So let me get this out of the way right off the bat: I'm okay! I'm actually doing pretty well. I ran a "Quest Drive" on my blog and in a weird, crowdsourced sort of way, I'm now a quester-for-hire. It's a strange circumstance but I find myself, in essence and practical application, a professional artist. Not that my art is professional-quality, mind you, just that people have decided it was worth paying for. And who am I to argue with them?

Things have been awfully quiet around here because I feel, more and more, that FA isn't really the best place for my work. The volume and frequency of my work doesn't seem to work well with the site's somewhat slow-paced upload system and I find my pictures rapidly outpacing my ability to keep (or interest in) uploading them here. I have somewhere in the vicinity of 800 pony pictures alone, and putting them all here would be a tedious and daunting task in scale alone.

Moreover, I've put much of my focus on other projects, most of which will be charted (at least for now) through my blog as an aggregator.
You can check it out HERE: http://tgweaver.tumblr.com/

With funding at least temporarily handled, I'm working on long-term concerns: an organized central repository, a single website for my stuff, advertising, merchandise, etc. Something that'll keep me afloat over a longer time scale.

So to summarize: I'm alive, I'm doing well, and I've got things in motion. But this account will probably remain pretty quiet.

It's been awful quiet here, as I'm sure you noticed. Why? Because for a long time now most of what I've been drawing is ponies or just tiny little scraps not really suited for coherent display. That's mostly because I've been sunk in depression and can't focus on more serious endeavors that require real thought and planning, such as quests and the like. I've also been sort of moving to Tumblr.

I could get all into how this move might have been a terrible idea but that soul-crushing reality is for another day. For now, at least, I'm alive, and I'm doing everything I can to stay that way. Maybe it will last. I sure hope it does. But jobs are thin and lean around here and in a town with barely more than a dozen stores with entry-level positions, where not even the local K-Mart is hiring, things can get pretty bleak.
I have made some bad decisions in my life. I just want to believe that I can push on through them and fix my situation, because if I can't, then I don't really want to think about what that means.

It’s good news.

I said I’d post when I had good news, and now I do.

Here’s the short of it: We have found a new place to live, and thanks to all of you, we have the means to get there and make our first payment, so we can start living there. We’ll be moving over state lines and taking a long overnight trip in a U-Haul but after weeks, we finally have, definitively, a place to go, and the money to get there. And it’s all thanks to the selfless generosity of people like you. I can’t possibly express the kind of gratitude those actions deserve. But in the coming weeks and months, I will try.

If you’re interested in more, here’s a more in-depth rundown of what’s happened: http://tgweaver.tumblr.com/post/208.....4634/thank-you

Allow me to be brief: Things have gone rapidly downhill in my current living situation and as a result I am being kicked out of my apartment. I don't have any place to go, and only a short time to get my stuff and get out. My brother, who lives here as well, is in the same boat. He and I are trying to find some way to not be homeless by this time next month. We may be moving across the country as a result.

We don't own much and have no real ties to the area, so our only real concerns are finding a place and having enough to actually move there and actually get in. I foresee a long bus/train ride in our immediate future.


I've been in some dire straits before, but never faced with the immediate threat of homelessness.
So it's with hat in hand I come to my fans today.

Normally I would not feel right just asking for money. In the past I have opened up donations only for brief periods, and only under the stipulation that I would be offering drawings in exchange, so it would feel less like a charity. Now, however, I do not have that luxury. Trying to find a home and a source of employment several states over is my priority.
It is important to stress that this time around, I cannot promise art in return on a per-donation basis. Once I'm gone, I don't even know how long it will be before I am back again.
But I want to be able to do something for those who have stood by me, my fans and supporters. I can't treat this plea for help as a pseudo-commission run this time. All I can say is I will try to make this up to you.

I know I am asking for a lot. But I am desperate now, and I'm reaching out. If you think it is worth doing, if you decide to help, please send your PAYPAL donations to:
ACTarbiter@gmail.com

Anything helps.
As for you reading this - whether or not you decide to donate, I want to thank you for your support over the years. I cannot forget the help of those who have stood by me or simply enjoyed the strange and crude art I create, for it is you who have made my work and at some points even my continued existence possible. You have my appreciation and gratitude, even if money never comes into it.
So, thank you.

I'd like to share a story about myself. It's the long and short of my handling of identity on the wide world of the internet, and how it's affected my work.

Recently it appears I was tracked down by a long-time fan who had enjoyed my works and wanted to find a definitive source for them. And it got me thinking.

I've long kept my works hidden, secret, or separate, for many reasons. More than anything, I didn't want the less wholesome aspects of my work to taint the more wholesome. I didn't want the fact I had drawn what amounted to crude pornography at some point to interfere with the delivery of a lighthearted joke on a separate subject. To wit: I didn't want my works to be judged on anything but their own merits. I had seen what happens when people suspect. I had seen some comics of mine written off by association, the fame of the identity "Player One" suddenly attacked because of association with RubyQuest. The disavowal of it, or the insistence by those against it that it should not be enjoyed by those enjoying it, because it was created by "that furry from /tg/ who made RubyQuest".

What man wants the ignominious moments of his past dredged up and paraded to see? I am sure there are those who resent what little success I've had, shaking their heads at those deluded enough to find entertainment in my work, wondering what they see in me. I'm not as much of an internet celebrity as most to whom this is true, and I've certainly tried to ruffle as few feathers as possible and generally make as few enemies as I could. And yet it's clear I've made some hated lists, and for as innocuous as I've always seen my work there are those who'd wished death upon me, at least in a passing internet sort of way.
And to these people I am sure as well that any shameful event or laughable history that could be brought up to throw dirt on me would be relished, to prove that this unwarranted applause I occasionally produce is just that. How the denizens of the internet love to take anyone who has produced work, as I have, and dig through their pasts for events to say "Here, come and see. The man you listen to or laugh with or even respect is flawed and undeserving."
And I am flawed, truly. I've done lots of stupid things, though I do not believe I have some singular deep dark secret whose sole reveal could ruin me. If I did, it would probably be the 'taint' of anthropomorphic and furry artwork, but what little fear I still had of that was discarded, of course, when I began publishing here. Still, that move alone has no doubt made many swear me off for good, and I cannot count the number of disgusted or simply disappointed reactions I've seen when someone who might once have been a fan discovers, to their horror or dismay, that I have a FurAffinity account now.
I have had total strangers, people whom I have never met -- nor will I ever meet -- take such umbrage at the few laughs I produce that they would take up against me on a personal level. I have seen these people dig up what information they could on me, even going so far as to post (what they thought were) photographs of my own home, and of people I knew or lived with. Even when the facts were inaccurate, which they often were, it felt bitterly hostile, knowing someone felt I had so wronged them that I deserved to be this hated. It felt unprovoked. But such people would not be placated until I went away and they no longer had to deal with me.

That's why I always tried to remain anonymous, or hidden. Why I omitted or even lied about the authorship of content. I wanted that content to be able to stand on its own, not bleed together. I'm intensely proud of my more serious works, like RubyQuest, but I also find a running amusement in drawing much more unsavory and bizarre works. I don't want RubyQuest to be ruined for anyone because I drew a crude penis or a table lamp with tits somewhere else.
After a long time I finally discarded these concerns.

In part, I realized that trying to hold a spotless image on the internet was impossible unless you really were spotless, which I certainly was not. And my detractors, justified as they may be, could not be thrown simply by hiding my name. I also realized that the few fans I had that wanted my work collectively could not get it. Finally, I knew that there was simply a point of tolerance that had to be reached.
In a way, perhaps I simply stopped caring so goddamn much about what people would think of me on the internet.
Coming to FurAffinity, even just as a single, comprehensive place to dump my art, I knew I would be not only establishing a more definitive 'identity', but also immediately 'soiling' it by associating it with the furry subculture. I've many points to make about the subculture and despite my presence here and the anthropomorphic art I sometimes produce, I've never considered myself a part of that subculture, and I would not ever opt to call myself a "furry". But that's a semantics argument for another day, a whole other can of worms.
My point is that even just by association I knew those who were borderline about my work or even enjoyed other aspects of it would be instantly alienated -- and many were. But again, at this point, it had become a secondary concern. Detractors will still come and I suppose I'll never be all that popular on 4chan again, but my time in the spotlight there is long gone anyway. EFG and Boxdog and other characters I've written have lost their place there. And besides, success on 4chan is hardly a trophy you can put on your mantle.

I used to avoid names. I used different accounts and even e-mails for different things. Hell, I would experiment with different art styles just so people wouldn't catch on right away, but it never really worked for long.
But all things settled, I now abandoned that and was content just to set down in a single place. Before coming here, I did many things, and I still spread myself wide (and too thin). But now I own up to it. Most of it.

I have given up my delusions of having a good image. What little respect or dignity I may have had is long-since gone. If at any point in my career I could have claimed a shred of integrity, violent disassemblies of Animal Crossing and countless sex jokes about My Little Pony have surely seen an end to it. I'm just another trashy artist on the dark side of the internet.

And yet somehow the world did not end. Life went on.

It's always great to see those people who've joined in of late, or held on through all that trouble, and just want to express their appreciation. Or hell, even just their presence.
I just wanted you and anyone like you to know that I appreciate kind words like those you've seen fit to give me, and that the genuine entertainment of my various audiences is all I truly strive for.
I won't deny there is some pleasure in being lauded or praised, though it's tempered knowing I have never been and will never be a very talented artist from any technical perspective, that my ability to convey even simple premises are hampered by my amateurish-at-best skills. Likewise there is a pleasure, sure, in some kind of misguided grasp for what fleeting or intangible fame or success that I may have known.

But at its core, the thing which I have sought longest and hardest is simply entertainment.
I take my greatest joys in seeing the reactions of the crowd, of moving them to laughter or anger, pity or sadness. I know there is some great selfish quality to it all, and that simply acknowledging it means knowing I am, in a way, just an attention whore. Bill Watterson once wrote that simply provoking a reaction is not the same as saying something significant. And it's true.
But I want the responses not simply because I want praise for them. I don't draw because I want a pat on the back. If I did, I'd probably have taken more classes. I want to see enjoyment, thought, entertainment. I want to push a weird idea out into the world, and I want to see how the world reacts.

I wanted to thank the people who've supported me in their various ways, even in something as simple as a guilty laugh at a dirty joke. I will be grateful every single time I read of someone staying up for hours because they were reading RubyQuest. No matter how many (or how few) people compliment me on a funny comic, I will always appreciate it. That kind of genuine response will never get old to me.
It's more than that, though.
Without people like you, I wouldn't even be here.

I'm not a great artist. I'm not much of a comedian. I can't draw and I can't write and those who can routinely produce better work than I do.
But for some reason, you all show up and make this work.
And I wanted to thank you in earnest.

Because without you, none of this happens.

So to all my fans, however few or many, long-time followers or just in passing, thank you.
You make any stage worth performing on.

I'm drawing a lot of ponies instead of working on my larger or more serious projects. Some people have complained that it's delaying Dive/NanQuest but I'm feeling pretty ragged these days and just drawing short, light-hearted/silly one-offs really helps my mood, so we'll probably see ponies for a while longer.

shit sucks life sucks angst whine mope

goddamn the sun and the light it shines and this world it shows

So here's the haps:
I have moved, and getting settled was a pain.
My roommate and I have been sick (there was some pneumonia). I've been here for weeks and most of my time has been spent looking after her or myself and as a result I've barely even had any time to go out and look for a job. I'm still sick but my schedule's slowly but surely clearing up and now I've submitted some job applications and my fingers are crossed.

This means I should finally have some time to get back to drawing, which in turn means those last few donation sketches will get done. If you're still waiting on yours, I'm really sorry it's taken so long! I will try not to make you wait much longer. Thank you for your patience so far.
Maybe soon I will have time to update my quests reliably, too.

Back, getting settled, still unpacking, but here I am in my new place. I'm alive. Yay~
Donation sketches resume shortly.

I wanted to thank each and every person who generously donated to me. I know there are still some of you who have not yet received your donation sketch and I am working on it. However, I wanted to let everyone know that I am moving (hopefully to a place with more jobs) and as a result I won't be around for a few days. Your sketches and more from me will be coming as soon as I'm able to set up again, which should be within a week. I hope until that time that all goes well!
Those who haven't gotten their sketches yet will still be getting them. I hope the delay isn't a problem, and I apologize for it.

Again, I wanted to thank everyone with the utmost sincerity for the selflessness and support you've given me. I owe you all very much.

GUESS WHAT!
This is my Birthday Week! THIS WEEK EXACTLY.

But things are not going well for me right now at all! My health is rapidly deteriorating and I broke a toothy wide open in a bloody mess the other day and I cannot afford to see a dentist and I am eating top ramen two meals a day and A WHOLE BUNCH OF OTHER THINGS DESIGNED SPECIFICALLY TO MAKE YOU FEEL SORRY FOR ME.

Why am I bringing up this orgy of self-pity and griping? Because I have decided to do what all once-relevant artists do when things take a turn for the worse.
No, not man up! I mean BILK MY LOYAL FANS!

That's right, starting now I am opening donations. Every little bit helps! I am normally too proud and stupid and venomous to ask for handouts but I am having trouble making ends meet and I do not feel like I am good enough to perform actual commissions. So in my mind this is the next best thing.
How much am I asking for? Only what you can spare or feel it is worth it to send! I hold no presumptions about being on-par with any of the genuine artists who actually make a living off their craft and can afford to buy banner ads. But every penny you can pledge will help!

But wait!
Everyone who donates $1.00 USD or more will get a complimentary sketch by me on a subject of your choosing!
So please be sure to include with your donation what you would like me to draw and I will be sure to deliver it to the best of my abilities in a prompt manner! Please keep in mind it will only be a sketch, and though I will do my best I cannot promise it will be worth hanging on your fridge!

If you are actually still here and not actually vomiting in anger at this moment, then please send your PAYPAL donations to:
ACTarbiter@gmail.com

So please, to all my remaining fans who I have not yet taken advantage of, give generously this Holiday Season. To me. And I will draw for you in return!
If nothing else, it would make a very nice birthday present!

So I guess I'm doing this now.

On the one hand I've always wanted a place to be able to compose my stuff all together, but on the other hand, making things public encourages feedback, and what I actually found out is that not all feedback is blind praise! Sometimes, it is criticism!
This does not appeal to me. If I wanted to hear something that does not 100% agree with me I would not be living in a tiny plastic bubble in the dark.
But I suppose we all have to take a risk sometime!

Some people will say that joining FurAffinity is the moment I lost my credibility and integrity. But that is stupid, because I never had those things to begin with!

Now that I have sufficiently alienated all potential audiences let's begin!