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Swapping back to my old account + character info!
Posted 4 years agoSome folks guessed a while back, my original account before this one was XanderShadow, over at 
I left it a few years back after some things, including a break from the fandom.
But I'm likely going to be going back to using it soon. It's my name sake after all. My name IS Xander.
All art that's currently on this account will not be taken down, so don't worry. Still here to view, save, crack your jollies off to x3 it'll serve as an archive of sorts I suppose!
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Any new art will be getting uploaded to the Xander account in future. And, the swap back to that account also comes with an... announcement of sorts?
I have finally settled on a personal character, a 'fursona' if you will!
A common misconception has been that "Grumpy Wolf" was my sona. In ways he kind of has been, but he's more been my front like, primary CHARACTER; not my personal one, my 'me' as it were.
Some folks know about it and have seen the design, but you'll have to wait until the accoutn swap is fully done to see~ Fans of Monster Hunter and Final Fantasy will be pleasantly surprised, I'll say that~
SO! If you follow me, and want to keep following me, go and follow me there! There'll be things coming soon!
I left it a few years back after some things, including a break from the fandom.
But I'm likely going to be going back to using it soon. It's my name sake after all. My name IS Xander.
All art that's currently on this account will not be taken down, so don't worry. Still here to view, save, crack your jollies off to x3 it'll serve as an archive of sorts I suppose!
======================
Any new art will be getting uploaded to the Xander account in future. And, the swap back to that account also comes with an... announcement of sorts?
I have finally settled on a personal character, a 'fursona' if you will!
A common misconception has been that "Grumpy Wolf" was my sona. In ways he kind of has been, but he's more been my front like, primary CHARACTER; not my personal one, my 'me' as it were.
Some folks know about it and have seen the design, but you'll have to wait until the accoutn swap is fully done to see~ Fans of Monster Hunter and Final Fantasy will be pleasantly surprised, I'll say that~
SO! If you follow me, and want to keep following me, go and follow me there! There'll be things coming soon!
Meh day, feel free to ignore.
Posted 4 years agoToday is really one of those "Should I bother" days.
I know I shouldn't, but I see other people who're stupidly popular, constantly get messages from people, who people seem to truly like;
And it makes me wonder what I've done wrong in life; when I'm lucky to hear from anyone on a given day. Certainly I next to never hear from anyone unless I initiate it. I mean.. I try to be a good person and a good friend? I do my damnest to be available for folks, to do what I can
And I spend almost every day alone; even when I reach out I'm lucky to get a reply; almost never the one who GETS messaged/called. so I just spend often days sat on my own wondering and worrying if I'm the fault. I probably am.
Eh, another thought that'll get lost in the void, but it helps to type it.
Just tired I suppose of almost constantly being alone. But hey ho; not an artist, not rich so cant shower commissions on people or buy their affection as others do. Most of the 'big' names who aren't artists and who people love are the ones dropping thousands a month on dozens of pieces and giving friends loads of shit.
I'm just a useless cunt from the UK who struggles most months to get one done.
To be honest, when the last of the characters I've had for sale gets paid for and goes to it's new owner; I've honestly thought of just shutting down my accounts on here, twitter n such and goingcompletely silent again. Been trying for twenty years and got nowhere. Probably time to call it quits.
I know I shouldn't, but I see other people who're stupidly popular, constantly get messages from people, who people seem to truly like;
And it makes me wonder what I've done wrong in life; when I'm lucky to hear from anyone on a given day. Certainly I next to never hear from anyone unless I initiate it. I mean.. I try to be a good person and a good friend? I do my damnest to be available for folks, to do what I can
And I spend almost every day alone; even when I reach out I'm lucky to get a reply; almost never the one who GETS messaged/called. so I just spend often days sat on my own wondering and worrying if I'm the fault. I probably am.
Eh, another thought that'll get lost in the void, but it helps to type it.
Just tired I suppose of almost constantly being alone. But hey ho; not an artist, not rich so cant shower commissions on people or buy their affection as others do. Most of the 'big' names who aren't artists and who people love are the ones dropping thousands a month on dozens of pieces and giving friends loads of shit.
I'm just a useless cunt from the UK who struggles most months to get one done.
To be honest, when the last of the characters I've had for sale gets paid for and goes to it's new owner; I've honestly thought of just shutting down my accounts on here, twitter n such and goingcompletely silent again. Been trying for twenty years and got nowhere. Probably time to call it quits.
A thought on characters, and Fursonas; and not feeling th...
Posted 4 years agoNow, let me preface this with some knowledge.
I've been a part of this fandom in one way or another; for over two decades. Something close to twenty two years now.
In that time, I've been known by a few names, more than a few looks. From a demon and a fox to the grumbly old Wolf you often see uploaded here.
Some have had my name, wether they started out with it, or ended up taking on the name before it then passed on to another design. other times their name was my name until I settled on something different as I grew.
But as I look back on things, I've been realizing more and more that... I don't think I've ever had what you'd consider a Persona/Fursona in all those years?
What I mean by that, is that I've never had that connection I see other people have with their character that represents 'Them' in a online format.
To me, all they've ever been? Night, Neon, Xanders of various designs, even Grumpy? are just... characters. Sure some of them have aspects of me, but what character doesn't really? By the nature of design, we put a little bit of our own self into what we make. Be it part of the personality, a physical quirk, expression.
But they've never been, never felt like 'me'.. and more so lately that's kind of been bothering me? I can look at every single character I've ever made, wether it's just a side one uses very infrequently, or one like Grumpy who's the kind of 'face' of my account? and I feel no different between them.
Then I see people talking about their 'sonas. How personal they are, how special or meaningful they are to them.. and I just feel like I'm missing something?
"I" am Xander. Name most people know me by in person, it's on my mail, it's what I get called on the phone.
None of my characters, past or present, even when they've shared that name; have felt like me... and I do now know why.
Maybe because even after thirty two years.. I still don't know WHO I am? that I'm still not happy with myself.. so how could I make a character/representation for the world that I am happy with?
I've been a part of this fandom in one way or another; for over two decades. Something close to twenty two years now.
In that time, I've been known by a few names, more than a few looks. From a demon and a fox to the grumbly old Wolf you often see uploaded here.
Some have had my name, wether they started out with it, or ended up taking on the name before it then passed on to another design. other times their name was my name until I settled on something different as I grew.
But as I look back on things, I've been realizing more and more that... I don't think I've ever had what you'd consider a Persona/Fursona in all those years?
What I mean by that, is that I've never had that connection I see other people have with their character that represents 'Them' in a online format.
To me, all they've ever been? Night, Neon, Xanders of various designs, even Grumpy? are just... characters. Sure some of them have aspects of me, but what character doesn't really? By the nature of design, we put a little bit of our own self into what we make. Be it part of the personality, a physical quirk, expression.
But they've never been, never felt like 'me'.. and more so lately that's kind of been bothering me? I can look at every single character I've ever made, wether it's just a side one uses very infrequently, or one like Grumpy who's the kind of 'face' of my account? and I feel no different between them.
Then I see people talking about their 'sonas. How personal they are, how special or meaningful they are to them.. and I just feel like I'm missing something?
"I" am Xander. Name most people know me by in person, it's on my mail, it's what I get called on the phone.
None of my characters, past or present, even when they've shared that name; have felt like me... and I do now know why.
Maybe because even after thirty two years.. I still don't know WHO I am? that I'm still not happy with myself.. so how could I make a character/representation for the world that I am happy with?
Some art removed.
Posted 4 years agoI've deleted a few submissions featuring Grumpy with other peoples characters.
They've asked that if I do go ahead with the sale of Grumpy, that any art featuring them not be included in the sale. So I've deleted it in the likelihood I do sell my characters.
As it stands, characters that will be going up for sale will likely be;
Grumpy Wolf
Xander Hyena
Elora Armstice
In the event I do decide to say fuck it to the fandom and sell them, I'll be taking offers on the rights to those characters and subsequently the art of them, minus specific pieces involving some other people.
Grumpy will likely be in the multiple hundred range to the ammount of art of him and the artists who've done them; many were not cheap.
They've asked that if I do go ahead with the sale of Grumpy, that any art featuring them not be included in the sale. So I've deleted it in the likelihood I do sell my characters.
As it stands, characters that will be going up for sale will likely be;
Grumpy Wolf
Xander Hyena
Elora Armstice
In the event I do decide to say fuck it to the fandom and sell them, I'll be taking offers on the rights to those characters and subsequently the art of them, minus specific pieces involving some other people.
Grumpy will likely be in the multiple hundred range to the ammount of art of him and the artists who've done them; many were not cheap.
