Gotta pack up and get sorted for my journey back to my mums.

Will be excessively busy, so no uploads. :P

Going to try and keep my BP steady and not risk Palps and Anxiety.

Fuck.

I hate trains and so many people trying to rush and fuck about.

Bleh.

Wish me luck.

-

-- Thrasher / Wolfie

xx

Right, on the 1st of April, I will be going back to my mums for the ENTIRE month.

The plan is to get the housing thing rolling as I do feel I need my own personal space away from my family home.

Its nothing bad, just been living at home for the longest time because of my disabilities and mental illnesses. Now I feel is the time to get some help with housing.

I won't be far from my Mama Pamf (my mum) and should be in the same town, with any luck.

I'll be a little preoccupied with packing for the next few days, as I don't have much time and want to sort a few things out before I go.

Commission work will be here and there, but they are still open.

Just might need a few days to get packed, get home and unpack into my bedroom and then Set-Up my Laptop and Tablet.

I was going to pop a hiatus until I was back home. Which is only a week, but I don't want to commit to paid work until i'm settled again at home.

----

This does mean I will be away from my for a little while, but we got visits and stuff planned out so it won't be too lonesome at my mums.

When i'm settled in, i'll work on commissions and get back into regular routines with my artwork for personal stuff too.

I'm too all over the shop / scatterbrained too lately so I want to put 110% into my paid work and slowly get back into commissions.

When I get back, commissions come FIRST.

I hope this is okay with you guys, you may see a doodle or something to keep me occupied or finishing up something.

I'm too distracted, so I apologise.

I get horrible anxiety when I travel and the days leading up and after the journey will leave me pooped out energy wise.

Again, you may see a doodle or two, keeping the mind busy while packing and fretting about trains and stuff. XD

Happy to answer notes still, I will try to keep comms updated as much as possible. <3

---

Housing, Health and other odds and ends will be my mission when i'm at mums too. So if I don't answer, I am possibly on the phone or in a building getting sorted. :)

Maybe one day i'll have a nice den of my own.

-

-- Thrasher / Wolfie

xx

After a good weekend, i'm tired but in great spirits. <3

Paid work will begin Monday! Really excited to get back in the saddle and get commissions done. <3

Today I'm just recovering from my day out and being in loud environments, also still having bad pain issues but think i'll be okay. ^_^;

Got a phone appointment tomorrow with the doctor to keep tabs on my medication so all good.

Thank you for being patient and letting me have this weekend to myself. I really appreciate you all for being so good with me. :)

Now to get some rest, drink plenty of water and rest up before the day starts!

See you on Monday!

--

- Thrasher / Wolfie

xx

Righto!

I will be attending Thamesfurs Bowling Meet on Saturday, so i'm super excited for that.

It might be a little hard on my Chronic Pain the day after so I will be taking Sunday to kind of rest and get a few things done.

Thing is, I rarely socialise these days and i'm trying so hard to fight for my life back, so this is important to me. <3

I'll be back and doing commissions on Monday, paid work will start then so I can concentrate a bit more.

Still suffering from the other day's travels and pain flare ups have been happening, but i'm trying to kick myself into motion again. ^_^

My anxiety has been a little better, so i'm hoping it'll improve over the next few weeks with my new tablets too.

So Saturday , if your at the meet - say hello! I won't bite. <3

Love you guys, hope you are all well.

See you soon!

- Thrasher / Wolfie

xx

Happy St. Patricks Day to all! 🍀

Hope you have a great day n' all the good luck!

Lots of Irish fluff and love from this lion!

Drink Responsibly, if you do!

"Sláinte" , good health and all the best!

- Thrasher / Wolfie

xx

Please go take a look here!

https://www.furaffinity.net/view/59922426/

- Thrasher / Wolfie

xx

My anxiety and BPD have been duking it out in my head and ruining my physical and mental state.

I'm sorry i've not been chatty or posting, something happened during my therapy phone call and it just all fell apart.

Images returned, flashbacks from PTSD and also other trauma, I had a massive panic attack on the phone and we had to cut it short.

Sadly, it got worse throughout the day, then the night....then the break/meltdown happened.

I am so disappointed in myself for snapping and becoming unstable, so i'm in a huge state of guilt, pain and just distress atm.

Commissions will be dealt with, I just need a little time to fix up my head and tend to the pain issues in my body before It gets worse.

I'm sorry i've been so lost, I was going so well and I was told not to feel bad for slipping off the path of healing but it feels bad, man.

I'll be okay, thank you so much for your support and care, it means a lot to me.

Those who know me, know I won't let it beat me but its given me a good kicking while i'm down so picking myself up is the next thing.

Chronic Pain issues feel nasty right now as its reared its ugly head again during this time. I apologise if things seem uncertain.

Things get worse to get better, right?

It sucks that way.

But I appreciate all of you, so thank you very much. <3

-

-- Thrasher / Wolfie

xx

I finally got my anti-anxiety medication guys!

I've been taking 3 a day, 15mg a day I guess and I do notice i'm not quite as bad as I have been.

They're not benzos, so not addictive, kind of like a mood stabiliser but in certain areas of the brain.

So far - so good!

I went out to a LGBTQ~ bar tonight and had a good laugh with my boyfriend and our good friend Ollie the Foxxo.

Was a little nervous but pushed through the barriers and had a nice, relaxing time, a few beers and a natter.

---

Still struggling mobility wise, tonight kind of proved it. Sitting, then standing, walking and trying to keep things functional in my left leg/hip and back is an issue but I refuse to back down and give in. <3

Sometimes I have to take the day and recover but i'm just so lucky I have such a caring Tigerbutt to keep my spirits up and help me. He's such a wonderful Tiger.

Pain meds suck, keep needing naps on them but all good as I can kip for 30mins or rest and then resume what i'm doing.

---

I did have that near-breakdown but since that issue arose, i've been feeling recovered and not as intensely angry at everything and unstable.

----

I know I haven't done a lot of art the last few days, I -DO- have art I just not uploaded it yet. Ha. Sorry. ^^;

Gotta keep the art-train a' Rollin.

Commissions are still open, need to sort out a Paypal being in the red but i'm not going to panic like I usually do. Happy to listen to commission requests of most kinds, just not too NSFW,

Other than that, life is starting to feel like I can make a move and a new step in the right direction.

Thank you for the recent watches, views and favourites.

I really love reading your comments, and appreciate your interactions.

Take care and keep safe,

- Thrasher / Wolfie

xx

Just before I met up with and we started dating, we saw a shooting star that was very clear a message or sign. It started off as one, then split and became two right above us.

Tonight.

Right before we met up at the bar, as we went out tonight...a fireball/bright shooting star shot over where we were. It lit up the night sky, burst into a large ball of colour before fading.

First night i've been out in ages. I got there slightly before Simba, so we both saw it at the same time but from different places.

I feel...emotional and happy, like it was meant to happen this way.

What do you think?

- Thrasher / Wolfie

x

https://toyhou.se/Thrasher
https://toyhou.se/Thrasher
https://toyhou.se/Thrasher

---

Took me a good few hours to organise my lot. :)

Still under WIP

Some I can't remember previous owners or where i've bought from, as my memory is a little shit. ^_^

But!

Slowly getting there.

Go visit them!

:D

---

- Thrasher / Wolfie

xx

Been feeling a little shitty thanks to Insomnia rearing up, anxiety is on turbo and i'm flinching more than i'd like to admit.

I'm worried whole heart and soul for so many people, I think my heart is starting to lose the battle. I don't want to become a cold, dark-minded hermit again.

I've tried so many things to sleep too, but think I may need to get some Melatonin and/or go back to the doctor AGAIN.

Things have been kind of rough, but i'm trying to push through things, I always gotta keep on keepin' or I start losing myself.

Chronic pain has been flaring up, again, more than usual through stress and its making me feel useless as a person. Yknow, I feel lazy for needing to rest all the aches and pains. :/

I usually draw most of the day, but I wake up : Sore and Tired, then...it feels like flu/covid aches and pains in all my body, it just feels worse as the day goes on.

Fucking Fibromyalgia has taken a good chunk of my life and i'm trying so hard to fight back, but the depression and lethargy, no energy is INSANE.

I won't bullshit, I used to have one of the highest pain tolerances, now i'm reduced to a messy, useless waste.

Depression and Anxiety, PTSD, BPD, Psychosis and Fibro have dominated my life. I just struggle with life in general now, and I feel worthless.

Its hard. And when I dream, if I do apart from traumatic images...is the recurring being chased and not being able to use my legs, my back and also now...losing my arms too.

I'm torn up but still here, and i'm tired...I hurt, but I don't want you guys thinking its going to beat me down,

We all have bad days, but its not a bad life.

I will be seeking Psychotherapy and Intensive Counselling, so hoping to work out some of these mental bugs and see if it improves my outlook on daily challenges and problems.

There's more going on and i'm just tired.

Apologies if I worry anyone, or you feel like you can't approach me.

Just because I don't talk a lot, doesn't mean I will ever regret your messages or notes. I do love and appreciate so many of you all and I wish my head was all-together.

If I don't respond, don't take it personally. Lots of reasons behind my problems with interacting with others.

I do care about you all.

Just keep safe.

--

- Thrasher / Wolfie

xx

I mentioned in my social media that my best friend, Chu, sadly lost her wonderful cat, Nibbler.

Nibbler was a one of a kind, black and white large boi who was never fat, but chonk full of love, fluff and purrs.

Honestly, he was a saint. Always knew when someone was sad, hurting, ill or even needed cuddles or a laugh.

Nibbler will be missed by not only his Mamachu, but also by every soul that met this precious bean.

I have many heartfelt stories of Nibs, i'll remember him fondly forever. I'm just saddened he won't bulldoze into my legs and make me trip over like he used to.

Or stare at you when your on the toilet , protecting you from the noisy flushing monster. <3

Life won't be the same without you dear Nibs. Or as I used to call you, Nibster, Nibblydibs, Nibblykins and Nibnob. <3

Uncle Thrasher will miss you, gorgeous boi.

Nibbler has crossed the Rainbow Bridge, gone, but never forgotten as his paw prints have touched so many hearts.

- Thrasher / Wolfie

xx

https://x.com/TBlackpaw/status/1892702356975890801

My mini break with was a little cold, a little windy but we had fun!

Tired, sore from my Chronic Pain stuff but alls good.

Arcades were fun! Won a little dragon plushie, wonder if you saw him on my socials. Haha.

One of my favey dragons. :P

Had a nice coffee, a nice meal in the hotel - then a hot chocolate that was super yummy! A good sleep and cuddle. <3

Was a really nice time, pushing through some barriers and defo enjoyed the Pier and getting the train up to the end of it!

Met little birds, can't remember what they were called but sweet 'swift' like birds. Saw lots of doggos and a big ol' Mastiff who got scared of the punching bag machine at the Arcade, bless his heart.

But! I'm back, gonna take a day to recover and post price list up again, as i'm happy to talk commissions again!

So I hope you are well and warm, keeping safe as you can. <3

--

- Thrasher / Wolfie

xx

On the 13th and 14th (Valentines) , my partner and I will be going down to the coast for a little overnight trip.

Going to see what Arcades are there, have a nice lunch, more exploring then a nice meal together. <3

I'm a little nervous but really excited. ^_^

Got a nice hotel room with a fancy coffee machine in it so going to use that a LOT. Haha.

Overcaffeinated Kitties !

--

- Thrasher / Wolfie

xx

Hey guys!

How are we doing?

-

I'm alright, just getting on with art and thoroughly enjoying myself doing so!

Trying to find a style i'm happy with but I'm all over the place and have multiple waves and tides of weird styles going on.

Its because I love experimenting I guess. <3

I am also in the process of going through some older designs and letting them go, some of them just are harder, yknow?

Been also diving back into browsing a lot of TLK art, as someone just outside of that community - Its warm and cozy looking in, it really warms my heart to see people still love The Lion King.

----

Other than that, my withdrawal is going well off Amitryptaline, think i've shook off the worst bits.

Chronic Pain has shot back up, keep having flare-ups but i'm going alright, I can call the doc this week and sort that one out when i'm ready.

Mentally still feeling good, not 100% but still feeling okay. <3

---

Commissions are open too!

-

-- Thrasher / Wolfie

xx

Price Sheet : https://www.furaffinity.net/view/59664002/

-

Thankfully my funk has subsided and happy to work again!

Please Note if interested!

-

- Thrasher / Wolfie

xx

Hey lovely fluffs. <3

Wanted to update you on Health stuff. Um. Well, i've gotta start new meds and injections to help bring my weight back down as i've put on a LOT since my leg, hip and back chronic pain has stopped a lot of my mobility. Fibromyalgia and such things too.

Hoping I get them tomorrow and can start my weight loss journey. Not looking forward to it but its nice to have the help offered, so I'll take it.

-

Other than that, I am going to be withdrawing off Amitryptaline in the net few weeks. Then they need to keep on top of pain meds and maybe increase my CoDydramol and possibly a new medication if it may help with pain relief.

So I might be a little out of it for a few weeks getting used to new things and whatnot.

Going to give it a little more time before I re-open for Comms.

Just so I can wrap my head around the new routine.

Although, its nice to have a doctor say they SEE that I have eating problems, where I binge - don't purge, but turn the anger and guilt on myself, I've always felt ashamed feeling hungry or needing food, like it was taboo. Childhood taught me to be light with food, then teen years I have always had a traumatic time with food and eating. Recently I just can't seem to balance anything out, despite eating well, eating food that isn't bad, good meals, etc. I still feel DEEP pangs of shame when I eat. Its hard to explain...but always trying to avoid the bullies and abusers I wasn't 'perfect' or 'thin enough' for ...it leaves more than physical marks. But now it has. Its left a huge insecure part of me i'm only coming to terms with.

I prefer to eat fresh veg, fruit, nuts, fish, lean meat...etc...but ehhh...I do have the sweet sides I beat myself with like a fucking stick when I do eat them.

If anyone can make sense of this, please...just know i've tried to train myself with weights, walking, etc...used to keep my weight down before pain settled in.

I feel like i've failed but i'm determined to turn my life around this year.

If I can lose weight and slowly rebuild my strength, then slowly train the muscle IF I can get proper pain relief too, its not just mobility from pain, its the exhaustion and constant aches of Fibro and its fucked up my breathing...im a mess basically.

But.

I'm determined, but a little scared of this journey.

Again, give me a little time to sort my head out and get on track, then i'll get back to Re-Opening Commissions in good time.

Sorry for the jumbled - pantsness of all this.

--

- Thrasher / Wolfie

xx

I now need to do a medication review with this issue with the Amitryptaline.

I got a call saying I had to make a phone appointment as they have REMOVED it from repeats, but won't specify why.

Won't lie, the concept of withdrawal scares me.

I gotta wait til the 21st of this month to see if i'm withdrawing or changing pills at this stage.

So til I know, Comms will be closed.

I already feel very uncomfortable lowering the dose to make it stretch further to then.

Thank you for the support guys, it means more than you know. <3

--

- Thrasher / Wolfie

xx

Here's to anyone who wants a commission, thought it would be easier to tell you via a journal.

Thanks to confusion with my clinic, I no longer have access to one of my medications.

The confusion is : I don't know if i've got to withdraw off this certain medication, and it might be a little tough for me if I do.

I've been on Amitryptaline 40mg each day for about 5 years now.

I don't know whats going on as my clinic/GP is slow to tell me any worthwhile information but it was not on my Repeat.

So until I know, commissions are paused for the meantime.

I mean no disrespect, or delay or anything bad against you - I just need to sort this out or I could end up in heaps of trouble health-wise.

Withdrawal is no joke and I might have to do it cold turkey, for a longstanding medication i've been on for each day without fail? I'm a little worried.

Hoping to get this sorted out.

You can still chat to me about commissions, if you'd like to of course.

I just won't be doing any work until I know whats going on.

--

- Thrasher / Wolfie

xx

Just a check in and letting you know i'm still here, still active and still doodling away in my own little world.

Medication-wise I had to go back to taking the full Duloxetine dose at night as I just can't seem to function at ALL during the day.

Night dose for now. Holy shit they do hit hard. But thankfully i'm doing a bit better.

Getting my blood results on the 20th and seeing where I stand on the current meds i'm on, see if there's a change - again.

It feels like an uphill struggle stuck in my ol' VW, but I do feel a lot more positive about many things.

Taking extra vitamin D and C which i'm usually deficient on? Amazing! I feel better energy and more like I can function just a little bit.

Not perfect but it feels good. Less Energy Drinks needed! Less Caffeine, less of the drinks I use to keep awake! :D

--

Other than that, just coping with the cold weather, heck, i'm wearing socks...SOCKS! Of all things! I never wear socks as I find them irritating and uncomfortable. XDD

I'm also going to be looking for my own flat/housing this year, I don't live well at home and I legally can't live with my partner, as the rules on his place are a little...not good.

Been trying to do more, my hip and leg, plus painkillers make it a little harder as they sap my will and energy, but, a little fraction of progress? I guess. :P

Not sleeping well at night due to my Night Terrors and Anxiety, i'm in fight or flight or freeze every night and its crazy.

--

Hope you all are doing well this 2025, I know there's a lot going on in the world right now so I hope you are safe, sound and doing okay.

Genuinely, I do read journals and I worry.

Just be safe, okay?

-

-- Thrasher / Wolfie

xx

Well, i'm keeping up to date with all my meds, including my regulars and new dosages.

60mg of Duloxetine is now 90mg, and yesterday I have to apologise to my Commissioners - I was Out Of Order during the day.

It hit me like a brick in the head and left me feeling fuzzy and confused. Very tired and I couldn't work under those conditions.

Today i'll start commissions, now I think I can balance things out.

Ugh, it might not seem a alot to some, but Duloxetine is one of my pain/anxiety meds so its kinda a new heavy on me.

Still getting there, but please have a little patience, didn't think it'll suddenly slap me into sleep-mode.

Apologies, today i'll keep energised and work on paid commissions. ^_^

Thank you!

- Thrasher / Wolfie

xx

Hey guys, gals and fluffy pals!

Happy 2025, i'm a little late but ehhhh, been with family and my partner, wrapping up '24.

-

Righto! Commissions open on the 5th of January. I have a hard few months ahead so will be also updating via Journals more often for any Queues.

I still am the sort of lion that works fast, but I want to try and balance things this year.

I'm happy to work, just gotta keep my health in check and 2025 is a huge year for medication changes, therapy and intensive counselling where I will need to decompress now and then.

Also had my blood test done, getting a follow up on the 20th but nothing is too out of line this time, better than last time apparently.

So, here's to progress and feeling healthier with a better mindset about many things.

-

Hope we all are well, keeping safe and warm in these colder months.

Love you all, thank you for the support and keeping up to date with my shenanigans.

- Thrasher / Wolfie

xx

I'm still here, just being a bit busy here with family and trying to be social too. Its hard!

Thankfully i'll be seeing my boyfriend in New Years and I couldn't be happier. <3

Things seem to be settling down and i'm incredibly thankful to those who keep check on me, thank you. Love you guys.

Christmas is hard for a lot of us so i'm sending out all the love to you this time of year.

Music and stuff helps. <3

Hope you all are well!

Finally starting to get used to my med time change, vitamins in the morning plus Duloxetine.

So if I dont see you in the next few days, Happy Christmas, Yule, whatever you celebrate. <3

- Thrasher / Wolfie

xx

My budgie William died this morning. I have to go home to an empty cage. Age got him and he got unwell too. RIP...

I'm heartbroken.

- Thrasher / Wolfie

Xx

I am awfully sorry but i'm going to have to close Commissions a little early.

Just a lot going on, mentally, physically and other things out of my control.

I will take a last call, but closing tomorrow.

Any commission booked in today will be completed but not taking any more until the new year.

I just don't feel up to working during Christmas, there's a lot of things flying around and just need the decompression.

- -

- Thrasher / Wolfie

( CLOSING 7th DECEMBER.)