Making a new account, with a new name. been meaning to.

I graduated today, but I don't feel good about it. after the groups that graduated with highest honors, and honors, I got the distinction of being in the group thats "graduating".

I feel like a failure.

update: I feel better now, but still feel I could have done more.

i'm getting blender so i can practice modeling over the summer, you might get to see some of my stuff.

... but the waffles were delicious.

I went to waffle house with friends yesterday, and ate waffles, and hasbrowns, but the chewing loosened some stitches on one side of my mouth. Today the stitches came out, when i tried to tighten them myself. Now i think i have an exposed nerve or something. It really hurts, and the pain killers only made it somewhat tolerable.

it's better then it was earlier thanks to an icepack.

on another note; if your interested in talking to me for any reason, like boredom, you can get in contact with me on MSN, or skype.

i got them removed to day, and i still can't feel much of my lower jaw, what i can feel, i wish i didn't.

note- i think the dentist may have cut my cheek while i was under.

you find the idea of biking in the rain, at night, when it's 40 degrees out, a comparably enjoyable activity to "enjoying yourself".

or you might just be a crazy person who likes to ride a bike in bad weather.

my thoughts on the matter- "I've ridden in worse. I wonder if I could drift?"

if my next journal is a description of a hospital, then you'll know why.

Today I got 3 mechs painted. I am very happy about this.
Ok, technically only one of them is a mech, but still...

I got my two athena vehicles painted to match. They could have come out better i think, but there not bad. (white paint is a pain to use)

I also got my snow fox painted, and it looks amazing. It's also painted with the same general scheme as the athenas, Light gray with white highlights, and mithril silver stripes.

I wish there was a way to get the shininess of the silver to show up in pictures.
I'll have pictures up soon, and as soon as I paint the metal jenner, I'll post pics of the fiesta lance.

also, is anyone interested in stories? I might start writing again, but I'm not sure if it would be worth it.

as all the other journals are saying right now, happy new years
Hopefully this year will go smoothly for me.

I'm going to get a picture of all the mechs i have painted so far. That includes the Marauder, the catapult, the lex mech, and the FIESTA LANCE *cue mariachi band*. I might include the jenner... but I might not, because it came out horribly, and I hate to look at it.

I still have other mechs to paint. I have most of the plastic ones from the starter set. I have the metal jenner, which i might paint black, and red, and maybe get some green stuff to model an AC/20 on it. I still have that snow fox that needs to be primed, and painted. i haven't decided how I'll paint it though. I got some centaur proto-mechs today. I'm going to paint them like clydesdales, and put together my own stats for them.

I still need to do some present buying. i don't know what to get my parents tho. I got one of my friends some sonic comics, cause he loves sonic, and another an undead horsemen, cause he loves zombies.

and finally the need for mind bleach. While searching for reference pics of anthro Clydesdales to use with my proto mechs, i got to see plenty of horse dick. and for the most part, all i could think about was the impossibility of the sizes they were. 25% of your body volume can not be penis. Maybe i just don't understand porn.

Also, why are there so few pictures of Clydesdales anyway? Clydesdales are awesome. There should be more clydesdales (with pants) on this site.

For my birthday i got a leather bound journal from my aunt. I've decided to use it to keep track of the actions/experience of my players for my game. I want to give it a name like "The book of Worthy Deeds", or "The Tome of Heroics". something along that line. what ever it's called i wanted to have the title on the cover in silver leaf, maybe with a design below it (a future rifle, a sword, and a staff crossed maybe?). If i'm feeling overly ambitious, maybe some other stuff, like silver doves on each side, so they don't think killing is the only option.

so... does anyone know how to gild things?

I got a netbook from my grandpa. Now that I can type anywhere, maybe I'll get some writing done... maybe...

I want to write more, but it gets so frustrating sometimes with so little input.

edit- HOLY CRAP! I'm 18 today! How did I forget!

edit 2- I think I'll keep the option to not see mature artwork on.

I grew up on this series, so was psyched to see it. I always expect great things from Pixar, and have never been disappointed, but their latest movie exceeded my expectations. The opening sequence is fantastic, and sets up the rest of the movie very effectively. Every moment was engaging, every character was interesting, and ever setting looked fantastic.
One of the things that impressed me most was the 3D. It never did the cliche of throwing stuff at the screen. many 3D movies do this, and it's annoying. Toy story never did this, or I just didn't notice. I actually think the 3D added to the film, and was more than a very expensive gimmick

I'm not going to give any spoilers, so don't worry.
I don't cry often. I've never cried at a funeral. why is this important? Because I was on the verge of a teary breakdown during the third act. I didn't completely breakdown, but I was crying, quite a bit. this is the second time Pixar has gotten a tear from me (I teared a bit during the opening of "Up"). How do they do it? Not even Schindler's list got a tear from me. but twice Pixar got me to tear up, and this time they got me to want to cry even after the film ended, and as I headed home.
Go see Toy story 3. It is one of the best films you'll see in a while. See it in 3D IMAX, and bring a tissue.

I'm working on a story that actually describes the apocalypse. it has 4 main characters who are the ancestors of the 4 characters I want to use later.

I still need to work on dandelions. I'm in a bit of a rut on that one.

I'm going to take a break from poetry.

I want to paint my mechs again

I want to have a story posted soon. If I don't finish the apocalypse, then I'll write a short transformation or something.

I finished writing my three poems. all three are about the dark, and all of them are exposed to be positive, and optomistic, instead of the usual depressing and cynical stuff you get with the dark.

I recently got into comic books. I had read the trades before, but never followed the monthly serieses. I started last week by picking up war of the supermen #1. it was good, I needed to consult wikipedia to catch up with current events tho. this week I got the second issue of War of supermen, and got the newest issue of Booster gold. I love booster gold. He's hilarious, and yet still a deep and compelling character.

I want to write a short story next, and I really need to work on dandelions. I think I'll write something about a merchant next, and draw some inspiration from Kansas' song "Wayward Son".

If anyone wants to talk just say so.

So many Ideas, so little productivity.
Alright I have some things I'd like to do.

Writing
I want to do some more short stories of a post-apocalyptic nature. Perhaps build up a cast of recurring characters. I'd also like to work on "Dandelions on the wind" some more.

Poetry
Write some more of it. A few possible topics- Post-apocalyptic, General geekery, My feelings on being a furry, anything else hat comes to mind.

painting
I want to start painting my Mechs again.

Audio
I would like to do something to do with audio. I've considered maybe doing Radio plays, but getting other people to help would be a pain. I've also considered doing audio journals, a sort of one man podcast. all that is moot of course since I have nothing to record with. No mic, and no software.

well that's what is on my mind, hopefully all actually follow through on some of it.

I've been playing some game with what I refer to as temporal mechanics. i don't mean the kind of stuff in prince of persia. What I'm referring to is different and much more innovative
Cursor*10 it's hard to explain the mechanics, so just play it yourself.
The company of myself is another good game. the story is fantastic, and is worth a play or two.

check them both out.

I just got the Idea to make a radio play. I'd get to write, and act. I'd need to get some friends to play the characters though, and learn how to do a bunch of audio stuff. I'd also need decent recording equipment.
I'd probably write something in the post-apocalyptic genre, since it's my favorite.

Link
I posted the new story up. it's about Hypnosis, maids, and just relaxing.check it out.
hopefully I can get back into the writing groove, and finish dandelions on the wind.

I'm working on a new story, but i might not post it. It gets kind of personal though, so I might not post it. I'll see when I'm done. the story was just off the top of my head. I took my English teacher's advice and did a free write. it just so happened that hypnotism was on my mind.

work on dandelion's on the wind is going slowly. I just have trouble getting the motivation to write.

just as i finally got the art of making friends in real life nearly mastered, i find out that I am completely clueless as to making friends on the internet. I also don't want a repeat of the last "friend" I had on here.
Ill probably search the forums and google for advice.
I wonder why I'm journaling about this. I only have 2 watcher's (hello there). Oh well.

to the forums!

I'm still working on dandelion's on the wind. It's coming slowly, and i need to work on it more often. I like how it's turning out so far. I'm considering posting t in parts, but I'm not sure if that's a good idea.

I went to Arena racing at the Hampton colliseum. It was aesome. It was like Nascar, but with more crashes. there was a minimum of 2 crashes a race, and there were 5 races. It's loud and when you really get into it, it's exciting. on the last race I decided to choose a car to root for. It made it so much more fun than just watching for crashes. It got too the point where me and my friends were out of our seats, leaning over the railing, and cheering on our respective cars. I even started howling. My car (02) almost won, but crashed 3 times in the 2nd half of the race. In total there were over 6 crashes in the last race.
If you ever get the chance to go see Arena racing, do it.