Right, soory peeps, you mised it, scottish_dark_hawk and Sci have nabbed the only spaces i had! but well done them, catch ya all soon, will have some more places open soon, but when?
WHEN???!!!!
LOLZ!

Scottish_dark_hawk beat you guys to the first one, argue amongst yourselves for the last one!

Right, i'm depressed, and suicidal, (if you hadn't noticed, NEVER become a counciller, you'll fail!) anyway, seeing as my lifelong ability to ignore emotions i deem unpleasent, (anything other than sublimely happy) is currently righting itself, i'm gonna be keeping myself busy, well, busier (i have thriteen projects on the go!) so i'm opening art trades. Whoever, whatever, i don't care, i want two of you to give me something to do, and hopefully, it will turn out good! Thankyous to everyone who has sent love and hugs, it's helped, i promise, so thankyou to all of you. Huggles back! xx

I know the truth, i hope you can learn it, all of you, but i don't wish the truth on you, you'll go mad, i did, i'm not entirely sure i came back fully, but i know. I've known for so long. Part of me wishes i didn't know, that i'd never been told, but i would not be me without that knowledge, so guess your riddles, play your games, i know, i already know.

Right, the thin pathetic veil of hope i had, the one that kept me alive, has just been ripped away from me, burnt in front of my eyes and poked into the knife wound in my back. Shockingly commisions and art trades will be put back further, i can't really face doing anything, and i HAVE to go to fucking work, when all i wanna do is succeed where i failed so many times before. I just want to die, it would be so easy, and all i'd have to show for it would be being stuck in a different limbo from this one. Wherever i go i'll be being fucked over, abused and used, left for the vultures and spat on.

ok, updates, so everyday is pain, and i kow it sounds all emo, but i don't really care, if i didn't have emotions i wouldn't be...well..me, so bollocks! anyway, am trying, am gonna be gettin the artworks again, am tryin! but, as i said before, i'll be opening slots for commisions soon, but will only be three slots, so will let y'all know, and you can all get beat eachother technologically senseless to get there first!

Right, so, i have this old guy in my family, ted taylor, apparetnly he did a song with a band called the ted taylor four, the song was dr terror's house of horrors. trying to find it, as wanting a family halloween this year, figure it will be a good family get-together thing, nice not to be trying to kill each other for once! anyway, thinking it may have been on a parlophone record, (i know, way back!) probably around 1965! any help will be greatly appreciated! thanklies guys, huggles to all! x

Right, well, i'm back from renewal, had food poisoning on the first three days, got a chest infection and flu on the last two days, nearly got raped in the middle, but still tried to have a good time! Mostly succeeded, but never mind, can't have it all my own way, oh, wait, i didn't get it ANY of my own way, ach, well, beck to the drawing board! speaking of which, i will be opening commisions soon, only going to open three slots though, will post another when i've got parts of my life back under control! huggles to you all. x

right, i'm off to renewal at the weekend, not that it matters, because i haven't had time to do anything so no-one will notice anyway!!! Am gonna try and get back into my work whe i get back, but shitting myself, will be seeing the ex, the one i still love, and i know still loves me, but he's on a whole self-discovery thing, so can't do anything, so it hurts, yeah, THAT ex!! wish me luck, not that i need it,i am having a confident day, which will probably vanish the second i get in my car!! catch ya next week peeps. x

Hey peeps, right, i've never asked anything from you guys before, but i wanna ask you a favor! My lovely friend Mushypea is in need of some assistance. As we know he's been feeling kinda shitty this year, and i wanna give hima treat, he wants to go to electrocat, i think it would be a fantastic 'yay, you're better' pressie if we could help him out. Please guys, commision him, donate anything, i'm sure he'd do the same for you guys if he could, or at least try. Thanklies in advance! Huggles. xx

I know who i'd share all those with, i know who i'd stare at the sunset, finally being happy to be alive. I finally know who i want to be there with, who i would walk a thousand miles for, who i would give up my last drop of blood, my soul, everything for. Love is realising that life is not fair, that although you kow things, you will never be there to enjoy iy, only when the last tear has soaked your skin, only when the stars have listened to your heartbeat will the world realise what you would give, and by then, it's too late. Don't bother loving, it wastes time, effort and causes more heartache than anything else. On the other hand, it's fucking lovely(hence LOVEly!) and makes the tears worth while, it gives you a reason to, not only not want to die, but a reason to live as well. Love those you hold dear, love thosae who love you, and always remember, you only live once, that you can remember, enjoy it.
I love you.

Someone, somewhere loves you. They always will. If ever you feel dark, alone, lost or afraid, remember, they love you, for no other reason than you are you. I love those i can, i will always have special places, some are more special than others, but love is what is missing from so many people. Love, and be loved, never be afraid to live, love and learn. I love you.

well my brain makes as much sense as it usually does, excet now it's dragging the rest of me with it, never mind, eh? it turns out, it's a hell of a lot harder to get struck by lightening than it seems...

well, as most of you know, i've spent the last few weeks writing, and rewriting my 'i'm bored with all this shit' note. my plans haven't been going so good, hence me writing this, well, duh! anyway, it turns out that one of the side effects of St Johns Wort (for reynauds syndromw) is also a mild anti-depressant, it's helping a little, but it has a down-side. When mixed with vodka, (one of my tipple's of choice) it acts as a hallucinagen as well. (recent studies have roved it may just be me, or 60 hours sleep in 6 weeks!) but either way, the frogs on the ceiling are doing well, the cars i don't see often don't drive into me, and the ones i do see, are polite enough not to be there when i look again.. YAY HERBAL HAPPY PILLS!! or back to the therapist, maybe! or maybe not...
Dear all, bored with this shit...

Hope he's finally at rest, somewhere people can't use him for whatever they never got from life. Hope he's finally at peace. R.I.P. ok, gonna sound wierd, but votes for naming a constellation or a star for him? hear me out, show me someone in the world who hasn't heard and enjoyed at least one Micheal Jackson song. Show me someone who didn't hear at least one of his hits, can you? no, didn't think so! Come on people, or rather, furs, scaleys, avians, reptiles and dragons, be you covered in feathers, fur, scales or other, lets have a show of claws, talons and paws. Anyone agree, maybe a star you can see most of the year round, or at least tag his name on the end of a star name? work with me here!
Huggles. to all, thankyou for reading.
xxx

It's official, i've gone a bit bursar. The pain isn't getting better, it's getting worse, i've slept thirty hours in the ast two and a half weeks, i've lost a stone, (apparently weighing nine stone at six feet tall is bad) i don't want to eat, and now i've started going crazy. I'm going to new york soon, keep your fingers crossed please people, maybe the plane will crash, and there will be only one fatality.

i've done a few things in this life, well, quite a few things really, and i have a lot of memories of other lives. In this life, i have lived as best as i can, i have loved, been loved and seen love. I have also seen hatred, felt it, tried not to feel it in myself. My birthdays have been and gone, my life has rushed me by. I have ssen things, done things that no-one should see or do. I've helped others, stood by them through as much as i could.
Then something amazing happened, i felt true love, tasted it, heard it, smelled it, never wanted to let it go and had it returned. but i lost it. It was taken from me, i would go through everything all over again to have it back. It wasn't even anything i did wrong, and the pain is getting worse every day, it doesn't get better, it doesn't get easier. But i have hope, however slim it may be, i have hold of hope, and i won't let it go. Until the adventure calls.

well, the time has come again, for me to defy age, and refuse to go above 21 (have been 21 for about 4 years!!) so prepare yourselves, i will be putting pictures up, so i apologise if i accomplish to offend anyone with them!! catch ya soon peeps. Huggles to everyone!!

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! OMG! i acxtually just fell off my chair laughing at some r'tard on youtube. Seriously, ok, check this out, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fqm5IZAAaPE
this girl/boy/indefiably sexed asshole (i've got no problem with cross-dressers, some of my best friends are, but i took an instant dislike to this one!) is a riot. aparently it's christian, but it bleats on about hate. hummmmm, is just amusing to see it's desperate attempts at rationalising it's hatred of everything but itself. thought i'd better tell someone before i laughed myself to death.

Right, that's it, am i the only one who can't seem to find a fursuit company that doesn't send me to america? or a loan company? or to some random page filled with confusion? getting fed up with this! please help peeps, need websites, looking at prices and stuff at the moment, can't afford right now, but need to know what i'm saving for. I like mine, but apparently...no, i won't go there, i can't be arsed, anyway, help please!!

I have the greatest new icon in the world!!! Great big thanklies to LeoPreston, this is fantastic! big hugs to the world!!!
THANKYOU!!!!!
xxx

everyone would be happy, if i ruled the world. I like most of you, even the ones i haven't met, so i suppose i'll either let you live in my utopic existance, or if you choose, i'll make your death quick and painless!!! muahahaha, i shall be queen, and i have my king, hummm, maybe should cut back on the sugar!!

well, the title says it all really, doesn't it? i get angry, i have massive anger issues, i tend to keep it all hidden away, but everynow and agin, it escapes, carrying me with it, and i get left with the damage control, i hate it, and i'm getting angry now, why can't it go the way i really really want, sometimes, it has once or twice, but there is that bugbear again, why can't i have it my way, or rather, i don't know how i want it, so i guess i'll just have to settle for it this way. argh, cryptic journals piss me off! sorry guys, i's done now. xx

They say there is no justice in the world, they also say that when one door closes, another opens. Both are true. For those who saw my journal yesterday you'll know that i was hasin a major-league sad, this has dimmed. He is at peace,and time passes, healin things as it goes. But to put a cheerier note on things, a bad thing happened two years ago this week, put me on edge of sanity, time has just caught up with him, he will be punished, and this time, he won't get away with it. Justice favors the right, sometimes!

Today i found out an old friend of mine i haven't seen in ages, died this week. He was 61, and died from a blood clot in his heart in his sleep. He was also not found for 5 days, and has no family. He was great, and he mnade me feel like a person, not a customer in his pub. RIP, krusty, i'll have a oink WKD for you! x On top of all that i have people tellin me their life is terrible, true, bad things happen, and this seems kinda hypocritical, but i just don't care about ill-fitting shoes, or friends calling them names when i'm sat in my car, balling my eyes out. There are more important things, there is life and there is no justice. so if i'm short with anyone i apologise. On a side note, people who know me will know that for the neaxt week or so, i possibly won't be here, or i may be no-where but, bear with me, when feburary is done, i will inflict my terrible art on you once again! Blessings to you all, may your dreams live and fears die, never forget your friends, always remember, if life was easy, everyone would be doing it.
xx