Just looking for commissions to do. Really in the mood to draw horses, deer or some other large herbivore. But I'll draw anything. Just don't have any good ideas atm.

$40 standard, more for backgrounds and other things.

Currently I'm awake listening to saws and shredders as my new neighbors from New York have a tree cut down, the last big tree on the street except for one other house. Such is the state of the American suburb that trees are only considered a nuisance. Even outside of the environmental impact, it gets hot as hell here during summer, so having no shade really is a quality of life issue. By mid summer all the lawns will be brown and you'll see almost nobody out walking anymore. The cherry blossoms at the other end of the street don't bloom anymore, and there is no more huge white pine to climb like a ladder in my neighbor's yard. No more elms on the corner lot, or majestic oaks across from them. My neighbor to the left tore out all their shrubs and hedges the first change they got.

If I could've moved out I would have already. I hate living here. I'm never relaxed, never content, always expecting the worst if it hasn't happened already. All I want is to just live near woods. The things people create can not match the beauty and grounding effect of nature. Especially now, when creating things of beauty is such a rarity.

Depression has been really bad and I've been very tired lately as well, which is why I haven't been as talkative. Probably is seasonal. Don't know for sure. I like the cold, leaf-bare trees, and snow. So it's up in the air I guess.

Posting this because I'm going to be buying a tablet, but there are so many on Amazon to choose from. So I'm a bit lost. Just looking for a tablet with a decent-sized built-in screen so I can draw directly onto it, and for a reasonable price. Something that is self-contained, with internet, so I can post pictures directly from it.

I'm also toying with the idea of just buying a tablet pc, or possibly buying a second monitor that has a touch screen to hook up to my computer. Though I'd prefer something with a matte textured screen to make drawing easier and reduce glare. So not entirely sure if that'll work

It tell ya, its funny when every so often you get that message on FA "You cannot favorite an item from a user who has blocked you". Kicker is I've never even heard of the artist, let alone met or talked to them. So best guess is they blocked me due to my more controversial views, which I used to write about occasionally on issues I deemed important. And if that is the case how much of a snowflake must you be to block people you've never even met just because their views offend you?

This is a case where I practice what I preach. I've never blocked anyone based on their views and to this day my block list remains empty.

Anyway that's just a thought. For all I know this block could be a fluke of FA or someone writing down a name wrong.

I should have written this awhile ago, but don't be offended by me being quiet on any messenger. I'm a quiet person to begin with, and coupled with my crippling social anxiety that creates a great deal of unintentional self-isolation. I'm also very easily distracted, so if I fail to respond please don't be offended. I probably forgot or didn't know how to respond. I forget important things irl as well. It's not something I can prevent, especially with having to be on three different messengers, an email, and at least three sites with personal messages.

That being said don't be afraid to talk. I'm on telegram, discord and skype

Just let me know what you want and I'll quote you a price. NSFW is fine

I want Kayko to be impoverished, but strong. Beaten down, but full of hope. Despite a rough life he still sees the positive in people. When he's not fighting to save lives he's often fighting his own demons. Depression, loneliness, isolation. He's an outcast in his world, but he doesn't hate anyone around him for it.

Kayko is from a rust belt industrial town in eastern Pennsylvania, lived for a few years in a prosperous city out west only to see that city destroyed, and fled back to the place of his birth with his mother and stepfather. And as the threat of destruction inches ever closer he discovers a power, a power that can help him defend the innocent from being destroyed. And must mature and discipline himself quickly if he's going to use it for good.

I kinda want to make Kayko an average Wolf in his regular form, and he gets the scales, horns and wings in his superhero form. Sort of like a kaiju version of a wolf anthro. He'd become larger and more muscular, maybe his eye color would just. Just really like the idea, and that could justify his dragon attributes.

My dad swears he saw our cat the other day, running out the back door as he was going out back. She always was an escape artist, trying to get out the front and back doors at every given opportunity.

Its weird when you lose a pet, especially when you've had them a long time. We had that cat for 16 years. Though she was a family pet she bonded more to me and effectively became my cat. She used to rub her head on my nose, lay on my lap, and sleep on my legs at night. She's been gone for months, but I keep expecting her to be standing there when I turn a corner or walking down the basement steps. Sometimes I mistake objects for her when I see them out of the corner of my eye.
She was in pain and would cry every night in the saddest sound I'd ever heard. Because of her failing health I wasn't that upset when we made the decision to put her down. Doesn't mean I don't miss her though.

Assuming we were still gonna go with the plot of finding Luke in episode 7 it would've been really cool had he gone into hiding specifically to prevent the extinction of the Jedi, and that he'd been spending decades training new Jedi in secret after Kylo had destroyed his temple. Thus finding him would make much more sense since the resistance would have the potential of having other jedis fight on their side. Just makes me realize once again how much potential these new movies had, and how much that potential was squandered.

Gotta love how pissing off social media essentially means being scrubbed from online history. Once upon a time they were afraid to ban and censor speech. The advent of the world wide web in the 1980's held the promise of a new era of free speech, unhindered by either the US government or by media companies that controlled the news channels. And for a few decades that was the case. It only really started changing in the early days of social media.

The social media giants of today talk to one another. Twitter, Facebook, and Youtube specifically. Banning and censorship used to be reserved for blatant harassment or things like pornography and gore. Now they use it to ban videos with views they don't like. If you're a well-known content creator and you're banned on youtube its more than likely you'll find you've been preemptively banned on Facebook as well. Twitter is even worse. And if that isn't the case it won't be long before you are.

This is the very reason the US government banned utilities like the phone companies from discriminating against their customers decades ago.

I don't think I say it enough, but I really appreciate everyone who watches me, enjoys my art, and especially my friends. You guys help make life worth living. Seeing that people enjoy what I post is my main drive to continue my art. Despite how much I complain and talk about my depression, I do want to make people happy. And when I deviate from that goal its only to be truthful and honest. I want to see things improve, both for me and for everyone else, including society as a whole.

Just been bored and depressed, and sick of censorship. Any suggestions for a non-PC, preferably non-liberal group.

It started out in a suburban area not too different from where I live. Townhouses, apartments and suburban sprawl. In the dream I was just out for a walk, as I'm prone to do irl, and all of a sudden in a field surrounded by apartments I see these people dressed in very realistic fursuits "Not uncanny valley, very well-made, well-fitted fursuits of various animals". They're towards the top of a small hill that takes quite a bit of effort to climb. And I'm excited to see these beautifully made fursuits, but as I get closer their numbers dwindle until they've all disappeared. Nearby though, on an apartment balcony, I see a person I know irl. Not a furry I'm fond of or dislike, just someone I'm ambivalent toward. I talk to them and they tell me it was some event that'd just ended. And they offer to help me find the people that'd attended the event. And we search all over this suburban apartment complex, which was both massive and maze-like. Even checking in freshly abandoned apartments.

Towards the end it takes this odd nerve-racking tone where I'm running through still-occupied apartments as I attempt to avoid their owners, getting cornered, then finding some other weird exit door to a hall, balcony or another apartment.

Sometimes it seems like when you get a dog, training yourself is nearly as important as training the dog.

I used to love hiking White Clay Creek, looking for ruins and foundations, enjoying nature. But I've found that impossible as of late because everywhere I look I see brush or vines that've been cut down. Along every trail, in every corner of the park. Instead of undisturbed viney woodlands and the dense tall thickets I grew up with I see nothing but wide open forest floor. Littered with the remains of cut up plant life.
They try to justify this activity by calling these plants invasives. But removing them has destroyed much habitat as well as flowers bees and insects will feed on. Nothing grows in their place. Its too shady. And its impossible to remove the non-native plants. So they just end up cutting them down year after year, leaving nothing for animals to feed on and live in.
The forest is too shady for anything else to grow in the place of these bushes, and nothing else can grow there without being trampled as the non0-natives are cut year after year.
How long before I can enjoy my woods again, the way it used to be? Things hidden by dense thickets, long gnarled wild grape vines reaching to the tree tops. I won't be renewing my park pass this year.

I got a "first offense" for accidentally mislabeling a few mature art pieces as general. And its made me kinda paranoid about what FA considers appropriate for general audiences. So, keen to not have my account banned, I went through to see if there was anything else I could get in trouble for. So if you find you suddenly can't find certain pieces under the SFW setting you know why.

One of the pics was this one, which doesn't even feature genitalia: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/24443080/ No idea why they found it suitable to label that one mature...

https://www.oldhouseonline.com/hous.....-lustron-house

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lustron_house

These houses were prefabricated and built of metal panels to help fill the housing shortage after World War Two.

I'm writing this as a result of one of my favorite videos on youtube being put in limited state due to some folks deeming it offensive content. But offensive humor exists for a reason. That is it serves the same purpose as any other form of humor, to break down anxiety. That is if we can laugh at our own faults, as well as events deemed too taboo to joke about we can create a climate of ease and reduce tension.

One of the best ways to control people is fear and anxiety. Its often said that the thing a dictator hates the most is the sound of laughter, because that is the moment they lose absolute control. And with our current climate of outrage, where it is so easy to offend, now is not the time to crack down on edgy humor.

Humor has its place obviously. You wouldn't crack an offensive joke at a funeral, church, or memorial service. But when you must go out of your way to find that humor on a website that was once a pillar of free speech, and the perpetually offended go out of their way to take down said video, you have a problem.

People must be allowed to speak their mind, to make a simple joke. Its part of being human

A friend and I were at a pet store earlier looking at the animals, and they had a big beautiful red Macaw there. Having a cat at the moment I can't really have a bird in the house or she'll go after it. So I was just browsing. Also the Macaw was 6 grand....

Anyway I was bored so I was looking up the types of birds that make good pets hoping to find something native to north America. No luck. All I found were finches. I keep searching, but finally give up and just search for one of my favorite birds, the crow. Find out you need a license, a federal license no less, to own one. Same with Ravens. At this point I'm thinking maybe its just some weird fluke. So I go for a garbage tier bird, the seagull. Surely the federal government could care less if somebody kept one of them. But nope, the law covers every wild bird, even the trash tier ones.

Not that the law ever stopped people from keeping wild birds. A great uncle of mine once had a Robin as a pet after he nursed it back to health and it wouldn't leave him. Used to sit on his shoulder when he'd go to auctions. It was once pretty common in the US to keep Cardinals and Orioles as pets, and you had the odd person with a Crow or Raven. Tropical birds, by comparison, were completely unheard of.

So why is this the case now? And are there any medium sized(Larger than a finch, but smaller than a parrot) north American birds you can legally own without having to go the extra mile for a license? I believe its legal to have a pet pigeon, but as far as I know they're not a native species.

Well two weird dreams to be precise.

The first involved some kind of dumb "Ride", if you could call it that. Basically the ride involved diving into a trail of recyclables down a hill, naked. The first one being broken glass, then plastic, then cans. In the dream it was some kind of illegal thrill ride. So I go down it several times(somehow not get cut to shreds). Its really fun in the dream. There's also all kinds of fountains and water features on the hill nearby. Later on in the dream I have to witness it all getting cleaned up and the water features drained, and I remember being annoyed about it. Though oddly there was another hill that people had slipped and fallen down many times(Just like the thrill ride it apparently wasn't all that dangerous though). But many had lost their wallets over the years and as the hill was being cleaned up I kept finding them, and being very happy because some of the bills in them were antiques. But then some were counterfeits as well. I woke up shortly after.

The second dream involved a short school bus trip two hours away. For some reason it took us to a thrift shop in a desolate industrial wasteland. And we snuck in basically to spend the night. We weren't supposed to go to certain sections of the store, upstairs being one, but we eventually sneaked into them. We couldn't turn on the lights because of the cameras seeing us. But we horsed around and had fun and basically annoyed our chaperones. I remember going to sleep and then waking up in the very early morning only to notice everyone had left and I was alone watching the bus pull out of the parking lot through the front doors. I manage to run out the doors and jump in front of it though, stopping it. And remember thinking to myself in a very cocky way "So you thought you could leave me that easily". Anyway I get back on the bus and we start supposedly heading home, on some of the craziest and most unsafe spaghetti tangles of highway on and off ramps you've ever seen. And this is where it gets weirder.
I notice the scenery is starting to look different from what it did in our our area, plus the fact the bus trip is taking far longer. And I ask what's going on? And the chaperones running the class trip respond back, its not a big deal, we just took a short side trip..........to Russia.
Also Russia looks nothing like Russia, more like Manhattan, but very spread out. We end up in this tangle of highways built over an absolute cesspit of a river, full of old rotten wood and algae. Even in the dream I could smell it. So we get to the train station because now we're taking a train, and the bus driver drives straight through the ticket area, a little hallway between a ticket booth and the station, and somehow the bus fits fine. After a few more we arrive at the counter, and have to sign in. This is where the only furry encounter in the entire dream happens, as some people have signed in the ledger with a head shot of a fursona instead. I sign my name in the wrong spot because I can't make out the printed names, and then we all get on the train.
The train is open top and begins to travel underneath the highway and above the river. It starts out relatively normal. But the train engineer informs us this is the old rout Nazi death camp victims took, and the train route is kept open in honor of them. To the left of the tracks I start noticing random abandoned buildings. Then I start pointing out flak towers from WW2 to my classmates on the train(Flak towers were built in Berlin btw, not Russia). Anyway, it gets crazier from there. I notice the train is becoming more unpredictable. We start going back into the canyon that is the highway over the nasty river, over tracks that are really lumpy. I also notice weird things in the darkness. I can barely make out the bodies of giant sized chickens, either their heads or feet poking out from the darkness. The train becomes more like a rollercoaster at this point, going up steep sections of train that would be impossible for a train to climb in real life.The train even manages to cross sections of track that are missing. Though eventually the whole thing ends up in the sludge of the river and we get covered in nasty water and river slime.

And that's it. There was one I had before these two, but it was just about my old neighborhood.

Well its all complete and seems to be working as intended. Graphics card seemed to solve the problem. All I have left to do is to install an operating system

I've always prefered desktop PC's to laptops, and after my newest laptop died I decided for the first time ever to build my own desktop PC. This decision mainly came from the fact I wanted a computer that could easily run games, as I really like to mod them, as well as support better programs for my photography hobby. Not only that but I wanted the freedom to be able to change out parts and add them in if I want more memory or better graphics. Even my last laptop, a high end ASUS struggled to run Skyrim, crashing frequently even before I modded it. And I know for a fact it'd never run on the ancient HP I'm using now.

So anyway I'm having issues with the display. Nothing's coming up. The computer seems to boot up. I hear the hard drive working. All the LED's on the motherboard light up. I've had it apart and reassembled several times now. And that's made no difference. I've tried several fixes, including switching around the memory. But I'm still getting nothing. I've narrowed it down to either my motherboard or CPU. And I'm thinking its the motherboard since that is the more complicated part, and from what people have said is the most likely thing to go wrong. Plus I accidentally struck it pretty hard with a screwdriver during assembly. But before I go and exchange the motherboard I was curious if anybody had any tips or suggestions for getting this thing working?

I put the build together on PC part picker, so as far as I know everything is compatible. I was even careful to buy parts with a very positive rating.

Funny Story

I got an ad on youtube. The scenery was San Francisco just after the 1901 earthquake. I was watching it muted, and was thinking the scenery looked fantastic. Best scenery and best looking actors I've seen in awhile. All period dressed and such.
So as it ends I get excited. Like when's this movie coming out!? It looks really good!

It was a Wells Fargo bank commercial.....

Think about that for a moment. A commercial for a bank without sound had better scenery and acting than most movies I've seen in the past few years, to the point I was excited to see it. I think that says everything about the modern film industry.

Something that's been bothering me about our local bowling meets, well several things actually. And its been on my mind since the last meet I attended. Is the lack of diversity at these meets. I'm not talking racial diversity, but that of political views, opinions, and I'd wager to bet sexuality. Its no secret that the furry community as a whole tends to lean heavily towards one side of the political spectrum. I'm pretty sure everyone on here knows that. But it seems lately that has been put into practice more so than it used to be. While only a handful of people have been banned for their views, many more have stopped attending due to the clique-y nature of it. And the people in the clique all are very much of the same views and sexuality.

Most of the people I used to love talking to no longer go, and its no fun talking to people who can unanimously agree on everything, especially when you fundamentally disagree with them. You start feeling like an outsider in the very subculture you used to love. Last few times I went I was sitting silently or talked to the friends I came with most of the time. This time I was bored enough I left and drove around for an hour in the neighborhoods surrounding the bowling alley, only returning to drive my friends home when the meet ended.

Politics come up constantly in conversations with some of these people and I do my best to ignore when my views are unknowingly mocked by other attendees. Any attempt to reason or debate ends in arguments and even broken friendships. That is the worst part I think. I do my best to never bring up politics, yet it comes up anyway, and there is no room for "well I agree with you on this". So I have to keep my mouth shut and take it. I love debating my brother, for instance, because he is Libertarian and we disagree on many things. Yet our debates rarely end in argument, and he's willing to learn from me sometimes, just as I'm willing to learn from him. Its just friendly banter.

I don't like the safe space mentality. I miss the days when there were attendees at our local bowling meets who were scorned by other furries. But since they'd done nothing wrong you had to tolerate them, like it or not. It felt like freedom. And it was a much richer atmosphere because of it.