You heard that right.

I'm DONE with not-twitter. For multiple reasons.

It wasn't even that hard of choice. Don't regret loosing all those years of posts...maybe the favs and comments but. I'm sorry, I could support that site anymore nor wanted my stuff used for their promotions and AI crap.

But I have been steadily posting on my Bluesky account. So anyone that followed me on Not-Twitter; if you can you can keep up with my posts and announcements here: https://bsky.app/profile/timidtabby.bsky.social

Granted...the next few posts this week will probably be me extremely disappointed at a specific event that just ended. I will try to post some positive things when I can, but.

...to be honest. I'm full of hate right now and I'm ready to unlease Godzilla Atomic Breath on the next idiot that pisses me off.

Sorry.

But please; despite my rage and disappointment, please take care of yourself in this uncertain times. It didn't go the way I thought it should have and my faith in people had declined significantly. But to the good peeps out there...stay well.

We still alive here? A bit hairy stuff that went on this month. Sucks; hope those affected are doing well and condolences to those who have since lost friends and family over the years, including the founder of this website. Surreal stuff.

So...what the hell have I've been doing?

Sorry to say, not much. Nothing much really changed about my drive and emotional conditional since the last main Journal I wrote. No success in continuing my main werewolf series(es). I've written but I'm not sure I'm ready to share, or want to share. I haven't really sketched in a long time and afraid nothing is going to come out well. I'm...trying to get creative again, but the opportunities that are afforded to me are rare and motivation can get sucked out if anything little thing pops up to damper my mood or pull me away just when I'm ready to work.

And...on a personal note...
...I lost my dad last year. Surprisingly never dealt with COVID, but he did have bad COPD that was just getting worse, and didn't help that he dealt with some other medical complications throughout the COVID lockdown. I...honestly thought that as long as he got enough rest and if the docs could actually figure out some of those complications that was making it difficult to treat he could regain some measure of his life back. That sadly never happened...and the shock of the night he passed devastated the family and I.

We are trying to figure out what to do with the house right now. We can't keep living here since it's too large for just two people (about to be 3 as we are taking in an Uncle that can't afford to stay at his own house anymore...and has similar issues my dad had) and it's been falling apart that we can't keep sinking more repair costs just to make the damn thing look better to sell. IDK. My mom has been apartment/house shopping so we have some ideas coming in. And with my uncle we can at least help with some rent money for mom. I wish this wouldn't be a problem for me, let alone be able to move out for myself (which mom supports; she was more afraid I was staying with her for her sake), but this fucking housing economy is still in the shitter that no matter how much more money I am finally making it's never going to be enough to afford rent for most of this seemingly cheap apartments plus be able to actually...you know...LIVE. *snarls angrily*

...sigh...anyways...

I'm fairing. I had be promoted in my job but I had to turn it down and step back to part-time after 6-7 months. The increase in various responsibilities on top of newer procedures and just getting overwhelmed and the store cutting hours and not giving me enough coverage to help me do our fucking jobs, plus my mental and emotional state from my dad's passing and friend's going through their own depressions and trying to help my mom out with cleaning out the house (including one of our bathroom's blowing up from a snaking incident)...I was starting to have a bunch of breakdowns where I couldn't eat or drink anything in the morning, felt sick to the put of actually throwing up before heading to work, and just...just...

It was a nightmare. Still is but now it's a bit more tolerable having some weight lifted off my shoulders, and knowing my family supported my demotion and looking out for me.

So for now; I'm just doing my best to keep moving on and prepare for the future; whatever that is going to be.

Also; been trying to build my YouTube channel a bit. Mostly prerecords of various playthroughs with buddies. Lots of Elden Ring right now since my buddy and I finally beat the main game, and then jumped onto the DLC. Might be a small break when the videos run out due to personal stuff with my friend, but hoping to continue onward soon. Also need to really REALLY finish some series I started and haven't finished. Was really hoping my Tunic videos would be a little more...decent...but what evs (the last episode is my triumphant for some of its biggest puzzles).

I...make...no promises that I'm coming back with art and stories soon. I want to...but family and work and friends will come first.

If anything posts, just note.
...I'm going through my wolf phase right now. I might bite ~grrrr~

Anywho; just thought I finally update this damn thing and show I am alive to any of you all out there still reading these bits, still looking and reading at my old art and stories, and...well...cares. And I'm sorry to those hear I used to talk to often that I haven't spoken to in since my hiatus. I don't like using this excuse but...I'm an introvert, and it takes a lot...A LOT...to get me out of my shell. I hope everyone is doing alright in these trying times and wish you all better days.

Laters.

AWWWooooooooo!

I'm sorry that my first journal in the last year or two will feel like crowdfunding spamming...but I'm seriously scared for someone I care about right now.

If you can, please watch and share this journal:
https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/10708243/

And if you also can, please share his campaign (or even maybe donate):
https://gofund.me/71a4866a

Time is really running out.

This is all I am capable of doing. I've been sharing his campaign on my Twitter, on Bluesky, and recently in a reddit post. I've been sharing it in my YouTube videos. I've donated what I was responsibly able to do.

I just want some kind of miracle to finally happen for him and his partner. 13+ years of this crap is too much. I want this to stop. But I don't want it to stop on a cruel bad ending.

If anyone is capable of helping in some way...thank you.
If you can't...I understand. I know it's a lot to ask from a cat that has been mostly silent and empty for the last few years.

Yep. This identity crisis work stressed absent-minded procrastinating mess of a cat is still alive. And wanted to take the time to wish everyone a Merry Xmas and a Happy New Year. Hope all are doing well and staying safe and warm this winter holiday. I know that may not be the case for some but hang in there. A new decade is upon us, and as long as a certain someone is finally kicked out of office the opportunities are opened for better days.

Well...I know that's not completely true

Still, here's hoping the new year and decade brings a bit more joy, relief, triumphs...and more damn posts already. My gallery has been dead for a while now and I hate it >__<

Hey FA. Welcome back to the world. Hope it last's long.

I have some art coming your way soon as I've been trying to get some more practice out of my tablet. But more on that later.

RIght now; I wanted to help share a friend's message to as many people that are willing to take a look. My buddy hit a nasty bind this month thanks to a series of unfortunate events and needs some help getting by this month and possibly the next until he is healed enough to get back to work. Simply sharing this message is great enough. Link to his journal below.

Thanks for listening and hope everyone is getting by well this summer. Take care.

https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/9208595/

Hey FA,

Thought I give a short summary of why posting has been slim these days.
I haven't given up on writing and drawing, but at the moment I just haven't had any real time or passion to get back into it. Kind of bum I don't have any energy to do so as I promised myself I'd finally get Howl: Book 1 done before the end of the year and I just bought a Tablet I love but haven't really used since the few posts before. I guess I'm still trapped in this state of mind where I still feel inadequate forgettable with my works and even trying to push forward feels worthless and it amounts to nothing.

Work has also been hectic with busy schedules over tax season and now changes are coming, though it honestly shouldn't be affecting me all that much save for Fridays. Still; as much as I want as much time off to work on my damn projects and relax, my salary doesn't really help me get by while I'm still paying credit card debts that never get any better or bills that I barely manage to pay off in time. I'd ask for help and to keep my Patreon and ko-fi in mind, but that wouldn't feel right with me if I don't show any product or progress to offer. And I'm still very Timid with wanting to take commissions of any kind right since I'd be limited to just Animal/Were TF's of only a few animals or maybe TG...and that's it. I've very Vanilla >__<

I HAVE been gaming a lot more; however. Possibly part of the reason for the lack of work but I supposed a nice thing came from it from becoming a Twitch Affiliate now. Doubt that will help in the funding department but it's been nice to finally conquer a few games or two, new and ones I've been meaning to beat. So in the mean time; if you are interested in watching this silly cat expertly complete or scream in frustration at a few games or two pop on by and maybe subscribe to my Twitch channel here: TimidTabby's Twitch Channel

I've also been doing a decent job back logging all my past video's lately on my YouTube and Twitch page. If you want to check out any past playthroughs I have a few playlists completed, Resident Evil 2 (2019) and Doom (2016) being a few. Also just completed God of War (4) as well. My goal this year is to get through all the past games I started in the past and never finished. Dust: An Elysian Tail is up next, followed by The Last of Us, Spiderman, and Detroit: Become Human. Currently; I'm trying out this fancy Randomizer hack for Super Metroid x Zelda: Link to the Past combo that's gotten some attention lately. Also want to stream Ori and the Blind Forest before the sequel comes out. More to come at that.

But yeah; that's about it for now. Will try to get more shit done before June at least. Until then; I hope everyone had some decent holidays and got through Tax Season unscathed. Hugs to all and take care!

Hey Guys!

Just wanted to announce that I'm going to be starting a CYOA chapter series based off the idea I was doing with my Twitter poll story. I felt like I wanted to do more than just go by the polls and creating multiple paths for anyone to follow their particular tastes in plot twists, whether enjoying my tastes or creating your own. Right now I only just created the intro chapter to the story. I'll be posting more choices and paths down the line and I hope you get a kick out of this experiment. Might even create a second story eventually.

CYOA - The Primal Fascination
A animal transformation story where you are ready to unwind and enjoy a good work of fiction to tease the beast you feel inside, real or not.

Happy holidays all. Love to everyone new and old...and forgiveness to those I haven't been able to keep in touch with.

Hoping the new year will bring many, many changes.

Hey gang.

Trying out something unique for a new story. Still have no clue how I plan to take the plot...but certain elements can be altered by YOUR choices.

I'm writing this on my Twitter page that you can find TimidTabby. The stories will develop as choices from my polls are gathered. Depending on how things turn out I may write out multiple paths in separate posts...but all depending on how well received this project is and how busy I get.

The first page and poll is already up. Here's the page it reads:

"The day winds down and you curl up against the pillows, sheets warming your legs, and begin to browse the internet for your favorite stories. You have a unusual passion for "fluffier" characters...and your in for a more "erotica" presentation. But there are so many to choose."

What sexy bestie are you interested in? Current choices are for wolf, cat, mouse, and fox. You can vote for what beast the character would like to fantasize about. The voting will last until next Sunday (unless I get plenty of one sided votes early on).

I don't want to be older.

And I also don't want to keep wasting time.

Last night I got a bit angry at something that wasn't meant to be offensive (and to be fair I wasn't thinking about how I was accidentally spamming random people) and rage quit my late night stream of Detroit: Become Human leaving a journal entry where I said I was done with the stream and I was sorry bothering people.

I will admit now I don't think really clearly when I'm angry or depressed.

I didn't take into account that a few people that do watch and care about me took my journal entry as more than just a rage quit, and I wanted to clarify now that I'm fine; I'm not going down that path. I am very sorry I scared people into thinking that. I've been feeling very stressed out these days due to finances and my job and upcoming life-changing decisions that I need to make soon that's causing me some anxiety. On top of all that and trying to put effort into running my gamestreams, the more I realize that my streams or uploaded videos doesn't get a lot of exposure after several years start to weigh on my shoulders and I'm starting to consider calling it quits.

Thing is; I'm trying to reaffirm myself that I'm never going to be a big youtuber or twitcher or anything, and that I do my streams for the hell of it and anyone that happened to tune in, that's super. I also need to become better with getting back to work with my other projects and work out a schedule to remain focus on them instead of constantly going on hiatuses. SO I know the problem is on my side than it is on the viewers.

Idk. idk. idk. I'm just sorry.

The second of last night's stream is now uploaded to YouTube. I also figured out a loophole to save my videos on my Twitch Channel too. If you missed out on the gamestream last night and want to catch up and experience the First Cut story I'm creating then check out the video below or my YouTube and/or Twitch page (both named TimidTabby). Still debating whether to continue tonight or tomorrow. More to come so keep an eye out. Until then; take care everyone!

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?li.....WHZITy_s4jZ2SN

So...I nearly decided to quit everything last night.


It would have been my fault of course...and that would have made my depression 10x worse, but thankfully I managed to "bargain" with the tech Gods for the lesser of two evils. To summarize: Windows 10 had an update on my laptop with my current works unsaved to another media. The update failed and keep bringing me options to rollback or system restore and such but nothing NOTHING worked and kept failing and bringing me back to the same screen after another restart.

While it's too soon to celebrate; I nearly had to shell out $80 bucks for a data transfer before using a Installation Flash Drive that would only Reset FULLY without saving my personal files. If all goes well as I type, the loophole I found through Safe Mode (granted after several attempts to get me back to the sign-in screen) gave me the fucking option to Reset saving my files.

So yeah, my writings and scanned drawings for the past several months, including images I've been saving online and music I just burned to transfer to my iPod (along with all the work I've done to organize and format the way I wanted it) should be fine. Because if it was all gone...I don't know if I would have the strength to rewrite or scan or download and upload and organize everything again.

The lesser of two evils however means I have to reinstall all the programs again, but that one I'm willing to deal with. There weren't too many I was using anymore and only a few I'll have to hunt down the CD installations again but otherwise I should be fine on that.

Not that I was working on anything other than gaming and working at the moment, this does mean I'll gonna continue my hiatus of drawing and writing until I make sure all is secure and saved. May also be hard to reach this week too for other reasons. Otherwise; should hopefully get my life back on track soon.

Thanks for reading. I wish you all well.

Hey guys and gals; furs and hoomans!

Just giving a quick update on what's going through this Lycanthropic Cat's head at the moment as we roll right on into the New Year...which has apparently started with a loud bang as the media is concerned (Logan Paul and Bannon vs Trump not withstanding)(...did that even make sense?).

This is year is going to be my final attempt to revitalize myself with being a sub par sketch artists if anything. It's a difficult realization to submit to but unless I can muster some actual focus and determination with trying to improve my artwork (let alone even create some) I just don't know if I should even keep pursuing it as my main media of choice when trying to explore and show my ideas. However; that doesn't mean I'll stop drawing if it comes to it, it just means you should probably expect that side of me to not be as "popping" as it once was back when I started.

With that said; I do plan to indeed get back on the raw beaten horse that is my drawing this year as much as I can and maybe the outcome will be a lot more optimistic than I'm describing it. For starters, Starting January 15th (or sooner) I'll be attempting to sit down at my desk, pull out my pencils and sketchbook, and sketching "something" for at least an hour (more if I have time or energy) and will be posting the results. I'm hoping doing a 1 quick sketch everyday will rise my spirits and desires to keep drawing again while also maybe getting my brain juices flowin' to seeing how I could approve my own novice techniques as well as getting all of these ideas out of my head even if they are just rough sketches. Who knows; perhaps one or two of these I'll like so much that I'll pick a free day to spend more time on it (them) to better complete (maybe even color like I used to). Hell; I'll even let you watchers and viewers help me decide which rough sketch I post you'd most likely would like me to expand/finish into something more complete.

No Guarantees, but just perhaps...

Writing is going to be my main focus this year as I'm very disappointed with the lack of work I've done in the last two years (or three or four >__> ). It's time to resurrect a series or two that needs finishing, along with a few short stories I never got around to finishing even (Wolfhood: Reborn of course part of it but not the main). There is even one particular series I've kept stated I would always get back to but haven't lived up to that promise for almost a decade now but it has always been on my mind and throughout that decade always I have been thinking of scenarios, character bios, and unique endings. This is going to be that FUCKING year this dead horse (or wolf) finally gets its first Book completed...and then I can finally talk about the next ones I've been dying to explore and share with the community.

Here's a small catch though. While certain series and short stories that I've started will maintain the current "Kinky" vibes they were intended with, I want to gradually start pulling back my boundary breaking kinky explicitness in favor of focus less on implied sex and more on emotions of it. Sure I'll still have some weird stories where characters will feel some sexual thrill from their TF's, but I want to start restructuring my focus on telling less erotic scenarios. I'm...not quite sure how I'm going to accomplish that, but that's the plan. I guess the main point is that I want to be able to share my works to a broader audience than just a specific niche group (not that I have any problems with it).

IDK; maybe I'm not wording that right either.

Finally; my earlier plan from an earlier journal entry about what games I want to start streaming is still going to be a thing. Games like The Evil Within 1 and 2, The Last of Us, and so on are still on my list. At this point I have no delusions of become a YouTube star (considering there is a strong possibly YouTube is gonna get axed someday pretty soon if the people behind the platform keep treating it's users and content creators the way they have...let alone allow some to break their own rules and allow it to be acceptable), so anything I stream and post will simply be there for those who wish to see a grown cat be goofy, ragey, or trying to possibly practice being a voice actor.

However; with the exception of one ongoing project I'd like to get back to someday, I've decided I'm not going to be spending time editing my past videos anymore. As you may have noticed (those watching my YouTube page at least) that many of my last couple of vids have not been edited, purely raw footage. I just really don't have the time these days to put in work I'm not really getting paid for (let alone a lot of exposure...though that is mostly my own damn fault). Plus my current software for editing my videos is a gigantic piece of shit that never wants to do what I ask it to do, lags despite using a relatively high-end PC with i7 core processing and 16gb of RAM...and it still crashes on simple edits! (worse when this happens and I was 2 hours into editing having forgotten to save).

But hey; as I've said, if you are interested in seeing how this Cat fares in most gaming you can watch my past streams on YouTube or looking out for announcements on when I stream again.

Also...regarding my art stream...yeah....that's going to stay on hiatus for a while. To be honest; the setup I had sucked. The 720p webcam I had for it was crap and the lighting was always bad no matter where I placed my laps. And I really have no better place in my room or house that would work. I really wish there was some kind of webcam stand or webcam that I could bend and position or something. Until I can afford better equipment or lighting (or until I learn to get good with digital drawing...which means getting a drawing tablet and getting good with that), I'll just be a spectator for other artists and simply keep posting my sketches as normal (see above).

Anywho again; I think that's it for my brain...at least on this topic. Time to ruin myself further with a Star Wars review.

Until next time y'all, stay safe and Happy New Year. (Please be better than 2017 dammit, you are already starting off poorly).

Hey y'all.

Not that I have the funds for this at all, but I was curious if anyone has any suggestions on who or where I could go to inquire in customer Telegram stickers for my fursona(s) and characters. I know of one artist I used to commission for a lot of art is doing stickers but wanted to expand my options first. I don't really know how much something like this costs generally. Any info will help in my future decisions.

Anyways; that's really it for now. Thanks for listening ^__^

Who wants to watch a grown cat rage today? (and also cry)
...and also...MAKE PROGRESS!!!???

The mind fu#$ continues Saturday 6:30pm

The story continues Thursday 5:30pm PST

Part one has ended and I'm exporting my Twitch stream to YouTube now. If you are interested to see how it went and want to play catch up before the next stream feel free to check it out:



Anyways; catch you later.

In regards to my last journal I just deleted (Gamestreaming Schedule)...

Well; that's been cancelled (or at least not today, maybe tomorrow). Work just called me in today so will be cancelling my Monday gamestream. Because of this; if my Dark Souls gaming buddy is able to play tomorrow I'll be making time for him. Don't know when that will be so not sure where I can fit the other gamestream in.

Updates to come. Sorry for those who were going to watch today.

Hey everyone.

Just wanted to wish you all a Happy Turkey Day. Hope you are with family and/or friends and/or loved ones and chowing down on some delicious foods and drinks and such.

And to those that identify with Turkeys...please forgive us :P

Huh...I think I need to move out of California soon, preferably before Summer next year.

I started smelling smoke last night around 10pm, and the smell kept coming after 11:20pm prompting me to take a drive around my town and see if I could hunt down the source by my sniffer and pique my curiosity. I thought it was another house burning down or a small brush fire near the outskirts again, best case scenario just someone close by cooking up their fireplace. I didn't even see any glow or smoke clouds around the hilltops to indicate the horror.

Woke up just before 7am today to hear from my Mother that our county was suddenly on fire. Napa, Sonoma, Clear Lake, Willits, Calistoga, Santa Rosa...

One of my Aunt's and Uncle's lived around the area the fires in Santa Rosa broke out in this morning. Thankfully; they are ok and safe with friends, but their home...

So far my family and friends are safe here in town, and my sister and her family currently aren't in danger from the fires near Clear Lake. But still; it was a jolt to the system to get me prepped for possible evacuation needing to consider what I can stuff into my car and save in the case we really have to evacuate; what I would willingly let go. The thought of loosing our house is one major emotional pain to suffer through, but the fear of all my electronics and art supplies and papers going up in smoke; all my projects I've been slowly but steadily been working on for nearly a decade would destroy me.

But; those are just ideas I can redraw and rewrite one day once I get my spirits back up. As devastating as it would be to have to start from scratch I prefer the safety of my family and friends and I's life.

Still dumbfounded on how this all started. I know it got helluva windy last night causing the embers to spread around the county, but still don't know how the fire started at all. It's been a nightmare, worse for those who are living it directly in those towns right now.

Will try to keep this posted if anything bizarre changes, but hoping the firefighters can combat this wildfire fast. Really don't want to hear my folks waking me up again in the middle of the early morning saying we are evacuating.

To everyone affected by these fires I truly hope you are staying safe. Please take care of yourselves everyone.

https://www.patreon.com/TimidTabby

Yep; I have a Patreon page now, hehe.

*sigh* don't look too much into it though; I'm not ready to try anything cool with rewards or such. It's really just there for any of your peeps who are willing to send a few shellies my way if you like. I won't lie; the only reason I caved into creating a full-fledge one is the hope of some help killing off as much of my debts as I can. Being unable to stay financially afloat even with my current job is starting to bother me and I don't like asking for handouts or donations, which is why nothing is going to be locked behind a paywall at the moment; any new works I make will still be posted here and my other galleries as always.

So...yeah... this probably won't help me much >__>

But if you are interested you can check out my patreon page if you like. I'll update that page too eventually. No big rewards other than the massive thanks to those willing to support my works, even if its just a comment.

Speaking of works; I'll be getting back to drawing soon. Had to take a selfy this past week feeling like crud and work related angst...which will probably be worst dealing with a 3-day full shift with no real support.

Anywho; I wish you all a good day and night for now and please stay safe out there.

https://www.patreon.com/TimidTabby

https://picarto.tv/TimidTabby84

Hey y'all. Gonna art for a few hours before gaming. You are welcome to watch if you like.

https://picarto.tv/TimidTabby84

Hey all.

Thought I give you a update on what's been going on.

Came back from my family vacation at Disneyland. Fun times...wish I was still there (at least at the resort). Back to work...and boy have my hours gone wtf.

On a surprising bit of news...I've decided to start doing art streams :D
I've had an account on Picarto.TV for bit after I started watching a couple of artists from here on FA and elsewhere, and apparently just having an free account lets me do streams. So...fuck it! I want to start streaming my pencil sketches :P

Now I don't have anything concrete at the moment as I'm going through some testing and experimentation. I tested one the other night and Have a current idea of how to setup this danky webcam I have to look down over my paper in a angle that's tolerable. BUT...I'm using my laptop to hang the damn thing and I have to turn it around just to position it right...but I'd like to use the laptop to actually keep an eye on the stream and other crud. So trying to think of something else to hang the webcam off from. Need stand suggestions for overhead stuff.

Also; video quality may not be great and lighting is another issue. And might not have anything good to play in the background like most artist...o____o....

BUT; if anyone feels like wanting to watch me draw, now you know where I stream. You can find me on Picarto.TV under TimidTabby84. I'll do my best to post journal notices of when I start up these things. No concrete schedule as of now as my work schedule will dictate when I'm available. I want to do these at night but might do some during days too.

Anyways; that's all I have to say at the moment. Until then; you all have a good day now. Take care!