Hello again FA.

After another week of work, work, work and stuck in another creative funk as I always have been, I decided to use the free day I had today from work to catch up on some of the latest movies. I wasn't planning on doing any reviews since, well...I don't think a lot of people really read these here on FA, but after the first movie on my list I felt like venting a little. Yep, it's a rant review which has Spoilers galore (So anyone who actually wants to see this film I would turn away after the second Spoiler warning).

Otherwise; I will be attempting to get some real writing done again soon. It's only a matter of which unfinished story I should be focusing on.

Until then; take care everyone.

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…So…I went off the deep end a bit with that one. My personal Bias for these kind of horror movie spirit revenge plot’s can get me flustered way too easily with a fiery passion that I tend to judge the rest of the performance a bit harshly. Mainly; the reason for the villain’s drive to kill certain victims unjustly can paint my eyes nothing but red. After rereading my original review and taking some time to blow off some steam and contemplate I realize I was judging the movie way too harshly…although I still say it isn’t the greatest horror movie. I also feel like kicking myself in the ass for being extremely SPOILERIFIC in my review as I do know there are people that actually do read my journals and have mentioned from time to time to be careful what I say about the plot of certain movies or shows.

So I’m doing a bit of backtracking and retreading and I’m going to act a bit more professional in explaining my reasons for why I don’t think The Gallows is that good of a movie.

Let me clarify the plot once more:

The movie starts off with footage from who I believe to be the Hangman’s parents commenting on how their son, Charlie, is doing a terrific job with the Lead role of the High School play (which happens to be the same name as the movie) when Charlie was originally supposed to have played said Hangman. Unfortunately; the play’s scene of Charlie being prepared to be hung by The Gallow’s goes sour suddenly as the Trapdoor beneath him breaks open while his neck is noosed, the drop (I assume) immediately snapping his neck and killing him in front of live audience (Including his folks and apparently his Girlfriend).

Flash Forward to 2013; the film is recorded mostly by Football Jock Ryan (your typical Obnoxious Asshole character) having volunteered (or forced to participate for failing grades or a need Extra Curriculum Elective to Graduate) as part of the camera crew for the school’s revival of the “The Gallows” play. His buddy Reese (Your main ex-Jock, mostly innocent, hero cliché) is part of the play as the leading man playing beside the leading woman and Drama Club’s heroine that pushed the school to bring back the play Pfeiffer (Your main character’s love interest, destined to either survive to the end as the damsel-in-distress or to be killed off later to motivate the Hero later Role). It’s revealed early on that Reese’s main reason for dropping football and participating in the Play is so he can get to be around his crush and get to kiss the girl, which Ryan goes to his Asshole-lish lengths to divulge this tidbit to Pfeiffer directly. Ryan also happens to be boyfriend/girlfriend with one of the Cheerleaders of their school, Cassidy (the poster-horror-common sexy Blonde that will most likely get the most screen-time of suffering the monsters/spirit’s wrath) who…admittedly, isn’t actually all a horrible character. While she does pretty much become destined to follow the summary I just mentioned, her character isn’t actually all that annoying or useless. Her choice in boyfriend’s though are questionable, but she only commits two selfish/stupid acts throughout the whole movie: One being a minor hiccup, and the other being the next paragraph…

So what events propel these characters to suffer Charlie the Hangman’s wrath? Well…Reese is a horrible actor and Ryan constantly eggs him about it telling him to just drop out and save him the embarrassment of being the next big joke in school ALL for being around/getting to kiss his crush. After a spat with one of the Drama students getting back at Ryan for pretty much being an Asshole, Ryan discovers that one of the backdoor exits of the Auditorium’s locks are broken formulating the proposed hijinks to Reese to come back to school later that night, break in, and demolish the Play’s set pieces so the Gallows would be cancelled and suggestions that Reese can be there for Pfeiffer to console and comfort for the travesty while getting out of being mocked for his eventually poor performance…which Reese reluctantly agrees after some “Real Talk” nagging. Cassidy “glare of displeasure”s Ryan effectively joining in on the apparent night of debauchery.

However; shortly after confirming the broken door and beginning to tear up the sets, they discover that Pfeiffer had somehow noticed Resse’s car and snuck in as well demanding an explanation. As Reese attempts to pull an unconvincing half-truth to his crush, Ryan becomes annoyed at Cassidy’s change of heart trying to fix their mess and wanting to leave immediately. They argue all the way to the exit doors…where it is suddenly locked. The group soon find that all doors within the school are complete locked and that all power and signals are shut off. And worst of all…they begin to realize they are not alone. What results from this night are jumpscare-tactics and moderately decent tension building that will have you questioning how long can any of them survive the night…if any at all.

Now; I will redact my earlier criticism in saying that The Gallows isn’t actually that horrible. It’s no mystery that most Found Footage horror movies are starting to tank or pewter off with the acting in them ranging from ok but not that great…to downright deplorable. For the most part, the actors and actress’s played the movie’s characters relatively well. And as I mentioned earlier; I’m rather surprised the Blonde wasn’t as completely cliché as horror movie tropes go…but there was a hint of flubs and whining here and there that brought her back down to it. So yeah…the acting wasn’t too bad.

I also admit that I did find the multiple camera perspectives an interest use. Unlike most found footage films where the movie attempts to edit each different camera’s perspective as seemly as possible without cutting away or keeping the flow smooth, The Gallows decided to go a different direction. Since Reese and Ryan split at certain parts of the film; when one person with one camera realizes someone has gone missing, we black out and cut away to the missing person going through his or her own ghastly adventure before they eventually met back up. Another use of this was when some event happened off-screen while we were focused on one perspective, and then we soon see the events that occurred thanks to someone having another recording device at the time. Did I make sense at all here??? So I will give credit for the unique take on the Recorded Event’s splicing part; that was somewhat fresh.

Being that this is a Found Footage movie, the crew had to be creative with creating a score. I do feel like they copied Paranormal Activity on this one since most of the first half creepy ghostly moments was followed by a similar crescendo background noise alerting us to the spirit’s presence. Either way, this method did help with the tension building moments that did keep me just a tad bit on the edge of my seat.

Now while I don’t fully agree that Charlie the Hangman can be regarded as the new iconic Slasher to revitalize that type of genre (considering how the movie ends up revealing why he exists), his presence does score some small marks on the chilling aspect. What he actually looks like isn’t all that terrifying, but it’s what little you see of him in the shadows or as a silhouette that helps his freakish factor. Overall; though, I kind of had to laugh when they did close-ups of him and his stitched school-prop mask.

Unfortunately; that’s as much positive criticism I can give this movie. In all honesty; The Gallows does not feel like the Brand New Thing everyone will be talking about and I kind of agree. It’s not really that scary and it does rely too heavily on Jumpscares. And as I mentioned; Charlie himself doesn’t look all that foreboding to me (at least not like Jason or Freddy). It is nice to see some horror films achieve some sense of fright and fear without having to get so gory, but it didn’t really give me that sense of paranoia that other die-hard horror films wish. I can promise you that I’ll still be sleepy soundly tonight (as long as the humidity doesn’t keep me awake). The movie as a whole just felt…eh.

Again; one of the biggest reasons I’m having trouble seeing this film as anything better than what I described is due to a personal pet peeve of mine with certain plot device reasons for the killer’s motivation. This time I won’t spoil the plot again, but let’s just say I can’t stand innocent victims getting offed just because of the…certain…thing…I can’t mention >____< If you’ve seen Dead Silence, there’s my correlation. However; I’ll admit the WHY is a bit more ‘mentally-ill’ disturbing than Dead Silence’s reasons…I think.

Finally; I would like to relist my little Logic-Hole list I made before here as to why extra points are also deterred from my final rating. I might just be thinking way too hard or missing the entire point, but I just felt like these Plot Conveniences hindered the overall effect of the movie. And these aren’t much as Spoilers, they happen twenty minutes into the film ;)

- The Cause of Charlie’s Hanging: Was the wood material Charlie was standing grown so weak that it coincidentally broke right at that moment…or did the Prop Department actually build a working malfunctioning Trapdoor? Don’t you think that was a very VERY bad idea from the start? I get that they would want to try for the realistic approach, but I find it very stupid that a High School Prop Department went to the trouble to create a working trapdoor for the hanging victim to fall into and hang. It just seems way too dangerous and POINT PROVEN in the very movie. Couldn’t they have just added some kind of curtain in-front of the set piece to hide some sort of cushioning device or box to have Charlie land on…or just cut the lights moments before the Hangman character is supposed to pull the lever and add in a Trapdoor swinging/noose tightening sound effect to create the illusion?

- Charlie’s Death: This one I may be stretching as I am aware it IS possible for someone’s neck to snap immediately from the fall…but the stage set was only two feet off the ground (…give or take >___> ) Are they really showing us that Charlie died by having his neck snapped? That’s the only reason that makes sense considering everyone on stage and in the audience looked like they were rushing to get him out of the noose and everyone screaming the heads off.

- The Broken Auditorium Door: This one seriously has me reeling from human stupidity. Why hasn’t the school FIXED those doors if (taking one of the student’s comment to Ryan’s inquire) EVERYONE knows about it for all this time? Is the school seriously out of money to fix two Fucking Doors? Isn’t the school afraid of some Hoodlums breaking in and vandalizing the place OR robbers sneaking in to steal their stuff??? Shouldn’t those doors have been barred or sealed off by now to prevent illegal night entries?????????? This plot device just baffles me a lot; I’m sorry, it just does (just as much as my pet peeve killer’s reasoning for killing).

After taking a moment to calm down and reevaluate this movie, I feel a bit more confident to rate “The Gallows” 2 out of 4 paws, scoring just a tad bit higher 2 than original considered. It’s actually not as bad of a movie as I originally ranted…just not really as iconic and original as the commercial’s boast. I don’t think you should see this at full price though. If anything, wait until it moves to a cheap theater near you…or once it comes out on Netflix or something.

Next time; I’ll be giving you all my thoughts on the latest installment of the Terminator Franchise: “Terminator: Gynesis”. Until then; take care everyone!

Hey FA.

First off, a Happy 4th to those that celebrate the holiday however they see fit. Hope most if not all got the day off today.

I wish I could have more to talk about today, but...I'm still stuck in the same old rut I've been stuck in for half a year now -___- I have tried writing here and there, but honestly I think I've hit my limit for creative plots. Either they come out like something that's already been done before, like something that may be too extreme even for my tastes, or...BLAH!!! I end up writing maybe half a page to a full before I give up and delete the piece of...poop.

I thinking about going back to my old plan and going over my older works and proofread them so they feel finalized. I'd like to see if any of my old stories would be worthwhile to have published in...something...that tolerates animal/werewolf TF/Erotica stories (like who would publish things like that :\ ).

I could return to working on Wolfhood: Reborn again since I'm still stuck on Chapter 4...and 5 if I split the next one up in half or something.

*sigh* ...I'll stop announcing empty promises here and just let you fine folks get back to your day. If I'm being too pessimistic for my own good its because I'm poor and feeling mentally unstable for some reason.

...>___>....yeah, I'll just end it here. Have a good holiday everyo...*A loud firework explodes, yowls and darts hastily into a hidy-hole*

Just a heads up for those I've been trying to stay in touch with; I will be away from the main computer over the weekend. I have no guarantees I will be able to respond back to anyone for the next two days.

Tomorrow (Saturday 6/6); I'm having family coming over in town. We're throwing a Life Celebration party for my Grandmother who passed away last year before Thanksgiving. I don't remember how long that will run but I'll most likely be spending a lot of time with relatives sticking around for the night.

Sunday 6/7; full-shift day as always and possible visits from friends.

This weekend is going to be draining >__>

See you all later.

Hey everyone,

Thought I share a brief dream story while I'm checking up on FA and stuff. T'was a strange one too me indeed.

I remember walking around a small fair of some sort and I was with three of my friends (for these purposes I will state them as Will "My best friend", Jim "My slow but fun friend" and Dave "My 'why am I still friends with this asshole again' friend" ). Will informs me that there is an easy fair game to win a brand new PS4 and lets me know that if I help out on the $30 GAME FEE (carnival games are really inflating these days) he'll give me his old PS4 that works just fine. I was psyched...

But then we somehow got lost in the crowd and started circling around the area never finding that damn booth with the PS4 prize. Instead, I wound up following Dave and Jim out of the fair following a trail that was leading us to a large but cozy cabin building...where Pokemon were roaming and *explicit statement here* ...I will admit I've had my own bizarre sexual fantasies with Pokemon before, but I tend to try to wipe it out of my mind as quickly as it comes (I'm not a huge fan of Rule 34). I don't really remember what was going on outside with them other than the blatant display of trying to attract us for...well...you know, but Jim seemed unfazed by it while Dave picked up the pace and rushed into the cabin building (I imagine he was probably screaming "The Power of Christ Compels You" at some point but I don't really remember anything else from the outside part).

Inside was stranger, and most likely what was making all the random pokemon outside behave the way they were. We searched through several dark rooms that felt like we had gone into a haunted house until we found a few occupied by random humans watching several monitors and tvs. The screens were playing Pokemon games and shows while one or two displayed some red and yellow hypnotic eye or wheel. At first they seemed simply intrigued and content with what they were watching and playing and nothing more, though this young woman seemed very transfixed on watching I guess her favorite bug-type pokemon on the screen (almost to the point I think she was drooling).

As soon as Dave tells us to get the fuck out of here creeping him to next Tuesday, I catch out of the corner of my eye that same girl starting to twitch in her seat, and then seeing her eyes suddenly changing into the same hypno wheel like on the screens. After a few more seconds the girl's body starts to sprout fuzz and thin into bug like appendages; her eyes becoming something like Butterfree's or something more fly like before she suddenly shrinks into...well, a radically pokemon-like fly animal. I can hear her silently squeak "Well this is different" before she starts to buzz around us.

I rushed back into the other room with the other people, but I'm surprised to see the same transformation happening to them. To my recollection; they were turning into a Pikachu, a Vaporeon, a Mudkip, and I think Skitty. They were starting to slip out of their clothes as they started to shrink into their Pokemon bodies sizes hearing them moan and cry out softly in their new pokemon native tongues. It was...fascinating. But before I could witness the end of their changes Dave and Jim grab me by the shoulders and provoke me to start running with them screaming "We got to get out of here. This is a MadHouse!!!".

The last I remember is crossing paths with the horny Pokemon from before keeping a decent distance between us. After that...our venture back outside suddenly turned into a video game RPG world traversing a cavern, a mine, a bit more a forest getting into immediate battles with random small monsters and bandits until we got back to the entrance of the fair...and suddenly I'm hearing Markiplier and his friends somewhere around us talking about the game experience and signing off.

...I never got to get my PS4 though :(

Anyways; that's all I remember.

...to come later tonight. Currently roaming the big city waiting for 7 O'Clock to roll around. For the tix for the IMAX and seeking grog and meal to stuff myself silly with...at least only as much as to not keel over a toilet for over half the movie like I unfortunately did with Iron Man.

...what a way to kick off the Marvel Cinematic Universe for me, huh? Lol.

(Several hours later)...

FUCKING...
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...Terrible





..........ly AWESOME

I friend of mine (whom I'll keep Anonymous) just went to a hospital for help one's depression that had gotten worse to the point...

The only reason I'm not feeling like a complete wreck right now is knowing I got a call from said friend telling me Anonymous personally checked in to get help immediately. But I'm still very worried and can't stop contemplating what could possibly happen right now later. I also am afraid that if Anonymous does eventually get out that I won't know what the hell I can say to comfort my friend and bring said out of the darkness. I really suck at coming up with the right words (have you read my stories?).

Exhausted from work, stressing out looking for a new job, personal depressive vibes of my own (but nothing life-threatening), and surviving a raucous chest stomping and voice stripping Cold...my friend warned me the news would be a bomb-shell -___-

Keeping my friend's identity probably wanes this next sentence, but right now I can only ask for any followers, readers, and good Online friends that still put up with me to send some good vibes both my way and to my friend.

Updates to follow.

Hey viewers, watchers, and friends.

Thought I bring you all up to speed on how life has been fairing for me lately since I've been quite quiet this past week.

I've been in a anti-social mood drained and disinterest in wanting to chat, respond, play online, etc. None of it is towards any friends or anyone online at all; I still love all of you peeps...uh, guys and gals. My lethargic gloom mood has been stemming from life situations that have gotten to a point that I can't stand it anymore. This is mostly work related.

My current job; it sucks. Everyone I work with are great, and there has been days that truly felt rewarding. But...its the warped policies the company has taken that infuriates me, plus while I do have good relations with most of my co-workers I've hit my limit with how almost every order that gets done gets ruined or misinterpreted to where I have to fix it or deal with the disgruntled customers...and lately it has felt like a reoccurring nightmare.

Monday's events was the final straw. I finally took a step forward and placed an application online for one of the known staffing offices in town, and they called back Tuesday to setup an appointment to interview me into understanding more of my character and work history (even though I didn't finish the application). I scheduled the Interview for Thursday so I could finally work on my Resume in case they needed it. The plan was to do so immediately after work (since it was a short shift in the morning) while getting a mini haircut to shorten so I can see again and didn't look too ragged. Problem was one of our coworkers called in unavailable and I got forced to work until 6pm...which turned into 7pm. I managed to get the mini-haircut in time before they closed, but I had little time to really concentrate on my Resume (I was hoping to hang with a friend who would help me in how to construct one, but by time I finally got home he was unavailable).

Thursday came and I woke up to the expected rattled nerves nausea I figured I would have, which (while too extreme) felt as agonizing as getting you entire body sucked out through a small hole into the vacuum of space like the Newborn Xenomorph Hybrid from Alien: Resurrection (anyone remember, or haven't denounced, that movie? ). Didn't help much finding out some crap had gone down at work that morning too, but by the end of my shift I felt a bit more relaxed. The Interview didn't begin until I had to fill out a few forms (which asked me the same questions like 3 or 4 times), and then I had the actually face-to-face interview. I feel like I did ok, though the lack of a goal/preferred position may make it hard for the office to figure out what new employment will fit me. So I'm still a bit nervous wondering when I'll get a call back and what they manage to find for me.

Honestly; I don't care if its the same position again, just as long it isn't with my current company (and hopefully one that doesn't have me needing to pimp customers out with hundreds of promotions or programs).

And now; I'm stuck in my bedroom nursing a sore throat that may be a precursor to a damn Cold. I really don't want to be sick; I was doing so well not being caught by that damn Rhino. I'm supposed to go see my sister and my adorable niece whose eager to see her fluffy Uncle again. But I don't want to be out of commission to play with her, nor risk passing whatever the hell I caught to everyone. That's why I have been downing glasses of OJ every two hours to sooth my throat and keep my body filled with Vitamin C to kill this thing off.

In other news; I beat Batman: Arkham Asylum for the first time this week...and now trying to beat it again on Hard mode. I'd stream this, but my PC has since pretty much died on me and I doubt my laptop could handle playing the game AND Twitch streaming at the same time. Praying future new job will help me earn much more to save for a new PC.

And; as some might have guessed, I haven't been writing as much as I wanted to again. Seeing as the following week gave me too much time off I'm going to try and focus on the stories again and maybe finally make progress.

I think that's all I'll discuss today. Hopefully my mood will switch back over. I'm sorry if I haven't been responding to people AND especially to my friends. I'll get back onto my feet again soon. Until then; Happy Easter weekend everybody.

OH; just reminding again that I do have a Twitter account. I have been tweeting often lately about life, events, or just shooting the breeze and being weird. Anyone that wants to keep up with me when I'm quiet elsewhere are welcome to following me; same name.

I feel like giving a big olde hug to anyone that needs it. Big olde hugs for everyone!

*Tabby's arms stretch out rubbery and wraps friends, watchers, and everyone in a massive hug*

Because...hugging helps. Help what? Exactly :-P

Hey...*>__>* (Is there a better way to emote "embarrassed blushing" or "coy blushing" without using the smiley emoticons).

But yes; how is everyone this week? Good? Bad? Depressed? Horny? Confused? Should I stop here???

Finally updating my journal so I can get the last one out of the way. Can't say I'm completely out of my lethargic absent-minded gloomy mood yet, but for the most part I'm doing better. Staying on a current schedule with my evening workouts at the gym (and having two friends now joining me), steadily increasing my time-management and attention to IM'ing my friends online more, and finally getting some creativity back to writing and even some sketching (some) improved my situation since the beginning of this month. I just need to make sure I don't fall off the wagon again and hide under a rock like I normally do when I'm too timid or drained to play "Life".

So...what's up with me today then?
Well; I have been writing again like I said. While I haven't really made any real progress with continuing my Wolfhood: Reborn story, I have been writing up new short stories here and there to keep me motivated and brainstorming potential good stories to share. So far, I've "started" a few stories that probably won't get finished or will get revised if I return to them. Still trying to get myself motivated again to expand my "Special Bonds" story and break through the mental block I'm having with my special multi-part series revolving around the "Tomcats & Queens" Werecat universe I made years ago. The most recent story I posted "Rites of Passage" might get expanded in the end...as a future Book 3 in the Wolfhood series (Book 2 if I never get my act together to continue the original sequel with Percy).

Right now; though, I'm going to write another one-off (or potential generic series) with this spontanous idea I had a few hours ago. Granted; the idea is inspired by an old TF story I once read on Doc's Lab before. I'll have to look up the name so I can give proper credit before I post it (when I finish it of course). The idea so far is basically another Wolf/Werewolf type story but one that is caused by man-made experiments. I probably won't go to deep into the origin of the virus part as I rather focus on the poor "victims" that get infected in how it alters their lives...in the most erotic way possible ^___^; Haven't decided yet if there will be some MtF and/or FtM elements thrown in yet, a conversation with a friend online sparked a curious interest in me to see what I could come up with trying to write a FtM point of view (but seeing how much I've been stuck in fem mode that might be harder to accomplish at the moment, hehe).

In between; I'm going to start my continuing updating/submitting of my past and present Commissions and gift arts at my  TimidTabby-COM-Gallery since I've been neglecting my personal duties their for a month or two. I still have a butt-load to post...and I've gotten more now since the beginning of this year with three more coming in the future. I need to go back to suppressing my spending habits again >__>

Speaking of "money"...I needz it!!! Well; I don't want it...but I have to if I want to survive in this screwed up world called Earth. I'd like to start looking into ways to making my works (the stories mostly) a bit more profitable...but I don't want to alienate viewers having to pay for just mediocre writings. I don't feel like anything is really suitable for publishing yet, and I like to add illustrations to some before I would even try. But I don't think going Pateron will help me or even be feasible for what I "pump out", and I'm not in the business of starting story commissions at the moment.

Wasn't there something I could sign-up for that allowed viewers who wished to be supportive of content creators to make "donations" or "Tips"? ...or has that been phased out now BECAUSE of systems like Pateron? Idk; I'm just thinking out loud ^_________^;

That's it for now. If I have more to talk about I'll make another journal later this week. Until then; I hope everyone has a great week. Take all everyone!

Oh! And a Special HAPPY BIRTHDAY Shout-out to my friend and adorable Husky,  SergeantQuin >^__^<

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Just a reminder to current and new watchers; I do have a Twitter and Facebook that I do my best to update regularly. I tend to keep those more for general life stuff like sharing images, articles, or musings from around the net or from my online friends. I also may share more about my current status than I do here on FA. Or...I may just comment or write something silly and goofy just because :P You are welcome to follow me if you like >^__^<

...also; I has a Tumblr now too...but I don't really know what I should really be putting there ^__^; So for now; its just an extra blog page until I get any ideas or advice on how to utilize that site more.

Sorry everyone.
I lost my focus again.
Nothing has been done and I can't concentrate on writing at the moment.
I've been neglecting a few friends on Skype.
Sore muscles kept me from typing for a while, but they are better now so I can't excuse myself with that anymore.
I've asked thus question before...but...what's wrong with me?
Why must I always distance myself?
Why can't I utilize the free time I get accordingly? I could have finished all my stories by now. I have time to chat so why don't I?

*sigh*

Just a personal rant I should have kept for myself. No need to respond to this. I'm just reminding myself I need to do a better job staying in better contact with friends and pushing myself to stay on task with my projects.

In other news, I've joined a gym (hence the sore muscles comment). At least I've made one good change in my life.

*hard blush expressing my modesty over my current gender bent emotions...and for writing this sentence*
Why am weird? *>__>*

Hey everyone!
Just thought I update the journal again with my own musings and current status developments for those still watching this off-and-on dead/alive account I keep around for nostalgic reasons...or somethin'? *giggles*

DRAWING:
...bumpkus. I do have a few detailed sketches done a few weeks ago, but without a scanner to scan these too they will just sit in the backlog pile of undesirables for a while. *sigh*

WRITING:
Good News, everyone! I'm actually being productive with getting back on the horse (or wolf?) with my stories again...kind of, sort of, maybe, Chocolate Cream Pie!? o__o

Some of you may be aware that I have been attempt to remaster one of my story projects from the past called "Wolfhood: Book One", which the remastered version is being dubbed "Wolfhood: Reborn". Some know I already completed the original version years ago which is still readable on my old account at  WereTabby4918 (and if you didn't know, you are welcome to check out that multiple chapter pet project if you like). The remastered version's plot will remain heavily the same, but certain characters personalities or behaviors may be altered because...well; I like messing up established characters :P The biggest change so far is to the human redhead Aiden goes on a blind date with at the beginning of the story named Vivian. I think the original incarnation had her coming back for more mainly because 'reasons', at least curiosity in the experience of being 'mated' by a honest-to-goodness Werewolf. This new version though reveals a bit more of a concrete reason to why she doesn't mind becoming the Werewolf's concubine.

Other notable changes will be how Aiden and the Wolf-girl Luna meet up for the first time. The original idea was; again, "reasons" or "plot-convenience" which looking back at it now...I'm surprised I didn't slap myself across the face for pulling that schtick. So the remastered version will hopefully provide a better developed setup for how these two lusty wolves are fated to be mates other than...um..."senses and feelings?" (Did I really write that? ). Other scenes will get some tweaks too, but like I said the main plot will relatively be the same.

At this time; Chapter 5 (which most of that plot is part of the original Chapter 3) is being written and I'm praying I'll finish it before the end of the week if not sooner. I want to get to the Aiden and Luna parts already dammit; those will be fun >___< I think my main struggles when it comes to writing are my lack of concentration and trouble with finding the right ways to describe things and moments with appropriate words found in respectful published-ly approved literature (says the cat who writes fetish porn over half the time, hehe ^__^; ). There's another problem that I know of, but...that's one I have to personally overcome with control >___________>; I just have to find a way to apply the "Don't Break the Chain" method to my projects, along other things in my life.

I'll also be trying to complete another side-project I started a while ago, "The Brood Dragoness and her Mate", sometime in the future and maybe do something with my second TFTG short story Unusual Results too. But those have yet to be considered a priority at this time.

GAMING AND GAMESTREAMS/YOUTUBE POSTINGS
Hehe; this one really goes to any fans that really pays attention to my gamestreaming. Inspired by  Barrin84 and other Let's Play-ers; I tried to host my own gamestream shows when I could finding I had fun when I could play my games and attempt to entertain an audience with my quirky personality. My gamestreaming days has since stepped out of the limelight due to time-management issues, interest, and a crappy desktop that is too old to be upgraded and keep up with advancing technologies required to play most of the games I want to stream. I want to continue playing Alien: Isolation or start playing The Evil Within or Alan Wake, even Dark Souls for crying out loud. But I can't do that if my comp keeps crashing at the worst possible moments or when my wireless network card can't hold on to a strong signal for online gameplay. FUCK!!! ...*sobs* I hate my computer :(

I've also been trying to keep up with editing my past gamestreams and posting them on my Youtube channel so anyone who was interested and catching my latest streams or any random YouTube watcher that happened to come across one of my videos were welcome to view and hopefully enjoy my little silly adventures. Alas; I suck at managing my time with those too. There are a few series I started and have yet to complete. I'm putting in some effort with the Alien: Isolation series though; maybe by time I finish posting everything I did up to the point I took a break I'll have a new computer to continue playing the rest of the game again...W00t!!!...yeah?

Anywho; I announce these things when I can in advance, so anyone that's interested in watching my gamestreams in the future just keep an eye to the journals or submissions.

GENDER CURIOSITY
*sigh* I can't believe I'm making a segment for this. I'll keep it short and simple.
I...have been toying around with the TG aspects of transformations lately through my sketches and some writings...and I think I'm starting to like it too much. I've never been a huge fan of the TG aspect personally; I've been fully comfortable in my gender as a man. Still...it's been rather difficult to deny this tiny side of me that's grown fond of this hidden femininity surfacing every now and again. The thing is, it normally only shows itself for maybe a few days and then it quickly disappears and everything is back to normal; man this and man that.

But lately...I feel like I'm teetering. I don't believe I'm having a crisis of gender identity or anything, but...it doesn't feel wrong to embrace this other side. *groans* I don't know what I'm saying anymore. I have enough confusion and worry over my wolf side occasionally getting anxious and wild.

Just, um...if I start to behave too girly around anyone I give you permission to speak up and tell me to stop. ...or you're welcome to coax that side of me as far as you wish *giggles coyly* ;) I guess it helps that I already have a few online friends that doesn't mind when I act that way, and to them I thank you for putting up with this bizarre feline.

THE FRIENDS CONNECTION
This is something I need to really improve on. I really don't know why I'm having trouble staying in-touch with my friends here. I love everybody that like and supports me and my works, but there are just some points I can't seem to find the time or bravery to respond back to comments and notes or turn the damn Skype on to say hello and chat. I need to fix this; I need to take bigger steps.

*sees the Skype icon on my Taskbar, stares at it for a minute, then checks to see what's on TV or pull up the latest YouTube video*

...tiny steps. Just take some tiny steps ^___________^;

HUMAN LIFE
And this will be my shortest summary on this topic...

...blah...

Thus ends my summary!!! Ok; a bit more of a summary is that life is ok but not great. Finally did my Taxes and will be getting a nice Return this year despite fearing all the legal and premium assistance stuff from the ACA or "Obamacare" stuff would cause me to not only NOT get a refund but PAY more than I would normally get from my refund. And yet all that is going into my credit cards I need to pay off...or maybe on a new desktop that doesn't suck. Priorities.

Work is ok, but I truly need to start thinking about a new job. My problem; still, is that I'm still not motivated to wanting to look for one due to my increasing resentment in our world's workforce and towards stupid, stupid, stu-pid impatient and clueless customers I have to help on a daily bases that make me want to rip my luxurious hair out and drive away...far far away.

Here's a quick question to my watchers; if I started up a donation account, would anyone care? I never want to just beg for help or sell incomplete works like a jackass, but it has been an option I have been considering. Unless something I created in collaboration with certain writers or artist, I don't mind my works normally being free for the viewing public. Either that; or does anyone have any suggestions to places I could try to publish some of my stories to? .......you don't need to answer that one, I don't think I'm really explaining myself correctly anyways.

Last; I think I can contribute part of my lost time to my projects thanks to certain in-town friends from my childhood having more time to hang than we use to lately. One in particular has been inviting me over so we can catch up on the latest Anime series we started watching a long time ago or have been coming out this past year. He got me hooked on Naruto and Attack on Titan among other notable animes, and most recently we have been plowing thru all the episodes of One Piece we've missed out since this one subbing site my friend got his episodes from stopped producing them a few years back (leaving me to wonder how my favorite character was going to get out the situation on Ennis Lobby for 2-3 years). Since then, we must have conquered over 200 episodes in over half a year (and this show has up to 700 under its belt and still going). So, yeah...you can also blame the fantastic adventures of the Straw Hat Pirates for my absence on the web.

GIFT ARTS, COMS GALLERY, FACEBOOK, & TWITTER
Well, this journal ran extremely long. For those still reading I thank you for your visit and curiosity and what this strange timid pussy cat had to say. I also have to thank my friends and talented artists for all the wonderful art I was bestowed upon over the years, whether I had paid for it specifically OR if done out of the kindness of their hearts. I can hug all of you if I could...but I don't have stretchy powers like Mr. Fantastic or Luffy *giggles* :)

If you missed my announcements from the not-so-distant past; I recently created a separate account late last year called  TimidTabby-COM-Gallery where I have been steadily posting all of my wonderful bought commissions and lovely gift arts over the years in one convenient spot (and in hopes to reduce the amount of Non-created works by me off this gallery). You will find a lot of great art that was done by great artists like  DarkSilver ,  Mosa ,  Barrin84 ,  LoboLeo , and more who molded my fantastic ideas into lovely lovely pieces that I wish I could mount on my bedroom walls for viewing pleasure (but then I would have to explain to my non-furry friends and family why I have multiple posters of sexy images of my beautiful furry women...and female me...adorning my room, a conversation I'm not prepared for at the least ^__^; ). Please watch and fave anything you like, and if certain submissions have a link to the original artist's posting please follow that if you can fave and comment there too to give the original creator some wonderful feedback and support.

I also wanted to point out that I have created a Facebook since late last year, and I have had a Twitter account for the last few years. There was an issue trying to link my Facebook page on this site, so for those that are interested in checking it out You will either find me under the name TimidTabby or Alan Raines. I haven't really gotten anywhere in glossing up the place; I'm currently using it to keep in touch with certain friends I know are on Facebook and for backup postings of any events or updates in my life in case anything goes wrong with FA or others. You can watch me there if you like, and if you have tried but haven't received a reply back perhaps note me as well as sometimes Facebook doesn't really give me enough information on who's trying to contact me sometimes.

And as I said; I do have a Twitter account. I'll mostly be posting random updates or musings just to be goofy, but I'll also try to use that as another method of keeping anyone watching up to date with how my projects are going or if I do decide to gamestream again. IDK, just throwing this out there to the internet wolves I guess :\

Anyways; I'll end my newz report here. Thanks to all keeping up with me and for the ungodly patience you have with me on being so slow to post anything new. I hope to turn my productivity around this year. Hope for the best and I'll chat with you all later.

Peace and Meow! >^__^<

Well le sigh.
My iPod finally kicked the bucket last night. It won't hold a charge and I can't try a hard reset. It breathed its last electronic breath between 7pm to 12pm. Rest in piece(s) my old tiny jukebox friend.

...I really don't want to spend money on a new one right now. I'm trying to pay off my credit cards, not add more debt. Guess I'll have to wait until tax time and hope I'll still get a decent refund, unless the Obamacare stuff destroys me (I'm actually afraid I may need to pay them this year for medical insurance I didn't really want in the first place)

Anyways, incoming flash update:

Working on Chapter 5 of Wolfhood: Reborn
Finished a alien quadrilogy + Prometheus marathon with buds that never seen the first 3.
Tried Speed runners... Its cool
North Woods indie horror movie started a Kickstarter, check it out.
Nothing is on television anymore
Work hours are fluctuating lately
I've become really tired lately too.
And...ive been stuck in "Tabitha" mode for almost 2 weeks :-P

Take care all.

*growls frustratingly* ...so sick of things right now. Minor stuff, but still feeling easily agitated that I want to chase something and snap my fangs around its neck and not let go. Just want to run away from stupid humans and worthless technology. Just want to run...not be hu

*shakes head wildly*...Er, sorry about that. My other side has been a bit dominating lately it can be hard not to speak for it let alone submit.

Anyways; I really am peeved right now for small but "not-really-want-to-deal-with-it" situations.

Firstly; I made mention before that my old scanning decided to stop working (or at least my computer stopped recognizing the model and can't find the damn connection), and uninstalling and reinstalling doesn't work. I bought a new scanner during Xmas week to hopefully replace it; the scanner was this portable wand thingy I could save to a MicroSD card or have it plugged into a computer to upload. Well; finally tried that yesterday and IT DIDN'T WORK! It works when I use the wired connection but the range to move it around is limited and the whole point I bought the damn thing was so I could easily take it with me wherever I go w/o having my laptop or desktop with me and run it on Battery Power. Well...the battery power function is damaged; I tried the batteries it came with and ones I had fresh and new and it NEVER WOULD COME ON. What was the damn point if the battery powered option doesn't work? Plus, and this was the deciding factor that lead me to return the damn thing for a refund, the scans came out crappy and blurry. I could take better pictures of my drawings with my phone and photoshop them for clarity than that piece of garbage. If I wasn't interested in getting my money back I would have taken it outside and bashed its skinny plastic brains in and tear off the casing with my fangs and gnaw on its metallic entrails!

*clears throat* ...so yeah...still stuck without a scanner when I'm finally starting to get back into sketching and drawing. My fucking luck.

I'm pissed off at my dreams too, at least my ability to hold on to them. The other night I mentioned I had a dream where I had a chance to tf into an animal and the chance only went so far? Well last night didn't help either. I barely remember any of my dreams during my main sleep; I had to achieve just this glimmer of a chance through sleeping in between 9am - 11am just to finally achieve Lucid dreaming.

After wrestling to see something in my mind I found myself in a large store with marble flooring. It kind of looked like my office supplies store mixed with Target or Safeway. It was a dredge to get through despite not a lot of people or shelving's being in my way. Dreams can feel like you stuck in molasses sometimes even when you have some conscious awareness that your in one. The store also seemed endless with every step I took getting me nowhere closer to the exit. I started growling in angry, giving cold vicious glares to passing customers that did get in my way or onlookers observing me with suspicious mortified glances. I couldn't take the judging stares anymore; I wanted so badly to hurt someone, my fingers itching to swipe at something soft and thick. I somehow managed to keep my composure enough to start running hoping the exit would finally be at reach.

My vision got blurred and black for a moment until when I could see clearly again the store disappeared. I was walking along a paved road outside with fall withered trees from left and right of me. The air smelled fresh and earthly; the only sounds my ears focused on where bird chirps and leaves rustling. I felt better, the rage subsiding as I hurried off the paved road into the entrance of these woods. I fell onto all fours, walking up to bushes and trunks sniffing their scents and drinking in the natural senses of the woodlands. I felt good...really good; free. I started running back onto the road straight into the opposite direction where the woods opened up into a small grassland valley. My body was still human yet somehow I was moving and running on all fours as gracefully as a animal...and I loved it. It felt right. I was panting with my tongue lolled, smiling. I wanted to bark, to howl proudly the deeper I went into the wild.

And then it stops. -___________-

Why can't I have these dreams during my main sleep? Why does it have to be so late in the morning? Why does my mind work this way??? I want to go back.

But I won't be able to until the Weekend or sometime next week now, not unless I can achieve them during my main sleep. The latest aggravation just came an hour ago when my boss texted me telling me I have to work my morning gal's shifts for the next 3 days, 8am morning shifts. Normally; I wouldn't be so angry about this as I don't mind helping out when I can, especially if its because of a family emergency; I get those. What lit the fire under my tail was the awful timing, when I wanted to try and improve my lucid dreaming ability this week. That...and the fact I'm not in the mood to help stupid humans this early. I'm not a morning person (an early morning person anyways).

Ugh!!! *snarls aggressively* ...I just have to accept the situation and stop moping around it. It's not like its the end of the world. *snorts*

Anyways; apologies for unloading my minor frustrations on you all. Hopefully my mood will change once I focus on getting my projects done (gamestream editing for YouTube, stories, sketches)...or maybe after the moon has waned enough.

Take it easy everyone.

[BTW: I've created a separate account on FA called  TimidTabby-COM-Gallery where I'll be gradually uploading all my past and future paid commissions and story illustrations as well as any and all gift arts I have gotten over the years by some lovely talented friends and artists. Nothing much added at the moment but slowly it will be done. Any watchers or viewers that have faved any of these on my main gallery please be prepared to refave and/or comment when I upload any currently posted ones to that new gallery as I will remove said already posted ones off here eventually].

The memory of this dream is quickly fading so this will end up being short.

There were moments where the Earth was getting darker than usual, and then back to a bright sunny day, then evening in over a matter of minutes. My dad was renting out the house to a bunch of random people I've never seen before, even my own room. I was confused, but because of all the other dreams prior to this part I think I realized I was dreaming.

Normally; when I achieve Lucid Dreams, I immediately take the chance to become my feline self or invite my vixen beauty into it if possible (which is very rare). But I couldn't concentrate; I felt more anxious and irritable than normal. The situation of renting out the house could have been a factor, but I felt like going wild and not in the friendly kind of way.

I made my way to the garage, not comfortable changing in front of my dad or other people in public without feeling judgment (even if it is a dream). But someone had apparently rented the garage, a hippie looking lady that started talking so sweetly before threatening me with hedge clippers to leave her property. I glared back and snarled at her demanded the bitch to leave me alone. I lunged/pounced her wanting to bite, but I guess she had friends or family...really large friends or family, and I ended up wrestling the tallest. I think I managed to get in a pile driver in...or I did something with shifting my weight or strength to my legs around his neck to topple him and knock his head into the driveway. I was still very bitey, but I didn't seem to be biting hard enough to break the skin (still morally conscious of drawing blood or was their skin just too tough...or doughy?).

I somehow got back to my room, panting both in exhaustion and exhilaration as I realized it had become night time and the full moon was shining above my house visible from my window. I couldn't help it anymore; I was lost to my wolf side howling and growling crawling on all fours, stripping off my clothes and bathing in its light gazing up upon the moon. I felt my fangs and claws growing; watched my hands slowly start to stretch into forepaws, my ears tug wanting to become long wolfish points, and my lower posture reshaping to better walk on my paws like an animal. I was becoming a real wolf...almost. I only changed mildly in appearance, but my mind thought like an animal completely wanting to get out of the room, scratching at the door and gnawing on the door knob. I tried to find an escape through my closet...but that's where wolf dream ended.

The last bit I remember is false waking from that dream to find that the sunny day was replaced with a cloudy one, and while it wasn't raining hard at the moment, I discovered that my entire neighborhood was flooded (I mean as high as a garage door flooded). My car was underwater and I was starting to see a slew of vehicles floating towards the end of the street. One of my friends had come to visit (no idea if before or after the flood started) and was urging me to get ready to go out heading to my front door to head to the car. It took me a moment to remember what was going on outside, trying to shout at my friend to stop opening the door several times. He didn't listen; luckily, when he opened the door there was heavy splash of water first before the flooding tried to pour in. We closed the door quickly before it got worst.

Those were my dreams last night/this morning. Hope this was entertaining to some of you.
I did draw some last night (werewolves and stuff). Also tried to write a little very late before I passed out. Might finish that random story today or move back on to Wolfhood as I promised myself.

Until then; take care everybody.

AWWWWWRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOoooooooo!!!

Making a quick journal while not bothered. Hanging with a few good friends, though one has developed a unhealthy obsession with soccer at the worst time possible. Bugging me a bit about playing FIFA 14 or 15 (the newest one) vs with him because nobody else is interested. I'm not a huge soccer fan myself and watching him play his career mode game was making me drowsy and irritable.

Normally I could tolerate this more than wanting to discuss my current lifestyle choices and why I havent followed in his foot steps of dubachery and success. But it's just the fact I realize I'm stuck at his house with my only means of escape is through getting the one friend who drove to agree with me, or bail and get a cab or bus. And I'm not normally this frustrated to contemplate such things.

I've been very irritable too easily this past week and I don't know how to explain it because there really hasn't been any reason for me to be this primal of irritable (well, except for New Years Eve. I slipped into a point I wanted to snarl so violently at one person clawing at the top of his legs visibly threatening to ensnare my fangs on something vital of his if he didn't stop playing all of these crappy Let It Go parodies over and over for the last hour...*gnashing teeth tightly*...)

Sorry...I went back to a dark place >____>

I think I know where the sudden spurt of aggression is coming from, but its something I don't talk about lot in public forums, even as weird as most of the topics and interests here on fa or elsewhere...or maybe I have...??? *growls at myself* Maybe I have...

Anyways, if I have then some of you might know what it means. To those who have no clue and think me bizarre...ask in the comments and maybe I might respond.

Anyways, the prospect of seeing the Hobbit 3 tonight is kind of helping me vet through this...that, and the fact my two good friends are good at making fun at the other guy soccer addict. *shakes my head* what is wrong with me? Why am I acting like such an ass?

Maybe I can try and sneak a sketch of something without the soccer addict being nosy and asking questions I don't want to explain my answer too. Take care everyone.

*inhales deeply about to shout something profound*............it's Christmas...yippie.

LOL; yeah, not a huge fan of Xmas anymore now that I'm older (and wiser I guess), but that doesn't mean I can't still be somewhat festive. Most of us remember that this is a time to just be spirited and gleeful despite whatever bad presents or cramped hour(s) long visits from several family members bring (not that I'm saying the latter is bad, just some people have different experiences).

Not much else to say; and I'm being told its time to head for my Big Sis's place now, so I will leave you all with this:

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays, and may a bright and better New Year follow us all. and for those whose Xmas or Xmas Eve started out rocky or stuck working shifts at your jobs today for "reasons", keep your spirits up and just remember those who continue to root for you at home or online wishing you better days and nothing but joy.

Later FA. Be back next week with something I hope ^__^

*I just realized my last journal posted twice. Sorry about that ^__^; *

Hey all.
Thought I finally update while I have the motivation to do it.

Life is well and stable for the most part, though still poor and getting poorer each week it seems. Had to spend $60 to get a tire replaced because I somehow managed to stab a screw in it; a SCREW! Wasn't the most pleasant thing to wake up to in the morning, especially when I find this out before leaving for work. I'm lucky I was able to borrow my dad's truck so I could make it to work on time.

Which I regret.

There are days were you don't want to go to work. And then there are days where you no longer want to go to work because of being in a pissy mood, and then find out your department is falling apart having to clean up mess's and irritate customers that something has broken down or we are just too busy to start an order right there and then, and find out that your lead that (for what ever reason beyond me) had to go work at a different store for a day didn't warn you that you would be training a new guy at the same time. *sigh*...I nearly had another breakdown yesterday.

I'm just happy things went smoothly after I left work. I got to get off an hour early so I could handle the situation with my car; AAA came rather quickly, and I managed to get it towed fast enough to my local Big-O-Tires and got it fixed before they closed. Oh; and it was only $30 for the tire repair, the extra $30 came from replacing my windshield wipers (It needed to happen...but now I'll remember that when they mean "a piece" they MEAN "A PIECE" ).

Speaking of PIECE! If you didn't know by now, I'm a bit of an a Anime fan. I'm not a crazy obsessive Otaku kind of person just to clarify, I just happen to enjoy a few shows here or there that just tickle my funny bone, slate my need for insane action, or manage to tell a really gripping story that keeps me watching to see how it ends. ONE of these shows have been a real PIECE of work too! (get it...GET IT!!??...>__> ). One Piece does a good job mixing all three elements into its show, though its fault (like many other animes) is that they can stretch an arc on for WAY longer than it needed to (and some fillers can just be a bit erk...except the Feudal Japan styled ones, those are entertaining fillers).

WARNING: though I recently just edited this journal to reduce spoilers, you may be heading into Spoiler territory anyways. If you do not wish to know anything about One Piece, please proceed past the END WARNING marker. Thank you.

One of my buddies introduced me to this show I think 4 or 5 years ago when he was finding these torrents online from a group that did this really snazzy style of subtitling where every character's special move they cried out was subtitled in a fancy creative way that nearly matched their moves or element or personality. Unfortunately; they stopped making these subs in the middle of the Ennis Lobby Island arc just as Luffy is starting to fight this one guy (a Leopard man Zora cursed guy who). That was 2 years ago...I had to go 2 years without One Piece which...didn't really bother me that much but every time the subject was brought up I had to ask my buddy "Did those guys FINALLY continue the subs?"

Luckily; ever since Crunchyroll was introduced to the world (and after waiting a little bit for the system to catch up with the rest of the show already over 600 episodes long) and on days when it's just me and that one buddy hanging out, we started picking up where we left off (albeit; no longer having the stylish subtitles anymore, which is a bummer). Last night; we reached the end of the Archipelago Arc. Even though I know the outcome so it wasn't really that dramatic to me, I still felt the impact of emotions going through the characters minds. Robin has become my favorite character on the show, and after seeing her go through her personal journey and transformations into this awesome kickass cool person...the look in her eyes...felt like a dagger stabbed my chest.

*I've edited a large portion of the last paragraph out as I am dumbz and still sounded like I was giving away some major plot points unintentionally. For those who saw the first draft, apologies. Lets just say what I just watched last got to me and wanted to share my feelings on it...just need to find a better outlet. Please move on and have a nice day ^__^ *

END WARNING...is there a code to doing the HIDE SPOILER thing from other forums?

Anyways; moving on...

I started writing again. Don't know where it all go from here, but it's nice to be writing again either way. Currently working on a special 4-part story based on an old story I want to go back to and rewrite (or at least reedit). I have one part done...but I'm not certain if I want to post it yet until I either finish the other 3 parts or do my reedits of the original story its based from. But here's one twist...I'm writing about Were...CATS!!! (did you see THAT coming viewers? ^__^ ). The story is a quasi sequel to my old Tomcats and Queens story. I haven't re-posted it here yet, but you can check out the old edition on my abandoned first gallery here  WereTabby4918 The new story revolves around several different perspectives around the same area it takes place at, which certain characters being new and some returning from the story (mainly the main two Jonan and Sabrina). Kind of my experiment in trying to blend a multi-part narrative that eventually crosses over. Originally it was going to be just 3 parts, but I decided to get an extra character involved and I couldn't describe the area they come to well enough without getting someone else involved.

More updates on that as they come.

I think it is all for now. I'll be making another journal before Christmas sometime soon. Until then, everyone have a happy holiday and safe travels and all.

Oh; and for those I still talk to but haven't gotten back to in a long time; apologies for my lack of communication (as always apparently >___> ). Hope you are all doing well and hope to find time to chat with you again soon.

Howdy Ladies and Gentlefurs (and normal people).

This is going to be a short journal despite how much I should explain about the three facts I wanted to note...due to general lack of energy to do anything right now, so further explanations...can be asked for in the comments below if you like.

1) Gloom: Not really feeling peppy right now for multiple reasons, aside from still holding a tiny feeling of grief left over from my grandmother's passing. My buddy  flowtac and his crew's Indiegogo fundraiser didn't meet its goal. I was kind of surprised too considering how much work and effort and multiple updates they put into the fundraiser, you would have think there would have been more backers for such a small goal. I'm just hoping my buddy is doing alright; I know this isn't going to end the progress with his movie or stop him from keeping the word out of the film's existence. I just...I wanted something good to happen from this before the end of the year (I mean I guess getting funded over $2000 is still better than most could imagine, but that was it over two months of the project??? ). Sending good vibes and high spirits to my buddy and his crew for the future; you'll get that movie finished yet I know it!

2) Poor: Adding to the gloom is my own predicament with money. My current job won't give anymore hours to part timer's over 25hrs due to budget cuts and stupid policies, and its getting worse when the company starts cutting more hours when the shop isn't doing so hot. I'm barely making $250 a week anymore (again; I know most people come out worst than me). It's hitting me hard when I find I'm literary broke for the longest time in my life having to keep the current funds I have ready for the next bill to pay, leaving me with maybe $20 to my name this week only. I seriously need to start looking for a new job, or seriously start getting my shit back together and get my damn stories written and edited so I could try and get them published and/or suitable for readers that actually WANT to buy digital short stories...of erotic animal transformation plots...*sigh* >________>;

I know I have to cut back on some things for now, certain "edible" things being my number one commitment to STOP BUYING so I can have extra cash and maybe lose some god damn fucking weight or something >_____< Also means I need to stop buying games; I didn't take advantage of the Steam Fall Sale this past week because I HAD no money to spend in the first place, not even for a cheap $5 game. However; these sales it what busted my credit cards in the first place so its another reason why right now. This also means I'm still not safe to be going back to my favorite artists and getting some cheap sketch commissions still like I used too. It may be another year before that too.

I think I'm starting to get a tiny understanding of what it feels like to be mentally and spiritually squeezed under the weight of this world.

But; I gotta keep myself on my feet or the world is going to take me down, and I ain't going to let it have me without a fight. My grandmother would be disappointed in me, and I'm not reuniting with her at the end of my days only to find her waiting shaking her head in disapproval.

3) Facebook: the odd entry in my life; I finally cracked and decided to create a Facebook page. Nothing too spectacular about it right now, just there as another means to update my status in life and maybe of current projects and upcoming gamestreams or whatnot (I haven't really decided what to mainly use it for). I invite any watchers and lurkers who like my works (and like me for whatever insane reason :P ) to check out my page here: TimidTabby's Facebook Page. Might be another useful way to stay in contact with me too if I neglect or am too busy to respond back to Notes or Comments. I do know that I don't mind using Facebook to keep up with my current Online buddies and any new wonderful people I may meet around the web (or in person).

That's it for now (once again, I lied about this journal be short). Now if you excuse me, I need to sob a bit more at how I can't afford a new Gaming Desktop with a better graphics card and processor to play my AAA games :( Strange sentence to end this journal on, I know. But I've come to terms with how random I can be :P

Before I do my novice promoting shpeel* again; I want to make it known that I'm doing fairly better than I was two weeks ago. Sorry I went dark for a while; just a lot I had to process after everything. A little nervous about how tomorrow and Thanksgiving is going to go though with my grandfather coming up town mainly to deal with legal issues after...well, most of you know now >___> I'll just be happy to spend some time with him.

Ok; as for the bulk part of this email...

I know I've been pushing this movie (A-LOT) in the past few months and apologies if this has become annoying by now, but that's not going to stop me from helping out a friend.

North Woods (An Indie Horror Film) Indiegogo Fundraiser
North Woods (An Indie Horror Film) Facebook page
North Woods Twitter page
North Woods YouTube page

The fundraiser ends on Black Friday at Midnight with their goal only nearly half way through.
But that doesn't have to be the end of things goal met or not.

Any fans of horror films or curious people that want to give this crew a look, there are still ways to help out even after the fundraiser is over. Keep checking out the Facebook and Twitter for updates, help the spread the word if you can. If you have any questions for the creators of the movie you can email them at:

flowtacentertainment[at]gmail.com or even check out my friend's page here on FA  Flowtac

My final note to you all until I can make an official "I'm Back" journal is for all of you to enjoy a Happy Thanksgiving and to always cherish those you love the most (family and friends alike). Take care everyone!

Maybe Baby!

* jo_renard wins the game...what game? If you have to ask, then you lose the game...I think?
See the link in the comments*

Yeah; I blew it hard. I have had no time for continuing the gamestream of Alien: Isolation as promised...but I don't regret it as I have been able to spend a bit more time talking and chatting to most of my online friends. Also; it's given me more time to start doing my video edits of the past stream so anyone that wants to catch up (or just make fun of my quirky antics) can do so anytime.

So I'll post more news on when I'm ACTUALLY getting back to the game soon. Until then, why don't you check out the first 3 episodes of my Alien: Isolation Let's Play series.

So... ... ... ... ... ... I have been watching Let's Plays of Markiplier playing Alien: Isolation...the game I will be playing on Halloween at 4pm PST for the first time ever...and on its hardest difficult. And I've come to a serious epiphany after seeing what he has gone through so far most likely on normal mode.

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My Vixen Goddess; my trailer never rang any truer than it does now. What the hell was I thinking? o___O;