visiting Texas to spend 3 weeks with my girlfriend.
it's awesome.
I'm pleased.

<3

Hohoho from where I'm visiting in the deep south of the USA.
Read: The Mississippi coast.
We're about ready to go start our Christmas festivities soon, as this family celebrates in mid-west fashion, which is to say that they celebrate on Christmas Eve.
It's really exciting, I must say.

Merry Christmas to all my watchers or visitors. I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas and the rest of the holidays, full of warmth and the love of the people who surround you.

RAWR I AM... something, and I clean bathrooms for money. When I consider this, I'm making around $10 an hour for this nonsense.
CLEAN ALL THE BATHROOMMMM.

Going to Mississippi. Leaving in 8 days. Will bring back awesome photos.
And cool stuff.
Because yay southern state with a history major buddy!
wahhhhh!

IT IS AKICON TOMORROW.
|:

Doing book shopping this week.
Start classes again on the 19th.
After this very long summer, I'm excited to be back in an academic environment. I feel bad having to leach off my girlfriend for an intelligent conversation.

also, we're working on arranging to get her up from Texas. Promised by Spring, probably before. We're just working out the details (where her apartment is gonna be, etcetc), and raising the money. She's lucky enough to have a job that can transfer easy enough.
...Totally going to be wasting abnormal amounts of time at her place. It's practically walking distance from my place. /confetti!
Somehow, I just feel weirdly good that she isn't moving here because of me. I don't think I enjoy the idea of dragging someone out of their home state to live elsewhere just for me. After recent experiences, I feel it could end badly. But having her here will be amazing. <3

8DDD

GIRLFRIEND

totally pulled that off in a proper manner. B)

Edit: AHHH GIDDY SCHOOL GIRL MOMENT.
Turns out, when you're happy and can't shut off your brain, it's even harder to get to sleep than if you're upset with the same problem.

I got some decent answers today.

Basically: The past year with constantly being pestered and told that my friends hate me, along with serious stresses from that and other sources in the past 3 months has culminated in giving me clinical depression.

:/

I have more appointments set to talk to the counselor so she can figure out what the best tactic to help me is.

Everything since May has done some work to my head. Probably extending a bit further back, but yeah.

I don't really know the details, but I'm hoping I'll know on Tuesday. Going to see a counselor about it.

Been really lethargic and such the past few days.




also, not going to Gasukan. I'm going to Cashmere again this year to visit family and go tubing on the Wenatchee River. I'm hoping the sunshine and giant party will perk me up a bit.

Waiting on my costume still. The binder should arrive in the next week or so, and the costume itself should arrive the week before my birthday. Gives me just about 2 weeks to touch everything up before Akicon. Probably just a case of making sure the buttons are properly secured, etc.

All this stuff over the past year?
yeah.
fuck it.

because now I'm apparently depressed and get the lovely honor of seeing a counselor soon.

just. sdhhfdhskadf.

can't do this.

happy now?

Haven't had time at all to do anything but diet. :/

Waist is up to 35 inches. Howthehell.

At least there's this dawning realization that, even after I gained weight over the last ~6 months, I can still fit pretty dresses. <3

Need to go for a run. D: Tomorrow morning, I'm thinking... Whyhasitbeensobusy,damnit.

I don't think it helps that all the weight settled into my legs. :/ and chest. Stupid pear shape.

New costume acquired. Also: Binder. Finally. (I could have honestly got this at any time, but I'm a lazy bum.)

Norway for Akicon. I might bring Sweden too, but god knows.

And staying with awesome-person-forever... Decided with a friend that we fail as people together in a hotel, so we won't be trying that again. Need less people in a room anyway. 10 people got me all tense... Hopefully 3-4 for Akicon...

Not going to Kumoricon. Never do, really, so I guess it's not a big problem anyway.

why you no work, tablet pen.

i needed you.

goodbye 30 dollars for a new pen.
i hate you too, wacom.

|: for srs, the pen was fine last time i touched it. idon'teven. it sat in it's cradle for a year, what the good fuck.

If you start seeing Neopets artwork- fair warning, I somehow meandered into it again. ...It's not like I haven't been on and off this site for years, noooooo.

also, I make bad lamé jokes. /derp.

Happy 4th. \o/
I blew some shit up, it was cool.
My uncle had me drinking vodka because everyone in the world seems surprised that I can handle myself with straight up vodka. idk, man, every time. I guess I'm a basket of surprises.

There's some bright lights going on outside, I'm a little afraid of some twit blowing something more than a harmless firecracker up. Man, fireworks are illegal in this here town. Get your act together, people!

PRIDE = AWESOME
Hung out with a friend for a bit at first. Left towards the end of the parade to go catch up with the group I was waiting for. (They're always so slow!)

Items I've ordered have been arriving. I had a random pack of 100 Pokemon cards arrive today (+ Promo Mew and a Prime card...Celebi!)
About 90 of the cards were ones I didn't have (probably more, but I'm making a guess... It's like...90-92.) Which is nice! Only a couple of doubles. Brilliant cards, I must say. But I need a new binder. A thicker one. It's getting crazy. I counted, and it's something like 340 different cards. Not even including the several that have like, 5 cards for some unknown reason.

Camera will be arriving tomorrow afternoon. I'm so excited I could spit, considering what utter shit my old camera (now dead) was. >8|
It's a nice Kodak... I've always had a LOT of luck with Kodak Easyshares for just point and shoot cameras, and I'm excited to see how this one measures up to the others I've touched.
And it was only 46 bucks, so. Yay!

PRIDE PARADE TOMORROW
CHILLIN' WITH THE AWESOME PEEPS

SHOULD BE SLEEPING
BUT FUCK YOU SLEEP IS FOR THE WEAK

shit i have to get up at 8 am. CRAZINESS.

Tried to make a new deck last night, mostly based on the SP Dragonite I got ahold of this week.
I'm not doing well.
How do I make such an awesome deck and then utterly fail at the process later?
HOW IS THIS DONE?!



cook faster, rice. I demand chicken livers.

The Japanese deco clay I have is silly stuff... kind of crumbly. I'm almost tempted to go use sculpty, but that's so /heavy/...
Guh. Whatever. I'll figure this out.

School is over. Cool beans.

Went to Battle Roads anyway. Won one round out of 4... Only played three. Guess who won by default? Ian and I spent most of dinner with friends at AFK Tavern working on how get it fixed. Doing pretty good with it- I trounced him a few times with the edited deck. It's got a hella nice Umbreon and I'm pretty sure we'll throw in a second. Particularly against him, it's easy to just plink away at whatever he has out and receive no damage. Cackle. Also, absolutely awful things also in that deck: easy to get one or two energy on it and one hit KO people. :)

Anyway, rambling. I'm returning to normal not-OH-SHIT-LIT-CLASS schedule where I can read on my own free will. Borrowed Water For Elephants from a friend, which is good so far.

Did my work, turning it in on Monday. Insert BEST SUMMER EVER starting after that. I need to work on things. Like writing. And sewing. And deco crap. (You have no idea how many little cupcakes are sitting around my room now. And I'm testing how to make chocolate sauce... Picked up some chocolate colored fabric puff paint. It looks nice, I just have to figure out how to work that CONSISTENCE variable.)

Drama has hushed up very nicely. Works well for me.

Still single, but okay. I'm not sure if said guy is single or not? He, Ian, keeps mentioning that he has to ask Amber this, or ask her that. I'm not sure what is going on, but I hope he's alright. In the end, he's a very good friend of mine, and he's been so sweet to me... I don't want him hurt.

Still confused about the plane ticket. So...so confused. I'll see sometime next week.

My uncle is alright, but we saw the pictures of the car... He's pretty goddamn sore, and I can see why. The entire back of of his little Saturn car? Gone. Just...gone.

I'm going to have a good weekend- A friend invited me somewhere for her birthday. I'm glad I can go- she's pretty much one of my best friends and has been such an amazing support to me these last few months.
Ian also invited me to the Battle Roads Pokemon tournament. I think it costs to enter? So I probably won't- also mind that I do NOT have a league-legal deck at the moment. Nor will I win. Those kids at my league are crazy. I'm not even kidding. They smear the floor with me, and I'm NOT bad at this game... Mind you, though... These are 10-13 year olds placing somewhere within the top 5 at nationals level. Which is crazy. Just plain ole crazy. I like playing all the same, and sometimes I accidentally get lucky and murder Ian's psycho unlimited deck with a starter deck. (hehe.)

I'm off my medication for this time being. At the end of the month, I go in for testing to see if I come up positive for antiphospholipid syndrome. We'll see at the end of this month if I'm stuck on the pills for the rest of my existence.

But all the same! I'm fine again, and I'm pretty happy.

Yeah. I am. Really.

It started out with just...bad stress in general. I have finals, I'm a bit behind, I'm scrambling desperately to fix it. (I'm actually going okay on this at the moment. I might be okay with this.)

Add some random ass drama. First I'm accused of saying something about someone I haven't breathed a word about in months. Well. Wut? A furaffinity account is mentioned. ...well... maybe she made a new one. Go through someone's account, find it... And find another. She's calling me a two faced bitch who would have a slim chance of ever finding the account because I'm too selfish. well...That's not nice. Go to post. She's already blocked me! K. Make another account, very obvious. I'm not trying to be sneaky. Post "yeah, very slim."
She blows up and says she's going to call the police for "stalking".
Never mind that I haven't done anything close, and she's been going through my facebook to find information about probably herself.
She uses this to tell my new ex that I'm a big meany.
...We kind of laughed it off, but seriously... You don't do shit like that after you BLOCK someone. And then accuse them of stalking!

Speaking of ex, yeah. I'm...single. It's kind of not awesome.

But it might look okay. The guy I really like is newly single!
He's also older and might just be stringing me on. Or maybe he's just naturally like this. But he doesn't know anyone in the group! He's unaware of the stuff... But IDK, maybe he's just nice. The comments about how cute I am might be nothing.

We're trying to fix the plane ticket so I can go elsewhere, as Missouri is sort of out of the question.
It's kind of expensive.

Oh. And throw on the NEWEST BIT OF PROBLEM.
Someone, I suspect my grandfather, called the house.
Mom speaks to him, and then tells me.
My only uncle, someone I love dearly, is now in the hospital.
He was in a car accident, they had to use the jaws of life to get him out.
He's in critical condition.

I'm scared, freaked out, having multiple break downs this week.
Holy shit, I just need to be left alone. I need a blocker. I need to finish my paper so maybe I have a better chance of handling the rest of this like an average person.
One person cannot handle this all at once.

Sometimes I have to sit back and wonder about certain people. There's starting to be more than a couple.

Could they really be so stupid?

Sometimes, man...


edit: OH YEP TOTALLY HIDING FROM ME, MAN.
better question...why does one need to hide from me?

In short, because I have no particular desire to type it all again:
Sprint fucked up, did something weird to my primary number. We had it fixed, it took forever, and when I went to get an upgrade for my phone (I accidentally mine), they messed it up again.
I spent 3 different occasions in their store, trying to a) calm down a parent and b) trying to, very patiently, explain what is SUPPOSED to happen and what they dun did and why it needs fixing.

...I got a new phone, though. It's shiny.

Con is over. Mostly okay, but a lot of stress.

Got riproaring drunk on Saturday night. One friend turned into a surprisingly good representation of Jack Sparrow and I professed my want to become a vacuum cleaner.

Good weekend.

D: IT'S COMING.

I'm, yes, freaking over Sakuracon.
It's in a week.
I have everything done, I just panic easy.
I got everything I can packed all nice and neat, and a list is ready for the rest of things I need.
Going shopping for food next Wednesday... lunchables and ramen, man.




Also, the ticket for Missouri should be ordered sometime between tonight and Monday.
I'll be attending Natsucon at least one day. (I'm begging to go all 3 days, but I don't know yet.)
I'll be there from late July to mid August.

I'd like to express that this is literally the only thing that has been on my mind since Sunday.
|: No, really.

I have some different kind of Pokeball hairclips/necklaces made up- I just need to photograph them.






also, the doctors suspect I have lupus. I found out in around 2 months.
/bombshell.