Yes, hello, Minions. Today is yet another day that I have allowed you all to live, however, for those of you who have had a long tenure with me, you will realize it is yet another year in which I have not only graciously abstained from separating you from your mortal coil, but also allowed for the continued survival of the planet, and the Universe. And so, as many of you should know from your Henchman's Handbook, (page 4201, paragraph 12, section A) This is the day that I have deemed I am due my yearly tribute to honor the event of my glorious entrance into this sordid, untidy existence.

As such, I will be supplied with only the finest (No more Picassos, please, I have standards, I want to see some Rembrandts this year), the rarest, or the most heartfelt of loot. As per standard operating procedures, all museums, banks, and public monuments are fair game as locations or your due tithe, and I insist that all manner of underhanded tactics, strategies, and methods be used in this competition. It was close last year, but as you can see on the battlements, I will require the heads of those who will inevitably fail me to fill out the spikes to serve as proper motivation to you, my fanatical Minions, and as warning to the fools who would dare oppose me.

A caveat - Please, no more fair maidens, princesses, or heiresses, my harem dungeon are already standing room only, and I strongly urge you to remember the Eiffel Tower incident three years ago, as any repeat will force my hand in meting out terrible and indiscriminate retribution. On the upside, I'll have more bones, as the East Wing of the Dread Fortress is a bit sparse in furnishings.

As always, you have 24 hours to complete your acquisitions, and it started 3 minutes ago.
Do not fail me.

Captain's Log: STARDATE: 91725.65 - I poured champagne for my portrait of Christina Ricci, who, as we all know, played Wednesday Addams in the incomparable 1991 film classic 'The Addams Family' while wearing my Star Fleet Captain's Uniform ('Wrath of Khan' version, thank you very much). The Go-bots and mint-in-box GI Joes on my shelves bore silent witness to the candle-lit scene as I then gave Christina a tour of Azeroth. After a leisurely flight upon my gryphon steed, I read love poems featuring complex references to Sonic the Hedgehog and my Naruto fan-character, Yashimori, in the original Quenya. After watching the second season of MLP with my arms wrapped around Christina, I quietly wept myself to sleep in the cheetos stained blankets of my shame.

I'm about to be evicted!
YAY!

So, I have to get things done.
This is to remind the people that I owe things to to remind me to get them done in something resembling a timely fashion.

In no particular order:

- Tea Party
- (Another) Monster Foxers (for Halloween)
- Robot

If I've forgotten anyone, bug me until I remember.

It's been a good run, but I think it's time for you to die.
This may seem a draconian stance, but I have two absolutely compelling reasons for this:

1) Honey Boo-Boo will have a show that has Smell-o-Vision scratch'n'sniff cards.
2) Someone referred to me as "Bootylicious" today.

I am certain that you understand, and even if you don't, it won't matter because I intend to seek the annihilation of all totality, and so even if there is an afterlife, there will be no time for any of us to dwell on our deaths, as there will, indeed, be Nothing.

-Sincerely
Tiridates

BOLT-THROWER IS COMING TO PORTLAND, FUCKIN' HELL YEAH.

I think I ought to draw more tentacles. The world needs more of them.

As of late, I've considered taking commissions.
The problem is that I have no idea how to price my work for something like that.
Sure, you could probably pay me with Steam gifts in perpetuity, but if it comes to actual money, I don't even know where to begin or how to make a sufficient assessment of how much I could reasonably charge someone.

I've seen people charge anything from sixty bucks to five for artwork.
While I can definitely see doing a charge based on hour of work spent on a commission, determining a rate like that is again, something I don't think I could do in appropriate keeping with current market rates.

Regardless, once things have settled down here, I will probably open up one or two slots for free commissions every few weeks while I get back into the swing of things.
I might even actually get them done!

HAPPY NEW YEAR, EVERYBODY.
Yes, even you.

I'm going to have to draw a zombie ala Rembrandt.
Maybe Cthulhu.

Really. New art to be posted in a vast wave soon. You stay classy, those of you who aren't Sekonda, as he hasn't any chance of being classy on account of the alcoholism.

I neeeeed feedback and critique.
Not candyass smiles, OH, WOE IS ME.