I didn't even notice! Passed the six-year anniversary since first FA registration.

Six years. SIX FUCKING YEARS on this site.

Six years of personal development.

Six years of smut.

Six years of being a creepy, weird little bastard makin' connections.

Six years of meeting weirdos, some of whom turned out to be pretty badass weirdos.

Six years of the Bad Friend Trio.

Six years of weirdness.

A QUARTER OF MY LIFE spent circulatin'.

Here's to another six, you magnificent bunch of fucked-up oddballs. <3

THIS TIME IT'S WITH A TWIST.

Because rather than ruin everyone's inboxes with these coming out all the time, I'd much rather just have a permanent place I can use to harvest the meat of your juicy, juicy brains.

Please find a link in the footer to submit your responses if you feel like feeding me an idea.

Or do it in the comments. Either works, but the form will stay there ad nauseum.

<3

I think I've got a pretty fly cast of sluts now. BUT WHERE DO YOU STOP!? D:

I keep wanting different stuff randomly. Now I've got incestuous jackal sisters, an alcoholic bottom-heavy 'roo, a mute & oversized Renamon, a mind-fucking Mewtwo and a chocobo mount whore. :U

Not to mention one or two of the older ones, now defunct. <_>

There's just never enough different types to satisfy. :C

EDIT: There's probably room for one or two others. I've got one old dominatrix shemale dragoness if anyone wants to send a buying offer. Just a thought!
Name: Elizabeth
Nicknames: "Mistress", Liz.
Age: 30
Gender: Shemale, sometimes herm.
Height: 6 feet four inches.
Weight: 260lb
Species: Dragoness Succubus.
Kinks: Whipping, spanking, pain, bondage and teasing.
Top/Bottom: Power bottom.
Personality: Level, sharp and cold, right up til she hits the sack.
References: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/8578186/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/7865892/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/4841772/

I JUST REALISED I DON'T EVEN HAVE A SINGLE ONE.

But I need one.

Species, shapes, strange-kink and sartorial ideas desired.

(N.B., No, the rest of them aren't I mean I need one who falls into Tobi's li'l collection just because she's too dumb to realise quite what's going on.)

MISOGYNY GO

For my cast of sloots, hookers and a cat.

THE BOSSCAT: Tobi, the egotist li'l guy with eyes bigger than his stamina. Lusts for large, and stuffs a lotta butts.
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/7802686/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/7868598/

THE ALTER EGO: Shem-Tobi. Vicious, narcissistic, sadistic, domineering anal assassin.
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/13923849/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/14461343/

THE AMBITIOUS ONE: Alisha, the angry, businesslike bitch with a lust for approval, dicks and pimpy affection. She knows what he likes.
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/14832845/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/17233874/

THE LOVEY-DOVEY ONE: Ashlia, the smothery, cuddly drainer of men. She'll drown you in fluff and fuzz, then suck you dry with her hungry azz.
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/14859962/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/6986026/

THE DUMPSTER: C.G., the mute, bottomless guzzler of cum, the shameless gargler of dicks, the oversized, over-fat dick-magnet with the infinite appetite.
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/12244581/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/14546639/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/8594994/

THE DRUNKARD: Jessica, the lager-swilling wall-destroying self-assured australian 'Roogirl with the ass like thunder, and the muscles to CRUSH a man!
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/15032227/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/16072683/

THE MINDFUCK: Mewtwo, the ultimate power-bottom. The mind-melding, face-raping, rimming-and-anal-obsessed genetic monstrosity with the great ass.
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/16986516/

I need ideas, yo!

Interactions, personal interactions, hot outfits, awesome fuck scenes, hot ideas, humor. GIMME IT ALL!

I go into streams.

Then I sit in the streams.

Then I say something.

Then I lose interest when everyone talks because there's a lotta threads of conversation.

Then I end up leaving. :C

THE FEELS

THE FUCKING FEELS

S2 was better than S1. Much less weirdness, much more seriousness, still comedy.

Watch it and prepare for feelz.

Anyone else noticed this?

Seems to me like people I wanted to hurl money at were ten a penny this time last year. Now, what with all these patreons, adopts and YCHs, the increasingly fragmented number of artsy sites and all the artists fleeing the yoke of weirdos like me, there's damn near nobody left who I'd regularly commission. Seems harder and harder to find up-and-coming talents, too.

Could be because I don't get about so much on HF and DA.

Any recommendations would be delicious. Just don't ask for my money. I'll give it when I'm ready.

Because I'm terrible at ideas and never know what to get.

What would you LIKE to see? c;

M'kay the Yaris didn't work out.

BUT THERE'S A BETTER ONE.

Deposit paid, Civic 1.6 executive. HEATED LEATHER SEATS FFFFFFFFFFF

Lookin' good.

FUCKYAAAAA

In preparation for the onset of a new job, I've managed to obtain a set of wheels.

Granted it's a tiny wee hatchback with a 1.3 litre petrol engine, but it's got a BEIGE interior, CD, bluetooth n' that, aircon, sunroof, all that good stuff. And it's a Toyota, so it'll go forever.

2002 model, 69000 miles, one owner, full service history, brand-new tyres, it's a steal!

At only 1850 of the queen's english pounds sterling. Plus another 150 to tax it and another 1000 to insure it. #sob

Pickin' it up Saturday. Awwwww yiss.

DISREGARD LAST JOURNAL (But thanks, that cheered me right up. c:)

New job GET. Awaiting confirmation through post.

Will also be acquiring car, £8k per year more, proper career prospects and a 3-day-on, 3-days-off shift pattern.

Yup. Life's looking fuckin' good right about now.

:D

Depressed cat.
Little ball of angst.
Worried kitty.
Fretful kitty.
Meow.

:C

THAT'S RIGHT

THIS GUY.

I got me TWO (count 'em) TWO jerb interviews for better-paid places than I'm at now.

One, a design administrator for a sustainable engineering firm. Glorified paper-pusher, with extra concrete and £21,000 a year starting wage. Only this morning I had a phone interview with a charming lady from Berlin.

TWO, A warehouse stock-controllin' job, organizing/logging shipments and so on, signing off the paperwork usin' that lovely SAP software. Three-day shift patterns, with grumpy lorry drivers and £24,000 per annum, PLUS SHIFT ALLOWANCES.

Number two is the hot ticket, since my cousin's been working there and singing my various praises for many a month. It's also a permanent position, so once you're in, you're in.

This also features the possibility of trainin' up to be an expert in the systems, and then who knows? Secondment around the globe? The company itself has extensive operations abroad... huhuhuhuhuhu.

No matter which one I get, it's gonna get me automotive. A CAR, A DECENT JOB AND FRIENDS AND STUFF. I'll just be a normal, functioning human being and there's no way any of you fuckers can prove otherwise.



On top of this, the extra cash and time off means I'll be able to wheel some of my more AMBITIOUS projects out there for the future. Ohhhh, yes. The future's so bright I'm gonna need some Foster Grants.

Watch this space, fucksticks.

I worry, y'know. I do indeed worry.

So right now, describe the voice, accent and method of speech you'd imagine Tobi to have.

That way, I might feel inclined to show you just how wrong you are. c:

http://gyazo.com/f05b5a953da02713c022e99aef423767

You know you want to check it out.

All I seem to get these days when I try to talk to people. :C

You know how it is. Once friends, then driftage. Sometimes other people seem to drift very quickly...

I cannot remember the artists I like.

Like, not at all.

I see people and go OH MY GOD I WANT TO COMMISSION THEM then POOF

NOTHING.

So I miss every fuckin' round of commissions because I have no memory for names.

ANYWAY. Carry on.

I have an irrational hatred of mouseses.

Just the ones with the teeth, those FUCKING CUTESY WOOTESY TEETH

GOD I WILL KILL THEM ALL

*Drops mic*

You get one dirty wish. One fantasy to be indulged, with allll the real-world problems (You know, the ones that spoil the fun) removed.

WHAT
WOULD
IT
BE
AND
WITH
WHOM
OR
WHAT

I am veeery curious.

Also bored, but curious mainly.

And hey, don't skimp on the naughty details, they're far more fun.

Yes, like Mr. Luther-King before me, I, my fellow fucksticks, have a dream.

I dream of the advent of hyper-pornographical virtual realities. And like Mr. Merovingian before me, I intend to pick up an incredibly pompous manner and possibly peddle in orgasmic desserts of a much less metaphorical flavour.

In addition to this, I shall pick up the largest cast of smut-seeking programmable laydeez this side of a low-rent porn flick.

Yea, they shall be terrific in their magnitude, and cater to all of those whose tastes have outstripped the eccentric, outrun the abhorrent and crashed into the hard brick wall of twisted erotica.

And verily shalt those who seek the odd prostrate themselves at the tastelessly-decorated digital bordello of my brain. Where reality is bended, dispensing dream and nightmare alike at very reasonable prices.

I shall be there amongst you as the esoterically backwards-spinning dynamo that I am, a-twirling my juice-dispensing cane and wearing a coat of fine silks, duck feathers and fake chinese gilt, and a hat, YEA A HAT OF SUCH INCOMPARABLE GLORY THAT TO STAND IN ITS PRESENCE IS TO WITNESS THE RISE AND FALL OF MIGHTY KINGS.

And when it has been established as the go-to place for the tweaked of taste and the black and twisty of brain, then shalt the recruiting begin.

Those who do not subscribe to its earthly pleasures shall aspire to spread its messages. All those who dream of enslaving hundreds to gawk and worship at their altars shall find their place rewarding those who tithe their funds for the maintenance of this most backwards and fucked-up of spiritual cravings.

And through it all, the pimp-king shall dance, with a mischievous grin and a limitless capacity for inventive small-minded cruelty and perversity. Verily shall he dance, bringing light and life to the bump, the grind, the write and the thrust.

This holy place, the flipside of the spiritual glee, the endless rites of earthly fertility, it shall be known as the OUROBOROS CLUB.

Will you take the blue pill, or the red?

Amen, you bunch of dirty bastards. YOU will be my spiritual chorus.

I got bored and made a shortlist of my favorite smut themes.

It reads like a shortlist of "101 things to get you arrested then put into a mental facility."

One day I'll have the stones to actually commission some of it. >_>

Yas.

I've never had a consistently stylish get-up for Shem-Tobi on SL, and without a terblet pen there's SIMPLY NO HOPE of designing something delicious with any level of details, for I lack the patience to do so.

So I'm appealing to the large n' lewd arty types to undertake a special commission thingie for me, to design something tasteless, skintight, revealing, commanding and with a whiff of animal print about it, all over the top of one of those special UV map thingamajigs.

Anyone who's interested drop me a comment or shoot me a note with your take on pimpy domme attire. Bear in mind I'm a man on a limited budget, though. xD

HIT ME UP.

I've recently started delving into the dark arts of skin-texturing on SL, using little more than a bootleg copy of SAI and a rudimentary understanding of what about 10% of the tools on SAI actually -do-.

Anyone who's got any tips on helping patterns and tattoos fit to the UV maps, lemme know. I have the devil's own job trying to get everything to match the bodyshapes without causing seams. D:

IT'S MY MOTHA FUCKIN' MIX

https://youtu.be/eO3FwFc1jNE