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Posted 12 years agoA little something
Posted 12 years agoSO! as you may know, I now have Animal Crossing: New Leaf.
If you fancy playing with me my friend code:
5343-8608-1877I'm a weak individual and I should feel bad...
Posted 12 years agoSO
In my intense want for a 3DS and animal Crossing New leaf... I have just ordered them both with my shiny new paycheck I just got today. I'm now poor again.
Oh dear god what have I done?
In my intense want for a 3DS and animal Crossing New leaf... I have just ordered them both with my shiny new paycheck I just got today. I'm now poor again.
Oh dear god what have I done?
Cute chibi Refs! (Not by me!)
Posted 12 years agoPlease go here:
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4819736/
They are to DIE for and are utterly adorable!
I will give cookies..
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4819736/
They are to DIE for and are utterly adorable!
I will give cookies..
Fursona change...
Posted 12 years agoSo... It's soon, and I know I have art of my fursona... But I am leaning towards a bat now... I could keep TonppaSkunk as a character but I'm becoming unhappy with using her as my fursona... Anyway... Thoughts?
I guess my first journal will be whiny...
Posted 12 years agoWell, even though few watch me and this may seem attention seek-ish, but do not misunderstand. It was recommended I write down things like this. But I want to see if... Well... I'm not alone, I need some sense of normality. So what better way than to do this in an obscure place where few can see? Away from my family.
I'd like to begin with the fact that I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. A name to a previously unknown problem (to me) is somewhat soothing, but being aware seems no better. I can also say I suspect I am agoraphobic - I do miss therapy undue to crippling anxiety. I also cannot make doctor appointments or work for this reason.
Now, I am lucky to be with a wonderful boyfriend, who I intend to stay with. He is kind, loving and very supportive. Albeit it is an online relationship (we would both like this to change). This does not change how I feel at times. Empty. Lost. Confused. Unsure of who I am. I can see no good qualities in myself and I am plagued by a deep self hatred. I get frustrated at myself because my thoughts cycle. I want to go out, travel, go to furcons, create beautiful art. But due to my low self esteem... This becomes difficult... It stops me... I try to over come this. I get to the door and I freeze. I cry. I can't push myself further because who wants to see a weeping mess? I try to vent in some art.. But I get frustrated as... I strive for approval, I want it to look good. But I don't see it as good.
You may say that this is easy to overcome, may think that it's an utterly ridiculous issue (I have been told this), but you cannot simply understand until you've felt it. I hurt emotionally most of the time, and it takes nothing to trigger such pain. I fear rejection from society and so I have rejected society itself.
I hope someone can understand me. But if you can't... Well i must say I feel a little relieved to get this down.
~Tonppa the Spotted Skunk, may this community accept me as I have accepted it.
I'd like to begin with the fact that I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. A name to a previously unknown problem (to me) is somewhat soothing, but being aware seems no better. I can also say I suspect I am agoraphobic - I do miss therapy undue to crippling anxiety. I also cannot make doctor appointments or work for this reason.
Now, I am lucky to be with a wonderful boyfriend, who I intend to stay with. He is kind, loving and very supportive. Albeit it is an online relationship (we would both like this to change). This does not change how I feel at times. Empty. Lost. Confused. Unsure of who I am. I can see no good qualities in myself and I am plagued by a deep self hatred. I get frustrated at myself because my thoughts cycle. I want to go out, travel, go to furcons, create beautiful art. But due to my low self esteem... This becomes difficult... It stops me... I try to over come this. I get to the door and I freeze. I cry. I can't push myself further because who wants to see a weeping mess? I try to vent in some art.. But I get frustrated as... I strive for approval, I want it to look good. But I don't see it as good.
You may say that this is easy to overcome, may think that it's an utterly ridiculous issue (I have been told this), but you cannot simply understand until you've felt it. I hurt emotionally most of the time, and it takes nothing to trigger such pain. I fear rejection from society and so I have rejected society itself.
I hope someone can understand me. But if you can't... Well i must say I feel a little relieved to get this down.
~Tonppa the Spotted Skunk, may this community accept me as I have accepted it.
