Hi guys,

If you knew or used to be friends with Steven (VulpesChild/Vulpes Kaimana/Dr. Grudge) any of the other names he used to go by, he died from cancer a few weeks ago. I don't know if there's anyone else left on here that knew him aside from Tom or Bob, but I felt like I should make a post alerting folks. He was the second person I made friends with in high school and later my ex-boyfriend of 4-5 years. It tore me up when I found out, but...at least he's no longer in pain.


--MUR

Possible state lock-down, global pandemic, my office is closed until April, I have family members actively trying to ignore warnings from the CDC, can't buy basic groceries because of panic-buyers/hoarders/herd mentality...

This is a hell-world, right now, and I would like for it to stop please.

The only plus-side is that I get to work from home for quite some time, and I'm not expected to see anyone, so that's a plus-side for those of us with anxiety. Yay?



--THAT'S ENOUGH ALREADY--

For everyone that used to live with me, Boris died a few days ago. Vet said heart attack or possibly stroke. He lived to be about 15, which is a good long life. But I still miss him like crazy.

He was the chillest, most adaptable cat I've ever seen. I think my favorite memory is teaching him to come to you when you whistled "Katyusha," an old Russian folk song.

I keep expecting him to walk around the corner when I whistle it.




--MAN, LOSING A PET SUCKS--

So happy pride, everybody! Deagle and I just went to our first pride event in town. Felt nice to actually go to something instead of just saying "I'll go to a pride thing eventually."






--BI PRIDE, MOFOS--

So, after slipping on ice at the dog park, I sprained my wrist and fractured my elbow. I have limited mobility in my right arm, and all the videogames I want to play require two hands. Can anyone suggest some one-handed games to play aside from TBS and hentai games? I'm going to be sitting around like this for a while.

Y'all. Seriously. Don't slip on ice and try to catch yourself with your hand. I have never had an arm injury before, and doing everything one-handed is...annoying.

I'm so mad at myself. I saw the ice and said "don't be stupid and slip on that," and my dumb ass did somehow.

AND DON'T YOU FORGET IT


Happy Halloween, folks!





--IT'S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR--

From both of us bi bastards!


-- REPRESENT--

I had my tubal ligation done, and it went well! Came home yesterday, took pain meds and went to sleep. Woke up today feeling like a million bucks! Well...the gas escaping into my shoulder and the upper pelvic pain aren't exactly a picnic, but I am waaay better off than I was yesterday. I'm just grateful that there were no major complications. It's strange, but after having this done I feel...complete. Energetic. Whole. I have been wanting this operation since I was 16 - and exactly 16 years later, I finally get over my fear of surgery and get it done. Being a parent was never in the stars for me, and I'm so glad I am finally tied off. There may not ever be a 100% fool-proof method of sterility, but getting a tubal and having back-up birth control is the closest I can get. I still want to have a party to celebrate.

Anyways, I'll be camped out here for the next four days. I'm on Steam if anyone wants to chat while I heal up.







--ALL ABOARD THE NO-BABY EXPRESS - WOO WOO--

We got our puppy a month ago, and he's a mess. A cute one, though. I forgot how much work dogs are. Walking, playing, teething, vet visits...all that stuff. If any of you Louisville folk wanna drive to Shelbyville and come tire him out, be my guest. he has so much energy. One thing's for sure though - he is proof positive neither or us will ever be cut out to be parents. I'm tearing my hair out over a puppy. ;_;

Living here is still weird. It's like being in social limbo, since I'm not on Facebook anymore, and we live too far out for people to drop by. The hubs usually just stays out late on Friday to make up for not seeing our friends. While I do love my solitude, I still like chatting and watching cartoons with folk from time to time. And there are some places out here that have caught up with the 21st century, and there are some who don't seem to grasp concepts like...the internet. I still feel incredibly alienated surrounded by all this country/farmer stuff, and I really miss living near some of my favorite haunts...but I guess I gotta get used to it if I plan to live in a place with acreage one day. All I want is a mile between me and my neighbors, dammit. They are LOUD.

So my family reunion is coming up soon. I haven't seen my dad's family since my grandmother died, which was in the mid 1990s. I get the feeling my sister and I are going to get the side-eye because we've always been the weirdos of the family: sort of mid-paying jobs, neither of us want kids, etc. Well, I know for sure I don't want any, but I think my sis would totally do it if the right dude came along.

Conventions. We are wanting to go to the Fallout-themed Trotcon this year...but the hotel is full, and the nearest one is 30 minutes away. I wish we could find some other nearby furry convention, since I haven't been to one of those in a hot minute. Maybe there will be something nearby at some point. I know for sure I haven't met any of the new KYFur members, so maybe we'll have to crash one of the meetings or something. We are going to the Nerlouvia convention in November, so there's that.

That's about it for now. I'll try to think or more things to update on later.



--MAYBE I OUGHTA UPDATE MORE OFTEN--

I'm finally getting a salpingectomy! I had my consultation this week, and ever since I spoke with the doctor, who was very very considerate about my sterilization choices, I have been in what feels like the best mood ever. Haven't felt this good in a long time - especially since the election. But this is one good thing that's going to come out of the new year - no more fallopian tubes!! I'm so excited, I just wanna throw a party. Like, a ridiculously lavish one at a rented hoity toity venue with top-hats and champagne and little appetizers on silver trays.

And then we're going to put up a fence and get a PUPPY!

AGGGHHH *explodes into confetti*









--I SHOULD HAVE A PUPPY SHOWER WITH INVITATIONS AND EVERYTHING--

You know, before working in retail and seeing how awful human beings can be to each other. After quitting retail, I very very slowly began to like small aspects of it again - the lights, the decorations, the various green, white and red foods, all that. This year, I have been trying to fake some tiny wisp of Christmas spirit, but my acting skills aren't holding up and I just look like a crazy person. The fact that this has been a terrible year is kind of killing it for me. The fact that the next four years are going to be absolutely absurd is also doing in a lot of hopeful outlets for me. I know that's grim, but every time I try to convince myself that things are going to be fine, I see things like the media actively giving Neo Nazis a platform to share their opinions. I see other poor friends of mine scared that they will lose what little healthcare they have. I have several Muslim family members, and I'm terrified for their safety. I'm worried for my trans friends' safety. I'M scared to walk around my small rural town by myself. I'm trying to be all "ha ha, I ain't afraid of no ghosts"...but it's hard sometimes. The best that I can do is just keep doing my thing, I guess. And look into donating my time to the organizations that are going to need it the most in the coming year. Good thing I've got my sterilization appointment made, so that'll be one major task off my list.


So, yeah. Happy Yule. Be safe out there. If you have some of those racist-ass relatives, when you see them during the holidays, fight them.




--CHEERS--

I think it's safe to say that I'm terrified of the fact that this country is about to be run by a bunch of racist white nationalists. You know, being a black women in a small, rural town where there are only a handful of us about. My area has been pretty okay so far...but there's always that fear. I gotta be honest, I'm a bit scared to venture out by myself in this town. Hate crimes are a good motivator to just stay inside.


So, yeah. If you see my husband on TV avenging my death caused by some gun-toting Nazi militia redneck, please bail him out of jail.

WHERE

ARE

THE

TURIANS

DAMMIT




...other than that, hype train hype train hype train hype train!




--KICK ASS GO TO SPACE REPRESENT THE HUMAN RACE--

There are a lot of incredibly rude people out there.

The hubs and I have been thinking about getting Overwatch, and while he has no qualms about getting it, I can't really play games with strangers. Extreme anxiety, panic disorder, etc. But it really looks like fun, and the characters are so diverse and neat-looking.

Should I get it? Is it really that much fun? If you have strong opinions on this game, I'd like to hear them, because I don't know anyone that plays.

Something else that's fun: my dad, in his retirement, is collecting guns again...and he got this huge black powder cowboy pistol with a customized left-handed hip holster. He is now carrying it whenever he walks around in the house, and he puts it next to him when he's watching TV, like a kid with a new toy. It's obviously never loaded, but he likes to "be careful in case bandits show up in the back yard." My stepmom is beside herself. He used to be so serious all the time, and now he's a huge goofball. XDD

Also, if anyone is going to Trotcon, I'll be there - watching Battlefront Party make a mess of things. That's kind of my calling in life, you know...sitting in the corner and sarcastically commenting on shenanigans. I should just change my middle name to Sarcasm. Murphy Sarcasm Skullcrusher. Yeah, I like that.

...Don't tell me what to name myself I AM AN ADULT





--I SHOULD PROBABLY DRAW...BUT I'M TERRIBLE NOW--

Finally got to tell a bunch of kids to stay outta my yard.

+2 to adulthood.

Moving to a small town has revealed a few things. I haven't lived in a small town since I was a small kid, so these are things I didn't really know at the time:


-Key items will run out faster at the only grocery store in town (whoever is eating all the goddam cilantro - quit it)
-There is a church every hundred feet - no one needs this many churches
-Some city services are living in the dark ages and won't let you pay bills online/or with a debit card
-Everyone here is either a farmer, retailer worker or machinist
-Crime is low
-News is slow (every time I read the paper, one of the main articles is "Breaking news! We saw a bird today!" - I am NOT kidding)
-Out of 14,000 people, I swear that I am one of, maybe, 30 black women
-Bagel and I get "the stare" more often
-Penn Station is considered "fancy"


Just some things I've noticed. Tell you what though, it's pretty nice to actually own your own house. Although it still feels like I'm renting the place - doesn't quite feel like "home" home yet. I think this places needs some more skulls and a lava moat - that might make it cozier.




--I NEED A J.C. PENNY FOR HALLOWEEN STUFF--

"Look at all these people...

...enjoying their Fallout 4."


It's going to be a while before I can upgrade my computer enough to play the new Fallout. -.-




--I HATE ALL THE FUN YOU ARE HAVING--

WE GOT A HOUSE

It's small (which is fine for a starter home) and I didn't think it was going to happen that easily BUT IT DID

GIVE IT UP FOR SKULL FORT V.1 (I always wanted to name my house Skull Fort)

FINALLY SOME PEACE AND QUIET

YEAAAAHHH




--WHO'S READY FOR A HOUSE PARTY?!--

I am ready to NOT have neighbors, and I would like the cute house in Shelbyville that we're trying to make a closing on. Pleeease let this deal go through so that we can move the hell outta here and right into some peace and quiet.

PLLLEEAAAASE - I'll sacrifice anything you want, just get me out from underneath the nightmare child living above my head. ;_; I'm done with the whole "let's scream into the vents" game.



*sets up a sacrificial alter with broken CDs, dustbunnies, loose-leaf tea and old rusty keys*





--GIVE IT TO MEEEE--

Attention summer: get the hell outta here already. Most of my clothes are for the winter/fall, and I'm tired of feeling sick whenever I go outside. Also? Turn down the day star.

So the hubs and I got approved for a rural house loan! Looked at a house out in the sticks, but it turned out to be more like a compressed apartment in the middle of nowhere. The middle of nowhere part doesn't bother me, being as I dream of owning a house with some acreage for dogs and small gardens - it was just...nothing spoke to me out there. So it's back to searching. I'll tell you this much, though - as soon as we get a house, it's house party time.

On the sterilization search: the surgeon that did my buddy's tubal ligation doesn't appear to be practicing anymore...so it's back to looking at other doctors that won't give me any shit about getting my tubes tied/getting a hysterectomy. That's kind of a bummer. If I hear one more "but you're too young to want a tubal" I'm going to headbutt somebody. However, as soon as the recovery period is over, you can bet on another thing - that's right, a "we're not having a kid" party!

Also, I got a [sort-of] promotion - one of my bosses has been getting surgery/chemo off and on, so I learned how to cover for her. I also discovered that my company will pay for editors to learn other languages in order to work with foreign language databases, and my boss is recommending me for the payment program! Here's to getting back in Japanese/Spanish!

Other weird stuff: I was recently interviewed by yet another blogger about how black people are treated in both the nerdy/goth community. I might post the link to the article, if anyone's interested in reading that sort of thing.

So Louisville folks: any of you guys going to the Menagerie thing this Friday? I haven't been to a furry shindig in the longest time, so I'm pretty sure no one even remembers who I am (perhaps that's a good thing? I mean, I AM pretty lame). I haven't seen a lot of you in a while either, so..who knows. I might show up. (Fair warning for anyone that hates my rotten guts, heh heh)


That's enough for now.


--THIS HAS BEEN A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT - THANK YOU--

[which is pretty much everyone I know]

I hope you are doing well. =3

I hope the weather is just the way you like it.
I hope your money troubles get better.
I hope you can afford that thing you've been wanting forever.
I hope your convention trip went great.
I hope you and your sweetie of choice get to do something fun over the weekend.
I hope you get regular commissions, if you do that sort of thing.
I hope that stupid thing that never works right is functioning properly today.
I hope you hear from someone you care about.

I hope that you are enjoying your vacation, job, hobbies - whathaveyou.



...except for that one guy. He owes me five bucks.



--SO HI THERE HOW YA DOIN--

So I went back to my hometown after several years. While it's a small town in Tennessee, I never really noticed how beautiful the countryside was when I was a little kid. Just not something you really pay attention to, you know? Everything was going pretty well until we almost fucking killed some people.

Long story short, my stepmom, my dad, Deagle and I went out to the old property (where I was born) to go shooting. My dad still owns all of the property, which is several acres, and there are a number of "no trespassing - private property signs" around. People legally are supposed to stay out. So we're shooting into this dirt burm, and occasionally we hear "whoooah!" We figured it was some golfers on the land behind us yelling because we were messing up their shots. We're like, we don't give a googly-goddamn about their shots, that golf course borders the property and we have every right to be here! Again, I hear "whoooah!" a little louder. I say sounds like someone's getting a littler closer. So, Deagle fires off the my stepmom's pistol into a target after I get rid of my casings. Then we hear "whoa whoa, quit shooting, there are horses out here!" I look at dad, who's like "...there aren't any horses on my property anymore..." And lo and behold, two guys on horses wander in right where we had been shooting. Main guy's all smiles, saying "excuse us, we're lost! How do we get to the main road?" Second guy looks hella rattled and says "we run the equine training place across the road." We say "sorry about that, glad we didn't kill anyone, thought it was the golfers getting mad at us or something" and direct the guys to the road. After they're gone, dad says "they weren't lost. If you live across the road, you probably know the area. And you PROBABLY know that you're trespassing on private property." So, we were pretty sure that they were used to riding through that forest all the time, while trespassing, and figured they oughta lie to make sure they get out alive.

Lucky for them, I can't shoot for shit.

So, what else have I been doing:

-Agreeing to proofread a videogame script by a black videogame designer
-I was interviewed about what it's like being a black nerd/horror fan in a primarily white-centered world
-Playing a LOT of videogames
-Talking with my bosses about the gaming database
-Reading up about gaming psychology/game research
-Shadowboxing
-EKGs, stress tests, blood work - all that crap
-Researching therapists
-Wistfully looking at houses so that we can move out of apartments forever
-Co-dealing with insurance after some moron rear-ended the car in February
-Training a new editor at work
-Trying to make a decision on sterilization methods/date
-Doodling...badly

At that's mostly it. Aside from trying to avoid my mother-in-law, who is the most over-bearing, "I won't listen to anyone unless I get my way" woman I have ever met.

For the most part, things are alright. I don't have any major responsibilities outside of the normal bills/pets/job stuff, and it's nice to be able to sleep in on the weekends. Hurray for adulthood.

It would be nicer, though, if that goddamn ostrich baby upstairs would stop literally screaming next to the vents, though.

Maybe I should update this thing more often. Feels nice to write out thoughts and whatnot.


--MAMA I ALMOST KILLED A MAN--

I have got to get out of this apartment complex. People drumming at my door at 12 at night for "fun," the child upstairs literally screaming at the vents and knocking stuff off of the ceiling by stomping, teenagers looking over the porch, kids banging on my window to scare the cats, creepy drunk hallway guy, neighbors' outdoor cats yowling at the doors at night...I mean, it could always be worse, but I've been ready to have my own house for years.

I can't wait until I can afford some property in the goddamn country where the closest neighbor is hundreds of feet away. Sucks that nearly all of the house money got sucked into having to buy a new car, thanks to that idiot wrecking our previous one. Thanks, old lady, for rear-ending the Jetta into oblivion. I mean, I'm glad we're alive and all, but that shithead made the last couple of months VERY difficult.

So...good stuff? I doodled something. And I have toast. So that's a neat. I guess that's all for now.



--BACK TO CARTOONS AND RESEARCHING STERILIZATION OPTIONS*

I found a flash website that lets you play Triple Triad from FF8.

That makes me happy. That was the best in-game distraction ever.

Alright, back to whatever it was you were doing.



--JUST NO RANDOM RULE - NO ONE LIKES THE RANDOM RULE--