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What RadioShack's Bankruptcy Means To Me
General | Posted 10 years agoI am a manager in a RadioShack store...but I don't work for RadioShack. I actually work for a pharmacy, as the manager of the RadioShack department.
Our store is an independent RadioShack Franchise dealer. We're what's known as a "store within a store". Basically, we have a franchise agreement with RadioShack that allows us the right to use their name on our store, and sell their products in our store. They're pretty much nothing more than a supplier of inventory to us. This is actually how a lot of RadioShack stores are in small towns. Although standalone RadioShack Franchise stores do exist, they're typically integrated into pharmacies, hardware stores, or office supply stores.
The franchise stores have actually been fairly lucky during RadioShack's bankruptcy process. Aside from interruptions in receiving new inventory, the bankruptcy so far has actually had a minimal effect on us. Even when the time comes that we are no longer able to receive any inventory from RadioShack and/or are required to stop using the RadioShack name, we have the freedom to simply begin ordering inventory from alternate suppliers. Thus, aside from a change in the name of our store and a few changes in our inventory, it'll pretty much continue to be business as normal for us. I'll still be employed as a manager, but it'll be for the "electronics department", not the "RadioShack department". We'll continue to sell electronics. I'll continue to help customers with their technological problems, answer their questions, and provide them the service they need.
Contrast this to the corporate-owned RadioShack stores. Aside from the lucky few that managed to get included in the Sprint partnership agreement, they are all closing. Several thousand of them. To be honest with you...this makes me kinda sad.
Having worked in a franchise store has given me a sort of hybrid "inside outsider" view of RadioShack during the past eight years of their downfall. We franchise stores were somewhat insulated from a lot of the bad management that occurred at corporate levels, but we were not immune to it. I recognize, acknowledge and accept that RadioShack had flaws...many, MANY flaws. Unlike some corporate employees, I won't try to excuse or downplay them, because not being an employee for the corporate side means I haven't been made to drink the RadioShack Kool-Aid and spout the RadioShack Gospel. That said, I still feel some respect for RadioShack, and sadness at the end having arrived like this. I've come to respect what the company stands for...or at least attempted to stand for. Yet, not being directly attached to RadioShack in a corporate sense still allows me to have this bit of an outsider's perspective into what has been happening here.
Admittedly, most of my sad feelings about RadioShack's bankruptcy have a tinge of nostalgia to them. When I was young, I loved going to the local RadioShack store, the one that existed here before the owners retired and the pharmacy bought out their franchise agreement. Whenever I saw a RadioShack store in a mall, I had to go in and look around. As a nerd, it was an awesome place to me. So, despite acknowledging the numerous problems RadioShack had, and actually deriving a little bit of occasional amusement from having a front-row seat to watching them fall into shambles...I truly am sad about the end of this once-awesome company.
Don't worry about me or my future employment. As I said, I don't work for RadioShack, I work for the pharmacy in the RadioShack department, and plans are already in progress to transition us over to alternate suppliers. My employment will continue. I will be fine. I just wanted to share my thoughts on this situation. Take care. :3
-Torin
Our store is an independent RadioShack Franchise dealer. We're what's known as a "store within a store". Basically, we have a franchise agreement with RadioShack that allows us the right to use their name on our store, and sell their products in our store. They're pretty much nothing more than a supplier of inventory to us. This is actually how a lot of RadioShack stores are in small towns. Although standalone RadioShack Franchise stores do exist, they're typically integrated into pharmacies, hardware stores, or office supply stores.
The franchise stores have actually been fairly lucky during RadioShack's bankruptcy process. Aside from interruptions in receiving new inventory, the bankruptcy so far has actually had a minimal effect on us. Even when the time comes that we are no longer able to receive any inventory from RadioShack and/or are required to stop using the RadioShack name, we have the freedom to simply begin ordering inventory from alternate suppliers. Thus, aside from a change in the name of our store and a few changes in our inventory, it'll pretty much continue to be business as normal for us. I'll still be employed as a manager, but it'll be for the "electronics department", not the "RadioShack department". We'll continue to sell electronics. I'll continue to help customers with their technological problems, answer their questions, and provide them the service they need.
Contrast this to the corporate-owned RadioShack stores. Aside from the lucky few that managed to get included in the Sprint partnership agreement, they are all closing. Several thousand of them. To be honest with you...this makes me kinda sad.
Having worked in a franchise store has given me a sort of hybrid "inside outsider" view of RadioShack during the past eight years of their downfall. We franchise stores were somewhat insulated from a lot of the bad management that occurred at corporate levels, but we were not immune to it. I recognize, acknowledge and accept that RadioShack had flaws...many, MANY flaws. Unlike some corporate employees, I won't try to excuse or downplay them, because not being an employee for the corporate side means I haven't been made to drink the RadioShack Kool-Aid and spout the RadioShack Gospel. That said, I still feel some respect for RadioShack, and sadness at the end having arrived like this. I've come to respect what the company stands for...or at least attempted to stand for. Yet, not being directly attached to RadioShack in a corporate sense still allows me to have this bit of an outsider's perspective into what has been happening here.
Admittedly, most of my sad feelings about RadioShack's bankruptcy have a tinge of nostalgia to them. When I was young, I loved going to the local RadioShack store, the one that existed here before the owners retired and the pharmacy bought out their franchise agreement. Whenever I saw a RadioShack store in a mall, I had to go in and look around. As a nerd, it was an awesome place to me. So, despite acknowledging the numerous problems RadioShack had, and actually deriving a little bit of occasional amusement from having a front-row seat to watching them fall into shambles...I truly am sad about the end of this once-awesome company.
Don't worry about me or my future employment. As I said, I don't work for RadioShack, I work for the pharmacy in the RadioShack department, and plans are already in progress to transition us over to alternate suppliers. My employment will continue. I will be fine. I just wanted to share my thoughts on this situation. Take care. :3
-Torin
Whatever happened to kangaroo-boy?
General | Posted 10 years agoLike the title says, whatever happened to 
kangaroo-boy? His account is disabled and from what I can see of it it's been inactive for four years. I ask because I wish to contact him in regards to some art he has done for me in the past.
kangaroo-boy? His account is disabled and from what I can see of it it's been inactive for four years. I ask because I wish to contact him in regards to some art he has done for me in the past.MCFC 2015 Meme
General | Posted 10 years agoAnd now, for the obligatory "upcoming-con-that-I'll-be-attending-Q&A" meme. XD
MOTOR CITY FURRY CON 2015
What is your name?
Torin Darkflight, or just Torin. :3
Where are you staying?
Friend's house in West Bloomfield (About 20min from the hotel)
What day are you getting there?
Arriving in Michigan Monday the 23rd, gonna spend a few days before the con doing stuff with my friend :3
Who will you be rooming with?
No one
Who will you hang out with during the convention?
Along with my fellow Iowa furs, I WANT to hang out with other dragons and/or fellow otherkin. But otherwise, shyness pending I'd like to hang out with just about anyone.
Are there any panels you might be attending?
Charity auction b/c I'm donating something, and I also saw a Sci-Fi themed panel during my quick look at the schedule online. Otherwise I'll likely end up deciding on a day-by-day basis.
Are you attending any stage or public performances?
Most likely, but only as a member of the audience.
Will you be suiting?
I don't have a fursuit.
Which suit(s) will you be bringing?
See above
Do you do free art?
I don't consider myself good enough of an artist to feel comfortable drawing for others. Specifically, I feel that my current artistic methods are wholly incompatible with producing a custom-requested image that would ultimately meet the expectations of the requester or comissioner, unless they by unlikely chance happen to fall within the narrow scope of my current skills and abilities...I.E. more Spyro art that looks far too similar to my old art. :p
Do you do trades?
See above
Do you do badges?
See above
Do you do commissions?
See above
What is your gender?
Male
How tall are you?
5'6", short. :p
Are you taken? Are you looking for a 'mate'?
I am not taken, but currently not looking for a mate. I'm always looking for new friends tho! :3
Can I talk to you?
Although I am excruciatingly shy, I have no trouble with people approaching and talking to me. I'll just apologize ahead of time in case I'm not very talkative in response. It's not lack of interest, I promise you that. It's my shyness combined with often not knowing what to say.
Can I touch you?
Touch me how? X3 Hugs and snuggles are ok. Sex is a big maybe, but I don't expect it to happen, and even if it does it'll be quite limited in scope (It would depend heavily on my mood at the time). I will confess to a desire for stuff related to my kinks to occur (especially with other dragons or a gryphon, but any guy really), but I know this is highly unlikely to occur. If somehow it DOES occur though, it will be of a very limited fashion (I shall not elaborate what specifically I am wanting here).
How can I find you?
I'll be the one with a classic Spyro plushie attached to his backpack. XD Otherwise I'll be wearing a badge. :3
Can I visit your room?
I'm not staying at the hotel, so this isn't possible. Sorry.
Can I buy you drinks?
Only if it's non-alcoholic and low sugar/sugar free (Water, diet soft drinks, certain juices, etc). I'm diabetic so can't have sugary drinks, and alcohol reacts quite badly with my cardiac meds.
Can I give you stuff?
Sure, if you'd like. Depending on what it is though, I might not have anything suitable to give you in return right at that moment in time.
Can I hug or snuggle with you?
Of course you can hug me! Despite my shyness I LOVE hugs! :D Snuggle will depend on my mood at the time, but more likely than not I'll allow it (I like snuggles, but my shyness can hold me back).
Are you nice?
Yes, but again, my shyness can make me seem anti-social at times. I apologize for this, it is beyond my control.
How long are you going?
I'll be at the con proper all three days, but I'll be in Michigan the 23rd-30th.
Do you have an artist table?
No
Will you have art in the Art Show? General or Adult sections?
No
If I see you, how should I get your attention?
Approach me from the front. Calling my name across the room, especially a crowded one, would potentially be futile because I'm partially deaf and likely wouldn't hear you.
Where will you be most of the time during the day/s?
Inside or within walking distance of the hotel most likely. I'm not familiar with the city and likely won't want to move my car while at the hotel out of fear of losing my parking spot. :x
What/where will you be eating?
Aside from perhaps the sponsor's lounge, I do not know yet. My diet limits my options when it comes to eating out.
Can I come with you for food/fun/etc?
If my plans allow for it, then sure! :3
Can I look in your sketchbook?
I do not have a sketchbook, I am a purely digital artist. I have a binder with printed copies of my art that also includes blank (regular printer) paper in it, but I can't really call it a sketchbook. Regardless, I won't have it with me anyway. :p
Can I draw in your sketchbook?
See above.
Can I take your picture?
I don't mind, as long as I don't look like a derp in it. XD
What's your goal(s) for the con this year?
Give/receive more hugs! Also have fun and meet more new furs. Lastly, continue to better myself socially. :3
MOTOR CITY FURRY CON 2015
What is your name?
Torin Darkflight, or just Torin. :3
Where are you staying?
Friend's house in West Bloomfield (About 20min from the hotel)
What day are you getting there?
Arriving in Michigan Monday the 23rd, gonna spend a few days before the con doing stuff with my friend :3
Who will you be rooming with?
No one
Who will you hang out with during the convention?
Along with my fellow Iowa furs, I WANT to hang out with other dragons and/or fellow otherkin. But otherwise, shyness pending I'd like to hang out with just about anyone.
Are there any panels you might be attending?
Charity auction b/c I'm donating something, and I also saw a Sci-Fi themed panel during my quick look at the schedule online. Otherwise I'll likely end up deciding on a day-by-day basis.
Are you attending any stage or public performances?
Most likely, but only as a member of the audience.
Will you be suiting?
I don't have a fursuit.
Which suit(s) will you be bringing?
See above
Do you do free art?
I don't consider myself good enough of an artist to feel comfortable drawing for others. Specifically, I feel that my current artistic methods are wholly incompatible with producing a custom-requested image that would ultimately meet the expectations of the requester or comissioner, unless they by unlikely chance happen to fall within the narrow scope of my current skills and abilities...I.E. more Spyro art that looks far too similar to my old art. :p
Do you do trades?
See above
Do you do badges?
See above
Do you do commissions?
See above
What is your gender?
Male
How tall are you?
5'6", short. :p
Are you taken? Are you looking for a 'mate'?
I am not taken, but currently not looking for a mate. I'm always looking for new friends tho! :3
Can I talk to you?
Although I am excruciatingly shy, I have no trouble with people approaching and talking to me. I'll just apologize ahead of time in case I'm not very talkative in response. It's not lack of interest, I promise you that. It's my shyness combined with often not knowing what to say.
Can I touch you?
Touch me how? X3 Hugs and snuggles are ok. Sex is a big maybe, but I don't expect it to happen, and even if it does it'll be quite limited in scope (It would depend heavily on my mood at the time). I will confess to a desire for stuff related to my kinks to occur (especially with other dragons or a gryphon, but any guy really), but I know this is highly unlikely to occur. If somehow it DOES occur though, it will be of a very limited fashion (I shall not elaborate what specifically I am wanting here).
How can I find you?
I'll be the one with a classic Spyro plushie attached to his backpack. XD Otherwise I'll be wearing a badge. :3
Can I visit your room?
I'm not staying at the hotel, so this isn't possible. Sorry.
Can I buy you drinks?
Only if it's non-alcoholic and low sugar/sugar free (Water, diet soft drinks, certain juices, etc). I'm diabetic so can't have sugary drinks, and alcohol reacts quite badly with my cardiac meds.
Can I give you stuff?
Sure, if you'd like. Depending on what it is though, I might not have anything suitable to give you in return right at that moment in time.
Can I hug or snuggle with you?
Of course you can hug me! Despite my shyness I LOVE hugs! :D Snuggle will depend on my mood at the time, but more likely than not I'll allow it (I like snuggles, but my shyness can hold me back).
Are you nice?
Yes, but again, my shyness can make me seem anti-social at times. I apologize for this, it is beyond my control.
How long are you going?
I'll be at the con proper all three days, but I'll be in Michigan the 23rd-30th.
Do you have an artist table?
No
Will you have art in the Art Show? General or Adult sections?
No
If I see you, how should I get your attention?
Approach me from the front. Calling my name across the room, especially a crowded one, would potentially be futile because I'm partially deaf and likely wouldn't hear you.
Where will you be most of the time during the day/s?
Inside or within walking distance of the hotel most likely. I'm not familiar with the city and likely won't want to move my car while at the hotel out of fear of losing my parking spot. :x
What/where will you be eating?
Aside from perhaps the sponsor's lounge, I do not know yet. My diet limits my options when it comes to eating out.
Can I come with you for food/fun/etc?
If my plans allow for it, then sure! :3
Can I look in your sketchbook?
I do not have a sketchbook, I am a purely digital artist. I have a binder with printed copies of my art that also includes blank (regular printer) paper in it, but I can't really call it a sketchbook. Regardless, I won't have it with me anyway. :p
Can I draw in your sketchbook?
See above.
Can I take your picture?
I don't mind, as long as I don't look like a derp in it. XD
What's your goal(s) for the con this year?
Give/receive more hugs! Also have fun and meet more new furs. Lastly, continue to better myself socially. :3
A Public Service Announcement about Kinks/Fetishes
General | Posted 11 years agoPlease note the following.
1. Just because "Kink A" sometimes includes aspects of "Kink B", that doesn't automatically mean that someone who enjoys "Kink A" also enjoys "Kink B", or vice-versa.
Example: I am into scat and watersports, including pants/underwear/shorts messing. But, I am NOT into diapers. Never have been, never will be. Nothing against anyone who is into it, but diapers just don't do anything for me.
Another example: It's not uncommon for people who are into diapers to actually dislike scat.
2. Just because someone enjoys a specific kink, that doesn't mean they're required to enjoy all aspects/varities of that kink, nor follow a set of rules or guidelines stating HOW they must enjoy it.
Example: I like scat, but 99% of the time I don't care for hyper or macro. Being into scat doesn't mean I'm obligated to like all aspects of it.
Another example: I like seeing art or reading stories of vore, but I do not care to RP it. I like vore only as an observer, not a participant. Deriving enjoyment from being an observer of vore doesn't mean I'm obligated to participate in a vore RP.
To each their own. Within legal boundaries, you're allowed to enjoy whatever you want however you want. :3
1. Just because "Kink A" sometimes includes aspects of "Kink B", that doesn't automatically mean that someone who enjoys "Kink A" also enjoys "Kink B", or vice-versa.
Example: I am into scat and watersports, including pants/underwear/shorts messing. But, I am NOT into diapers. Never have been, never will be. Nothing against anyone who is into it, but diapers just don't do anything for me.
Another example: It's not uncommon for people who are into diapers to actually dislike scat.
2. Just because someone enjoys a specific kink, that doesn't mean they're required to enjoy all aspects/varities of that kink, nor follow a set of rules or guidelines stating HOW they must enjoy it.
Example: I like scat, but 99% of the time I don't care for hyper or macro. Being into scat doesn't mean I'm obligated to like all aspects of it.
Another example: I like seeing art or reading stories of vore, but I do not care to RP it. I like vore only as an observer, not a participant. Deriving enjoyment from being an observer of vore doesn't mean I'm obligated to participate in a vore RP.
To each their own. Within legal boundaries, you're allowed to enjoy whatever you want however you want. :3
Dragon dreams
General | Posted 11 years agoWarning: very long journal. tl;dr summary - I've had lots of dragon dreams and want to know what they mean.
A journal that
arashiin posted regarding a dragonkin-related dream earlier today got me thinking about sharing the dreams I have had. Luckily, I logged most of them for future reference, hoping someday to learn their meanings.
I have copied and pasted these as entered directly from my dream logs. I did not change anything except for obscuring names as needed. The notes that immediately follow the dates are being added by me in the present to help clarify some things. If anyone, especially my fellow kin, has any input on these dreams, feel free to offer your thoughts.
==========================================================
September 9, 2002 (NOTE: I censored the names in this one because the people involved have since disowned themselves from being dragons and they may not wish to be mentioned by name in this manner. At the time I had this dream, I was mated to one of the people who appeared in the dream, thus the reference to "my love".)
I awoke, finding myself being pushed in a wheelchair. Whoever was pushing me then spoke. I don't remember exactly what they said, but whatever it was made me realize where I was: in a small community-type area, actually more like a country club style resort, small but still nice. It was meant for those who have a dragon soul.
After a while, the wheelchair stopped to allow me to stand. I did so, but very dizzily. Whatever made me fall asleep was still affecting me. As I stood there weakly, whoever was pushing the wheelchair told me, "Lxx and the others are sitting outside." I looked out the window and saw Lxx, Kxx and Kxxx sitting at a picnic table. After my dizziness passed, I went outdoors to be with them.
However, before I got to where they were, I was intercepted by a small group of people I didn't know. They were talking about some type of initiation or something which I needed to go through before meeting any other dragons, that I wasn't ready to be with them yet, so on and so forth. It consisted of a test of morals, and also having part of my human family there with me. I had to pass BOTH tests before I would be allowed to meet with them.
The morals test occurred almost immediately. I found a watch belonging to someone else. It had their name scratched on the back, a name I recognized as being a dragon name. If I returned it to the owner or someone else who could get it back to them, I passed. If I kept it myself, I failed. Well, I returned it to one of the people coordinating my initiation, and I passed the morals test.
Then came the family test. I remember my grandmother, oldest brother, his wife and their two kids. I didn't understand what this was intended to do, but I went along with it anyway. I tried to make it through, but something happened. I got in an argument with my "grandmother" after realizing she wasn't real. I knew she wasn't real because she spoke as if my mother were still alive when I knew she wasn't. Then I played with my youngest niece, but I was so impatient to be with Lxx that I played with her for a very short time, maybe 10 seconds at the most.
Then, I learned my fate: my argument with my "grandmother" and the very short time I spent with my "niece" made me fail the family test, which meant that I failed the initiation...I wasn't allowed to be with other dragons. I sadly walked out into the rain, looking over to where Lxx, Kxx and Kxxx had been sitting. They weren't there. They had returned home. I stood against a tree, the cold rain falling down onto me as I cried. I would never get to be with my love...
==========================================================
December 3, 2003 (NOTE: The names of family members have been censored)
I had a dream last night which I want to share before I forget what happened. This is perhaps one of the clearest dreams I can remember in a long time. It was a lengthy dream in which I remember being both terrified at one point, and overjoyed at another. Some parts are strange, some not, but overall it is...well, I don't know what to think of it. I'll tell as much as I can remember, leaving out no details.
The dream started with me sitting at what I imagine was a public internet terminal somewhere outdoors, like at the bottom of a moss-covered cliff. There was no one else around me, so I was able to get on my IRC chats on Draconic and other places/websites without worry.
As I was sitting there typing to my friends, I was suddenly attacked. I don't remember the attack itself, because all I remember is suddenly going from sitting in front of the computer to kneeling on the ground with at least two men around me. They were hunting for dragons...including dragons that have taken human form, something I was. I don't remember how I learned that, but I knew it, STRONGLY knew it.
The men connected a device to my head, then mentioned something about punishment. Just then, I felt several thousand volts course through my body from the device on my head. I screamed with extreme pain. They kept the device activated for what felt like 20 seconds until they finally turned it off.
After the demonstration of how they can hurt me, one of the men began to interrogate me while the other went over to the computer I was using earlier, where all the IRC chats and websites I was visiting were still open. Apparently he was looking for evidence in my chats and surfing habits to my draconity...and I knew it was there. I was terrified.
The man doing the interrogation was asking me questions which supposedly dragons would answer differently than humans. He asked me a question about the color spectrum, supposedly relating to how dragons see differently than humans. I don't remember the exact question, but it dealt with the full range, including the colors beyond the visible range. I sat there on my knees, too afraid to answer.
Upon noting my hesitation to answer, the man activated the punishment device again, waves of high-voltage electricity flowing through my body, the setting higher than before. He kept it activated and he commanded me to answer the question. While being nearly electrocuted, I somehow managed to spit out with extreme difficulty "I don't know! But I do know the standard colors for the color spectrum!" Continuing to shock me, the man then asked me to name the colors. I struggled to say them.
"Red.....orange.....yellow.....green.....blue...........violet!"
I hesitated a few seconds between blue and violet, because that's where indigo used to go. But, I left it out since it usually isn't considered a part of the color spectrum anymore. However, I immediately realized I should at least mention indigo so they wouldn't be able to catch on that I really was a dragon. Still being shocked, I then immediately blurted out "But indigo used to...be a color too...somewhere between blue and violet......but they removed it!"
Apparently happy with my response, the man finally turned off the punishment device, and I collapsed to the ground. I don't remember seeing or hearing it, but the other man then came back from the computer. He must have found evidence that I was a dragon, because the punishment device was then turned on a third time, full power, and left on for a long time. While it was on, I remember screaming not only in agony, but also with my thoughts "Help me! Please...help me!" I was trying to contact the other dragons I knew, I needed their help.
The dream then changed to me laying there on the ground. The men were gone, the device removed from my head, but I just laid there, not moving, hesitant to breathe. I was pretending to be dead so the men wouldn't bother me anymore in case they were still around. I laid there, still, for maybe two or three minutes before the dream changed again.
I was now laying in what appeared to be a rough-made coffin that felt to be on wheels. They must have thought I was dead, and were now going to dispose of me. I don't know how I figured it out or how I was able to do it, but I then found myself able to turn myself invisible and pass through the coffin until I was outside it. There was a line of people, including the two bad guys, pulling my coffin to who knows where. At that time, they were passing through a junk yard.
While invisibly standing there watching the people, I suddenly saw a brown minivan pull into the junkyard. It drove right in front of me, and I saw the people in it. It was my oldest brother Axxx, his wife Kxxxxxxx, and Kxxxxxxx's father Bxxx. Were they planning a rescue, knowing I really wasn't dead? I didn't know, but they drove around to the back side of the junkyard where they wouldn't be seen.
Noticing that the people were stopping, supposedly to check the coffin, I ran back to the coffin, laid back down in it and became visible again, laying there pretending to be dead as the lid was opened and the bad guys looked in. Apparently satisfied, they closed the lid and the line began moving again.
Looking out through a crack in the side of the coffin, I suddenly saw Bxxx standing there, motioning in a "come with me" sense. I knew it then, they were here to rescue me. Apparently he knew I could make myself turn invisible and wouldn't be seen escaping.
After hesitating to make absolutely sure I wouldn't be seen, I turned myself insivible and jumped through the side of the coffin. Although the other people couldn't see me, I knew Bxxx could because he watched me and gave the "follow me" motion again, more strongly this time, then turned and ran through a door into a small building. I ran as fast as I could after him, but something was wrong. Apparently I became visible before I made it to the door, because suddenly I heard the two men who attacked me chasing after me.
I managed to make it into the building, where I slammed the door shut. I went down a short hall through two more doors which I slammed shut and locked, until I ended up in a small shower bathroom with Axxx, Kxxxxxxx and Bxxx. I turned to Bxxx, who then handed me a shotgun which for some reason was invisible, but quite real. I took up a position in one of the showers, listening. We all waited.
For maybe 20 seconds, nothing happened. Then suddenly, pounding on the door. They were trying to kick it in. I pulled back on the shotgun's lever and raised it up, ready to fire when needed. After several attempts to kick it in, I heard the sound of the door slamming open. Upon hearing that, I immediately swung out of the shower and fired the shotgun twice. I didn't see the end result, but apparently I hit both men, and they were dead.
Just as we were starting to celebrate, a black-haired woman came running into the bathroom screaming insanely. I thought she was going to kill one or all of us, so I shot again. Her body flew into the other shower and slumped to the floor just out of sight. In perhaps the only moment of humor in the entire dream, Kxxxxxxx looked into the shower and exclaimed "You just killed Connie Chung!"
I don't remember how, but we learned that the other bad people who wanted me dead were either also killed or had run away. We began celebrating, cheering, clapping and such. I wasn't in danger anymore. During the celebration, Torin appeared, my true dragon self in a separate body from mine. I was surprised to see him, but very glad that he was there. He was invisible, but I knew he was there. I hugged him tight and kissed him on the cheek, then said "I love you Torin". Although I am Torin, he was Torin too, separately, and I loved him as a friend. I felt safe with him there.
With my arms wrapped around Torin's dragon neck in a hug, the dream ended.
==========================================================
November 30, 2005 (NOTE: This dream seemingly isn't related to my dragonkin self, but I still felt it as being a significant dream worth sharing)
I had a rather doomsday-type dream last night. Some of it doesn't make sense, but overall...it was oddly clear...
It starts off a few years into the near future (I'd say around 2010 or such) with me helping to translate some ancient writings left over from a past destroyed civilization. I'm entering the various writings into a computer to translate them. I translate a few various phrases, nothing of any major importance. But, suddenly, after entering one line, the computer displays the following translated text:
"Be warned all who read this - Lael is coming!"
In the reality of my dream, Lael is a well-known and greatly feared name. He is a very large green dragon (How large? Think several thousand feet)...and he is a destroyer. The legend goes that Lael had destroyed most of the life and all man-made construction on Earth in the past, and supposedly he did so several times on a regular basis, returning every few thousand years to do it again. The legend continues that Lael had been imprisoned during the last attack (How he was imprisoned is not revealed in the dream), never to threaten the world again. A legend is just what Lael is believed to be, not real, so although the name is still feared, it is "common knowledge" that Lael never did exist...
...or so was thought.
Although the actual scene is not shown in the dream, there is reference to me remembering in the dream an expedition a short time before, where I came across an ancient item and did something to it, causing it to release some sort of energy. Key parts of this memory, combined with the warning I had translated, made me realize that said ancient item was Lael's prison, and said energy was Lael.
...Lael is real, he is free, I unknowingly let him free.
Now, the legend also tells the prophecy of Lael's impending attack. The prophecy goes as follows: when Lael is coming, the world will "turn to stone". The people destined to die at the hands of Lael will then "be marked". Finally, Lael will return, killing the marked people, and destroying every man-made structure on the face of the Earth.
Realizing that Lael was real and free by my own fault, and that he would most likely attack seeking revenge for being imprisoned, I begin trying to warn my colleagues and other people. But, none of them believe me. They all insist that Lael is not real, that I am crazy...
...then the first part of the prophecy happens.
Reports from all over the world begin to come in about large boulders and outcroppings of stone randomly appearing in places they did not exist before. Realizing what is happening, I try harder to warn people, but eventually I am outcast and enter hiding in my own home with my family. When stone begins appearing in our own yard, I try to warn my family, but they too don't believe me. Although they don't believe me, they at least (Albeit reluctantly) heed my warnings and begin preparing for Lael's attack.
We are outside, preparing for the attack. While doing so, we spot a car driving down the gravel road towards our place. It's not uncommon for cars to drive down the road by our place, but there was something unusual about this car. The people in it...they seem to be under hypnotic control, and they're carrying guns. We hide behind my van, I am laying on the ground trying to hide behind the back wheel. Watching through a small gap, I see the car stop along the road next to our place. They begin scanning, looking for us. I'm hoping they don't spot us, but unfortunately, they do.
With perfect precision, they fire through the small gaps under the van...but not bullets, they're darts. One hits me in my leg, and I feel it inject something into me. It doesn't make me feel tired though, so it's not a tranquilizer. As I see darts hit the rest of my family, I suddenly realize...we are being marked for death. This is the second part of the Lael prophecy. There must be something in the darts which allows Lael to find those marked, even if they are hiding, so he can kill them. In a moment of intense fear, I yank the dart out of my leg before it finishes injection, and throw it at one of the people in the car. It hits them in the neck, and injects into them. At least they'll go with us.
We run into the back yard, trying to hide from the people in the car. As the rest of my family tries to get through the confusion of what is going on, the sky begins to darken. There is a slight rumbling noise, almost like distant thunder. I didn't need to look, because I knew what was happening...
...Lael was coming, and he was almost here.
The dream ended and I woke up before Lael actually arrived.
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June 30, 2007 (NOTE: I mention in this log entry not knowing any dragons named "Talon" in the manner represented in the dream. I used to know someone who RPed as a dragon named Talon back in the late 90s, but to the best of my knowledge they were not otherkin, and at the very least I know they weren't the cuddly type, thus the "in the manner represented" qualifier I used to exclude them. Also, it is purely speculation when I mention the name Rangarig in a possible attempt to resolve to the name "Rang". I am not asserting as fact that Rang was actually Rangarig or that Rangarig is otherkin, I truly don't know if he is or not.)
I was following a couple people in some sort of apartment building. The one person I didn't know, but the other I knew as being an otherkin dragon, known by the name "Rang" (Perhaps Rangarig the artist? I don't think he's otherkin though). One of them (I don't remember which) is carrying a large parcel of some sort. I'm kinda lagging behind them, trying to keep up. They get on an elevator that goes up to the next floor, but I don't get to it in time, so instead I take the stairs. By the time I get up the stairs though, they are gone, the only people I see walking through the hall are strangers. I know they are there somewhere though, so I begin walking down the hallway, looking into the various rooms.
The apartment building has now transformed into a mix of a school and factory of some sort. It had the feel and emotional atmosphere of a school, but the physical appearance and nuances of a factory. Anyway, all the way to the end of the hall on the right side, I find a very large room, very representative of the school/factory mix the building had taken on. I walk around the room, cornering around large storage cabinets, workbenches and machinery, looking at the hundreds (perhaps thousands) of other people who are in there sitting at various tables and desks. I eventually find the two I was following, Rang and the other person are sitting at a large wooden table with some other people. Rang is the only one I recognize, the rest are strangers to me, but I know I belong there, that it has something to do with being an otherkin dragon. I sit down and join in on whatever they were talking about.
The scene changes. Now we are outside in a moderate-sized city. More specifically, we are now in part of Marion/Cedar Rapids, Iowa. I am standing outside a car filled with two or three other people. I don't know who they are, but I also know them to be otherkin dragons like me. Actually, I do know one of them, he goes by the name "Talon" (IRL, I do not know any dragons named "Talon", at least not in the manner represented in the dream). He seems to be the "lovingest" of the group, the kind of person you would find in a "dragon snuggle pile". As I stand there next to the car, he leans out the window and rests his head on my shoulder, keeping it there for several minutes. Now, I don't know Talon all that much (Perhaps this was my first time meeting him, I get that feeling thinking back on the dream), but being a dragon myself, I understand the occasional desire to cuddle and stuff, so I allow it.
I asked if Rang was there. The others responded that he wasn't, but he should be coming soon (Unfortunately, he never showed up again in the dream beyond the two earlier appearances). After a short while, someone else comes up to us and chuckles softly, speaking to Talon something along the lines of "Aww, is the dragon sleepy?", to which Talon nods and grins, still resting his head on my shoulder. The newcomer I do not know, but I sense that he is not an otherkin dragon, but he still enjoys dragons and is a friend of the group and accepted as a dragon anyway even though he isn't one. We seem to be getting ready perhaps to go to a gather of some sort for otherkin dragons, but alas the dream never makes it beyond the parking lot, save perhaps one brief fragment I remember of the car possibly travelling down the street.
The only remaining parts of the dream I remember are more incoherent fragments, and they're more of the emotional type than the visual type. I remember wanting to find Rang again, but alas the dream ended before he showed up. I also never found out what was in the large parcel that was being carried in the beginning of the dream, if it was even relevant that is.
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There's one more dream that, unfortunately, I do not have saved in my dream logs. This was perhaps back around 2000 or so, and in the dream I was helping someone (I don't remember who or what species they were other than not human) get someplace safe where they could give birth or lay eggs or something. I remember us standing next to and partially in an ocean or a sea, the water and ground were dark colored. I stepped up out of the water onto a rock, and I remember looking down and seeing my hindpaw, my dragon hindpaw. That is all I remember of the dream, any further details have been lost in time.
A journal that
arashiin posted regarding a dragonkin-related dream earlier today got me thinking about sharing the dreams I have had. Luckily, I logged most of them for future reference, hoping someday to learn their meanings.I have copied and pasted these as entered directly from my dream logs. I did not change anything except for obscuring names as needed. The notes that immediately follow the dates are being added by me in the present to help clarify some things. If anyone, especially my fellow kin, has any input on these dreams, feel free to offer your thoughts.
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September 9, 2002 (NOTE: I censored the names in this one because the people involved have since disowned themselves from being dragons and they may not wish to be mentioned by name in this manner. At the time I had this dream, I was mated to one of the people who appeared in the dream, thus the reference to "my love".)
I awoke, finding myself being pushed in a wheelchair. Whoever was pushing me then spoke. I don't remember exactly what they said, but whatever it was made me realize where I was: in a small community-type area, actually more like a country club style resort, small but still nice. It was meant for those who have a dragon soul.
After a while, the wheelchair stopped to allow me to stand. I did so, but very dizzily. Whatever made me fall asleep was still affecting me. As I stood there weakly, whoever was pushing the wheelchair told me, "Lxx and the others are sitting outside." I looked out the window and saw Lxx, Kxx and Kxxx sitting at a picnic table. After my dizziness passed, I went outdoors to be with them.
However, before I got to where they were, I was intercepted by a small group of people I didn't know. They were talking about some type of initiation or something which I needed to go through before meeting any other dragons, that I wasn't ready to be with them yet, so on and so forth. It consisted of a test of morals, and also having part of my human family there with me. I had to pass BOTH tests before I would be allowed to meet with them.
The morals test occurred almost immediately. I found a watch belonging to someone else. It had their name scratched on the back, a name I recognized as being a dragon name. If I returned it to the owner or someone else who could get it back to them, I passed. If I kept it myself, I failed. Well, I returned it to one of the people coordinating my initiation, and I passed the morals test.
Then came the family test. I remember my grandmother, oldest brother, his wife and their two kids. I didn't understand what this was intended to do, but I went along with it anyway. I tried to make it through, but something happened. I got in an argument with my "grandmother" after realizing she wasn't real. I knew she wasn't real because she spoke as if my mother were still alive when I knew she wasn't. Then I played with my youngest niece, but I was so impatient to be with Lxx that I played with her for a very short time, maybe 10 seconds at the most.
Then, I learned my fate: my argument with my "grandmother" and the very short time I spent with my "niece" made me fail the family test, which meant that I failed the initiation...I wasn't allowed to be with other dragons. I sadly walked out into the rain, looking over to where Lxx, Kxx and Kxxx had been sitting. They weren't there. They had returned home. I stood against a tree, the cold rain falling down onto me as I cried. I would never get to be with my love...
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December 3, 2003 (NOTE: The names of family members have been censored)
I had a dream last night which I want to share before I forget what happened. This is perhaps one of the clearest dreams I can remember in a long time. It was a lengthy dream in which I remember being both terrified at one point, and overjoyed at another. Some parts are strange, some not, but overall it is...well, I don't know what to think of it. I'll tell as much as I can remember, leaving out no details.
The dream started with me sitting at what I imagine was a public internet terminal somewhere outdoors, like at the bottom of a moss-covered cliff. There was no one else around me, so I was able to get on my IRC chats on Draconic and other places/websites without worry.
As I was sitting there typing to my friends, I was suddenly attacked. I don't remember the attack itself, because all I remember is suddenly going from sitting in front of the computer to kneeling on the ground with at least two men around me. They were hunting for dragons...including dragons that have taken human form, something I was. I don't remember how I learned that, but I knew it, STRONGLY knew it.
The men connected a device to my head, then mentioned something about punishment. Just then, I felt several thousand volts course through my body from the device on my head. I screamed with extreme pain. They kept the device activated for what felt like 20 seconds until they finally turned it off.
After the demonstration of how they can hurt me, one of the men began to interrogate me while the other went over to the computer I was using earlier, where all the IRC chats and websites I was visiting were still open. Apparently he was looking for evidence in my chats and surfing habits to my draconity...and I knew it was there. I was terrified.
The man doing the interrogation was asking me questions which supposedly dragons would answer differently than humans. He asked me a question about the color spectrum, supposedly relating to how dragons see differently than humans. I don't remember the exact question, but it dealt with the full range, including the colors beyond the visible range. I sat there on my knees, too afraid to answer.
Upon noting my hesitation to answer, the man activated the punishment device again, waves of high-voltage electricity flowing through my body, the setting higher than before. He kept it activated and he commanded me to answer the question. While being nearly electrocuted, I somehow managed to spit out with extreme difficulty "I don't know! But I do know the standard colors for the color spectrum!" Continuing to shock me, the man then asked me to name the colors. I struggled to say them.
"Red.....orange.....yellow.....green.....blue...........violet!"
I hesitated a few seconds between blue and violet, because that's where indigo used to go. But, I left it out since it usually isn't considered a part of the color spectrum anymore. However, I immediately realized I should at least mention indigo so they wouldn't be able to catch on that I really was a dragon. Still being shocked, I then immediately blurted out "But indigo used to...be a color too...somewhere between blue and violet......but they removed it!"
Apparently happy with my response, the man finally turned off the punishment device, and I collapsed to the ground. I don't remember seeing or hearing it, but the other man then came back from the computer. He must have found evidence that I was a dragon, because the punishment device was then turned on a third time, full power, and left on for a long time. While it was on, I remember screaming not only in agony, but also with my thoughts "Help me! Please...help me!" I was trying to contact the other dragons I knew, I needed their help.
The dream then changed to me laying there on the ground. The men were gone, the device removed from my head, but I just laid there, not moving, hesitant to breathe. I was pretending to be dead so the men wouldn't bother me anymore in case they were still around. I laid there, still, for maybe two or three minutes before the dream changed again.
I was now laying in what appeared to be a rough-made coffin that felt to be on wheels. They must have thought I was dead, and were now going to dispose of me. I don't know how I figured it out or how I was able to do it, but I then found myself able to turn myself invisible and pass through the coffin until I was outside it. There was a line of people, including the two bad guys, pulling my coffin to who knows where. At that time, they were passing through a junk yard.
While invisibly standing there watching the people, I suddenly saw a brown minivan pull into the junkyard. It drove right in front of me, and I saw the people in it. It was my oldest brother Axxx, his wife Kxxxxxxx, and Kxxxxxxx's father Bxxx. Were they planning a rescue, knowing I really wasn't dead? I didn't know, but they drove around to the back side of the junkyard where they wouldn't be seen.
Noticing that the people were stopping, supposedly to check the coffin, I ran back to the coffin, laid back down in it and became visible again, laying there pretending to be dead as the lid was opened and the bad guys looked in. Apparently satisfied, they closed the lid and the line began moving again.
Looking out through a crack in the side of the coffin, I suddenly saw Bxxx standing there, motioning in a "come with me" sense. I knew it then, they were here to rescue me. Apparently he knew I could make myself turn invisible and wouldn't be seen escaping.
After hesitating to make absolutely sure I wouldn't be seen, I turned myself insivible and jumped through the side of the coffin. Although the other people couldn't see me, I knew Bxxx could because he watched me and gave the "follow me" motion again, more strongly this time, then turned and ran through a door into a small building. I ran as fast as I could after him, but something was wrong. Apparently I became visible before I made it to the door, because suddenly I heard the two men who attacked me chasing after me.
I managed to make it into the building, where I slammed the door shut. I went down a short hall through two more doors which I slammed shut and locked, until I ended up in a small shower bathroom with Axxx, Kxxxxxxx and Bxxx. I turned to Bxxx, who then handed me a shotgun which for some reason was invisible, but quite real. I took up a position in one of the showers, listening. We all waited.
For maybe 20 seconds, nothing happened. Then suddenly, pounding on the door. They were trying to kick it in. I pulled back on the shotgun's lever and raised it up, ready to fire when needed. After several attempts to kick it in, I heard the sound of the door slamming open. Upon hearing that, I immediately swung out of the shower and fired the shotgun twice. I didn't see the end result, but apparently I hit both men, and they were dead.
Just as we were starting to celebrate, a black-haired woman came running into the bathroom screaming insanely. I thought she was going to kill one or all of us, so I shot again. Her body flew into the other shower and slumped to the floor just out of sight. In perhaps the only moment of humor in the entire dream, Kxxxxxxx looked into the shower and exclaimed "You just killed Connie Chung!"
I don't remember how, but we learned that the other bad people who wanted me dead were either also killed or had run away. We began celebrating, cheering, clapping and such. I wasn't in danger anymore. During the celebration, Torin appeared, my true dragon self in a separate body from mine. I was surprised to see him, but very glad that he was there. He was invisible, but I knew he was there. I hugged him tight and kissed him on the cheek, then said "I love you Torin". Although I am Torin, he was Torin too, separately, and I loved him as a friend. I felt safe with him there.
With my arms wrapped around Torin's dragon neck in a hug, the dream ended.
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November 30, 2005 (NOTE: This dream seemingly isn't related to my dragonkin self, but I still felt it as being a significant dream worth sharing)
I had a rather doomsday-type dream last night. Some of it doesn't make sense, but overall...it was oddly clear...
It starts off a few years into the near future (I'd say around 2010 or such) with me helping to translate some ancient writings left over from a past destroyed civilization. I'm entering the various writings into a computer to translate them. I translate a few various phrases, nothing of any major importance. But, suddenly, after entering one line, the computer displays the following translated text:
"Be warned all who read this - Lael is coming!"
In the reality of my dream, Lael is a well-known and greatly feared name. He is a very large green dragon (How large? Think several thousand feet)...and he is a destroyer. The legend goes that Lael had destroyed most of the life and all man-made construction on Earth in the past, and supposedly he did so several times on a regular basis, returning every few thousand years to do it again. The legend continues that Lael had been imprisoned during the last attack (How he was imprisoned is not revealed in the dream), never to threaten the world again. A legend is just what Lael is believed to be, not real, so although the name is still feared, it is "common knowledge" that Lael never did exist...
...or so was thought.
Although the actual scene is not shown in the dream, there is reference to me remembering in the dream an expedition a short time before, where I came across an ancient item and did something to it, causing it to release some sort of energy. Key parts of this memory, combined with the warning I had translated, made me realize that said ancient item was Lael's prison, and said energy was Lael.
...Lael is real, he is free, I unknowingly let him free.
Now, the legend also tells the prophecy of Lael's impending attack. The prophecy goes as follows: when Lael is coming, the world will "turn to stone". The people destined to die at the hands of Lael will then "be marked". Finally, Lael will return, killing the marked people, and destroying every man-made structure on the face of the Earth.
Realizing that Lael was real and free by my own fault, and that he would most likely attack seeking revenge for being imprisoned, I begin trying to warn my colleagues and other people. But, none of them believe me. They all insist that Lael is not real, that I am crazy...
...then the first part of the prophecy happens.
Reports from all over the world begin to come in about large boulders and outcroppings of stone randomly appearing in places they did not exist before. Realizing what is happening, I try harder to warn people, but eventually I am outcast and enter hiding in my own home with my family. When stone begins appearing in our own yard, I try to warn my family, but they too don't believe me. Although they don't believe me, they at least (Albeit reluctantly) heed my warnings and begin preparing for Lael's attack.
We are outside, preparing for the attack. While doing so, we spot a car driving down the gravel road towards our place. It's not uncommon for cars to drive down the road by our place, but there was something unusual about this car. The people in it...they seem to be under hypnotic control, and they're carrying guns. We hide behind my van, I am laying on the ground trying to hide behind the back wheel. Watching through a small gap, I see the car stop along the road next to our place. They begin scanning, looking for us. I'm hoping they don't spot us, but unfortunately, they do.
With perfect precision, they fire through the small gaps under the van...but not bullets, they're darts. One hits me in my leg, and I feel it inject something into me. It doesn't make me feel tired though, so it's not a tranquilizer. As I see darts hit the rest of my family, I suddenly realize...we are being marked for death. This is the second part of the Lael prophecy. There must be something in the darts which allows Lael to find those marked, even if they are hiding, so he can kill them. In a moment of intense fear, I yank the dart out of my leg before it finishes injection, and throw it at one of the people in the car. It hits them in the neck, and injects into them. At least they'll go with us.
We run into the back yard, trying to hide from the people in the car. As the rest of my family tries to get through the confusion of what is going on, the sky begins to darken. There is a slight rumbling noise, almost like distant thunder. I didn't need to look, because I knew what was happening...
...Lael was coming, and he was almost here.
The dream ended and I woke up before Lael actually arrived.
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June 30, 2007 (NOTE: I mention in this log entry not knowing any dragons named "Talon" in the manner represented in the dream. I used to know someone who RPed as a dragon named Talon back in the late 90s, but to the best of my knowledge they were not otherkin, and at the very least I know they weren't the cuddly type, thus the "in the manner represented" qualifier I used to exclude them. Also, it is purely speculation when I mention the name Rangarig in a possible attempt to resolve to the name "Rang". I am not asserting as fact that Rang was actually Rangarig or that Rangarig is otherkin, I truly don't know if he is or not.)
I was following a couple people in some sort of apartment building. The one person I didn't know, but the other I knew as being an otherkin dragon, known by the name "Rang" (Perhaps Rangarig the artist? I don't think he's otherkin though). One of them (I don't remember which) is carrying a large parcel of some sort. I'm kinda lagging behind them, trying to keep up. They get on an elevator that goes up to the next floor, but I don't get to it in time, so instead I take the stairs. By the time I get up the stairs though, they are gone, the only people I see walking through the hall are strangers. I know they are there somewhere though, so I begin walking down the hallway, looking into the various rooms.
The apartment building has now transformed into a mix of a school and factory of some sort. It had the feel and emotional atmosphere of a school, but the physical appearance and nuances of a factory. Anyway, all the way to the end of the hall on the right side, I find a very large room, very representative of the school/factory mix the building had taken on. I walk around the room, cornering around large storage cabinets, workbenches and machinery, looking at the hundreds (perhaps thousands) of other people who are in there sitting at various tables and desks. I eventually find the two I was following, Rang and the other person are sitting at a large wooden table with some other people. Rang is the only one I recognize, the rest are strangers to me, but I know I belong there, that it has something to do with being an otherkin dragon. I sit down and join in on whatever they were talking about.
The scene changes. Now we are outside in a moderate-sized city. More specifically, we are now in part of Marion/Cedar Rapids, Iowa. I am standing outside a car filled with two or three other people. I don't know who they are, but I also know them to be otherkin dragons like me. Actually, I do know one of them, he goes by the name "Talon" (IRL, I do not know any dragons named "Talon", at least not in the manner represented in the dream). He seems to be the "lovingest" of the group, the kind of person you would find in a "dragon snuggle pile". As I stand there next to the car, he leans out the window and rests his head on my shoulder, keeping it there for several minutes. Now, I don't know Talon all that much (Perhaps this was my first time meeting him, I get that feeling thinking back on the dream), but being a dragon myself, I understand the occasional desire to cuddle and stuff, so I allow it.
I asked if Rang was there. The others responded that he wasn't, but he should be coming soon (Unfortunately, he never showed up again in the dream beyond the two earlier appearances). After a short while, someone else comes up to us and chuckles softly, speaking to Talon something along the lines of "Aww, is the dragon sleepy?", to which Talon nods and grins, still resting his head on my shoulder. The newcomer I do not know, but I sense that he is not an otherkin dragon, but he still enjoys dragons and is a friend of the group and accepted as a dragon anyway even though he isn't one. We seem to be getting ready perhaps to go to a gather of some sort for otherkin dragons, but alas the dream never makes it beyond the parking lot, save perhaps one brief fragment I remember of the car possibly travelling down the street.
The only remaining parts of the dream I remember are more incoherent fragments, and they're more of the emotional type than the visual type. I remember wanting to find Rang again, but alas the dream ended before he showed up. I also never found out what was in the large parcel that was being carried in the beginning of the dream, if it was even relevant that is.
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There's one more dream that, unfortunately, I do not have saved in my dream logs. This was perhaps back around 2000 or so, and in the dream I was helping someone (I don't remember who or what species they were other than not human) get someplace safe where they could give birth or lay eggs or something. I remember us standing next to and partially in an ocean or a sea, the water and ground were dark colored. I stepped up out of the water onto a rock, and I remember looking down and seeing my hindpaw, my dragon hindpaw. That is all I remember of the dream, any further details have been lost in time.
Christmas Cards 2014!
General | Posted 11 years agoIf you'd like me to send you a Christmas card, send me a note with your preferred name and address. I'll send it out late next week. :3
FYI, had to repost the Spyro/Hunter picture
General | Posted 11 years agoI don't like deleting and reposting submissions because I know it breaks favorites, but in this case I had no choice but to delete then repost the Spyro/Hunter picture because the original had some problems and the "change submission file" function was not working whatsoever, even after waiting overnight (seven hours) for FA to process the updated version. So, for those who originally saw and +fav'd the colored version of the Spyro/Hunter picture I posted last night, you'll have to redo that at the new submission. http://www.furaffinity.net/view/14920645/
Also, I request that if you are going to share this image and post it on fchan/e621/rule34/etc, PLEASE use the new version and not the erroneous one from last night.
I profusely apologize for this inconvenience. :/
Also, I request that if you are going to share this image and post it on fchan/e621/rule34/etc, PLEASE use the new version and not the erroneous one from last night.
I profusely apologize for this inconvenience. :/
I've fucked myself over
General | Posted 11 years agoPeople have been warning me for years. Family, friends, coworkers, doctors. They've been warning me that if I didn't take better care of myself, I'd develop diabetes.
I ignored the warnings.
Just got out of the hospital... -_-
I ignored the warnings.
Just got out of the hospital... -_-
The Dragon is at IFC!
General | Posted 11 years agoNot gonna do a whole meme. I'll just say that if you want to find me, look for the guy wearing a blue backpack with a Spyro plushie attached to it. I'm shy, but still want to meet others. FYI I'm partially deaf, so the best way to get my attention is to approach me from the front. :3
AC Meme :D
General | Posted 11 years agoEveryone else is doing this, guess I better do so as well.
Where are you staying?
At home.
What day are you getting there?
I'm already there.
Is this your first AC?
Nope, had a couple at the old house.
What brand of AC do you have?
Carrier.
How many BTUs is your AC?
~40,000 BTU, I think. It's on the roof, so I can't access it. :p
What temperature do you have your AC set to?
Typically 73, but if it's really humid I'll drop it down to 70 just for the extra dehumidifying effect.
How noisy is your AC?
I can't hear the condenser unit itself since, as said, it's up on the roof. But, the fan can be pretty loud.
Does your AC have knobs or buttons on its control panel?
Buttons, but only because it's a digital thermostat. I'm guessing this question is primarily for window units.
Is your AC remote-controlled?
I wish. :p
Do you have more than one AC?
Nope, just the one.
Which window(s) or room(s) do you have your AC(s) in?
It's not a window unit. It's central air, so...no windows, but every room. :p
Do you remove your AC from the window or just cover it up during winter?
I can't remove it...it's built into the furnace. It's not in a window anyway. :x
Where are you staying?
At home.
What day are you getting there?
I'm already there.
Is this your first AC?
Nope, had a couple at the old house.
What brand of AC do you have?
Carrier.
How many BTUs is your AC?
~40,000 BTU, I think. It's on the roof, so I can't access it. :p
What temperature do you have your AC set to?
Typically 73, but if it's really humid I'll drop it down to 70 just for the extra dehumidifying effect.
How noisy is your AC?
I can't hear the condenser unit itself since, as said, it's up on the roof. But, the fan can be pretty loud.
Does your AC have knobs or buttons on its control panel?
Buttons, but only because it's a digital thermostat. I'm guessing this question is primarily for window units.
Is your AC remote-controlled?
I wish. :p
Do you have more than one AC?
Nope, just the one.
Which window(s) or room(s) do you have your AC(s) in?
It's not a window unit. It's central air, so...no windows, but every room. :p
Do you remove your AC from the window or just cover it up during winter?
I can't remove it...it's built into the furnace. It's not in a window anyway. :x
The FCC just murdered Net Neutrality
General | Posted 11 years agohttp://act.watchdog.net/petitions/4655?ls=nsAEGwW6RbI
http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/the-switch/wp/2014/05/15/fcc-approves-plan-to-allow-for-paid-priority-on-internet/
The FCC has approved the ability for ISPs to allow paid priority for any website.
If enough of the public makes enough noise and REALLY fucking tries, this can be overturned. People just have to try.
Spread this EVERYWHERE. Make SURE people know what's going on.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/the-switch/wp/2014/05/15/fcc-approves-plan-to-allow-for-paid-priority-on-internet/
The FCC has approved the ability for ISPs to allow paid priority for any website.
If enough of the public makes enough noise and REALLY fucking tries, this can be overturned. People just have to try.
Spread this EVERYWHERE. Make SURE people know what's going on.
Forget Weasyl (Rant)
General | Posted 11 years agoYou know how I said I was in the process of copying my gallery over to Weasyl?
Yeah...forget that shit. They pretty much just gave me the middle finger regarding a vast majority of my Spyro art by deleting it, all because of my method of using actual screenshots from the games as backgrounds...which is something the admins here on FA have NEVER given me flak over. In fact, I even asked one of the admins directly on the forums years back whether this was ok, and they told me yes.
I know FA has its issues, but when it comes down to it, FA has been really the only place to fully accept me for who I am, including my art. For over eight years, I've been able to post my art here in my own style, and although I admit trolls have gotten to me on here, the admins themselves have never once given me any trouble, be it regarding me using actual game screenshots as the backgrounds (But NEVER as 100% of the image content!) or the methods I use to censor my thumbnails. They've done nothing but stood behind me regarding this.
Weasyl, on the other hand, just effectively told me to get lost.
I never did get around to copying my entire gallery over there. I got all of the images, but none of the stories. I no longer have the desire to finish that transfer. In fact, I'm now thinking of just purging my entire gallery over there and using it only for browsing, if at all. There's still some very good artists I follow who have migrated exclusively to Weasyl, one of which I currently have a pending commission in progress with. I don't want to lose track of them.
I'm not mad at the artists or other people who use Weasyl...I'm mad at the admins for not using the one brain cell it takes to recognize that my use of the game backgrounds falls under fair use according to federal copyright laws. Oh wait, I'm mistaken...they DO recognize that it falls under fair use, because the notification I got from the admins about the removal specifically states that they are aware the legal notice I typically post with my art would past muster in a court of law...but then they give me a "fuck you" by saying it still violates their policies. Since when are the terms of service on a website more binding than federal law?!
And before anyone says that Weasyl is just trying to protect themselves from being sued even if fair use or parody does apply, ask yourselves this...why pick this one single issue, yet still allow fanart, including adult fanart, of other copyrighted or trademarked characters or images that would be equally suitable for lawsuit material? If they were truly trying to protect themselves, they'd ban ALL fanart containing copyrighted or trademarked imagery or characters, yet they do not.
I've been wanting to branch out, try to find a broader audience despite the generally objectionable nature of what I typically draw. I still want to. But, this experience with Weasyl has pretty much soured me on that idea. Yes, there's InkBunny and SoFurry...but now I find myself hesitant to try them. What if they are equally restrictive regarding my use of game backgrounds, or find some other unforeseen reason to deny me from posting art on there? I just don't know anymore.
Thanks for bearing with me during this rant. I just had to get this off my chest...
======================================================================
tl;dr - I'm pissed off. Weasyl deleted most of my Spyro art because I use screenshots as the backgrounds in them, something which is recognized and allowed as fair use under federal copyright laws. FA admins have never given me problems over this. Debating purging my Weasyl gallery entirely. Still want to branch out to other sites, but hesitant now. I just needed to vent for now.
Yeah...forget that shit. They pretty much just gave me the middle finger regarding a vast majority of my Spyro art by deleting it, all because of my method of using actual screenshots from the games as backgrounds...which is something the admins here on FA have NEVER given me flak over. In fact, I even asked one of the admins directly on the forums years back whether this was ok, and they told me yes.
I know FA has its issues, but when it comes down to it, FA has been really the only place to fully accept me for who I am, including my art. For over eight years, I've been able to post my art here in my own style, and although I admit trolls have gotten to me on here, the admins themselves have never once given me any trouble, be it regarding me using actual game screenshots as the backgrounds (But NEVER as 100% of the image content!) or the methods I use to censor my thumbnails. They've done nothing but stood behind me regarding this.
Weasyl, on the other hand, just effectively told me to get lost.
I never did get around to copying my entire gallery over there. I got all of the images, but none of the stories. I no longer have the desire to finish that transfer. In fact, I'm now thinking of just purging my entire gallery over there and using it only for browsing, if at all. There's still some very good artists I follow who have migrated exclusively to Weasyl, one of which I currently have a pending commission in progress with. I don't want to lose track of them.
I'm not mad at the artists or other people who use Weasyl...I'm mad at the admins for not using the one brain cell it takes to recognize that my use of the game backgrounds falls under fair use according to federal copyright laws. Oh wait, I'm mistaken...they DO recognize that it falls under fair use, because the notification I got from the admins about the removal specifically states that they are aware the legal notice I typically post with my art would past muster in a court of law...but then they give me a "fuck you" by saying it still violates their policies. Since when are the terms of service on a website more binding than federal law?!
And before anyone says that Weasyl is just trying to protect themselves from being sued even if fair use or parody does apply, ask yourselves this...why pick this one single issue, yet still allow fanart, including adult fanart, of other copyrighted or trademarked characters or images that would be equally suitable for lawsuit material? If they were truly trying to protect themselves, they'd ban ALL fanart containing copyrighted or trademarked imagery or characters, yet they do not.
I've been wanting to branch out, try to find a broader audience despite the generally objectionable nature of what I typically draw. I still want to. But, this experience with Weasyl has pretty much soured me on that idea. Yes, there's InkBunny and SoFurry...but now I find myself hesitant to try them. What if they are equally restrictive regarding my use of game backgrounds, or find some other unforeseen reason to deny me from posting art on there? I just don't know anymore.
Thanks for bearing with me during this rant. I just had to get this off my chest...
======================================================================
tl;dr - I'm pissed off. Weasyl deleted most of my Spyro art because I use screenshots as the backgrounds in them, something which is recognized and allowed as fair use under federal copyright laws. FA admins have never given me problems over this. Debating purging my Weasyl gallery entirely. Still want to branch out to other sites, but hesitant now. I just needed to vent for now.
Cloning In Progress
General | Posted 12 years agoNot leaving FA...yet.
But, I AM currently copying my gallery over to Weasyl. My name there is Torin_Darkflight, same has here. As of this writing, I've finished copying all of my own art and photography from my main gallery, but have yet to do my stories, other art drawn for me and scraps.
Catch you on the flip side!
But, I AM currently copying my gallery over to Weasyl. My name there is Torin_Darkflight, same has here. As of this writing, I've finished copying all of my own art and photography from my main gallery, but have yet to do my stories, other art drawn for me and scraps.
Catch you on the flip side!
Ahh...
General | Posted 12 years agoHey! If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one.
I'd like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is! Hallelujah! Holy shit!
Where's the Tylenol?!
I'd like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is! Hallelujah! Holy shit!
Where's the Tylenol?!
NEW WATCHERS PLEASE READ
General | Posted 12 years agoIt seems my recent commission from 
tojo-the-thief has drawn in a fairly large number of new watchers, mostly fellow dragons from the looks of it.
First off, I want to thank you for your interest in little old me, and I'm glad you liked the pic Tojo drew for me. She deserves 100% of the praise for it.
With that said, I now want to give my new watchers a word of warning: I primarily post adult fetish art of an extremely dirty nature, usually involving scat, vomit and watersports. I know that these are kinks which a vast majority of the fandom does not enjoy, so I feel it necessary to let you know that, if you continue to watch me, you WILL see such submissions appear in the future. If you are not comfortable with seeing such content, then I highly recommend you unwatch me. I am not here to force my kinks upon anyone. I did not create this account as a "shock" account with malicious intent to gross people out on purpose. Even if you are a friend, or someone who wants to become a friend...if you are not comfortable with any of the fetishes I mentioned above, please...unwatch me. I will not feel bad if you do unwatch me. I simply don't want to make you uncomfortable in even the slightest if you're not a fan of my particular kinks.
If, by chance, any of my new watchers DO also happen to share my interests...then feel free to stick around. Hopefully you'll find some stuff you like in my gallery, or that you'll like some of my future submissions (Although do know that I don't post new art very often, maybe 2-3 times a year at best, so be patient with me).
As I said, I am not here to offend people. I am here simply to share my art with those select few who are also interested in these kinks, despite their vast rarity and limited acceptance, or with those who enjoy art regardless of the inherent subject matters. I am posting this notice mainly as a courtesy, because I know that some people tend to blindly click the +watch button on random galleries without really paying attention to their profiles or submissions. So, yeah, if you don't like scat, vomit or watersports, then please unwatch me. I won't feel bad.
Thank you for your time, and Happy Holidays. :3
tojo-the-thief has drawn in a fairly large number of new watchers, mostly fellow dragons from the looks of it.First off, I want to thank you for your interest in little old me, and I'm glad you liked the pic Tojo drew for me. She deserves 100% of the praise for it.
With that said, I now want to give my new watchers a word of warning: I primarily post adult fetish art of an extremely dirty nature, usually involving scat, vomit and watersports. I know that these are kinks which a vast majority of the fandom does not enjoy, so I feel it necessary to let you know that, if you continue to watch me, you WILL see such submissions appear in the future. If you are not comfortable with seeing such content, then I highly recommend you unwatch me. I am not here to force my kinks upon anyone. I did not create this account as a "shock" account with malicious intent to gross people out on purpose. Even if you are a friend, or someone who wants to become a friend...if you are not comfortable with any of the fetishes I mentioned above, please...unwatch me. I will not feel bad if you do unwatch me. I simply don't want to make you uncomfortable in even the slightest if you're not a fan of my particular kinks.
If, by chance, any of my new watchers DO also happen to share my interests...then feel free to stick around. Hopefully you'll find some stuff you like in my gallery, or that you'll like some of my future submissions (Although do know that I don't post new art very often, maybe 2-3 times a year at best, so be patient with me).
As I said, I am not here to offend people. I am here simply to share my art with those select few who are also interested in these kinks, despite their vast rarity and limited acceptance, or with those who enjoy art regardless of the inherent subject matters. I am posting this notice mainly as a courtesy, because I know that some people tend to blindly click the +watch button on random galleries without really paying attention to their profiles or submissions. So, yeah, if you don't like scat, vomit or watersports, then please unwatch me. I won't feel bad.
Thank you for your time, and Happy Holidays. :3
Want a Christmas Card from me?
General | Posted 12 years agoAs a small step to try to help overcome my social inadequacies, I've decided to do an open invitation for Christmas cards. :3
If you want a Christmas card from me, please send me the following info either in a note on here or in a DM on Twitter (@TorinDarkflight):
-The name you want on the envelope (Remember dozens of people at the USPS will see this, so nothing naughty)
-Your address, including the country for those living outside the USA
-If you want, let me know if you'd like my address too so you can send me a card
The card will NOT be naughty. It'll just be a regular Christmas card with a kitty on the front, and a short general greeting from me on the inside.
Deadline is December 14th.
If you want a Christmas card from me, please send me the following info either in a note on here or in a DM on Twitter (@TorinDarkflight):
-The name you want on the envelope (Remember dozens of people at the USPS will see this, so nothing naughty)
-Your address, including the country for those living outside the USA
-If you want, let me know if you'd like my address too so you can send me a card
The card will NOT be naughty. It'll just be a regular Christmas card with a kitty on the front, and a short general greeting from me on the inside.
Deadline is December 14th.
What does it mean to be shy?
General | Posted 12 years agoDon't know if it's necessary, but you might want to read my MFF Recap first since I also touch on the subject of my social inadequacies there too. It might also help you better understand why I'm currently in the frame of mind that prompted me to post this journal, as some occurrences at the con are directly and indirectly related to my current thoughts.
What does it mean to be shy? Specifically, what does it mean for me to be shy? I imagine most of you are thinking that it means some or all of the following:
-I don't want to meet new people
-I don't want to talk to other people
-I don't want to interact with other people
-I don't want to participate in games, events, parties, etc.
I cannot speak for other people who identify themselves as shy, but as for me...wrong, wrong, wrong and wrong.
I DO want to meet new people. I DO want to talk to other people. I DO want to interact with other people. I DO want to participate in games, events, parties. etc. For me, being shy doesn't mean I don't want to do those things...rather it means it is difficult for me to find and maintain the emotional motivation to do those things.
The biggest part of my shyness is not knowing what to say. It is often difficult for me to start a conversation. But, as difficult as it is for me to start a conversation, it's doubly more difficult for me to keep a conversation going once I've started it. I simply don't know what to say. Not knowing what to say doesn't mean that I don't want to talk.
Part of my shyness is also fear of being judged negatively...about my weight, or my kinks, or my weird voice. I always have this nagging fear in the back of my head that, whenever I'm with someone, they're gonna try to find something to judge me negatively about. Now, I still WANT to interact with others...this just makes me hesitant, unfortunately.
When I was at MFF...I actually felt lonelier than I've felt in a very long time. This was because my shyness kept holding me back, kept preventing me from sticking around with other furs I knew, kept preventing me from looking for room parties to go to even though I wanted to (Despite my inability to dance or drink), kept me from trying to meet and make new friends beyond the occasional random fursuit hug. It was very frustrating. It's still frustrating. I said in my last journal that I had fun at MFF, and I really did...just nowhere near as much as I wanted to...as I should have.
I feel as if MFF was just...a wasted opportunity to better myself socially. I WANTED to meet new furs...but I really didn't. Yes, I said hi to some, even spoke for a few minutes...but I wouldn't really consider that as meeting new furs. I didn't go to any parties...and again, I did want to, but my shyness held me back from actively seeking them out. 85% of my time was spent just aimlessly wandering or sitting in the lobby. Strongly desiring yet lacking the motivation to socialize.
The biggest problem I have with being shy...I don't actively seek out socialization. Instead, I sit by myself and desperately hope that socialization will come to me. Yes, the rational side of me is fully aware that life doesn't work that way...but the shy side is blind to that fact. I want to socialize...but it is difficult for me to do so.
That is what being shy means for me. I want to...I WANT TO...but I can't find the means to.
You: "Just start talking to other furs, problem solved!"
No. It won't work like that. Shyness isn't a switch that you can flip off and be instantly ok. Telling me to "just" do something social and expect me to be suddenly ok is as foolish as telling a gunshot victim to just put a band-aid on their wound and expect it to instantly heal. It takes an INCREDIBLE amount of effort for me to socialize to the level I already do. To reach the point where I want to be...I can't just instantly jump to that level and be ok. I need to gradually ease myself into being social. I can't stay where I am now, because this is hurting me. It's tearing me apart inside. But, trying to force myself could be harmful too, it could make me have another emotional breakdown like I did at MFF.
I don't like being shy. I WANT to socialize. I WANT to talk to people. I WANT to play games with them. I WANT to go to parties or stuff. I WANT to do more than just sit quietly on the couch while everyone else talks about stuff. I WANT to do more than just be a silent body in the room. I want to socialize. I want to participate. But I can't...my shyness won't allow it.
Forgive any incoherence to this rambling mess of a journal. I am barely awake right now, should have been in bed at least an hour ago. But, I wanted to get this all out while I still had this train of thought, and also while I had the ability to actually say this stuff. Extreme sleepiness seems to make my mental inhibitions fall...were I any more awake than I am currently, I likely wouldn't have the courage to say some of this stuff. Heh, maybe that's what I need to try...socializing while zombified from exhaustion. :p
What does it mean to be shy? Specifically, what does it mean for me to be shy? I imagine most of you are thinking that it means some or all of the following:
-I don't want to meet new people
-I don't want to talk to other people
-I don't want to interact with other people
-I don't want to participate in games, events, parties, etc.
I cannot speak for other people who identify themselves as shy, but as for me...wrong, wrong, wrong and wrong.
I DO want to meet new people. I DO want to talk to other people. I DO want to interact with other people. I DO want to participate in games, events, parties. etc. For me, being shy doesn't mean I don't want to do those things...rather it means it is difficult for me to find and maintain the emotional motivation to do those things.
The biggest part of my shyness is not knowing what to say. It is often difficult for me to start a conversation. But, as difficult as it is for me to start a conversation, it's doubly more difficult for me to keep a conversation going once I've started it. I simply don't know what to say. Not knowing what to say doesn't mean that I don't want to talk.
Part of my shyness is also fear of being judged negatively...about my weight, or my kinks, or my weird voice. I always have this nagging fear in the back of my head that, whenever I'm with someone, they're gonna try to find something to judge me negatively about. Now, I still WANT to interact with others...this just makes me hesitant, unfortunately.
When I was at MFF...I actually felt lonelier than I've felt in a very long time. This was because my shyness kept holding me back, kept preventing me from sticking around with other furs I knew, kept preventing me from looking for room parties to go to even though I wanted to (Despite my inability to dance or drink), kept me from trying to meet and make new friends beyond the occasional random fursuit hug. It was very frustrating. It's still frustrating. I said in my last journal that I had fun at MFF, and I really did...just nowhere near as much as I wanted to...as I should have.
I feel as if MFF was just...a wasted opportunity to better myself socially. I WANTED to meet new furs...but I really didn't. Yes, I said hi to some, even spoke for a few minutes...but I wouldn't really consider that as meeting new furs. I didn't go to any parties...and again, I did want to, but my shyness held me back from actively seeking them out. 85% of my time was spent just aimlessly wandering or sitting in the lobby. Strongly desiring yet lacking the motivation to socialize.
The biggest problem I have with being shy...I don't actively seek out socialization. Instead, I sit by myself and desperately hope that socialization will come to me. Yes, the rational side of me is fully aware that life doesn't work that way...but the shy side is blind to that fact. I want to socialize...but it is difficult for me to do so.
That is what being shy means for me. I want to...I WANT TO...but I can't find the means to.
You: "Just start talking to other furs, problem solved!"
No. It won't work like that. Shyness isn't a switch that you can flip off and be instantly ok. Telling me to "just" do something social and expect me to be suddenly ok is as foolish as telling a gunshot victim to just put a band-aid on their wound and expect it to instantly heal. It takes an INCREDIBLE amount of effort for me to socialize to the level I already do. To reach the point where I want to be...I can't just instantly jump to that level and be ok. I need to gradually ease myself into being social. I can't stay where I am now, because this is hurting me. It's tearing me apart inside. But, trying to force myself could be harmful too, it could make me have another emotional breakdown like I did at MFF.
I don't like being shy. I WANT to socialize. I WANT to talk to people. I WANT to play games with them. I WANT to go to parties or stuff. I WANT to do more than just sit quietly on the couch while everyone else talks about stuff. I WANT to do more than just be a silent body in the room. I want to socialize. I want to participate. But I can't...my shyness won't allow it.
Forgive any incoherence to this rambling mess of a journal. I am barely awake right now, should have been in bed at least an hour ago. But, I wanted to get this all out while I still had this train of thought, and also while I had the ability to actually say this stuff. Extreme sleepiness seems to make my mental inhibitions fall...were I any more awake than I am currently, I likely wouldn't have the courage to say some of this stuff. Heh, maybe that's what I need to try...socializing while zombified from exhaustion. :p
MFF Recap: The good, the bad, and I seriously need help -_-
General | Posted 12 years agotl;dr version - MFF was fun, but not as fun as RMFC was in my opinion. It would have been better if there were more panels that interested me and if I hadn't been so shy/socially awkward, but at least I found a few panels I liked. Restaurant food was good but expensive, so I mostly ate at the con suite and drank gallons of Cherry Coke. Bought a whole wardrobe of t-shirts from dealers den, as well as a tail and other miscellaneous things. Didn't take enough pictures. Gave away one of my Spyro plushies to a total stranger who also loves Spyro out of the kindness of my heart, I wish I knew who he was and I hope he enjoys it. Hugged lots of fursuiters, but not as many as I would have liked. I should have made a better effort to interact more. Got inappropriately upset about something I shouldn't have and alienated both roommates plus another friend of theirs in the process. I need therapy but am scared to get it, I don't know why. Apologies to anyone directly or indirectly affected by my issues at the con.
====================================
Full detailed version:
So, MFF 2013...my first ever MFF, and my second fur con overall. How would I rank it? Eh, it was...alright. Don't get me wrong, the con itself was awesome, and I did have fun when I was having fun. There were two things, though, that knocked it below RMFC 2012 on my personal enjoyment scale: lack of panels that personally interested me, and my social inadequacies...particularly my shyness and not knowing what to talk about in discussions. Sadly, my social issues ultimately led to an extremely unpleasant and out-of-place emotional outburst that, to be honest, is further proof that I'm most certainly way, way overdue for counseling or therapy. -_-
Anyway, let's forgo the bad stuff for the moment, and look at the good stuff. The few panels I did attend were fun. My favorites were the variety show, open mic standup and the therian panels. I also liked the "Whose Lion Is It Anyway" improv panel, which I attempted to participate in...but ultimately failed in a laughably miserable way. Hearing my own voice coming from the PA as I spoke was way, way too disorienting. XD
Other than the con suite, the only food I ate at the hotel was in the restaurant on the main level. It was good, but way overpriced UNLESS you 1-Do the buffet, and 2-Eat a metric shitton of food. We also ordered a pizza and some other stuff from Gino's. It was YUMMY. I never went into the bar, but after hearing about people having to wait ridiculously long amounts of time for service, I'm glad I didn't. Beyond that, once I discovered the con suite (Which I didn't even know existed until the second day), the rest of my meals came from there. I'm certain I drank a vast majority of the Cherry Coke dispensed from the soda machine, as that was my primary caffeine source during most of the con (Cherry Coke is my favorite flavor behind only Mexican Coke). :p
Dealers Den...I don't recall how much I spent, but I bought a LOT of stuff. However, unlike RMFC, this time I bought a lot more practical stuff that can actually be used beyond just being a decorative nicknack or...ahem...porn. :p. A majority of my purchases were t-shirts. I bought several dragon shirts, a couple Brony shirts, and then of course the con shirt, which they actually had in a size that will fit me (That, I will admit, is something RMFC DIDN'T have). I also bought a couple posters, a "Certified Dragon" badge (Which I hung from the Spyro plushie on my backpack XD), and a dragon tail! <3 It doesn't have a crest, but otherwise it's about the right color for my fursona. Maybe the start of a partial? I gotta get used to sitting with it tho...worried I'm gonna tear it or smush it out of shape or something. Although I did want to, I ended up not buying a single naughty thing from dealers den or artists alley. :p I'm wanting the new issues of Dragon's Hoard, but there was no Rabbit Valley table. Oh well, maybe next con, whenever that'll be (More on that later).
Other than an unpleasant occurrence mentioned further below, perhaps the most unexpected thing I did is something that may shock my followers...I gave away one of my Spyro plushies. O_O I don't have a fursuit, so one of the things I did to help people find me was attach my smallest Spyro plushie to my backpack and wore it around the con. On the last day of the con, I was sitting in the corridor near the con suite after the closing ceremonies when another fur noticed Spyro and approached, all but begging that I let him have it. At the time, I politely declined, and he walked away sad. Later that evening, just as I was getting ready to go back to the room for the night, something inside me clicked. I removed Spyro from my backpack and began looking for the guy. I eventually found him in the lobby. He pointed and said something along the lines of "I still want your Spyro". It was then that I held Spyro out to him, and said "Take good care of him." He couldn't believe it, and hugged me after accepting my gift. Yes, I will admit, I do feel a little sad about parting with one of my Spyro plushies. But, seeing the look of joy on his face when I handed it to him was totally worth it. He was a total stranger to me. I didn't know who he was...I still don't know who he was. I neglected to look at his con badge, and even if I did I likely wouldn't have remembered the name anyway. I wish I knew who he was. He was kinda tall and slim with a large blue spiked koopa shell backpack. He had a foreign accent, possibly French, but I couldn't say for sure. Anyway...sir, if by chance you happen to be reading this, I hope you enjoy your gift, and I'm glad to have met a fellow Spyro fan. :3
Between panels and other events, I mostly just spent my time randomly roaming the lobby, trying to find people to either talk to or hug. One of my regrets is not taking more pictures while doing my roaming. One of my roommates took literally hundreds of pictures, while I only took a couple dozen. Maybe having my camera out would have helped me garner the social interaction I desired, I dunno. Anyway, I hugged lots of dragons, which is what I was most wanting. <3 Not all of them, but a lot of them. I also hugged some other people too, mostly suiters, but also the occasional out-of-suit attendee. Although I wanted to, I didn't get to hug Telephone...but I DID get some OMGADORABLE squeaking and kinda-nuzzling action from her when I tried bidding on something at the charity auction. <3 Even though I don't personally know them, two of the dragons near the top of my "must hug" list were
xandertheblue and arashiin, and I got to hug them both in suit. <3 <3 <3 I just wish I wasn't so fucking shy, I WANT to get to know them and others on a personal level as friends, but I'm just too damn shy to talk to some, and when I do talk to others I clam up after a while not knowing what else to say. x_x
So, yeah, since I brought it back up, I might as well transition into the negatives that happened during this con. As I said, my shyness and social awkwardness really, REALLY held me back from enjoying the con to its full potential. As mentioned above, I rarely spoke to other people, and when I did it was just for a short while. My biggest problem is that I tend to live in a "wait for the action to come to me" mindset, and rarely seek out the action on my own. Thus, my random roaming with the hopes of getting fursuit hugs was, most of the time, ineffective. I kept hoping suiters would just randomly come up to me for hugs, instead of me actually approaching them and asking for a hug. The few I DID actually approach, as mentioned above, took an incredible amount of willpower that I seem to lack most of the time.
My social awkwardness also prevented me from seeking out any room parties, or furs who might have been willing to do...stuff...with me (Yes, stuff related to my kinks, I shall not elaborate here). I went to a total of zero parties, and got zero action in the "stuff" area. But, ignoring my carnal desires, just the fact that I didn't go to any parties, nor even try to look for parties that would have interested me, ultimately made for long periods of extreme boredom between the very few panels that I attended. This, unfortunately, tended to make me also feel lonely.
Alas, that loneliness exploded into inappropriate rage on the last day of the con. It's best I not share the details, but let's just say that something happened which made me get very, VERY angry at one of my roommates...angry when I shouldn't have been. My friendship with this particular roommate is now possibly in jeopardy, along with the other roommate (Who was already upset at me due to my shyness making me not very talkative) and a third out-of-room friend of theirs who was indirectly involved in the altercation. This led to all three of them not speaking to me for the rest of the night, and me sitting alone in the lobby stewing in my anger, then depression. I screwed up, worse than I have ever screwed up before. This is a wound that can never be healed. My best friend, and two other new friends...shattered in a few seconds of inappropriate anger, all because I was feeling lonely at the time. I'm speaking again with the one, but the other two...I fear facing them again. I fear their reactions. Will they forgive me, or cast me out as an undesirable who doesn't deserve to even be in their presence, let alone speak with them or do stuff with them. This was bad...really bad. Something is wrong with me if I can suddenly lash out at a good friend of over 10 years as if they were an enemy.
As those who have been following me for a long time are likely aware, the past several years have not been kind to me. Literally half of my family has died. What probably hurt me the most, though, was when my dad died. After he died, both of my brothers and sister went to counseling...but I didn't. I tried to be the strong one, the one who kept saying "I can make it though without counseling. I can make it through without antidepressants." And so, here I am, nearly four years since dad died, four years of this grief with no assistance of any kind to allow it to express itself in a more controlled and healthy manner. I can't say for certain that this is ultimately what led to my explosion, but I wouldn't be surprised if it at least contributed to it. The moment dad died is the moment I truly began being alone. Mom died, then an aunt, then an uncle, then both grandmothers. Those hurt, but dad was still there. Yes, I still lived at home with him, I'm ashamed to admit that yet still freely admit it. I lived with him, and his presence there helped keep me grounded. Then, he died, and was no longer there. I was truly, completely...alone. I've been truly and completely alone since then. Yes, I have friends who care about me and a boyfriend who loves me, but even with them to talk to online or on the phone, the physical loneliness has likely taken its toll on me.
I wasn't the only one who didn't see very many panels that seemed interesting, both of my roommates made the same observation. The problem was...what we all personally considered "interesting" differed greatly. Thus, they were elsewhere for every single panel I went to. Now, logic and rationality tell me that this is a likely outcome of any gathering such as a fur con. There is no guarantee that all or any of the roommates will attend all of the same events, or even any of the same events. Unfortunately, the fact that none of them came to any of the same panels as me only seemed to compound my loneliness, and it kept growing, and festering. I was at MFF, a con with nearly 4,000 attendees, supposedly the second largest fur con in the country, if not the world...yet I felt alone, isolated, desolate. It was this growing loneliness that ultimately made me explode in anger at my roommate, in a fit of nonverbal door pounding and slamming, all the while feeling angry that they didn't come to any of the panels I attended when, in actuality, they weren't obligated to come. My anger was inappropriate and uncalled for. I once again apologize to not only both of my roommates, but also the out-of-room friend who got caught in the crossfire, as well as anyone else near our room who was disturbed by my outburst.
This episode is perhaps just the latest example which proves that, not only do I indeed need counseling, but that it is way, WAY overdue. I cannot continue allowing myself to have these feelings of loneliness, especially when they begin crossing into potential physical violence territory. This time, I just pounded on the door. Who's to say that the next time, I won't pound on someone else...potentially someone I care about? -_-
What's really ironic...it was after this outburst occurred when the stuff with the Spyro plushie happened. I did potentially irreparable harm to at least one friendship, only to turn around and perform what is perhaps one of the greatest acts of kindness I've done in a long time to a complete stranger. Perhaps I felt guilty...like I needed to do a good deed to try to counterbalance the horror I had unleashed earlier that same day. Alas, as good as the deed may have been, it pales in comparison to the emotional crime I had committed.
I need help...I really need help. Why the fuck am I so hesitant and scared to get the help I need? It's not money, a friend has offered to help pay for sessions. Even then, I still hesistate. What is wrong with me?
I apologize for the dark path down which this journal has gone, but my desire was to share my experiences at MFF, and as dark as it may be...this was one of the experiences. I think it might be best, both emotionally and financially, for me to hold off on going to any more cons for the foreseeable future, until I get my life and myself under better control.
For those who somehow managed to read this far...thank you for at least listening. You need not reply if you prefer not to or feel uncomfortable about it, but thank you for at listening nonetheless.
====================================
Full detailed version:
So, MFF 2013...my first ever MFF, and my second fur con overall. How would I rank it? Eh, it was...alright. Don't get me wrong, the con itself was awesome, and I did have fun when I was having fun. There were two things, though, that knocked it below RMFC 2012 on my personal enjoyment scale: lack of panels that personally interested me, and my social inadequacies...particularly my shyness and not knowing what to talk about in discussions. Sadly, my social issues ultimately led to an extremely unpleasant and out-of-place emotional outburst that, to be honest, is further proof that I'm most certainly way, way overdue for counseling or therapy. -_-
Anyway, let's forgo the bad stuff for the moment, and look at the good stuff. The few panels I did attend were fun. My favorites were the variety show, open mic standup and the therian panels. I also liked the "Whose Lion Is It Anyway" improv panel, which I attempted to participate in...but ultimately failed in a laughably miserable way. Hearing my own voice coming from the PA as I spoke was way, way too disorienting. XD
Other than the con suite, the only food I ate at the hotel was in the restaurant on the main level. It was good, but way overpriced UNLESS you 1-Do the buffet, and 2-Eat a metric shitton of food. We also ordered a pizza and some other stuff from Gino's. It was YUMMY. I never went into the bar, but after hearing about people having to wait ridiculously long amounts of time for service, I'm glad I didn't. Beyond that, once I discovered the con suite (Which I didn't even know existed until the second day), the rest of my meals came from there. I'm certain I drank a vast majority of the Cherry Coke dispensed from the soda machine, as that was my primary caffeine source during most of the con (Cherry Coke is my favorite flavor behind only Mexican Coke). :p
Dealers Den...I don't recall how much I spent, but I bought a LOT of stuff. However, unlike RMFC, this time I bought a lot more practical stuff that can actually be used beyond just being a decorative nicknack or...ahem...porn. :p. A majority of my purchases were t-shirts. I bought several dragon shirts, a couple Brony shirts, and then of course the con shirt, which they actually had in a size that will fit me (That, I will admit, is something RMFC DIDN'T have). I also bought a couple posters, a "Certified Dragon" badge (Which I hung from the Spyro plushie on my backpack XD), and a dragon tail! <3 It doesn't have a crest, but otherwise it's about the right color for my fursona. Maybe the start of a partial? I gotta get used to sitting with it tho...worried I'm gonna tear it or smush it out of shape or something. Although I did want to, I ended up not buying a single naughty thing from dealers den or artists alley. :p I'm wanting the new issues of Dragon's Hoard, but there was no Rabbit Valley table. Oh well, maybe next con, whenever that'll be (More on that later).
Other than an unpleasant occurrence mentioned further below, perhaps the most unexpected thing I did is something that may shock my followers...I gave away one of my Spyro plushies. O_O I don't have a fursuit, so one of the things I did to help people find me was attach my smallest Spyro plushie to my backpack and wore it around the con. On the last day of the con, I was sitting in the corridor near the con suite after the closing ceremonies when another fur noticed Spyro and approached, all but begging that I let him have it. At the time, I politely declined, and he walked away sad. Later that evening, just as I was getting ready to go back to the room for the night, something inside me clicked. I removed Spyro from my backpack and began looking for the guy. I eventually found him in the lobby. He pointed and said something along the lines of "I still want your Spyro". It was then that I held Spyro out to him, and said "Take good care of him." He couldn't believe it, and hugged me after accepting my gift. Yes, I will admit, I do feel a little sad about parting with one of my Spyro plushies. But, seeing the look of joy on his face when I handed it to him was totally worth it. He was a total stranger to me. I didn't know who he was...I still don't know who he was. I neglected to look at his con badge, and even if I did I likely wouldn't have remembered the name anyway. I wish I knew who he was. He was kinda tall and slim with a large blue spiked koopa shell backpack. He had a foreign accent, possibly French, but I couldn't say for sure. Anyway...sir, if by chance you happen to be reading this, I hope you enjoy your gift, and I'm glad to have met a fellow Spyro fan. :3
Between panels and other events, I mostly just spent my time randomly roaming the lobby, trying to find people to either talk to or hug. One of my regrets is not taking more pictures while doing my roaming. One of my roommates took literally hundreds of pictures, while I only took a couple dozen. Maybe having my camera out would have helped me garner the social interaction I desired, I dunno. Anyway, I hugged lots of dragons, which is what I was most wanting. <3 Not all of them, but a lot of them. I also hugged some other people too, mostly suiters, but also the occasional out-of-suit attendee. Although I wanted to, I didn't get to hug Telephone...but I DID get some OMGADORABLE squeaking and kinda-nuzzling action from her when I tried bidding on something at the charity auction. <3 Even though I don't personally know them, two of the dragons near the top of my "must hug" list were
xandertheblue and arashiin, and I got to hug them both in suit. <3 <3 <3 I just wish I wasn't so fucking shy, I WANT to get to know them and others on a personal level as friends, but I'm just too damn shy to talk to some, and when I do talk to others I clam up after a while not knowing what else to say. x_xSo, yeah, since I brought it back up, I might as well transition into the negatives that happened during this con. As I said, my shyness and social awkwardness really, REALLY held me back from enjoying the con to its full potential. As mentioned above, I rarely spoke to other people, and when I did it was just for a short while. My biggest problem is that I tend to live in a "wait for the action to come to me" mindset, and rarely seek out the action on my own. Thus, my random roaming with the hopes of getting fursuit hugs was, most of the time, ineffective. I kept hoping suiters would just randomly come up to me for hugs, instead of me actually approaching them and asking for a hug. The few I DID actually approach, as mentioned above, took an incredible amount of willpower that I seem to lack most of the time.
My social awkwardness also prevented me from seeking out any room parties, or furs who might have been willing to do...stuff...with me (Yes, stuff related to my kinks, I shall not elaborate here). I went to a total of zero parties, and got zero action in the "stuff" area. But, ignoring my carnal desires, just the fact that I didn't go to any parties, nor even try to look for parties that would have interested me, ultimately made for long periods of extreme boredom between the very few panels that I attended. This, unfortunately, tended to make me also feel lonely.
Alas, that loneliness exploded into inappropriate rage on the last day of the con. It's best I not share the details, but let's just say that something happened which made me get very, VERY angry at one of my roommates...angry when I shouldn't have been. My friendship with this particular roommate is now possibly in jeopardy, along with the other roommate (Who was already upset at me due to my shyness making me not very talkative) and a third out-of-room friend of theirs who was indirectly involved in the altercation. This led to all three of them not speaking to me for the rest of the night, and me sitting alone in the lobby stewing in my anger, then depression. I screwed up, worse than I have ever screwed up before. This is a wound that can never be healed. My best friend, and two other new friends...shattered in a few seconds of inappropriate anger, all because I was feeling lonely at the time. I'm speaking again with the one, but the other two...I fear facing them again. I fear their reactions. Will they forgive me, or cast me out as an undesirable who doesn't deserve to even be in their presence, let alone speak with them or do stuff with them. This was bad...really bad. Something is wrong with me if I can suddenly lash out at a good friend of over 10 years as if they were an enemy.
As those who have been following me for a long time are likely aware, the past several years have not been kind to me. Literally half of my family has died. What probably hurt me the most, though, was when my dad died. After he died, both of my brothers and sister went to counseling...but I didn't. I tried to be the strong one, the one who kept saying "I can make it though without counseling. I can make it through without antidepressants." And so, here I am, nearly four years since dad died, four years of this grief with no assistance of any kind to allow it to express itself in a more controlled and healthy manner. I can't say for certain that this is ultimately what led to my explosion, but I wouldn't be surprised if it at least contributed to it. The moment dad died is the moment I truly began being alone. Mom died, then an aunt, then an uncle, then both grandmothers. Those hurt, but dad was still there. Yes, I still lived at home with him, I'm ashamed to admit that yet still freely admit it. I lived with him, and his presence there helped keep me grounded. Then, he died, and was no longer there. I was truly, completely...alone. I've been truly and completely alone since then. Yes, I have friends who care about me and a boyfriend who loves me, but even with them to talk to online or on the phone, the physical loneliness has likely taken its toll on me.
I wasn't the only one who didn't see very many panels that seemed interesting, both of my roommates made the same observation. The problem was...what we all personally considered "interesting" differed greatly. Thus, they were elsewhere for every single panel I went to. Now, logic and rationality tell me that this is a likely outcome of any gathering such as a fur con. There is no guarantee that all or any of the roommates will attend all of the same events, or even any of the same events. Unfortunately, the fact that none of them came to any of the same panels as me only seemed to compound my loneliness, and it kept growing, and festering. I was at MFF, a con with nearly 4,000 attendees, supposedly the second largest fur con in the country, if not the world...yet I felt alone, isolated, desolate. It was this growing loneliness that ultimately made me explode in anger at my roommate, in a fit of nonverbal door pounding and slamming, all the while feeling angry that they didn't come to any of the panels I attended when, in actuality, they weren't obligated to come. My anger was inappropriate and uncalled for. I once again apologize to not only both of my roommates, but also the out-of-room friend who got caught in the crossfire, as well as anyone else near our room who was disturbed by my outburst.
This episode is perhaps just the latest example which proves that, not only do I indeed need counseling, but that it is way, WAY overdue. I cannot continue allowing myself to have these feelings of loneliness, especially when they begin crossing into potential physical violence territory. This time, I just pounded on the door. Who's to say that the next time, I won't pound on someone else...potentially someone I care about? -_-
What's really ironic...it was after this outburst occurred when the stuff with the Spyro plushie happened. I did potentially irreparable harm to at least one friendship, only to turn around and perform what is perhaps one of the greatest acts of kindness I've done in a long time to a complete stranger. Perhaps I felt guilty...like I needed to do a good deed to try to counterbalance the horror I had unleashed earlier that same day. Alas, as good as the deed may have been, it pales in comparison to the emotional crime I had committed.
I need help...I really need help. Why the fuck am I so hesitant and scared to get the help I need? It's not money, a friend has offered to help pay for sessions. Even then, I still hesistate. What is wrong with me?
I apologize for the dark path down which this journal has gone, but my desire was to share my experiences at MFF, and as dark as it may be...this was one of the experiences. I think it might be best, both emotionally and financially, for me to hold off on going to any more cons for the foreseeable future, until I get my life and myself under better control.
For those who somehow managed to read this far...thank you for at least listening. You need not reply if you prefer not to or feel uncomfortable about it, but thank you for at listening nonetheless.
How to find me at MFF
General | Posted 12 years agoI don't have a fursuit. Easiest way to find me is to watch for the shy-looking guy with a Spyro plushie attached to his backpack.
I may be shy, but I still enjoy hugs! :3
I may be shy, but I still enjoy hugs! :3
MFF Meme
General | Posted 12 years agoDid one of these for RMFC 2012, so of course I'm gonna also do one for MFF 2013! :3 There's seemingly several different versions of this meme, so don't be surprised if you see questions here that you didn't see on another fur's MFF Q&A meme or vice-versa (This is the same version I did for RMFC 2012, I'm sticking with it for simplicity).
Where are you staying?
Main hotel (Hyatt)
What day are you getting there?
Thursday late afternoon/early evening
Who will you be rooming with?
ryuuie and 
reservedrodent for the entire con, plus 
ookamisuke Thursday night
Who will you hang out with during the convention?
Other than my roomies and on occasion other Iowa furs, I WANT to hang out with other dragons. It has yet to be seen whether this will eventually happen or not.
Are there any panels you might be attending?
I know there will be a therian panel. I'm gonna go to that with the hopes of meeting other dragons (I know there's a difference between therian and otherkin, but since there is no specific otherkin panel this is the best I can do in those regards). Otherwise, I'll probably just see what interests me once we receive our detailed schedules at registration.
Are you attending any stage or public performances?
If I do, it'll only be as a member of the audience.
Will you be suiting?
I don't have a fursuit.
Which suit(s) will you be bringing?
I don't have a fursuit.
Do you do free art?
I don't consider myself good enough of an artist to feel comfortable drawing for others. Specifically, I feel that my current artistic methods are wholly incompatible with producing a custom-requested image that would ultimately meet the expectations of the requester or comissioner, unless they by unlikely chance happen to fall within the narrow scope of my current skills and abilities...I.E. more Spyro art that looks far too similar to my old art. :p
Do you do trades?
See above
Do you do badges?
See above
Do you do commissions?
See above
What is your gender?
Male
How tall are you?
5'6", short. :p
Are you taken? Are you looking for a 'mate'?
I am taken, not looking for a mate.
Can I talk to you?
Although I am excruciatingly shy, I have no trouble with people approaching and talking to me. I'll just apologize ahead of time in case I'm not very talkative in response. It's not lack of interest, I promise you that. It's my shyness combined with often not knowing what to say.
Can I touch you?
Touch me how? X3 Hugs and perhaps snuggles are ok. No sex since I'm taken. I must confess to a desire for stuff related to my kinks to occur (especially with other dragons), but I know this is highly unlikely to occur. If somehow it DOES occur though, then it will be of a very limited fashion (I shall not elaborate what specifically I am wanting here), and it still will not lead to sex. Sorry.
How can I find you?
I'll be wearing a badge, otherwise I don't know yet where I'll be at any specific moment.
Can I visit your room?
If my roommates give the OK...but sorry, no sex.
Can I buy you drinks?
Only if it's non-alcoholic (Water, soft drinks, juice, etc). I'm on cardiac meds that react quite badly to alcohol.
Can I give you stuff?
Sure, if you'd like. Depending on what it is though, I might not have anything suitable to give you in return right at that moment in time.
Can I hug or snuggle with you?
Of course you can hug me! Snuggle, will depend on my mood at the time. I like snuggles, but my shyness can hold me back. (Note, even if I DO snuggle, I WON'T have sex if you're hoping it'll go there).
Are you nice?
Yes, but again, my shyness can make me seem anti-social at times. I apologize for this, it is beyond my control.
How long are you going?
Thursday afternoon to Monday morning.
Do you have an artist table?
No
Will you have art in the Art Show? General or Adult sections?
No
If I see you, how should I get your attention?
Approach me from the front. Calling my name across the room, especially a crowded one, would potentially be futile because I'm partially deaf and likely wouldn't hear you.
Where will you be most of the time during the day/s?
Inside or within walking distance of the hotel most likely. I'm not familiar with the city and likely won't want to move my car out of fear of forever losing my parking spot. :x
What/where will you be eating?
It would be a sin to go to Chicago and not eat deep dish pizza. :p Other than that, not sure. Depends on what restaurants are around there. To save money, we might just find a grocery store and make most of our own meals.
Can I come with you for food/fun/etc?
If there's room in the car I'm riding in, then sure! :3
Can I look in your sketchbook?
I don't really have a "sketchbook", but I probably will have a book of my art with me. You can look, but be warned, it contains rather nasty stuff (Just look at my gallery and you'll know what's in it).
Can I draw in your sketchbook?
Sure, provided I remembered to bring it. But, I likely won't be able to draw anything in yours...my art methods are incompatible with putting pencil to paper. x_x (I'm currently a purely digital artist)
Can I take your picture?
I don't mind...as long as I don't look like a derp in it. XD
What's your goal(s) for the con this year?
Have fun and meet more furs. :3 (I didn't even need to change this answer from the last time XD)
Where are you staying?
Main hotel (Hyatt)
What day are you getting there?
Thursday late afternoon/early evening
Who will you be rooming with?
ryuuie and 
reservedrodent for the entire con, plus 
ookamisuke Thursday nightWho will you hang out with during the convention?
Other than my roomies and on occasion other Iowa furs, I WANT to hang out with other dragons. It has yet to be seen whether this will eventually happen or not.
Are there any panels you might be attending?
I know there will be a therian panel. I'm gonna go to that with the hopes of meeting other dragons (I know there's a difference between therian and otherkin, but since there is no specific otherkin panel this is the best I can do in those regards). Otherwise, I'll probably just see what interests me once we receive our detailed schedules at registration.
Are you attending any stage or public performances?
If I do, it'll only be as a member of the audience.
Will you be suiting?
I don't have a fursuit.
Which suit(s) will you be bringing?
I don't have a fursuit.
Do you do free art?
I don't consider myself good enough of an artist to feel comfortable drawing for others. Specifically, I feel that my current artistic methods are wholly incompatible with producing a custom-requested image that would ultimately meet the expectations of the requester or comissioner, unless they by unlikely chance happen to fall within the narrow scope of my current skills and abilities...I.E. more Spyro art that looks far too similar to my old art. :p
Do you do trades?
See above
Do you do badges?
See above
Do you do commissions?
See above
What is your gender?
Male
How tall are you?
5'6", short. :p
Are you taken? Are you looking for a 'mate'?
I am taken, not looking for a mate.
Can I talk to you?
Although I am excruciatingly shy, I have no trouble with people approaching and talking to me. I'll just apologize ahead of time in case I'm not very talkative in response. It's not lack of interest, I promise you that. It's my shyness combined with often not knowing what to say.
Can I touch you?
Touch me how? X3 Hugs and perhaps snuggles are ok. No sex since I'm taken. I must confess to a desire for stuff related to my kinks to occur (especially with other dragons), but I know this is highly unlikely to occur. If somehow it DOES occur though, then it will be of a very limited fashion (I shall not elaborate what specifically I am wanting here), and it still will not lead to sex. Sorry.
How can I find you?
I'll be wearing a badge, otherwise I don't know yet where I'll be at any specific moment.
Can I visit your room?
If my roommates give the OK...but sorry, no sex.
Can I buy you drinks?
Only if it's non-alcoholic (Water, soft drinks, juice, etc). I'm on cardiac meds that react quite badly to alcohol.
Can I give you stuff?
Sure, if you'd like. Depending on what it is though, I might not have anything suitable to give you in return right at that moment in time.
Can I hug or snuggle with you?
Of course you can hug me! Snuggle, will depend on my mood at the time. I like snuggles, but my shyness can hold me back. (Note, even if I DO snuggle, I WON'T have sex if you're hoping it'll go there).
Are you nice?
Yes, but again, my shyness can make me seem anti-social at times. I apologize for this, it is beyond my control.
How long are you going?
Thursday afternoon to Monday morning.
Do you have an artist table?
No
Will you have art in the Art Show? General or Adult sections?
No
If I see you, how should I get your attention?
Approach me from the front. Calling my name across the room, especially a crowded one, would potentially be futile because I'm partially deaf and likely wouldn't hear you.
Where will you be most of the time during the day/s?
Inside or within walking distance of the hotel most likely. I'm not familiar with the city and likely won't want to move my car out of fear of forever losing my parking spot. :x
What/where will you be eating?
It would be a sin to go to Chicago and not eat deep dish pizza. :p Other than that, not sure. Depends on what restaurants are around there. To save money, we might just find a grocery store and make most of our own meals.
Can I come with you for food/fun/etc?
If there's room in the car I'm riding in, then sure! :3
Can I look in your sketchbook?
I don't really have a "sketchbook", but I probably will have a book of my art with me. You can look, but be warned, it contains rather nasty stuff (Just look at my gallery and you'll know what's in it).
Can I draw in your sketchbook?
Sure, provided I remembered to bring it. But, I likely won't be able to draw anything in yours...my art methods are incompatible with putting pencil to paper. x_x (I'm currently a purely digital artist)
Can I take your picture?
I don't mind...as long as I don't look like a derp in it. XD
What's your goal(s) for the con this year?
Have fun and meet more furs. :3 (I didn't even need to change this answer from the last time XD)
Buck vs. Buick. Round 1...FIGHT!
General | Posted 12 years agoThis time of year, the deer get horny. When they get horny, they begin migrating. When they begin migrating, they eventually have to cross major roads with heavy traffic. When they cross major roads with heavy traffic, there's bound to be cars crashing and fur flying.
Last night, it was my turn to experience this drama. A kamikaze deer decided to see if it was possible to occupy the same physical spot as my moving car. Nope.
I'm ok, damage was relatively minor, mostly to the driver's door. No windows broke, no airbags deployed and the car is still drivable. Scared me more than anything. Hopefully insurance will cover it.
So, yeah...if you wanna find me at MFF, look for the red Buick with the giant dent in the driver's door. :p
Last night, it was my turn to experience this drama. A kamikaze deer decided to see if it was possible to occupy the same physical spot as my moving car. Nope.
I'm ok, damage was relatively minor, mostly to the driver's door. No windows broke, no airbags deployed and the car is still drivable. Scared me more than anything. Hopefully insurance will cover it.
So, yeah...if you wanna find me at MFF, look for the red Buick with the giant dent in the driver's door. :p
Dragon art raffle
General | Posted 12 years agoAre you a dragon, or do you have a dragon character?
Want free art of said dragon character?
Raffle time! See https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/5135642/ for details. :3
Want free art of said dragon character?
Raffle time! See https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/5135642/ for details. :3
Easy $100 Raffle
General | Posted 12 years agoWanna win $100? Of course you do.
What do you gotta do? You don't have to buy any tickets. You don't have to commission anyone or otherwise spend any money. You don't even have to draw or have any artistic abilities (It's a raffle, not a contest).
This is the easiest raffle to participate in.
For instructions and rules, see http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/5101472/. :3
What do you gotta do? You don't have to buy any tickets. You don't have to commission anyone or otherwise spend any money. You don't even have to draw or have any artistic abilities (It's a raffle, not a contest).
This is the easiest raffle to participate in.
For instructions and rules, see http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/5101472/. :3
Want a commission?
General | Posted 12 years agoCheck out ryuuie, he does good commissions. He's open right now! :3
ryuuie, he does good commissions. He's open right now! :38/15/1983
General | Posted 12 years agoI am now officially a graymuzzle. :p
