Well, if you want the short version, it wasn't so bright. Christmas, New Year's Eve and the first days of 2015 were a combination of sadness and dullness, not to mention the fact that there was a very obvious lack of Christmas carols to be heard (I loved hearing these during Christmas..) and another very obvious lack of Christmas text messages that everyone receives.

If you want the longer version here is what happened: The winter of 2014 started with some bad marks at school, which of course drove my mum nuts. Just so I don't make this longer, there was a lot of yelling, a lot of shouting, a lot of verbal abuse to make me feel like the last shit on this planet we know. Then my grandmother died and that made me cry like a pathetic loser in my pillow, being sorry for not spending more time with her *whimpers*. Then, moving on, Christmas came, no yelling from my parents because of bad marks because I struggled not to have any, but my mum made a "nice" scene stating all my fails at the Christmas dinner with the whole family (nice one mum, nice one...) embarrassing me in front of everyone... Then New Year came and I expected stuff to go up, but it remained stationary let's say. At the present moment things aren't going well either. Incidents with my parents just because I expressed one wish I had, to save up money (my money) for a console. I never had one and after seeing some next generation video games running on a PS3 (which is what I wanted o buy) I thought I could use one too since now they are A LOT cheaper than they used to be, but of course I had only made my parents hit the roof with this wish of mine. Currently trying to get myself out of the darkness that I involuntarily entered by visiting a psychologist on a regular basis and I hope she will be able to at least ameliorate my state because I can't go like this any longer..

Wondering how people would react if on my FA was stated clearly 'DECEASED' ? That isn't good for sure, not to mention the fact that once I've encountered something bad I just started shouting 'Give me a knife! I want to end my sorry life!' but just ended up crying a lot until headaches soon appeared, affecting my sleep as well, and yeah, that's how much of a coward I am, not being able to do something like putting an end to my life *sigh* Not to mention the fact that some people recently (not going to give names because I'm not that much of a bastard) have recently become my 'enemies' after not letting me express my opinion several times in a row, and after I saw how much of a weird kind of thinking they are into. Seriously, supporting projects that are like the Holocaust is very racist and they should feel at least ashamed.

Either way, I've already wasted too much of your precious time so I will end the journal here.

VENT JOURNAL - DO NOT READ IF YOU DON'T WANT TO (nobody is forcing you..)

Merry Christmas to everyone, wish you all the best and a happy New Year. Also felt like sharing something that just came up in my mind recently, a short history lesson:
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=X7e87aIU22Q

Today, the 12th of December, 2014, I helped raising almost 5000$ US Dollars to help orphanages in my state, just by singing. It felt amazing. Goodness! :3

This picture says it all: http://prntscr.com/4zn6tw
I'm a little happier, yay.

Farewell, you will be forever missed.

My heart will always have a little place for you, the gentleness with which you carried things out between me and my parents and the warmth of the words you always used to calm me whenever I cried will make sure of that. May God offer you a royal place to live up there above the clouds though a not even a royal place is enough for your actions here.

I will never forget you, rest in peace..

First time I went to the school psychologist in order to take some tests about what job would fit me, what personality do I have and if my personality matches the job I want. Went well, can't complain, but I still have other three appointments to attend until I can get my final results and see if what I want is actually what matches me. I think I can also go to the psychologist in case I feel sad or depressed, maybe she can help me get a grip on this. I hope so..

Stolen this from  lyk because why not ?

Are you afraid of:

[x] the dark
[x] staying single forever
[ ] being a parent
[ ] giving birth
[x] being myself in front of others
[ ] open spaces
[x] closed spaces
[ ] heights
[x] dogs
[ ] birds
[ ] fish
[x] spiders (Arachnophobia ;m;)
[ ] flowers or other plants
Total so far: 5

[ ] being touched <- Nope, but hehe -> LevioSAA http://www.leviosaa.com/
[ ] fire
[x] deep water
[x] snakes
[ ] silk
[x] failure
[ ] success
[x] thunder/lightning
[x] frogs/toads
[ ] girlfriends/boyfriend's dad
[ ] girlfriends/boyfriend's mom
[x] rats
[ ] jumping from high places
[ ] snow
Total so far: 11

[ ] rain
[ ] wind
[ ] crossing hanging bridges
[x] death
[ ] heaven
[ ] being robbed
[x] falling
[ ] clowns
[ ] dolls
[x] large crowds of people
[ ] men
[ ] women
[x] having great responsibilities
[x] doctors, including dentists
[x] tornadoes
Total so far: 17

[x] hurricanes
[x] incurable diseases
[x] sharks
[x] friday the 13th
[x] ghosts
[ ] poverty
[ ] halloween
[ ] school
[ ] trains
[x] odd numbers
[ ] even numbers
[x] becoming blind
[x] becoming deaf
[ ] growing up
Total so far: 25

[x] creepy noises in the night
[ ] bee stings
[x] not accomplishing my dreams/goals
[ ] blood
[x] dinosaurs
[ ] the welcome mat
[x] high speed
[ ] throwing up
[x] falling in love
[ ] super secrets
Total: 30

If you wish to post this journal, it's been requested that you title it, "I'm afraid of __ out of 72 fears"

if you get more than 30, I highly suggest counseling
if you get more than 20, you're paranoid
if you get 10-20, you're normal.
if you get under 10, you're fearless.

Okay, I need a psychologist ;-; This akita has BIG problems.

Rest in peace innocent people that lost their lives in the muslim terrorist attack in New York, World Trade Center. May God offer you a good endless stay in heaven where you belong, and to the children that lost their fathers or mothers in the attack, may your distress not be very painful. It was terrifying news across the globe amd I hope this catastrophic incident won't repeat itself.

Well, very ashamed because of certain people from my country making the rest of us feel ashamed because of the major problems they cause outside.. I mean WTF you don't go to a country to steal or to warn someone for money using black magic (btw, that wont work, people from outside are far more intelligent to know black magic doesn't even exist), that's not what you do... Its mostly these rromany (yeah, double R because they are a different nation) people that cause problems while romanian (single R) people like me have to 'suffer' after this... And just so you can tell how stupid they are, imagine this scenario, me and two friends of mine went cycling, we rode our bikes for more than 12 km non-stop and we needed a break, so we pulled off on a side of a PUBLIC road (keep that in mind) and some random rromany people started throwing rocks at us, and one of them could have hit me in the head.. yeah, very nice, one of my friends almost got his ribs broken after being beaten by one of those, another almost got stabbed .. I want to get out of here as fast as possible..
Sorry for the sort of rant journal, but I felt like writing something to feel better and also because I've been kinda inactive on FA lately.

Tonight I didn't sleep at all, too much stress on my head, now I pay the price, my head hurts and I'm starving, my eyes don't know what to do, close or stay open ? I'm laughing when I'm sad, its pretty weird, I guess certain people like to see me suffering, and like a fool I am I let them win...

What can I say ? Steam is really a pain in the ass, I bought like 10 euros in PaySafe Card so I can add funds to my steam wallet. Guess what, Steam has taken 10 euros from my PaySafe Card but I received no money in my wallet, really nice right ? They have a horrible support team, absolutely spicy prices and they are total money whores since they implemented this trading cards thing. Valve, you disappointed me very much...

OMG OMG OMG, new gameplay trailer <3 <3 <3 Cannot wait for this game, it's amazing, I'm so glad they decided to do a prequel <3 <3 <3
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5YD2elAiDNo

Apparently I have bipolar disorder *sighs* I'm not proud of that, well, life still goes on, doesn't it ? Now, a little question, does someone know a good site to stream on ? I want to do something with the tablet.

My mom just called to me let me know that the graphic tablet arrived <33 Unfortunately I'm still stuck at school in this other town than my home town, so I have to wait until tomorrow to get back home and test it :D <3

.. finally, I ordered my graphic tablet!!! <333 I'm so happy, there were only 2 left on the website and I had mine, I think it's going to arrive in like 2-3 days, omg I can't wait :3 I'm going to sketch and draw so many things *pukes some rainbows* Ok, maybe I went to far with puking rainbows, but I'm so excited right now ^^

Don't mind me, I'm just feeling weird these days, been watching some anime, and I think that's the weirdest kind of insanity I have ever seen
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AjbGz2kd7UI

Tonight I drove for the first time and it was a complete success <3 On a dark field I had nothing but the car's lights so I couldn't really see the pedals well, but I knew their order and I managed to tame our car's strong engine and drove for like 150 meters <3 My dad also said we should try this again and again from time to time ^^

Why did it escalate so quickly from just a minor sneeze symptom to sneezing, coughing, throat feeling weird, headache, tired eyes and fever ? Just why ? It's probably the first time in my life I felt this way, having a painful cold, I can't concentrate with this headache, my nose is always distracting my attention as well and my tired eyes seem like they can close at any time, worst of all I have a semestrial test at Biology right tomorrow and I still have a lot to learn, but thanks to this brilliant cold I can't concentrate at all. I'm always making little pain sounds at every 5 seconds, not because I want to but because my body feels like it, it's weird and scares me. My medicine don't seem to make their effect as well, well that sucks...

This Sunday my father might give me the car for a test drive ;D So I can see how it is to drive a real car, so far I only did it in video games, and yes, I realise it won't be like pressing W A S D on a keyboard to make it move, it's going to be more complex, so it's a challenge I accept! >:3 I might post some pictures of me at the steering wheel ^^.

I just reached this small goal, hehe, over 1000 <3 Thank you all! :D

I've been thinking to start coloring pics for people so I can earn some money, and of course because I'm at start and I don't have so much experience with shading (which I hope I will learn when I will get my graphic tablet) I though it would be a good idea to have really low prices, so, if anyone is interested (and also if you can spread the word, please do it :3 ) I will color line art pictures you got (size doesn't matter) and will ask for money depending on how complex the line art is (twisted stuff that might get me dizzy and change colors without noticing x3 ). So, I hope I will earn some money that I might use for games on Steam or such ^^. P.S: Made this decision because I'm a big boy (16 years old) and I thought I can take care of things that I want by myself x3. I will edit my FA page so I have my details such as the PayPal e-mail and so.

Commissions:
Simple Line Art Coloring - 2$
Medium Line Art Coloring - 3-4$
Hard Line Art Coloring - 5$

Warnings 'N' Stuff: I will not color free line arts! Usually the artists that do free line arts say 'Do not ask for money for coloring this line art'. Also the payment should be done via PayPal and if you are interested, contacting me via Skype is much more appreciated ^^ If you don't have Skype then just send me a note on FA.

See you :3.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QJelsOHe6xk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h7ArUgxtlJs

I can't get these out of my head >.< They are so good <3 <3 <3

Tomorrow I will pay so I sign up for the IC3. IC3 (Internet and Computing Core Certificate) is just something I will eventually need, so I'm thinking of giving the tests now and get the certificate which will help me when I will be at university, wish me luck! :3

... is my birthday officially! ^^ 16 years old, hmm, made it this far ? X3 Never thought about myself reaching this age xD.

Because I'm selling my tablet (and might get half of the money I need for what I want) and my birthday is coming and I might get some money from my relatives and probably saving some money during the following months, I'm thinking of buying a Launchpad from company Novation. I fell in love with that thing right from the start <3 <3 <3.

For people who don't know what a Launchpad is, here are some examples ;3:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SAXpBgkXt60
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y04W3RFKxwk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2SaB-05BpKw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3vC5TsSyNjU

Not only you can have fun playing (by pressing many buttons) your favourite songs, it also has some cool lights *tongue hanging on a side of his muzzle* What can you ask more ? x3 I just hope my parents will agree, everything is cool and seems clear until the problem with my parents shows up, they might not agree with it.