So I’m going to use this journal for two things.

FIRST: A continuation of my last journal
Well things are starting to look up for KaGe here. I received and email today, stating I have been selected out of all (hundred something) who applied for a PGA/CGA internship for the coming fall and spring semesters. I am one of three people still in the running, so I’m feeling pretty figgin special right now. This could be the big opportunity I have been praying for, it could lead to some many doors opening and maybe even a job later down the road. See, I told y’all if you can just keep the faith, something good will happen, and it couldn’t come at a better time.

SECOND: I need to announce something
I have been doing some soul searching lately. After much (probably way to much) thought I have come to a conclusion. I’m going to become a spilt fursona personality. The first is my current one the adult bear, who is a golfer and therapist (so it seems). However, my new part is my lilfur self. I have been searching around in it for some time now, and after some help from TaviMunk and OzzieKitSkunk, I have decided to throw my hat into the ring. My lilfur self will still be a bear, but he will be interested in the normal cub affairs. (FYI, tried the whole diaper thing, not really my cup of tea) My lilfur self is more of the playful and prankster side of my personality. I have always had a sort of split personality (if you don’t believe me you can ask anyone who has known me for a long time).

That’s it for now, thanks for reading

KaGe

P.S. for the definition of lilfur click here: http://furry.wikia.com/wiki/Lilfur

Drama. All it should be is a word, just four simple letters but it’s not. Drama effects cause so many things in people’s conscious mind. It causes then to miss things and create unnecessary problems.

A friend is having a problem with drama and everything which comes with it. As I talked to her (over the phone) for like an hour, she asked me how I seem to have so little of it and when I do I laugh it off.

Well my life does have a lot of drama. Right now, my mother and I are still having awkward moments over my furryness, with every track award my sister is winning right now only reminds me of how much of a fuck up I really am, and I can’t find an internship already having three blown up in my face and even offering to work for free. So, my life kinda sucks, but that is the beauty of it all.

In some sick kind of way, I enjoy when life kicks me in the ass and breaks my legs. These rough times only make the good times that much better. If life was all rainbows and full of easy tasks there would be no joy, there must be bad because without it there is no good.

Still, how do I laugh at drama? I found it funny how people’s faith in themselves and others is disposed of, one little problem and they give up on it. That to me is funny because it is only the real thing in this world. Without it we would have no friends or loved ones and we couldn’t even expect anything to get done.

So, my friends when life knocks you in the ass and breaks you legs, whole tight to your faith in love. For it has a power beyond the limits of the world. It works in mysterious ways and does some strange things, but it will turn you life around.

P.S. here’s a good link to try: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YwKP2w5hmfQ

LAYER ONE : THE OUTSIDE
Name: KaGe or K.G. (I go by both)
Birthday: January 28th
Current Location: My old room at my parents...ugh
Eye Color: Blue
Hair Color: Brown
Righty or Lefty: Right
Zodiac Sign: Not sure

LAYER TWO: THE INSIDE
Your fears: Having thoughts of suicide come back to me
Your perfect pizza: got to have a lot of sauce and cheese
Goal for future: Long Term: To be a successful GM at a golf course some where Short Term: Try and go to a con and meet up with real people

LAYER THREE:
Your thoughts first waking up: Time to get to work and practice
Your best physical feature: That's a good one
Your bedtime: When I want
Your most missed memory: My best friend I left behing in TN

LAYER FOUR:
Pepsi or Coke: Coke all the way!
McDonald's or Burger King: McDonald's (BK keeps on burning my burger)
Single or group dates: Single
Adidas or Nike: Golf wise I say Adidas Non-Golf wise I say Nike
Lipton tea or Nestea: I hate tea
Chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate
Cappuccino or coffee: I hate coffee

LAYER FIVE: DO YOU?
Lie: Yes
Take a shower: Um...duh
Believe in yourself: I need to do more of that

LAYER SIX: EVER?
Been on stage: Yes
Gone skating: Use to before my leg surgeries screwed that up
Dyed your hair: bleached it many of times, in fact in middle school I bleached my eye brows to match my hair

LAYER SEVEN: RANDOM
Gotten beaten up: Yeah but I put up a hell of a good fight
Changed who you were to fit in: Not anymore

LAYER EIGHT: AGE
Are you old: 20
What did you do for your last birthday: went to class, then the golf course til dark

LAYER NINE: IN A BOY OR GIRL
Best eye color: No prefrence
Best hair color: Same
Clothing style: Same

LAYER TEN: WHAT WERE YOU DOING
1 minute ago: Watching videos on YouTube
1 hour ago: Watching the NASCAR All Star Race
1 year ago: Sleeping before I went to work

LAYER ELEVEN: FINISH THE SENTENCE
I love: golf
I feel: nervous when it comes to furries
I hide: my anger (gotten me in trouble way too many times)
I miss: the ability to do what I want when I want
I want: to meet more furries and go to a con
I need: to get to work so I can get money

For most of my life, I have been called a "therapist." My friends all throughout school have come to me asking advise about relationships, work, and family problems. (Don't ask why, I don't know and can't figure it out)

Never before has someone asked me this. "What is your true outlook on life? What do you really feel is right? How does this effect your outlook on the issues which shape our time?"

My friend asked me this the other day and I must say I have been floored by these questions. I've never really thought about it, but now it's getting to me. (I have been racking my brain over and over again)

So over the next few days I'm going to find out the answers to these questions. I may post them here but I'm not sure if it's a good idea.

However, I will ask you the same thing. What is your true outlook on life? What do you really feel is right? How does this effect your outlook on the issues which shape our time?

Today I worked and played golf with my Grandpa. We played with a few of his old friends from back in the day, and one of them is the former city commissioner and something else (I can't remember).

As we played the two started to argue past, current, and future politics. It was and interesting event to watch. These men come from a completely different mind set. Both men come from highly conservative backgrounds and are unopen when it comes to new ideas.

Myself, being liberal, am open to all sorts of new ideas. My Grandpa and his friend, argued all kinds of things, anywhere from gay marriage to different races. They had the typical views you expect, they hate gay marriage and have a sort of racist views when it comes to other races.

However, it was interesting (and sort of funny) to hear the other side of the arguement for once. So if you ever get a chance, listen to your elders and try to understand they side of the story, because the best way to understand an arguement is to see it from both sides

Well my my biggest fear of moving back home was having my furry side discovered. Hell, I didn't even make it home and my mother found out.

My mother and her friend from work came to help me move out of my dorm room today. All was going well until my mom's friend saw something sticking out of my cargo pocket. It was part of the badge TaviMuck gave me, the one I had done some much to keep secret from her. Without thinking my mom's friend said, "Hey was that?" and before I could react she pulled it out of my pocket.

Her first reaction was "OMG! What is this?...Are you one of those furry 'things'?" My mom came rushing in to see what the problem was, and that's when it turned bad.

I had to explain to her what this was all about. Now all she knows about is that anti-furry nonsense where they say all furries just get together and hump each other.

I said that was completely false. Now most of the fandom is a sexual fetish, but there are those, like myself, who do it for fun and not the sexual part. I'm only 20, I just wanted to do something outside my box and have a lot of fun.

However, now my mom thinks I go around and dress up like a bear, like I some kind of kid. She said she was very disappointed in me.

I DON'T CARE! I finally take a step outside my box, like she has wanted me to do for years and now she gets mad when I do. WTF! I will remain a furry, I believe my character KaGe has become a part of me. I enjoy being a furry and I'm not going to stop.

Ohh, it looks like summer is going to fun. Wish me luck, I gonna need it.

I was looking around the other day and I found three furries who lived in Georgia.

Those three furries would be TaviMunk, OzzieKitSkunk, and TripHazard.

I started to talk to them, and they invited be into their home. For that I am greatful.

They are the first furries I have met in real life, and they were great. I learned a lot from them.

I wish I found out where they lived earlier, they were great fun to hang out with. Now with school ending, I fear I may not see them again for a long time.

I’m glad I can call them friends.

Alright, let me start out by stating things about myself. I am a golfer, yes I actually enjoy playing that sport your dad falls asleep every weekend.

My political belief is liberal, which means I believe everybody should be able to do what they want as long as you don’t break the law. Now for the strange part, I am a member of the Republican Party. I don’t agree with President Obama on everything, nor did I agree with McCain neither, but I hope he does a good job.

I actually am in college now, I am a sophomore. I enjoy the taste of life on my own, and I have begun to look up things I have always been interested in but never pursued. One of things would be the furry fandom. I have looked around before, but my parents aren’t as easily accepting as I am.

I have been looking around the fandom, discovering things like cons, furries’ personal websites, and websites like FurAffinity. I am interested in the minds of furries, what they think, feel, and belief. I also am interested in how they discovered their furry side.

I like to see how other people think. I believe everyone can benefit from trying to understand people with different beliefs. My friends come from a variety of different backgrounds, and have many of different beliefs. Now, I am trying to understand to subcultures within the fandom.

The two subcultures would be the Babyfurs and Transgenders. I’m having trouble understanding the ideas of the people involved. So if anyone would care to help me out, I would like to talk to you.

I’m sure that’s too much for now, but again thank you for taking the time to look at my page and read my journal. :)