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It's a start...(updated)
Posted 16 years agoStill with all the lulz and other aspects of conversation welded into the community. It's a wonder it doesn't burst from so much hate.
If there's still so much doubt and anyone feels the right to complain, try something more positive?
1. Contact the show directly by mail or email.
2. Boycott the Tyra Banks show, raise money to sue.
3. Start a petition against the show.
4. Do absolutely nothing and just get on with your lives like normal.
Take your pick people.
If there's still so much doubt and anyone feels the right to complain, try something more positive?
1. Contact the show directly by mail or email.
2. Boycott the Tyra Banks show, raise money to sue.
3. Start a petition against the show.
4. Do absolutely nothing and just get on with your lives like normal.
Take your pick people.
Censorship in the community
Posted 16 years agoIt's amazing how things are quickly turned upside down and inside out in today's world, hmm?
For starters for those that missed it, it's been an emotional roller coaster. I'll start by saying if anyone donated to the cause from my last post, they made over $50,000 and helped ACT Today immensely from the effort. Congrats are in order for that one, good week for gamers that was. Back on topic though.
You wonder why some might not be as compelled to post or place things in public? Simply because of backlash and how others will perceive your actions. Again, something hitting the nail on the head, close to the mark or whatever you call it, is just astounding on how others react.
Selfishly again, I see how others react over the fact of what transpired from the Tyra talk show, something about this: http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/945722/
and this: http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/Chewfox
for a recap on anyone missing the events. Drama is oozing from that so feel free to browse if you desire to, just a warning.
You see in pioneering any innovative thought, there's always a backlash. Like any independent thinker, you can be swept up in fantasy of thinking you are doing the right thing when from a stand point by your peers it can be seen as horribly wrong because it is different.
I can vouch for this as what happened months before, you can say that is why I have been so dormant aside commenting on works of art or journals as of late. Like a creature kept in a cage, so has it that I would not place myself in harm's way to be thrown into the same den that recently someone else has in a similar manner.
It's a feeling of disgust for peers of the community and even higher staff and complying with those whims of those of that manner that can put things into a different perspective.
For those that have recently watched me if you haven't read as far back as the start of the year, I was branded by someone close as a stalker. To this day that badge in the internets still holds as yet like a scarlet letter, that person holds the same regard to me like it was done no day later than last.
Long story short, I too did something out of the box, or thinking more not of myself but of them in general and I too had the feelings that maybe who I was intending to impress and show something good was only besmirched on the fact of it blowing up in my face. I had art pieces done and because this person I had them done for was so upset with me, they had them removed by admin so in turn what I had commissioned was censored. I was not banned as this other person has done for appearing on tv which even by standards of what I did would not even come close to applying a ban for.
All this has shown is the whole community played itself like a fiddle and lived so far on the doubts of what others think of them that they forgot the most important things in being true to themselves. This person wasn't afraid either to do something more. They were not afraid to say to the world they are a furry. To this day, no one else really tried something like that to be taken more on a positive note, but all most did was cry about they would be ridiculed for it as if they had something to be ashamed about in other people. I thought if something is important to you, then why should you apologize or show that you aren't proud of who or what you are even in public?
I sympathize with the person I may have hurt in they did not wish to see that at that time, but they acted no different than what the community has done over the day. I was thrown under the bus too. My real name was plastered on their page, I was humiliated at their expense to be seen as something disgusting that I wasn't even. They completely turned their back on me when the whole real reason I went through all of what I was to prove I was a real friend, that they were worth something to me. They were that special to me. It may have been months, but that pain doesn't go away, it's a scar because people turned their back on you when you never thought they would because you wouldn't turn their back on them ever and just gave them their space.
When I see this person's real person meme I can't say I could love them, not like I used to. As I will always love them, but could I love someone that turns their back on people? The real essence of the person is like that picture. Not the kind hearted maiden under the scaleless flesh who was a slave to capture the hearts of many and all by being that genuine and beautiful not just on the inside. Who was also caring and compassionate, but now is the loathesome spiteful bitch who's appearance is only the prison they made for themselves in fantasies and lies in what is real and what holds true meaning. They'd rather throw someone close to them to the wolves, or take as many bullets to save a fantasy and care more of what the world sees them as than those that are truly close to them.
To a community that should show more in compassion and understanding it too falls flat on it's face of failure at every turn. This again only asserts why it's better not to share things if there is censorship on a website there shouldn't be. Too many immature people ruin things and again that is cemented into this fandom. This is why people hate furries not because others have fetishes with it. They have no real connection with the real world and succumb to anything that might dent their fantasy.
Overall in a whole, the community needs a pep talk and a face lift in maturity. That will be the only way to be taken seriously with the public, so until that day comes I suppose more people will hide online to gripe. The true people are those that do more to make dreams reality. Those that can move away from the computer. Those that are proud of who they are. Do you see where I am going with this? It's time to wake up and you know what? When that day comes, only then do good things happen. Worry less on what others think of you, and you might accomplish something extroadinary.
For starters for those that missed it, it's been an emotional roller coaster. I'll start by saying if anyone donated to the cause from my last post, they made over $50,000 and helped ACT Today immensely from the effort. Congrats are in order for that one, good week for gamers that was. Back on topic though.
You wonder why some might not be as compelled to post or place things in public? Simply because of backlash and how others will perceive your actions. Again, something hitting the nail on the head, close to the mark or whatever you call it, is just astounding on how others react.
Selfishly again, I see how others react over the fact of what transpired from the Tyra talk show, something about this: http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/945722/
and this: http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/Chewfox
for a recap on anyone missing the events. Drama is oozing from that so feel free to browse if you desire to, just a warning.
You see in pioneering any innovative thought, there's always a backlash. Like any independent thinker, you can be swept up in fantasy of thinking you are doing the right thing when from a stand point by your peers it can be seen as horribly wrong because it is different.
I can vouch for this as what happened months before, you can say that is why I have been so dormant aside commenting on works of art or journals as of late. Like a creature kept in a cage, so has it that I would not place myself in harm's way to be thrown into the same den that recently someone else has in a similar manner.
It's a feeling of disgust for peers of the community and even higher staff and complying with those whims of those of that manner that can put things into a different perspective.
For those that have recently watched me if you haven't read as far back as the start of the year, I was branded by someone close as a stalker. To this day that badge in the internets still holds as yet like a scarlet letter, that person holds the same regard to me like it was done no day later than last.
Long story short, I too did something out of the box, or thinking more not of myself but of them in general and I too had the feelings that maybe who I was intending to impress and show something good was only besmirched on the fact of it blowing up in my face. I had art pieces done and because this person I had them done for was so upset with me, they had them removed by admin so in turn what I had commissioned was censored. I was not banned as this other person has done for appearing on tv which even by standards of what I did would not even come close to applying a ban for.
All this has shown is the whole community played itself like a fiddle and lived so far on the doubts of what others think of them that they forgot the most important things in being true to themselves. This person wasn't afraid either to do something more. They were not afraid to say to the world they are a furry. To this day, no one else really tried something like that to be taken more on a positive note, but all most did was cry about they would be ridiculed for it as if they had something to be ashamed about in other people. I thought if something is important to you, then why should you apologize or show that you aren't proud of who or what you are even in public?
I sympathize with the person I may have hurt in they did not wish to see that at that time, but they acted no different than what the community has done over the day. I was thrown under the bus too. My real name was plastered on their page, I was humiliated at their expense to be seen as something disgusting that I wasn't even. They completely turned their back on me when the whole real reason I went through all of what I was to prove I was a real friend, that they were worth something to me. They were that special to me. It may have been months, but that pain doesn't go away, it's a scar because people turned their back on you when you never thought they would because you wouldn't turn their back on them ever and just gave them their space.
When I see this person's real person meme I can't say I could love them, not like I used to. As I will always love them, but could I love someone that turns their back on people? The real essence of the person is like that picture. Not the kind hearted maiden under the scaleless flesh who was a slave to capture the hearts of many and all by being that genuine and beautiful not just on the inside. Who was also caring and compassionate, but now is the loathesome spiteful bitch who's appearance is only the prison they made for themselves in fantasies and lies in what is real and what holds true meaning. They'd rather throw someone close to them to the wolves, or take as many bullets to save a fantasy and care more of what the world sees them as than those that are truly close to them.
To a community that should show more in compassion and understanding it too falls flat on it's face of failure at every turn. This again only asserts why it's better not to share things if there is censorship on a website there shouldn't be. Too many immature people ruin things and again that is cemented into this fandom. This is why people hate furries not because others have fetishes with it. They have no real connection with the real world and succumb to anything that might dent their fantasy.
Overall in a whole, the community needs a pep talk and a face lift in maturity. That will be the only way to be taken seriously with the public, so until that day comes I suppose more people will hide online to gripe. The true people are those that do more to make dreams reality. Those that can move away from the computer. Those that are proud of who they are. Do you see where I am going with this? It's time to wake up and you know what? When that day comes, only then do good things happen. Worry less on what others think of you, and you might accomplish something extroadinary.
Donations to a worthy cause
Posted 16 years agoThe guys over at http://www.thespeedgamers.com/ are doing a Final Fantasy Marathon and are on day 3. They already raised over $15,000 for ACT Today, an organization that helps those who have Autism.
Check out the link and if you can spare a few or even $1, why not help them out? It's for a good cause.
Check out the link and if you can spare a few or even $1, why not help them out? It's for a good cause.
Animation Meme
Posted 16 years agoX what you saw
- O what you haven't finished/saw sizable portions
- Bold what you loved
- Italics for what you disliked/hated
- Leave unchanged if neutral
Classic Disney
[x] 101 Dalmatians (1961)
[x] Alice in Wonderland (1951)
[x] Bambi (1942)
[x] Cinderella (1950)
[x] Dumbo (1941)
[x] Fantasia (1940)
[x] Lady and the Tramp (1955)
[x] Mary Poppins (1964)
[x] Peter Pan (1953)
[x] Pinocchio (1940)
[x] Sleeping Beauty (1959)
[x] Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937)
[ ] Song of the South (1946)
Disney's Dark Age
[x] The Aristocats (1970)
[x] The Black Cauldron (1985)
[x] The Fox and the Hound (1981)
[x] The Great Mouse Detective (1986)
[x] The Jungle Book (1967)
[x] The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh (1977)
[x] Oliver and Company (1986)
[x] Pete's Dragon (1977)
[x] The Rescuers (1977)
[x] Robin Hood (1973)
[x] The Sword In The Stone (1963)
The Disney Renaissance
[x] Aladdin (1992)
[x] Beauty and the Beast (1991)
[x] A Goofy Movie (1995)
[x] Hercules (1997)
[x] The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1996)
[x] The Lion King (1994)
[x] The Little Mermaid (1989)
[x] Mulan (1998)
[x] Pocahontas (1995)
[x] The Rescuers Down Under (1990)
[x] Tarzan (1999)
Disney's Modern Age
[ ] Atlantis: The Lost Empire (2001) (equally huge body count)
[x ] Bolt (2008)
[ ] Brother Bear (2003)
[ ] Chicken Little (2005)
[ ] Dinosaur (2000)
[x] The Emperor's New Groove (2000)
[ ] Fantasia 2000 (2000)
[ ] Home on the Range (2004)
[x] Lilo & Stitch (2002)
[ ] Meet the Robinsons (2007)
[ ] Treasure Planet (2002)
[ ] The Wild
Pixar
[x] A Bug's Life (1998)
[x] Cars (2006)
[ ] Finding Nemo (2003)
[x] The Incredibles (2004)
[o] Monsters Inc. (2001)
[ ] Ratatouille (2007)
[x] Toy Story (1995)
[x] Toy Story 2 (1999)
[o] Wall-E (2008)
Don Bluth
[x] All Dogs Go to Heaven (1989)
[x] An American Tail (1986)
[x] Anastasia (1997)
[x] The Land Before Time (1988)
[x] The Pebble and the Penguin (1995)
[x] Rock-a-Doodle (1991)
[x] The Secret of NIMH (1982)
[x] Thumbelina (1994)
[x] Titan AE (2000)
[ ] A Troll in Central Park (1994)
Claymation
[x] The Adventures of Mark Twain (1986)
[x] Chicken Run (2000)
[ ] Corpse Bride (2005)
[x] James and the Giant Peach (1996)
[x] Nightmare Before Christmas, The (1993)
[ ] Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit (2005)
[ ] Flushed Away (2006)
[x] Coraline (2009)
CGI Glut
[x] Antz (1998)
[ ] Happy Feet (2006)
[x] Kung Fu Panda (2008)
[x] Madagascar (2005)
[ ] Monster House (2006)
[x] Over the Hedge (2006)
[x] Polar Express, The (2004)
[x] Robots
[x] Shrek (2001)
[x] Shrek 2 (2004)
[ ] Shrek The Third
Imports[/u]
[ ] Arabian Knight (aka The Thief and the Cobbler) (1995)
[x] The Last Unicorn (1982)
[ ] Light Years
[ ] The Plague Dogs
[ ] The Triplets of Belleville (2003)
[ ] Persepolis (2007)
[ ] Waltz With Bashir (2008)
[ ] Watership Down (1978)
[ ] When the Wind Blows (1988)
[ ] Yellow Submarine (1968)
Studio Ghibli/Miyazaki
[ ] Grave of the Fireflies
[o] Howl's Moving Castle (2004)
[x] Kiki's Delivery Service (1989)
[ ] Laputa: Castle in the Sky (1986)
[ ] Lupin III: The Castle of Cagliostro (1979)
[ ] My Neighbors The Yamadas
[ ] My Neighbor Totoro (1993)
[ ] Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind (1984) (favorite!)
[ ] Only Yesterday
[ ] Pom Poko (Tanuki War)
[ ] Porco Rosso (1992)
[ ] Princess Mononoke (1999)
[o] Spirited Away (2002)
[ ] The Cat Returns
[ ] Whisper of the Heart
Satoshi Kon
[ ] Millennium Actress (2001)
[ ] Paprika (2006)
[ ] Perfect Blue (1999)
[ ] Tokyo Godfathers (2003)
[ ] Memories - "Magnetic Rose" (1995)
Shinkai Makoto
[ ] She and Her Cat (1999)
[ ] Voices of a Distant Star (2001)
[ ] The Place Promised in Our Early Days (2004)
[ ] 5 Centimeters per Second (2007)
Other Anime Films
[ ] Adolescence of Utena
[ ] Akira (1989)
[ ] Appleseed (1988)
[ ] Appleseed
[ ] Appleseed: Ex Machina
[ ] Arcadia of My Youth (U.S. Title - Vengeance of the Space Pirate)
[ ] Black Magic Mario M-66
[ ] Cowboy Bebop: The Movie (2003)
[ ] Cutie Honey
[ ] The Dagger of Kamui (U.S. Title - Revenge of the Ninja Warrior)
[ ] Dirty Pair: Project Eden
[ ] End of Evangelion
[ ] Fist of the North Star
[ ] Galaxy Express
[o] Ghost in the Shell (1996)
[ ] The Girl Who Leapt Through Time
[ ] Lensman
[ ] Macross: Do You Remember Love (U.S. Title - Clash of the Bionoids)
[ ] Metal Skin Panic
[ ] Metropolis (2001)
[ ] Neo-Tokyo
[ ] Ninja Scroll
[ ] Patlabor the Movie
[ ] The Professional: Golgo 13
[ ] Project A-ko
[ ] Robotech: The Shadow Chronicle
[ ] Silent Mobius
[ ] Space Adventure Cobra
[ ] Steamboy (2004)
[ ] Sword of the Stranger
[ ] Unico and the Island of Magic
[ ] Urotsukidoji: The Movie
[ ] Vampire Hunter D
[ ] Vampire Hunter D:
[ ] Venus Wars
[ ] Wings of Honneamise: Royal Space Force
Cartoons For Grown-Ups
[ ] American Pop
[ ] The Animatrix (2003)
[o ] Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon The Movie
[x] Beavis & Butthead Do America (1996)
[x] Cool World
[x] Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within (2001)
[x] Final Fantasy: Advent Children
[ ] Fire & Ice
[ ] Fritz the Cat (1972)
[ ] Heavy Metal (1981)
[ ] Heavy Metal 2000 (2000)
[ ] Hey Good Looking
[ ] Lady Death
[ ] A Scanner Darkly (2006)
[x] South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut (1999)
[ ] Street Fight (AKA - Coonskin)
[ ] Waking Life (2001)
Other Animated Movies I Can't Categorize
[x] Animal Farm
[ ] Animalympics
[x] Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker
[x] Batman and the Mask of Phantasm
[x] The Brave Little Toaster (1988)
[ ] Bravestarr: The Movie
[x] Care Bears: The Movie
[x] Cats Dont' Dance
[x] Charlotte's Web (1973)
[x] Fern Gully
[x] G.I. Joe: The Movie
[ ] Gobots: Battle of the Rock Lords
[x] He-Man & She-Ra: The Secret of the Sword
[x] The Hobbit
[x] The Iron Giant (1999)
[ ] Justice League: The New Frontier
[x] Lord of the Rings
[x] Little Nemo: Adventures in Slumberland (1992)
[x] My Little Pony: The Movie
[ ] Pink Floyd's The Wall (1982)
[o] The Prince of Egypt (1998)
[ ] Powerpuff Girls: The Movie
[x] Quest For Camelot (1999)
[ ] Ringing Bell
[x] The Road to El Dorado (2000)
[ ] Rock & Rule
[x] Space Jam
[x] SPIRIT; Stallion of the Cimmaron
[x] Starchaser: The Legend of Orin
[x ] Superman: Doomsday
[x] The Swan Princess
[x] Transformers: The Movie (1986)
[x] Wizards
[x] Who Framed Roger Rabbit (1988)
[ ] Wonder Woman
- O what you haven't finished/saw sizable portions
- Bold what you loved
- Italics for what you disliked/hated
- Leave unchanged if neutral
Classic Disney
[x] 101 Dalmatians (1961)
[x] Alice in Wonderland (1951)
[x] Bambi (1942)
[x] Cinderella (1950)
[x] Dumbo (1941)
[x] Fantasia (1940)
[x] Lady and the Tramp (1955)
[x] Mary Poppins (1964)
[x] Peter Pan (1953)
[x] Pinocchio (1940)
[x] Sleeping Beauty (1959)
[x] Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937)
[ ] Song of the South (1946)
Disney's Dark Age
[x] The Aristocats (1970)
[x] The Black Cauldron (1985)
[x] The Fox and the Hound (1981)
[x] The Great Mouse Detective (1986)
[x] The Jungle Book (1967)
[x] The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh (1977)
[x] Oliver and Company (1986)
[x] Pete's Dragon (1977)
[x] The Rescuers (1977)
[x] Robin Hood (1973)
[x] The Sword In The Stone (1963)
The Disney Renaissance
[x] Aladdin (1992)
[x] Beauty and the Beast (1991)
[x] A Goofy Movie (1995)
[x] Hercules (1997)
[x] The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1996)
[x] The Lion King (1994)
[x] The Little Mermaid (1989)
[x] Mulan (1998)
[x] Pocahontas (1995)
[x] The Rescuers Down Under (1990)
[x] Tarzan (1999)
Disney's Modern Age
[ ] Atlantis: The Lost Empire (2001) (equally huge body count)
[x ] Bolt (2008)
[ ] Brother Bear (2003)
[ ] Chicken Little (2005)
[ ] Dinosaur (2000)
[x] The Emperor's New Groove (2000)
[ ] Fantasia 2000 (2000)
[ ] Home on the Range (2004)
[x] Lilo & Stitch (2002)
[ ] Meet the Robinsons (2007)
[ ] Treasure Planet (2002)
[ ] The Wild
Pixar
[x] A Bug's Life (1998)
[x] Cars (2006)
[ ] Finding Nemo (2003)
[x] The Incredibles (2004)
[o] Monsters Inc. (2001)
[ ] Ratatouille (2007)
[x] Toy Story (1995)
[x] Toy Story 2 (1999)
[o] Wall-E (2008)
Don Bluth
[x] All Dogs Go to Heaven (1989)
[x] An American Tail (1986)
[x] Anastasia (1997)
[x] The Land Before Time (1988)
[x] The Pebble and the Penguin (1995)
[x] Rock-a-Doodle (1991)
[x] The Secret of NIMH (1982)
[x] Thumbelina (1994)
[x] Titan AE (2000)
[ ] A Troll in Central Park (1994)
Claymation
[x] The Adventures of Mark Twain (1986)
[x] Chicken Run (2000)
[ ] Corpse Bride (2005)
[x] James and the Giant Peach (1996)
[x] Nightmare Before Christmas, The (1993)
[ ] Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit (2005)
[ ] Flushed Away (2006)
[x] Coraline (2009)
CGI Glut
[x] Antz (1998)
[ ] Happy Feet (2006)
[x] Kung Fu Panda (2008)
[x] Madagascar (2005)
[ ] Monster House (2006)
[x] Over the Hedge (2006)
[x] Polar Express, The (2004)
[x] Robots
[x] Shrek (2001)
[x] Shrek 2 (2004)
[ ] Shrek The Third
Imports[/u]
[ ] Arabian Knight (aka The Thief and the Cobbler) (1995)
[x] The Last Unicorn (1982)
[ ] Light Years
[ ] The Plague Dogs
[ ] The Triplets of Belleville (2003)
[ ] Persepolis (2007)
[ ] Waltz With Bashir (2008)
[ ] Watership Down (1978)
[ ] When the Wind Blows (1988)
[ ] Yellow Submarine (1968)
Studio Ghibli/Miyazaki
[ ] Grave of the Fireflies
[o] Howl's Moving Castle (2004)
[x] Kiki's Delivery Service (1989)
[ ] Laputa: Castle in the Sky (1986)
[ ] Lupin III: The Castle of Cagliostro (1979)
[ ] My Neighbors The Yamadas
[ ] My Neighbor Totoro (1993)
[ ] Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind (1984) (favorite!)
[ ] Only Yesterday
[ ] Pom Poko (Tanuki War)
[ ] Porco Rosso (1992)
[ ] Princess Mononoke (1999)
[o] Spirited Away (2002)
[ ] The Cat Returns
[ ] Whisper of the Heart
Satoshi Kon
[ ] Millennium Actress (2001)
[ ] Paprika (2006)
[ ] Perfect Blue (1999)
[ ] Tokyo Godfathers (2003)
[ ] Memories - "Magnetic Rose" (1995)
Shinkai Makoto
[ ] She and Her Cat (1999)
[ ] Voices of a Distant Star (2001)
[ ] The Place Promised in Our Early Days (2004)
[ ] 5 Centimeters per Second (2007)
Other Anime Films
[ ] Adolescence of Utena
[ ] Akira (1989)
[ ] Appleseed (1988)
[ ] Appleseed
[ ] Appleseed: Ex Machina
[ ] Arcadia of My Youth (U.S. Title - Vengeance of the Space Pirate)
[ ] Black Magic Mario M-66
[ ] Cowboy Bebop: The Movie (2003)
[ ] Cutie Honey
[ ] The Dagger of Kamui (U.S. Title - Revenge of the Ninja Warrior)
[ ] Dirty Pair: Project Eden
[ ] End of Evangelion
[ ] Fist of the North Star
[ ] Galaxy Express
[o] Ghost in the Shell (1996)
[ ] The Girl Who Leapt Through Time
[ ] Lensman
[ ] Macross: Do You Remember Love (U.S. Title - Clash of the Bionoids)
[ ] Metal Skin Panic
[ ] Metropolis (2001)
[ ] Neo-Tokyo
[ ] Ninja Scroll
[ ] Patlabor the Movie
[ ] The Professional: Golgo 13
[ ] Project A-ko
[ ] Robotech: The Shadow Chronicle
[ ] Silent Mobius
[ ] Space Adventure Cobra
[ ] Steamboy (2004)
[ ] Sword of the Stranger
[ ] Unico and the Island of Magic
[ ] Urotsukidoji: The Movie
[ ] Vampire Hunter D
[ ] Vampire Hunter D:
[ ] Venus Wars
[ ] Wings of Honneamise: Royal Space Force
Cartoons For Grown-Ups
[ ] American Pop
[ ] The Animatrix (2003)
[o ] Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon The Movie
[x] Beavis & Butthead Do America (1996)
[x] Cool World
[x] Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within (2001)
[x] Final Fantasy: Advent Children
[ ] Fire & Ice
[ ] Fritz the Cat (1972)
[ ] Heavy Metal (1981)
[ ] Heavy Metal 2000 (2000)
[ ] Hey Good Looking
[ ] Lady Death
[ ] A Scanner Darkly (2006)
[x] South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut (1999)
[ ] Street Fight (AKA - Coonskin)
[ ] Waking Life (2001)
Other Animated Movies I Can't Categorize
[x] Animal Farm
[ ] Animalympics
[x] Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker
[x] Batman and the Mask of Phantasm
[x] The Brave Little Toaster (1988)
[ ] Bravestarr: The Movie
[x] Care Bears: The Movie
[x] Cats Dont' Dance
[x] Charlotte's Web (1973)
[x] Fern Gully
[x] G.I. Joe: The Movie
[ ] Gobots: Battle of the Rock Lords
[x] He-Man & She-Ra: The Secret of the Sword
[x] The Hobbit
[x] The Iron Giant (1999)
[ ] Justice League: The New Frontier
[x] Lord of the Rings
[x] Little Nemo: Adventures in Slumberland (1992)
[x] My Little Pony: The Movie
[ ] Pink Floyd's The Wall (1982)
[o] The Prince of Egypt (1998)
[ ] Powerpuff Girls: The Movie
[x] Quest For Camelot (1999)
[ ] Ringing Bell
[x] The Road to El Dorado (2000)
[ ] Rock & Rule
[x] Space Jam
[x] SPIRIT; Stallion of the Cimmaron
[x] Starchaser: The Legend of Orin
[x ] Superman: Doomsday
[x] The Swan Princess
[x] Transformers: The Movie (1986)
[x] Wizards
[x] Who Framed Roger Rabbit (1988)
[ ] Wonder Woman
Innocent meme
Posted 16 years agoStolen from 
Amyth
Instructions:
Start with 100%. Bold everything you've done and subtract 1% for everything that you've done. Then repost as you're __% pure.
1. Smoked-
2. Drank alcohol
3. Cried when someone died Old pets
4. Been drunk
5. Had sex
6. Been to a concert
7. Gotten/given a hand job-
8. Gotten/given a blow job
9. Been verbally/sexually harassed
10.Verbally/sexually harassed somebody
PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 97%
11. Felt someone up and/or been felt up
12. Laughed so hard something came out of your nose.
13. Cheated on a boyfriend/girlfriend before.
14. Been cheated on by a boyfriend/girlfriend
15. Been to prom.
16. Cried at school
17. Gotten lost in a WalMart or a department store.
18. Went streaking
19. Given or received a lap dance.
20. Had someone of the opposite sex in your room
PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 96%
21. Had someone of the opposite sex sleep over
22. Slept over at someone of the opposite sex's house
23. Kissed a stranger
24. Hugged a stranger
25. Went scuba diving
26. Driven a car
27. Gotten an x-ray
28. Hit by a car Yep and it's not fun
29. Had a party
30. Done serious drugs
PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 90%
31. Played strip poker/darts/basketball
32. Got paid to strip for someone
33. Run away from home.
34. Broken a bone.
35. Eaten sushi
36. Bought porn
37. Watched porn
38. Made porn - drew some
39. Had a crush on someone of the same sex
40. Been in love
PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 86%
41. French kissed
42. Laughed so hard you cried
43. Cried yourself to sleep
44. Laughed yourself to sleep
45. Stabbed yourself accident, long story
46. Shot a gun
47. Trash talked someone and then acted like their best friend the next day
48. Been online for 9 consecutive hours.
49. Watched TV for 9 consecutive hours.
50. Watched an animal die.
PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 80%
51. Watched a person die
52. Kissed and/or messed around somewhere with at least 1 person present.
53. Pranked somebody.
54. Put somebody in the hospital
55. Snuck into someone's room and/or your own room after being out
56. Kissed somebody of the same sex
57. Dressed punk
58. Dressed goth
59. Dressed preppy
60. Been to a motocross race
PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 78%
61. Avoided somebody
62. Been stalked
63. Stalked someone
64. Met a celebrity.
65. Played an instrument. - trumpet
66. Ridden a horse
67. Cut yourself not on purpose
68. Bungee jumped.
69. Ding dong ditched somebody.
70. Been to a wild party.
PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 71%
71. Got caught stealing something. i was 4 and it was a pack of gum
72. Kicked/punched a guy in the balls.
73. Stolen a boyfriend/girlfriend from a friend.
74. Gone out with your friend's crush.
75. Got arrested.
76. Been pregnant. Not possible for me (I'm a guy)
77. Babysat. (can't stand kids)
78. Been to another country. does canada count?
79. Started your house on fire.
80. Had an encounter with a ghost.
PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 69%
81. Donated your hair to cancer patients.
82. Been asked out by someone that you never thought you'd be asked out by. - I wish
83. Cried over a family member of the opposite sex.
84. Had a boyfriend/girlfriend for 3 months or more.
85. Sat on your butt all day
86. Ate a whole carton of ice cream all by yourself
87. Had a job.
88. Gotten cut from a sports team. - Sports teams sucked, didn't bother trying out when it got to be too much egos involved, no fun in playing the sport anymore
89. Been called a whore.
90. Danced like a whore
PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 66%
91. Been mistaken for a celebrity.
92. Been in a car accident.
93. Been told you have beautiful eyes.
94. Been told you have beautiful hair.
95. Raped somebody.
96. Danced in the rain.
97. Been rejected. - bingo
98. Walked out of a restaurant without paying.
99. Punched someone/slapped someone in the face.
100. Been raped.
TOTAL PERCENTAGE: 62%
AmythInstructions:
Start with 100%. Bold everything you've done and subtract 1% for everything that you've done. Then repost as you're __% pure.
1. Smoked-
2. Drank alcohol
3. Cried when someone died Old pets
4. Been drunk
5. Had sex
6. Been to a concert
7. Gotten/given a hand job-
8. Gotten/given a blow job
9. Been verbally/sexually harassed
10.Verbally/sexually harassed somebody
PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 97%
11. Felt someone up and/or been felt up
12. Laughed so hard something came out of your nose.
13. Cheated on a boyfriend/girlfriend before.
14. Been cheated on by a boyfriend/girlfriend
15. Been to prom.
16. Cried at school
17. Gotten lost in a WalMart or a department store.
18. Went streaking
19. Given or received a lap dance.
20. Had someone of the opposite sex in your room
PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 96%
21. Had someone of the opposite sex sleep over
22. Slept over at someone of the opposite sex's house
23. Kissed a stranger
24. Hugged a stranger
25. Went scuba diving
26. Driven a car
27. Gotten an x-ray
28. Hit by a car Yep and it's not fun
29. Had a party
30. Done serious drugs
PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 90%
31. Played strip poker/darts/basketball
32. Got paid to strip for someone
33. Run away from home.
34. Broken a bone.
35. Eaten sushi
36. Bought porn
37. Watched porn
38. Made porn - drew some
39. Had a crush on someone of the same sex
40. Been in love
PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 86%
41. French kissed
42. Laughed so hard you cried
43. Cried yourself to sleep
44. Laughed yourself to sleep
45. Stabbed yourself accident, long story
46. Shot a gun
47. Trash talked someone and then acted like their best friend the next day
48. Been online for 9 consecutive hours.
49. Watched TV for 9 consecutive hours.
50. Watched an animal die.
PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 80%
51. Watched a person die
52. Kissed and/or messed around somewhere with at least 1 person present.
53. Pranked somebody.
54. Put somebody in the hospital
55. Snuck into someone's room and/or your own room after being out
56. Kissed somebody of the same sex
57. Dressed punk
58. Dressed goth
59. Dressed preppy
60. Been to a motocross race
PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 78%
61. Avoided somebody
62. Been stalked
63. Stalked someone
64. Met a celebrity.
65. Played an instrument. - trumpet
66. Ridden a horse
67. Cut yourself not on purpose
68. Bungee jumped.
69. Ding dong ditched somebody.
70. Been to a wild party.
PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 71%
71. Got caught stealing something. i was 4 and it was a pack of gum
72. Kicked/punched a guy in the balls.
73. Stolen a boyfriend/girlfriend from a friend.
74. Gone out with your friend's crush.
75. Got arrested.
76. Been pregnant. Not possible for me (I'm a guy)
77. Babysat. (can't stand kids)
78. Been to another country. does canada count?
79. Started your house on fire.
80. Had an encounter with a ghost.
PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 69%
81. Donated your hair to cancer patients.
82. Been asked out by someone that you never thought you'd be asked out by. - I wish
83. Cried over a family member of the opposite sex.
84. Had a boyfriend/girlfriend for 3 months or more.
85. Sat on your butt all day
86. Ate a whole carton of ice cream all by yourself
87. Had a job.
88. Gotten cut from a sports team. - Sports teams sucked, didn't bother trying out when it got to be too much egos involved, no fun in playing the sport anymore
89. Been called a whore.
90. Danced like a whore
PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 66%
91. Been mistaken for a celebrity.
92. Been in a car accident.
93. Been told you have beautiful eyes.
94. Been told you have beautiful hair.
95. Raped somebody.
96. Danced in the rain.
97. Been rejected. - bingo
98. Walked out of a restaurant without paying.
99. Punched someone/slapped someone in the face.
100. Been raped.
TOTAL PERCENTAGE: 62%
I'm not dead...
Posted 16 years agobut my muse has been for awhile. I've been busy trying to revive it, and it's not been an easy task. I haven't been in the mood completely to draw, just many sketches and such to try and bring the mood fully back.
Maybe something will come about here. I'm sick and do need to work on more stuff. I've been playing with roms to mod like super mario world. Also I've looked into ff7 again since it was rereleased on ps3 but my budget is pretty low right now. Going to be trying ebay more soon, hopefully something will sell big.
Maybe something will come about here. I'm sick and do need to work on more stuff. I've been playing with roms to mod like super mario world. Also I've looked into ff7 again since it was rereleased on ps3 but my budget is pretty low right now. Going to be trying ebay more soon, hopefully something will sell big.
Heh
Posted 16 years agoI guess I'm just back to square one on everything. The usual helping out and being unappreciated for it here. The arguments on things needed to be done, the whole lack of many things. It's hard to be alone here and really only to talk to is online from how far apart everyone is.
The one thing I tried not to be is a burden to anyone, but usually that's how I brush off on people. If that wasn't the case, maybe someone dear to me wouldn't be more in tune to say they hate me. Anyone I do chat with and someone in particular now, I just don't want to go that route with them either.
My dad got hurt earlier and might go to the er, if he does that might affect plenty more here on this end on really doing anything. I hate relying on people too much when I shouldn't or come off annoying when I am trying to impress them otherwise because of how much they mean to me. Hard to just communicate when someone you can only see them by text when they are so far away. With everything being done here, you just don't want to be in this place and would rather be there, and you miss that and them a lot.
Just another night to think until I can do more later.
The one thing I tried not to be is a burden to anyone, but usually that's how I brush off on people. If that wasn't the case, maybe someone dear to me wouldn't be more in tune to say they hate me. Anyone I do chat with and someone in particular now, I just don't want to go that route with them either.
My dad got hurt earlier and might go to the er, if he does that might affect plenty more here on this end on really doing anything. I hate relying on people too much when I shouldn't or come off annoying when I am trying to impress them otherwise because of how much they mean to me. Hard to just communicate when someone you can only see them by text when they are so far away. With everything being done here, you just don't want to be in this place and would rather be there, and you miss that and them a lot.
Just another night to think until I can do more later.
Baal Blaster
Posted 16 years agoI'm not dead, just been busy.
287 hours 40 minutes and 27 seconds...total time to finish the main and after story of disgaea 3. NIS is making them more fun and prolonging the playthroughs.
Time to take a break from this game and hopefully sketch out several things, it's been awhile for having a muse.
287 hours 40 minutes and 27 seconds...total time to finish the main and after story of disgaea 3. NIS is making them more fun and prolonging the playthroughs.
Time to take a break from this game and hopefully sketch out several things, it's been awhile for having a muse.
It's time to kick ass and fund my company....
Posted 16 years ago...And I'm all out of funds.
Today it was announced that 3d realms who if anyone doesn't recall made Duke Nukem is closing it's doors. I know out there that there is others who know who that is as far as gaming goes and it's a sad day with all the talk of Duke Nukem Forever being worked on for twelve years and never released.
I guess it shows in some ways in being too much of a perfectionist if that is true? It's sad for all of those that wanted to play this game (myself personally) due to seeing many of these games in the past and enjoying them.
Sources:
http://forums.3drealms.com/vb/showt.....ad.php?t=35533
http://www.shacknews.com/onearticle.x/58519
http://g4tv.com/thefeed/blog/post/6.....ting-Down.html
Thoughts?
Today it was announced that 3d realms who if anyone doesn't recall made Duke Nukem is closing it's doors. I know out there that there is others who know who that is as far as gaming goes and it's a sad day with all the talk of Duke Nukem Forever being worked on for twelve years and never released.
I guess it shows in some ways in being too much of a perfectionist if that is true? It's sad for all of those that wanted to play this game (myself personally) due to seeing many of these games in the past and enjoying them.
Sources:
http://forums.3drealms.com/vb/showt.....ad.php?t=35533
http://www.shacknews.com/onearticle.x/58519
http://g4tv.com/thefeed/blog/post/6.....ting-Down.html
Thoughts?
Other things
Posted 16 years agoAfter some talking and spending most of my day trying to clear my head. I'm probably more or less where I started. I only hope thoughts of how I may come across might be that the view doesn't change of the person that I am. It was mostly under the moment and a flooding of ideals and words.
To be there for others or not? It's always the question. Right now I don't have a definitive answer on it. It's complicated as it always is. I've lost friends when it hasn't been right. Things would go off tangent or they simply become less and less seen. I don't want to push people away from what I say or do. It's always a lot to think about and even putting the words here, there's always thousands more on the mind. I guess I try to show it in action too in the things I do, because most of all in whoever I care about, they are my friends first and I don't want them to disappear from my life. That hurts most of all. Each action has a consequence and there's one person in mind I hope they don't disappear from me.
When I said I love my friends, there's nothing I won't do for them because they do mean the world to me. So even when I say I love you, I do mean that. It takes love to care for anyone and friends is no different and no matter what.
But anything farther is the uncharted frontier. It's still a mystery. To have and hold someone as a significant other is far in between and always is. It's also something you can see in anyone at anytime, but at many it can be unrequited. So I guess this is where I sit on a fence day in and out. I don't make this my strive, but it is there if it ever happens, but again it's just another chapter in which way the wind blows the direction I go.
Anyway, enough words. It's raining, suits the mood. I'm going to try and draw again if I can, something needs to fill out these pages.
To be there for others or not? It's always the question. Right now I don't have a definitive answer on it. It's complicated as it always is. I've lost friends when it hasn't been right. Things would go off tangent or they simply become less and less seen. I don't want to push people away from what I say or do. It's always a lot to think about and even putting the words here, there's always thousands more on the mind. I guess I try to show it in action too in the things I do, because most of all in whoever I care about, they are my friends first and I don't want them to disappear from my life. That hurts most of all. Each action has a consequence and there's one person in mind I hope they don't disappear from me.
When I said I love my friends, there's nothing I won't do for them because they do mean the world to me. So even when I say I love you, I do mean that. It takes love to care for anyone and friends is no different and no matter what.
But anything farther is the uncharted frontier. It's still a mystery. To have and hold someone as a significant other is far in between and always is. It's also something you can see in anyone at anytime, but at many it can be unrequited. So I guess this is where I sit on a fence day in and out. I don't make this my strive, but it is there if it ever happens, but again it's just another chapter in which way the wind blows the direction I go.
Anyway, enough words. It's raining, suits the mood. I'm going to try and draw again if I can, something needs to fill out these pages.
A life synopsis, where's the silver lining?
Posted 16 years agoI love my friends, and for the most part, there's nothing I wouldn't do for them, or not do for them. It's what's kept me here. Without them I wouldn't be stronger each day and be able to share that strength through laughter and smiles with them when I can. Having friends, being friends is something all the more common to me as for the most part it is all I can have.
A relationship? Something that would bound people romantically? Never. For the longest time, practically all my life, I've been the supporting friend, only to watch people progress farther down the path with a special someone. At times, I could only watch as one I love would go off toward their happiness with someone else. That has been my life. I've been geared as many things. Recently I've been seen as a stalker and too soft. There's a reason for both and their own share of stories as to how something like that could arise.
Eccentially in the most brief I could make it, it's the risks you do and what actions you take everyday that govern how a chain of events unfolds. I've walked forty miles at one time and on several even taken trips to see those cared for by plane, to be able to see more of their world by leaving a piece of mine. Each time I had to make a sacrifice and like each time. It did end smoothly, we did have a great time. It was the after effects of when well things change in other areas that make it where just like being in the normal world, the other dwell on other people. Again, I can only watch this happen simply because for whatever reason, it's their choice in that they made and it's something I have to "understand" and just give them their space in such things.
Something like that could be understandable, but for the many times I've said I understand, no case has ever been different. So here I remain no matter what things I do or lengths I go. I'm only merited as friend material. This in many strides is why I can't share my much of my art on my pages and haven't done so in a long time.
My art attributes for my more inner most personal feelings and a place to submit them by the journal is nice, just to have something to look at or remember or do something that would be for someone special to me. All of my friends are and anyone else that is even more so than that.
The biggest fear I had and I hate to have was not posting things because of how others might judge it. I wasn't proven wrong just under two months ago from when I commissioned some art and drama ensued when it never should have. I'm an artist like anyone can be, the vision was only intended for good and not evil purposes, homages really.
That's all I try to do for friends and at times they give restrictions which are understood and can be followed, but I shouldn't censor myself and I shouldn't be treated as such like I have by people. Those that tell me not to look back, but in their own actions do so and dishonestly keep the information about it when they should have trust in me.
Trust is always a big thing. I trust them with much and in return it's never usually returned. That only makes whatever choice you made completely wrong if you cannot be honest with yourself and anyone you may care about. It's wrong to do that because once you do, you change things, dramatically. You hurt those you try not to and you leave them to try and understand what the god damn you were thinking in the first place. I'm tired of having that patience and being kind, caring and it gets walked over upon, especially by the opposite sex who for the most part have treated me like shit.
That's my risk. I'm not one to just fuck a girl and never call. The reason I waited so long wasn't because of the work or even if I couldn't get a girl but because I wanted something meaningful and that is my choice and heartache there when the times come like now. I accept that more each time and understand when things go like shit because I'm not acting like other guys should and just be less of the compassionate and do less like they should.
I don't want to change that, but why can't people see that shit in the first place? Women fawn over that shit for movies and stories, but when they see it happening it's like their deaf, dumb and stupid. It's like the cruelest joke from any creator in being with that person you do dream about and have had those wonderful times with, only for the reality to shatter on you at every step, you're just friend matterial because you won't treat them like shit.
I've only saw pain from that in seeing women hurt down that path and there's just more to things in how much more satisfying it would feel in just that being seen of what someone who doesn't go that path can do. I don't see people do the things I do and those are what people do for those they love. This time has forgotten about that. Their too selfish and only want what they want, and that's not what love is.
There's a reason someone won't visit you if it's been over one or two or even three years. It's because they are satisfied in their life and know for now this is the best it's going to get, they don't want to risk it but that's the only way for life to change or be better is risks.
There's also a reason why someone is your ex and that's because that time in your life passed and for whatever happened, you both grew in the opposite direction and that's where life seemed to better take you.
There's always a saying you can't go home again and that's true.
Most things should be left as they were as the memories you shared and had and the happiness you had. Even if it breaks your heart everytime you think of what could have been. You try not to show the scars and stand again, be yourself and embrace those you care for a bit more tighter only wishing they understood you more and what you need that you never have.
I've only been a half. Those that I've felt a strong connection to that I could feel whole with have rejected me. Those of which I dreamed would feel the same way about me. Some in particular I felt that connection with. How much we liked and could share. I could be myself, they could be theirself. Those that you are exes with or continue to live a fantasy with, they at least have experienced that in their life. It's something and the real thing I desire in this world. I don't need money, I don't need entertainment. I need that special someone who will always be there and can share how I feel with them always.
Obviously there's a hidden message here and it's for certain people who might trigger this about. Otherwise I could stop saying so much shit. I hate making so many paragraphs, but my mind is that ocean of words and I can't keep getting lost in the tides. I'm not complaining, I'm tired of understanding.
People are fucking selfish. They are blind to what's in front of them, but will make mistakes. Will persue some god awful shit and stupid mother fuckers and then I'll be the one that has to say I understand. I mean nothing more than just to be a yes man or a support group. Fuck that.
That's fine. I actually am writing this very calmly but can put emphasis in what is the truth. that's the power of emotions in how you connect with your words and drawings. Passion.
No I'm not whining of what I can't have, I'm stating life in how I'm not alone. This happens everyday where people make decisions like this, make choices, piss people off, upset them without knowing it because communication is sometimes like getting dial up when it should be cable. It's an ongoing cycle. I've been ignored and anything else you can think of because I have my heart on a sleeve. People wonder why don't I have someone? Simple, there's no chance. Those I connect with get what they want always. If these people understand my side and don't say to fuck off which they might, then they need to look at themselves too and see exactly if what they are doing is right.
People want to be treated like adults but they never really grow up. The internet is proof of that. How many times is it the same bullshit of people screwing another over, crying over some stupid art shit (this place in particular) over characters they don't have copyrights for, yet they cry when people do their characters? This site is a fansite, some people make money, some people have other methods in what they do. Relationships are generally the same and in this sad community goes hand in glove because it's juristiction is by how many pixels you can wow people with. Let alone, most don't know how to work a real fucking job.
There's some that break this curve, but I for one am tired of seeing immature fucks everywhere I go. Assholes breed assholes and dumbasses are born every minute.
I know this feels like a rant and I'm preaching to the choir, but I'm changing fucking shit. People here whine on ways to "change" but I guess I'll do it my own way.
First of all art: I will post what inspires me and ask permission when necessary but if it gets removed there better be a full fucking list why it did, because if not, it'll take me a very short fucking time to go to my lawyer and shut this bitch down. I do know my rights and I am entitled not to be censored by anyone like anyone else here. (Especially when it's not harmful. One person can whine and bitch but they should fucking grow up.)
Secondly. This one is a mixed bag. Because it falls under how I feel about friends and what I said. It's very hard to determine, because from what I was told from the situation in reverse I would go to the curb. Yet here it's the same but it's them in the crosshairs. Should I do it thusly and go forth? That's wjhere I stand and that's on a case by case basis. I don't like turning people away and it's not being soft for doing so, it's being humble and showing compassion.
I'll be pissed and numb later, I don't drink but this would put me there, but you know what? I've been through this shit so much it's not as much surprising as it would be, that's the sad part. Show me someone a diamond in the rough who won't make mistakes but then again that person wouldn't be a person at all or human.
A relationship? Something that would bound people romantically? Never. For the longest time, practically all my life, I've been the supporting friend, only to watch people progress farther down the path with a special someone. At times, I could only watch as one I love would go off toward their happiness with someone else. That has been my life. I've been geared as many things. Recently I've been seen as a stalker and too soft. There's a reason for both and their own share of stories as to how something like that could arise.
Eccentially in the most brief I could make it, it's the risks you do and what actions you take everyday that govern how a chain of events unfolds. I've walked forty miles at one time and on several even taken trips to see those cared for by plane, to be able to see more of their world by leaving a piece of mine. Each time I had to make a sacrifice and like each time. It did end smoothly, we did have a great time. It was the after effects of when well things change in other areas that make it where just like being in the normal world, the other dwell on other people. Again, I can only watch this happen simply because for whatever reason, it's their choice in that they made and it's something I have to "understand" and just give them their space in such things.
Something like that could be understandable, but for the many times I've said I understand, no case has ever been different. So here I remain no matter what things I do or lengths I go. I'm only merited as friend material. This in many strides is why I can't share my much of my art on my pages and haven't done so in a long time.
My art attributes for my more inner most personal feelings and a place to submit them by the journal is nice, just to have something to look at or remember or do something that would be for someone special to me. All of my friends are and anyone else that is even more so than that.
The biggest fear I had and I hate to have was not posting things because of how others might judge it. I wasn't proven wrong just under two months ago from when I commissioned some art and drama ensued when it never should have. I'm an artist like anyone can be, the vision was only intended for good and not evil purposes, homages really.
That's all I try to do for friends and at times they give restrictions which are understood and can be followed, but I shouldn't censor myself and I shouldn't be treated as such like I have by people. Those that tell me not to look back, but in their own actions do so and dishonestly keep the information about it when they should have trust in me.
Trust is always a big thing. I trust them with much and in return it's never usually returned. That only makes whatever choice you made completely wrong if you cannot be honest with yourself and anyone you may care about. It's wrong to do that because once you do, you change things, dramatically. You hurt those you try not to and you leave them to try and understand what the god damn you were thinking in the first place. I'm tired of having that patience and being kind, caring and it gets walked over upon, especially by the opposite sex who for the most part have treated me like shit.
That's my risk. I'm not one to just fuck a girl and never call. The reason I waited so long wasn't because of the work or even if I couldn't get a girl but because I wanted something meaningful and that is my choice and heartache there when the times come like now. I accept that more each time and understand when things go like shit because I'm not acting like other guys should and just be less of the compassionate and do less like they should.
I don't want to change that, but why can't people see that shit in the first place? Women fawn over that shit for movies and stories, but when they see it happening it's like their deaf, dumb and stupid. It's like the cruelest joke from any creator in being with that person you do dream about and have had those wonderful times with, only for the reality to shatter on you at every step, you're just friend matterial because you won't treat them like shit.
I've only saw pain from that in seeing women hurt down that path and there's just more to things in how much more satisfying it would feel in just that being seen of what someone who doesn't go that path can do. I don't see people do the things I do and those are what people do for those they love. This time has forgotten about that. Their too selfish and only want what they want, and that's not what love is.
There's a reason someone won't visit you if it's been over one or two or even three years. It's because they are satisfied in their life and know for now this is the best it's going to get, they don't want to risk it but that's the only way for life to change or be better is risks.
There's also a reason why someone is your ex and that's because that time in your life passed and for whatever happened, you both grew in the opposite direction and that's where life seemed to better take you.
There's always a saying you can't go home again and that's true.
Most things should be left as they were as the memories you shared and had and the happiness you had. Even if it breaks your heart everytime you think of what could have been. You try not to show the scars and stand again, be yourself and embrace those you care for a bit more tighter only wishing they understood you more and what you need that you never have.
I've only been a half. Those that I've felt a strong connection to that I could feel whole with have rejected me. Those of which I dreamed would feel the same way about me. Some in particular I felt that connection with. How much we liked and could share. I could be myself, they could be theirself. Those that you are exes with or continue to live a fantasy with, they at least have experienced that in their life. It's something and the real thing I desire in this world. I don't need money, I don't need entertainment. I need that special someone who will always be there and can share how I feel with them always.
Obviously there's a hidden message here and it's for certain people who might trigger this about. Otherwise I could stop saying so much shit. I hate making so many paragraphs, but my mind is that ocean of words and I can't keep getting lost in the tides. I'm not complaining, I'm tired of understanding.
People are fucking selfish. They are blind to what's in front of them, but will make mistakes. Will persue some god awful shit and stupid mother fuckers and then I'll be the one that has to say I understand. I mean nothing more than just to be a yes man or a support group. Fuck that.
That's fine. I actually am writing this very calmly but can put emphasis in what is the truth. that's the power of emotions in how you connect with your words and drawings. Passion.
No I'm not whining of what I can't have, I'm stating life in how I'm not alone. This happens everyday where people make decisions like this, make choices, piss people off, upset them without knowing it because communication is sometimes like getting dial up when it should be cable. It's an ongoing cycle. I've been ignored and anything else you can think of because I have my heart on a sleeve. People wonder why don't I have someone? Simple, there's no chance. Those I connect with get what they want always. If these people understand my side and don't say to fuck off which they might, then they need to look at themselves too and see exactly if what they are doing is right.
People want to be treated like adults but they never really grow up. The internet is proof of that. How many times is it the same bullshit of people screwing another over, crying over some stupid art shit (this place in particular) over characters they don't have copyrights for, yet they cry when people do their characters? This site is a fansite, some people make money, some people have other methods in what they do. Relationships are generally the same and in this sad community goes hand in glove because it's juristiction is by how many pixels you can wow people with. Let alone, most don't know how to work a real fucking job.
There's some that break this curve, but I for one am tired of seeing immature fucks everywhere I go. Assholes breed assholes and dumbasses are born every minute.
I know this feels like a rant and I'm preaching to the choir, but I'm changing fucking shit. People here whine on ways to "change" but I guess I'll do it my own way.
First of all art: I will post what inspires me and ask permission when necessary but if it gets removed there better be a full fucking list why it did, because if not, it'll take me a very short fucking time to go to my lawyer and shut this bitch down. I do know my rights and I am entitled not to be censored by anyone like anyone else here. (Especially when it's not harmful. One person can whine and bitch but they should fucking grow up.)
Secondly. This one is a mixed bag. Because it falls under how I feel about friends and what I said. It's very hard to determine, because from what I was told from the situation in reverse I would go to the curb. Yet here it's the same but it's them in the crosshairs. Should I do it thusly and go forth? That's wjhere I stand and that's on a case by case basis. I don't like turning people away and it's not being soft for doing so, it's being humble and showing compassion.
I'll be pissed and numb later, I don't drink but this would put me there, but you know what? I've been through this shit so much it's not as much surprising as it would be, that's the sad part. Show me someone a diamond in the rough who won't make mistakes but then again that person wouldn't be a person at all or human.
Bleh
Posted 16 years agoJust more on my mind while taking a breather from drawing. I updated stuff elsewhere first and filled out some of my time away with Disgaea 3. That game itself is insanity with the leveling system, to which I took a break from.
Drawing though I am making some progress. It's a bit slow because I'm using some different programs and would like some better results. I might shoot to roll out one or a couple at a time. It all depends on the drive.
Drawing though I am making some progress. It's a bit slow because I'm using some different programs and would like some better results. I might shoot to roll out one or a couple at a time. It all depends on the drive.
Updates, etc
Posted 16 years agoBeen looking for a job and working on other things. I guess everything up to this point has drawn more onto me in watching others press onward themselves. As much as it is wonderful to see it, you can say the feelings of being left behind in certain areas when you care on people is never light.
So with a heavier heart I'll just start posting my art as I finish them. Like I said before but I will focus more solely on that as I should. If they last up here unlike the others in their wrongful removal, well that's how things have to be. (I'll just make a personal collection for viewing off this site)
I've been doing much thinking as I always have and I have too much building up again on the inside. This is all just a smaller rant or where I can put something to clear my head.
Hope all your easters have gone well, things should be normal tomorrow...
So with a heavier heart I'll just start posting my art as I finish them. Like I said before but I will focus more solely on that as I should. If they last up here unlike the others in their wrongful removal, well that's how things have to be. (I'll just make a personal collection for viewing off this site)
I've been doing much thinking as I always have and I have too much building up again on the inside. This is all just a smaller rant or where I can put something to clear my head.
Hope all your easters have gone well, things should be normal tomorrow...
Times be a changing as we draw ever so farther ahead....
Posted 16 years agoWell after three + months, I'm finishing up my time in Texas. If all goes well on monday, I'll be on my next flight to a new destination. All in all it has been an experience to remember as to what has happened during all of it.
Another side of good news is I'm nearing the 1k mark as to which I thank all of those for watching me and sharing anything from feedback to supporting words at times. If you happen to catch it, send a screenshot over to tigershadowclaw[at]yahoo.com maybe something nice will be in it for you.
I have to say more of my own artwork will return sometime in about a week. Instead of just commissions and stories, I'll be uploading much again after I get my scanner back in tune since I have not had it here, or I may also get a tablet which I desperately need,
So if I don't see you for a week, stay safe and make it a great one.
Another side of good news is I'm nearing the 1k mark as to which I thank all of those for watching me and sharing anything from feedback to supporting words at times. If you happen to catch it, send a screenshot over to tigershadowclaw[at]yahoo.com maybe something nice will be in it for you.
I have to say more of my own artwork will return sometime in about a week. Instead of just commissions and stories, I'll be uploading much again after I get my scanner back in tune since I have not had it here, or I may also get a tablet which I desperately need,
So if I don't see you for a week, stay safe and make it a great one.
Happy Birthday and such...
Posted 16 years agoSo that's that...
Last chapter is uploaded and your thoughts and responses on any of it if welcome. If you read it however and come off with a bad taste in your mouth, reread it. If you got grossly entertained by the amount of erotic images, then I'm glad you found something interesting.
Open your heart...it's a concept that not too many do in their lives. It's why when you try to see about nice people, they are very seldom in this world today. It's been cast into that type of darkness that welcomes and rewards selfishness so that anything against that wave is seen as abnormal. Well let me tell you is that's not the type of normal I am. With how times are going, you need more that are willing to go the extra mile and that is something all should strive to do - even if you get no thanks or to an extent can become hated for your actions. The thing is to try, it's the only way for things to be better. Sitting around doesn't get you anywhere in life, action does, remember that.
In other news it's my birthday and I'll be spending it working in several hours. So for the next twelve after that, my job will be making sure people keep their houses, as that is what I have done since late december in getting a job out here. I get paid to work at a bank, but I also make sure that those get the money they need, and I try my damnest to make sure they do.
Have a great day to one and all and I hope you all stay safe for any that do share the same week of birthdays or even day as I do. Take care.
Last chapter is uploaded and your thoughts and responses on any of it if welcome. If you read it however and come off with a bad taste in your mouth, reread it. If you got grossly entertained by the amount of erotic images, then I'm glad you found something interesting.
Open your heart...it's a concept that not too many do in their lives. It's why when you try to see about nice people, they are very seldom in this world today. It's been cast into that type of darkness that welcomes and rewards selfishness so that anything against that wave is seen as abnormal. Well let me tell you is that's not the type of normal I am. With how times are going, you need more that are willing to go the extra mile and that is something all should strive to do - even if you get no thanks or to an extent can become hated for your actions. The thing is to try, it's the only way for things to be better. Sitting around doesn't get you anywhere in life, action does, remember that.
In other news it's my birthday and I'll be spending it working in several hours. So for the next twelve after that, my job will be making sure people keep their houses, as that is what I have done since late december in getting a job out here. I get paid to work at a bank, but I also make sure that those get the money they need, and I try my damnest to make sure they do.
Have a great day to one and all and I hope you all stay safe for any that do share the same week of birthdays or even day as I do. Take care.
Uploading and modding
Posted 16 years agoSecond chapter is up and it's already noon. If you haven't remembered to set your clock ahead a hour, best to do so now.
In other news I'm working on a Super Mario World rom hack and it's kept me busy in between thoughts of writing and other stuff. Importing ExGraphics is a pain.
I also fixed the chapters of the story so they could be read in text format, I don't see how come FA can't read actual punctation from Microsoft Word.
In other news I'm working on a Super Mario World rom hack and it's kept me busy in between thoughts of writing and other stuff. Importing ExGraphics is a pain.
I also fixed the chapters of the story so they could be read in text format, I don't see how come FA can't read actual punctation from Microsoft Word.
Storytime again
Posted 16 years agoAn update and well I'm still about. More occupied with work but here obviously. I do have a treat for those that watched.
A special little story. You can see the first chapter right now if you'd like. I'm currently layering out chapter three so expect two to come out shortly after this. All in all it's been comforting to work on something for good practice again since I haven't had much inspiration to write so it's good to get in some practice. In the meantime, have fun reading and share your thoughts.
A special little story. You can see the first chapter right now if you'd like. I'm currently layering out chapter three so expect two to come out shortly after this. All in all it's been comforting to work on something for good practice again since I haven't had much inspiration to write so it's good to get in some practice. In the meantime, have fun reading and share your thoughts.
That long and winding road, to newer pastures and beginnings
Posted 16 years agoI'm a furcadia man at heart. What I did for rps, poems and anything of that nature was due to fun and being able to share that with those that I do care for.
It makes no difference in the walk of life who I came across and how like anyone else. To each our own and to that stride our pace.
One day we are loved and the next we are hated, over what we do that can be seen as relevant or not.
What's a shame is when things in the smallest detail can't be understood with anything good to come across when that was their only intent ever.
I thank those that have watched me, even if you just started to and I am very thankful for the friends I have made here and to the extent who I know and well got to watch everything and chatter with all of those I could. I'm unsure what the future holds as to how things may go this moment, they could have me in another place. I just have to stand up for an idea and one at that is that of what I express. Because if I can't do this here, then why bother be apart of this community? I shouldn't be censored when the intentions are pure and true, no matter if there might be those that disagree. It's my page and it's my thoughts, my projects and anything else I put together even at times if it is not by my hands.
I support artists, at every twist and turn I am thankful for all their hard work and their dedication to what makes a community strong. The only thing I am saddened to say is when maturity is lacking and those feel otherwise to not let go.
I have moved on. Even with the pain in my heart and to which each step is harder than the last, I keep moving forward, but to do so I still owe one more task and that is what I had set out to do in the first place.
I've been asked why keep pushing myself even if I am not being favored, or hated as the case can be as well. Because I've always had a strong will and the harder something is to get knocked down, you have to keep getting up and striving for something, even if it might be an impossible dream. There's no one to say it's wrong to carry it and however we do so. We are who we are and that is what makes us unique.
That being said, I have to reupload things that were taken off, and in all interest as controversal as they might seem, compared to what else is floating around furaffinity is nothing but less than that. A tribute, a dedication to those that I care for that might not feel the same today.
I was already told that I might not be the bigger man in all of this and the fact is I already am. I've been so in everything and to that much in understanding, I only yield the point that despite things that are terrible, there is much to be said about someone that you will always care for and I hope someday they will understand that and everything I have done.
It makes no difference in the walk of life who I came across and how like anyone else. To each our own and to that stride our pace.
One day we are loved and the next we are hated, over what we do that can be seen as relevant or not.
What's a shame is when things in the smallest detail can't be understood with anything good to come across when that was their only intent ever.
I thank those that have watched me, even if you just started to and I am very thankful for the friends I have made here and to the extent who I know and well got to watch everything and chatter with all of those I could. I'm unsure what the future holds as to how things may go this moment, they could have me in another place. I just have to stand up for an idea and one at that is that of what I express. Because if I can't do this here, then why bother be apart of this community? I shouldn't be censored when the intentions are pure and true, no matter if there might be those that disagree. It's my page and it's my thoughts, my projects and anything else I put together even at times if it is not by my hands.
I support artists, at every twist and turn I am thankful for all their hard work and their dedication to what makes a community strong. The only thing I am saddened to say is when maturity is lacking and those feel otherwise to not let go.
I have moved on. Even with the pain in my heart and to which each step is harder than the last, I keep moving forward, but to do so I still owe one more task and that is what I had set out to do in the first place.
I've been asked why keep pushing myself even if I am not being favored, or hated as the case can be as well. Because I've always had a strong will and the harder something is to get knocked down, you have to keep getting up and striving for something, even if it might be an impossible dream. There's no one to say it's wrong to carry it and however we do so. We are who we are and that is what makes us unique.
That being said, I have to reupload things that were taken off, and in all interest as controversal as they might seem, compared to what else is floating around furaffinity is nothing but less than that. A tribute, a dedication to those that I care for that might not feel the same today.
I was already told that I might not be the bigger man in all of this and the fact is I already am. I've been so in everything and to that much in understanding, I only yield the point that despite things that are terrible, there is much to be said about someone that you will always care for and I hope someday they will understand that and everything I have done.
Small discussion and any left over apologies
Posted 16 years agoA smaller discussion on the issue.
The reason the last post was so long was to clear the air and I wanted to be honest with anything I did. It is a right in that manner to keep that bridge of communications with anyone to be trusting. So that leaves it up to themselves as artists if they want to do buisness with me in the future. It also leaves any friends if they wish to keep speaking to me in the same manner.
One of my biggest fears of posting any art even by my hand is if it would be appreciated at all at any time when I put it up. I have been on here for two or so years and you can say that hindered me to draw at times over what could possibly happen.
It's another reason I stuck to what I knew in gifts for anyone, even one person in particular, you do what you know. I'm a writer at heart and dabble in drawing on occation.
My intentions are never to hurt the intended subject of the art and in many cases is more of dedication to whichever individuals involved. I'm not a pervert. I don't do yiff images all the time or think of getting them done. I've always loved stories better.
I removed any images of mine from the past that fit otherwise into that if someone would be offended by seeing them on my page.
The only thing I fear now is if I try to make more art will it be taken the same reception or if I try to get a commission piece from someone an artist, will they hesitate if they feel drama will be attached? Or if I have a piece commissioned at one point or draw something, will I have to again remove it later because of someone's disagreement further in time?
I'd rather not lose any trust and such with any artist or anyone I do get commissions from because they don't deserve that in any way. I support artists here fully in this is how they at times try to make their income. It's just a bonus that they take time from their days to work on whatever you give them. I'm very thankful for that. I don't want to shatter any bonds or drag their names through the mud on my behalf. Professionally it's embarassing and humiliating on all parties when that is never the intent.
This is one of the things that hurts most is when the time and effort these individuals put into things that are beautiful on result, they can never see the light of day and for the artists that's a terrible thing.
I do understand the sacredness of anyone's character, again which is why I always had second doubts on posting any art here. Or even so long it took to finally have some courage to do get commissions done. Even with so much red tape, I never wanted anything bad to come out of it. I also don't want it to reflect badly on anyone in their first time in getting commissions done.
The timeline thing in a much bigger perspective was not just going to be commissioned art, but of my hand too. I can write and I do draw, but explainations are never a strong suit to me. I wanted to detail the highlights of the past three years and not just of myself but those I've been around. Nothing short of tribute and to celebrate successes and maybe any failures along the way. No one would have been used negatively. The commissioned pieces were to fall into more special scenes and highlight and show more of importance and well show that extra mile of effort to who was involved. I was going to add my own poetry and showcase them in a specific order as if to tell a story. My way to showcase those that are important to me that I know and it was for the world here to get a better visual of that. If this ever gets done, I'll be much wiser on this.
I'll have more artists get information if they feel they need it.
If they can't do a particular piece they are always free to tell me so, that never changes.
If it seems questionable in the material, they can contact parties involved for their characters if they must.
Only something more questionable will fall on my shoulders, never someone else's, that won't happen again.
On another note I have read to an extent where this has been talked about and on a few things I do have to reply.
We all make mistakes and we all try to learn from them the best we can. It shouldn't matter where and how we meet someone, the fact is they have an impact on our lives. They could be that person you see on the bus everyday, or someone and somehow you bump pathes with on the way to work or out of nowhere. That same thing holds true. Taken how the internet has changed much of society, things adapt and shape themselves accordingly even to this. This culture here thrives on that in order to survive.
We all do different things that might seem crazy at times but have the same good intentions of those that we could see everyday. If it can somehow shape something better even from it's presentation it should be more welcome than feared. Again everything is a learning experience, there is much I would do differently but you have to take that step and walk in someone else's shoes before passing judgement on anyone. We're all that person who works at the fast food restaurant, or the one that was late to that meeting or forgot that birthday gift. How often do we find creativeness and ingenuity in order to set things right? In the right ways, that gift we try to show those we care or have obligations to are what makes the future brighter. That's why we have transportation and more modern conveniences like this and medicine. It's the overall well being of someone else is what brings them out, thinking other than yourself.
In a world driven more on negativity, it's only reasonable to always assume the worst on what a person might do and do next. In many cases now we see a darker future with the inability to work, have enough food or getting through each day. Who is there to say that an act of kindness and compassion to another is wrong? This is all I have tried to do for someone and anyone I come across. It's not normal to think of another but it shouldn't be rare to aid someone or share or go out of your way for someone no matter how much or little they hold for you. If more people got of their chairs and instead of complaining as they tend to do these days and criticize others in their actions, and really submerge themselves back to reality. They need to learn not to make this here their utopia but where they go after they leave the online world because that's what truely matters.
The reason the last post was so long was to clear the air and I wanted to be honest with anything I did. It is a right in that manner to keep that bridge of communications with anyone to be trusting. So that leaves it up to themselves as artists if they want to do buisness with me in the future. It also leaves any friends if they wish to keep speaking to me in the same manner.
One of my biggest fears of posting any art even by my hand is if it would be appreciated at all at any time when I put it up. I have been on here for two or so years and you can say that hindered me to draw at times over what could possibly happen.
It's another reason I stuck to what I knew in gifts for anyone, even one person in particular, you do what you know. I'm a writer at heart and dabble in drawing on occation.
My intentions are never to hurt the intended subject of the art and in many cases is more of dedication to whichever individuals involved. I'm not a pervert. I don't do yiff images all the time or think of getting them done. I've always loved stories better.
I removed any images of mine from the past that fit otherwise into that if someone would be offended by seeing them on my page.
The only thing I fear now is if I try to make more art will it be taken the same reception or if I try to get a commission piece from someone an artist, will they hesitate if they feel drama will be attached? Or if I have a piece commissioned at one point or draw something, will I have to again remove it later because of someone's disagreement further in time?
I'd rather not lose any trust and such with any artist or anyone I do get commissions from because they don't deserve that in any way. I support artists here fully in this is how they at times try to make their income. It's just a bonus that they take time from their days to work on whatever you give them. I'm very thankful for that. I don't want to shatter any bonds or drag their names through the mud on my behalf. Professionally it's embarassing and humiliating on all parties when that is never the intent.
This is one of the things that hurts most is when the time and effort these individuals put into things that are beautiful on result, they can never see the light of day and for the artists that's a terrible thing.
I do understand the sacredness of anyone's character, again which is why I always had second doubts on posting any art here. Or even so long it took to finally have some courage to do get commissions done. Even with so much red tape, I never wanted anything bad to come out of it. I also don't want it to reflect badly on anyone in their first time in getting commissions done.
The timeline thing in a much bigger perspective was not just going to be commissioned art, but of my hand too. I can write and I do draw, but explainations are never a strong suit to me. I wanted to detail the highlights of the past three years and not just of myself but those I've been around. Nothing short of tribute and to celebrate successes and maybe any failures along the way. No one would have been used negatively. The commissioned pieces were to fall into more special scenes and highlight and show more of importance and well show that extra mile of effort to who was involved. I was going to add my own poetry and showcase them in a specific order as if to tell a story. My way to showcase those that are important to me that I know and it was for the world here to get a better visual of that. If this ever gets done, I'll be much wiser on this.
I'll have more artists get information if they feel they need it.
If they can't do a particular piece they are always free to tell me so, that never changes.
If it seems questionable in the material, they can contact parties involved for their characters if they must.
Only something more questionable will fall on my shoulders, never someone else's, that won't happen again.
On another note I have read to an extent where this has been talked about and on a few things I do have to reply.
We all make mistakes and we all try to learn from them the best we can. It shouldn't matter where and how we meet someone, the fact is they have an impact on our lives. They could be that person you see on the bus everyday, or someone and somehow you bump pathes with on the way to work or out of nowhere. That same thing holds true. Taken how the internet has changed much of society, things adapt and shape themselves accordingly even to this. This culture here thrives on that in order to survive.
We all do different things that might seem crazy at times but have the same good intentions of those that we could see everyday. If it can somehow shape something better even from it's presentation it should be more welcome than feared. Again everything is a learning experience, there is much I would do differently but you have to take that step and walk in someone else's shoes before passing judgement on anyone. We're all that person who works at the fast food restaurant, or the one that was late to that meeting or forgot that birthday gift. How often do we find creativeness and ingenuity in order to set things right? In the right ways, that gift we try to show those we care or have obligations to are what makes the future brighter. That's why we have transportation and more modern conveniences like this and medicine. It's the overall well being of someone else is what brings them out, thinking other than yourself.
In a world driven more on negativity, it's only reasonable to always assume the worst on what a person might do and do next. In many cases now we see a darker future with the inability to work, have enough food or getting through each day. Who is there to say that an act of kindness and compassion to another is wrong? This is all I have tried to do for someone and anyone I come across. It's not normal to think of another but it shouldn't be rare to aid someone or share or go out of your way for someone no matter how much or little they hold for you. If more people got of their chairs and instead of complaining as they tend to do these days and criticize others in their actions, and really submerge themselves back to reality. They need to learn not to make this here their utopia but where they go after they leave the online world because that's what truely matters.
Reflections and Q and A
Posted 16 years agoAs of the hour it's 4am and to some extent it's not a good night. First of all I have to apologize to 
Faint and 
Arctic-Sekai if any drama came their way to this. (I know it did to his from what I woke up to.)
T, you never have much art on your pages, why the sudden increase?
When I first started on fa, I had to work overnights at a store so I never had time to upload, what I did have and worked on around that time, much of it was destroyed by family accidentily. This was something I wanted to show more and the fact was I couldn't, and the fact of my hours only made it impossible to really do much. Until I got this job here, with the extra income I started to pay out commissions to get things back at pace.
Are you stupid, or you really tried to creep or piss people off? That was never my intention as hard as I tried there which seems is a thing I do a lot these days but don't get too far with it. There have been many friends and loved ones I lost, simply for one reason or another when I couldn't figure out things as to how they could slip that badly. My overall intent was not to piss people off for the holiday but quite the opposite. Everything I did and have done had a reason for and it might not even be the first that comes to mind, but always the negative ones seem to topple and rear their heads first.
Flashback nearly three years ago, I was in the roughest of times. What you could call a girlfriend stopped seeing me, but then again I only saw them online so what was there much to call from it? Nothing there and so that part of my life phased off and I met knew people. One in particular was
bluefiredragonz you can say that changed many things over the course of time. I met many others because of her and to me, they were all dear friends, so even when drama hit the fan, I tried to stand by them at each of those times. Often though, my time was spent with her and it was nice. I had a close friend who I could be myself with and I could really talk to and have a great time with even for that time we could only talk online.
A year passed we even started exchanging gifts, I sent mostly to her because she was special to me and you always try harder there for someone like that. Everything was fine then and then came a time we saw each other in person. I admit it was ackward and at times we weren't able to have a good time. She spent part of it on the phone with another guy, so that did eat at me and I was depressed for part of it. It was hard to get over from going that far for the most part in seeing someone because they are a close friend and you just wanted to hang out and share real time with them that work and other things always hindered. Before I left though, she gave me one of the gifts I sorely needed, and that was art supplies. It was far better than what I had been using and I could really make some great work from it, as long as I had the time to do it.
Several months pass and my overnight job and overall home life made things more stressful due to having to help take care of my dad's side of the family due to the fact of my parents being divorced, so at times things wouldn't always go alright. We would argue but things tended to be ok afterward. That is when her birthday came into question and I remembered the fun she had playing on my wii when I was there. (One of the reasons I waited at launch for it was I was hoping someday I could actually share that with her because we both were gamers and liked the same games. I could get into more of that with her.) So I waited an extra two hours when the store would open and got her one with brawl so there would be something we could do from how far apart we were, we could keep in touch still and since Teske also got it, there would be even more friends to play with.
Time passes again and with work and how busy on both sides get, there is not much use as far as spending that time whatsoever for that so it just becomes something as a hopeful one if it will ever come up. So down by july things just get rougher. I remember watching the dark knight with my dad, my older brother had visited from being in iraq on service and here I felt just the crippling pain of not really seeing those I should have, I had none of my friends here who I talked to all the time, I just sat next to empty chairs.
I tried to explain that to bluefiredragonz and she was rather sick of hearing it and in a way I don't blame her because I brought it up over several times just how hard it was not having those around to see or talk to. An arguement occured and we didn't speak to each other for a bit afterward. I'd try several times over the course of the next few months, but it just never really worked.
Flash again to this november (not christmas) thanksgiving approached and by this time I knew I had to see schools, I had to go farther with my life, I needed to change things because hanging out online wasn't going to be it and I needed a real job, it was a dead end. So before embarking on the hell to which Texas would be to see the other half of my family, I needed a break from everything. My dad, my brother, that store and even perhaps online.
That's where I remembered where I last visited and even when she was not with me, I did find places that were relaxing and some I never got to see due to only being there for four days that I really wanted to see. So I did so, I spent my thanksgiving night at a perkins in Shakopee, MN at a nice hotel. It wasn't too bad really and I enjoyed everything there within that area. What I did recall though from my good time was a conversation I had with her before leaving and how badly I upsetted her with what I said and it wasn't guilt that got me but because how much I do care for her, I couldn't enjoy myself. The one person I was close enough to I should have been able to share time with in all of this and such I messed up royally. So I had to do something.
I was still holding a wii fit that I would have sent her for christmas by mail. There was a time period between this that things were fine and we talked and things could be considered normal like they were around spring of the past year when we could really talk and not be stressed up from work and other things. From there I decided to get a small bouquet (flowers are a common use of apology) and a christmas card, since I wasn't going to be around there for the next holiday.With everything I started out at evening because I was bad with directions, money was tight and it gave me plenty of time to think.
This is where my travelog project would have came in, I was going to detail with my own art several pictures of what I did see for the twenty hours I did walk (30 miles back and forth). This is where I have to stop here, because I know it was a long way but when are there many instances that you do something out of the ordinary to get a perspective? There was nothing else back behind me and all there was was open road. So I kept walking and through the early hours of night it was kind of scary because of all the rural roads and no lighting and the increasing cold, but I still kept going.
To those reading you might be saying, oh he's a stalker but you know what? That just doesn't fit it. You read everyday in fantasy about those that go the extra mile for someone they care about. They usually for women are on a horse and are a knight, but how would they look today and what would they do? The premise doesn't change but the fact is people every day do that sort of thing, mine was just a longer embarkment and yes it was out of my way but it was only for a good cause. I took what I had and just did it, Not wagering on I should have done this or did that but flat out just did something more that I should have and right. In this day and age, it's almost unheard of now because of whatever shifted that. Was it from the convenience of the web or other modern things that made people get more lazy with romance or relationships in general but that's what has happened and people are just easily left to either be by themselves and never experience the kindness of anything on a daily basis and they're fortunate to recieve any. Here online, there's more exposure to that solely on the fact you can't see the other person.
Now when I visited her and in general when it was finally time to the first time, I knew she was acting stranger and the thing is in all honesty it should have prepared her more for things down the road. In general, her mate or boyfriend as she considers him and has yet to see him, can't make any steps toward that direction. At the time I first saw her, I could see why. The first step though in wanting more out of life is you have to take those steps away from the computer, if you only know the person through that outlet, how are you really going to move forward with your life? I also made it a promise to myself that I wasn't going to treat her in tha aspect like the last person I deeply cared for because I never saw them and that nearly went for three years and to what happened to the extent that person faked their death just to be on their way. I know Blue wouldn't do that and she was highly more intelligent than the other girl I knew, but the same thing was there in that fear of herself in appearance and overall the being able to do more with the world in being with those cared about. I didn't want to live the fantasy I had already experienced for three years prior, I didn't want to hurt her the way I did that person by not being there. Blue was at that point a very close friend and she was entilted to that and if it was not at that point when would it be? I couldn't call myself anything if she never got that from me.
This time too in all that walking I had doubts because if she was still mad, she might not want to see me just show up even if I was there for the other things and such but I had to do something to make things right. So when it came time for it during all those grueling steps I just left things there, even if I was at the point of collapse, I just did something for someone I cared about and that was enough.
I had the blood blisters to prove it by the time I got back to my hotel and I learned a big lesson that day was to never get myself into a situation like that again, I was willing to put myself through that, I shouldn't have to.
Of course that got me exonerated to the point of no return and soon thereafter things followed through with other friends and they too stopped talking to me. I tried to talk to them but it was too much to absorb at once and all I wanted them not to do was shut me out either.
During this whole time here, I never forgot any of those I cared about, I never once thought of something bad about them, but really reflected as I worked this other job in how to make things right. I thought long on this one and even at times when I could just pass out from the extended shifts I work monday - friday and just have little time awake that I just pass out by the laptop, I tried coming up with things. Then I remembered the art I never could get and those many pieces I could have uploaded in the past but were destroyed.
What if I commissioned them in the past for some of these? Would they have been taken to the same merit by certain individuals as the wrong intention? That note might not ever possibly known because I know you can't turn back the clock, but then I thought of something else, a timeline.
With every new idea there are those that will dislike it because it is in fact change and they have every right to voice their opinion and in some instances things get blown more than they should be and there are negative effects to these things. You just wonder why someone would go to such lengths to make them seem so bad.
The timeline itself would have been a reflection through art from past to present, each piece from what was used and given to artists was given in a way to show that. In all, I was hoping the majority would strike a chord of thoughtfulness because I tried to capture some special moments in the past three years I have been around people here at this point in my life. Some of which came from old roleplays that were done a year or so ago and for that merit were shown here.
It was a new approach and it's at a point of reading a story because some don't like it, slam it shut before seeing the end. That is what I was going for here and what amazes me is the fact that how convoluted the online world is, that people cannot get past certain things and let go of some points to see any good in things as to why they are done.
To anyone who has known me, they know I do things for others because they always just did the one thing in making me happy was being there and so that's why I do gifts or do things in many ways. That is kindness you don't see in this world and the many people you see around you, I bet most won't have a kind tale like that to say.
To
Seasons-end who I know the last image may have hurt, I was going to say not to be offended when I said to watch for any art I had commissioned done, but in the back of my mind I thought why should I have bothered? If he had stronger ties to Blue than a simple art picture wouldn't be of the question if it surfaced ever. If my things were not destroyed back in the day one still would have emerged then, and as I have already stated, would you have been upset then over it? I am sorry it did offend you but at the same time, you also have a lot of growing up to do. If you recall, I asked you for Chey's referrences and why would I do that if I had intent to hurt you? Because I never did and we'll get to why soon enough.
To
Teske who apparently was freaked out on our last conversation. I couldn't get the words out right and I just didn't want the same thing not to happen to us that happened to Blue in us having a falling out, but that was something I had to get off my chest because it was downright painful. Everyone was shutting the door on me and to that extent I tried with the current artwork to show both of you that you weren't forgotten. I was glad to see you had someone special in your life and I wanted to show that and you liked Cloudy's art so much and Charlotte discussed things with me so I did so.
To
Raniko I know you had something to prove too. I recalled the fact that a person with the character named Halloween was displeased with your service for commissioning and you told me that you haven't had as many as of late. I've always considered you a friend but never had the time to talk to you due to my hectic work schedule, but I wanted to commission you not only to prove to anyone doubing your credentials but the fact that you are an excellent artist and more should get works from you. I wanted to commish somehow an entire picture of those that were in the Torture Chamber Club on furcadia for a tribute of an '08 sort of thing. How much it would have come to I would have discussed and the like but that's why I asked.
To the claims of art and their copyrighted integrity, seriously what the fuck? I can point out some major issues here even by fanart and I am certain as to say when it comes for putting characters in different positions that I am not completely at fault there. I paid for something that actually happened, not recently but again I was going with the past which I told each artist thoroughly to the best of my knowledge. Most of what I had done came off rps that exist and in some instances like the art I commissioned from Faint that I had well over thirty I could have went for inspiration. I just chose a different time for it to see the light and I thought it could be acceptable.
I don't see disney or other large companies knocking on artists who put their characters in aspects of poses and some draw their references heavily induced by those images would be subjected to a hell of a lot more problems than I would. Case in point Shadows of Africa breedable pets on gaiaonline I'm looking at you and anyone drawing Pokemon art sexually. The list can go on and on and on, see? The fact of the matter is, places like this breed too much immature actions and such as to what things are really like as people try to keep too much fantasy over reality.
Btw: I love seeing the arts and I do enjoy that place on gaia, but I am pointing out solely the things of what people do in fact do online and they actually get away with murder when it comes to using copyrighted images.
So in a nutshell, whining over something when in all aspect you don't have a real right to strip down based on the fact of:
1. It was based of an actual event, even by text or game.
2. If anything, is considered fan art and paying homage to your character and that's all I have been doing. Not much different as to what others do for characters they like, respect, love, honor.
3. Falls under fair use and any legal action would be voided on sheer stupidity of any claim tried to be made. I made no money off this, I only wanted to share something special to me and at that particular time you and support an artist to which you said you liked.
The fact that he complied is something else in the niceness he was because you should have just left it up. In all aspects it was not meant to poke anything other than appreciation for the year and so of the company I had that was truely special to me. Hence a gift.
I was going to enlist another artist to capture a picture for her with a friend of her's named Aeden who well is a good friend of mine too. Again, it would have been a sexual pose based off an rp and some aspects I knew about it from hanging around but the point was it was to be something special and dedicate to two people I care for.
That would have been the extent of the explict works here with her involved solely from the fact it was just things I was around and I knew they would have appreciated the gifts perhaps.
There would also have been ones of her pet and others from the furcadia dream I used to inhabit with them, and before anything else is said that might mean I was anything but being a friend there. I was around these people and I tried to capture a moment in time.
As an artist you try to stay true to the source as someone told me. For each event that was to be depicted and that is all I was going to go for from that timeframe of when it occured. None of it was to be in bad taste or manner of hurt toward any subjects that might be involved. If you see something by you and wish to draw it or something in your mind stood out, is it that terrible to express it? Even if it is not right away that it ever gets finished?
At the end of all the commissions I was going to aim for one special one for her birthday in a month. Due to not having too many referrences to go from, I tried asking him personally as to what he had so what I had in mind could be done....
To bluefiredragonz you liked Faint's art but you never had any done before and you said once before that you would commission him but never had the money. You told me before not to do it because it cost so much, so I really thought out of the box on this one. I know things were hard between us and part of it too was not giving that guy enough of a chance in talking to him, so I really have tried to be better. The first piece would be practice at drawing with you, it would give him a better idea as to which would be better for the upcoming work. Which in so I thought for your birthday that if there was an intimate Chey and Blue picture that you would well, understand as much as it is hard for me to see something like that and the times we don't get to share, I just wanted you to be happy. It's all I ever wanted. I wanted to do something very special for you that you wanted to see, not what I wanted. To show that much that I do really love you.
The things on gaia I gave, one in particular, maybe you could have shared with him as to why I sent it. You were down because you couldn't see him then so I tried to cheer you up, as to part in which I tried to have Valentine art for you above all, from as stated all this time how much you mean to me.
I was that asshole at times I never wanted to be and each of those things more I tried to show I could be above all a real friend and someone that could always be there if you needed it.
Because Amanda I know you will read this or skim over it but the fact is, you needed much of what I showed you and the thing is, you can take it however you want to. You're entitled to it, and I do regret any of the bad feelings that came across from it on anyone. What I also have to say is even more lengthy because the fact of the matter is you welled yourself up too much to the fantasy that you don't know what reality is. The things I have done are what real friends do at the very least.
Love isn't sitting by a computer waiting for someone, it's out actually doing something. Taking notes of what makes them happy and living up to those expectations to try and bring it to them. Not letting you wait three or so years and then not having much to offer only but a gift and not the company is from what I see not a relationship. that is what is downright creepy and stalker like.
You take time to break your normalcy of your world to try and be a part of theirs. You sacrifice to which an extent is what love really is.
I always did that for you, and each gift built up on that. From that first necklace you gave me and letter that I still carry to the art supplies that are fuel to help my imagination in creating works that please others that I learned from you. My greatest gift and treasure was knowing you and having you a part of my life. All I wanted to do was help be there and guide you into making your own dreams come true.
To find someone that you can be yourself with, share anything and overall have that much of an impact on your life to do things the right way is a blessing and that's what you did for me.
You may not have wanted the gifts to come from me, but they did and they were from someone who truly loves you and I don't care what anyone has to say on that, if they think I am a stalker they can go fuck themself.
If Chey or Season's end or whatever else he goes by can't see you, can't do what a normal person, or even a man can do in even being there for you on the most important times when you need them, then why are you really with them?
You aren't being respected as you should be or what you deserve and it doesn't have to come from me, only that you need to seek out your happiness and stop living in a fantasy world. Otherwise, that's all you'll ever have and it's not happiness because it shows. What good is it to be with a person if it only brings out the worst in you?
I only say this though to stir something better from all of this, something that well doesn't leave you just sitting here like I have done for a long time.
I do ask though is you do allow that piece to go through, since it was already planned and at this point paid for because it is something you wanted. Faint already had a great idea in mind and I had one too, but you could consult with Chey if you feel to in what should be done. I'm not asking for any of the money back, just do what you want for it.
To everyone else, I don't want any sides taken and I thank those that have watched me at this point. I only hope everyone can be more mature in the future. In all essence art is what it is and makes you talk. When and what I had done shouldn't be in question because that is the soul of what the expression is, isn't it?
Keep watching though, I'll try and have more art soon when I can and stories.
Again I apologize for any artists, those involved in something more than they should have been when all it was really was a gift to someone. I learned much from this and it's a shame the first time I go out of my way that it's taken so horribly wrong.
Faint and 
Arctic-Sekai if any drama came their way to this. (I know it did to his from what I woke up to.)T, you never have much art on your pages, why the sudden increase?
When I first started on fa, I had to work overnights at a store so I never had time to upload, what I did have and worked on around that time, much of it was destroyed by family accidentily. This was something I wanted to show more and the fact was I couldn't, and the fact of my hours only made it impossible to really do much. Until I got this job here, with the extra income I started to pay out commissions to get things back at pace.
Are you stupid, or you really tried to creep or piss people off? That was never my intention as hard as I tried there which seems is a thing I do a lot these days but don't get too far with it. There have been many friends and loved ones I lost, simply for one reason or another when I couldn't figure out things as to how they could slip that badly. My overall intent was not to piss people off for the holiday but quite the opposite. Everything I did and have done had a reason for and it might not even be the first that comes to mind, but always the negative ones seem to topple and rear their heads first.
Flashback nearly three years ago, I was in the roughest of times. What you could call a girlfriend stopped seeing me, but then again I only saw them online so what was there much to call from it? Nothing there and so that part of my life phased off and I met knew people. One in particular was
bluefiredragonz you can say that changed many things over the course of time. I met many others because of her and to me, they were all dear friends, so even when drama hit the fan, I tried to stand by them at each of those times. Often though, my time was spent with her and it was nice. I had a close friend who I could be myself with and I could really talk to and have a great time with even for that time we could only talk online.A year passed we even started exchanging gifts, I sent mostly to her because she was special to me and you always try harder there for someone like that. Everything was fine then and then came a time we saw each other in person. I admit it was ackward and at times we weren't able to have a good time. She spent part of it on the phone with another guy, so that did eat at me and I was depressed for part of it. It was hard to get over from going that far for the most part in seeing someone because they are a close friend and you just wanted to hang out and share real time with them that work and other things always hindered. Before I left though, she gave me one of the gifts I sorely needed, and that was art supplies. It was far better than what I had been using and I could really make some great work from it, as long as I had the time to do it.
Several months pass and my overnight job and overall home life made things more stressful due to having to help take care of my dad's side of the family due to the fact of my parents being divorced, so at times things wouldn't always go alright. We would argue but things tended to be ok afterward. That is when her birthday came into question and I remembered the fun she had playing on my wii when I was there. (One of the reasons I waited at launch for it was I was hoping someday I could actually share that with her because we both were gamers and liked the same games. I could get into more of that with her.) So I waited an extra two hours when the store would open and got her one with brawl so there would be something we could do from how far apart we were, we could keep in touch still and since Teske also got it, there would be even more friends to play with.
Time passes again and with work and how busy on both sides get, there is not much use as far as spending that time whatsoever for that so it just becomes something as a hopeful one if it will ever come up. So down by july things just get rougher. I remember watching the dark knight with my dad, my older brother had visited from being in iraq on service and here I felt just the crippling pain of not really seeing those I should have, I had none of my friends here who I talked to all the time, I just sat next to empty chairs.
I tried to explain that to
bluefiredragonz and she was rather sick of hearing it and in a way I don't blame her because I brought it up over several times just how hard it was not having those around to see or talk to. An arguement occured and we didn't speak to each other for a bit afterward. I'd try several times over the course of the next few months, but it just never really worked.Flash again to this november (not christmas) thanksgiving approached and by this time I knew I had to see schools, I had to go farther with my life, I needed to change things because hanging out online wasn't going to be it and I needed a real job, it was a dead end. So before embarking on the hell to which Texas would be to see the other half of my family, I needed a break from everything. My dad, my brother, that store and even perhaps online.
That's where I remembered where I last visited and even when she was not with me, I did find places that were relaxing and some I never got to see due to only being there for four days that I really wanted to see. So I did so, I spent my thanksgiving night at a perkins in Shakopee, MN at a nice hotel. It wasn't too bad really and I enjoyed everything there within that area. What I did recall though from my good time was a conversation I had with her before leaving and how badly I upsetted her with what I said and it wasn't guilt that got me but because how much I do care for her, I couldn't enjoy myself. The one person I was close enough to I should have been able to share time with in all of this and such I messed up royally. So I had to do something.
I was still holding a wii fit that I would have sent her for christmas by mail. There was a time period between this that things were fine and we talked and things could be considered normal like they were around spring of the past year when we could really talk and not be stressed up from work and other things. From there I decided to get a small bouquet (flowers are a common use of apology) and a christmas card, since I wasn't going to be around there for the next holiday.With everything I started out at evening because I was bad with directions, money was tight and it gave me plenty of time to think.
This is where my travelog project would have came in, I was going to detail with my own art several pictures of what I did see for the twenty hours I did walk (30 miles back and forth). This is where I have to stop here, because I know it was a long way but when are there many instances that you do something out of the ordinary to get a perspective? There was nothing else back behind me and all there was was open road. So I kept walking and through the early hours of night it was kind of scary because of all the rural roads and no lighting and the increasing cold, but I still kept going.
To those reading you might be saying, oh he's a stalker but you know what? That just doesn't fit it. You read everyday in fantasy about those that go the extra mile for someone they care about. They usually for women are on a horse and are a knight, but how would they look today and what would they do? The premise doesn't change but the fact is people every day do that sort of thing, mine was just a longer embarkment and yes it was out of my way but it was only for a good cause. I took what I had and just did it, Not wagering on I should have done this or did that but flat out just did something more that I should have and right. In this day and age, it's almost unheard of now because of whatever shifted that. Was it from the convenience of the web or other modern things that made people get more lazy with romance or relationships in general but that's what has happened and people are just easily left to either be by themselves and never experience the kindness of anything on a daily basis and they're fortunate to recieve any. Here online, there's more exposure to that solely on the fact you can't see the other person.
Now when I visited her and in general when it was finally time to the first time, I knew she was acting stranger and the thing is in all honesty it should have prepared her more for things down the road. In general, her mate or boyfriend as she considers him and has yet to see him, can't make any steps toward that direction. At the time I first saw her, I could see why. The first step though in wanting more out of life is you have to take those steps away from the computer, if you only know the person through that outlet, how are you really going to move forward with your life? I also made it a promise to myself that I wasn't going to treat her in tha aspect like the last person I deeply cared for because I never saw them and that nearly went for three years and to what happened to the extent that person faked their death just to be on their way. I know Blue wouldn't do that and she was highly more intelligent than the other girl I knew, but the same thing was there in that fear of herself in appearance and overall the being able to do more with the world in being with those cared about. I didn't want to live the fantasy I had already experienced for three years prior, I didn't want to hurt her the way I did that person by not being there. Blue was at that point a very close friend and she was entilted to that and if it was not at that point when would it be? I couldn't call myself anything if she never got that from me.
This time too in all that walking I had doubts because if she was still mad, she might not want to see me just show up even if I was there for the other things and such but I had to do something to make things right. So when it came time for it during all those grueling steps I just left things there, even if I was at the point of collapse, I just did something for someone I cared about and that was enough.
I had the blood blisters to prove it by the time I got back to my hotel and I learned a big lesson that day was to never get myself into a situation like that again, I was willing to put myself through that, I shouldn't have to.
Of course that got me exonerated to the point of no return and soon thereafter things followed through with other friends and they too stopped talking to me. I tried to talk to them but it was too much to absorb at once and all I wanted them not to do was shut me out either.
During this whole time here, I never forgot any of those I cared about, I never once thought of something bad about them, but really reflected as I worked this other job in how to make things right. I thought long on this one and even at times when I could just pass out from the extended shifts I work monday - friday and just have little time awake that I just pass out by the laptop, I tried coming up with things. Then I remembered the art I never could get and those many pieces I could have uploaded in the past but were destroyed.
What if I commissioned them in the past for some of these? Would they have been taken to the same merit by certain individuals as the wrong intention? That note might not ever possibly known because I know you can't turn back the clock, but then I thought of something else, a timeline.
With every new idea there are those that will dislike it because it is in fact change and they have every right to voice their opinion and in some instances things get blown more than they should be and there are negative effects to these things. You just wonder why someone would go to such lengths to make them seem so bad.
The timeline itself would have been a reflection through art from past to present, each piece from what was used and given to artists was given in a way to show that. In all, I was hoping the majority would strike a chord of thoughtfulness because I tried to capture some special moments in the past three years I have been around people here at this point in my life. Some of which came from old roleplays that were done a year or so ago and for that merit were shown here.
It was a new approach and it's at a point of reading a story because some don't like it, slam it shut before seeing the end. That is what I was going for here and what amazes me is the fact that how convoluted the online world is, that people cannot get past certain things and let go of some points to see any good in things as to why they are done.
To anyone who has known me, they know I do things for others because they always just did the one thing in making me happy was being there and so that's why I do gifts or do things in many ways. That is kindness you don't see in this world and the many people you see around you, I bet most won't have a kind tale like that to say.
To
Seasons-end who I know the last image may have hurt, I was going to say not to be offended when I said to watch for any art I had commissioned done, but in the back of my mind I thought why should I have bothered? If he had stronger ties to Blue than a simple art picture wouldn't be of the question if it surfaced ever. If my things were not destroyed back in the day one still would have emerged then, and as I have already stated, would you have been upset then over it? I am sorry it did offend you but at the same time, you also have a lot of growing up to do. If you recall, I asked you for Chey's referrences and why would I do that if I had intent to hurt you? Because I never did and we'll get to why soon enough.To
Teske who apparently was freaked out on our last conversation. I couldn't get the words out right and I just didn't want the same thing not to happen to us that happened to Blue in us having a falling out, but that was something I had to get off my chest because it was downright painful. Everyone was shutting the door on me and to that extent I tried with the current artwork to show both of you that you weren't forgotten. I was glad to see you had someone special in your life and I wanted to show that and you liked Cloudy's art so much and Charlotte discussed things with me so I did so.To
Raniko I know you had something to prove too. I recalled the fact that a person with the character named Halloween was displeased with your service for commissioning and you told me that you haven't had as many as of late. I've always considered you a friend but never had the time to talk to you due to my hectic work schedule, but I wanted to commission you not only to prove to anyone doubing your credentials but the fact that you are an excellent artist and more should get works from you. I wanted to commish somehow an entire picture of those that were in the Torture Chamber Club on furcadia for a tribute of an '08 sort of thing. How much it would have come to I would have discussed and the like but that's why I asked.To the claims of art and their copyrighted integrity, seriously what the fuck? I can point out some major issues here even by fanart and I am certain as to say when it comes for putting characters in different positions that I am not completely at fault there. I paid for something that actually happened, not recently but again I was going with the past which I told each artist thoroughly to the best of my knowledge. Most of what I had done came off rps that exist and in some instances like the art I commissioned from Faint that I had well over thirty I could have went for inspiration. I just chose a different time for it to see the light and I thought it could be acceptable.
I don't see disney or other large companies knocking on artists who put their characters in aspects of poses and some draw their references heavily induced by those images would be subjected to a hell of a lot more problems than I would. Case in point Shadows of Africa breedable pets on gaiaonline I'm looking at you and anyone drawing Pokemon art sexually. The list can go on and on and on, see? The fact of the matter is, places like this breed too much immature actions and such as to what things are really like as people try to keep too much fantasy over reality.
Btw: I love seeing the arts and I do enjoy that place on gaia, but I am pointing out solely the things of what people do in fact do online and they actually get away with murder when it comes to using copyrighted images.
So in a nutshell, whining over something when in all aspect you don't have a real right to strip down based on the fact of:
1. It was based of an actual event, even by text or game.
2. If anything, is considered fan art and paying homage to your character and that's all I have been doing. Not much different as to what others do for characters they like, respect, love, honor.
3. Falls under fair use and any legal action would be voided on sheer stupidity of any claim tried to be made. I made no money off this, I only wanted to share something special to me and at that particular time you and support an artist to which you said you liked.
The fact that he complied is something else in the niceness he was because you should have just left it up. In all aspects it was not meant to poke anything other than appreciation for the year and so of the company I had that was truely special to me. Hence a gift.
I was going to enlist another artist to capture a picture for her with a friend of her's named Aeden who well is a good friend of mine too. Again, it would have been a sexual pose based off an rp and some aspects I knew about it from hanging around but the point was it was to be something special and dedicate to two people I care for.
That would have been the extent of the explict works here with her involved solely from the fact it was just things I was around and I knew they would have appreciated the gifts perhaps.
There would also have been ones of her pet and others from the furcadia dream I used to inhabit with them, and before anything else is said that might mean I was anything but being a friend there. I was around these people and I tried to capture a moment in time.
As an artist you try to stay true to the source as someone told me. For each event that was to be depicted and that is all I was going to go for from that timeframe of when it occured. None of it was to be in bad taste or manner of hurt toward any subjects that might be involved. If you see something by you and wish to draw it or something in your mind stood out, is it that terrible to express it? Even if it is not right away that it ever gets finished?
At the end of all the commissions I was going to aim for one special one for her birthday in a month. Due to not having too many referrences to go from, I tried asking him personally as to what he had so what I had in mind could be done....
To
bluefiredragonz you liked Faint's art but you never had any done before and you said once before that you would commission him but never had the money. You told me before not to do it because it cost so much, so I really thought out of the box on this one. I know things were hard between us and part of it too was not giving that guy enough of a chance in talking to him, so I really have tried to be better. The first piece would be practice at drawing with you, it would give him a better idea as to which would be better for the upcoming work. Which in so I thought for your birthday that if there was an intimate Chey and Blue picture that you would well, understand as much as it is hard for me to see something like that and the times we don't get to share, I just wanted you to be happy. It's all I ever wanted. I wanted to do something very special for you that you wanted to see, not what I wanted. To show that much that I do really love you.The things on gaia I gave, one in particular, maybe you could have shared with him as to why I sent it. You were down because you couldn't see him then so I tried to cheer you up, as to part in which I tried to have Valentine art for you above all, from as stated all this time how much you mean to me.
I was that asshole at times I never wanted to be and each of those things more I tried to show I could be above all a real friend and someone that could always be there if you needed it.
Because Amanda I know you will read this or skim over it but the fact is, you needed much of what I showed you and the thing is, you can take it however you want to. You're entitled to it, and I do regret any of the bad feelings that came across from it on anyone. What I also have to say is even more lengthy because the fact of the matter is you welled yourself up too much to the fantasy that you don't know what reality is. The things I have done are what real friends do at the very least.
Love isn't sitting by a computer waiting for someone, it's out actually doing something. Taking notes of what makes them happy and living up to those expectations to try and bring it to them. Not letting you wait three or so years and then not having much to offer only but a gift and not the company is from what I see not a relationship. that is what is downright creepy and stalker like.
You take time to break your normalcy of your world to try and be a part of theirs. You sacrifice to which an extent is what love really is.
I always did that for you, and each gift built up on that. From that first necklace you gave me and letter that I still carry to the art supplies that are fuel to help my imagination in creating works that please others that I learned from you. My greatest gift and treasure was knowing you and having you a part of my life. All I wanted to do was help be there and guide you into making your own dreams come true.
To find someone that you can be yourself with, share anything and overall have that much of an impact on your life to do things the right way is a blessing and that's what you did for me.
You may not have wanted the gifts to come from me, but they did and they were from someone who truly loves you and I don't care what anyone has to say on that, if they think I am a stalker they can go fuck themself.
If Chey or Season's end or whatever else he goes by can't see you, can't do what a normal person, or even a man can do in even being there for you on the most important times when you need them, then why are you really with them?
You aren't being respected as you should be or what you deserve and it doesn't have to come from me, only that you need to seek out your happiness and stop living in a fantasy world. Otherwise, that's all you'll ever have and it's not happiness because it shows. What good is it to be with a person if it only brings out the worst in you?
I only say this though to stir something better from all of this, something that well doesn't leave you just sitting here like I have done for a long time.
I do ask though is you do allow that piece to go through, since it was already planned and at this point paid for because it is something you wanted. Faint already had a great idea in mind and I had one too, but you could consult with Chey if you feel to in what should be done. I'm not asking for any of the money back, just do what you want for it.
To everyone else, I don't want any sides taken and I thank those that have watched me at this point. I only hope everyone can be more mature in the future. In all essence art is what it is and makes you talk. When and what I had done shouldn't be in question because that is the soul of what the expression is, isn't it?
Keep watching though, I'll try and have more art soon when I can and stories.
Again I apologize for any artists, those involved in something more than they should have been when all it was really was a gift to someone. I learned much from this and it's a shame the first time I go out of my way that it's taken so horribly wrong.
Unluckiest day?
Posted 16 years agoAs we approach Friday the 13th, I hope all is well for those that are out and about at work or whatever else you have planned. It hasn't been a kind year so far with the fall of the stock market farther and the unemployment rate rising.
Yesterday I had fun with the commute back home from work. The fact of how bad city life can be when you take a stop to look at it between changing buses. (I don't have my own wheels out here so it does make it more difficult in getting home, but I do save gas money.) Let's just say I'm thankful to be here without a scratch.
So far you've seen quite a few pieces uploaded, and I even had a chance to browse those that are nearing completion for the upcoming holiday and I am going to say anyone watching is not going to be displeased and you'll be in for a treat.
I think I'll try to work on a special second chapter to that fic I started awhile ago, I just lost some info in transition from my desktop to this laptop I use so I can finish that one up and upload.
Yesterday I had fun with the commute back home from work. The fact of how bad city life can be when you take a stop to look at it between changing buses. (I don't have my own wheels out here so it does make it more difficult in getting home, but I do save gas money.) Let's just say I'm thankful to be here without a scratch.
So far you've seen quite a few pieces uploaded, and I even had a chance to browse those that are nearing completion for the upcoming holiday and I am going to say anyone watching is not going to be displeased and you'll be in for a treat.
I think I'll try to work on a special second chapter to that fic I started awhile ago, I just lost some info in transition from my desktop to this laptop I use so I can finish that one up and upload.
Commissions and videos and working, oh my!
Posted 16 years agoFirst thing noticed is that I have been busy, it may not seem that way at first but I have gotten around. One of the biggest things of frustration of '08 was the fact I had plenty of good ideas to share publicly by drawing. Unfortunately most were never able to see the light of day due to how much I had to work, and what times I had to do so.
With the new job and able to get in a better income, I can afford more of what I should have been able to in the first place and for the most part, it's not as stressful anymore like that.
I do love my job but at the same time I do miss many of my friends and loved ones that I haven't been able to see as much due to it.
For '09 in getting back to how things should be it's more of a tribute to all of them. Piece by piece, either by commissions I will pay for to have scenes done or by my own hand, I'm going to fill this page with art. So that biggest change will be seen now with the first of many to start appearing here. There's many that need to see the light of day and it's time they do.
What I might also tackle in my spare time that I do get is I have been watching youtube for the let's play of games there. I may start making my own videos of walkthroughs and other games that I have played and well just enjoy playing to be exact. I've been told I have a nice voice and I may even comment on them as I play them.
My username on youtube is the same as here, now if I can only remember that passwword....
With the new job and able to get in a better income, I can afford more of what I should have been able to in the first place and for the most part, it's not as stressful anymore like that.
I do love my job but at the same time I do miss many of my friends and loved ones that I haven't been able to see as much due to it.
For '09 in getting back to how things should be it's more of a tribute to all of them. Piece by piece, either by commissions I will pay for to have scenes done or by my own hand, I'm going to fill this page with art. So that biggest change will be seen now with the first of many to start appearing here. There's many that need to see the light of day and it's time they do.
What I might also tackle in my spare time that I do get is I have been watching youtube for the let's play of games there. I may start making my own videos of walkthroughs and other games that I have played and well just enjoy playing to be exact. I've been told I have a nice voice and I may even comment on them as I play them.
My username on youtube is the same as here, now if I can only remember that passwword....
New Year's Resolutions...
Posted 17 years ago2008 came and went with not a bang but a whimper. As I sit here to type this now, I'm feeling like a mixed bag. There's much I accomplished and yet I feel so empty. (So does my submissions list, that I will resolve soon.)
December was spent fiding another job and I did, making about $11-14/hr and I won't know that until my first paycheck. It's a step forward in that sense. I will settle things with my bank in two weeks.
These last two months were a bit vague and had their own highs and lows. Traveling is good, but walking can kill even for good exercise.
I'm now known by a taxi service in the town of Shakopee to be the guy to walk 40 miles to see someone, maybe an urban legend will come of it.
I also got to see plenty of sights and some I wished I could have seen that I missed. There's always another time for some, but others...
That's how it normally goes. Financially I can always get myself out of a slump or do some amazing thing or adventerous, but that is when there is something to shoot for, a dream. I've seen many of mine always blow apart if it comes to anyone close to me.
I can't be happy when things are good without those there, it's just not going to happen. I could try to resolve this by trying to do so but I've stood tall far too long by myself and that's not where I wish to be. It's where I am right now.
It's a slight ramble or a rant, but that will comes and goes and I do my best because well that's life and you try to shoot for as little regrets as possible.
Travelogue and other things to come between my new schedule of work and free time. (Actual art submissions? Yep) Perhaps I'll have a tablet soon but for now there's always spriting...
Also I'm going to throw up two links of songs I found from recent games that I listen to try and feel better, sometimes they work. I recommend them for a good listen.
This Broken Soul
http://www.yousendit.com/download/W.....YUkwVW5IRGc9PQ
Guide you home
http://files.filefront.com/Guide+yo...../fileinfo.html
Both songs come from the recent Legend of Spyro Series of games that have gotten fantastically better with each game. I recommend checking out Dawn of the dragon, which is where guide you home comes from. I'll save that game for a review later on. I need to put more flash up too.
December was spent fiding another job and I did, making about $11-14/hr and I won't know that until my first paycheck. It's a step forward in that sense. I will settle things with my bank in two weeks.
These last two months were a bit vague and had their own highs and lows. Traveling is good, but walking can kill even for good exercise.
I'm now known by a taxi service in the town of Shakopee to be the guy to walk 40 miles to see someone, maybe an urban legend will come of it.
I also got to see plenty of sights and some I wished I could have seen that I missed. There's always another time for some, but others...
That's how it normally goes. Financially I can always get myself out of a slump or do some amazing thing or adventerous, but that is when there is something to shoot for, a dream. I've seen many of mine always blow apart if it comes to anyone close to me.
I can't be happy when things are good without those there, it's just not going to happen. I could try to resolve this by trying to do so but I've stood tall far too long by myself and that's not where I wish to be. It's where I am right now.
It's a slight ramble or a rant, but that will comes and goes and I do my best because well that's life and you try to shoot for as little regrets as possible.
Travelogue and other things to come between my new schedule of work and free time. (Actual art submissions? Yep) Perhaps I'll have a tablet soon but for now there's always spriting...
Also I'm going to throw up two links of songs I found from recent games that I listen to try and feel better, sometimes they work. I recommend them for a good listen.
This Broken Soul
http://www.yousendit.com/download/W.....YUkwVW5IRGc9PQ
Guide you home
http://files.filefront.com/Guide+yo...../fileinfo.html
Both songs come from the recent Legend of Spyro Series of games that have gotten fantastically better with each game. I recommend checking out Dawn of the dragon, which is where guide you home comes from. I'll save that game for a review later on. I need to put more flash up too.
Emergency $5 Sketch Comissions
Posted 17 years agoYou can say this is not how I wanted to do it, but I know I have lack of updates but if anyone might be interested in such things from me it would help with a dire need to pay for a debit card that I unfortunately got hit with 3 overdraft fees.
I have improved, but just have been lethargic on getting into the drawing spirit, now you can say I have no choice but to do so.
I thought the amounts were covered and the balance was accurate by the time I reached my next destination, but it turned out that it didn't work out too well and things didn't really take a turn for the better. I had a great time of what I could have on my trip (more on that later), but this trouble arose. So I have until about tuesday or so to get it fixed and the best way I can do it is by paypal, Since at the moment I don't have means of work to cover the expenses. I suppose it's in good lesson to never tetter so close to the edge even if you think you are safe, as these things can happen on any trip and what I've learned most is the airport has become increasingly expensive to deal with.
So if anyone needs a good comission cheap and are willing to part with 5 bucks, I'll be willing to give anyone a shot to see how this works.
I have improved, but just have been lethargic on getting into the drawing spirit, now you can say I have no choice but to do so.
I thought the amounts were covered and the balance was accurate by the time I reached my next destination, but it turned out that it didn't work out too well and things didn't really take a turn for the better. I had a great time of what I could have on my trip (more on that later), but this trouble arose. So I have until about tuesday or so to get it fixed and the best way I can do it is by paypal, Since at the moment I don't have means of work to cover the expenses. I suppose it's in good lesson to never tetter so close to the edge even if you think you are safe, as these things can happen on any trip and what I've learned most is the airport has become increasingly expensive to deal with.
So if anyone needs a good comission cheap and are willing to part with 5 bucks, I'll be willing to give anyone a shot to see how this works.
Collections, ports, etc
Posted 17 years agoWhat I have been working on as the title states. Expect pieces that I finish to be uploaded here. Why I kept them so long from public viewing I don't know, but it has kept me doing something when I can't sleep at night or for more than a few hours.
There should be several once I post them of Collections - taken mostly of the fem's side of things. (You'll get it when you see it.)
There should be several once I post them of Collections - taken mostly of the fem's side of things. (You'll get it when you see it.)
