I got a twitter (well I had one that I never used but I wanted one for furry stuff), if anyone cares to see random insights of my daily life and other stuff I struggle to keep within the character limit you can go here:
https://twitter.com/lexsectision

I am also making it my output for anything furry/macro related that I can not share with most of the people I know, and it kind of annoys me greatly that I cannot share my interests at all except through bursts of submitted writings or drawings.
I am trying to keep the frequency of tweets up since I never really took to social media status-thingies in the past so I try to tweet something everyday to get used to it.



This is also a journal to talk about what I am currently doing with writing. I have an issue where I keep on thinking up new concepts for stories, wanting to start them and then not working on them as I move to new things. This is the true for most of my personal projects but I have recently made a commitment to finishing all my current stories before I start on anything new. Even if they come off not as good as I would want them to due to needed to refine or take a different path, I just need to finish them. I may need to force myself to adopt different writing techniques to make stories more brief.

I also have an internal need to give all my stories some sort of plot or proper exposition or reasoning behind it. Of course some times I just want to write some smut, but I need to develop a world or situation where it is possible without overstepping some of the concepts I want to do. I reread my first submitted story to FA and it started off as pure smut without much above situation explanation. I then molded a world around that, I may need to start some stories off in the heat of the moment like that. Of course it does have a possibility of moving towards more exposition.



In other news I may upload some of my sketches, I also should scan some of my others.

Now I'm probably going to vanish without a trace for another month, or not, maybe I'll become for active. Not really wanting to play video games at the moment due to work starting which drives me to write more.

Game Playing:
Anyone up for playing games together? Currently my vices are Overwatch, Factorio, and Minecraft on the side. I got other games I might get back into, but Planet Coaster may be consuming a chunk of my time.

Role Playing:
Now onto to the more of a journal part. I am not a very active role player, it's never really drawn my attention mostly due to my tendency to overthink social things too much which then results in me running out of energy and thus makes me not want to go through getting tired again. Journals actually take a good chunk of my time to write since I feel I have to make them perfect or at least something worth reading to some extent.

Most of my role playing experience has been limited. In my past I visited a website called Daeluin which offered role playing in a forum-format which I actually kind of enjoyed until I really didn't have much leading me to continue posting there (I think forming friendships or at least partnerships was where I failed). Oddly enough I had my first furry RP experience there (nothing sexual but I believe it somewhat romantically directed now that I look back) but that was back when I didn't know RPing was a thing in the furry community (I was a freshman at the time, actually realizing there was more to the furry community beyond my paw/claw smut). I've also had good real-time RP experiences with another friend but I realized it was rather difficult for me to spend an hour or two RPing when I live with my folks and/or have to wake up at times.

In any matter, I'll get to the meat. I am interested in RPing, however I don't really know what the best format would be for me. I have started writing out a fuller character sheet rather than the changing image in my mind. I may finally link my F-List as well and import my character info to there. Heck I may even make a webpage for it and have fun little elements to play with. Then format I would most likely be able to RP in the most is more of a long-term post-to-post RP kind of like a forum. However that doesn't allow anything sexual to be done (of course it may allow for it if one re-reads it). Heck if you want to do Daeluin I may get back into it. I'd also be up for live-RPing if I have the time to do so, of course I am very prone to not being in the mood...

Add me:
Below are my contacts for game/chat. I generally do not like posting any thing that links me in this account to my other accounts since I am very afraid of my account being sniffed out by people I would rather not know about this side of me. Of course I should break down that barrier with closer friends, I'm just socially lazy with a touch of "I don't want to deal with this".

Also note/comment if you do intend to add me, or don't but explain when you add, or don't and I'll probably still accept you.

Steam: Migsect
Battle.net: Migsect#1141
Skype: Migsect
Discord: Migsect#3305


Edit Fixed title to be more digity

Quick Note:

I am going to sort of use my journals as a blog. Topics will probably range from personal stuff to more productive stuff (art, programming, media review) to more social things (gaming, maybe streams? -if I ever sum up the courage to care to do them). I want to probably make journals more often but I make them a time consuming thing (2 hours over 2 days is too much to write a single journal).



On with the show!:

Over the past few weeks I have strangely been struggling over my sexual orientation. While I was in grade school I didn't really have an orientation in that I never held an attraction to any gender, of course one wouldn't expect a child at that age to have any firm attractions. I did have my macro/micro-paw/foot fetish then (and at an early age).

In high school I didn't have much development in any gender attractions. Any sexual feelings I did have still remained towards the area of fetishes. High school was where I actually made this account but I only used it as a gateway into the site and didn't really do much more with it. I had another account that I did use a little bit but have since abandoned. Regardless I have had a couple of possible relationships with the opposite gender (female) which I didn't nurture beyond just being acquaintances. I did try dating once, but my old self back then didn’t really know what a relationship meant, that or I didn’t have much interest in it in the first place.

Before that first-and-final relationship, I didn't really think much about my orientation. I don't really recall my feelings in the past since I really didn't have any, as such I must have assumed I was straight or at least was going to act that way. I also didn't really have any crushes I could put my finger on.

In college, after I transferred into the program I am in now, I could say I had crushes towards some girls. Of course these crushes were more of me shipping myself with them but I didn't really "feel" my heart towards them. I may have possibly been able to form an emotional or romantic connection but probably no real sexual connection that wouldn't objectify them. It may also have been loneliness affecting me.

The crush I did have true feelings towards one of my friends from high school (which was an all-male high school). Of course they don't have a orientation that lines up with mine unfortunately. I have had some sexual encounters with other old-high school friends (male) but I did not really hit anything off with them. Of course I realized that I enjoyed male-male play (but have yet to experience male-female play, but still have no real interest in pursuing it in-person).

These two factors are my basis in my current orientation which I would say is queer (for ambiguity) but is mostly bisexual (pansexual) with a preference for males (sex not gender). Based on my behavior and sexual encounters I am more gay than straight. I was able to live with this for about a year and a few months without it really affecting me as a person. Now when it came to one of my classes, being one about human sexuality, there was a panel of LGBQA people which I could have had a chance to be on, however I was taking the class with some of my class mates in my program (as we planned to do so together) so even if I was brave to sit in front of the lecture.

I did not want to be before my peers since I don't share much of my sexual self with them (as I don't see a need to). Furthermore I still do not feel right being in the LGBTQA community. It might be that I am closeted as well as still sort of uncertain (I am certain that I do want a relationship eventually, but that may just be the loneliness talking). Another rationale I use is that by associating myself with the community, I would somehow have myself marginalized by other people. I know this is not going to be the case, but since LGBTQA rights is still a hot topic in both politics, culture, and religion I cannot just have it only be part of my being that, for example, my spiritual beliefs would be.

Coming back to the topic of being closeted. I don't have the feeling that "coming out" would be necessary. Of course maybe I'm hoping to eventually I can candidly "come out" since that is more passive and doesn't put me much in the spot light. Of course I would have to actually come forward during opportunities which I can do so.

I'm still a bit lost as to how to handle my identity in this manner since I don't know how to put my thumb on it. I have a feeling that I am possibly (truly) gay, but my methods of attraction sexually aren't reliant on sex and romantically it’s not based on gender. Hence why I say I am bisexual with a preference for males, possibly a strong preference. I understand that sexuality is fluid over time and is not as defined as society makes it out to be.

I had a realization just an hour ago that I have had very little contact with people today, through online and offline means. The contact I did have with people boiled down to being utilitarian and not really personal. Generally on Wednesdays I only have two classes and after that I go home before traffic starts to pickup. I did get invited to a study session by a classmate, but I did not go since I wasn't in the mood for studying since my last class had a test.

I may have just been tired today and as a result was rather unsocial, but it was kind of realization I just happened upon. It didn't make me sad and the emotive state I would put myself in could be described as emptiness or apathy. However this may just be a form of sadness where I have given up on feeling sad and instead I have the lack of feeling.

This gets down to a root cause in that I do not naturally gravitate to being social and in all likely hood I could survive being alone all the time without much human contact, given I would become a little more neurotic than I am right now. While I may be able to cope and function with being alone, this only works as long as I don't have to a window into what may or can be.

I see others having strong friendships that span back to childhood and others in which they may very well be linked together. I see this as envy which I try to rationalize against and control, however this may be more damning than accepting my envy. The envy that I feel is not for the specific but the abstract type of relationship that is between two people and what I described before is a platonic relationship.

I did have that form of relationship once and multiple chances, but in reflection I know that I lost them due to a combination of social ineptitude and difficulties of contact. Now I am at a stage where I starting to give into the belief that I may never regain that type of relationship and have it be true.


I have theorized on the many factors that may have contributed to this.

For most of my life I have been segmented between a face that I present to the world and a face I show to another world that I have only recently cared about showing. These two worlds may intersect in which some people get to see two faces, but this dual nature makes me uncomfortable even though I have grown to tolerate it and at first saw it as necessary. This fix this, I have thought of forgoing having multiple accounts on FA and letting the people I have met through my non-this account use this account as a face, however I have to make sure I remain decoupled from my real identity since I wish to maintain professional image security. I am just realizing there is no reason to split my furry self.

Another factor is that I am exposed to a small sample size of people and/or do not develop with my current sample size. I call myself lazy when I try to branch out but in reality when someone says they are socially lazy I am realizing that it is just anxiety since those that say they are too lazy to branch out probably see the action as exhausting (I do at least). Through therapy I have done better in branching out with the people I am in contact with (school mostly) but I am still too afraid of exposing myself to the fandom.


This may be a natural consequence of getting older and in a time of life were a lot of friends will be going their own way within a few years before settling down. As such the difficulty of finding lasting, heartfelt friendship is hard. I may also just be expecting more than is realistic, maybe I just want some to listen to as well as be able to talk to, to grow with and share something with. Someone who I feel natural to be around.

Thanks for reading.

I am going to start writing journals that focus on the analysis of a topic that I have been mulling over. They may or may not be related to me personally and may be more akin to academic writing as a result. Even then, as a discussion of thought I do not know if a medium of this kind is best fit for journals or as submitted essays.

Also this may have spoilers.

Zootopia's Reminder on Anthropomorphism:

As it is obligatory for every Furry to have something to say about Zootopia, I do have my own words on the subject. Zootopia was a good movie and really gave background to a world that is inhabited by anthropomorphic animals. Because Zootopia didn't have any humans influencing the world, I would say that it is one of the few absolutely anthropomorphic piece of media to be produced.

One thing Zootopia reminded me of was the importance of keeping animal characteristics when writing and creating anthropomorphic characters and worlds. Who you are and the world you live in greatly influences you as a person and Zootopia made sure that each character was impacted by their species. Because the animals kept a past knowledge of their previously "savage" position in nature, this also molded their place in a civilized world.

When writing worlds with anthropomorphic worlds, one should remember to keep true to the roots of what is being anthropomorphized and as such when performing this administration of human-like qualities to animals, one should not remove the fact that they still have their roots as animals.

Seeing it in other furry stories as well in mine, the worlds are not truly anthropomorphic. In that I mean that things not human are given human characteristics. Rather I would say that we are giving humans non-human characteristics but they are still mainly human. This may still be a form of anthropomorphism but most times the species of the character or species in a world do not matter. What is being done is giving the characters a different visual aesthetic as opposed to characterizing them based on their differences.

Zootopia also makes use of many animal stereotypes, which helps to paint its world as diverse. However I was straying away from these stereotypes since they may feel overworked and smelled like animal cliches. Even then, ignoring the base traits of a anthropomorphic character's animal is throwing away characterization which is much more important than how the character is visualized lest that look has caused the character to be excluded or exalted which can be done with non-animal related mechanisms.

This is what Zootopia reminded me of and as a result I am going to try to shift universes around to include some animal stereotypes or have characters represent an animal more truly based on size and ability. This brings us to the next topic from Zootopia.



Zootopia's Micro/Macro World: (Lineup of species sizes)

Zootopia's world has people at a size that reflects their base animal's sizes. Mice are really small while elephants are really big. Zootopia as a result is indeed a piece of Micro/Macro media and it paints a world where micros and macros live together.

Size, while clumped into the attribute of a species, did largely dictate the stereotypes in Zootopia. If you take away the size difference between most characters and put them at around equal heights then you will remove a lot of the differences between the species. The differences in size placed the different species in different positions of society. The rodents were largely powerless in any form of brute force while larger animals such as wolves, bears, and buffalo are rather powerful.

In general I would say that predators are taller than the general populace (of which is 90% prey-animals)(the prey-animals were the biggest however). Even then the prey discriminate against the predators. In contrast of most macro/macro stories and media we see the macro's having power over the micros. Given the prey population has their larger members which may balance out the two bi-sectioned populace, the view of predators as preying on the prey is still held, even when the prey in the end have more power than the predators.

If you think about the 90% prey population, the predators would have to conform to prey-society as opposed to trying to institute themselves as the rulers since technology essentially nullifies their power.

Now back to the size difference qualms. Size plays a huge role in defining the different species of Zootopia. If everyone was the same size, then the drama of Judy wanting to become a police officer would be lackluster and less of a feat that she achieved. Bringing back how Zootopia depicts anthropomorphism, size very well affects a character and is also part of how one deals with anthropomorphism when creating a world. Size offers contrast of strength and when one overcomes the limit of size or power it makes for a good story (see "David and Goliath" and most underdog stories).

Zootopia also depicts a functional macro/micro world. There are other works that depict a disfunctional macro/micro world where generally one side is not on a level playing field with the other. Generally micro characters are second class or in hiding or macro characters are demonized and killed. Zootopia is functional in that a micro character is on equal grounds of person-hood as a macro character. This can be seen with Judy's relationship with Fru Fru as well as many other character interactions. Furthermore, micros are in positions of power (Mr.Big) and often have white collar jobs (which is expected from their position).

This has made me kind of want to visualize a functional macro/micro world or transform existing worlds to fit this.
In any matter, Macro/Micro is more of a fetish, but I also am a fan of size difference as a literary device and seeing a functional world of macro/micros living together was interesting and fun.



Thanks for reading, this is a long journal.
In any regard I may attempt to push myself to post more journals on basically anything, possibly using them as an actual journal. We'll see.

It's been two months since I've really done anything but I don't really find much time to crank out work on my different stories much. What I have been doing is devoting an hour of every weekday night to writing or editing, but most of this attention has been focused on a new scenario that I have very much enjoyed.

This new story has probably exceeded the cumulative length of all the other stories that I have uploaded so far. With the first part/episode/series (don't know what I'm calling these) clocking in at about 8.4k words I am making my life an editing hell while I still wanting to continue on with the story...


Anyhow, I was thinking of using a different kind of document-type to push out the story in, most likely pdf and I was wondering what would be the best way of exporting the story? PDF may be the best option because often it has in browser viewing (if you're using chrome at least.) I dislike word due to review features marking false misspellings, also word docs may not be as compatible with other systems such as phones.

Anyhow, would pdfs be better than word docs? That's all I really want to know. (I'll probably do a test run with pdfs if no one responds)

I feel like I should make journals more often, often not for any reason. I really don't know what to use them for nor if I really want to use them. However they do have some benefits such as only people who care to even look at journals instead of just nuke them will read them. This makes journals a silent place to hide your thoughts, letting those who find them read them.

First order of business: I want to make (no do) commissions.
I need something tangible besides words to consolidate myself and I'm way too lazy to hone or recuperate any drawing skills. As such I'm looking (further) into commissioning... passively. I'll probably won't do anything mature, just a profile or reference or something. Maybe a pose. Simple, no big leaps. I treat my characters/sonas as myself or as my children. A certain virtue holds me to them.

Second order of business: Video Games
If you like games, steam me! Of course message me or respond here. I play: Minecraft, (want to) Gary's Mod, Diablo 3, and sometimes other things. Be my friend!

Third order of business: Stories
I got a new one I'm writing up. This may be a multiparter because it may be a long long story. I also got other stories I can work on, but its not as fun as the one I am working on.

Fourth order of business: Non-Macro Stories
I may or may not post them to my (not so) main account. I may or may not link my main account. If you're interested in stuff that is not very macro/micro or pawsy and in all cases are clean, then maybe I'll put a link up.

Fifth order of business: Current state of affairs
I don't know how I'm feeling. I found out I got a cavity (no big deal). I have less than a month of my summer-job before school starts up again. I am not feeling as gamey as I was before. I'm getting bored at home more than I should. I don't go out enough with people as I should. I still have paranoid presumptions about people which keeps me locked and afraid. I think I'm putting on weight. I'm not really depressed or really happy, I may just not have the vigor I used to have and that kind of makes me worried.

Anyhow, this concludes this journal. Thanks for reading, and make sure to appreciate clouds if you ever can, they're pretty cool.

I'm going to make a journal log during the second half of each month as to make me a wee bit more active than me not doing anything for months. I feel that I do too little reflection that I actually write down and make into a solid piece. As such I'm going to experiment with these journals as a place to dabble with thoughts.


In the spirit of the title, I shall go over my lack of inspiration. It could be that I am just winded out from work and school and haven't had as much free time as I did in the past. The truth of the current time though is that I feel as if I am drained of some creative force that I used to have. The various projects that I have are untouched. The worlds I have formed are starting to look bleak and unfamiliar as dust settles upon them.

I have two 'this account' related stories in which I have stopped writing. I rest the blame upon a form of Writer's Block in that I have lost the direction of each story, or rather, I have lost the will to continue in the direction in which they go. This may be a result of me fantasizing beyond the current story and thus ruining it for myself, but it is hard to write if you do not mentally write ahead. This may be a result of the essence of the writing matter, but it still bothers me that I cannot continue on. It may just be a step in which I just force myself through.

I also have a few other stories in which the concepts of are interesting, but I have other stories I need to write such that I can't get to them. This bothers me because I can't have everything, which is reasonable that I can't, but I don't want to leave these concepts to dry up.

Aside from the aforementioned, I have this strange feeling of me forgetting something really important or that I have impending doom lying over my head. This may be a result of this current up and coming week being exam week, however I've felt this since last week (which still makes sense). It might also be that I am tiring of my job, either drained by it and/or not looking forward to having to do it for another summer. I currently have an application in to work somewhere (hopefully) better, but that is merely a hope.


Also, while I may not have as much free time, the free time I do have is spent not doing anything due to it coming in non-focused packages of time. I am currently looking for a Minecraft Server to chill on, standard survival, maybe some (non-brokeningly set up) plugins.

And as once is always, if you have read this journal, thanks for watching! Also you get a cookie if you have! So cookie for you!

*Eyes Shrinking Salve's 'month ago' submission*
Yeah I've had part 3 done for about 2-3 weeks (maybe 4) :I


I don't know if it matters all that much on how prompt I am in submitting things, I usually submit them when I feel I'm comfortable with what I have to submit. Usually this occurs after I do a quick read-though of the writing and make sure to fix any typos and confusing lines (sometimes they get through).

I've also been busy with school in additional to work which has often led me just getting home and doing other things that are much more- interesting at the time (like games).

Furthermore I have two additional half-baked stories that I have in the works, but I can't be sure if I'll ever complete them. I also have a non-fetish story that I want to post onto my less-active main account.

In addition to those two stories I want to try either an interactive story (in a word doc) or a community-voted story, like a crowd-sourced choose your adventure. I've seen other people do something like this and I wonder how it would go. I would overall be giving a selection of directions after each part (as with interactives) and see where it goes from there. Also I may just let people actually say what they want a character to do like how Homestuck was when it first started.


Now on the subject matter of journals:
I'm not sure if I'll be doing journals more or less as I'm not quite sure how many people care (I know I didn't really care about them when I was merely a 'Archiver' watcher).

Anyhow first journal, see you guys around. Thanks for watching. ^,..,^