As always I wait a few days before making a statement. I typically have to digest some information and calm down from the hype that are events. Such that this year is nothing different. MFF was and is always a ton of fun for me. Despite all the events I attend and work, FurFest is my relax convention where I really just don't want to care about drama or responsibilities. Unfortunately that never seems to be the case.

Days before the convention I was striving to get some special assignments at work done, in fact prior to Thanksgiving. I work for a medical software vendor and one of our big shows was coming up, myself and my teammate needed to push ourselves to get a project done in time and unfortunately we didn't get where I wanted it to be. So I was striving to finish it up before leaving on vacation. We didn't get that either so the entire convention I was dreading my return to work and how everyone would react to our status. I was afraid as hell I'd come back to some sort of lecture or worse about it.

Then the flight to Chicago on Thursday came, where I was to for the first time EVER take public transit from my home to the airport. I hated it and never want to do it again, for $3.00 and 2 hours I admit the Bus and Light Rail did their job efficiently. Money was a big influence on this one. The flight to Chicago was uneventful and by 11AM Thursday morning I was checked into my room and wandering the hotel. I got to spend the day greeting people I knew as they came in as well as help the convention with little tasks when nothing else was going on.

Half my roommates didn't arrive until Friday morning (see 8AM knock on hotel door wake up.. and 8:30 room service knock when trying to fall back asleep).. and the other half works in Operations so needless to say I didn't feel like I was in a room full of "con party". Friday and Saturday both had the way of.. I don't have a show or panel to do so I am bored, I am wandering, I am going to just greet everyone I see. I got to spend time with my roommates occasionally but they were people I see ALL THE TIME. All I wanted to do was be a part of a larger group.

I don't remember much of the panels honestly, for some reason I couldn't sit still long enough to absorb an entire event. Even Gryphon, Kage, and their combined show.. the who's lion show.. too much light.. none of it I was able to just stay attached to. I just had to keep moving around. It was very odd year for me. I also happened to make amends with one friend only to piss off a different one. (to which note I say... I fucked up. And Boop.)

But then there was the chlorine incident. We've ALL talked about this to death and let me just cap what I was going though: My roommates and I was just laying down for bed, they had to leave early to fly back home. My head hits the pillow as the alarms go off. The whole time I'm watching, listening, trying to assist in any indirect fashion I can. My friends are my family and when the attack happened all I could do was signal out to EVERYONE and make sure people were safe, warm, sane, and in some lucky cases.. in the hotel next door getting some sleep.

Eventually we all got inside and everyone was so dead tired that the party was over. 5AM we all got to sleep. Sunday was as I think everyone felt it.. different. Most were waking up late or running on zero sleep what so ever. The con was over and everyone was trying to be in high spirits. My friends made it to their flights on time and home safely. Only a couple colleagues at work did the math about Chicago. My parents haven't. I'm okay with this.

Monday was a nice and amazingly relaxing day. Late checkout and let the mad rush of people leave, while I was calm and enjoying the company of locals departing. My flight departure wasn't until 5 so I ordered pizza with Bluefire (her flight was around 7) and sat around the lobby.

If I learned anything from this convention, is that I need to focus on who I'm rooming with. Half the convention I couldn't interact with them and the other half i didn't have a driving force to do so anyway. I was way too bored and while flying is an AMAZING stress relief, driving with a group of friends is what I think I prefer. I hope they identify the person(s) responsible for the chlorine incident and I sincerely hope they are not regular convention folk. I want to look back on our furry family and feel that it wasn't one of our own.

.. and the sneeze I just heard reminds me, I AM NOT SICK! While everyone else getting con crud I'm not! *hugs to everyone who is*...

All in all I look forward to next years MFF, and I hope that I can own up to whatever problems I have caused. Next Stop: Fur Squared? Hard to tell.. I want to but very busy time for work. They might be dragging me to Chicago instead.

Holy cow what a ride. Last weekend we hosted over 540 furs and I can attest to what the closing ceremonies announced: We appreciate every single person who came out and equally want to hear feedback on what we can do for 2015.

If I wasn't supervising the Registration lines I was running around the hotel floor checking on my fellow Staff. To me a sign of a successful convention is that every person is keeping their whits about so I made sure to always open with 'how are YOU' wanting to hear from the person not the department. The result was with very time I was welcomed with a smile and "I'm doing good."

I wish I had more time is all. I was constantly shoeing my friends away as I wanted them to enjoy the con while I was working. I missed jumping in the Dunk Tank, I missed a lot of gaming time, and all around my feet HURT by the end of the convention. Getting back to the gym is a MUST!

Wow, it's been a few months since I cared about Fur Affinity. What has gone on you ask? Let's hit this bit by bit..

The job has been staying steady and every week I'm being shown a new technology, new development technique, or new concept to shape me into a confident and reliable software engineer. The entire atmosphere is very family friendly, with everyone looking out for each other including the Boss who loves to just poke fun and haze us developers (although I wish he had better timing or wouldn't hang on a joke as long.. it gets awkward. we know he means well though)

I've been in Brooklyn Park, MN for the last 3 months. I love my new roomies and the opportunity to get away from St. Cloud. I spent my entire life having a 20-30 minute drive from my old home to any place of interest, which for a long time meant nothing of vast social capacity. But now that 20 minutes put's me at the Mall of America, the Fur Meets, and beyond. Yesterday I spent the afternoon watching a Movie with a friend, afterward we hiked on trails for 2-3 hours never exactly finding the right paths, but all around having fun getting "lost" and discussing the movie. This was something I never could do before and for the first time (not the last obviously) I FULLY felt the benefits of my choices.

There have been a few events I attended over the months, namely Megaplex and a campout. Megaplex was easily a ton of fun, a lot of musically talented folks and I totally want to get back there next year. The campout was only a few weeks ago and it was a nice two days getting away from people and their problems. Forget the cell phones and video games, go roast food over a campfire and watch the stars. Chase after wild foxes when you see eyes in the woods.. it is certainly how to spend a summer.

Furry Migration.. what else can I say but IT IS COMING! For those who don't know I am one of two heads of Registration, you'll see either myself or Snapcat (or both of us). I won't disclose details but oh my god do the badges look great.

What's in the long future? I stepped away from society to deal with all the changes in my personal life, and I can only hope that after Migration I get an opportunity to slow down and relax. I've come to accept change in people and places, and I've felt empowered by my decisions. Honestly I can say the only thing I wish I could change, is I find the time to return to the Gym.

So I just talked with my supervisor who at the topic of "there was a trip at the end of July I was curious about" he asks how long I'd be gone, and I explain "just a weekend, i'd love to take thursday friday and monday.". He turns, laughs, asks if he could get a extra day out of me the week before and the week after, to which I nod and he says "book it! that's called having a life!"

So yes, I'm targeting Megaplex this year! Now just to await for some cheap plane tickets.

So work has been going good, officially 4 weeks complete and the project manager has been tossing me many odd things to try and curve my knowledge of everything that goes on. He keeps reassuring me that I'm doing good and making right choices but when your not in a task that has a lot of "show and tell" you get nervous for possibly non issues. Still there, I am.

The MNFURS Spring Picnic was yesterday, got to chill with a lot of good people including Jedi Master Aerak and Sith Darth Rideous . The best part was after a week of boring cloudy rainy weather the skys opened up and it was just warm enough to be a very nice day. No volleyball made me sad but that was because there was no net! The park grounds I guess didn't hang it or something. For probably 150-200 turn out it was very pleasant.

Its been 1 year since I posted http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4597776/ and I know its been hard being civil with people. I know I lashed at a few people in particular who didn't deserve it - if your reading this I'm sorry, remembering this crap and where I was last year is like a version of PMS, and yesterday was the one day I wasn't in the mood for bullshit or fake smiles.

But I did get to sit back and have some nice conversations and catch up with people I haven't talked to lately. Mostly again due to work, the fact is that when I get home I don't always wanna deal with some people, while other people are still or just beginning to go to work. I got to work on some upcoming plans also so who knows maybe fun times in the near future.

Furry Migration is still rolling along, I spoke with my co-head and we have some new volunteers for the registration department, and attendance is growing steadily.

I also got a new car! A 2005 Buick Rendezvous (I am used to my family's 2006) was for sale and I needed something to help me get around. The great thing is that this car IS mine and not going to be questioned how many miles I put on it. One small peg closer to being totally free of St. Cloud. I have considered everything I've done in the last few weeks and I have come to the conclusion that if work stays strong and reliant, I will be out of town by the end of the year! All I need is a little job security and a pay raise.

Depending on the circumstances I could find myself moving to the twin cities, which could put me local to all the metro friends, but still give me an hour drive to work... or I could be in Buffalo which would put me right next to work but put me an hour away from my friends. I kinda wanna be closer to people I care about so I can invite guests and such, but I have done the math and living in Buffalo is clearly more cost effective.

That's about it for now. As always hell just yell at me and I can answer questions!

While most of my watching audience already knows this haha, I got a new job! After months of wishing and hunting I came across an opportunity thanks to as a code developer for a company in Buffalo (about an hours drive).

So far this opportunity is offering everything I wanted, from merely getting out the house and being responsible, to doing something that has a long term future. Already I've been tasked to research their software and some languages to the nth degree for a software conversion.

And this brings out two words that are vitally important if I ever wanna escape my current living standards: Even if this is the only project they put me on for a few months, if I become the go-to guy for it I'm gonna be set for job security!

For now I'm looking into a car to help alleviate the pressure of the pump, but I'm taking it day by day. The pay is good and the hours are there, what more can I ask for?

I guess there's this thing called a web browser. It has more then just netflix and hulu. Or does it?

Ever since my last post things have been a little odd, I feel like if I was a car someone would be driving me around slamming on the Brakes at random intervals. One moment everything's picking up speed and the next I take a major break from life and responsibilities. FurSquared, chilling with friends, complaining about the weather, prepping for Furry Migration, and now getting ready for Anime Detour. It's just been a mix up between being "busy" getting ready to be relaxed.

I've almost got my car back from repairs, I really want to get a new job, I wanna get the hell out of my home town (baby steps twisted.. baby steps), and I wanna heavy dose of Karma to bitch slap people around me that think life is just so perfect. *swallows the rant - it burns - make it stop - OH MY GOD WHY THE FUCK CAN'T SOME PEOPLE WAKE UP...*

.. So what's got up my ass today? Well actually I'm laughing right now I'm really not mad at much. But at the same time I'm just going through what we've all been with... That urge to forsake all the laws and moralities that keep us safe and out of prison? That for 2 minutes just completely ruin someones life? I've got that urge. I just wanna throw someone off a cliff for fun. =) Not that I'd go through with it. I'm just reflecting on the lives I've encountered and all the people who I would judge worthy of getting a helping hand from a PMSing karma faerie. And as much as I hate to say it, <3 you guys, some of those people i even label as Friend.

But anyway, no promises on when I'll next have a reason to post. For now I'm looking forward to the warm summer air and time spent with friends.

Yup, I got lucky, but I was in a rollover with my Buick. It happened on Friday morning going in to work; I was departing home merging on to the Highway as I've done thousands of times past but this time the entire road was black iced. Thank god I had experience with crazy driving (Boats ATVs and yes Cars I've done some things that made me loose control) because the moment I got off the on-ramp I knew the problem.

Because of my approach the car never leveled out, it kept wanting to pull to the left. I tried to steady it out and hope that by crossing from right to left (two lane highway) it would give the time needed to get some traction. The danger most people would have made is over correcting their turns and completely spinning out of control. Instead I simply let it continue doing what it wanted to already do, and the Buick slid right off and into the ditch.

The Buick is a little top heavy due to its narrow wheel base, so when it leaned off the road gravity pulled it onto its side and it rested upside down. It also somehow spun 180 so that the front was facing the opposite direction. For me it was all a gradual spin and I simply had to pad around for my phone and report the incident. About a dozen people came running to check me out and make sure I was okay, I had to wave everyone off as I was talking to the Sheriff.

The entire incident happened in a few seconds, and I was stuck looking at the on-ramp where it started only a city block's distance away. I came out of it without a scratch, the Buick was in pretty good shape too. I'm planning to go in later today to officially check it out but at the time I didn't notice any frame damage or glass damage, just a little plastic bent out of shape.

First ever TMI Tuesday. Let's see if anyone can break me.

A lot of things to do this year, personal goals have been to get a new job and get a new place to live. Keep going to the gym and getting into shape, spend more time with people I care about, and maybe even meet someone special I can share my life with. The last one is not a resolution just wishful thinking.

Furry wise I have 5 conventions I plan to hit this year and I should be able to accomplish each if my budgets hold true.

March - FurSquared
April - AnimeDetour (not furry, but we locals represent)
July - Megaplex
September - FurryMigration (our local con)
November - FurFest

I wish I could add Convergence (local non furry) or Anthrocon to the mix (they happen at the same time fyi) but late June early July is a bit annoying for me. Not to mention six cons is probably pushing my schedule to an extreme.

Well I know I won't be writing anything on xmas day so I wanted to just say it now! The next few days are filled with some last minute work, shopping, being sociable with friends and eggnog. Lots of eggnog. Like holy shit can a person get fat on how much eggnog I am going to be consuming. Oh wait, I am. I guess the next few days are gonna be filled with the gym too (they already would have been) =)


What do I want for the holidays? If anyone has $3000 sitting around they wanna just hand over I've got a computer part wishlist that I want to craft. Or hey I'll take a kick ass new job, one where I can actually enjoy the company of my work colleagues!

I had to wait a couple days as no sooner then I get home do I get hit by some of the most crazy con crud ever. It started with three of my roomies getting sick Sunday evening, and having to take care getting them all home in one piece Monday. Talked with everyone so far and they seem to be surviving, but for me Tuesday morning I woke up with a groan and Wednesday I could barely leave my bed without shivers or migraines.

But for MFF itself? WHY DID IT HAVE TO END!?! Seriously so much wonderful time just getting out to see all the different suitors and games and fun. Met some new faces and had some unforgettable laughs. I was hoping to meet up with some long lost friends outside of the fandom but those plans fell apart, but instead got a last moment roomie who totally rounded off the group. If there was one thing I never really had made an effort for this year was the dance/raves, if there was something I had too much fun with was Too Much Light. For those who were there, let's just say people liked my butt... *sighs*

I'm probably done with conventions for a while, I think not until April with Anime Detour (local). I need to press onward with work and the normal grind. I am going to make an effort to attend Megaplex or Anthrocon when they come back around.

-T

Let me pretense this with you guys know me, I'm fairly raw and opinionated, and today I just wanted to rant on something. Totally bitch out. I like to rant actually, it helps me to unwind. It keeps me happy to just speak my mind. First person context for writing ease.

Today's Topic: SOCIAL MEDIA

Alright look, we all love the power of social media and the lot. Facebook and Twitter are naturally at the top of the list, I also poke around LinkedIn, Google+, and even our very own FurAffinity is a lovely way of keeping up to day with people around the world. I personally use them to keep up to date on news and entertainment, gaming and new technologies. But at the end of the day one thing that I never understand is this growing replacement for basic social interaction!

I've seen people hold entire conversations via Twitter, and they were just feet apart. I seen people tweet random crap that the rest of the world could have gone without hearing. And when you get those facebook updates that someone is traveling and it constantly shares their location, why? Why do we need this? See what pisses me off is not to say that it's useless: its TOO USEFUL! I'm not stupid, my life my hobby is about finding small bits of information and connecting the dots until I come across a discovery. I think all the time and analyze everything that happens around me, I can't help it!

So when I find people I know interacting to make a plan over a weekend that COULD include me, and NEVER do I get personally informed about it, IM CURIOUS WHATS UP. By the third or fourth time I'M DAMN RIGHT PISSED. Twitter is not an excuse to stop talking to people, all it does is make you act like your harbinger a secret. If you are trying something private A) DONT TWEET IT TO THE WORLD and B) TELL US DIRECTLY IF YOU DIDNT LISTEN TO A. We will understand. Otherwise you just look ashamed to admit your going to a movie or doing some other random crap, then who your spending your time with probably sucks. That's just a fact.

Oh you made a new journal that the world is coming to an end? You got the entire follower base in an upset and don't know what to do, just to watch you be quiet. Guess what? People are going to be looking for an udpate, GIVE THEM ONE. How hard can it be to say "false alarm".

Is it my fault if I never speak up? NO. Their not my plans, I'd be seen as a nosy jerk to get involved at that point. So then maybe I should just stop reading those messages and getting worked up? HELLO?!? What part of ITS FLASHED ACROSS MY FACE I CANT VERY WELL HELP IT was missed? The whole point of a twitter account is to read tweets. And of course I can't just stop watching because "of course oh I'm the one with issues?" Wake up and realize the crap your saying publicly to world people. Try getting away from a keyboard and talk friends once in a while, maybe they want to hear from you directly not read how your day was with status updates.


I feel like i just wanna stop actually I feel pretty good. Might make a new rant next week if I can find something inspiring to dig into. Knowing my life, that won't take long =)

So yeah, picked it up on Steam during the summer sale. After all the great things I've heard I figured it was time.

Holy shit this game is fucking amazing. Yeah I'm sure furs will go crazy just because its all anthropomorphized characters, but that's like.. the last thing that makes this game great. It has amazing art, graphical phadelity, it feels smooth it feels right. Your abilities and techniques grow so the fact you really carry just one weapon does not matter. Besides, its a talking freaking sword that doesn't sound all emo.

It breaks the fourth wall in many good places, and the banter between characters is just superb. The story behind the character and the entire game is very heartwarming. I can't help but smile over the overall plot and messages the developer used to make from beginning to end a very satisfying experience. Seriously a good story is how you hook me into a game, this game made me loose half an afternoon I didn't want to put it down.

If you've never experienced this game, and have an excess 15 dollars sitting around, pick it up!

So just got home from the Spring Picnic, had an amazing time hanging out with all my friends and played some great volleyball with Flip Kity Aerak and more. Food was nice I noticed my cheese tray again got swiped for the grilling, the meat tray also was gone by the end which really was nice. I think next picnic that's just what I'm going to do I soooo over spent for such a simple donation. (almost 50 bucks) The weather was nice by the time I got there, heard really nasty things in the early morning and sorta wish I was around.

Had to turn down some rides for personal transportation, which I guess the gas money would have been welcomed but in all fairness I loved having that freedom to visit Perkins at 9:00 after everyone cleaned up. I know some people couldn't stay the whole picnic or just got bored, I was bouncing between everyone the 8 hours just slipped away.

My normal meets in town are on hiatus, with the restaurant I frequent going out of business. Monday morning I'm taking some solo time before my Gym day and going to call or visit some locations, if I can find a nice place I'll be looking into August for an event date. It really just sucks because Godfathers food was great for the price, the space was twice as big as Perkins bi-meets, its seating was so much better then any old Perkins, and we could put on any entertainment we wanted and made a whole party out of it ... OR just turn on the TV and watch whatever is available... to find a place like that and not be ripped off, maybe impossible.

Coming up I know I got some personal time I wanna take, got a few hurdles around home I need to deal with but nothing that should interfere too much. Still trying to find work and actually get money. Disposable income would be an amazing thing.

That about wraps up things for now. XD

1: Name: Paul
2: Age: 28
3: 3 Fears: 'uncontrollable' Heights, Bees/Wasps, Spiders
4: 3 things I love: Video Gaming with Friends, A Song I can Grove to, A full Belly.
5: 4 turns on: Honesty, Warm Smile, A nerd/geek at heart, those little quarks that make them blush,
6: 4 turns off: Manipulation, Shallow, Snobby, Emotionless Black Holes
7: My best friend:
8: Sexual orientation: 95% Strait, 5% Bi.
9: My best first date: In theory it involves food, music, laughing, and.. Superbeast by Rob Zombie is playing right now so I don't really care about much else.
10: How tall am I: 5'8
11: What do I miss: My childhood.
12: What time were I born: Hell If I Know
13: Favorite color: Red.
14: Do I have a crush: Of course I do. Not telling you!
15: Favorite quote: Geronimo! <doctor who>
16: Favorite place: New Zealand
17: Favorite food: Pizza
18: Do I use sarcasm: oh course I don't!!! ;)
19: What am I listening to right now: Pandora: Remember - Disturbed.
20: First thing I notice in new person: Their posture.
21: Shoe size: 10.5
22: Eye color: Hazel
23: Hair color: Brown/Black
24: Favorite style of clothing: Jeans and relaxed.. what season are we in?
25: Ever done a prank call? Before caller ID.
27: Meaning behind my URL: TwistedWarrior is a niche nickname I used as a teen.
28: Favorite movie: So many good movies to speak of, but a classic is always Gremlins!
29: Favorite song: LIVE AND LEARN - Crush 40
30: Favorite band: Depends on the type of music.
31: How I feel right now: Mildly Hyper, with nothing to do.
32: Someone I love: n/a
33: My current relationship status: Single
34: My relationship with my parents: Questionable
35: Favorite holiday: Christmas
36: Tattoos and piercing i have: n/a.
37: Tattoos and piercing i want: n/a
38: The reason I joined Fur Affinity: To Watch You, Sleeping, you look so innocent. XD jk! Actually to meet and keep up on friends.
39: Do I and my last ex hate each other?: There's no ex to speak of.
40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? No, but those would be a sweet way to start/end my day.
41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? No, but been kissed on the cheek by said person.
42: When did I last hold hands? I don't remember.
43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? If absurdly rushed, 5 minutes..
44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days? Is Dude.. so no.
45: Where am I right now? In Bedroom.
46: If I were drunk &; can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? My best friends.
47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? As loud as the people on the other side of the wall can tolerate.
48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? Yes :(
49: Am I excited for anything? Getting out to see people.
50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? Two actually.
51: How often do I wear a fake smile? All the time. Unless I give zero fucks.
52: When was the last time I hugged someone? Friday for certain. Not enough Hugs!
53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? n/a
54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? ... Well of course! But only because I don't think they trust me as much. Not because their malicious.
55: What is something I disliked about today? I wanted to get out to see friends, I ended up working in the field.
56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? .. Nobody honestly comes to mind right now.
57: What do I think about most? People.
58: What’s my strangest talent? Logistics.
59: Do I have any strange phobias? I don't like roller-coasters. But.. I want to!
60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? In Front. But I rather not be stopping for pictures.
61: What was the last lie I told? In reply to someones shooting my plans down: "Np."
62: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? Neither, Skype!
63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? Yes, and Yes. But most who claim witness are BS.
64: Do I believe in magic? In a young girls heart? Yes. No.
65: Do I believe in luck? Yes. But one person's bad-luck might be another's luck. It works in funny ways.
66: What's the weather like right now? TOO DAMN WARM AT 11 AT NIGHT.
67: What was the last book I've read? Jaina Proudmoore: Tides of War
68: Do I like the smell of gasoline? No.
69: Do I have any nicknames? Willis
70: What was the worst injury I've ever had? Bleeding from Varicose Vein.
71: Do I spend money or save it? If I had money to save, I'd be saving it.
72: Can I touch my nose with a tongue? No.
73: Is there anything pink in 10 feets from me? I guess not.
74: Favorite animal? Dog/Cat
75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM? Passing out.
76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is? Freggle
77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? Journey, Separate Ways.
78: How can you win my heart? Try.
79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? "I lived how I ate, Happy."
80: What is my favorite word? Chaos
81: My top 5 pages on Fur Affinity: Submissions, Journals, ... honestly that's about it.
82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? "Can we please stop with studies that even our great grandparents could have told us were good/bad/smart/stupid?"
83: Do I have any relatives in jail? I probably do.. I just don't know.
84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? Elemental Manipulation.
85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? Hard to answer, for some people I'd be willing to answer any question.
86: What is my current desktop picture? Guild Wars 2 Scenery. Needs updating though.
87: Had sex? Yep.
88: Bought condoms? Yep.
89: Gotten someone pregnant? Nope.
90: Failed a class? The same class, Twice.
91: Kissed a boy? Nope.
92: Kissed a girl? Yup..
93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? It's never come up.
94: Had job? Yep.
95: Left the house without my wallet? Yep
96: Bullied someone on the internet? Nope.
97: Had sex in public? Nope. Curious though.
98: Played on a sports team? Nope.
99: Smoked weed? Not directly. But hang out with many who do.
100: Did drugs? Nope.
101: Smoked cigarettes? Nope.
102: Drank alcohol? Yes
103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan? HELL NO.
104: Been overweight? IS overweight.
105: Been underweight? Probably Never.
106: Been to a wedding? Too Many.
107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? Not counting food/bathroom, my record is 20.
108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight? Best afternoons are chilling with friends doing just this.
109: Been outside my home country? Been to Canada. International waters to visit Hawaii.
110: Gotten my heart broken? Yes.
111: Been to a professional sports game? Yes.
112: Broken a bone? No.
113: Cut myself? Accidentally, nothing severe.
114: Been to prom? Yes.
115: Been in airplane? Yes.
116: Fly by helicopter? Umm.. I flew in one once, just as a ride, if that counts?
117: What concerts have I been to? None yet, my Bucket List!!!!!!
118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex? No.
119: Learned another language? None of which I remember, but German.
120: Wore make up? No.
121: Lost my virginity before I was 18? No.
122: Had oral sex? Yes.
123: Dyed my hair? No.
124: Voted in a presidential election? Yes.
125: Rode in an ambulance? Thank God No.
126: Had a surgery? Yes.
127: Met someone famous? Kirby Puckett when he was in his prime.
128: Stalked someone on a social network? No.
129: Peed outside? Just the other day.. lol.
130: Been fishing? Yes.
131: Helped with charity? Yes.
132: Been rejected by a crush? I thought that was the heart broken question from earlier? YES!!
133: Broken a mirror? I want to say yes.. I just don't remember.
134: What do I want for birthday? Not sharing, will be jinx'd. Will just go with Games and Cash.
135: How many kids do I want and what will be their names? 2-3, and don't know.
136: Was I named after anyone? ...I don't think so?
137: Do I like my handwriting? Yes, I have many styles its hard to duplicate.
138: What was my favorite toy as a child? My old Apple II computer.
139: Favorite TV Show? Right now its Doctor Who and Walking Dead.
140: Where do I want to live when older? Closer to friends, or to just somewhere private.
141: Play any musical instrument? Formally Piano.
142: One of my scars, how did I get it? Most recent scar is from the oven rack.
143: Favorite pizza topping? Pepperoni and Chicken.
144: Am I afraid of the dark? I miss that TV show... but nope!
145: Am I afraid of heights? In themselves no, but I distrust roofs, roller-coasters, having to ride up a tractor to trim trees, or anything that I don't feel stable at...
146: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? Yes.
147: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? See Relationships.
148: What I'm really bad at? Being Creative.
149: What my greatest achievements are? No Idea. And I like that too, I don't wanna be renown for something.
150: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me? That I'm greedy.
151: What I'd do if I won in a lottery? Home, Art, Trips, Help Friends.
152: What do I like about myself? I'm really good at thinking inventively, I can think up ways to fix a problem based on given resources.
153: My closest Fur Affinity friend. Seriously? Repeat? and !!
154: Something I fantasize about? How life would be if [insert event here] would have turned out differently.
155: Any question you'd like? This was a fun way to kill 2 hours, can we have more questions from the viewing audience?

He was not a furry, you won't know the name, but I need to share this in any way I can:

http://articles.baltimoresun.com/20.....-gene-kirchner

Gene was a good friend of mine for almost or maybe even more then seven years. I met him and almost a dozen others through World of Warcraft. It was our guild, it was our family. Gene was one of those guys who you could always count to be early, be ready, be on his best of game (even if he did suck at times), and had a way of not just learning on the fly, but rallying others to do the same. If you've ever been in a raiding environment where one mans personality and efforts could make a difference.. he was that guy. Our family took itself beyond the game, into our facebooks our instant messengers and our phones themselves.

Gene was someone who was more then "just doing his job". He loved being a volunteer firefighter. Sure he knew the risks but he loved throwing himself in harms way to help another. I'm hearing his voice in my head right now from all the times we spent chatting over Ventrilo. I don't know exactly what injuries he had, what happened that night in the fire, or what happened in the hospital that took him from us.. We all think 'it can never happen to someone *i* know'.. well let me tell you this: I've met so many of my WoW friends in real life, taking vacations just to see them for the very first time is the type of family we had and the type of person I am. Gene is the only one I'll never have that opportunity. I regret that so greatly right now.

Thank the people you know who live that life, who put others before them. Ask them how their doing and spend time catching up.

I'm probably just feeling whinny, but our local meets at a Perkins have for some time been less and less amusing. Maybe its just leaving conventions make them seem boring. Maybe its the food (granted anywhere else gets no food or more expensive).. Maybe its the space/noise. The new layout doesn't help much for that.

Its not the individuals, I enjoy surfing the crowd and catching up with everyone.. Playing card or board games. But something gotta change or ill be mixing it up. And I mean just staying home.

If you ever shared a conversation with me, you probably know (or will learn one day) that I often begin with my sentences in the following fashion:

"Hey... can I ask you something?"
"... can I share this thought with you?"
"... can you tell me if this is right or wrong?"

Or some other prefix with virtually no meat to the forthcoming conversation.

I was teased twice today, the first by my father and the later by my friends, that of course I can *insert prefix* speak! Why couldn't I? .. Now I get where their coming from, I wasn't taken aback by their responses, it sounds like I don't have much confidence in what I wanna share. The truth is no, I'm not asking for permission, rather confirming the attention before sharing. It's bluntly put: a bad habit forged out of my childhood!

Growing up with a lack of friends, and a surplus of age, the average person I interacted with from 6-16 was hands down 40-60 years older then I. My former neighbor/baby-sitter/best-friend just turned 91. When I was growing up I actually loved having spent time with my family, my father and his brothers. Just listening to their jokes and stories, watching them turn minutes into hours.

Unfortunately your faced with an interesting conundrum growing up like this.. see you adapt the maturity and mindsets of the people around you. As a 12 year old I probably had more worldly knowledge and maturity then one who is 18. Unfortunately those same adults failed to see me as anything beyond the 12 year old I was. Dismissing talking over or blatantly ignoring whenever I wanted to speak.

I learned quickly if I ever wanted to really be heard, I had to change my tactics. Gone were the fast forward into speaking my thoughts alone. Enter came the clever use of generic word fodder. Not only do people tend to not personally listen to the first 3-5 words you say (hear your voice, but not listening yet) but it also it approaches the situation with an edge of curiosity.

-The most blatant example could be planting a suggestion in someone to make them think it was their idea all along. Rather then make an observation or suggestion it was always wise to bring out a generic question and judge their responses before wasting breath on the real thoughts. If someone didn't care to listen why repeat it 4 times until their listening?



But in the world of today, I know I can just speak my mind, ask a question, or make a suggestion to certain people. They those people won't ignore me or dismiss me and I don't need to approach them self-defecating on my personality. Because I'm not, I know what I wanna say and I'll say it. But at times I still just wanna know your prepared for it. But other times its a noble habit that has become bad.

Not much to say, looking into Anime Detour next month (which I should have a better experience then last year the way things are looking).

Snow hasn't left yet as I'm sure most of the country still is suffering from, I normally wouldn't care but I have spring and summer plans and I need this snow GONE.

On that note I kinda wish to take a trip out of the city for a few days, I've had the house to myself for half the month but its been quiet empty and boring. Any suggestions?

.. Having just complete the campaign, Hard/Brutal the entire time, I'm honestly not impressed.

It doesn't feel or even play like a RTS most of the time, rather a RPG with a side element of RTS. The story felt too predictable and at times even boring (from the very beginning they wanted to make sure the zerg was removed from her, and yet cheer that she can still control them? Is that a conflict of interest? Random characters coming out of no where to reveal secrets.. yes how convient.

I'm happy that the characters stayed true to themselves, but the plot is lackluster, the missions are too easy and unbalanced. Derp I'll make a bunch of units, Derp I'll steal your units, Derp I win your dead... and no, I don't play zerg multiplayer if I did the campaign would become a joke. There's just no feel of bonding to HotS characters as there was WoL characters.

So, so sorry. That plague that's going around... I sneezed. Literally. Everyone I know has been, is, or probably will be sick soon enough. I'm only now starting to feel better after a solid week of coughing so hard my face could turn colors. Now much else has been going on unfortunately. Spent the afternoon doing some bathroom plumbing, the highlight of my month sad enough.

On a slightly less depressing note, I'm looking for work. Not short make a few bucks but if you know anyone hiring that needs someone with computer skills/data-entry skills, I'm interested. I know a lot of you guys are in the cities where I'm not, so that is a concern. But a nice opportunity is something I really could use, get me back on the market and maybe after a few months move.

My last post really wasn't worth lingering on and I'm not typing with my head all foggy.. but I won't delete it.

Been trying a few different games lately due to steam sale stealing all my money.. awesomenaughts has been entertaining. Might try fable 3 later.

2012 was a year of changes. I met some new friends, made some new habits, and maybe just blew it all away at the start of 2013. I love my friends, I try to do things with them all the time, and we've seen a lot of each other in the past month... I enjoyed that. It's hard to meet such synergistic companions. But I'm tired of ending my nights with excuses, hurt feelings, and someone else problems. I want to move forward, find a job, find a home, find a family.. and I need help doing so.. but I need honesty with everyone and I seen tonight how little I get.

To one in particular, I was angry because I knew something was going on. I could SEE IT, and I'm sorry for reacting that way. I can understand if you don't want to talk to me for a while... but if you came out and told me the FLAT TRUTH I would have been much more understanding. My emotions are a domino effect, you knock one off and there's a chain reaction forming. I wish it wasn't you who I butted heads with all the time, hell I hate acting like my father, you KNOW how much I hate my father.

To another in particular, I want to be over you, It's frustrating to sit here and for a change want to be angry, but I can't, that's how much i care about you. I'm sick of feeling for what will never be! But I still want you as my friend, and I want to do things with you like video games and movies and just spending time together. I know you don't have feelings for me,. I don't mean to put you in an uncomfortable situation. But talk to ME please. Not ask someone else for you. If I am your friend, I want that much of a trust that we can talk to each other about anything. our problems as well as our joys. if you rather use your phone, use it. If you rather talk in person, fine. But If you rather I just bum fuck leave you alone, SAY SO. I deserve that much.

I don't know where to go from here. I want things to get better, I want us to love each other again. I want to trust people again. I welcome those I spoke towards to FA note, text, skype, phone or whatever.. just be ready to listen as well as talk.

After returning home and dropping folk off I found myself talking to someone close to me. Lately poop has been on my mind and I haven't really been honest with my feelings over the situation. There are many layers of poop, and while I will never share the conversation as is, I will share but one layer of poop. The layer that is self reflecting, that I'm not happy with where I am, who I am. I want to break away from where I live, to leave the walls that I call my home. It wasn't until I woke this morning I came to accept that.

Raised in the middle of no where I was an outcast, I didn't have friends, I didn't know excitement or danger, never could be with other people my age or do stupid things. I've been trapped for 10 years longer then I should have been, in part because of the cards I've been dealt but more importantly I feel like there's nothing *HERE* for me. And I'm too cautious, too afraid of chance. I had a good thing going so why throw it away on a whim? .. What i got in return was: Sure i can come and go whenever I please, but go where? Do what? I don't drink, I don't smoke, I don't do drugs. I don't have the money to see movies or treat that special someone to dinner every night.

Hell I don't even have a special someone to take out. I'm trying to be a better person, the people around me make me want to be a better person. But it's hard. Hard to tell the good habits from the bad, hard to find a girl who can like what's at my center and not want it changed. In a town of what my friend had called, 'dead end'.

Those words are what rung in my ears. Now to those who might not know I'm talking about St. Cloud Minnesota. This is no small town, over 65 thousand people here. But is it a dead end for people like us? I think my friend is on to something. (and if I can indulge) this one is brilliant. Listening, Watching, knowing just what to say. Despite the crap I give (which is only because that's how I express happiness). I've never had a reason to doubt or question. *back on subject* I think my friend was making a fair point, growing up and living on the river I've come to love my environment, but when you consider it hasn't done much for me other then isolation, maybe a change I should embrace.

But I'm still afraid, the wind of change is my biggest fear. I don't want to be blown away from who I already care about. And it's a cold wind, after the time I spend trying to thaw myself out do I want to risk re-freezing? Yet that's why we call change a wind, to get what we need we have to risk what we want. I'm merely at my first of many steps, in accepting where I am and what I want to change. I may not get what I truthfully want in a life, for a relationship, but if they were meant to be they will be with me through whatever journey I should be taking.

To my friend, if reading, I must advise the opposite. You are already on your adventure, you have your quest. I know what you want, what you long for, and while I wish I could give more then words my advice to you is to stay true to yourself and don't embrace the wind yet. Don't rush into something and then ask 'now what' unsatisfied. Trust yourself, if it is to be it will stay with you until your ready.