I finally blocked a person here, for the first time. I've been on this site literally over 17 years, but it finally happened. A conservative troll that wanted to "have a discussion", went about as well as any "discussion" ever goes with a conservative. I thought it ended well when we "agreed to disagree", and talk about nothing political, except a week later they got a bug up their tailhole and decided to send me a bunch of stupid crap. Trying to put words in my mouth, trying to "gotcha" me with the whole SuperStraight idea, and trying to equate the entire "left" (myself included) to the crazy people who think stripping men of all rights and locking them in one-room huts is somehow going to "make the world a utopia".

These people really do think we live in a bubble, and can't see what they're up to. Multiple times, this person claimed I get 100% of my information from "left propaganda" sources that lie to me. As opposed to, say, just seeing words from Republican politicians from their own mouths. Seeing what letters they sign and announcements they make. Seeing what laws they pass targeted at oppressing LGBT people and especially trans people. That, or they somehow aren't paying attention to their own side, so wrapped up in the lies of their echo chambers that they truly think Republicans can do no wrong, and anyone who tries to tell them awful things happening are just "spreading lies and propaganda".

Or maybe this person was literally just a troll, and their entire behavior was simply a persona, crafted to appear innocent and naive so I would waste more time trying to educate them. Only for them to completely dismiss every single word of everything I say as a lie, or just not even read it at all and continue to claim I hold beliefs I already told them I did not. Who knows?

But what's really frustrating is that this is only one person. For some reason, I've been getting a BUNCH of these people, invading spaces and starting confrontations for no reason other than to be hateful. In the last week or two alone, I've had nothing but endless encounters, almost every single day. I don't get it, and frankly, I'm done putting up with it.

A person that joins a Discord server and starts with "I don't mind trans people, but I don't like it when they make it their entire personality." It's not my "entire personality", but I can't exactly have a discussion about those other parts when conservatives not only refuse to acknowledge that other parts of my personality exist, but are also advocating for my death because I'm trans. So sorry the "I think I have a right to exist" is being shoved in your face, maybe if you stopped making a fight about it and just let us live in peace, you wouldn't be confronted with my desire to not be murdered so much. Just a thought.

Another person on another server fires off a salvo of bigot garbage, so I avoid this person as much as I can. They push a confrontation over a remark I made, where I mentioned that JK Rowling's TERF and transphobe views make it so I can't really feel comfortable trying to get into Harry Potter. They ask for proof that she has transphobic views, but like all conservative "arguments", it was really a ploy to ask me to waste my time gathering evidence, so they can dismiss it as fake. Rowling's own tweets, from her own hands, are called "out of context" because there was that one time she said she doesn't hate ALL trans people. You know, that one "please don't lynch me" weaseling in the middle of her essay on "Why I'm campaigning against trans people being able to have rights". Surely that one single line outweighs all the times she calls trans women awful things and accuses us of only trying to enter womens' restrooms to assault cisgender women, and writes two novels where the villain is doing exactly that. Yes, clearly she's not actually hateful, and I'm imagining it. And when I tried to drop the argument and tell the server owner that I was upset, that I couldn't deal with it, I was told I was overreacting and said owner sat there and defended this bigot's lies. "You can't SAY that trans people don't molest kids, because there's gotta be at least one trans person who's done that! The presence of this one hypothetical individual invalidates your entire group!" Trying to explain that is an absurd argument gets ignored as "overreacting". Trying to use examples to show how ridiculous that is gets "Stop putting words in my mouth". Trying to tell this person what trans people are actually like gets ignored because "surely there's at least one horrible trans person, so you can't say 'zero' trans people are like this". So I left the server, unfriended and blocked that owner.

I'm just really frustrated and tired with these hateful idiots worming their way into my space to get in my face about their bigotry, and somehow saying I'm in the wrong when I refute their garbage. Well, I'm done playing chess with pigeons. I'm done trying to be kind and reach out to these idiots, just in case they're misguided and on the fence. I'm done playing along with their offers of a discussion, because every single time it's bad faith. Every, single, time.

If you're "conservative" and you want to "debate" me, DON'T. I've spoken with hundreds of you idiots over the decades, and you've only gotten worse and more hateful with every year. I will not be listening to the views of anyone who supports anti-trans legislation, who believes I deserve to be hauled out into the street and shot for being who I am. This is not a "political" stance. My existence is not a political debate. And I am sick and tired of evil monsters using "It's my political opinion!" as a shield to make their bigotry and lies somehow unassailable. I'm not even going to call you out on your bullshit, because conservatives don't care it's bullshit. Being bullshit is a feature, not a bug, because it takes zero effort to just come up with more bullshit and bury me in an endless stream. I'm just going to block you and move on with my life. I have yet to see a single conservative that was reachable. And you are not going to convince me that I shouldn't have the right to live.

Unlike conservatives, I won't wish death on people I disagree with, but I'm not going to waste my time reaching out to people who are only going to slap my hand away and call me slurs. I can't believe half this country got so mad over a dark-skinned President that they jumped whole-heartedly into hate and are trying to start a civil war because they want to murder the other half of their own country.

Yeah, so, I thought about doing an April Fool's joke, but it would've been lame and lazy, so I didn't do it. I was gonna joke about doing a reboot of my stories to be explicit porn, something along the lines of "I know this is what FurAffinity people want". But then it was like, yeah, that's the same joke that's been made hundreds of times by hundreds of people. So I didn't do it.

So, happy Vayryn day. Sadly, no Zhat Zhing arrived on my door. Ah well, maybe next year. ^_~

(Sorry, mom. I'm not doing porn. Even if I did, I wouldn't show it to you. ^_~ )

So, this is a subject I've been... kind of avoiding talking about, but I'm gonna need to talk about it sooner or later.

There's a major problem with superhero stories, such as "Exodimensional Hoofbun Flopsy", and that is that you can't not talk about police in them. Now, it's no secret that the settings of my stories are a little removed from the real world, and I mean beyond the magic and the mad science and such. Simply put, a lot of the things that make me feel sad and hopeless just don't exist in the stories. Trump never happened, the Republican party never went mask-off Evil, and the world generally follows how things were going when things seemed to be more hopeful. People are more accepting, more willing to help each other out, less inclined to be racist and bigoted and cruel and horrible. At least less inclined to be like that openly, reveling in it the way a pig rolls around in mud and feces, the way half the United States is doing in real life.

But the big problem with that is the portrayal of police forces. Even in more hopeful times, they were still pretty awful. "All Cops Are Bastards" is a phrase that has gained a lot of traction because it's become more visible what's happening, not because anything's actually changed. Now, if you ask me what it means, I have two main answers. First, there can be a "good person" who is a cop, but they cannot be a "good cop". The system will absolutely not allow it. A "Good cop", one who does the right thing and protects people and isn't racist, gets punished. They get financially penalized. They get sent into dangerous situations without backup. That's right, the Force will literally repeatedly threaten their life in a preventable way until they die, at which point they will use that death to talk about how "dangerous" their job is and demand even more money from state budgets so they can buy more weapons, as well as feed their own egos about what "brave heroes" they are while they don't have to face the danger they put the "Good cop" into. A "Good cop" highlights the disparity between what a cop should be and what they are. Second, "All Cops Are Bastards" refers to the fact that if you are in an encounter that involves the police, you absolutely CANNOT trust that this individual cop will be Not A Bastard. There are simply too many Bastards and the consequences too great to be able to put your life on the line and trust that the person with a badge and a gun won't decide to end your life over some trivial, perceived slight.

I'm white and appear male. I'm trans, but I generally hide that in public. The encounters I've had with police have gone "Pleasant but useless" in almost all cases, and that is purely due to luck on my appearance. As a child, I respected police officers. I swallowed the lie that high-profile incidents were isolated, caused by bad people who revealed themselves and then got removed from the force, from authority. But as more and more people had video cameras and were able to show the truth, as more and more stories kept piling up, I had to face the truth. It hurts, that betrayal of trust, but it's nothing compared to the people who have lost family members because of racist murderers in uniform who shield each other from justice.

One thing that I hear a lot in these discussions is, "It's just a few bad apples." You hear it said all the time by police unions, offices, defenders, etc. But the full saying is, "One bad apple spoils the whole bunch." One rotten apple will cause the entire bunch to rot, if not quickly removed, but this phrase is used to justify taking no steps to remove "bad apples". Bad Apples have worked their way to where they control everything, and a Good Person has only a few choices: Leave the Force, become rotten, or find themselves killed.

"Exodimensional Hoofbun Flopsy" is styled after comic books and Saturday Morning Cartoons (especially ones based on comic books, like Spider-Man and Batman). She beats up bad guys and lets police come get them. When I went to write an actual encounter, however, I found that I couldn't really bring myself to write one that went well, and still felt realistic. In fact, Chapter 7 had to be rewritten several times to keep it from being even darker. Originally, both officers were corrupt and only doing a "good cop, bad cop" routine to try to take advantage of Flopsy's confusion, but then I upgraded the "good cop" to Lieutenant Falk (a character I'd been planning on, though he wasn't a massive Columbo expy at first), which made me rewrite the scene.

I want to be able to do more storylines dealing with injustice perpetrated by the police in that story, but I also worry that it's something I won't have the experience to tell properly. I might try it anyway, I might never get around to it and simply focus on other things. Probably the latter, I worry that trying to introduce a character who would be central to the story might come across as offensive, when I don't have a wealth of experience to draw from. I don't want to appear to be making light of real problems, or to be taking advantage of actual suffering.

So, for the most part, the police in Flopsy's story are mostly going to be represented by Officer Blaine (a corrupt pile of trash who would kick a puppy if he thought it was somehow questioning his machismo) and Lieutenant Falk (a competent investigator who means well but won't be able to put the pieces together without the knowledge that magic is real). But most of the "mooks" are going to be closer to Blaine than Falk. Falk is the exception, Blaine is the rule.

(And if anyone doesn't get the joke, the actor who played Columbo was named Peter Falk. ^_^)

In light of things being better financially, I'm going to be going to MFF this year, assuming my health permits it. It's fairly close to me, and roommates are eager to go, so it seems like a good con to go to. So, who else is going? For me, the main point of a con is to meet people I only ever see online, after all.

It took far longer than I expected, but things are finally pulling through. The battle with the disability insurance company is finally over, a settlement has been reached. I can't discuss the actual terms of the settlement, but I'm finally able to pay people back what I borrowed. I am even able to put some into an investment account, meaning I'll get a little bit of extra income each month to supplement the Social Security disability I'm on. This takes things from "Barely scraping by, but juggling bills" to "Able to pay all bills, and have a little extra left over each month". Also, have some saved aside for emergencies and such. ^_^

Health-wise, things seem fairly stable, though I've been having some issues lately. I'm worried it's a slow decline, but it's too early to tell anything for sure. My medication's been changed a bit, in an attempt to eventually take me off of Prednisone (since long-term use of that leads to all sorts of problems, and I've been on it for about a year and a half now).

It's been a year since my last journal, so I figured an update was in order, especially since I now have something new to report. And it's nice to have good news for a change.

I haven't posted much about this on here, 'cause I figure it wouldn't be that interesting, but... Things haven't been going well for a while now. Back in November, I became ill with a mystery condition that caused me to be unable to work. (I tried returning to work in late December, only to make it about two hours before I collapsed and had to have 911 called.) It wasn't until February that we actually were able to track down a diagnosis.

At the time, I had believed that things would be worked out long before Anthrocon came around. The idea that I would still be struggling, and end up having to miss this year as well, was just impossible. But, well, here we are, and here I am. Today I splurged and got myself a slushie at the gas station for the first time in about a month. I feel guilty about spending the money on myself...

I don't expect many people to read this, and the few that might probably already know all this, but here's the long version of the story.

I had finally gotten a job as a Software Developer, so I had good health insurance, and also had opted for disability insurance. I never expected to actually need it, but accidents happen, right? So I figured, just in case, why not? Three months into the job, I end up disabled with a "one in a million" autoimmune/neurological condition out of nowhere. It doesn't have an actual treatment, just "Some patients with this have responded to this treatment in the past". Disability insurance paid for about one month, ending December 20th, claiming I can totally work after that. I appealed that in February, once we got the diagnosis, since now I could point to something and say, "No, really, I do have something that really exists."

I had thought it would be pretty open and shut, no room for denial. I mean, I had tons of documentation, tons of doctors who saw me and agreed that something was wrong, but they just couldn't figure out what, and then here's one that actually had it figured out. But no, somehow they managed to deny the appeal, claiming that my condition isn't disabling. Of course, it took them nearly two months to get around to telling me this.

So, in April, I was officially discharged from my job, since I'd been gone five months already and was projected to need 6-12 more months to possibly recover. So I also lost my health insurance. But it was okay, because any day now I'd get the disability money I'm owed, right? Nope... Mind you, I haven't had ANY income since December. The only reason I'm not homeless is because of EXTREMELY generous friends and family.

At this point, I've borrowed over $9000. Now, when I DO get the money out of the disability insurance company, I'll have that covered and more (My benefits from them are just under $1000/week, and will be owed from December on, so at this point it's over $30,000 that they will owe.) but it's still very depressing, and very stressful.

So far, pretty much nothing has worked out in my favor. A couple things have, but not much.
- When I lost the health insurance I had through work, I was able to get on Medicaid, so I'm still able to see doctors and get treatments and medicines. I'm even being set up for a wheelchair, but paperwork and other delays are the only reason I haven't gotten it yet. As far as I know, everything's taken care of, just waiting to hear back on that.
- The last two months, we were able to get rent assistance from places in town, which cut down a bit of what we had to borrow (We were able to get $500 and $400, for May and June). Sadly, that's no longer an option, since each of them only provides assistance once per year.
- We were able to get assistance with the utilities bill, basically being forgiven around $1300 worth of bills. When everything started hitting the fan, utilities were a bill that got put off, because "it can wait", "we'll have money by the time we need to catch up on that", and the fact that during the winter, they don't cut off utilities because of how cold it is... We kinda didn't pay a single bill from when we moved in in October until they were going to cut us off in Spring...

Recently, I tried applying for unemployment when I was discharged, as work specifically suggested it and said they would not contest any claims. After two months of jumping through hoops, filling out paperwork, filling out the SAME paperwork multiple times, and everything else, I ended up denied. After appealing the denial, I was again denied, so after two months, I have zero dollars to show for it. On the plus side, perhaps the letter from the judge that says I'm denied because "suitable employment does not exist for someone of my restrictions" will help my case against the disability insurance people. (For a while, I was classified as "able to work from home" as my condition seemed to have improved. However, I've since been put back on "completely disabled" status after collapsing and being hospitalized again. While I was "able to work", I did apply for positions and attempt to find work, so I wasn't trying to "cheat" the system or anything.)

Which brings up other good news: I finally was able to get in touch with a lawyer that actually handles this type of case. (The first two I found and tried don't. One handles contract breaches, and the other represents companies when employees file fraudulent claims.) I've submitted my denial letters, and he'll look them over and decide if he'll take the case, and if so, set up a meeting some time next week. With his help, I should have no problems, though I likely won't be able to see anything come out of it until late August / early September.

I've called our landlord, trying to see if we can switch apartments to something smaller/cheaper before our lease is up, but haven't gotten a call back on that yet. It's something we honestly should've done ages ago, but it's always been "just one more month and we'll be in the clear". We're hoping that with only two months left on the lease, he'll be willing to work with us, but we don't know. If he is, it would be a huge help, since the apartment we ended up getting is a bit on the expensive side. When I was working, it was more than affordable, but when I literally have had zero income for seven months now, it makes things very difficult.

So, basically, it's been a constant struggle to remain not homeless. I'll still have to borrow a bit longer, which I hate doing, especially since I'm extremely worried about how long before the incredible generosity I've been shown (far more than I ever expected) will run out. Whenever one plan falls through, all I can do is make another and follow it.
[C] Tax returns - We used these to cover a month and a half of rent earlier this year.
[C] Retirement Fund - I had started a 401(k) when I started the job, and ended up cashing out the balance in it. There wasn't much, especially after all the fees for an early withdrawal, but it still helped out a bit.
[C] Assistance Programs - These helped, so they're "Completed" instead of "Failed", but we've unfortunately tapped out everything that's available that we qualify for. So it's also not "Pending" anymore.
[X] Unemployment - While I've put in a second appeal, trying to at least get paid for the weeks where I was available and seeking work, I don't expect the judge to change his decision, so I highly doubt I'll see anything out of this one.
[X] Working - As I said, I did try to return to work as soon as I could, and did try to get a new job when I was able, but neither went well and, unfortunately, I'm not in a condition where I'm able to. So this is marked as "failed", at least for the time being.
[P] Disability insurance - The Big One. It's not "dead" since I still expect to be able to win this, though it HAS been delayed again and again. Assuming a meeting with the lawyer next week, and that they'll take the full 45 days to process the appeal, I won't be able to get a payout until the end of August at the earliest.
[P] Student Loans - Roommates are going back to college this fall, taking out student loans in order to get living expenses. The down side is that they wouldn't arrive until a couple weeks after classes start, which is September 2nd.
[P] Social Security Disability Income - The application process for this was started back in April, and they only just recently sent the paperwork to start the determination. I've filled it out and sent it back, so now it's back to waiting on them. I've heard horror stories of it taking as long as two years to go through, but the people who helped me with the initial application said it's closer to six months... Hopefully not six months from now, though. No idea how much I'll get, or when I'll get it, but I'm sure I eventually will.

The worst part about the whole situation is that if it weren't for me, my roommates wouldn't be in this mess. The plan at the start is that I would work, and my roommates would go back to college in order to get their degrees. As well as have time to get back on their feet, get any debts paid off, that sort of thing. My job paid enough that I would cover rent and bills for the apartment, so they wouldn't need to try to juggle both work and school, and could focus on their studies. Then I got sick, so now they're stuck here with me... Sure, logically I shouldn't blame myself, but I'm basically a walking ball of guilt, no matter what... Even though the social workers I've been sent to, as well as the therapist I got set up with, all agree that I'm "really on the ball" and "it's very impressive what I've been able to do", I still feel like I've messed up, that I can and must do more somehow. I probably won't be satisfied until I can keep my promise, until I can get some form of income. Not to mention the fact that I have a lot of people who I need to pay back somehow... And the fact that I'm going to have to add more to that before it's over only makes everything worse.

Back in February, I had mentioned that "If things haven't worked out by Anthrocon, I'll have too much on my mind to worry about the con." And that is true. But it's still depressing to have it come true. I had been planning to go, since I missed the last three, but life has been a long, long line of things intent on kicking me while I'm down. There are lights at the end of the tunnel again, but hopefully they won't be oncoming trains like the rest were. I suppose there's nothing to do but see...

Anyway, enough of my rambling and ranting. If you read all this, thank you. If not, well, thank you anyway.

I don't normally bring it up a lot, but you probably know I'm transgender, male-to-female. But there's a truth that I've been wrestling with, something I haven't been able to put into words until today.

I'm actually... double-transgender. The woman I am inside is actually a man trapped in a woman's body.

It's a long, hard road ahead of me. Even after hormones and surgery, I'll only be half-way there. Options are slim enough for MtF, but they're even slimmer for FtM.

I don't expect most people to understand my struggle, it's a lot to ask. All I ask is that you be supportive of me through my struggle to get to the right body.

Edit: Yes, this is an April Fool's Joke. I thought about going Full Tumblr Mode, ranting about how "single-trans" people are "privileged", but I just can't channel that level of crazy too well. ^_^;;

Okay, so I kinda haven't posted for... quite some time, but that's okay. Ironically, I'm replacing a post in which I talk about changing my icon to a bunny... to mention that I'm changing it again (after having changed it back to skunk for a while) to another bunny pic.

...What can I say? ^_^

This time, the pic it's from is in my gallery, drawn by  CatmonkShiro.

...Well, hardly new, I've had it for a couple weeks now. I just feel bad for not having made any mention or given credit yet. ^_^;;

It comes from this image, done by the always-wonderful  sontock. The full view is mature for nudity, though. (How do you expect me to put on clothes with paws like these? ^_~ )

Anyway, click link, see pic, enjoy, check out her gallery if you like. ^_^

Stolen from a few people now...
 rufellen ,  sqrl , and  elirat

1. Tell you something I'll learn about you by looking at your FA page for 13 seconds.
2. Tell you which color you remind me of.
3. Tell you my first memory of you.
4. Tell you what Pokemon you remind me of.
5. Ask you something I've always wondered about you, and your answer has to be as vague as possible to keep the suspense.
6. Tell you my favorite thing about you.
7. Give you a weird nickname
8. Tell you what's on my shirt right now.
9. Challenge you to post this on your journal.

I saw a screencap of the journal post and was only able to wade through a quarter of it before I got bored of the comments repeating themselves.

There's an easy way to not have to worry about this Tyra Banks show: Have some TACT.

WARNING: THE RANT APPROACHES WITH HIGH SPEED. NO REFUGE.

If I had one, ONE complaint about the fandom, it would be the complete and utter lack of tact displayed by nearly every fur I've met. Get a group of furs together to meet at the mall, and (with some exceptions) they will think nothing of talking loudly about dildos, sex, porn, etc. They will think it's "funny" to try to "squick the mundanes" by intentionally doing things to call attention to themselves and make them seem even further from "normal" than they already are. I stopped going to furry gatherings when I watched the rest of the group get kicked out for HOWLING LOUDLY despite being asked to stop, and then bitch that they got kicked out.

Much like the Camp Gay over-the-top stereotypical homosexual who decides he's "out of the closet" now and wears pink triangle earrings, rainbow shirts that say "I KISS BOYS", and leather or rubber pants, furs who go out of their way to display their interests and shove it in peoples' faces are GOING to get a negative reaction. Not because they're furs, but because they're being confrontational about it, and not respecting the boundaries of others.

If you make it so the first impression someone gets of you is "I'M A FUR!" and little else, and all they know is "furs = perverts", then they're gonna treat you that way. If their first impression is "I'm a fairly normal person, though I have my own quirks and personality just like everyone else" and eventually down the line find out "Yeah, I'm a fur. So?" then they're going to question that "furs = perverts" thing as long as you've been a counterexample. Their thought will be "I know they say all furs are perverts on TV, but this guy's been pretty cool... Maybe I should ask him what the deal is?"

Bear in mind, to the "normal" person, an interest in cartoon animals is fine for a kid. We're expected not to be interested once we grow up. Pretty much no matter what, they're going to think it's weird. But each one of us has the ability to control whether that weirdness defines us, or is within "acceptable" levels. Everyone's a little weird, after all. We can change the impression from "creepy man-baby wanting to hump animals" to "different strokes for different folks, I guess".

All it takes is tact, self-confidence, and respect for others. Each one of us is capable of this. It's not rocket science, it's not impossible. And anyone who wants to make some kind of "lol crazy furries are socially maladjusted misshapen sub-human rejects" joke is selling themselves and everyone else short. But then, it's easier to give up, to tell yourself it can't be done, rather than actually put forth the effort to improve and become a better person over time, and tear down anyone who disagrees with you and threatens to prove you wrong...

So yeah, I've been playing a lot of "The World Ends With You" lately, again. And I don't have the skill to pull off anything better than this. ^_^ (Such as even repairing the damage done when saved as a gif.)

Ah well, I like it. If it wouldn't make the text unreadable, I'd be tempted to add in something like, "Please configure your Game server to allow Proxy connections." for the humor value, but that's just stretching the joke too far anyway.

(Bear with me, this is mostly so I can reference it on a picture, http://www.furaffinity.net/view/1385030/ )

And now, the lyrics to "Look Both Ways", by KOMPRESSOR. From the album "Crush Television".
_____

Look both ways before crossing the street. Is advice, you cannot beat.
Kompressor friend is now deceased. Did not look both ways before crossing the street!

Push the button to cross the street. Wait till the sign says walk.
If you cannot read the words, the flashing red says you should stop.

Look left and right, then left again or you will end up in trouble.
You will be hit by speeding car and scraped off the road with shovel.

Look both ways before crossing the street. Is advice, you cannot beat.
Kompressor friend is now deceased. Did not look both ways before crossing the street!

Kompressor friend does not pay attention, does not use crosswalk and night.
Walks across a busy road, there is no crossing light.
He does not look to the left again, and suddenly runs out of luck.
He does notice an oncoming driver, he is run over by pick-up truck!

Look both ways before crossing the street. Is advice, you cannot beat.
Kompressor friend is now deceased. Did not look both ways before crossing the street!
Did not look both ways before crossing the street!
Did not look both ways before crossing the street!

Look both ways before crossing the street!
Look both ways!

I've been meaning to do this for a week or so, but... eh. Stuff happens.

Now, I'm going to gush about "The World Ends With You", on the DS. Lots of fun. Play it and play it now.

What? You want to know more before you'll play? Fine, sheesh.

While it is made by Square-Enix, it's a new game rather than a sequel or rehash of spinoff.

The battle system is not only unique, but well-made and a lot of fun. You and your partner share HP, while you fight on the bottom screen and they fight on the top. You use the stylus for your attacks. In order to have attacks to use, you must equip Pins, each one allowing you to use a different psychic power (Such as Pyrokinesis to create flames by dragging the stylus, or Telekinesis to fling objects like signs and cars, or energy bullets by tapping the screen... There's a lot to choose from.)

Your pins gain experience and level up, and can sometimes evolve. They gain PP (Pin Points) for battling (Which can be increased by your rank in combat, based on time spent, damage taken, etc), for "mingling" (which is like Nintendogs' "bark mode", only you get XP for someone using theire DS in wireless mode for ANY game, and can even get some randomly in case you don't know anyone with a DS), and for not playing ("Shutdown PP" accumulates for up to a week between playing). Each of the three types of XP is tracked differently, as different pins need different types to evolve. Not only that, but each pin has a second set of stats used for the minigame, "Tin Pin Slammer" (which is another way to get Mingle PP).

Your partner attacks by using the D-pad (or ABXY buttons for lefties), following the arrows to do combos. The end of each combo path ends in a symbol, and reaching the correct symbols enough times allows you to do a Fusion Attack, which hits all enemies for a good amount and restores a little HP. (No penalty for the "wrong" symbols, other than it's longer before you can do the Fusion Attack again.) You can set the partner to fight automatically, as well. And it usually does a good job.

The enemies are a rather nice style of artwork. The "Noise", which are sorta like demons that can influence emotions towards the negative, and are also drawn towards negative emotions, look like different animals with parts of them being made up by tribal-looking tattoos. (One is a huge bear-thing with tattoos for arms and claws, for example.)

The story takes place in the Shibuya shopping district in Japan. You wake up with (dun dun DUNNN...) AMNESIA! Cliché, I know, but it works pretty well. And he'll snap out of it before too long. However, nobody seems to even notice you exist, as you find yourself in the middle of something called the "Reaper's Game", fighting for survival with a partner, doing missions and erase Noise to keep from getting erased yourself. That's where the pins come in, as you're helpless without them. Non-psychic attacks are useless against Noise, so you just don't have any. Too much more about the story would be heading straight into Spoileropolis (Population: Aeris Dies), so I'll refrain.

You also get equipment, clothes you can wear to increase defense, attack, and other similar abilities. Clothes, of course, have different brands. Pins have brands, as well. Each brand is ranked on popularity (This is a gigantic shopping center, after all) for each area, and the most popular brands get bonuses. The least popular brand gets a penalty. As you fight, the stuff you wear goes up in popularity, as well.

Not only can you equip items to raise your stats, you can also eat food. Eating food gives you a bonus while it's being digested, with a permanent boost once it's all gone. Pretty interesting mechanic...

Anyway, if there's anything else you need to know to be convinced to play this game, then you need to be checked for a pulse. ^_~

C'mon, would I really let you down?

Yeah, I finally uploaded an avatar... After only two years... ^_^;;

(PS: Holy crap! Comments Given: 666! )

Not that anyone would ever read this, of course...

1) The Great Cave Offensive in my pants -- Err, I just don't know what to say on that one .
2) The Poker Game in my pants -- This might not be the real name of the song, but it was descriptive. And now, it works. Especially the part about the one-eyed guy...
3) Invincible Lollipop in my pants -- ...I don't know if I can ever look at Kirby the same way again...
4) Witch Hunting in my pants -- Nope, none here!
5) Innocence in my pants -- Not after THIS meme!
6) Better Metal Snake in my pants -- Cyborg bits?
7) Fist of Fear in my pants -- It just keeps getting worse...
8) Attack and Release in my pants -- Oh, come on!
9) Wild Thing in my pants -- Forget Kirby, I'll never look at my PLAYLIST the same way again!
10) Kompressor Want To Get With You in my pants -- Yeah, you know, this was the first one I thought of... I was almost afraid it wouldn't come up.
11) She's Too Fat For Me in my pants -- DO NOT WANT, I guess.
12) A Little Palpitation in my pants -- ...That makes this DO WANT, I suppose.
13) Unlawful Temptation in my pants -- She said she was 18, I swear!
14) Womb With A View in my pants -- I call a do-over, come on!
15) Big Blue in my pants -- When it's been a while...

Hm... Been seeing a few memes around, basically stuff about me describing myself...

Are you guys (the few of you that watch this) at all interested in me filling any of them out? And if so, any in particular?

I was posting this to another journal where  drakefenwick was asking about DS games to play OTHER than Pokemon, and figured, hey, since it was such a long list, might as well post it here, too.

If you have a DS and are looking for something to pick up, check these out. You'll be doing yourself a favor.

Lunar Knights - Konami Action/RPG that ISN'T another Metroidvania, but just as good! Somehow, they got the Boktai license from Capcom, but it doesn't have a solar sensor. You CAN insert one of the Boktai games into the GBA slot, and you'll get some bonus stuff based on that one, which is nifty.

Scurge: Hive - $10 new! It's a GBA game that's ported to the DS, so it's not as flashy as most other DS games, but it's still a lot of fun. You expect it to be a bad rip-off of Metroid Fusion (GBA), but it turns out to be a pretty good rip-off of Fusion instead. Besides, the world needs more isometric action goodness.

Phoenix Wright - The third game comes to the States soon, and the first two are pure win. If only so you can laugh your tail off at the Phoenix Wrong animations out there.

Picross - Been playing the European version for a month now, I'm about 85% of the way through the 360 puzzles it comes with, and haven't even touched the ones you can download over WFC yet...

Elite Beat Agents - Play as a group of well-dressed men that dance to cheer people up! ...Okay, let me try that again. Tap circles in time with the beat to dance well, so you can motivate people to do their best and solve their problems! ...Okay, one more time. It's hard to explain, but insanely fun. The stories are hilarious, but game-play wise, it's like DDR for the DS. Only instead of arrows, you're hitting circles that appear all over the screen in sequence. If you like this one, pick up Ouendan 1 + 2 in Japan. EBA is a remake of Ouendan 1, but since they changed all the songs and stories and everything, it's not like you can really call them the same game...

Etrian Odyssey - Old-school style dungeon crawler. I'm talking the grid-based, first-person view, taking 90-degree turns, and drawing your own map by hand kind of game. Like when you went underground in the first few Ultima games, but much nicer-looking. You actually WILL be drawing your own map, just on the touch screen, where you can even add in your own notes and such. Make a party of five adventurers and descend into the underground forest labyrinth (I'm not making this up... somehow, there's huge trees underground, even when you go down a floor.) and watch out for the FOEs.

Izuna: Legend of the Unemployed Ninja - Quirky humor, Rogue-like style gameplay, hours of fun for all. Izuna's very small ninja clan (consisting entirely of herself, her sister, her grandpa, and a manservant) come upon a small town, where Izuna accidentially angers the gods and gets the whole place cursed. So she has to fix the curses before she can get out of there. Each time you go into a dungeon, the layout changes randomly. If you die, you lose all items and equipment you have, as well as any money you are carrying on you. If you can hold on to the same equipment for a while, you'll build up Love for the item, and it will be more effective.

Mega Man Star Force - Just finished playing this one for about four hours when my internet died. If you've played Megaman Battle Netwok at all, well, this is more of that, basically. There's some weirdness, but gameplay-wise, the main difference is that battles are fought from a behind-your-shoulder view, you can't step forward, and you can lock-on to enemies to make sword attacks easier. I can't help but think there should be a drinking game for this one, though. (Whenever Omega-Xis says "FM-ians", take two drinks! Whenever he moves your arm, drink! Whenever he calls you "kid", drink!") ..But I don't drink anything but Pepsi, so it wouldn't really do anything...

Planet Puzzle League - If you liked Tetris Attack on the SNES, or Pokemon Puzzle Leage, or Panel de Pon, or any other name this exact same game's been released under, it's a no-brainer. Stylus controls are awesome. Wifi play is great. If you HAVEN'T played any of those other games, then think of it as Meteos turned sideways (you slide blocks left-right instead of up-down) and without the launching gimmick. They just disappear, but that means you can make chains and such, to drop garbage blocks on your opponents. Good stuff.

Trauma Center: Under the Knife - Surgery. With a Stylus. And the power to slow down time itself. By drawing a TOTALLY NOT SATANIC™ pentagram. (Sorry, VG Cats reference.) At first, you're doing semi-realistic surgeries like removing broken glass from muscles and sewing them back up, but then you'll have to do all sorts of fun stuff to stop the disease "GUILT" from killing people. I beat the game, but I can't even clear the first bonus case you get afterwards. >.<

Puzzle Quest - Bejeweled the RPG. Seriously. Fight monsters, cast spells, earn experience... all by matching colored gems. Good stuff, though. Hours of story mode.

Contact - Quirky action/rpg. Quirky in a good, almost Earthbound-ish way, though. You control Terry, whose stats level based on what you do. Run a lot and Agility goes up. Get beat up and HP and Defense rise. Kill farm animals or townsfolk and you lose Karma. While you control Terry, he has no idea you even exist. However, the Professor does, and will talk directly to you and ask you to do things for him. The Professor asks you to help Terry to help him, collecting the Power Cells he needs to repair his spaceship. Scores bonus points for references out of nowhere, like while in the army base area, the Professor will off-handedly comment "I wish a base like this belonged to us." ^_^

And the big bomb (in the good way)... Hoshigami: Running Blue Earth Remix. It's a Tatics-style game, much like Luminous Arc. It's actually a remake of a PS1 game. The main difference from other tatics games is that everything you do costs action points, and as long as you still have some left, you can keep going. So you can, for example, attack four times in one round. Or you can attack, take two steps, attack someone else. And so forth. If you don't use all your action points, your turn comes sooner. "Session attacks" are seriously weird, though. You start setting up your guys and putting them in an attack stance (lowers their defense, and if they're hit, they're knocked back into Defensive stance instead), and then you have someone shove a guy into one of your guys in Attack stance. If you do it right, your guys will start shoving them around down the line, and you can essentially mug them for items and such that way. Another bit of weirdness is that in order to cast spells, you have a coin that has the spell in it. Each coin has it's own MP that recharges over time. And you can engrave seals into the coins to level them up. ...I haven't gotten too far into that part yet, though. Hoshigami's been out for almost a month, though.

OKAY, that's all the ones I'm doing for now. *laughs* I can probably think of more if you need me to.

Just a heads-up, though. Hoshigami and Megaman Star Force both use copy protection, like Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass (J), just in case you're using a device of some kind. It's possible to patch them to work on cards like the DS-X, at least, since I've patched both of those games myself and played them perfectly fine. To be honest, my DS-X is more often being used to play homebrew games like DOOM and Lemmings anyway. (And before you R4 people want to flame me for my DS-X, I've been rather lucky, since it's worked 100% of the time unless I did something stupid myself, and that was easily fixed by correcting my mistake and not doing it again. I'm well aware of the problems others have been having.)

Since I can't draw anything, and haven't been writing any stories, I thought I'd just spill some thoughts that have been floating around in my head. Feel free to leave any comments and such.

So, the two main portable handheld gaming systems... The Nintendo DS and the Sony PSP. I personally own a DS. I've thought about getting a PSP, and probably would have one by now if I had the cash. I will try to be fair and unbiased, but I admit I do prefer the DS.

However, I'm a little confused. How does the PSP stick around? The DS is cheaper, the PSP's commercials are absolutely terrible ("Cluster bomb! Cluster bomb! CLUSTER BOMB! ...Cluster bomb."), and nearly everyone I've seen with a PSP cracks the firmware and pirate the games.

Granted, a lot of the DS games are quirky as heck. I never thought I'd say, with a straight face, stuff like "In this game, you play as a defense attorney and have to defend your clients in court. You can press testimony, present evidence, and raise objections." Or play things like Elite Beat Agents, or Cooking Mama, or Trauma Center: Under the Knife. (Puzzle Quest almost counts, but there's a PSP version as well.) But they're still fun as heck.

...to be honest, I forgot what I was trying to say while I was typing this. Mostly, I wanted to complain about the horrible PSP commercial with the two guys on the plane. GOD I hate that commercial...

Okay, I've managed to attract EIGHT watchers so far, with ZERO submissions and ZERO journals.

...Why are you people watching me? I'm not mad or anything, I'm just curious.

I can't draw anything beyond rudimentary stick figures. I never really write anything, either. I'm not a music composer, and many would say I have absolutely no appreciation for music anyway, considering the stuff I listen to...

I don't mind you guys watching me, I'm just a little curious as to why you chose to. And, to be honest, I feel a little bad I never give you guys anything. ^_^;;