I've actually started a YouTube channel, with two series that are ongoing right now!

I figured if anyone still follows me here, they should at least get to hear my voice and watch what I do.

The New Vegas series is http://www.youtube.com/playlist?lis.....LYW4TU7NyZuNSy

The Skyrim series is http://www.youtube.com/playlist?lis.....26kLr1wa-Hb8le

But neither FA or Weasyl will accept it >.<

Oh well, I at least have on to email to artists :3

YAY REFERENCE SHEETS! :D

Some of you might have noticed I updated a few things on the page.

It doesn't mean I'm fully back or anything. But it does mean my depression from before is over. My lovely  libbyb212 has made sure of that.

I'll be posting any new arts I get over here, as well as Weasyl. They'll mostly be Stray arts, and very likely lovey dovey pieces I get for me and my love.

So, the Cat is back, kids! If only, kinda-sorta.

I've been keeping appraised of what happens here, through my time off, and... Not liking what I see. Questionable hiring choices, general bullshittery... I'm now making it official, I'm dropping this site like a flaming potato in the middle of July.

You're find me on Weasyl, under my pen name and main fursona now, Stray Cat. I'll be working to fill it with old works as well as new ones.

So long, FA. You were a good start, now let's continue on to somewhere better.

The fandom, and the world, lost a delightful fur today, one that never got to join in earnest. One who meant very much to me. She died, from complications with lupus, tonight, on December 2nd.

I had brought her into the fandom. As a friend, then flirt.... then lover. When she fell ill, she knew she had little time left. She ended our relationship, to spare me the heartache. Which I suffered anyway, as I sat there, and watched her die, unable to help her.

I'm not speaking to anyone here, for a very long while. If at all. I may come in and out. But I ask you do not try to speak to me. I am in grieving. And don't know when I will recover.

What is it with me and trying to be dating recently broken up, and ultimately broken girls? I mean, I don't AIM for it, but I end up doing it anyways. And then I get attached, and then I get broken for it, and for what? To do it again?! WHAT AM I, FUCKING STUPID?! It's like fucking ice cream headache! Get it really bad, stop, let it go away, and then what do you do?! EAT MORE FUCKING ICE CREAM!!







Half of you know the semi recent one. This current one is at least CLOSER, but shit, if she isn't as damaged as the last one. And damn if she isn't a better match, either. I mean, GOOD FUCKING JOB, TOM. You go from one you flip the fuck out over, and then you go to an even BETTER girl, AND YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK TO DO WITH YOURSELF, DO YA? Can I EVER get this shit right?!





I called it a full year before I tried dating ANYONE after Katie. And now it's a briar patch of fuckups that are EASILY avoided, because I KEEP JUMPING TO GET BACK WHAT I LOST TOO FAST. At least I'm on speaking terms with this one, but goddamn if I can't stop pushing it. Do I hate myself THAT MUCH? Do I sabotage myself like this on PURPOSE?!





I just want to love again. I just want to look at the world, not with my deep wells of hate, but with love. And hope. And happiness. But no, I just MUST feed the deep pools of hate inside me. ONCE A SITH, ALWAYS A SITH, RIGHT?! RIGHT?!?!




Fuck it. If this ends like it did last time, I'm not trying again. Love is beyond me, if I can't get this right. My hatred shall be my only refuge.

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/5258600/  strawberryneko Still has slots open for icons! I KNOW, SURPRISED ME TOO! Go jump on the opportunity, they're great!

And speaking of spending money, I am open for writing commissions! I have no real qualms with the tame realm of SFW, but NSFW, keep it within tasteful ranges. My prices are down below!
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/5157863/

I will VERY soon be opening a new page, where ALL notes for commissions and such will go. Until then, comment on this journal, or note me here, if you plan on commissioning me! I have several works posted you can peruse, and will have more up soon!

For commissions of writing and such, look here! --->http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/5157863/

Okay, plug done, I want to say something.
I have been acting in an outragous behavior to a certain fuzzy. They have determined I cannot be trusted, and after what I did, I cannot blame them.
However, it's come to my attention they are taking the opportunity, as I cannot defend myself against it, to spread misinformation and sometimes, outright lies to people around them. Whether to justify the actions or make them look the better, it's their business, but I can't stand for my name being ruined with slander that I can't even defend or dispute.

So. Those of you who know this situation.
Ask me about it.

I will dispute or defend what I can, with what evidence I have available.

I cannot stand here and be slandered. My name, my balls, and my word are all I got.

Since the artist hates me, I won't be able to join the Floofpile 2.0 this time around.

Know what? I'm gonna start my OWN Floofpile! With blackjack and hookers!
In fact, forget the Floofpile!

https://www.furaffinity.net/view/11778250 LOOK HERE.  trinketsphinx's holding a fundraiser for a generous donation for the TESTING of breast cancer. Research is a worthy cause, but is being done by many already. Faster and more effective testing is a necessity as well!

https://www.furaffinity.net/view/11780030 She commissioned a mascot from  electrocat, who has offered 80% of all money used to buy a custom mascot, from all of you who buy one, to go directly to the cause!

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/11828428 This is the template used to make YOUR OWN custom mascots, complete with a ref sheet from  electrocat!


And the give-away is! Advertise about this fundraiser or the give-away and enter for a chance to win a free custom adoptable, specifically the second-in-command of the Battalion! Not just journals, either; update your facebook, tweet about it, chat on forums; if you can prove it, you get another ticket!

Personally, though, I don't need to be second in command: I'd be just as happy paying for my own, as it IS a very worthy cause, in my eyes.

What happened to the journal and arts you just put up?

Suffice it to say, I'm done. With this whole charade.

She wanted to fuck around, fresh off a long term relationship to nowhere. I wanted the exact opposite. Bad time, bad distance, bad attitudes from us both.

But now she hated me enough to go after the new guy. Just more reason for me to never care about either again.


If you have any idea who it is SHUT THE FUCK UP. No notes to either of us. If you perpetuate this, I swear to Gaia I will not HESITATE to end you. I want this up as a reminder to myself to never go through all this again. No hate to her, no hate to myself. God knows I hate myself enough as is.


Eventually, the names and the hateful facts will fade away for you. And for us, we'll be friends, at best. Tolerate each other to work on collabs, at worse. And that'll be all I need. Til then, fuck off.

It finally happened. It had nothing to do with me, but it happened. Me and my brother fought again, hand to hand.

He threw a punch in my face after giving me a shouldercheck just for passing him by. As he turned, I punched him in the side of the skull, knocking him down. Turned into a brawl and ground grapple after that. His anger had nothing to do with me, but I was the person he turned on.

I'm being sided with on the fight by our parents. His glasses broke in the tussle, my good hand is pretty messed up. Can barely use more than my thumb, index, and middle finger. Ring finger's pretty much immovable.
Tensions are cooled now, but he's pretty upset still.

Typing's pretty near impossible right now. So all commissions will have to wait til it heals. No idea when. I'll keep you fuzzies posted.

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/11876693/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/11876641/



Dude, me and  crazylikeafoxog have so much art from her! XD

As today has very quickly gone downhill, I will not be working today. I'm being interrupted left and right. The laptop I use for work has been commandeered by family, even. So, nothing today. I WILL however, work tomorrow on anything purchased in that time.

Okay, I thought hard and long about this. And I think I came up with a good list of prices.

Written Biographies, like I did with EC's character, will be $10. I think that's fair, with brainstorming and time taken to write it out.

Other stories, like short ones, or multiple chapters, will be handled differently. $1 per hundred words, and you can determine the word cap. Or, if you want a full freeform work, that'll have no limit, but you'll have updates regularly on request.
Keep in mind though, I do have another job, and some days I will have just gotten off from said job, and had nothing done at the time. I will let you know on those days however, and update you by the time I have done significant work.

There isn't much else I can think of that people would ask for, but always feel free to come to me with new ideas! I'm always willing to work them out with fairness!


Note me or post here -> http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/5155548/

Note me, post here as a comment, and I'll note you the paypal if you're interested!

I don't have a price plan in place as of yet, but I will tomorrow. I know what for sure some will be, but I'm going to try and plan for any request. Of course, I don't plan on being HOLY SHIT, DUDE YOU EXPENSIVE, as I DO have another job. But the extra money would be nice for other goals. My own laptop to actually write with, a few other things I won't mention as of yet....


I'm not a Tolkien or Rowling by ANY stretch, but it would be nice to have a chance to hone my writing skills. So, feel free to commission anything!

Where?!

I'm back again. Because it seems whenever things fall apart in my life, I drift back here.

Katie left me a year ago. Now she's dating a guy TWICE her age. And blaming me for the WHOLE breakup.
I tried my fucking best, man..... With a long distance relationship, there's issues inherent. Mine was apparently, I fought TOO hard to keep it together. I was TOO intense. Which, okay, fine, I'll give her that. But saying I flipped out over NOTHING?!
She dealt with TWO threats of rape, by SCHOOLMATES. Bastards getting handsy, and she even punched a guy for it. HOW AM I NOT SUPPOSED TO BE?

I don't even care anymore. I don't. Another failed relationship because "I'm too intense." Fine.

I need to do MORE rewrites now. Cause I left in her character because, for some APPARENTLY RETARDED REASON, I thought WE could get back together again. So, I need to erase all traces of Faviela. Because I'm not dealing with IP issues down the line. She doesn't even consider herself a furry, but I'm not giving her the opportunity.

I'm drinking regularly now. I have to now. Pain in my whole body at work, and pain from everything else, demands it. I don't mind. Better than popping more pain relievers than you're supposed to anyways, just to TRY and deal with the body pain, but it NEVER FUCKING HELPS. ONLY WITH THE HEADACHES THAT JUST SIT AND GNAW AT MY BRAIN.

So, there's probably gonna be some things that I won't add to the rewritten novel. Simply cause I'm writing a dark action/adventure, not a romance novel. For instance, an unused scene after the newly remade chapter 4. The actions in them are VERY heavily implied, but they won't be touched on.

This is where the break in hiatus comes in.

All of you, you sick pervs, will get to read the unused scenes on here when I have the chance to put them up.

And those ones may ACTUALLY have their own thumbnails! Should I figure out how the fuck to use them, that is. And get pictures that at least have SOMETHING to do with the scene.

Also, for the novel itself, I felt like giving cameos to people who struck my fancy, but I realized that's a little too much favoritism. So, if you're interested in a cameo with a minor character you've made, or maybe a major one, note me a description and what you'd like.
Fair warning: the characters in the current cast WILL be going through hell and back. This will not be a picnic. These cameo characters CAN and PROBABLY WILL come out of it with a few battle scars. DO NOT THINK I WILL BE NICE.

If you see the warning and still want to be a part of it, welcome aboard. If not, sorry, that's the way it goes.

As always, the full version will not be available until the full work is published. However, if you have a cameo in it, you will get to see the chapter in which you will appear, and work with me til the beginning and end of the cameo is to your liking.

More hiatus is coming! *is shot*

But seriously, if I come back, it'll be just to check on new posts and such. Notes won't be answered as frequently, and I will always be busy with work and the rewrite.

Oh, speaking of the rewrite!

I'm starting straight from scratch now. The storyline will be the same as this, but events will be different. As the premise isn't changing, the chapters up on this site will remain, as proof of copyright should someone else try to infringe. Also, a few characters will be changed. Cast number will still be the same. Which is a shit-ton.

Update on current (ha, couldn't keep a straight face) events is now done. You don't need to go home, but you can't stay here. GET!

Now resolved!

It used to only be 7.

Then I watched the entire series of Elfen Lied, which I had found by miraculous fluke.

Now it's 8.

.....The story hits so hard and true for me, guys....

Why do I keep getting out of bed every day? Why do I keep dragging on?

Nothing works out, nothing changes for me. It's the same shit every night, every day. Same depression, same brave face, same crushing disappointment. It never ends, no matter what I do.


I give up trying.



No, before any of you flip, I'm not contemplating suicide. That's not the way I will ever go out.

But maybe, death isn't as bad as we all think.

I recently got back into TOR, but my server, thanks to the free transfers, is now essentially dead.

So, I'm looking for a more populated one, to maybe roll a few new ones, or move my merc over. Any suggestions?

So, it's hay season, for those not knowing this.
And, as our fields are primarily hay, we have to move the ones we won't sell right away, or risk them getting ruined by the weather.
Yesterday, moved 400 50 pound bales into the barn. Some of them had to go to the upper loft.


Now, before the recant, I have to explain this barn, is pretty old. Parts of it are rotting away, and my brother nearly broke his ass (literally) when the floor under him gave out from one floor up. But as the structure is semi sound for now, we still use it til the funds for a new one are there.

Now, I was in the upper loft, stacking today. Overheating like crazy, with no breeze coming in. I was getting exhausted, and slowly more careless.
I fall over into an couple wooden supports that, before that exact moment, were solid enough to support my weight. Then they gave out.

Had there not been a platform behind me, I woulda prolly cracked my head open, worst case coma, best case paraplegic. At most right now, my ass is sore as hell, and the sudden stop messed up my back something bad.

So yeah, I'll be resting a couple days. Won't be talking much. Anywhere. Just FYI for those who talk to me regularly.