Happy new year, everybody. Working on finding some steady work, again, did a few art things over the holidays that I might put up. Mostly just life, y'know?
Anyway, not dead, and hopefully I'll have something up soonish

So I'm in Maryland, now (my man is in TX, so that sucks), and on the job hunt, so I haven't had a huge amount of time to devote to art, just yet. I'd like to get into a routine of having something to post at least once a week, so hopefully y'all can look forward to my art getting less amateur as time goes on.

So my pen's back, I'm drawing stuff again, and I finished up the last of my admittedly-overdue commissions, so I guess we're back to normal status. I hope to put out some more stuff, practice my art, maybe a few times a month, while I'm in school, and I'll go ahead and open up 2 slots for anybody wanting art drawn by yours truly.

Sadly, I lost my tablet pen in the move, so until I can find it, or get a new one, those waiting on commissions will have to wait longer. Sorry for any inconvenience.

Okay, so I've been having a hard time getting my creative juices flowing lately, so one of my friends suggested I try this:
Send me a note titled "Hybrid". On the note, just list any one animal. The first three species I get, I'll try and mix into some crazy hybrid. Be as specific as you want - even down to gender and color. Oh, and I will only count the first of any species, so if I get a bunch of people asking for a lion or a dragon, then that doesn't really work for the exercise.
I may do more than one of these, depending on how much of a response I get.

So, here's the scoop, for any of you wondering what the hell I'm up to.
Anxiously waiting for an acceptance letter from college(s), and, in the art world, I've realized that I need a ton of work on varying my characters. Ages, height, weight, everything. Now, the prologue for EON is basically done - I could only really throw up one more page, if I wanted to, and that would spoil the opening I have in mind for my first real issue. So, EON's on break while I learn to draw some more, work retail, and try to get into college. Still taking commissions, with my spare time, though - it'll give me money, and stuff to practice with, so don't be shy, I'm not that expensive! XD

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaand I think that's everything, for now. Hopefully, I'll have some new sketchies and what-not. Oh! And ME3 is coming out in like, 5 days! omgexcitedface!

Same location, new page! Hit refresh on your browser, if you can't see the awesome.

So, I'm now taking regular commissions. You can find the low-down on it here. I'm working on a better layout for that page, so it should look a bit nicer.

Hope everyone has a frabcious Christmas, and special thanks to those who've commissioned the sketches I've been doing. News is in the title, and I should have more art up over the weekend!

Just an update on the commissions I'm doing.

Art will feature one character, no background. $2 USD
I'll draw just about anything that doesn't involve liquid, so no goo, vore, money shots, urine, blood, or what-have-you. Anything else is up for discussion.
I do use PayPal, so I'll need an email address, as well as some kind of description or reference of the character I'll be drawing. I won't post anything until I receive payment.

IMPORTANT!
$2 Sketch deal ends 1/1/2012. Anyone with a pending sketch will still get theirs, but I won't be taking any new ones on. I'll put out another post with information about regular commissions, sketch/painting/etc. after that.

Think that's about it, so if you're interested, send me a note, and we'll get started!

That's right. With dwindling hours, and the holidays nearly upon us, comes the need to supplement my income. I'll open up some commission slots soon, and hopefully, my art will be worth buying.
I'll have a post with a sort of preview, as well as some more details, later.

Sorry, I haven't been keeping the comic going, lately. I have the next few pages roughed out, but they need some more work. Anyway, I've gotten a ton more hours at work, so I've either been tired, at work and tired, or dealing with family shit... and tired. I need sleep. More, when I get a chance.

Kiriban. What is this? What do you do with it? Anybody?

In case y'all haven't seen some of my new art, I have a tablet to mess around with, so I'll be posting stuff more often. I moved to Virginia, and the rest is history, for now. Might do some comissions, if I get good enough, or someone asks, but that's still in the future, a bit.

I really should be getting into my artwork, I've got a bunch of pieces on a back-burner until I get this health stuff sorted, which should be soon. So I haven't died, or anything, and the art will eventually come back.

So, I'm back home for the summer, and things seem to be going alright. Except that I apparently growl at people in my sleep. And before you say "oh, that's just snoring", let me clarify. My little brother got up for school (he's not out yet), and he wakes me up for something, right? Well, I get up, look at him funny, and then lay down again. He tries to wake me again and I freakin' growl at him. It's not the first time I've heard stories like this, and of course, I don't remember any of them happening -- but as long as I'm not hurting anyone, I don't really care.
I've been zoning out more, lately, too... not sure why yet. Weird thoughts keep coming back to me -- the ones that just don't quite feel like they are mine, or like they make no sense. But I'm dealing with it pretty well, I think... maybe. I may have another strange chapter to write about, soon.
But, all things considered, I get to hang with my old friends, and catch up, and stuff, which is awesome.
It'll be an interesting summer, methinks...

The field opened up before us, with so many places to go. It was difficult taking my first step away from the forest of nothing, but with Shadow by my side, I moved forward. I could see many destinations in the distance, but they weren't close enough to pick just one. So, I chose a direction, since there were no paths to lead me from point A to point B.
We set up camp that night, under the starry sky, and I made a fire with a wave of my hand. Shadow watched me closely after that, which made me angry, but he did not comment on my sudden display of power. I remember thinking, "I just want to enjoy the evening," and I didn't really care if he approved of my methods. The mood became sharp, and tense, by the time our visitor arrived. He was a smaller human, who was looking for company while he traveled.
Together, the Shadow, the monster, and the human had their evening meal. The human didn't ask what had happened to my arm, or to where I was headed, but made pleasant conversation, non-the-less. As if he didn't notice it at all... or perhaps he didn't understand it.
In the morning, we determined that we would travel together, and that we would go our separate ways when the time came. After traveling all day, the thought of leaving each others' company became less pleasant, but Shadow pulled me aside that night and spoke in private.

"Are you staying with this man?" He asked.
I shook my head. "I... I can't... I don't want to be the kind of person who puts his whole life aside to be with another person. So, when I leave, I leave. And that's all."
Shadow smirked a little and said, "You almost make it sound like you've a romantic interest in this guy."
I growled back in response. "I've no time to get attached to someone like that... and look at me..."
The beast nodded. "You seem fine to -- oh, you mean that."
"Yeah, this." I said, waving my claw in front of his face. "It... it's dangerous."
"You're not that dangerous, boy."
"Yes, I am!" I snapped. "Or... well... I can be... I think everybody can be. If we allow ourselves to be. My darkness is just more vivid than most. And he... he says things to me."
"He?" Shadow echoed.
"The other me... from the forest."
"Oh... him... I... didn't think it was the right time to ask. You seemed kinda shook up about it, at first."
I nodded, and looked Shadow in the eyes. It went unsaid that the other me had not come from the forest, but from myself alone, and neither one said what we were both thinking: if we weren't careful, I could change... into someone very... unpleasant.
"But, like you said, everyone has the capacity for such darkness." Shadow assured me. "And I'm here with you, too. I won't let anything happen to you, or our traveling companion. You have my word."
We returned to camp, to find the human asleep. Terrible thoughts began to fill my head... I would not sleep well that night... or for several nights following.

So, I'm just gonna jot down the first things that popped into my head while watching "Clash of the Titans" in 3D.

During the previews:
"God, 3D is gimmicky... I'd be just as happy, if not more so, with 2D."

Hades appears:
"Damn... wish I could do that."

Zeus birdrapes that one queen:
"Damn... wish I could do that."

Pegasus appears:
"Wow, that looks seamless... I want one ~<3"

Creepy desert dude:
"Because every party needs a mage for their epic quest."

Medusa appears:
"Lady Vasjh!"

Kraken appears:
"Oh, there's gonna be porn of him."

End of the movie:
"Yeah... the 3D was totally unnecessary."

It's been a long walk from the twilit beach. I can't hear the crashing waves, or feel the sea breeze against my skin. The darkness in my heart has grown dull and stagnant, turning gray.

Life is dead.

I wander the gray forest paths, with no real direction. Shadow has been forgotten, and my Father is not here to guide me.
"Maybe I can wake up soon." My voice whispers. The words echo through the air, but they never leave my lips.

Life is dead.

My eyes are open, my feet press on, with no real direction. The paths disappear, and I've grown weary, so I rest against the tree of tears. The tree has run dry, and withered. The tears will not come... but neither does anything else.

Life is dead.

The wind dies, and the colorless forest is silent. Before long, my darkness sinks into the gray, and I am trapped in nothingness. My eyes begin to close as I hear the voice again.
"Maybe I can wake up soon." It says. My eyes open, only to be met by the gray nothingness in that has swallowed me.

Life is --

A shadow... finally, a dark shade among the neutral nothingness. The gray becomes black, and the black becomes red, and the red becomes a smile. The smile becomes a snarl, and the snarl makes words.
"You disgust me." The Blood Wolf says. Red flows from his maw, and yellow frustration fills his eyes. The red touches me, and I can see where I end, and the gray begins again, at last.

Life is anger.

The blood becomes a face, the wolf becomes a man, the face is the man's, and the man is me. The Me smirks and pokes me. Me towers over me, and pours red onto me. The red becomes black again.
"Are you going to allow the world to neutralize you?" Me says, gesturing to the gray. "A hero's story is never read from a blank page."
The meaningless gray begins to darken and shift.

Life is purpose.

I find my feet among the shapeless underbrush of the gray world. I feel nothing -- not fear, not anger, not sorrow. I stare at Me, and he glares back. Me's claws pass through me, as if I were nothing. And then... the something I'd forgotten makes me someone again. The claws break the skin, the skin tears and bleeds, the black covers the wound.

Life is struggle.

I bear my fangs and fight against The Me. Locked in combat, we paint the gray red with our blood, giving the woods shape and depth. The trees cry tears of pain, tears of sorrow, tears of anger, tears of joy.

Life is pain.

The red finds the path out of the forest, my Shadow waiting for me on the other side. He whispers, "Maybe I can wake up soon." carried to my ears by the new wind.
Me laughs. "How will you find the light if you shut out the darkness?" He asks. "Light creates shadows. And anyway, without fight -- without conflict -- the story can't move forward. It becomes dead, and meaningless."
"But I never wanted the darkness..." I protest.
Soon, Shadow is at my side. He places his huge, familiar claws on my blackened shoulder. "Without the darkness, you have nothing to challenge you, and with no challenge, you never grow. Without the darkness, you have no reason to reach for the light."
"So, I'll never truly be free of it, then?" I ask.
"Probably not," Shadow answers. "but it will make you stronger if you bear it. Trust me."

Life is perseverance.

I open my eyes, looking at the gray forest behind me. It's just a mass of colorless gray. It has no darkness to give it definition. It has no lights to make it brighter and more beautiful. No colors to give it life.
We press on, the sun's light casting shadows across the fields of the heart. The Light lay far ahead, but as long as the page is stained with black, the story will always continue.

And the music plays.

We stand on the rocks, watching the sunset on the horizon reflect off the waves. The gulls cry, and the sea breeze blows through our hair.

The music plays.

"It'll all work out, y'know." He says. "Just you wait and see. I'll protect you."
His red mane and tail catch the wind and blow about the large gray mass as he stands, his powerful arms reaching the ground, steadying his large torso. His yellow eyes and wide mouth are expressionless, but I can see him smile. Behind him are marks where his powerful claws have broken bits off of the rocks along the shore.

And the music plays.

"I... I don't know." I reply. "I didn't... I mean... it wasn't suppose to be this way."
I gaze out at the waves crashing not so very far away. In them, I see my helplessness. My lack. As the ocean spray lands on my face, I'm reminded of just how far I've fallen. My body is stained black. My eyes have lost their familiar light.

And the music plays.

"Nothing worth doing is ever easy, or so you humans say." A large, gray hand rests on my shoulder, giving a gentle, reassuring squeeze. "So you messed up... doesn't mean it has to be over."
I gaze down at my chest and absently touch my own clawed hand to it. "But... where's my heart?" I ask. "What happened to it?"
The huge hands stretch forward into arms that wrap themselves around me, and he holds me close to him. "It's still there," he says, "It's just the darkness that makes it hard for you to find. Others can see it. Trust me."
We fall silent as the clouds turn from orange to blue...

And the music plays.

The night sets in, the moon is out, and we remain on the beach, Shadow's warm fur keeping the chill at bay. The moonlight illuminates my face and his. The light catches on his great tusks and horns.

And the music plays.

The veil of night lifts. My eyes open. The dark arms and red fur still holding me tight, as I watch the gray twilight melt into blue. His yellow eyes open, mimicking the very sunrise itself. No words are spoken as we watch the world wake up, and feel in my forgotten heart, the promise a new day brings.
"So... you ready to show them your heart?" Shadow asks.
I shake my head. "Not yet." I say, "Not until I'm good and ready." I glance down at my clawed, black hand and ponder. "I've got some things that need taken care of first."
Shadow nods and lifts me onto his powerful back. "How about we move forward, then? Take care of business, and then... we can show the whole world what we're made of."
I smile, and run my fingers through his huge mane, the red hairs almost glowing in the growing sunlight. "We're going to find the light that's in my heart." I say.
We head off down the beach, towards the sun...

And the music plays.

So much has happened lately, that my heart became lost in the dark... there was something in me that was missing. The dreams had turned to nightmares, the hopes had all failed. The songs that gave me hope became empty and meaningless.
Then I heard your song, and I felt it. Like a cool breeze from the sea, the sound of my heart swept by me on the wind, and was gone. But, I finally remembered it, for just that moment, and even the darkness inside had found some peace.
So I guess... I guess I'll step forward, onto that beach, and walk toward the sunset. My shadow will walk by my side, until the day we find our song, and our peace. Someday I'll be alive again.

Oi vey... or however you spell it in Yiddish...

Moving on... the clock has stopped. I was told to prepare, and the only thing that changed was that I've chosen my direction -- maybe that's what the clock was all about, anyway. I didn't understand what I was suppose to prepared for, but I think maybe it was just preparing for the usual storm to hit: the couple of days surrounding a full moon are like... idk, pretty crazy. I get more aggressive, territorial, and basically more physical in pretty much every way. Was talkin' to a guy the other day, and he said it sounded like a male "period" or whatever... hormones and shit. guys just don't have a vag to bleed from. idk if it's true, but at this point, it's as good an explanation as any.
Honestly, I don't like hiding from the moon, feeling like it's staring at me... but whatever, I'm a little off in the head, so sue me. Of course, it could be that the clock is still going, and will never stop, or that my time hasn't come yet -- it could be two moons from now, or three, or eighteen, idk. The important thing is that I've made it through one more, and that's a step in the right direction.

To any of you who have been reading the journals lately, I'm sorry if they worried you, or like, weirded you out, or anything like that. 'course, if you liked it, then I'm sorry to say that the beast in my heart seems to have no more words for me to write, just yet. But that at least means I can get back to important stuff... like these freakin' midterms... oi vey...

Since I've been doing a lot more writing than drawing lately, I'm thinking about moving all my stories/word-dump-maybe-poetry kinda stuff to a different account, just to simplify things...
Anyway, I was thinking about the weird words coming out of my head, and I was wondering if it was really poetry. Somebody said it could be, and I was wondering what exactly passes for poetry these days. Just out of curiosity.

There's a man in my heart who I haven't met. Maybe a man, maybe the beast.
He speaks the words I cannot understand, about the way the world is, and the way the world could be.
He shows me the things no one else sees, both horrible, and wonderful.
He makes me want, with whispering teeth at my ear, and claws wrenching my hunger to life.
He's everything I want to be, yet that want I want not.
He is, himself, the beast and man, the all-in-one, the me. The me that I must never find, and perhaps can never find, were I to try.
"Time is running very short" he whispers in my ear. He too, fears the moon, the midnight sun, the clock, and when it will strike. But perhaps "fear" is the wrong word, because the hunger stirs, the mind wanders, the darkness touches me in the night, and I scream and make silent noises in my mind, to try and drown it all out.
Yet we continue, he and I, unsure which me is me. He has my face, he has my eyes, and yet we look nothing alike.
It's almost time, the clock's near full, and we can only wait and see if the unknown event will come to pass, and change us forever... or we will sink back down into monotony. Time is short.

Another word dump.

I'm running out of time. The moon in the sky counts down to something... I know what it means, but I'm afraid to find out. If I'm wrong, then I'm safe, and the world swallows me up in its monotony and death. This is probably the case.
If... if I could, I would run. But if I ran, I would surely die. I don't have the skills or the power to live on in this world on my own terms -- the humans have seen to that. The rich want to stay that way, keep their power. I want to see them burn. To drink their blood, and taste their flesh, and see them squirm. I want to destroy everything this world has to offer; the cage of humanity is just too much to bear.
I have no claws to fight the oppression. I have no voice to pierce the night air. I have to escape everything... but I have nowhere to go. The face of the clock lights the world in cold light, and chases my mind through the forests of entangling humanism.