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Release day is here! My first novel, Gravitational Pull, is now available for purchase in eBook, paperback, and hardcover formats! It's an 18+ gay furry romance - you can check out an excerpt here! Beyond excited about this, and hope you enjoy it if you do end up picking it up.

~Ty

Yeah...I apologize for the massive art dump. I've gotten so much amazing art and I have not been diligent about uploading it all here! Hope you all enjoy :3

Got a reasonable backlog of art that I haven't gotten around to posting, but now that all of my outstanding commissions are finished up I'll be uploading a bunch of stuff this evening. Apologies in advance for spamming your notifications with random fox stuff!

At the request of several people and because I think it's a good idea myself, I'm going to be re-uploading a lot of commissioned art over the next couple of days. I think I'll leave the stories off for the time being; I may reconsider in the future.

~Ty

What's good people? I haven't posted a journal in months and the one that was up was a bit of a downer! Things are going fine on my end, can't complain :3

First off, Happy New Year everyone! Things were no doubt chaotic and depressing on a global scale in many ways (not without some positives, though!), but I hope that 2017 treated you well and that 2018 treats you even better! It's been quite a while since I posted a journal here (over three years, it would seem), so here goes.

I've spent most of the second half of this year trying to focus on the present and the future, but a new year gives us all a chance to reflect back on the past. For me, this was one of the worst years of my life. I can't discount the positives that have been sprinkled throughout, and things aren't looking quite so bleak now, but it's been an extremely difficult year. In short, the accumulated stress of many years of graduate school caught up with me and I saw no way forward. At the end of May, I tried to end my life. Some of you who watch me might have wondered where my gallery went - nuking it was one of the last things I did. I can say with certainty that had I not had the intervention of a good friend (for which I am extremely grateful), I would not be here right now to write this journal. I very nearly died.

Since then, I've been on medical leave from school and working on myself. I was in therapy before the attempt and had a lot of support, but it wasn't enough to counter the continual difficulties I faced on a daily basis. I needed a hard stop. It's had a big impact, and I'm very grateful to the psychiatric program I've been attending for allowing me to get the insight I needed to move forward. It's not perfect and it's a lot of work, but I'm in a much better place now than I was this time last year, and certainly better than I was in May. I'm set to return to school in about two weeks. While my future is hardly mapped out, I have a plan for the next few months at least, and I hope that I'll have a clearer sense of direction as the year unfolds. At the very least, I feel much better equipped to handle the tasks in front of me than I did before, and I hope that my progress along with the continued support of the program, my therapist, and my friends and family will get me through. I think it will.

I'm coming out and saying all of this for a few reasons. One, I think it's important for me to put all of this out there now that 2017 has finally ended. Two, I've been relatively quiet about my situation and I wanted to tell those who care about me the truth. Three, I want to impress upon anyone reading this that hope and help are out there. It's not weakness to ask for help when you need it; in fact, acknowledging that we are in need of assistance is one of the bravest things we can do. I can personally attest that 'grinning and bearing it' is not a life philosophy that leads to lasting success. Sometimes it is necessary to endure, but it cannot be the primary mode in which we live, or it will catch up with us. I can't say that it's easy to recognize that you need help, or that it's easy to find help even after you realize need it, but it is out there and you can find it. Also, in moments of great distress, suicide can seem like the only option. My attempt has greatly disrupted most of my close relationships, but I'm glad to have the opportunity to heal them. Had I not survived, I would have irreparably damaged many lives. It's not worth it. However, perhaps the greatest realization I've had in the past few months of recovery is that irreparably damaging my life also wasn't worth it. You can find a fulfilling reason to live, independent of the people around you (sometimes, in spite of the people around you). My reason is still taking shape, but I do believe it is out there. We can only define it for ourselves, and sometimes that definition needs to be tweaked or overhauled. It's OK if you don't know it yet. We are all works in progress; indeed, the only constant we can rely on is that nothing is constant. It's a difficult framework in which to live, but in another way, it's freeing to know that even the worst of circumstances are temporary.

Regarding my gallery and my writing, I don't plan on re-uploading my work and the commissions I've received. I'm open to the possibility of revisiting it in the future, but for right now, it's a no. I do still play the piano (and the cello, more occasionally) and may record and post something. Thank you all for supporting me and I wish you all the best moving forward.

Always,
Ty

For those of you celebrating, I hope you have a happy, safe, and restful holiday. Of course, I also hope you have a happy, safe, and restful not-holiday if you're not celebrating! All my love~

Arashi No Yoru Ni, or One Stormy Night, is a Japanese movie released in Japan in 2005 but hasn't found its way over to the States. In fact, while there is a (silly) English dub, no official subbed version has been released, and sadly I don't think we'll ever get more than fan subs. It does exist in a couple of versions on YouTube, and I highly recommend the subbed version to anyone who's a fan of animated films, cute anthropomorphic animals, and a touching story of friendship (basically all furries x3). I've been blabbing on about this movie a bunch to a couple of friends, so I figured it's probably best to just make a detailed commentary on why I like it so much.

I've watched it a couple of times now and it's one of those movies that's lingered with me long after the end credits rolled around. I suppose I'm kind of a sucker for mushy heartfelt movies, especially ones with talking animals; and...here I am on FurAffinity! That said, I think it's a remarkable film despite its presentation as a kids movie (most of the time...it has its gripping moments too), because its main focus is on an issue near and dear to me: male-male bonding. We live -- at least here in the States -- in a culture where there are established gender roles: men have to act like 'men' and women have to act like 'women', even at the expense of shutting down pieces of ourselves that go against the grain of what's expected. While I can't deny that the biological differences between males and females exist and create something of a divide between the genders, it's a very fuzzy distinction and almost everyone acts in 'feminine' and 'masculine' ways depending on the context. That's not hypocritical; it's being a human being.

In Arashi No Yoru Ni, the main focus of the story is the unlikely friendship between a wolf and a goat and the hardships they endure as a result. Gabu's wolf pack and Mei's herd both adamantly reject their relationship, thereby setting up the plot for a good portion of the movie. I'm not going to go into spoiler territory for those of you who might want to see it; suffice to say, it has many lighthearted and dark moments, but ultimately keeps you fully engaged throughout because the main characters are compelling and extremely likable. Getting back to the soapboxing of the previous paragraph, though, the two have a very close friendship, to the point where there is a significant amount of speculation as to whether Gabu and Mei are romantically involved or just close friends. I'll let you decide that for yourself. The writer of the books that inspired the film, though, deliberately left Mei's gender ambiguous in the books but always intended for both characters to be male, so take that as you will.

The point is, regardless of whether or not the mostly-subtle and infrequent suggestions that their love may be more than platonic, ultimately the movie is about their partnership together. They go through remarkable lengths for each other throughout the course of the story, many times at the risk of losing their lives. They love each other. Love is an emotion everyone has the capacity to experience in many different contexts aside from physical intimacy. So, even though I'm gay and wholeheartedly support the push for acceptance of homosexuality (and LGBTQ in general) in popular culture, I prefer to look at Gabu and Mei's relationship as a true friendship. In a way, the film is more groundbreaking in its attempt to flip our notions of gender roles, which it does in an extremely tasteful way. While I can see people not liking this movie for one reason or another, it's a hard film to hate, and that's a remarkable feat unto itself. It's sweet but not saccharine, intense but not overwhelming, cute but not pandering, and really just an enjoyable experience throughout.

If you've seen it, great! I hope you enjoyed it. If you haven't seen it and aren't turned off by the stuff I've described above, then go see it! There are many worse ways to spend 90 minutes of your time. The Fox and the Hound is probably the closest American analogue if you're looking for a comparison, but I think Arashi No Yoru Ni goes a bit further in exploring same-sex intimacy and that sets it apart from any other animated film I've seen.

~Ty

Go see this movie immediately. In fact, if you haven't seen it yet, go back in time so you can watch it a couple weeks ago, giving yourself ample time for multiple repeat viewings while it's still in theaters.

Yes, Rocket is adorable and awesome and that makes my inner furry go 'squee', but the whole thing is so entertaining on every level. I saw it last night and I already want to watch it again.

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bach bach bach bach bach bach bach bach bach bach bach bach bach bach bach bach bach bach bach bach bach bach bach bach bach
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You know, if mankind's purpose for existing was something akin to Douglas Adams' postulation in the The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy series - that is, that Earth is a giant, experimental computer designed by inter-dimensional beings to generate one person who realizes the Ultimate Question to the Ultimate Answer of Life, the Universe, and Everything - I believe a strong argument could be made that our purpose was to facilitate the existence of Bach. I become increasingly more attracted to this idea considering the trajectory we as a species appear to be following.

There's a reason why he's featured three times on the record sent out with the Voyager space probe.

Of course, I still love and revere dozens of other composers, but Bach's impact on the development of Western music cannot be understated.

Thoughts?

~Ty

Masters degree - get.

Next assignment - PhD!

~Ty

I'm finally home from what turned out to be the worst trip I've ever taken. What little I saw of Switzerland was beautiful; the experience of being in close quarters with my boss for 8 straight days was horrific.

I'm graduating on the 23rd, and then I'm off to bigger, brighter, and better things. I've lasted for two and a half years already; surely I can manage just a few more weeks...

I AM THE QUEEN OF FRANCE

Let them eat cake.

Hey everyone. I'm interested in getting a revamped reference sheet for Ty. I was getting tired of the way he looked so I changed his fur pattern some (Kyouti did a pair of really nice sketches for reference - I just posted it a little while ago). I've been doing some looking around but haven't had any luck so far. If anyone knows of artists taking commissions like this please let me know!

Thanks :3. Keep bein' awesome~

~Ty

So yeah, things and stuff:

- As you’ve probably seen on my page, I recently got an awesome commission from johis with Ty playing the cello. Her work is reasonably priced given its high quality and she’s super great to work with – basically I would recommend her to anyone looking for a non-yiffy commission, anthro or feral. It was an idea that was rolling around in my head for a very long time and the piece is very personal to me. Personal enough, in fact, that I’ve come to the resolution that I want to pick up the cello again. I’d like to hone my skills and get my technique back to where it was before (and hopefully beyond that), but also I want to start performing again. So, starting within the next month or so, I want to be recording and uploading a different solo cello piece weekly or biweekly. I can guarantee that it’s almost all going to be classical music and I don’t have the capability to create the necessary backing tracks for pieces that have piano/orchestral accompaniment. However, I’m going to be starting out by revisiting pieces I’ve played in the past, and after ~8 years of being an avid cellist I've played a nice variety of classical music. I hope people will enjoy it.

- On the writing front, I’m continuing to plod along with ‘Unnatural Tendencies’ and making progress slowly but surely. I’ve been stymied for a little while because I haven’t ironed out all of the plot details for the whole novel yet, but I’m close to reaching that point and expect the process to be easier as I move forward. However, I’ve also been considering diverting my attention towards some of my unfinished and unpolished work, namely: ‘The Closet’ (needs finishing) and ‘Corruption’ (needs an overhaul and perhaps a sequel). For those of you who read my stuff, I’d really appreciate some feedback on interest levels for each of these three options. My time and energy are limited, so I can only feasibly work on one project at a time. I continue to write (despite my low readership) because I enjoy writing, but the prospect of writing something people very much want to read would give me the huge boost in energy and motivation that would help me get my throughput higher. Since I can only feasibly work on one project at a time, if you could take the time to comment below and let me know whether you’d rather see more ‘Unnatural Tendencies,’ ‘The Closet,’ or ‘Corruption,’ that would be great. That said, I don’t plan on officially abandoning any of these in the long term.

- I’ve finally finished submitting all the materials for my graduate school applications and I’m very excited. Why I’m applying to grad programs again (for the third time, actually) is a long story, but basically I’m not happy after 2 years in my current PhD program, so in the spring I’m planning on defending my thesis and graduating with an M.S. With any luck, I’ll get into one or more of the programs I’ve applied to and I’ll start again next fall.

- Thanksgiving break was restful for the most part. It was hard to be in a celebratory mood on Thanksgiving Day because my grandfather was conspicuously absent from the dinner table (see previous journal), but I was glad to see my family after several months apart. Sadly, that day my grandmother on the other side of the family had a stroke and has been in the hospital for the past 5 days. Thanksgiving indeed. She seems to be stable now and is very aware and communicative, but she’s in significant pain still and she has little to no motor control on the left side of her body. She’s not out of the woods yet, but given her resiliency so far, we’re cautiously optimistic.

That’s about all for now. I hope that you all had a nice break (at least, those of you in the US) and that life is treating you well.

~Ty

"The way you wear your hat
The way your sip your tea
The memory of all that
No, no, they can't take that away from me

The way your smile just beams
The way you sing off key
The way you haunt my dreams
No, no, they can't take that away from me

We may never, never meet again
On the bumpy road to love
Still, I'll always, always keep the memory of

The way you hold your knife
The way we danced till three
The way you changed my life
No, no, they can't take that away from me
No, they can't take that away from me"

-Ira and George Gershwin

It's been a little over a month since my grandfather died. For a while, I thought I was handling it well - almost too well. He was such a strong influence in my life and yet we didn't get the chance to see each other very often because I live away from home, so it still felt like he was here to me. The grief is starting to catch up to me now, though. I've thought about him every day, and with each passing day I feel lonelier and lonelier. My paper was published a couple weeks ago - I wish he could have read it.

In other news, after a very long struggle that I'd rather not discuss here, I've decided to leave my program with a Master's, so I'll be graduating within the next two semesters. It's a little frustrating because I'll have to start all over again in another PhD program; however, with a graduate degree and two publications (I'm gathering data to start writing a second paper), I'll be well-positioned to get into my program of choice. I think. At the very least, I've found a direction, which is more than I had when I started here. It would have been nice to get my PhD here, but 10 years down the road I think I'll look on this decision favorably.

I miss AC. I had a blast this year, leg injury and finding out news about my grandfather aside, and I'm already psyched to go next year. It's a painfully long time to wait, though, but hopefully I'll be able to attend FurFright this year. Speaking of which...anyone going and have room space? :3

~Ty

My grandfather passed away this morning. I'm OK. I got to spend all day yesterday with him and my family, and that's all I could ever want.

~Ty

First, and most importantly, I had a real blast this year. It's been three long years since I've seen some of my closest friends, and I also had the opportunity to meet newer friends in person for the first time. My first three days in Pittsburgh were some of the happiest in recent memory and everything I'd hoped and wanted them to be.

Saturday, however, was the saddest day in recent memory. As many of you who were at the con already know, I found out that my grandfather is terminally ill and only has a few days left to live. He's been battling brain cancer for over two years - and winning! - but his body is just too weak now and succumbing to pneumonia. So, while this isn't a complete shock to me, it's devastating in light of his, my grandmother's, and my close family's extraordinary efforts to keep him healthy and as functional as possible. What makes it all the more devastating is that he has been 'with' us the entire time; that is, he's had no loss of cognitive capabilities, which for him are quite considerable. Even now, while he's too weak to eat, drink, or even stay awake, he's still very much with us.

It's too hard for me to talk about this at length here, but he has been and continues to be an inspiration to me. Many people in my family have been blessed with high intelligence, and the unspoken (and somewhat inaccurate, considering how amazing my grandmother is) belief in my family is that he is the progenitor. While his creativity and ingenuity are probably the greatest I've ever encountered, even more special is his complete lack of ego, his calm, kind nature, and his presence as the father of our family. He and my grandmother are truly soul-mates, and their beautiful relationship over 60+ years of marriage sets an example for everyone they know.

I'm going to cut myself short here. I could go on for pages and pages and pages about his strength of character and the important role he's played in my development, but these are words that needn't be shared here. He and my grandmother are like a second set of parents to me, and the inevitability of losing him now is tearing me apart inside.

However, the love and support all of you at the con gave me mean so, so much to me and helped me have an enjoyable time despite my heavy heart. Thank you all for being as awesome as you are and I can't wait until AC '14 when all of us get together again.

With love,
Ty

Just...AUGH. Someone, please make me not feel things anymore :c.

~Ty

How many times have you attended AC before?
Just once, AC '10.

Where are you staying?
The Doubletree, mostly.

What day are you getting there?
Wednesday sometime.

How are you traveling?
Plane. Weeeeeeee!

Who are you rooming with?
 Retna,  Tumalu,  Timber Th-M;  JagKitty W

Who will you hang out with during the convention?
Friends from VH, mostly.

How is the best way to find you?
I'll be around.

Are there any panels you might be attending?
Probably not? Not out of the question though.

What do you look like?
I think there's an old pic of me in my scraps folder. Roughly like that.

Will you be suiting?
I've got a tail that I'll be wearing occasionally, but otherwise no.

What is your gender?
Maaaaaaaale.

How tall are you?
5’8”

Can I talk to you?
Why not?

Can I touch you?
If I don't already know you from somewhere, no.

How can I find you?
Find one of them (^) and I'll likely be around, or turn up at some point.

Can I visit your room?
If you've been invited in.

Can I buy you drinks?
Umm...I may give you a suspicious look if you're a complete stranger to me, but I suppose so! Otherwise, by all means!

Are you nice?
Yep! Just not overly extroverted.

How long are you going?
Wednesday sometime to Monday sometime. I still have to book the flight.

Do you have an artist table?
Nope.

Will you be performing?
Nope.

If I see you, how should I get your attention?
"Ty" tends to work rather well. A wave and a smile are nice accents.

Where will you be most of the time during the day/s?
Hanging around with friends, wherever they may go.

What/where will you be eating?
No idea. Alcohol will be an important source of calories.

Can I come with you for food/fun/etc?
Why not?

Can I steal you away for [REDACTED]?
Umm...

Can I take your picture?
I generally don't like my picture being taken, but maybe.

What's your goal(s) for the con this year?
Have fun!

Sorry if this is kind of dry and grumpy-sounding - Radium's infecting my brainz at the moment. Stupid panther.

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As of midnight tonight, I am a day older than I was yesterday and 24 years older than when I was born. Good grief.

~Ty

...who loves coffee. coffee coffee coffee coffee <3 coffee coffee coffee coffee.

...to California! I just got here (Berkeley) a few hours ago, and I have to say, for my first time out on the West Coast, it's really nice! I could definitely get used to living here :3.

That said, I'm in for a grueling next two days: 2 back-to-back 8-hour shifts, followed by an 8-hour break, then another 8-hour shift. The first one is tonight at midnight x.x.

Anyways, haven't posted anything up here for a while and felt like giving people an update!

~Ty

A free Magic the Gathering tournament with art as the prize! sherrimayim and duskfall are doing a WebComic together and need to raise awareness of their comic, and just as important, the Kickstarter Project!

The tournament will be Standard Format so that includes sets Scars of Mirrodin, Mirrodin Besieged, New Phyrexia, Magic 2012, Innistrad and Dark Ascension. The tournament will be held over the program Cockatrice, and will Swiss Format with a cut to Top 4 or Top 8 depending on the amount of contenders.

This is a free to enter tournament, the only requirements is to post a link to our Kickstarter on your journal and post it with your reply on this journal. Also if you feel like donating please do so any little amount counts.

For further information please check out the Magic FAQ! (But ignore the parts about entry fee since its a free tournament)

The Tournament is going to start in 45 Days! Coinciding with the end day of our fundraiser. And EVERYONE is welcome to join the tournament! I don't mind if I have to set it up for 50 people!