FA+
Shop
Birthday Journal
General | Posted 2 weeks agoIs birthmas. Am 30 now.
Yay
For real though, I'm genuinely surprised I made it this far. The past year (and a half) has been a dumpster fire and I do kinda wonder how I got through it (I mean, I know how). So many things have been learned, about others and myself. Also, the life-handling brain stuff clicked here finally and I'm finding it easier handling certain things. Shit's weird dude.
Anyway, yippee
If you can and want to, here's the birthday wishlist: https://tinyurl.com/26cjhfhf
Yay
For real though, I'm genuinely surprised I made it this far. The past year (and a half) has been a dumpster fire and I do kinda wonder how I got through it (I mean, I know how). So many things have been learned, about others and myself. Also, the life-handling brain stuff clicked here finally and I'm finding it easier handling certain things. Shit's weird dude.
Anyway, yippee
If you can and want to, here's the birthday wishlist: https://tinyurl.com/26cjhfhf
November Update: Birthday, Mom's Surgery & General Chaos
General | Posted 4 weeks agoI woulda made this journal yesterday, but I could barely lift my right arm lmao
Just a quick comprehensive update on what's been going on and deets for the month!
My birthday is on November 16th and I'm turning 30!
Honestly I'm surprised I made it this far. I won't be doing a ton of stuff for the bday, mostly because we cannot afford it. Having to use what money I would have used for that day to get me a new phone, cause mine's on its last legs. Orignally the birthday plan was to go a bowling alley that also has a baller arcade and indoor mini golf course, grab some dinner and then go see The Running Man in theaters. We're just pivoting the plan to staying here at home, ordering some pizza (or making it if we really dont have the money) and just playing games, watching movies and doing crafts.
I do have a wishlist set up for some stuff I would find neat to have. Most of it is under 60 USD, hovering around the 30 dollar range. There's a few big guys in there though.
Wishlist: https://tinyurl.com/26cjhfhf
Mom's cancer removal surgery is going to be either November 19th or the 25th
The surgeon is hella nice. He went over pretty much everything about the plan for removing the tongue cancer with us, gave us a play by play about what's going to happen. It's gonna be a 3hr surgery, with a few days of recovery in the hospital. She'll have a feeding tube in for a week or two while the tongue heals. No chemotherapy and a very small chance of needing radiation therapy (less than 20%). She'll have to have speech therapy to re-learn how to talk with 25% less tongue. She was offered reconstruction, but declined it cause it would not only turn that 3 hr surgery into 10 hours, and a 2 day recovery stay to 10 days minimum. The surgeon told us outright that she'd only see a 10-15% increase in speech ability if the reconstruction was done, so she opted to just do the normal surgery. She wants as little of a hospital stay as possible, which I don't blame her
At the time of writing this, Mom has two more appointments this week that require driving down to the Detroit Metro. Tuesday and Friday. These long ass driving sessions are taking a toll on my body, especially my right arm (the dominant one). It's 3+hours of driving back and forth from here and Detroit, and Jesus fuck, some people do not know how to drive. Saturday's appt showed me that clearly as we nearly got hit by 3 separate vehicles either trying to change lanes in general, or in one idiots case, going from the far left lane all the way to an exit. No turn signal and they were about 5 feet in front of my bumper.
BAD DRIVERS NEVER MISS THEIR EXITS
And for the general chaos...
Cats are doing cat things. Just in the past week, two of our 7 month olds, Pinto and Copper, decided each that they wanted to get wet. Copper was playing with his brother, Ash, when he jumped OVER the cat tree, flew head first into the food storage and landed squarely in the water dish. Poor guy was soaked. Wrapped him up in the towel and dried him off and he protested very loudly. He is an idiot baby. Pinto a day later tried to hide in the tub (which is a shower combo) from Copper and the shower was on. She only got her feet and a little bit of her sides wet, but she also complained loudly.
Raven's immediate family situation is also a disaster situation (I do have permission from Raven to relay this). Brother A's GF is preg again, but they have their own issues with drug addiction and already dealing with a special needs toddler. Brother B is in jail for the SECOND time in the past 4 months cause he got blackout drunk and broke into someone's house. He just got OUT of jail two weeks ago for that issue, so he's not getting back out anytime soon. And we just found out last night that her father is in the hospital for a suspected heart attack, and something about new stint implants was mentioned. When we go down towards Detroit on Tuesday, we're gonna swing down to where he's at so Raven can see him.
House issues are their own can of worms, but I think that one'll be a little easier to manage. Our natural gas blue flame space heater that is in our laundry room (that we use to prevent the pipes from freezing) died about a week ago. I'm 90% sure that its the pilot light starter that went out, and while that's fairly cheap to fix, I don't have any expertise in heating/cooling and I don't wanna fuck it up. We're waiting on hearing back from my brother about some financing that he's handling before we can get that fixed. We should have some kind of answer by Friday. If that doesn't come in time, I'll have to emergency stream to raise funds to get that fixed before the hard freezes start setting in up here.
And my mental health has been an experience as of late. I've been doing a ton of meditation and potentially not the healthiest self medicating (Weed) to keep my brain in check some days. I have no health insurance currently (got denied AGAIN) and I haven't been on any of my needed medications. I just need to get some financial documents together and go to my normal dr's office to get set up with their sliding scale. It'll still cost me to see my doctor and get my medications, but it'll at least be better than going without entirely. Along with that mess, I have come to the realization that I am a system! I got two headmates, an Astral Dragon named Benjamin Ven'Astrus and my long-time OC turned headmate, Norman Michael Bearcline III. All three of us use He/Him pronouns. I (Norm) take the helm and mental controls about 85% of the time, where Ben and Norman will take over physically when I get overstimulated. We're still all figuring out how to go about this, and we sat on the realization for a few days before making any kind of announcement. Mostly because I didn't want to make it seem that I was just fishing for attention by saying I was a system. I LIVE WITH SOMEONE WHO IS A SYSTEM (Raven), so her experiences and explanations have helped my two headmates finally make themselves known. I'm not alone, and my support system here at home, between Raven and her 'apartment complex' and Mom are incredibly supportive and understanding. I definetly need to get back to my dr and psychologist to talk about all of these updates, but that'll come in time (and when I have the money to do so)
and that's really about it for now. I've been posting various updates and feelies on my bluesky, so follow me over there to see me ramble occasionally about dumb shit that bothers me or dumb shit that is funny and doesnt matter in the grand scheme of things.
Thanks for reading this wall of text, thank you everyone who's been helping emotionally, physically and monetarily, and for being incredibly patient with me as I try to pick up the pieces of my life.
We love you all here~
-Norm
Just a quick comprehensive update on what's been going on and deets for the month!
My birthday is on November 16th and I'm turning 30!
Honestly I'm surprised I made it this far. I won't be doing a ton of stuff for the bday, mostly because we cannot afford it. Having to use what money I would have used for that day to get me a new phone, cause mine's on its last legs. Orignally the birthday plan was to go a bowling alley that also has a baller arcade and indoor mini golf course, grab some dinner and then go see The Running Man in theaters. We're just pivoting the plan to staying here at home, ordering some pizza (or making it if we really dont have the money) and just playing games, watching movies and doing crafts.
I do have a wishlist set up for some stuff I would find neat to have. Most of it is under 60 USD, hovering around the 30 dollar range. There's a few big guys in there though.
Wishlist: https://tinyurl.com/26cjhfhf
Mom's cancer removal surgery is going to be either November 19th or the 25th
The surgeon is hella nice. He went over pretty much everything about the plan for removing the tongue cancer with us, gave us a play by play about what's going to happen. It's gonna be a 3hr surgery, with a few days of recovery in the hospital. She'll have a feeding tube in for a week or two while the tongue heals. No chemotherapy and a very small chance of needing radiation therapy (less than 20%). She'll have to have speech therapy to re-learn how to talk with 25% less tongue. She was offered reconstruction, but declined it cause it would not only turn that 3 hr surgery into 10 hours, and a 2 day recovery stay to 10 days minimum. The surgeon told us outright that she'd only see a 10-15% increase in speech ability if the reconstruction was done, so she opted to just do the normal surgery. She wants as little of a hospital stay as possible, which I don't blame her
At the time of writing this, Mom has two more appointments this week that require driving down to the Detroit Metro. Tuesday and Friday. These long ass driving sessions are taking a toll on my body, especially my right arm (the dominant one). It's 3+hours of driving back and forth from here and Detroit, and Jesus fuck, some people do not know how to drive. Saturday's appt showed me that clearly as we nearly got hit by 3 separate vehicles either trying to change lanes in general, or in one idiots case, going from the far left lane all the way to an exit. No turn signal and they were about 5 feet in front of my bumper.
BAD DRIVERS NEVER MISS THEIR EXITS
And for the general chaos...
Cats are doing cat things. Just in the past week, two of our 7 month olds, Pinto and Copper, decided each that they wanted to get wet. Copper was playing with his brother, Ash, when he jumped OVER the cat tree, flew head first into the food storage and landed squarely in the water dish. Poor guy was soaked. Wrapped him up in the towel and dried him off and he protested very loudly. He is an idiot baby. Pinto a day later tried to hide in the tub (which is a shower combo) from Copper and the shower was on. She only got her feet and a little bit of her sides wet, but she also complained loudly.
Raven's immediate family situation is also a disaster situation (I do have permission from Raven to relay this). Brother A's GF is preg again, but they have their own issues with drug addiction and already dealing with a special needs toddler. Brother B is in jail for the SECOND time in the past 4 months cause he got blackout drunk and broke into someone's house. He just got OUT of jail two weeks ago for that issue, so he's not getting back out anytime soon. And we just found out last night that her father is in the hospital for a suspected heart attack, and something about new stint implants was mentioned. When we go down towards Detroit on Tuesday, we're gonna swing down to where he's at so Raven can see him.
House issues are their own can of worms, but I think that one'll be a little easier to manage. Our natural gas blue flame space heater that is in our laundry room (that we use to prevent the pipes from freezing) died about a week ago. I'm 90% sure that its the pilot light starter that went out, and while that's fairly cheap to fix, I don't have any expertise in heating/cooling and I don't wanna fuck it up. We're waiting on hearing back from my brother about some financing that he's handling before we can get that fixed. We should have some kind of answer by Friday. If that doesn't come in time, I'll have to emergency stream to raise funds to get that fixed before the hard freezes start setting in up here.
And my mental health has been an experience as of late. I've been doing a ton of meditation and potentially not the healthiest self medicating (Weed) to keep my brain in check some days. I have no health insurance currently (got denied AGAIN) and I haven't been on any of my needed medications. I just need to get some financial documents together and go to my normal dr's office to get set up with their sliding scale. It'll still cost me to see my doctor and get my medications, but it'll at least be better than going without entirely. Along with that mess, I have come to the realization that I am a system! I got two headmates, an Astral Dragon named Benjamin Ven'Astrus and my long-time OC turned headmate, Norman Michael Bearcline III. All three of us use He/Him pronouns. I (Norm) take the helm and mental controls about 85% of the time, where Ben and Norman will take over physically when I get overstimulated. We're still all figuring out how to go about this, and we sat on the realization for a few days before making any kind of announcement. Mostly because I didn't want to make it seem that I was just fishing for attention by saying I was a system. I LIVE WITH SOMEONE WHO IS A SYSTEM (Raven), so her experiences and explanations have helped my two headmates finally make themselves known. I'm not alone, and my support system here at home, between Raven and her 'apartment complex' and Mom are incredibly supportive and understanding. I definetly need to get back to my dr and psychologist to talk about all of these updates, but that'll come in time (and when I have the money to do so)
and that's really about it for now. I've been posting various updates and feelies on my bluesky, so follow me over there to see me ramble occasionally about dumb shit that bothers me or dumb shit that is funny and doesnt matter in the grand scheme of things.
Thanks for reading this wall of text, thank you everyone who's been helping emotionally, physically and monetarily, and for being incredibly patient with me as I try to pick up the pieces of my life.
We love you all here~
-Norm
An update and backstory (TW: Childhood Trauma)
General | Posted a month agoHello everyone.
Sorry for the radio silence. It's been pretty rough for me recently.
Following my mother's confirmed cancer diagnosis, my mental health went into the garbage. Like, my brain literally decided "Hmm, I think I will sit in a dumpster and light it on fire". I decided to give myself time to let the news sink in and deal with my emotions as they came. I feel like I've -mostly- come to terms with everything, even talking to Mom about my anxieties about everything. This also includes a ton of my resurging trauma from when she had cancer the first time.
You try explaining to an autistic child at the beginning of Kindergarten that you're very sick, have to go to a ton of dr's appointment, the medicine will make you even sicker for a bit AND expect them to understand and not freak out. So yeah, this is where I developed severe abandonment issues and was the catalyst for about 95% of my current mental health issues (Depression, Anxiety, Borderline Personality Disorder, Ect). Not to mention that only my mother knew how to handle me, (Cause she treated me like a person and didn't treat me like some sort of embarrassment or plague) so when my grandmother and father tried to take over, I received the brunt of a lot of unnecessary punishments. I was screamed at, spanked, put in time out and constantly put down. Only because I wanted to be next to my mom. I was told I was just bothering her, that she needed her rest. Meanwhile both of those two actually comforted my siblings; J (Older Brother) and B (younger sister). I genuinely only ever really interacted with family outside of my mom if I was either being blamed for something my siblings did (cause that happened a lot too) or if I was being yelled at if I had what I now realize were Panic Attacks. Come to find out nearly 25 years later, I would have been FINE just quietly hanging out in Mom's room while she rested. Mom told me so herself. She didn't know that Nana (her mom) and Dad said those things to me.
There's more to it, but in order to be brief: I was emotionally, verbally, and sometimes physically abused as a child by my father and maternal grandmother while my mother had cancer.
I couldn't remember much of that time of my life for over 20 years. I guess my brain blocked those memories to protect me. Mom's recent cancer diagnosis brought all of this back to the surface, and my brain is kind of on fire.
So yeah, I'm dealing with all of THAT fallout, on top of:
-Watching Mom deal with the Cancer (and taking her to all of her appts)
-Taking care of my cousin (now referred to as Adopted Sister or R) because she has her own mental health issues and trauma, making her day to day life a challenge without assistance
-Taking care of NINE (Yes 9) cats because shit got out of hand (Mom takes the fall on that one, she told me herself)
-Making sure the House and property we live in is taken care of, and we've fallen behind (Lawnmower is broken, 3 trees down in the back and not a big enough chainsaw to tackle them, weeds EVERYWHERE)
-The rising costs of living while having a limited and unstable income and no health insurance for myself
-The rise of American Fascism and the fear of being jailed or killed just for being who I am
-and the Lack of any kind of support from family, both immediate or extended in ALL of this (Siblings can't/won't help, R's Immediate AND Extended family barely even remembers she exists now that she moved up here, Mom's extended family hasn't talked to her in over 5 years, and seems full stop to have abandoned us.)
So please, please, please (plz) have patience with me. I'm not handling this the best right now. I also have a TON on my plate; trying to ease back into work, having the second business (Late Nite Makers, my craft group with Mom and R), Taking care of Mom and R (Both of them have been to the ER once in the past month), making sure everything is budgeted correctly so we can at least have power and *some* food, Keeping that cats fed and happy so they dont eat US, and at the very least, trying to keep myself from going down the Bad Thoughts Road (TM)
If you can help in ANY context: Emotionally (Sending good vibes, memes and pet pics), Physically (like hanging out if we live close enough), or Financially/Comms wise (Picking up comms & adopts, tipping, spreading the word via ads and bsky posts), PLEASE DO. I'll take pretty much any actual help I can get. Even finding me local resources (even if i may already know/use them) is also appreciated.
I make this journal to be as transparent as possible. I'm long past my days of not letting anyone know what's going on.
I'm not bottling it up anymore. This journal is an honest and desperate plea for help/assistance.
Do not hesitate to reach out to me if you can help tangibly or just wanna yap. I love talking about: Pokemon, World of Warcraft, Animals (Pets and their little lives), Cooking and Food, and Analog Horror.
Thank you for reading all of this if you're still here at this point. I'll figure out a way through this messy part of my life. I've made it this far, I'm not backing down.
-Norm
Sorry for the radio silence. It's been pretty rough for me recently.
Following my mother's confirmed cancer diagnosis, my mental health went into the garbage. Like, my brain literally decided "Hmm, I think I will sit in a dumpster and light it on fire". I decided to give myself time to let the news sink in and deal with my emotions as they came. I feel like I've -mostly- come to terms with everything, even talking to Mom about my anxieties about everything. This also includes a ton of my resurging trauma from when she had cancer the first time.
You try explaining to an autistic child at the beginning of Kindergarten that you're very sick, have to go to a ton of dr's appointment, the medicine will make you even sicker for a bit AND expect them to understand and not freak out. So yeah, this is where I developed severe abandonment issues and was the catalyst for about 95% of my current mental health issues (Depression, Anxiety, Borderline Personality Disorder, Ect). Not to mention that only my mother knew how to handle me, (Cause she treated me like a person and didn't treat me like some sort of embarrassment or plague) so when my grandmother and father tried to take over, I received the brunt of a lot of unnecessary punishments. I was screamed at, spanked, put in time out and constantly put down. Only because I wanted to be next to my mom. I was told I was just bothering her, that she needed her rest. Meanwhile both of those two actually comforted my siblings; J (Older Brother) and B (younger sister). I genuinely only ever really interacted with family outside of my mom if I was either being blamed for something my siblings did (cause that happened a lot too) or if I was being yelled at if I had what I now realize were Panic Attacks. Come to find out nearly 25 years later, I would have been FINE just quietly hanging out in Mom's room while she rested. Mom told me so herself. She didn't know that Nana (her mom) and Dad said those things to me.
There's more to it, but in order to be brief: I was emotionally, verbally, and sometimes physically abused as a child by my father and maternal grandmother while my mother had cancer.
I couldn't remember much of that time of my life for over 20 years. I guess my brain blocked those memories to protect me. Mom's recent cancer diagnosis brought all of this back to the surface, and my brain is kind of on fire.
So yeah, I'm dealing with all of THAT fallout, on top of:
-Watching Mom deal with the Cancer (and taking her to all of her appts)
-Taking care of my cousin (now referred to as Adopted Sister or R) because she has her own mental health issues and trauma, making her day to day life a challenge without assistance
-Taking care of NINE (Yes 9) cats because shit got out of hand (Mom takes the fall on that one, she told me herself)
-Making sure the House and property we live in is taken care of, and we've fallen behind (Lawnmower is broken, 3 trees down in the back and not a big enough chainsaw to tackle them, weeds EVERYWHERE)
-The rising costs of living while having a limited and unstable income and no health insurance for myself
-The rise of American Fascism and the fear of being jailed or killed just for being who I am
-and the Lack of any kind of support from family, both immediate or extended in ALL of this (Siblings can't/won't help, R's Immediate AND Extended family barely even remembers she exists now that she moved up here, Mom's extended family hasn't talked to her in over 5 years, and seems full stop to have abandoned us.)
So please, please, please (plz) have patience with me. I'm not handling this the best right now. I also have a TON on my plate; trying to ease back into work, having the second business (Late Nite Makers, my craft group with Mom and R), Taking care of Mom and R (Both of them have been to the ER once in the past month), making sure everything is budgeted correctly so we can at least have power and *some* food, Keeping that cats fed and happy so they dont eat US, and at the very least, trying to keep myself from going down the Bad Thoughts Road (TM)
If you can help in ANY context: Emotionally (Sending good vibes, memes and pet pics), Physically (like hanging out if we live close enough), or Financially/Comms wise (Picking up comms & adopts, tipping, spreading the word via ads and bsky posts), PLEASE DO. I'll take pretty much any actual help I can get. Even finding me local resources (even if i may already know/use them) is also appreciated.
I make this journal to be as transparent as possible. I'm long past my days of not letting anyone know what's going on.
I'm not bottling it up anymore. This journal is an honest and desperate plea for help/assistance.
Do not hesitate to reach out to me if you can help tangibly or just wanna yap. I love talking about: Pokemon, World of Warcraft, Animals (Pets and their little lives), Cooking and Food, and Analog Horror.
Thank you for reading all of this if you're still here at this point. I'll figure out a way through this messy part of my life. I've made it this far, I'm not backing down.
-Norm
Fuck Cancer
General | Posted a month agoInvasive Squamous Cell Carcinoma of the tongue with keritinazation.
That's what mom has been diagnosed with. So it's confirmed mom has cancer for the second time in her life.
The news is hitting me way harder than I thought it would. And a lot of it is from a ton of childhood trauma from when mom had cancer the first time in 2001.
Please be patient with me. I'm dealing with a lot right now.
And If you can afford it, please consider tossing some cash my way. Dr copays, gas and food are all needed on top of the normal bills. Ko-fi and shinies are viable options.
That's what mom has been diagnosed with. So it's confirmed mom has cancer for the second time in her life.
The news is hitting me way harder than I thought it would. And a lot of it is from a ton of childhood trauma from when mom had cancer the first time in 2001.
Please be patient with me. I'm dealing with a lot right now.
And If you can afford it, please consider tossing some cash my way. Dr copays, gas and food are all needed on top of the normal bills. Ko-fi and shinies are viable options.
Biopsy Scheduled
General | Posted 2 months agoSo yesterday was an adventure.
The Dr seemed incredibly concerned about the leison on moms tongue and wanted to do a biopsy right away, but because her insurance sucks ass, they needed a prior auth to do it.
The biopsy was approved this morning and is for 1 pm tomorrow!
Thankfully theres no extra co pay, but we do despretly need to get the oil changed on the car, cause the maintenence light came on about 30 min into the trip yesterday. Thats about 110 bucks right there (for full synthetic)
Hoo boy... if anyone's able to help out, just honk at me.
(I need to do yarwork today, because my front yard is so unkempt, usps is refusing to deliver our mail)
The Dr seemed incredibly concerned about the leison on moms tongue and wanted to do a biopsy right away, but because her insurance sucks ass, they needed a prior auth to do it.
The biopsy was approved this morning and is for 1 pm tomorrow!
Thankfully theres no extra co pay, but we do despretly need to get the oil changed on the car, cause the maintenence light came on about 30 min into the trip yesterday. Thats about 110 bucks right there (for full synthetic)
Hoo boy... if anyone's able to help out, just honk at me.
(I need to do yarwork today, because my front yard is so unkempt, usps is refusing to deliver our mail)
We need help (TW: Serious Medical/ Cancer stuff)
General | Posted 2 months agohttps://bsky.app/profile/unknownbea...../3lzvih6hiik2m
For a Tl;Dr
My moms primary care doc and her dentist heavilly suspect that she has oral cancer on her tongue, and I need to take her to Detroit tomorrow (a 2 hr drive for us) to see an oral surgeon.
Mom had and beat breast cancer back in 2001, but this is bringing up some very traumatic memories for me. I'm my mom's caretaker, so when im not working or sleeping, I'm with her.
If you can spare the funds, please toss some over our way. It just goes to gas, food and medical related stuff her insurance doesnt/wont cover.
https://ko-fi.com/unknownbearprod
For a Tl;Dr
My moms primary care doc and her dentist heavilly suspect that she has oral cancer on her tongue, and I need to take her to Detroit tomorrow (a 2 hr drive for us) to see an oral surgeon.
Mom had and beat breast cancer back in 2001, but this is bringing up some very traumatic memories for me. I'm my mom's caretaker, so when im not working or sleeping, I'm with her.
If you can spare the funds, please toss some over our way. It just goes to gas, food and medical related stuff her insurance doesnt/wont cover.
https://ko-fi.com/unknownbearprod
BIG PWYW Stream 9/22 @ 12 PM EDT (& EMERGENCY SALE)
General | Posted 2 months agoSo I'm gonna go nuts tomorrow.
So on Piczel ( www.piczel.tv/watch/UnknownBear ), Tomorrow I'll be streaming for 12 hours.
I have so many things I need to pay for and I'm getting desperate at this point.
I haven't done a PWYW stream in YEARS, mostly because I'm not a super fan of the format. But I'm also left with no choice at this point lmao
Minimum will be 35 USD, and It'll be starting at full body, flat colors (normally 50). I also have a few goals that NEED to be met.
These goals are:
150 USD for Cell Phone (and overdraft fee) - ASAP
150 for Groceries - ASAP
250 for Upcoming Bills - By 10/1
200 Pre-Craft show Expenses- by 10/3
250 for Family Trip on weekend of 10/11
Total goal: 1000 USD, with 300 due ASAP
As for the PWYW Prices, I'll list what will get you what at minimum:
Full Body, Flat Colors- 35 USD
Full Body, Cel Shaded- 50 USD
Full Body, Soft Shading- 65 USD
Colored Shaded Sketch- 20 USD
Chibi- 10 USD
+ Extra Character- +50% base
Two Characters Max please
I will also maintain these special prices from TODAY (yes before the stream) to the Evening of September 30th (With the Halloween sale Starting October 1st)
If you have the funds to spare, please consider picking up some artwork! If you dont have the funds, spread the word! If i have to work my hands to the bones to feed my family, I'll do so.
So on Piczel ( www.piczel.tv/watch/UnknownBear ), Tomorrow I'll be streaming for 12 hours.
I have so many things I need to pay for and I'm getting desperate at this point.
I haven't done a PWYW stream in YEARS, mostly because I'm not a super fan of the format. But I'm also left with no choice at this point lmao
Minimum will be 35 USD, and It'll be starting at full body, flat colors (normally 50). I also have a few goals that NEED to be met.
These goals are:
150 USD for Cell Phone (and overdraft fee) - ASAP
150 for Groceries - ASAP
250 for Upcoming Bills - By 10/1
200 Pre-Craft show Expenses- by 10/3
250 for Family Trip on weekend of 10/11
Total goal: 1000 USD, with 300 due ASAP
As for the PWYW Prices, I'll list what will get you what at minimum:
Full Body, Flat Colors- 35 USD
Full Body, Cel Shaded- 50 USD
Full Body, Soft Shading- 65 USD
Colored Shaded Sketch- 20 USD
Chibi- 10 USD
+ Extra Character- +50% base
Two Characters Max please
I will also maintain these special prices from TODAY (yes before the stream) to the Evening of September 30th (With the Halloween sale Starting October 1st)
If you have the funds to spare, please consider picking up some artwork! If you dont have the funds, spread the word! If i have to work my hands to the bones to feed my family, I'll do so.
Acct deep in red, need 200 USD
General | Posted 2 months agoSo i thought I had an extra day to get the money for the cellphone bill, but nope!
Bank acct is super deep in the red (the cell bill PLUS an overdraft fee), so we need 200 USD literally today.
Stream at some point today, but I'm also working on a ton of stuff off stream till then.
if you can help, please
the moment i saw the very angry bank account, my brain got the big sad
Bank acct is super deep in the red (the cell bill PLUS an overdraft fee), so we need 200 USD literally today.
Stream at some point today, but I'm also working on a ton of stuff off stream till then.
if you can help, please
the moment i saw the very angry bank account, my brain got the big sad
Late Nite Makers!
General | Posted 2 months agoThis is what I've been working at for the past two weeks.
PLEASE NOTE: Despite THIS account being 18+, the Late Nite Makers server and community is open to those 13+. We want to foster a safe and creative community that just wants to make pretty stuff. If you join and make things inappropriate or uncomfortable for people in there, I will yeet you into the sun.
I make stuff outside of adult content sometimes...lol
It's time!
The Late Nite Makers Discord is finally open! The Twilight Grovelands are welcoming in all who are interested in our wares.
Here's the Invite link. This is a SFW server, and open to anyone who's legally allowed to use discord (No one under 13).
https://discord.gg/auAmsmTXaf
PLEASE NOTE: Despite THIS account being 18+, the Late Nite Makers server and community is open to those 13+. We want to foster a safe and creative community that just wants to make pretty stuff. If you join and make things inappropriate or uncomfortable for people in there, I will yeet you into the sun.
I make stuff outside of adult content sometimes...lol
It's time!
The Late Nite Makers Discord is finally open! The Twilight Grovelands are welcoming in all who are interested in our wares.
Here's the Invite link. This is a SFW server, and open to anyone who's legally allowed to use discord (No one under 13).
https://discord.gg/auAmsmTXaf
Need 150 usd asap (also tiny vent)
General | Posted 2 months agoIt me
I'll keep this blunt. I'm just straight up not in the position mentally or physically to stream today. I'm slowly readjusting to my medication while dealing with weather triggered fibromyalgia flares. I cannot sit up for longer than 30 minutes at a time. My mental health is suffering from a combo of lack of meds due to losing my insurance and the rising anti-trans rhetoric and violence here in the US.
I can still work laying down, however, as I have my iPad.
I am offering stream prices for today out of stream.
They are as follows:
Uncolored Sketch- 15 usd
Colored Sketch- 25 usd
Chibi- 20 usd
Artistic freedom, cel shaded, full body- 60 usd
Goal: 150 usd
All work will be completed tonight and tomorrow. I just really need help right now. I'm absolutely fucking terrified to live here anymore. It's only a matter of time where my existance will become illegal and I will either be jailed or killed. I'm just trying to keep afloat and feed my family till I can get us out.
If you can help out, please do not hesitate to reach out.
For now, I'm just gonna take more tylenol and work on some art.
I'll keep this blunt. I'm just straight up not in the position mentally or physically to stream today. I'm slowly readjusting to my medication while dealing with weather triggered fibromyalgia flares. I cannot sit up for longer than 30 minutes at a time. My mental health is suffering from a combo of lack of meds due to losing my insurance and the rising anti-trans rhetoric and violence here in the US.
I can still work laying down, however, as I have my iPad.
I am offering stream prices for today out of stream.
They are as follows:
Uncolored Sketch- 15 usd
Colored Sketch- 25 usd
Chibi- 20 usd
Artistic freedom, cel shaded, full body- 60 usd
Goal: 150 usd
All work will be completed tonight and tomorrow. I just really need help right now. I'm absolutely fucking terrified to live here anymore. It's only a matter of time where my existance will become illegal and I will either be jailed or killed. I'm just trying to keep afloat and feed my family till I can get us out.
If you can help out, please do not hesitate to reach out.
For now, I'm just gonna take more tylenol and work on some art.
Taking SFW Sketches and Chibi's (5 PM EDT Deadline)
General | Posted 3 months agoWhoops lmao, It's me again!
TL;DR: Taking some sketches and chibi's because I not only need money for bills (50 USD Minimum) but I need SFW examples of my sketches and chibi's for a craft show I'm vending at in October. (That's a whole new project that's finally starting to take shape, will elaborate in a later journal)
https://bsky.app/profile/unknownbea...../3lydm57rgpc2s
this has all of the info, but if you're to silly to read it:
Taking some small comms today! I have 2 things due @ 5 pm EDT & would like small stuff to work on. SFW Only today, need examples for craft shows.
Uncolored Sketch- 15 USD
Colored Sketch- 25 USD
Chibi- 20 USD
DM me here/Discord (UnknownBearProd) if you wanna pick one up!
Alt txt has more info <3
TL;DR: Taking some sketches and chibi's because I not only need money for bills (50 USD Minimum) but I need SFW examples of my sketches and chibi's for a craft show I'm vending at in October. (That's a whole new project that's finally starting to take shape, will elaborate in a later journal)
https://bsky.app/profile/unknownbea...../3lydm57rgpc2s
this has all of the info, but if you're to silly to read it:
Taking some small comms today! I have 2 things due @ 5 pm EDT & would like small stuff to work on. SFW Only today, need examples for craft shows.
Uncolored Sketch- 15 USD
Colored Sketch- 25 USD
Chibi- 20 USD
DM me here/Discord (UnknownBearProd) if you wanna pick one up!
Alt txt has more info <3
Working from Bed + Taking 4 Same-Day Chibi's
General | Posted 4 months agoWell, the chronic pain caught up with me again. But bills are due, and I have a way to draw while in bed.
Taking 4 Chibi's today, same day completion. 20 USD Each.
Please note me (or DM me on discord) if you'd like one. I have bills due tomorrow and Tuesday and I just need a bit more time to rest before I can properly sit at my desk again.
Taking 4 Chibi's today, same day completion. 20 USD Each.
Please note me (or DM me on discord) if you'd like one. I have bills due tomorrow and Tuesday and I just need a bit more time to rest before I can properly sit at my desk again.
New Commission Type: Chibi! (Also 150 USD needed)
General | Posted 4 months agohttps://bsky.app/profile/unknownbea...../3lvbgcxj35k2a
TL:DR, chibi's are now available as a commission type, 20 usd each. 150 usd goal for bills. Hit me up
TL:DR, chibi's are now available as a commission type, 20 usd each. 150 usd goal for bills. Hit me up
Food insecurity sucks (Need monitary help)
General | Posted 4 months agoBeing entirely honest, I'm barely hanging on. We maybe have 3-4 days of actual meals left before we're only left with cans of vegetables and maybe a bag or two of rice.
I honestly just am at the end of my rope. I honestly haven't said much recently cause I know people are tired of seeing me beg.
This is generally affecting my mental health. I can barely get out of bed most days, my anxiety is leaving me in a position where even THINKING about how bad it is makes me want to cry. I'm slowly trying to work on comms, but on top of other health issues, it's getting even harder.
I'm really sorry to ask for MORE help, especially when so many people have been waiting so long for so much stuff, but please. I need to keep vaguely healthy stuff on the table (cause mom and I are both diabetic), and if you can help, slide stuff over to my ko-fi:
https://ko-fi.com/unknownbearprod
I honestly just am at the end of my rope. I honestly haven't said much recently cause I know people are tired of seeing me beg.
This is generally affecting my mental health. I can barely get out of bed most days, my anxiety is leaving me in a position where even THINKING about how bad it is makes me want to cry. I'm slowly trying to work on comms, but on top of other health issues, it's getting even harder.
I'm really sorry to ask for MORE help, especially when so many people have been waiting so long for so much stuff, but please. I need to keep vaguely healthy stuff on the table (cause mom and I are both diabetic), and if you can help, slide stuff over to my ko-fi:
https://ko-fi.com/unknownbearprod
This is filler (Fun questions)
General | Posted 4 months agoHi
Just wanted to make casual convo in a journal while I figure out some shit on my end lmao
So I got a some silly questions for all of y'all.
1. Favorite pokemon?
2. What is your favorite song?
3. Breakfast preference?
4. Favorite Video game (Or any other game for that matter)
5. If you (not your fursona, YOU) were one of these three roles, which would you be: DPS, Tank or Support?
I'll answer these to get started:
1. Sylveon (Runner up is Cradily)
2. Anywhere but Here by Five Finger Death Punch feat. Maria Brink (the proper duet version)
3. Pancakes, home fries, scrambled eggs, a few pieces of bacon, wheat toast with strawberry jam and a glass of apple juice.
4. A tie between Sonic Adventure 2: Battle and World of Warcaft, between those two games i have 10k+ Hours invested over my lifetime.
5. Support, no questions asked. I'm not very strong or physically resilient, but I'm fairly skilled in general home skills (Cooking, Cleaning, Sewing, First Aid, Gardening, ect)
I hope y'all have a good weekend.
Back to my normally scheduled nonsense.
Just wanted to make casual convo in a journal while I figure out some shit on my end lmao
So I got a some silly questions for all of y'all.
1. Favorite pokemon?
2. What is your favorite song?
3. Breakfast preference?
4. Favorite Video game (Or any other game for that matter)
5. If you (not your fursona, YOU) were one of these three roles, which would you be: DPS, Tank or Support?
I'll answer these to get started:
1. Sylveon (Runner up is Cradily)
2. Anywhere but Here by Five Finger Death Punch feat. Maria Brink (the proper duet version)
3. Pancakes, home fries, scrambled eggs, a few pieces of bacon, wheat toast with strawberry jam and a glass of apple juice.
4. A tie between Sonic Adventure 2: Battle and World of Warcaft, between those two games i have 10k+ Hours invested over my lifetime.
5. Support, no questions asked. I'm not very strong or physically resilient, but I'm fairly skilled in general home skills (Cooking, Cleaning, Sewing, First Aid, Gardening, ect)
I hope y'all have a good weekend.
Back to my normally scheduled nonsense.
Bill Time! Need 250 USD ASAP (Stream Later)
General | Posted 5 months agoIt's time once again.
I need 250 USD for bills, including covering the cost of one that came out that I SWEAR i had money for that apparently I didn't.
I'll be streaming later today, so if You'd Like to see your comm done on stream, fill out my comm form and please mention in your description that its a stream commission! If you just want a comm in general, just fill out the farm.
Forewarning: I will probably be high during stream cause my body is *protesting*. It is legal where I live, and it WILL be free entertainment.
Prices: https://www.unknownbearproductions......mmissions.html
Form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1.....DWUYA/viewform
Stream (Start time around 2 PM EDT): https://piczel.tv/watch/UnknownBear
I need 250 USD for bills, including covering the cost of one that came out that I SWEAR i had money for that apparently I didn't.
I'll be streaming later today, so if You'd Like to see your comm done on stream, fill out my comm form and please mention in your description that its a stream commission! If you just want a comm in general, just fill out the farm.
Forewarning: I will probably be high during stream cause my body is *protesting*. It is legal where I live, and it WILL be free entertainment.
Prices: https://www.unknownbearproductions......mmissions.html
Form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1.....DWUYA/viewform
Stream (Start time around 2 PM EDT): https://piczel.tv/watch/UnknownBear
Terms of Service and Website Updated + NEW COMM FORM
General | Posted 5 months agoYes I know it's almost 6 am my time. My sleep schedule is a mess and it's been too hot to be awake during the day lol.
Just some big work related things. Finally took the time to update my Terms of Service and Website and FINALLY made a proper commission form.
CHANGES
TOS:
-Increase to Rush Order fee (From 15% to 35%)
-Updated AI Restrictions
-Changed wording (Replaced Twitter with Bluesky)
-Added 'Style Break' Fee (+10% Base Cost to break my personal style)
WEBSITE:
-Updated Rush Order fee change (Same as ToS)
-Updated Will/Won't Draw List (Mild slob in Maybe, Moderate/Heavy Slob in Won't)
-Moved Graphic Design commissions to bottom of page (Least commissioned type)
-Updated Spacing
Both the Website and ToS have links to the new form.
Speaking of:
I FINALLY SAT DOWN AND BUILT A PROPER COMMISSION FORM!
10+ years of taking commissions, and I'm just tired of losing all of my info (Or not putting it into the Trello). This'll hopefully help me keep track of commissions way easier! I'll be adding the link to the comm form to my FA Page Info and my Pinned Post on Bluesky.
Commission Form: https://forms.gle/YJhArHrsJPCJwW9G6
Anyway, back to my regularly scheduled shenanigans.
Just some big work related things. Finally took the time to update my Terms of Service and Website and FINALLY made a proper commission form.
CHANGES
TOS:
-Increase to Rush Order fee (From 15% to 35%)
-Updated AI Restrictions
-Changed wording (Replaced Twitter with Bluesky)
-Added 'Style Break' Fee (+10% Base Cost to break my personal style)
WEBSITE:
-Updated Rush Order fee change (Same as ToS)
-Updated Will/Won't Draw List (Mild slob in Maybe, Moderate/Heavy Slob in Won't)
-Moved Graphic Design commissions to bottom of page (Least commissioned type)
-Updated Spacing
Both the Website and ToS have links to the new form.
Speaking of:
I FINALLY SAT DOWN AND BUILT A PROPER COMMISSION FORM!
10+ years of taking commissions, and I'm just tired of losing all of my info (Or not putting it into the Trello). This'll hopefully help me keep track of commissions way easier! I'll be adding the link to the comm form to my FA Page Info and my Pinned Post on Bluesky.
Commission Form: https://forms.gle/YJhArHrsJPCJwW9G6
Anyway, back to my regularly scheduled shenanigans.
Pride Sale, Last Call!! 25 USD Icons, Everything Else 25% Of
General | Posted 5 months agoLast call for Pride Commissions. 25 USD for Pride icons, 25% Off for anything else Pride Themed. I need 300 USD ASAP, and I'd like to get it without streaming (as much as I love streaming, I'm working on some new assets that I'd like to keep quiet for a big return) Hit me up if you can!
Need 150 by Friday 6PM EDT
General | Posted 5 months agoNeed 150 USD before 6 PM EDT Friday.
1. Recoup a bit of bill money
2. Grocery Money so I don't have to go out during the heat wave (Sat-Tue is gonna be 90+F)
3. A little bit extra for some Work experimentation (Handmaking merch)
Hit me up
https://www.unknownbearproductions......missions.htmlp
1. Recoup a bit of bill money
2. Grocery Money so I don't have to go out during the heat wave (Sat-Tue is gonna be 90+F)
3. A little bit extra for some Work experimentation (Handmaking merch)
Hit me up
https://www.unknownbearproductions......missions.htmlp
Need 125 by tomorrow morning
General | Posted 5 months agoHi peeps
I need 125 usd by tomorrow morning. 75 for a big bill and the rest is for small bills and groceries.
I just got back from an unintended stay near family 3 hours away (cause my brakes about died on me and I would not have made it home without stopping to replace them)
I'm entirely broke and completely exhausted. Too exhausted to stream tonight.
If you can help, that would be amazing!
For now, I'm gonna flop and rest.
I need 125 usd by tomorrow morning. 75 for a big bill and the rest is for small bills and groceries.
I just got back from an unintended stay near family 3 hours away (cause my brakes about died on me and I would not have made it home without stopping to replace them)
I'm entirely broke and completely exhausted. Too exhausted to stream tonight.
If you can help, that would be amazing!
For now, I'm gonna flop and rest.
Need 150 before the end of the night!
General | Posted 6 months agoNeed 150 for tomorrow. Bills and essential groceries. Please help.
https://www.unknownbearproductions......mmissions.html
https://www.unknownbearproductions......mmissions.html
Need 220 ASAP
General | Posted 6 months agoSo stuff's a little crazy and I need 220 USD ASAP. Here's the breakdown:
70 USD by Tomorrow Morn (Gas and Gardening supplies)
50 USD by Monday Morn (Bills)
100 USD by Tuesday Morn (A Mom Bill and part of the Water Bill)
If you can help, hit me up!
https://www.unknownbearproductions......mmissions.html
70 USD by Tomorrow Morn (Gas and Gardening supplies)
50 USD by Monday Morn (Bills)
100 USD by Tuesday Morn (A Mom Bill and part of the Water Bill)
If you can help, hit me up!
https://www.unknownbearproductions......mmissions.html
Update: Bills, Work and Mental Health
General | Posted 6 months agoNow that I've had a few days to cool down.
Holy shit. I've barely gotten out of bed in the past two days. I was just so fucking exhausted from the close call Thursday Night. I mostly slept, when I wasn't sleeping, i was just laying there, letting videos play on my tv. That was the first severe panic attack I had ever had since my dad had his BIG heart attack at the end of 2017. It WIPED me OUT.
I'm still not back to 100% yet (probably about 82%) but I don't have the time or money to lay around any longer. Back to work for me.
As far as bills go:
Need 120 BEFORE the morning of the 21st (Cellphone Bill)
At least 150 for Food/Essentials ASAP (toilet paper and cat stuff mostly)
100 Before the 27th (Paying mom back for covering something for me/mom bill)
and then at least 260 before June 1st (More bills!)
Like i said in the previous journal, I will be starting streaming again soon once a week, but It'll bounce around what day its on. Most days will be used to work on comms off stream (as many are NSFW, which isn't allowed on Twich, and Picarto's servers suck). I plan on having my work days be Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday. I'll try to get at least 2-3 comms done per day (depending on complexity and energy for the day.) One of those days will end up being a stream day. Keep an eye out for a stream announcement (Journal/Submission/Bsky Post/Discord Ping) during the weekdays, anywhere from 12pm EDT to around 5 PM EDT. I'm hoping to stream for at least 3-4 hours, making a certain amount of instream goals (Usually 150 to 200 USD). This is on top of taking other commissions out of stream to keep up with finances. Everything's going up and I just need to actually work more to keep up with rising costs. (Also part of the reason why I haven't raised my prices yet is cause i know how hard it is for everyone else at the moment and I want to at least be somewhat affordable.)
Any and all help and patience is super appreciated. Even just checking in on me or sending a meme or pet photo helps. I can very easily be reached on Discord ( UnknownBearProd ) either through my DM's or my server. Just poke me, I don't bite (but I will apologize profusely)
Holy shit. I've barely gotten out of bed in the past two days. I was just so fucking exhausted from the close call Thursday Night. I mostly slept, when I wasn't sleeping, i was just laying there, letting videos play on my tv. That was the first severe panic attack I had ever had since my dad had his BIG heart attack at the end of 2017. It WIPED me OUT.
I'm still not back to 100% yet (probably about 82%) but I don't have the time or money to lay around any longer. Back to work for me.
As far as bills go:
Need 120 BEFORE the morning of the 21st (Cellphone Bill)
At least 150 for Food/Essentials ASAP (toilet paper and cat stuff mostly)
100 Before the 27th (Paying mom back for covering something for me/mom bill)
and then at least 260 before June 1st (More bills!)
Like i said in the previous journal, I will be starting streaming again soon once a week, but It'll bounce around what day its on. Most days will be used to work on comms off stream (as many are NSFW, which isn't allowed on Twich, and Picarto's servers suck). I plan on having my work days be Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday. I'll try to get at least 2-3 comms done per day (depending on complexity and energy for the day.) One of those days will end up being a stream day. Keep an eye out for a stream announcement (Journal/Submission/Bsky Post/Discord Ping) during the weekdays, anywhere from 12pm EDT to around 5 PM EDT. I'm hoping to stream for at least 3-4 hours, making a certain amount of instream goals (Usually 150 to 200 USD). This is on top of taking other commissions out of stream to keep up with finances. Everything's going up and I just need to actually work more to keep up with rising costs. (Also part of the reason why I haven't raised my prices yet is cause i know how hard it is for everyone else at the moment and I want to at least be somewhat affordable.)
Any and all help and patience is super appreciated. Even just checking in on me or sending a meme or pet photo helps. I can very easily be reached on Discord ( UnknownBearProd ) either through my DM's or my server. Just poke me, I don't bite (but I will apologize profusely)
Tornadic close call- No internet (need money for cell bill)
General | Posted 6 months agoHoo boy.
After narrowly missing a tornado, and the resulting power outages causing internet outages, working just got harder.
Def need that 120 urgently for our cell bill though so we dont lose our data too.
Still gonna try and work from the ipad either by data hotspot or a friends wifi.
Help
For added context: my area got hit with stronger than expected storm system that caused a bit of damage from tornadoes and microbursts. **WE ARE FINE AND SAFE** if a bit rattled. The resulting power outages in the area from the storms knocked out Spectrum services (total blackout on service). There is currently no eta on service restoration. We have power thankfully, narrowly avoided that can of worms. I also suffered my first severe panic attack in roughly 8 years. I typically get anxious around tornado warnings, and typically they do not hit our area due to us being in a river valley. So when we get tornado warnings specifically for our little town, we get suspicious or serious. The situation wasn't helped that I was high. (Cause I assumed that past storm trends would be true, and that the storm would weaken before it caused trouble.) I was very wrong lmao.
So yeah. No internet with no eta. Limited cell data. Need money for cell bill thats due in 5 days.
If you can help, hit me up.
After narrowly missing a tornado, and the resulting power outages causing internet outages, working just got harder.
Def need that 120 urgently for our cell bill though so we dont lose our data too.
Still gonna try and work from the ipad either by data hotspot or a friends wifi.
Help
For added context: my area got hit with stronger than expected storm system that caused a bit of damage from tornadoes and microbursts. **WE ARE FINE AND SAFE** if a bit rattled. The resulting power outages in the area from the storms knocked out Spectrum services (total blackout on service). There is currently no eta on service restoration. We have power thankfully, narrowly avoided that can of worms. I also suffered my first severe panic attack in roughly 8 years. I typically get anxious around tornado warnings, and typically they do not hit our area due to us being in a river valley. So when we get tornado warnings specifically for our little town, we get suspicious or serious. The situation wasn't helped that I was high. (Cause I assumed that past storm trends would be true, and that the storm would weaken before it caused trouble.) I was very wrong lmao.
So yeah. No internet with no eta. Limited cell data. Need money for cell bill thats due in 5 days.
If you can help, hit me up.
Bill Crunch Time: Breakdown!
General | Posted 6 months agoIt's me again!
Time Crunch 2: Electric Boogaloo
So I underestimated how much time I had left before bills were due. The breakdown goes as this:
By the 16th- 220 USD
By the 19th- 205 USD
By the 27th- 400 USD
I'm buckling down to work on commissions in between outside. If I'm not outside working on the yard and garden, I'll be inside working on commissions.
I'll be streaming at least Once a week (Date Undetermined)
Please help if you can spare the cash, I know it's tight for everyone, but I need to keep the lights on and food on the table.
If you can't help monetarily, spread the word!
Time Crunch 2: Electric Boogaloo
So I underestimated how much time I had left before bills were due. The breakdown goes as this:
By the 16th- 220 USD
By the 19th- 205 USD
By the 27th- 400 USD
I'm buckling down to work on commissions in between outside. If I'm not outside working on the yard and garden, I'll be inside working on commissions.
I'll be streaming at least Once a week (Date Undetermined)
Please help if you can spare the cash, I know it's tight for everyone, but I need to keep the lights on and food on the table.
If you can't help monetarily, spread the word!
