This is one problem that I've been having for quite some time, mostly because it has it's ups and downs.
But I'm kind of half scared to always post something sexual.
For one reason because I am afraid people will hate me for it/ ridicule me for what I like/ ect.
It has happened before and I've have this one huge traumatizing experience when I was little.

Okay so when I was little, I also did draw porn. Just the much lighter stuff, like maybe 4th or 5th grade.
And I actually made a comic involving two guys just kissing and talking (I still have it <3) but when I finished to show one of my friends. They liked it, though another person looked over their shoulder and started shouting?
"OMG you're drawing porn!"
"Monika stop drawing all your japanese porn!'
I don't even know why she added the word Japanese into it but I was SO FUCKING SCARED, I hid all the papers quickly and just tried to do little cat doodles but even then people kept looking at me weirdly for the rest of the day. Man I remember it so well.

I never shared drawings of kissing or anything sexual again until I joined the internet and I posted it maybe one or two years ago.
Nowadays I'm still scared to draw anything too graphic in the thought that somebody might see it even though nobody goes on my comp and all.

Sure you've seen me draw guts and blood, but you haven't seen me draw dicks. And though I'd love to draw all the cowboy dicks in the world, I am scared as shit.

I have been trying to break out of this more, but people get nosy with me especially with my little black book that I bring everywhere and try to draw whatever I want. Including violence and porn. And people like to fucking peek into your shit even when you say "nopenopenopenopenopenpoenopenpoenoenope".

But even with this fear I do know that I have loving fans that would love me even if I drew dicknipples. And that is why I love them dearly, just I kind of hide my love so I don't scare ya'll. So if anybody else feels this same way, like scared of posting more graphic things then don't be. Draw whatever you want and people will love it. <3
And if they don't, show me and I will >:C

Okay so I've been actually thinking of selling a bunch of my shit lying around here.
Cause actually I just have tons of things that I don't use or never will use that I don't want to just give away since I'd either pay a lot for it or it meant a lot.

I've got a few figurines, manga's, TONS of comics and even build-a-bear clothing. Though that's just stuff I'd name off the top of my head.
And with me trying to raise money for a button maker it'd help to sell all this stuff so it'd be for one thing off my shelves and to gain some money.

Would anybody be interested?

Since I'll be having extra time in the afternoons after work since my dad won't be dragging me to his tennis then I'll do some commissions :D
Pretty much you can sign up for anything this time rather than it being restricted to just headshots or whatever, but there will be limited slots so get them while you can <:
Prices; http://www.furaffinity.net/view/8087808/

Grab the slot here, send me a note with the details C;

1. Ravefox666 - pending
2. Caseys icon <: - finishing touches - paid
3. Cartoon-girl2004 - pending - unpaid
4.

Okay cause guys I'll be starting on making drawings for posters when Con-G and Anime North rolls around
-rolls-

but I've already started on one that I'll keep secret since it doesn't even have to do with a fandom and just combines two things I adore
I did want some of my watchers opinions though seeing as um, I am kind of a butt.

But I've already gotten a few fandoms that I'll DEFINITELY be doing art for, like;
-Adventure Time
-Homestuck (they will be give aways so won't be sold!)
-Pokemon
-Lupin III (although I want to read it more before I make art for it even though I've watched some of the show which is terrible compared to the comic haha)
-My Neighbour Totoro
-Nichijou

they'll be made over a long period of time and I got a lot of time haha so it might seem like a lot but eh if I work efficiently I think I"ll be fine C;

but if you guys have any other fandoms that you want to suggest and think it'd be fun for me to do and/or get into it then let me know!

Um guys, today was an interesting day.
I woke up at 11:30, thinking I set my alarm but apparently I turned it off, typical of me.
Took a shower, man I smell good now.

Grabbed a package that I had to send and 20$.

Now I got to the elevator, and when it opened I realized it was in service.
With three really tall guys glanced at me with the entire elevator almost full to the brim with furniture.
They fidgeted and moved as much as they can and invited me in.
I thought it was thoughtful so I climbed in and it wasn't as cramped as it looked. The guys were really nice too so we talked for the small amount of time the elevator is and they complimented my hair.
So I left the elevator with a smile.

Now you see I live right beside a bridge that goes over a highway and the post office is right across.
So a minute of walking later I was a quarter way through the bridge and I looked up when I heard a giant thwomp.
There was a man, lying on the floor with the skin on his head ripped off and a giant hole through his shoulder, and his disfigured bike on the street. I was glad that he didn't turn out like the bike though.
A woman lying on the sidewalk yelling and crying, with her car with the most busted windshield I have ever seen.

So pretty much the woman hit the man that was on his bike and now he's bleeding on the street so I ran over to the small group.
I tried to help and calm him down while one of the people that were driving behind the ladies car were trying to call 911.
I kept with the man with a few other people trying to help while we waited for the ambulance to come.
Thankfully one of the drivers that saw was a paramedic and another driver brought over a towel to put under the mans head.
All I could do was massage the mans arm and try to keep him calm while I hold a package in my arms, as he's groaning and repeating like a record player, "I need help, let me go, I want to go home".

The ambulance finally came and while they were putting a brace on him I asked what else I could do, and they told me to try and calm down the lady that hit him.
So I went over to her and tried to help her now, you know tried to be friendly and told her that he was gonna be alright.
I mean he looked alright, he didn't look too much in shock and he took it fine.

So I stayed with her until a man came and started talking to her in Ukrainian or Russian, I think. Then the police came over to her and she said her breathing was hurting her so they put her on a stretcher aswell.
By this time the man was already in the ambulance and that one drove off.
So after they got her onto the stretcher I left, right back on my path to the post office.

When I got to the store though there was a woman sitting in her car with her pomeranian and her dog ran over to me.
I told her "man she's so cute".
She corrected me in that it was a boy, although people made that mistake a lot.
Then she complimented me on my cowboy boots with an enthusiastic, "whoa cool boots there cowboy!"
So I proceeded inside the store with a laugh and smile, sent my package.
Then when I came back out I waved to the woman and her dog and she returned it.

Now on the bridge nobody was left except for the other drivers that helped and a police officer.
I didn't bother to be questioned since they already questioned the others.

Man what a day.
I feel though as if people were too nice to me today, but man.
Man.

Okay so I actually just bought myself a laminator and cutter so that for future projects things will go more smoothly and so I won't have to take an hour trip to get something laminated :I (the closest Staples is in the next city)

unfortunately I had to spend all the money I was saving up for a button maker although I'll still try to get enough commissions to work up for that C;

So just as a start I'll be taking some lines+color headshots for now just so it's something but not too much since I still have projects of my own and all haha
they're 9$ each and they'll only be digital

ex; http://www.furaffinity.net/view/7998998/

1. Chikkennoodul (DA)
2.
3.

Okay so since my blog was weird and pretty much just full of weird then I made a seperate blog for drawings and shit
yep

http://horkingupart.tumblr.com/

but if you still want I guess follow my personal one andi f you want to see older arts

http://glitchbones.tumblr.com/

Okay you guys may know a bit about me, just a bit but I want to talk about what you don't know about and how those things can benefit you.

For one thing I'm actually getting a job, and a good paying one too where I get to work with little ones.
Pretty much it's teaching tennis, although I don't have my certificate I'm pretending to be certified so I can raise the money to get it.
But with only two days I realized, hold up, I like teaching.

I actually really enjoy putting my input into something and helping somebody through a problem or having them learn new things.
Although I do enjoy it to more skilled people as I do enjoy picking out little things.

Like for drawing if somebody asks me for a critique or to help with anatomy, I feel so privileged. Like as if they're entrusting perhaps the future of their drawings with my critique.
So I do like the critique but not in the negative manner. More in the constructive manner. Like if you know me, you know that I own and watch a LOT of movies, like in most of my free time I'll have a movie playing in the background. And honestly I've always wanted to critique movies for a hobby alongside drawing.

Like I will say what they could improve on, but then what they did well on. So they get both sides of the paper.
And you know I really appreciate it myself when people critique, but sometimes if they are accidentally harsh then I'll be a bit disappointed but then I see it as a challenge which is something I know people have to work on.
There are some people I know that if you don't deliberately lick their feet they get offended. And it's these kind of people that lose my respect very quickly, but if they acknowledge it then of course that means that they'll work on it maybe and then is okay.

How the fuck did I get to here?

Anyways I kind of got a job, I love getting and giving critiques so if you want an opinion then I'd love to say it!
Don't be afraid to ask me and I'll be honest aswell :3

Okay since I have a lot of money to raise then I'm gonna immediately start now
especially since I got some new markers and shiizz
So I'm gonna open up commissions for badges only though, I did raise the prices though since the materials I've noticed are already incredibly expensive and all.
SO cutouts are 13$
non-cutout are on sale for 11$ since I don't have many examples of those and I'd want to do more of those :3
Shipping will be an extra 2$ but if you purchase multiple you won't have to pay extra for those
and lamination is 3$ each, so for every one you have to pay it

CUTOUT; http://www.furaffinity.net/view/7960066/ http://www.furaffinity.net/view/8006694/
NON-CUTOUT; http://www.furaffinity.net/view/6978121/

1. ravefox666 - lining - paid for 1+shipping - 3 badges
2. jinxxy - lining - paid
3.

I know I haven't talked much recently, mostly because I've been working on personal things, mainly the animation and something else that I don't even want to bring up right now. Just because it's like a surprise that's being determined whether it should really happen or not, though with all the work I'm putting into it, it probably will.

But I'll be opening commissions again soon since I do need to raise a lot of money (for a laminator and button maker) so things so more smoothly but it'll only be digital seeing as I don't have many supplies that are actually good and cause I need to practice my digital much more.

Aswell I go sick again, although I was sick earlier since my glands swelled up and I got a pain under my rib (probably my pancreas) but now it's like I feel so weak it's a chore to walk. Normally I'm not this lazy either ahaha. Though I was guessing my weakness was just my anemia.

I should shut up and get back to work now, adios.

Anime north
what could I say about it now that I've been there for all three days for 2012
it was fun an my feet hurt halp

well for one thing the Homestuck panels were so good I actually started reading it and I'm already on Act 3
I got to meet a few people and doodled there aswell (@ glitchbones.tumblr.com)
I still don't have a camera so I couldn't take a photo of my cosplay, even though actually 13 people did :3 yep I counted it too since I was proud and all

but it was fun and I'll definitely be getting a table next year!
with my friend Nat
I'm already gonna start saving up money for a button maker aswell, although it'll probably take some time seeing as it was 300+ D:

But even if I can't afford a machine then I'll just order some if it's cheaper and I'll be reasearching some companies to make posters aswell <:

Thank you all so much for the support and actually from all the advice I've barely puked any more. Maybe like twice (last time was about 6 hours ago) when normally it was about every hour. And it was because I was in a car coming back from the doctor.

So I'm still not feeling 100% but I'm getting there quickly thanks to my mommy and lying in bed nearly all day haha

time to wuurrrkkkkkkk blah

hey guys
I feel um
terrible
I played tennis for almost 3 hours today, with only little 5 second breaks
and because of a busy schedule and tennis being right after coming home then I barely have time to eat and when I came back my dad bought me a sandwhich but after taking a shower to try to ease my leg muscle pain I had no appetite at all since the pain didn't ease
so I felt really sick, like I was gonna throw up
and after an hour of trying to sleep and convince myself it'll be better in the morning I rushed to the washroom and did what my name is
pretty much I um vomited until there was nothing left in my stomach
it came out of my nose aswell
it was incredibly painful, my stomach muscles still hurt so bad from squeezing everything out so urgently
so now also my nose and throat burn like hell and even though I'm trying to drink water to calm it down it isn't helping much and no matter how much I try my nose is still clogged with vomit
my dad cleaned up my vomit in the sink but gave no real support so I just ran away crying with boxes of tissues to try to get my nose clear at least

it still hurts just so badly
I don't even know why I feel so sick, I felt sick right after my match though so I'm guessing it was from exhaustion
some of this looks blurry aswell from all the crying

I feel like I'm gonna throw up again, but I don't even have anything to throw up anymore, my stomachs empty
I just want somebody to give me support right now but my dads gone back to watching tennis and I think everybody else is asleep

LATER ON
right now it's morning, by now I've thrown up maybe like 9 times
it does it almost every 2 hours now spot on the clock, and I've been throwing up this yellow liquid which I'm guessing it's bile

my moms leaving work early though so I could go to the hospital, although throwing up the bile isn't as painful as throwing up the food from before it's really killing my ribs but thank jeebus it's not burning my throat as much

I don't even know if I could go to Anime North anymore if it's really serious, but I still really want to. I'm just not sure anymore.

I forgot to post it on here but just so you guys know I'll be at Anime North again this year!
noooo I won't be getting a tablet buuut I'll be cosplaying and walkin around all weekend
if ya see me (probably nobody on here will) then drop me a shout or you can tackle me which in response I'll push you off as soon as possible and hide in a corner

sounds like fun :3

Yep, I know I mentioned it some time ago but don't forget that I'm having a kiriban at 5000 C;
So whoever gets it gets a lovely request from me, although I do prefer that I have liberty with the character as I've wanted to try angles and radical poses.

But if ya catch the 5000 then just show me the page ( for proof) and I'll put ya down <:

OH but also I've been working hard on my cosplay (with my mum as help) and I've gotten the basic shirt done, got everything else cut out and but I just need to sow it all together. Although my mom says she won't sow on Sundays so we'll just have to crash on Monday. :I So I'll just work on the wig for today.

Hey guys so this is an announcement about future commissions.
As of now I'll be raising prices by 2$ each. Just cause I figured you know what I've improved and my prices were already cheap and shit, so yep.
Of course for the commissioners I have now no worries you don't pay me extra or whatever just that that'll be the last time it's that cheap haha.
Just as an announcement so you guys don't go kasjbasjkbfjkbwhy're you making me pay moar?!?!?!?!???11!!112

gonna go work moar on my animation thingy, ye
yeeaaaa

the livestream before was good too, was fun <:

Okay so um I was gonna start the livestream soon but I wanted to also put in my microphone cause I wanted to answer maybe question or sing or I don't know.

So does anybody know how to put in audio with only the desktop?

Hey so um my comp got fixed thankfully by my good friends bruh, and my tablet magically started working again.

And so today I went to TCAF with my friend where we got to see tons of good artists and shit and asljkbflakfbklb I couldn't stop internally screaming.
LIke oh god I saw HamletMachine (and gave her some fanart I drew on the Subway, I would've done it before but I was trying to fix the comp ;c ), the maker of Boxer Hockey, got Andrew Hussies pic and signature, and met the creator of Bear Nuts. I didn't even know half these people would be there so when I recognized a bunch I was fangirling inside.
but maaaaan was it fun, I just wish I had more money to buy more then 2 comics ;c

Okay so now the pens working again, after like 20 times of restarting, so after all it was something with the computer.

I don't even know what but now it just keeps restarting even though I keep unchecking to disable that in the F8 screen at he beginning.
I'ts now 4 AM.
so

but just having the pen work again has given me so damn much happiness, I'm kind of internally screaming but still angry face at the comp

Okay so now the pens working again, after like 20 times of restarting, so after all it was something with the computer.

I don't even know what but now it just keeps restarting even though I keep unchecking to disable that in the F8 screen at he beginning.
I'ts now 4 AM.
so

but just having the pen work again has given me so damn much happiness, I'm kind of internally screaming but still angry face at the comp

Okay so
in short
I'm fucked
really badly
I kind of just want to cry
now

okay so in short, my tablet pen broke
it broke

just simply broke, I came back from the shower and it doesn't work, the tablets touch still works though just the pen doesn't show up at all on the screen, I tried giving another nib but nope'

I even tried opening the pen but there wasn't like any liquid or something that broke it so I don't even

so um guys I (thankfully) have the money to buy one more but I don't know from where
so please help me
I want to get a new one as SOON as possible

so in the meantime I'll work on traditional commissions until I get a new one but if you'd like a refund for what I have done so far then send me a note

I'm just gonna go cry in a corner

AND NOW my computer keeps restarting itself
I restored to a point and startup repaired, it's still doing it too.
I-I-I-I.......

Man I just came back from like a 4 hour tennis thing. I just want to pop my legs off now.

But just now I was looking more into college, although I have before just I only skipped over it briefly. And I saw how damn expensive it's going to be.

Pretty much I'll need about 13,196.56 by next year ready so at least I won't have to struggle to get it later on. This'll be for residence and all. I'd much rather just live at home and take the bus to school but the college being 6 hours away doesn't seem such a good idea.
But actually I just checked up on housing and there appears to be a great deal so I guess I could already cross off 4,000 of that.

I've really got to get a job.
I don't know where to start, but I need one.

I've already got like 400$ saved up towards it but it's not nearly enough.
So um, fuck.

But even then that's only if I'd get into the college, though it's not that known anyways.

Just um, reality is a bitch.

Things have been brought to light when they already were.
I really really hate most of the people I meet that are around or younger than me. Mainly because of how they act.
I've only found a few people at my age in which I can't say I dislike anything about them.
This generation, these fucking people. Overtaken by media and the whores that put themselves in the fronts where they are worshiped without talent.

I rarely ever whine about things, but this is a matter that pertains to the future of the first world. I cannot do anything about a second world or third world countries other than give to small charities. I'm talking about more than Canada though, I'm talking more specifically about America.

Their role models, what has happened. Why do I have to see little 5-year-olds wearing a cut off shirt and a short skirt. Then people wonder why there are pedophiles. They're acting like adults, as are teenagers. Why do I have to see teenagers flaunting symbols that they don't even understand or let alone bother to look up.

It isn't only the role models that do this, it's themselves. They are the idiots that choose to follow them, there is the magic of ignorance and just switching your mind to more pressing matters. Like the human condition, what else lies beyond our planet or creating new machines to revolutionize. It doesn't have to be something big, just doing something you love that makes people think is beautiful, but you'd much rather party and make out with boys then wonder why you can't get a relationship.

I know people like this, and I can say that my respect for them dwindles. All the booze and the people that you look up to will one day fade and maybe even disappear if you die in a car crash or end up working a job you hate because you didn't work to something.

It's a good thing there are people that enjoy simple things, look for meanings and make humanity think that makes it a place worth communicating in.

Just the people that sing about getting drunk, and that the opposite sex is the only goal in life makes me sick. Then they'll obsess over it and then you just want to kinda punch them in the liver. Saying, "wake up man, smell that fresh cup of a mango milkshake! You can make a difference if you try and inspire people!" It is possible. I know I may be talking about other people a lot but I am still guilty of this, hell not to an extreme point. Like I work hard, help people when I have extra time, and try to be reasonable in my decisions and actions. But I'll still do stupid things, have stupid role models, but it's the thought that counts.

My cousin once told me that my generation apparently, has it the worst. The people we are supposed to look up to are revolting in what they do and the kind of message it looks like they're trying to send.

Just stop it teens, tweens and kids. Stop trying to be adults, stop being stupid, stop doing things you don't understand, and stop following idiots.
Oh and remember this isn't about every teenager or kid c: So no panty twisting <3

o o o o o
whoever catches by pageview kiriban shall get a fully colored bust :3

just you have to show me proof so I know you 'aint cheating, I trust ya man just yea UuU;

Um, oh, hey.

I'm sorry baby but we've been moving apart slowly but I swear this isn't the end. I've just been watching more psychological crime movies and they've gotten such a hold on me honey.

Just goddamn.
So good.

I keep working on stuff while watching movies now, now whenever I'm drawing I gotta watch a movie.
So many movies, so little time.
And also Bittorent can't hurry it's ass up.

But so if you know any good movies hit me up, cause 5 movies loading, an entire bookshelf of VCR's, and about 6 cases of DVD's just ain't enough.

In a place where I can laugh a lot, and sing a lot about whaat iii wanntt.