On September 9, I wrote a journal about me suffering from burnout and having bad symptoms that made me unproductive. I was wrong about it.

The symptoms seem to be triggered by my attempts of thinking of something, rather than me forcing myself to make an effort. My only guess it was an extreme episode of overthinking, combined with lack of sleep, which practically overwhelmed me.

As of writing this, the symptoms actually still persisted. But, they are relatively mild compared to that day, in which it's not enough to just stop me from doing anything. Doing the right things could mitigate it temporally, but there's still the chance they could return with enough force under the right circumstances.

I can't really see a way to solve this, but I can make attempts to numb it for a while. I could only hope things just work out.

It's September 9, 2020 when this is written. 4 days ago, I finally mustered the courage to join and submit something instead of observing the community. Loads of idea piling up in my head, and I want to spew it out real hard.

Unfortunately for me, I was too ambitious about it. I thought I could do it. But in just 4 short days, I feel different.
My head hurts. My heart is beating irregularly. My body temperature changes irregularly. I couldn't think properly. I couldn't be bothered to eat anything. I probably have suffered a burn-out.

Burn-out in just 4 days sounds absolutely ridiculous and I am quite ashamed about it. Worse, this is not the first time and all the times when it happened also took this short amount of time to happen. My guess this is the 4th time in my life I felt like this.

Part of me wants a break, but another part keeps saying ideas aren't waiting for themselves to be shared. I am unsure if this thought conflict made it worse.

I just really wanted this to be better.