Happy New Year and Peace out to the old 09 noise!!
Last year sucked pretty much for everyone and well good riddens, that year was crap anyways. This year we all unite and furs will do it up right for once. I'm probably asking a lot but hey the standards need to change and the bar needs to be raised. No more of this crap of how furs are always known as sick perverts that do horrible things in the night and our cons are going to be where the culture is at it’s best.
So kids let's keep furry tight and rock it as dope as possible because I'm pretty sure a lot of us aren't going to stop being furries any time soon. For 2010 and beyond, let’s make this new decade an inspirational one and get back to how we all got here.

Merry Christmas y'all
we all have almost made it through this year. Let's keep it up and make this next decade!
Y'all are the greatest, hugs for everyone!
*sends out love to everyone*

愛の生活！

The science of your days
Is laid bare
Boiling In the Sun
For all the World to see

The birds remind me of what we made
The birds remind me of what remains

~Telefon Tel Aviv




私は助けを叫んだが、助けることはなかった。私は、今私の秘密のボールの時だったと私はその後、誰も知ることが自分自身を嫌う。

~ヴァル

Oh yeah, it's that time of year again and what do we all do? Put on layers of cloths, because it's darn cold.
Mewwww... I fell down and got wet.
Happy Winter everyone. :3

Sorry everyone but that so came out way bad and I'm not going to kill myself. I am having a huge meltdown with myself and I really shouldn't bring it here to FA. Totally not the place for it. Once again I apologize.

I don't know who will win in this battle but when it's over please remember me.
And please tell my wife I love her.

Traveling to the end of the world and what I saw was beautiful. Winter views of breath taking mountains, crystal clear lakes and amazingly wonderful, gorgeous people. Although I really didn't belong in a place so fantastic, so I traveled on. My globe-trotting landed me in a grand city that made me feel welcome with it's alien feel. Adventure called me here and I went as far as my leash would allow. Going here and there, sampling the culture and drinking in the life that flowed in this metropolis. Here I would of stayed, away from the alienation that is my other life but my time ran out and my bonds pulled me in and carried to my next destination.

Sleep boy, sleep...

When I awoke I was on an island made entirely of sand. Ship wrecks and exotic animals were here and here I though of escape but my bonds needed me in this place. They were helpless here and remarkably I was placed at point, this was my chance to showed them how life is is suppose to be enjoyed. We all delighted in much fun excluding when it was time to depart, I was put back in my place and we moved on to some where new. My bonds were in control again and
after many horrendous miles conveyed the last detestation was reached. I lost a numerous year of my life from fright during that trek.
Sadden that I haven't made much joy from of my travels in this part of the world, I clung to hope that I would although I'm sure my bondage is slowly turning my love to gray.
This new place was warm and had alleviation for my mood, in part I did a rude thing and broke from the constraint which I was placed myself and spirited away my majesty. Together we fled in to the ocean and there we made our escaped. There in the water we saw so many beautiful colors and wonders that I was so very grateful to have experience, The though of leaving never entered my mind. Granted this, my bondage found my empress and I, pushing me back in to my place, reminding me that my time has expired for my stay in paradise and that I must return home.

Sleep boy, sleep...

Waking up back in my world I didn't know how to feel, it all was such a trial and even so I experienced moments that were so wonderful, I will cherish them forever. Rubbing the sleep from my eyes, I tucked these memories away in a safe place because it's time to get back to reality and in my world life never slows down but it's is good to be back home.

Oh well, I'm M.I.A.

Like Fox new did a good news story on furries!
I was so shocked and disappointed how they didn't
make up shit about furries or say that there were over 6000
furries in the metro area. just straight froward news broadcast.
come on fox news where's the noise you normally show?!? I mean crap
where is the story of furries punching babies, or some guy fucking a dog.
I think furry has finally hit main stream. sadness.

I know that you're an ocean
After the storm has come to stay
I know that you're the silence
After the sun has gone away

I know that just the smallest part of the world belongs to me
You know, I'm not a blind man but truth is the hardest thing to see

I know that you're the last thing in all of the world for me
I know that you're the worst thing in all of the world for me

~ Telefon Tel Aviv

Dream on dreamer and save your best emotion the by in large and a thousand potion
Dream on dreamer and see the thing won't rise and understand that everything you say is between honestly and lies.
Dream on dreamer and you whisper in turn loose and learn, rise and shine and fall and find.
Dream on dreamer the fear less we pain over a gain drown the loss hairs and eyes and hands
Dream on dreamer smile in slow motion when you’re out of control, cause the revolution won't be televised won't be live, won't happen at all.
Dream on dreamer cause you lived the best that you could but you’re dying slow but way much more twinkle then you should.

After a night of drinking and biking around town, dressed as a cowboy duck tape ninja pimp, that lasted till about 11:30 and getting to bed after an hour more of riding I woke up at 4:30 all peppy to go to yoga!
So hopping on my bike super dehydrated, I was off in to the cold misty morning, which was awesome.
The world looked like a mystic place as I rode to the yoga session. Once I got there it was time to get down to work as I flopped down on the hard wood floor with my thin little mat. I don't need no stinking mat! Just kidding, that floor can be kind of hard but I digress. Now realizing that I am kind of drunk still, thing were looking up because I knew this would make my session all the better, more relaxed and loose. Mostly I was happy because the day before a huge dog slammed me in to a fence sideways at the animal shelter that I volunteer at, so my bruised body was stoked.
The session was on and it started out all chill with some nice dub playing which I was just listening to but then the teacher was like fuck this and up the level to expert! I still was doing well even in all the funky weird stances that twist your kidneys and make you wanna pop. Only falling down twice from this hard as crap, twisted air plane pose thing, simply because my calf muscles were so tight just gave out on me, besides that the whole thing went rather well.
The session ends and I'm shaking from a number of things I'm sure but the sun was up and I needed to bust out for my new day, For some reason things have been great and I only hope I can make everything better and help as many people as I can. I guess I just need to give more then I can get.
Any ways till next time peace, mew.
=^.^=

So Aesher, Phorphaux, and I all starting finally trying to practice parkour, which I felt went pretty well. I mean we don't really know what the hell were doing but some of the moves that Aesher, and Phor did were better then what I could do and damn yo the next day I was sore! I guess getting a good night sleep after working like that is necessary, I was a wreck.
I guess I'm getting too old or I'm more out of shape then I thought or both. Lol
Alright guys let's keep up the hard work and before we know it, it will be on.

Kk, I been having like the worst last two weeks of this year and omg this year has been hella ghetto! But kitten is like the coolest girl in the world, THE WORLD! I been such a emo kid that it's been no fun around here, She lifted my spirits with just a hug and now things have turned around to like more then I could of thought possible! Move to come!

KITTEN YOUR THE COOLEST!!!

Depression has overcome me, the list of causalities from this is long... Moving on, I have ideas, lots of ideas. I think I'm and going to make as many of those in to a reality. I feel betrayed by myself and the disappointment is something I have to make in to anything better.Ugh.. sorry for these stupid short post but I feel I have no one I can really say these things too. Although, I do feel sorta better for witting this and I know my head will get better, I just need to snap out of it.
I have ideas.

well yeah. I miss a lot of peps.

So I this chick Nikkia showed me this graphic design magazine Swindle, which had a a load of dope stuff in it but it also had a article on furries. It was some good stuff, check it.

http://swindlemagazine.com/issue19/furries/

P.S. I got more tats...

Further Confusion 2009
fur con doubletree furries
gay stand-up Devon fisting

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h30iLfveRbk

Kitt and I just seem to going even though we burnt out last week but life just keeps coming. Well I guess I should bring everyone up to date on my life that's ever out of control. So starting way back, I met this chick Nikkia. She's hella cool and well an all around bad ass that is way in to anthropomorphic. Me and her are going to take this damn sub-culture over because damn it this culture need it to become a true art form. I mean we all put enough work in to it.
Moving forward in time She and I started making furry gear and well she's way faster then I am but the her motivation is inspiring to say the least. We work in our stuff right up to the moment of the con but I hit a snare... I was arrested on a DUI that kind of fucked everything and everyone. I'm so pissed off at myself for pulling something so stupid, I let everyone down.
Pick up and move on though right? I lost my dream bike in the whole deal which added to my heart break but whatever, after a crap load of screaming and getting my ass kicked Kitt and I were off to FC two days late. Ok this is where things start to blend together and I could be wrong. We show up and we see everyone standing there and no one sees Kitt or me so I try and check in but we don't know the room number. I yelled at Devon and wow everyone was stoked to see us, they all screamed as if a rock star just came on stage. It made me pissed at myself for making them wait and all that noise but also kind of happy they cared which was made more then obvious.
Kitt was like WTF is this I have gotten myself in to after a lot of explaining of what to do and don't do like the hot tub... *shivers* she was like dude this is wack but after all was said and done she had fun. We just wish we had more furry gear because all that I really had was my tail and my tats and template spots. :(

Drinking, drinking, dancing, drinking, furry porn, drinking, yiffing, sleep for 20 minutes then drink some more and go dance. That's pretty much the con in a nut shell.

Devon had the sickest panel probably in the entire con because he made the "funny" funny. If you weren't there you missed out, you really missed out. I think the next day me and kitt when to Santa Cruz and hung with my punk friends, I drank some more and got super happy which made me walk ghey... probably caught some of it at the con. On the way back to the con we were stuck in traffic for 2 hours because of the worst accident I have ever seen in my life, I hope that everyone was ok.
Sometime in there we went to San Francisco, talk about nothing but crazy people and chaos. I loved it but I was so tired from my 20 minute naps I took every night that it made things rough. Meeting up with Kris and Devon (writing as if you know them) we went to the Castro district, which was super fun and I got oggled a lot, that part kind of weirded me out which is super hard to do to me. The night was super cold and Kirs drove with the top down, what was so fun and it brought out Devon's true form, I can't say but you wouldn't be surprised if you found out.
The next day we flew out of that hole and damn yo, we haven't had time to catch up at all. I went straight from the plane to class and Kitt to work. It's been like that non stop. Anyways thanks for reading my crap and leave a comment because this is so glossed over version, that i have time to write. Peace and love everyone.

Where are you staying?
The Double Tree I think?

Where will you be most of the time during the day's?
up and down the block.

Who will you be with?
Devon, Wild Nate, not the lame one, and Girl Val.

Do you do free art?
Ya, if I'm feeling it.

Do you do trades?
Damn right yo!

Do you do commissions?
Totally, Im' not hella fast though.

Do you have prints/ CDs?
non

What suits will you have?
hopefully a partial.

What is your gender?
Male

How old are you?
31

How tall are you?
5' 9''

Can I touch you?
Why in the hell would you want to do that, girl Val will kill you. :P

Can I talk to you?
Duh, of course you can but I'm one chatty dude.

Can I buy you lots of drinks?
Of course, although I'm cutting back grips cause I'm in mad training mode this year.

Can I give you lots of money?
hehehe, if you can spare it, I'm a poor cat.

Can I hug or snuggle with you?
I'm cool with a hug but I'm not the hugging type.

Are you nice?
Sort of...

This has been in the works for sometime now and for some reason it didn't hit me till now. My sexy lady is going to FC this year and is going to party her tail off. To clear up some confusion, my wife's name is Val as well as my name is and it's only appropriate that I take her to Further Confusion this year to make it more confusing. I'm just surprised that she's going because she's not a furry and really only gets along with small hand full of my furry friend, so this is going to be very interesting con and hopefully she has a rocking time like my first con was. Hopefully I can convert her, eh it's worth a shot.
ugh... 2:34 am, I just woke up because I rolled over on to my back and well that hurt a lot. I'm getting ink done and omg I so can't wait for it to be finished. I been wanting this since I was 17 and after a lot of contemplating I said "F#@& it" and did it. I'm so happy with the little I have done but this thing is going to take a year to finish. Ink isn't for peps that can't deal with pain cause it was painful and bloody. I'm probably never going to take pics of my tat because I'm just that way, I'm sure plenty of y'all out there will see it though.
Kitten (Val) is calling and it's time to sleep again.

Well I have burned out the turbo for this year and I'm going to try not to skimp on sleep ever again because I really did a number on my self through out the year.
I did meet a grip of really cool people this year and some I was too intimidated by and some friends that I think I will have for a very long time. Hell this year was probably one of the worst and best of my life, I don't know if I'll be okay after all the damage I have done but no matter, I'll have to live on and make things good. I know I'm being cryptic again but it's best this way because what would I be with out some mystery?
For the new year coming, I hope to keep the friends that I have and to make better relationships and even better experiences. I know that sounds hella lame but I do. Oh and about my art cause to my friends know I can do way better then what I have posted. My art took a major hit this year because of.... things but from now on I plan to be a slightly better artist and put of shit of what I make. I mean damn I did improve a tad.
To a wicked year ya'll, let's make this next one like 1999!

Peace!

C'est la vie

Ah yes, things are looking bleak in America but hey I think that's just cause everyone is angry, sad and feel hopeless about current events. I personally been dealing with noise all year but moving through it and making the best of things is a technique that I need to master, I use to be good at being an optimist but I started to let little things affect me.
Enough of being weak though I have way to many people in my life like that at the moment. The huge problems that seems to plague me with the ones I know is that they turn more towards to apathy, sadness, hate, non-confrontation and my favorite anger. I personally chilling the anger because I'm trying to get back to how I was and not let the little thing affect me. As for other people and all there's missteps, I can only try and be there for you all but damn does that get taken advantage of, I never seem to get any reciprocation.

As for other fun stuff that has been going on, good friends are all moving away to the magic land of California where your dream comes true I guess. I worry about them because that state is hella fucked for money and they can't pay anyone anything out there and the cost of living is through the roof. Although if they have a dream that they want to achieve and really really work for it they can get it, just there timing makes it hard.
I also have been getting a lot of random people that want to fight me because they think I'm gay, this is where my anger gets the best of me because I can't stand intolerance! A person should be who they want to be and I'll step up to fight for that, even though I really shouldn't but people that start shit really are never going to learn from non-violence or violence, their just dumb. I just have to keep thinking of non-violent ways because a lot of chaos gravitate to me.
Lastly I have to give a moment of silence for Rob at my work he died of skin cancer and that dude was a bad ass downhill biker, he also made me laugh.

I think I've made it, I hope it's over because I'm going to move on even if it isn't.There has been so much damage that I have caused I can't have any more happen or I'm going to start losing important pieces in my life. Although having been to this hell that I created, life is much sweeter.
I feel like I have been awake for days and been beaten, I guess it shows too. I have lost a lot of weight and become pale and very tired looking and my mind is in a constant fog where toughs come to me slowly.
Fixing all that is wrong will take a grip of work but nothing comes easy and I'm up for it because I need to earn my way back and make it better then it was before. This is going to be fucking hard, I feel so tired, like haven't slept in days and I'm weaker then I think I have been ever. Time to over come.

To myself "get up boy and make something happen."

Thanks to all that gave a damn, you let me know I'm something.