Today I had to write a post about it on my ru media, and I duplicate it here just in case. PLEASE read this. It happened for so many times I can't keep it anymore.

I DON'T ENDORSE people sending me anything intimate/sexual towards ME personally. I draw NSFW, yes. Artistic nudity here, practicing actual porn stuff on the second account. It DOESN'T mean I want any relationships. I don't want your nude photos out of nowhere. I don't want to have virtual or actual sex with you. I don't want vulgar dirty talk about my irl photos or my sonas. Most of my characters are PROHIBITED to do any NSFW stuff with them.

I do discuss NSFW stuff, I definately enjoy working with my customers and NSFW commissions, I can be more open about it with friends, but when it crosses the line and is aimed at me by mere stranger without my consent - I'll block you. And also you'll fucking spoil my day by doing that, so I'd politely ask you not to be a creep <3 I work hard on accepting NSFW art of mine, it's my therapy, I was SA'ed several times in my childhood and I don't want to go through these memories over and over again. I want to view sex as something beautiful and passionate without feeling threatened again.

If you're not being weird about me as a person, you have nothing to worry about. I suppose people who need to be told this won't listen anyway, but I'm tired of harassment and I just want to get this off my chest.

Hey there! My laptop completely died lately and I had to quickly replace it, which resulted to my temporary absence here. Also I had the same connection problems as before, but it was my internet connection issue mostly and I couldn't replace it with mobile internet because of shutdowns :( They became permanent here, I'd never got even a minute of connection. Now the problem is fixed. I only get used to new device and it took a lot of time to reset everything there and adapt to new drawing place.

I wanted to warn that I'm going to delay raffle prize for a while, I really need to work for money at least for these two weeks to compensate the spent amount. If you wish to help, my price-list is featured on the main page and I also got sketch slots here: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/61097390/

or recent adopts: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/61912463

or my recent YCHs (new ones are going to come as well):

https://www.furaffinity.net/view/61881465/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/60745941/

I'm also making new pack of rabbit adopts and have a ready base for dog ones, though I'm not sure they are viral around here, but my other language subs usually like them so I can't resist :0

hello! This summer I tend to do art longer, signing in less. it happens due to different reasons which all are quite affecting my productivity:

1. I have to use VPN to access FA and sometimes it takes effort I'm struggling to put in (it's the least important reason, that's going faster than before, I'm used to it)

2. I live in a region involved in war, that's why we have internet shutdowns, partially by now, but they can last for weeks, so if I'm somehow ignoring you - it's possibly because I temporarily losed access. You can contact me on Telegram @Igia_vant, it usually works sometimes. For now it's only mobile internet shutdowns, but some regions already have full shutdowns without even phone calls (i'm goofy when I try to explain something in english lol but I hope you get it)

3. I'm a mentally ill person, and usually I try to fight it and work nevertheless, trying to finish work sooner, but recently I've been taking the whole working time for 2 months. I'm sorry if it's long for you, I have quite a bad situation in real life now, there's a lot of hardships which trigger panic attacks and add pain to episodes of bipolar shit :(. I didn't break any deadlines of course, but I really feel bad for making something easy for me for so long. I wish I was healthy, but I'm still in process of changing doses of my meds.

4. I try to develop my skills in NSFW art, and actualy I find it even... pleasant? like, I feel free finally. I'm not afraid or repulsed of sexual stuff, hiding it to force myself to make money. I really enjoy drawing my characters with their camaraderie, I make funny porn, and it's actually feels like healing (unfortunately I'm a survivor sooo-). Well in general check my activity on !

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I wish I could be like other artists..... scheduled, collected, right. But unfortunately, I tried, and I feel lacking something crucial. I want to connect with people, bringing personal ideas, but also somehow earn money... eh I'm a chaotic monkey guess I'll have to work with what I have

still promoting my NSFW acc! There's new YCH!

https://www.furaffinity.net/view/61495672/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/61495672/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/61495672/

I opened a slot on my NSFW account since I need new examples of 18+ work!

https://www.furaffinity.net/view/61163802/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/61163802/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/61163802/

After recovering I became active and I've reached 650 followers so rapidly, it's a big number for me on FA! Thanks!!

I've started a raffle where you can get a free artpiece from me!

https://www.furaffinity.net/view/60927575
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/60927575
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/60927575

So I have a two month working time which is quite a lot, but mostly it includes the necesserity of personal art for me and other unexpected situations, mostly due to health. I'd really wish it didn't affect that much, but I don't even feel that bad as bad I get disfunctional at these moments. So no matter how hard I tried all the commissions were turning out shitty after I had some stress about the payments (well lol I lived with one dollar on bank card). Stress provokes disorder and the disorder spirals into inability to actually solve the problems causing that stress. Looks stupid after now I actually just...... eh, solved everything in an hour. I didn't break any deadline, but usually I do everything way faster.

So these days I was focused on three things: 1) personal artwork 2) working a lot in my currency payments to make my own living, which of course multiplies the amount of work 3) seeking for connection among other artist to ease the stress. I'm chatty (way too much) so I needed connection a lot, got 600+ followers in my native language.

I was waiting for verification for 1.5 months though it should have been 7 days. Not because company did anything wrong, but I simply filled all the links wrong :0 and I was too anxious to figure it out so I was delaying it and......... I can't explain myself I'm afraid of oficial talks :D yesterday it turned out to be very easy to make and i was verificated and payed literally in an hour. But only when I braced myself for a stupidly simple act. Lava.top is actually really top tho :D it took me some work to prove myself, but it's the best way for now in my place.

Also, I changed my laptop finally. Well, took the one my father had lol. Mine was literally a zombie, I'm shocked I can actually work without waiting for each brush movement and my artwork won't be deleted/broken magically.

So all of this happened just yesterday and I did 3 artworks in a day because of inspiration :D And I'm really motivated to work now when I know I won't stay without money just because or my artwork just disappears randomly. Somehow it took me a month to simply figure out how to manage with such simple tasks???? But yet my artstyle I've been practicing at changed a little and I like it, many people mentioned softness and ideas and that what I was moving to. Now I feel way more confident I guess, so yeah speedrunning art :DD

I finally figured lava.top out, and checked it with some customers, which was successful! Let me tell you about this new service:

1) it is something like a payment platform for content creators like Boosty and Hipolink are (they unfortunately don't work in my case anymore). But rules there are stricter, I'll explain it lower.
2) There you can use Paypal for payment like we used to with Boosty/Hipo
3) The posts there are strictly moderated, so to create a product for sale I have to thoroughly explain what exactly I provide and often the moderation declines my posts, for now they approved one speedpaint and refused to accept another identical one, they're very weird, but I manage :D Sometimes it might take to create "tutoring" posts, "consultations appointments" or whatever, BUT!
4) They have a donation link, and I accepted payment through that. It supports Paypal. My balance "held" the payment for declined post, but donations go through successfully! Still I experiment with this source and I don't know whether I should create these "DeCeNt!!" posts for sale or could just use the donation, I'll figure out each case with you personally so don't worry, I take the responsibility for that since it's my work and you''ll get all the instructions needed!
5) even if they don't quite understand artists' field of work by now, I'll try to explain to moderation what am I doing in these posts. They're working still on this service, it's new, so I hope to connect with them well! My work is allowed by the rules, since it's online products with visible result (physical goods or mystical-like services are prohibited, but art is allowed of course!)

ALSO! I returned access to Discord, I know FA notes can be irritating so it's easy to communicate with me there: sine_dolore

I'll let you know if anything changes, I also figure the EasyStart now, I've got issues with verification there some years ago and I see I need to work with them again, so I am in the progress of getting this method too (it supports PayPal as well, it's been a while really since we could do so, it's refreshing even if it's way harder than it used to be once back then....... I'm sorry if you meet issues while working with me, I try to do my best for your comfort <3)

https://www.furaffinity.net/view/60193045/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/60193045/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/60193045/

still sharing links to my new NSFW acc!

https://www.furaffinity.net/view/60186281/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/60186281/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/60186281/

I created an account on BlueSky! I don't know why, but guess it can exist ^^

https://bsky.app/profile/sine-dolore.bsky.social

Still promoting my second account. This time it's simple artistic nudity because I really want to improve at least simple backgrounds (I'm afraid of them...)

https://www.furaffinity.net/view/60153124/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/60153124/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/60153124/

I've posted two YCHs on my nsfw account there!

https://www.furaffinity.net/view/60129435/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/60129435/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/60129435/

https://www.furaffinity.net/view/60128993/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/60128993/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/60128993/

I deleted all the NSFW artwork, so there's a new account for 18+ stuff!

I tried out doing shmexy pictures and it actually goes pretty well, I like it and wanna try out rendering all these forms, it's not even horny thing it's artistically inspiring :DD I don't feel triggered anymore, more than that I actually found it relaxing and helping to accept sex as a quite nice thing to draw!

also I train before doing commissions like that, I wanna upgrade at 18+ genre really so anyone ordering would like the result! Improving-improving!!! :PP

and I opened the 1st YCH in a while, I decided it's better to begin with one char so it's easier than to work with several people at once. Also the starting bid is higher than an usual fullbody because of a lot of slimy details uknow :) but I would be thankful if you eck it out even without bidding if you like this content. I put a lot of effort to this and I'm inspired to learn more about flexibility, figures and such!

https://www.furaffinity.net/view/60112363/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/60112363/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/60112363/

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Also, if you want to commission anything NSFW, you're free to note me! Check out my TOS, because I won't draw anything too bad or triggering, I prefer my artwork to be lively, soft and satisfying, rn I might be sensitive to disturbing requests like any violence :(

I'm jabbering again like a chatterbox (wow I know the word "jabber" I don't know if I used it right :DD I have a good mood sorry

it is sketchy because I made it quick, actually one of the customers already saved my wallet, but this adopt is still available till tomorrow for low price!

https://www.furaffinity.net/view/60110028/

I had another psychiatric check, and we finally came to the right conclusion. I tend to share a lot about it because my artwork (and my whole life) depends on my condition. Maybe some people don't like that oversharing, but I really can't do it other way. You can imagine, I even write about it in a foreign language. That's what I have at this moment:

1) I've got three disorders. Bipolar, GAD and PTSD. I don't ask for pity of course, it just helps to understand me and my personal art more, if you want :D

2) I manage quite well. I have a low level depressive episode, though it is compensated by my followers. I've got almost 300 followers in Telegram and they really saved my mood.

3) GAD is medium. I've mostly got physical sympthoms of anxiety, I endure it passively, yet sometimes it comes in the way when I xan't draw with shaking hands.

4) PTSD - I had a flashback recently, a really disturbing one. My brain managed to dismiss it into a joke, but it's not the first time, and I've learned skills of coping long ago, so it's not a problem.

5) about personal art. Even though I've got commissions and really need to work a lot to earn some money, I still strictly follow the schedule. It's very important for managing impatience, workaholic behavior, bipolar impulsiveness. So I will to the personal work, it helps me a lot to cope, to put my feelings into it. I try and suceed the deadline of two months, I think it's optimal. Sometimes I get vety anxious and feel guilty for drawing personal stuff while people wait for their art pieces, but I'm very sorry I can't be productive without rest and self-expression... I'm very, very grateful for understanding that thing. I'm still trying to find balance. (God, how much I'm eager of balance.)

6) I've got recepts for 6 months. Many things will change then, I'll move back to home, start calm life. We're still looking for this tiny spark of balanced therapy, because treatment of depressive episode will increase anxiety, anxiety treatment can provoke depression, too much anxiety provokes manic sympthoms..... Many, many things are shit becausr of comorbid. But I'm quite proud that I manage. sometimes I calm down and I'm fascinated that I have the ABILITY to calm down to rest, to find new energy and continue living, working, noticing new things. Helping my family as much as I can, seeing them from new side. Cooking. Crocheting. Interior plans. Little things I see now.



(My keyboard got insane and didn't correct my grammatics or whatever it is, so I could word it very silly :D)

In conclusion I want to say one thing: I have progress. I feel all the emotions. I've got lingering signs of low self-esteem, I shake because of attention. But I'm glad. On my day off which is already glhere by my time zone I want to do a very important work for me. And then I'll start hard working for income. It feels like a new chapter. Scary, yet so tempting. And I'm not afraid of future now.

While I was busy with healthcare and actual survival for years I barely watched the followers number, but WOW there's more than 600 already! It's quite a special number for me because about this number I had on ru resurses before I had to leave it behind due to laws and some company politics. ANYWAY, happy to see you here, I noticed that since I started actually trying and also getting treatment I started progressing, at least at stable posting :D Thank you a lot for such attention!

The schedule works PERFECT, I follow it strictly. Working days are balanced with days for rest or personal artwork (I'm addicted to drawing haha). With good and measured rests I do commissions/ychs/otherwork way better and feel enthusiastic about it! Medication is still being figured out, guess I'll have doses increased, but it's already NOT EVEN COMPARABLE with untreated state. Guess by now this shit is moving to an interphase, at least I don't hear voices anymore (yay lucky HJHHSAHAHA)

within last weeks' days off I created and described the pack of my new chars in a 'setting' (plot?? we use the word setting for a world you develop in your head heh) All of them are somehow therapeutic for me, representing different states and details I like to pay attention to. Guess there's no harm for a little useful hobby. I decided to be open-minded, venting in the raw. Like, art exists to represent, and my psycho adventures are kinda filling every day of my life so........ I hope once I'll finish it in a decent way to post here, by now it's just wry sketches.

as for work, I'm SO thankful to all the customers, you're all were and are kind to me in a way I couldn't ever imagine. I've always loved working with people, I see a lot of mistakes in my art but I'm eager to bring the joy in caring for ordered art deeply. I don't actually understand if my prices equate skill and measure my artwork or not (haha I live for 200 usd per month max, so I don't care that much about survival it's usually going fine, the excess income goes to my family to better their lives). But I'm still very thankful to everyone commissioning because the main thing it allows me to have THE BEST JOB in the world! <3

I'm a chatterbox even in not my native language, so yeah a wall of text :D thank you all for following me again!

Shitposting in journals becomes a tradition :D

This year was outstanding and very unusual. It was filled with so many events and new experiences I could never imagine. 2024 was the year when I finally decided to become a full-time artist instead of my degree career path. I know it's risky, but I'm eager to improve constantly and try my best!!!

FA users were the ones who always supported me, and I adore all of you HEAVILY!!! Thank you a lot for all the support, the commissions, you all change my life to the best. I want to do the best art I can for you, I would never imagine I could have such a welcoming place. I'm just an ordinary artist but I met so much positivity for me and my art.... Thank you again!

My health is better now, the most normal level I think for now! I still struggle with recognizing interphases, but I hope that's it ^^

For personal art, I have some ideas I could implement in my art too. I stopped sci-fi temporarily, rn I have no mood for reading literature about it and I'm more focused on self-knowledge. Eve and Rex aka my two sonas have my full attention now, they help me a lot to relax. I also made a schedule as my therapist gave me this advice. It's actually really helpful!

I plan to do a new 2025 price-list, I won't change the prices, but I want to redesign it, put new examples and focus on painting. I train every day now, try to learn new things and also watch old artists from history a lot. Maybe this time I found something I can keen to.

So, welcome to my page and Happy New Year everyone!

I disappeared (again) due to health issues. I'm still changing medication, starting from the scratch each time I get new prescriptions. For 3 months I had a rather harsh episode including hallucinations (which I haven't encountered for 4 years before this october). I decided to work on my personal artwork for a while and couldn't even warn about this, just didn't take new commissions.
With all this happening I decided to change my personal life completely, as far as I can't work in the field I get education in, I took the hardest decision in my life to abandon uni. It might be a bit stupid to quit education at the last year left, but I simply don't see purpose for the diploma I will never use, while all the studies make my symptoms worse. For all my life I valued education most of all: always succeeded academically, devoted myself to science, got a free place at uni in the capital of my country, had a passion to the hard profession I understood well. I'm very thankful to my uni years for socialization, new skills and knowledge, all the youth experiences, but as it was before and happens now, my disorder takes away everything good. Yet I'm glad I could fight to this point, taking the best of my student life.
Now I have good plans, I don't give up: I pan to find the best (or, at least, decent) scheme of medication, and then I plan on developing my art skills and move in art destination. Also I'm glad I could find common ground with my family and even first goals: to rebuild my house, to learn more about gardening and so on - something stable, grounding my wild condition. Also I want to finally focus on my own setting of characters, I still like them and not bored, which means a lot after all these years. I don't know how everything will result (I still can't predict or plan my future and can't promise anything good), but I'll be trying!

The treatment I mentioned in previous journal is going well, I feel good again! Got a stable sleeping schedule, social phobia just disappeared. Lately was busy with exams and papers for practice, it's so surprising to be able to make phone calls, speaking with people without even background anxiety. Btw I will practice in the zoo, it was a great luck to get there. I still continue drawing, I don't get tired from simple tasks and it's giving me a lot of hope. I am working on an adopt right now, I will continue the commission right after, and then I'll open some ychs or discount commissions, I haven't been in work too long haha, so don't lose the offers out of your sight if you're interested in purchasing something ^^

Some people were quite concerned about my condition so I wanna let you know that I was at the doctor, he approved the previous mania and the current mixed episode of mine, and now I'm changing the treatment scheme. From today I'm going to take lithium, as far as the previous meds didn't help that much. To be honest it has so many side effects I am afraid a bit, but I'm ready for this. I don't know if I will be able to draw these days I'm on the cancelling one medicine and starting a new one, but I'm writing this to keep you informed. And again, thanks to everyone who supported me these days!

sorry for swearing but fucking fuck
i wasn't happy&healthy, i was manic. My family, my friends, my groupmates, my roommates, everybody was telling it to me the last 3 weeks. I have zero criticism to this condition, telling that they don't understand how much of a better person I am now. Spoiler: I am NOT.

I made a pile of stupid decisions, like giving up my exams, changing profession, piercing angel fangs BY MYSELF WITHOUT ANESTHESIA WTF, dying my hair lilac, spending all of the money I saved for future and even more. I had no sleep at all without being tired, and it goes with being very productive in drawing, making videos and physical activity (dancing 10h a day is INSANE for my level). Of course, I had a rapid speech, people rarely managed to understand my words. Because of no sleep I hurt my eyes again but it seems to be tolerable. And, surely, I've been taking my meds haphazardly.

I guess I have to visit the psych once again :) I hope it happens soon, I wasn't planning for this, but I have to find the time. It doesn't affect drawing schedule, just venting on the journals once again haha

I won the battle with allergy, so my eyes are recovered and I'm in ready-steady-go for completing commissions and uploading more! I need much less sleep now too, and do much more than usual, idk where is all of that energy from, but you know if life gives you lemons :D

I also have a huge pack of ideas for the setting world I created in my head during last week, so when I complete writing the plot (it's just a thing for myself), there may be some artwork of my new characters. It's anthro lesbian sci-fi with some psychology implication, not in the "deep meaning" way, but more close to inserting some psychotic things I deal with into it. Of course, all of that is going to be after I complete the commissions, thanks to everyone waiting!

Hello! I want to make you know that I will be less active during next few weeks. The reason is my hayfever, and it makes watching at the monitor painful and hard. Maybe I will check the site from time to time, but working on the art feels dangerous for my sight. The meds which helped with allergy the best are now incompatible with my BD therapy, so symptoms are not gone fully until I find some new medication. There is a huge amount of the trees where I live, whose pollen is my allergen. I hope you understand, thank you!