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Poetry Endorsement: Bosun
Posted 5 years agoAt a friend's recommendation, I checked out 
Bosun on FA.
Here's the poem I read, and therefore her page.
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/32484017/
It's been a while since I haven't completely understood something. Then again, I do enjoy difficult video games and it's a lot of the same concept: you're entering into something you're going to grasp by degrees, not right away.
I don't want to spoil the poem--because discovery is such a gratifying accomplishment--but I believe it's a poem about a person's torment of their alcoholic father, and a desperate escape. "Lady Bligh" is a cheap brand of rum, which the speaker's father enjoys.
As for references to "tutti," "cresc," and "pizz," just keep a browser window handy if you don't know music. These are added as a silent music queues. Crescendo, the next part is getting louder! PPP, pianississimo, the next part is extremely quiet!
It's a fun spice that I didn't know existed in poetry.
So, summarily, check this out. Learn about "Mister Sun" and the poet's strange journey. You'll be satisfied once you get it. May take a couple of reads; I know it did me.
Bosun on FA. Here's the poem I read, and therefore her page.
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/32484017/
It's been a while since I haven't completely understood something. Then again, I do enjoy difficult video games and it's a lot of the same concept: you're entering into something you're going to grasp by degrees, not right away.
I don't want to spoil the poem--because discovery is such a gratifying accomplishment--but I believe it's a poem about a person's torment of their alcoholic father, and a desperate escape. "Lady Bligh" is a cheap brand of rum, which the speaker's father enjoys.
As for references to "tutti," "cresc," and "pizz," just keep a browser window handy if you don't know music. These are added as a silent music queues. Crescendo, the next part is getting louder! PPP, pianississimo, the next part is extremely quiet!
It's a fun spice that I didn't know existed in poetry.
So, summarily, check this out. Learn about "Mister Sun" and the poet's strange journey. You'll be satisfied once you get it. May take a couple of reads; I know it did me.
Writing Commissions Open!
Posted 8 years agoOh boy, let's do this. Message me directly if you're interested. I'll take the first five that confirm.
Have a special sexy encounter in mind? Want your character in a small adventure? Hire me!
What I Will Write
Mostly anything. No Rule 34 (copyright issues), no Cubs in sexual situations.
Message me if you have any questions; I reserve the right to refuse any commission but I promise not to be shitty or to kinkshame. I do customer service as my real job.
As for more extreme stuff, like the Alternate (Hard) tab in fchan? Will consider.
What I Have Written
Short stories, NSFW. Fairly vanilla M/M and M/F stuff, some orgies and light bondage. Check out my credentials at
https://varzen.sofurry.com/stories
Big recommendation for the folders "The Fairy-Fox's Fantastic Sexual Adventures" and "Jahaliya."
I've also written full-length novels Gratitude and Attitude, purchasable through Rabbit Valley Comics here:
https://www.rabbitvalley.com/item/8.....ort-and-A-Kita
https://www.rabbitvalley.com/item/9.....ort-and-A-Kita
Prices
Prices include edits.
$20 USD per 1,000 words for works less than 20 pages; it's approximately $5 per page.
$24 USD per 1,000 words for works between 20 and 40; it's approximately $6 per page.
$28 USD per 1,000 words for works over 40; it's approximately $7 per page
90% payment expected at the time of the first draft, final 10% on the primary edits.
I will do an additional editing pass if requested; at that point the word count should not drastically vary, and therefore the price will not change even if the word count changes.
Timing: give the first draft 3 pages/day, same with editing.
The Method
Give me a synopsis and summary; I'll smash out a first draft for your approval.
Then I'll edit it and submit for re-approval.
I'll do a final edit if requested.
Also an Option
Additionally, if you want, we can schedule a time to hang out on Google Docs and you can watch me write and/or edit!
Make comments in real time!
Tell me I'm being a verbose clod!
Run me off-topic with discussions about bats and umbrellas!
Lion King + Dark Souls = The Jungle Book (2016)
Posted 9 years agoI can't rave enough about this movie. Absolutely fantastic reimagining of the 1960's classic, while trying a few courageous things of its own. The wolf family is more sympathetic, their cubs are relentlessly cute, Shere Khan is a malicious monster, Bagheera may be the best animated cat of all time (and an excellent, hard-nosed mentor), and the jungle all in all is more dangerous and deadly for a man-cub working to survive in an animal's world.
I was actually enjoying the dramatic sweep so much that I was scared that Baloo would just be an annoying, 20-minute clown show that wouldn't advance the plot. Fortunately enough, this is not the case. And gone are the days of King Louie just "monkeying around." I won't spoil the scene, but I didn't know that character--or his voice actor, Christopher Walken (wow!)--was capable of being imposing.
Long story short, Mowgli learns to "git gud" when he can no longer live as a wolf and a scarred, man-hating tiger wants him dead.
See it. It's tense and harrowing, especially if Zootopia left you wanting with its social issues fluff.
I was actually enjoying the dramatic sweep so much that I was scared that Baloo would just be an annoying, 20-minute clown show that wouldn't advance the plot. Fortunately enough, this is not the case. And gone are the days of King Louie just "monkeying around." I won't spoil the scene, but I didn't know that character--or his voice actor, Christopher Walken (wow!)--was capable of being imposing.
Long story short, Mowgli learns to "git gud" when he can no longer live as a wolf and a scarred, man-hating tiger wants him dead.
See it. It's tense and harrowing, especially if Zootopia left you wanting with its social issues fluff.
Furry Short Story Commision!
Posted 10 years agoPlease enjoy Jahaliya: Coastal Encounters
Prince Ryoga Miscon's new vassalship, the tropical Amazonian land of Myscindyr, could lose its economy to an indignant Orca King for Myscindyr's past sins. Back must our swarthy wolf go with his buxom Jahaliyan coterie to exercise their special brand of diplomacy. A challenge shall be laid for the land-dwellers; can they prove themselves to this kingdom of marine mammals?
Their best swimmer, the otter warrior Corsi, may learn a thing or two about the hazards of the wide open blue ...
This is a 31-page, two-part short story commissioned by the excellent kchishol1970. Readers are entreated to enjoy.
https://www.sofurry.com/view/856947
Check out all five of my Jahaliya furry-sexual-fantasy-erotic adventure stories here!
https://www.sofurry.com/browse/fold.....p;folder=41583
Prince Ryoga Miscon's new vassalship, the tropical Amazonian land of Myscindyr, could lose its economy to an indignant Orca King for Myscindyr's past sins. Back must our swarthy wolf go with his buxom Jahaliyan coterie to exercise their special brand of diplomacy. A challenge shall be laid for the land-dwellers; can they prove themselves to this kingdom of marine mammals?
Their best swimmer, the otter warrior Corsi, may learn a thing or two about the hazards of the wide open blue ...
This is a 31-page, two-part short story commissioned by the excellent kchishol1970. Readers are entreated to enjoy.
https://www.sofurry.com/view/856947
Check out all five of my Jahaliya furry-sexual-fantasy-erotic adventure stories here!
https://www.sofurry.com/browse/fold.....p;folder=41583
FurSquared! (Short Version)
Posted 10 years agoHey all!
FurSquared was brilliant. I saw a lot of great people there, had a lot of fun in and out of my batsuit, Zephyr.
If you haven't gone to F2, I highly recommend it. Lots of energy for a small con, but still with a chill atmosphere. So if you need to kick your feet up, you can do that, too ;) Con Chair Alkali and the rest of his amazing crew made for a super weekend.
Shout out to all the wonderful friends I saw this weekend. Had hilarious times with some of you, and some remarkably deep chats with others of you.
Now I just gotta deal with the con crash. Ugh. Had a glass of milk and honey to get the blood sugar up; going to get a nice bedtime.
The weather's been so pooty, snowy, and grey in Central IL; can be hard to keep the energy up.
Ah well. Again, FurSquared was great, the people were great, and I'm exhausted. Cheers all!
FurSquared was brilliant. I saw a lot of great people there, had a lot of fun in and out of my batsuit, Zephyr.
If you haven't gone to F2, I highly recommend it. Lots of energy for a small con, but still with a chill atmosphere. So if you need to kick your feet up, you can do that, too ;) Con Chair Alkali and the rest of his amazing crew made for a super weekend.
Shout out to all the wonderful friends I saw this weekend. Had hilarious times with some of you, and some remarkably deep chats with others of you.
Now I just gotta deal with the con crash. Ugh. Had a glass of milk and honey to get the blood sugar up; going to get a nice bedtime.
The weather's been so pooty, snowy, and grey in Central IL; can be hard to keep the energy up.
Ah well. Again, FurSquared was great, the people were great, and I'm exhausted. Cheers all!
Dream Journal: Brilliant! I was Flying.
Posted 10 years agoGoodness, had a lovely dream last night. Somehow, in this mighty hotel-mall that had the riches of Dubai and the architecture of some clean science fiction, perhaps Coruscant without so much neon, I found this black and green bodysuit--it looked like a skydiver's--and put it on. I also found a boomerang and threw it, then proceeded to chase it around the mall.
Now, what was so lovely about the suit that it gave me the buoyancy of a near-astronaut: I was practically weightless as I bounded about this multi-leveled public establishment, to the wonderment of anybody--obviously this technology was heretofore unseen--as I went to retrieve my lost boomerang.
Yes, even in a dream, my boomerang did not flawlessly return to me.
That said, I eventually landed this boomerang in an exclusive palatial garden of a massive guest suite on the sixteenth floor of this massive hotel-mall establishment, where in the next room, a lounge with floor-to-ceiling glass and a couch spanning three corners around a lush carpet the same brilliant night, where I met an entire family in silk, purple-and-black mottled bathrobes. There was a hard-nosed father with perfect cheeks and his hair slicked back, a mother of no special mention, and ten children, ranging in age from twenty-some to one.
I played with the older kids as I, puzzledly, could not find my boomerang, and then eventually escaped, concluded that my boomerang had gone elsewhere.
Eventually, the fun ended; the suit had become awkward and so I walked on the ground instead, ignoring the suit's abilities. I wound up in a courtyard, a boardwalk ring around a lush jungle diorama, thick glass separating me from the foliage, when a man with a familiar stern face came up to me and demanded I come with him.
The conversation between us quickly navigated from my boomerang to more intensive topics. He took me to an executive elevator and we rode it to the sixteenth floor, where along the gaudy galaxy-patterned walls of this hallway were advertisements that had his children in them--this man was either the owner, or a long-time honored guest, of this giant hotel-mall establishment. In one, an advertisement for the very hotel, was his sixteen year-old son in a bathrobe.
I remember that kid being fairly ugly. He had greasy bed-head in his carrot-colored hair--he did in the advertisement, too--and his face had not learned how to properly smile. One side of it seemed to be pulling on his lips harder, and with more precision, than the other, making for a lopsided and deflated display of joy.
My conversation with the father ended at a balcony overlooking the mall. As I saw the customers mill about with their shopping bags, ice cream, and children on leashes, he told me, in the matter-of-fact manner a scientist explains the clouds, that I'd interrupted his calm Saturday afternoon family time and I was expected to recompense for the disturbance.
I was being sued.
Then I woke up.
Now, what was so lovely about the suit that it gave me the buoyancy of a near-astronaut: I was practically weightless as I bounded about this multi-leveled public establishment, to the wonderment of anybody--obviously this technology was heretofore unseen--as I went to retrieve my lost boomerang.
Yes, even in a dream, my boomerang did not flawlessly return to me.
That said, I eventually landed this boomerang in an exclusive palatial garden of a massive guest suite on the sixteenth floor of this massive hotel-mall establishment, where in the next room, a lounge with floor-to-ceiling glass and a couch spanning three corners around a lush carpet the same brilliant night, where I met an entire family in silk, purple-and-black mottled bathrobes. There was a hard-nosed father with perfect cheeks and his hair slicked back, a mother of no special mention, and ten children, ranging in age from twenty-some to one.
I played with the older kids as I, puzzledly, could not find my boomerang, and then eventually escaped, concluded that my boomerang had gone elsewhere.
Eventually, the fun ended; the suit had become awkward and so I walked on the ground instead, ignoring the suit's abilities. I wound up in a courtyard, a boardwalk ring around a lush jungle diorama, thick glass separating me from the foliage, when a man with a familiar stern face came up to me and demanded I come with him.
The conversation between us quickly navigated from my boomerang to more intensive topics. He took me to an executive elevator and we rode it to the sixteenth floor, where along the gaudy galaxy-patterned walls of this hallway were advertisements that had his children in them--this man was either the owner, or a long-time honored guest, of this giant hotel-mall establishment. In one, an advertisement for the very hotel, was his sixteen year-old son in a bathrobe.
I remember that kid being fairly ugly. He had greasy bed-head in his carrot-colored hair--he did in the advertisement, too--and his face had not learned how to properly smile. One side of it seemed to be pulling on his lips harder, and with more precision, than the other, making for a lopsided and deflated display of joy.
My conversation with the father ended at a balcony overlooking the mall. As I saw the customers mill about with their shopping bags, ice cream, and children on leashes, he told me, in the matter-of-fact manner a scientist explains the clouds, that I'd interrupted his calm Saturday afternoon family time and I was expected to recompense for the disturbance.
I was being sued.
Then I woke up.
Halo 4: Try Not to Cry, Cry a Lot (SPOOLERZ)
Posted 10 years agoReplaying Halo 4, a game that addresses alienation--losing touch with the world around you--and the sweet, keen pain of losing a loved one.
It's made obvious very early in the Halo 4 campaign that Cortana, one of the best "artificial" companions in all of sci-fi, is bordering on rampancy: if she doesn't make it back to her creator, Catherine Halsey, her wealth of knowledge and her massive data banks will continue to process and overprocess themselves until she dies. Cortana is an A.I. that will literally think herself to death.
Parallels can be drawn to that evil of human diseases, cancer or even AIDS. The human body, which is good, becomes corrupted and kills itself. So it's with this mentality in mind that the quote that followed hit me with seventy metric tons of feels.
It's a poignant cutscene, with Cortana using her blessed (turning deadly) wealth of knowledge to enjoy a moment of beauty as John-117 readies himself for a campaign against a superhuman psychopath who wants to digitize all human life (turn them into robots) so that the Flood parasite (zombies) will starve off.
Cortana is admiring an artificial sunset, and even throws in a light-hearted jab against the markedly stoic Master Chief, Sierra-117:
"I can give you over forty thousand reasons why I know that sun isn't real. I know it because the emitter's Rayleigh effect is disproportionate to its suggested size. I know because its stellar cycle is more symmetrical than that of an actual star. But for all that, I'll never actually know if it looks real... if it feels real... before this is all over, promise me you'll figure out which one of us is the machine."
It's absolutely beautiful, the way she gently bemoans the fact that she's never known the delight of the five human senses. It's devastating to think that she may not.
I cried. It was fantastic. Thanks for your time! :3
It's made obvious very early in the Halo 4 campaign that Cortana, one of the best "artificial" companions in all of sci-fi, is bordering on rampancy: if she doesn't make it back to her creator, Catherine Halsey, her wealth of knowledge and her massive data banks will continue to process and overprocess themselves until she dies. Cortana is an A.I. that will literally think herself to death.
Parallels can be drawn to that evil of human diseases, cancer or even AIDS. The human body, which is good, becomes corrupted and kills itself. So it's with this mentality in mind that the quote that followed hit me with seventy metric tons of feels.
It's a poignant cutscene, with Cortana using her blessed (turning deadly) wealth of knowledge to enjoy a moment of beauty as John-117 readies himself for a campaign against a superhuman psychopath who wants to digitize all human life (turn them into robots) so that the Flood parasite (zombies) will starve off.
Cortana is admiring an artificial sunset, and even throws in a light-hearted jab against the markedly stoic Master Chief, Sierra-117:
"I can give you over forty thousand reasons why I know that sun isn't real. I know it because the emitter's Rayleigh effect is disproportionate to its suggested size. I know because its stellar cycle is more symmetrical than that of an actual star. But for all that, I'll never actually know if it looks real... if it feels real... before this is all over, promise me you'll figure out which one of us is the machine."
It's absolutely beautiful, the way she gently bemoans the fact that she's never known the delight of the five human senses. It's devastating to think that she may not.
I cried. It was fantastic. Thanks for your time! :3
"Hail Meth, Smoke Satan"
Posted 10 years agoLife is good, folks. You can get blood from a turnip if, after burying the hatchet, you turn it.
My job is boring and I'm great at it. I wish I'd get a new one.
I've submitted "Attitude," furry sequel to furry book "Gratitude," to Rabbit Valley. Hopefully they publish it by May. It's got a hellish Deacon as a badguy and a gangsta bisexual hyena with a big dick as the good guy. It's fucking badass and fucks good ass.
Been playing "Binding of Isaac: Rebirth" on PC. It's a twin-stick shooter where you play a naked boy whose mother wants to sacrifice you to the "voice above." Kill spiders, worms, and infected kids with your tears as projectiles. Final boss is your Mom, and then Satan. Disney Shit, I know.
Been working on a bald-furry novel. More in half a year. Animal-people are strange, fun, but too Disney. Need something more exposed, naked ... honest. Maybe that's my own Manson (Marilyn) coming out.
Been reading Charles Dickens and Ayn Rand lately, romantic books I've already been through. They're lovely authors; Atlas Shrugged and A Tale of Two Cities paint romantic pictures of New York and Paris I could only imagine. Perhaps I should go to them. The cities, not the dead authors.
You're all good people, though. I walk around as a giant bat for all you addicts of imagination. I love you with most of my extremities.
-Varzen The Father, The Son, The Catamite.
My job is boring and I'm great at it. I wish I'd get a new one.
I've submitted "Attitude," furry sequel to furry book "Gratitude," to Rabbit Valley. Hopefully they publish it by May. It's got a hellish Deacon as a badguy and a gangsta bisexual hyena with a big dick as the good guy. It's fucking badass and fucks good ass.
Been playing "Binding of Isaac: Rebirth" on PC. It's a twin-stick shooter where you play a naked boy whose mother wants to sacrifice you to the "voice above." Kill spiders, worms, and infected kids with your tears as projectiles. Final boss is your Mom, and then Satan. Disney Shit, I know.
Been working on a bald-furry novel. More in half a year. Animal-people are strange, fun, but too Disney. Need something more exposed, naked ... honest. Maybe that's my own Manson (Marilyn) coming out.
Been reading Charles Dickens and Ayn Rand lately, romantic books I've already been through. They're lovely authors; Atlas Shrugged and A Tale of Two Cities paint romantic pictures of New York and Paris I could only imagine. Perhaps I should go to them. The cities, not the dead authors.
You're all good people, though. I walk around as a giant bat for all you addicts of imagination. I love you with most of my extremities.
-Varzen The Father, The Son, The Catamite.
I'm
Posted 11 years agogood.
Been reading a thick novel recently, and have been rather enjoying Atlas Shrugged. It's got a wealth of rebellion against the sort of people who want to sanction the free thought of the inspired person.
Since we're all hairy, I feel it fits. Be you, if you feel it's a good thing.
I've been kicking ass in life, balancing my efforts between wage-slaving and planning out my dreams, and overall I've come down to a base moral:
Be honest with those who respect your integrity, bend the truth for those looking for an easy answer, and never confuse a shot of vodka for a proper shot of genitals to the face.
Be the sort of person you'd make breakfast for.
Been reading a thick novel recently, and have been rather enjoying Atlas Shrugged. It's got a wealth of rebellion against the sort of people who want to sanction the free thought of the inspired person.
Since we're all hairy, I feel it fits. Be you, if you feel it's a good thing.
I've been kicking ass in life, balancing my efforts between wage-slaving and planning out my dreams, and overall I've come down to a base moral:
Be honest with those who respect your integrity, bend the truth for those looking for an easy answer, and never confuse a shot of vodka for a proper shot of genitals to the face.
Be the sort of person you'd make breakfast for.
A Bat Offered to Fist Me...
Posted 11 years ago...and I had to turn him down. While his arm was of an admirable length and the diameter of his fist was within the tensile capabilities of my "whistling Dixie," I couldn't accept such a proposition from a winged creature.
It'd be like opening an umbrella in my ass.
It'd be like opening an umbrella in my ass.
Remake of Myself
Posted 11 years agoI've recently revisited works of a long time ago, but if you're expecting Varzen's book anytime soon, I'm still working on it. On the other paw/hoof/hand/tentacle, if you want another skewer of Midwestern culture told through existentially frustrated furs, that's coming happily soon. It's finished, but we need to put it through a few machines.
WHAT IS IMPORTANT TO THIS JOURNAL HOWEVER
is that Varzen, the character I usually puppet on forums and chat programs, is many years old. He was my inspiration, but then life happened. We all drift and smear, which is overall a shame, but if we set landmarks, perhaps we can return to them.
BUT
I was much more jubilant, jovial, and exuberant back then. And it's given me a great lift--I was such a more naïve fur back then.
AND SO
I offer a cheer to furs that have been in the Yiff for a while. This shit is great, and it's got plenty of room for evolution, excepting the motions it's already gone through.
THE HEART IS STILL BEATING
but it is perhaps to a new rhythm.
NOT THAT YOU MAY CARE
but we all have our heartaches and our drives. We all want to drive a spike through something.
CONTINENTAL
or not, necessarily.
WHAT IS IMPORTANT TO THIS JOURNAL HOWEVER
is that Varzen, the character I usually puppet on forums and chat programs, is many years old. He was my inspiration, but then life happened. We all drift and smear, which is overall a shame, but if we set landmarks, perhaps we can return to them.
BUT
I was much more jubilant, jovial, and exuberant back then. And it's given me a great lift--I was such a more naïve fur back then.
AND SO
I offer a cheer to furs that have been in the Yiff for a while. This shit is great, and it's got plenty of room for evolution, excepting the motions it's already gone through.
THE HEART IS STILL BEATING
but it is perhaps to a new rhythm.
NOT THAT YOU MAY CARE
but we all have our heartaches and our drives. We all want to drive a spike through something.
CONTINENTAL
or not, necessarily.
TMI Tuesday
Posted 11 years agoIt is TMI Tuesday, and I have been buttoned up, all too demure for too long.
Ask me something; I shall respond in earnest.
Ask me something; I shall respond in earnest.
Friend Codes! Mine: 4742-6891-6769 Got a Nintendo 3DS!
Posted 11 years agoI finally bought one! Here's my friend code: 4742-6891-6769.
I only have Luigi's Mansion: Dark Moon for now, but let's be friends! :D
I only have Luigi's Mansion: Dark Moon for now, but let's be friends! :D
Friend Codes! Mine: 4742-6891-6769 Got a Nintendo 3DS!
Posted 11 years agoI finally bought one! Here's my friend code: 4742-6891-6769.
I only have Luigi's Mansion: Dark Moon for now, but let's be friends! :D
I only have Luigi's Mansion: Dark Moon for now, but let's be friends! :D
Jive Talkin'
Posted 11 years agoThe gas from our mouths is often unmonitored, but oh so often we should breathe sweet, minty expulsions provocative and pointed.
Oughtn't we consider our expressions? Speech is a piece of mind--conversational intercourse, exposure quite intentional. Shouldn't we speak as if more sensitive parts of our physical selves were exposed?
We are little; consumables outside of our wrappers. We have sweetness to be advertised, smooth nougat and nuttiness to be enjoyed.
Let us talk so they may suck on our words.
Oughtn't we consider our expressions? Speech is a piece of mind--conversational intercourse, exposure quite intentional. Shouldn't we speak as if more sensitive parts of our physical selves were exposed?
We are little; consumables outside of our wrappers. We have sweetness to be advertised, smooth nougat and nuttiness to be enjoyed.
Let us talk so they may suck on our words.
Now that I'm thinking about it...
Posted 11 years ago...I should really post more of these. "Journaling" just seems like shorthand for "unsolicited voicing of rumination. " Which, nothing inherently wrong with that.
I just wish I had more time for hobbies. Time can be more precious than cash sometimes.
Varzen F. Dralmort
I just wish I had more time for hobbies. Time can be more precious than cash sometimes.
Varzen F. Dralmort
I'm Drunk, but I'll Allow Me...
Posted 11 years agoThe furry fandom requires rich resources of time with which to enthusiastically participate.
I've written two novels, the second one (Attitude) a manuscript of cud in the able jaws of editors, and the first one: Shameless Plug, Sh-Sh-Shaa! http://www.rabbitvalley.com/item_88.....nd-A-Kita.html
But anyway, with the disclaimer of obsequity: I've often seen more instances of earnest humanity within the fandom than I have in honest, bald life. We pink, furless beings are oftentimes caught in the rat race, no pun intended, and I don't mean to denigrate human society: we've many noble endeavors in the naked world.
Let us not forget, however, the vivacious rejoice of the transformed world: there is beauty, melodrama, and hilarity within us all. Sometimes, it is in finding different ground to root in that we may truly flower.
Champ your teeth and wag your tails. We're all in this together.
Cheers,
Varzen F. Dralmort
I've written two novels, the second one (Attitude) a manuscript of cud in the able jaws of editors, and the first one: Shameless Plug, Sh-Sh-Shaa! http://www.rabbitvalley.com/item_88.....nd-A-Kita.html
But anyway, with the disclaimer of obsequity: I've often seen more instances of earnest humanity within the fandom than I have in honest, bald life. We pink, furless beings are oftentimes caught in the rat race, no pun intended, and I don't mean to denigrate human society: we've many noble endeavors in the naked world.
Let us not forget, however, the vivacious rejoice of the transformed world: there is beauty, melodrama, and hilarity within us all. Sometimes, it is in finding different ground to root in that we may truly flower.
Champ your teeth and wag your tails. We're all in this together.
Cheers,
Varzen F. Dralmort
Midwest Furfest: I can't believe it's not PCD!
Posted 12 years agoI laughed, I cried, I hugged, I cuddled. This post-convention depression is nothing more than withdrawal.
Everyone that saw me and my batsuit, Zephyr, made this convention one to remember. If you made me smile, and there's a lot of you that did, thank you. You're a shining star in my black velvet sky.
Everyone that saw me and my batsuit, Zephyr, made this convention one to remember. If you made me smile, and there's a lot of you that did, thank you. You're a shining star in my black velvet sky.
Thor 2 Review (Major Spoilers): The Bad Twist Ending
Posted 12 years agoNormally to discuss a major twist of the movie so close to its national release would be uncouth, but with how impactful the twist is for the integrity of Thor 2, I feel it is important to merit discussion. Summarily, the reveal at the end of the movie, while easy to predict for anyone familiar with certain movie tropes, is a slap to the face for the two hours that come before it. Here come the spoilers, back out now or never.
Thor and Loki have a vitriolic relationship. Loki and Odin, his adoptive father, have no relationship. Odin hates Loki. While Thor, in the past, has believed there is some good in his adopted brother Loki, this has all but vanished with Loki's megalomaniacal acts in previous movie The Avengers. Thor is by now well aware that Loki will betray him and Asgard any chance he gets. Now imprisoned on Asgard, Thor coldly lets Loki stagnate in his cell until halfway through the movie, Thor must get off Asgard and the only way left is Loki's secret passage known only to him.
In sheer desperation, Thor releases Loki with the stern warning, "If you betray me, I will kill you."
Thor and Loki escape Asgard, and they confront the movie's main antagonist. Thor releases Loki, and they fight together as a team. Loki is fighting the henchmen of the antagonist, Thor is fighting a giant bruiser as the main antagonist escapes. Thor gets pummeled into the dirt, Loki rushes over and kills the giant bruiser, but not before this brute runs Loki through with a sword.
Loki has heroically sacrificed himself for Thor, all because Thor put his trust in Loki. The scene ends with an emotionally anguished Thor ruefully proclaiming to everyone who would care, "Loki died with honor."
We fast forward almost an entire hour, Thor has beaten the main antagonist, Thor goes back to Asgard, and refuses the crown, because he's seen why Loki hates Odin so much: Odin is a tyrant king. Thor again tells his father that Loki died with honor, Loki is a good man, and then leaves the room.
Odin's shield falls, and it turns out that it was Loki sitting in that Odin's throne. At least for that scene. Or for the entire second half of the movie? Where's the original Odin? How did Loki get back to Asgard? How much of this had Loki planned in advance, and how could he have planned it in advance? How did Loki survive a giant sword being rammed through him?
A couple things I quickly want to address: I know in the comics that Loki is the eternal antagonist of his brother Thor, and killing him in the movie would go against all sorts of comic book canon. The thing is: comic books go on for series at a time. Movies have a much clearer beginning and an end. If Loki doesn't die, then he hasn't changed. He's somehow--implausibly--planned this grand deception so he can directly infiltrate Asgard. It cheapens the entire experience: there's no character development and our hero Thor has accomplished nothing except for beating up an (albeit impressively powerful and conniving) evil elf and saving the Nine Realms--FOR NOW.
It feels like a cheap cash grab and cheap fanservice to yank away everything that Loki seemed to do for Thor halfway through the movie. If Loki hasn't changed, who has? All this guarantees me is a sequel, and if it's the same tripe that is afraid to commit to tangibly effecting one of its main characters, I doubt I'd be interested.
Thor 2 was funny, its action scenes were top notch, but much of the emotional resonance it builds during the movie is dashed by this cheap end twist.
My advice? Leave the theatre before Thor leaves the final scene.
Thor and Loki have a vitriolic relationship. Loki and Odin, his adoptive father, have no relationship. Odin hates Loki. While Thor, in the past, has believed there is some good in his adopted brother Loki, this has all but vanished with Loki's megalomaniacal acts in previous movie The Avengers. Thor is by now well aware that Loki will betray him and Asgard any chance he gets. Now imprisoned on Asgard, Thor coldly lets Loki stagnate in his cell until halfway through the movie, Thor must get off Asgard and the only way left is Loki's secret passage known only to him.
In sheer desperation, Thor releases Loki with the stern warning, "If you betray me, I will kill you."
Thor and Loki escape Asgard, and they confront the movie's main antagonist. Thor releases Loki, and they fight together as a team. Loki is fighting the henchmen of the antagonist, Thor is fighting a giant bruiser as the main antagonist escapes. Thor gets pummeled into the dirt, Loki rushes over and kills the giant bruiser, but not before this brute runs Loki through with a sword.
Loki has heroically sacrificed himself for Thor, all because Thor put his trust in Loki. The scene ends with an emotionally anguished Thor ruefully proclaiming to everyone who would care, "Loki died with honor."
We fast forward almost an entire hour, Thor has beaten the main antagonist, Thor goes back to Asgard, and refuses the crown, because he's seen why Loki hates Odin so much: Odin is a tyrant king. Thor again tells his father that Loki died with honor, Loki is a good man, and then leaves the room.
Odin's shield falls, and it turns out that it was Loki sitting in that Odin's throne. At least for that scene. Or for the entire second half of the movie? Where's the original Odin? How did Loki get back to Asgard? How much of this had Loki planned in advance, and how could he have planned it in advance? How did Loki survive a giant sword being rammed through him?
A couple things I quickly want to address: I know in the comics that Loki is the eternal antagonist of his brother Thor, and killing him in the movie would go against all sorts of comic book canon. The thing is: comic books go on for series at a time. Movies have a much clearer beginning and an end. If Loki doesn't die, then he hasn't changed. He's somehow--implausibly--planned this grand deception so he can directly infiltrate Asgard. It cheapens the entire experience: there's no character development and our hero Thor has accomplished nothing except for beating up an (albeit impressively powerful and conniving) evil elf and saving the Nine Realms--FOR NOW.
It feels like a cheap cash grab and cheap fanservice to yank away everything that Loki seemed to do for Thor halfway through the movie. If Loki hasn't changed, who has? All this guarantees me is a sequel, and if it's the same tripe that is afraid to commit to tangibly effecting one of its main characters, I doubt I'd be interested.
Thor 2 was funny, its action scenes were top notch, but much of the emotional resonance it builds during the movie is dashed by this cheap end twist.
My advice? Leave the theatre before Thor leaves the final scene.
For One Carnal Night
Posted 12 years agoThe night of demons, flames of iniquity licking our lower carriages as we trudge burdened by our sins towards an assured end, the liquid and squick of concupiscent dreams running from our breast--
This is the night we lashed out at the beast of shame and sensibility, delivering in tight post office bootyshorts a heartbroken manila folded-and-spindled spirit upon which we insist our tired, our poor, our huddled mass of flesh yearning to break free.
We wore a diaper filled with candy and hung hogtied from an old oak tree, and the people struck us with their staffs until it all spilled out.
Blessed be James McCloud the father, the son Fox, and the wholly unnecessary Krystal, from whence our porn once commenced in deluge.
Amen.
This is the night we lashed out at the beast of shame and sensibility, delivering in tight post office bootyshorts a heartbroken manila folded-and-spindled spirit upon which we insist our tired, our poor, our huddled mass of flesh yearning to break free.
We wore a diaper filled with candy and hung hogtied from an old oak tree, and the people struck us with their staffs until it all spilled out.
Blessed be James McCloud the father, the son Fox, and the wholly unnecessary Krystal, from whence our porn once commenced in deluge.
Amen.
FA, I need your help.
Posted 12 years agoSo I'm working on the follow-up to Gratitude and I can't, for the life of me, remember the nickname for the food-play fetish. It's not plopping, or slopping, or... mopping... any input? I'm srs, gaiz, this is integral to the story (no it's not).
Love By Satellite on a Pastry-Baked Tuesday Morning
Posted 12 years agoIt's warm here in Illinois, and the Summer shows no sign of wanting to subside. It's cheerfully unaware it's worn down its previously warm welcome and here I am just sitting waiting for the page to turn.
I'm standing here with my toes in the mainstream, watching it soak my socks and I could swear the fur's coming off my toes. With nearly every spare reserve I have I think furry and I think video games but at work I try and put in a decent smear of elbow grease but I find it hard to go any further without fear of falling in and losing my snout for a bluntnose human's face.
I work customer service, which any of you who have walked plantigrade or digitigrade through that cow pasture are familiar with its difficulties: impatient people and people with the same problems for eight hours. I don't mind fixing problems, but if it's the same one for the entire day then it's hard to sympathize with your story. I've been hearing it since I got here, sister.
And on the other hand, I have stories running through my head: of a zombie plague as told with the tone of a children's book, of a bioshock infinite parody (it's fap tissue; nothing serious) and my co-author and I are close to finishing the manuscript for Gratitude's sequel, which here is Gratitude (http://www.rabbitvalley.com/item_88.....nd-A-Kita.html) and you ought to buy it.
Regardless, there's that constant fear that studying for a more complex job in my company may steal time away from that, but on the other fuzzy, clawed hand should I stay in my current department I will surely languish.
There's a time to dream and there's a time to live. Waking up is just as hard as going to bed.
Cheers, my fellow deviant hobbyists.
I'm standing here with my toes in the mainstream, watching it soak my socks and I could swear the fur's coming off my toes. With nearly every spare reserve I have I think furry and I think video games but at work I try and put in a decent smear of elbow grease but I find it hard to go any further without fear of falling in and losing my snout for a bluntnose human's face.
I work customer service, which any of you who have walked plantigrade or digitigrade through that cow pasture are familiar with its difficulties: impatient people and people with the same problems for eight hours. I don't mind fixing problems, but if it's the same one for the entire day then it's hard to sympathize with your story. I've been hearing it since I got here, sister.
And on the other hand, I have stories running through my head: of a zombie plague as told with the tone of a children's book, of a bioshock infinite parody (it's fap tissue; nothing serious) and my co-author and I are close to finishing the manuscript for Gratitude's sequel, which here is Gratitude (http://www.rabbitvalley.com/item_88.....nd-A-Kita.html) and you ought to buy it.
Regardless, there's that constant fear that studying for a more complex job in my company may steal time away from that, but on the other fuzzy, clawed hand should I stay in my current department I will surely languish.
There's a time to dream and there's a time to live. Waking up is just as hard as going to bed.
Cheers, my fellow deviant hobbyists.
About My W-I-P Novel, Ander's Zombies
Posted 12 years agoFor those of you still watching and for those of you who've glanced over my submissions gallery...
From now on, I'll be working on my Ander's Zombies zombie novel internally until the work is complete with subsequent plans to publish. I've the plot sketched out and am bursting with ideas for this book which centers around the mother of a young child who becomes ill with a horrific disease and the resulting catastrophe it brings to her life and to her city when it attracts a heavy-handed government agency. The Sacrosanct Center for the Republic of Internal Terror Crisis Handling--the S.C.R.I.T.C.H.--cans the zombie outbreak before it spreads--but what about the inhabitants trapped inside? Are they a stricken citizenry to be sorted, treated, and saved? Or are they canned goods, shelved to age until ready?
And what of the mother, the Dalmatian Delia Mae Dapplewood, whose son started this whole thing? What will the S.C.R.I.T.C.H. do with her? For that matter, what will her friends, family, and neighbors do with her?
From now on, I'll be working on my Ander's Zombies zombie novel internally until the work is complete with subsequent plans to publish. I've the plot sketched out and am bursting with ideas for this book which centers around the mother of a young child who becomes ill with a horrific disease and the resulting catastrophe it brings to her life and to her city when it attracts a heavy-handed government agency. The Sacrosanct Center for the Republic of Internal Terror Crisis Handling--the S.C.R.I.T.C.H.--cans the zombie outbreak before it spreads--but what about the inhabitants trapped inside? Are they a stricken citizenry to be sorted, treated, and saved? Or are they canned goods, shelved to age until ready?
And what of the mother, the Dalmatian Delia Mae Dapplewood, whose son started this whole thing? What will the S.C.R.I.T.C.H. do with her? For that matter, what will her friends, family, and neighbors do with her?
Pax Maine
Posted 13 years agoThe sun poured through the venetian blinds like broken egg yolk, like angry insects that flew in the gaps of my sleep mask, tickling my eyes. The bed was no longer a nest of respite, but an operating table where my own excitement picked at me scalpel and forceps.
I couldn't sleep. Max Payne 3 was out today.
I am this close to running out to GameStop and buying a copy. I know that Amazon is shipping my order to me as we speak, but...
Seriously, gaiz. James McAfferty's voice is a sensual tentacle massage in your aural canals.
I couldn't sleep. Max Payne 3 was out today.
I am this close to running out to GameStop and buying a copy. I know that Amazon is shipping my order to me as we speak, but...
Seriously, gaiz. James McAfferty's voice is a sensual tentacle massage in your aural canals.
B-Day Party and Funstuff--Wit' Sum Cocoa Buttah.
Posted 13 years agoYesterday I celebrated 
saiskunk 's birthday with a few friends, including 
yoyowolf and 
tigorgan and 
capriciouslunisc and others. Was a grand old time, had ice cream cake and beer and it was all really great; watched the old Street Sharks show and went to karaoke. saiskunk was cute as ever; happy birthday, luv~ and it was really funny doing "Pretty Fly for a White Guy" with him. tigorgan did really well on some songs and even yoyowolf sang--you can't go wrong with Hotel California. 
captian_dammit91 even made it, which was great, but he didn't get to sing. I know how he loves Alanis Morisette...~
Maybe I should switch bars, though. "Drunk Todd" always is there, and always sings "Balls to the Wall."
I got pinned with "For Those About to Rock," even though I wanted "Whole Lotta Rosie." I still nailed it. For those about to murrypurryfurry, FIRE!!! We salute you.
Got some writing done on Ander's Zombies today; the more I write about Delia's dilemma the more it breaks my heart to break her world. Zombie romps are played for a lot of laughs, some cheap thrills, some scares, but really...nobody bothers to think how heavy it is. I suppose it's comforting that the world's about to end, that you can shoot your problems away, but seriously. It's like the black plague or the AIDS epidemic with more gunplay. One thinks it s a bit of a copout to have the ENTIRE world engulfed--the world must go on after the fact. I must explore alternatives besides "five assholes and one douchebag run out into the world, and everyone but the sexy bitch dies."
*Rubs chin* Indeed...
saiskunk 's birthday with a few friends, including 
yoyowolf and 
tigorgan and 
capriciouslunisc and others. Was a grand old time, had ice cream cake and beer and it was all really great; watched the old Street Sharks show and went to karaoke. saiskunk was cute as ever; happy birthday, luv~ and it was really funny doing "Pretty Fly for a White Guy" with him. tigorgan did really well on some songs and even yoyowolf sang--you can't go wrong with Hotel California. 
captian_dammit91 even made it, which was great, but he didn't get to sing. I know how he loves Alanis Morisette...~ Maybe I should switch bars, though. "Drunk Todd" always is there, and always sings "Balls to the Wall."
I got pinned with "For Those About to Rock," even though I wanted "Whole Lotta Rosie." I still nailed it. For those about to murrypurryfurry, FIRE!!! We salute you.
Got some writing done on Ander's Zombies today; the more I write about Delia's dilemma the more it breaks my heart to break her world. Zombie romps are played for a lot of laughs, some cheap thrills, some scares, but really...nobody bothers to think how heavy it is. I suppose it's comforting that the world's about to end, that you can shoot your problems away, but seriously. It's like the black plague or the AIDS epidemic with more gunplay. One thinks it s a bit of a copout to have the ENTIRE world engulfed--the world must go on after the fact. I must explore alternatives besides "five assholes and one douchebag run out into the world, and everyone but the sexy bitch dies."
*Rubs chin* Indeed...
