Awareness of what exactly ptsd, anxiety, and depression actually is, since everyone thinks they know better. Most folks think its a choice, the intrusive thoughts and flashbacks, memories, outlook, personal choice, and the people who suffer with those issues(like myself) are just choosing to have those thoughts, choosing to not get past whatever is causing them, and choosing to be miserable and struggle, too lazy to work and want to get support from the system or other people. "Just ignore those thoughts", "think of something happier", "those thoughts or memories, or feelings start flooding in, just stop the flood by going to do something else or think of something else, distract yourself", etc etc.

The awareness is, that's not how that works. That's why those memories, thoughts, feelings, are INTRUSIVE, and can sometimes be detrimental depending on the events that caused them. Just like the events that caused them in the 1st place weren't a choice, the reaction or fallout of those intrusive thoughts, flashbacks, etc, aren't a choice either. Something triggers them and they're just there. "Well, avoid those triggers then, duh." Oh gee, if only those with these issues(like myself) thought of that. Avoidance isn't always possible either. For example, growing up in the household I did where I was raped, beaten often, tossed around, threatened, yelled at, mother died in the home(from cancer), or my loved ones and belongings threatened, some combination of these sometimes, if I didn't cater to my old mans wishes the moment he wished to have them, my triggers that make me panic and go into fight or flight and shake or seize in really really bad instances, in response range from as simple as raised voices, to just mildly aggressive behavior like slamming doors or just slamming things; I can even be triggered by loud noises cause it sounds like slamming. I am also triggered by large groups of people and being overly sexual to me when I don't know or trust you, cause of the rape, as it had an audience who just sat there and let it happen. This also causes the intrusion of depressive thoughts since no one was there for me to stop it. Frost that with all the family members who died, and all the relationships that ghosted, those depressive thoughts and feelings force their way in, introducing abandonment in as well(which does not just go away either since it constantly reinforced by blaming and ghosting for being the victim, like being a victim was a choice too).

That's how those issues work. They're like a bullet through the brain. For those who suffer from them, it's nearly impossible to just will them out and stop it. That's why there is medication and a lot of patience and therapy needed, and why some never get over them. That's why so many with those issues often have unhealthy coping mechanisms too, like drug addiction or alcohol(I don't have an addiction like that, but I'm sure some of my copes aren't the best, like clinging to plushies, or following a mate that does feel safe like a puppy does). In truth, telling folks with these issues to just get over it, don't think about it, running away from them or ghosting them after they emotionally open up to you, for their issues, etc, just triggers all over again and makes those issues that much harder to deal with because that is blaming them for those issues, like they deserved to be ghosted and deserved to have those events that gave them the issues happen. Most with these issues hate themselves, already. We hate ourselves more when it's thrown back in our faces as our fault we have them and struggle with them. Think of those intrusive thoughts, health issues, and such as a large heavy package. That package only gets larger and heavier, more difficult to manage, with every abandoned or thrown under the bus as the problem, treatment. When you have a heavy large package what are you supposed to do? Get help right? Not blame the person for being too weak to lift the damn package by themselves

Let's be honest, going off on a tangent, that is how real relationships are supposed to work as well. You see them struggle, you really love them, you help them with it; not always 50/50, sometimes its 60/40, 75/25, 99/1(but not forever if you're patient enough). You're not supposed to dump them and go on to the next and leave them with that weight to figure it out, label them as a burden or the problem. Especially if despite any issues like the main bulk of this is talking about, that person was good to you, and does do their best, try. When you hit a pothole and blow a tire, you don't throw the whole car away over one damaged tire, and you don't blame the car for hitting the bump, you go get it fixed and you wait on it. Why treat people who actually have feelings and can degrade further being blamed and/or abandoned, any different, am I right?

Honestly I'm not even going to dive into physical issues. But don't blame people for those either, like blindness, being crippled, unable to handle things, etc. A lot of the time those aren't their fault either but something they were born with

"We get the world we have today, all of it, when almost all of us want, and want many things, but aren't willing to give back, to reciprocate the things we want. We want, but aren't willing to give back what we wanna get. Some of us want to get rich, but don't want to work for it, or put forth and buy a lottery ticket to get back. Some want loyalty, but are not willing to be loyal. You want a truly loving relationship, but then aren't willing to love back the same way if at all. You want a family, but then don't want to commit and give up freedom. You want the world to be a better place, but you're not willing to help it get there by truly being a better person. You want the world to be open and loving, but then spout your religious hate. We get the world we have today, by the mass of us, being selfish, greedy."

When one talks and thinks of immortality, often tend to default to the body never dying, decaying, aging, however one comes about achieving that, vampires myth, or blood magic, energy manipulation, theoretics.

What is often not considered of immortality, reincarnation. Though a different body every time, if one remembered their previous life, the defining moments in each life that has already past; if they remembered with each new life cycle the previous, the souls experiences over lifetimes growing in wisdom and experience like a library, shelves upon shelves filled with books of memories, some getting dusty but never destroyed, how is that not considered a real possibility and way of immortality? It means while the body did not live in a different time, our minds and soul did, and to remember the old in a new different time, remembering and see the changes across the ages, that's immortality, a more practical version

Just random thoughts

Been having an invisible panic attack all morning. Not like, hyperventilating visible kind, but the kind where I have the full body shakes, trembles, dizziness. Still noticeable but not as. I'd have to be touched to feel the vibration of my shaking.

Yeah, anxiety kinda sucks when it kicks in. I get as chicken as Courage the cowardly dog when it does. What am I afraid of when it kicks in? Uh, umm, emotional and physical closeness, and losing it without explanation or just cause of inadequacies, or losing it cause it's my fault

Don't even know why I'm writing this. No one give a shit, or if they do, they regret giving a shit, regret caring, regret being around, cause such issues are a bother/burden to deal with when they flare up.

🤔 ngl, sometimes I do wonder if service, and subservient isn't a personality. There are times I think and feel that just an act of love and care, is not a personality. Now I want to do some psych study on personality, personalities, and any relation to society, and society as it changes(think that's called sociology)

At least, I think that way when defining personality by things like: able to have a conversation that isn't flirtatious, have things I like and could talk about with passion that isn't just supporting someone, having passions I could engage with by myself and then include others in, things like that. When I define personality based around those things, and not my care and love and desire to be loved, my praise and support, I wind up noticing I have almost nothing to say, and consequently also shut down cause it leaves me feeling empty and like alot more than what I notice is actually missing inside. That can make me look boring and without character or personality defining traits, things necessary to maintain both loving relationships, and friendships

I can both understand why I could look boring and not really engaging enough to keep around long term. But at the same time, folks need to accept me for who I am. Not only that, life isn't always interesting and filled with drama like in shows or movies; there will be plenty of moments where it's quiet with not much going on

Ignoring someone's [be they your friend, family, child, pet, partner] needs [when they are genuinely there for you and your needs], until they stop asking, that is NOT independence, nor teaching them independence, that is neglect. What that teaches is they do not matter, Their voice is irrelevant, Those needs are a burden, and their existence is a bother only to be taken for granted.

If and when you genuinely care about someone, you meet them with honesty, respect, and consistency, with patience.

Sometimes it can look like a friend or family is there to meet you, and at those times it's important to take many moments to verify. If they're switching up, changing what they need or want, then they aren't actually consistently there for you, they are there for themselves, which is called using you. Using you, being used, is not them consistently caring about you.

Seems too many are oblivious to this lesson. Learn it, and be consistent. Abandon those who refuse to learn it or refuse to take notice. One day, they will regret it and genuinely learn the lesson and *then* be consistent

"I'll leave your key to my heart under the mat in case you ever decide to [reach out and] come home[ Mr big growing golden derg T-wing JMM💛🩵👉👈]."

Ik I'm not worthless. I do alot, and always do, always try, always will. To prove it to myself and to you.

"Service, support, and effort is one of the best love languages. To give of oneself and surrender time, sacrifice personal things for the sake of your partner, there's nothing more valuable, than to give up things for the sake of your partner and real love. Love is sacrifice, love is giving." "I am here, I am waiting"

If any really wonder why I've a hard time talking to you or reaching out, opening up, it's not just autism. It's difficult cause as a guy, talking about my feelings, I'm 'being needy'. Asking for anything at all, I'm 'demanding'. Talk about mental or physical health, past, any defining moment experiences, I'm 'making excuses'. Talk about things I like/dislike, I'm 'being selfish'. Speak about my dreams, I'm being 'childish and need to grow up'. And if I don't speak, I'm 'anti-social and/or stuck up'. So like... *shrugs*, whats left to talk about. Heck, if I explain myself and about me, why, etc, I'm just 'throwing a pity party and making excuses, bitching'. So what can I do but keep to myself, shut up, and do everything on my own, never opening up or expecting anything

Life is kind of pointless when you don't have a family, a real family, not one that uses you for status, or transactional gains. A Family that loves you and for you, that you love back. Family that fulfills eachother to the utmost degree more than any indulged hobby ever could.

All the money in the world cannot fill that cup. All the items and hobbies in the world, can't fill the cup a genuine family can. Whether I work 40 hours and earn 17k a year or 300k a year, nothing I could buy with either would fill the glass of a mutually loving and supportive family. No amount of luxury or wealth could fill real family. Luxury cars, luxury house, luxury amenities, latest and greatest things to fill time, got nothing on coming home to family who love me for me whether I'm luxury, or normal, or not, who missed me, whom I missed.

Ironically that's called being dependent and needy these days *rolls eyes*, what a world climate... what's the point when you don't have that shit. What's the point to the wealth or just surviving if every day is another hobby and day done in monotony. Anyway... eh whatever.

I guess this stuff is old fashioned and doesn't exist anymore. Every single relationship these days is based on transaction, fake, and wealth it does seem, and old and healthy is needy and dependent, unhealthy. Don't give enough, or earn enough, or are just old fashioned, then theres no benefit and no climbing the ladder like it's a business. *facepalm* shit gets real, or challenging taking about previous benefit, *yeet* bye-bye. Amazing climate, just stellar. Idk why I'm even bitching, won't change anything or one. I want the healthy but nope, mostly gone. Shits fucked. What's the point. A long life, filled with transactions... oh how meaningful, can't wait to kiss my gpu goodnight.

Reality and with some psychological education, shit in the world and relationships these days needs to stop. It needs to stop being taught that everyone needs to be healthy, wealthy, perfect and normal to deserve loving relationships, to deserve care, and to deserve patience through healing. That mentality is an unreasonable and unrealistic expectation. Everyone has baggage, and everyone deserves love and healing, and acceptance for that baggage, be it alot, or a little. The unrealistic expectation of perfection, and rejection for healing or those in healing, or wanting it, can and does actually make it worse. That's what education is teaching me. If you want care and love for the rest of your life, then you also have to give it. Stop teaching and accepting its okay to reject people just cause they have any amount of baggage, little wealth, especially if they want to change and grow as people, and extra especially if they prove that they want it. Bring those expectations back down to earth which isn't perfect, and don't make it messier by being part of the problem fanning the flames, ignoring/rejecting others healing, need for healing, or your very own

Like to think I'm one of the kindest, most honest and patient people. I hate literally no one, and nothing strong enough to call it hate. I'll hold folks, self included, accountable for behavior be it good or bad, and either like or dislike the behavior, but not hate them. Blame the source and behavior, not the person; the actions can be corrected when they need to be, no reason to hate the whole person or expect the person as a whole to adjust everything. The irony is, regardless, I am often vilified and hated as a whole, for things that don't even have anything to do with character, things like money, or appearances, or sexual preferences, or community status, etc.

I guess no matter how good you are there will always be folks who would rather blame you, than hold themselves accountable and examine what's around them or happened in their own life to make them that way; 'immune' and 'perfect, prideful' and 'above growth and change'

Americans teach money isn't happiness when young, and as you age into adult the teachings change to suggest money is happiness cause you can purchase whatever you want whenever you want it. Well, I'm going to slam that right now. That is absolutely bullshit and not true. When it comes to material things and money, I'm personally well enough off, sustained, and more often than not, I'm still a sad/depressed soul. Why is that?? Because money and physical materials do not make a happy life, they make a more comfortable life. Yes, comfort can help prevent some misery, but that is not the same thing as happiness.
Surely freedom makes you happy?
Kind of. You certainly notice a lack of when you can't go anywhere only because the bank says you can't afford to. The kicker is, so what? Whether you're trapped at home or have the money to travel, you do so alone. Shallow empty connections are the same as being alone. You can be just as happy at home with quality bonds
So where does happiness and fulfillment come from??
Partly independence, emphasis on partly. The other part, is QUALITY connections. Others Genuine love and acceptance of your best and worst flaws and pleasure of your presence, and vise versa.
So where does that leave money?
Exactly where it belongs. Used to sustain life, not define its value or your own. Beyond bare minimum, it's a luxury commodity. The people who judge another's value based on income or how they can benefit your pocket, piss off, you are just wrong, Scrooge!

I stg vast majority of Americans need to learn this, or wind up being miserable and hollow wondering where they fucked up. Bud, you fucked up when you kept choosing wealth and ease, ease of access, over quality and hard work, confidence from earning your marks yourself and maintaining good connections. Everything in life worth it, takes effort and patience. Immediate gratification means just as Immediate ending, easy come easy go.

stateside friend
"Americans have life backwards. They think love is an optional part of life and who we are, that money and superficial bonds, status, how we look in public are of higher priority. As such most tend to pursue quality jobs or quality pay, and have a certain presentation of themselves they want/like, often putting aside quality connection as optional since we need money to survive, but not connection. Americans tend to forget the value of life isn't in wealth, but in how we spend it with people, and how we treat people."
I'll leave them anonymous, but from observation and personal experience... being stateside myself, I can't disagree with his own opinion and observations. While I'm not as diverse as he is in the travel department, I do pay attention and have online friends from all over the place, and it does seem like those who struggle with relationships and quality connections, maintaining and picking good relationships, are mostly stateside. Everyone's got issues, every place, but it sure do seem like Americans as a majority, have shit backwards. Higher divorce rates, higher rate of suicides, higher rate/chance of relationship difficulties, higher rates of financial and emotional instabilities, than plenty of other developed countries.

Hmmm... the written thought... I do wish I had more confidence. Ik what I bring/offer does have value. But no one really wants it so I kind of question just how much value it really has. If I'm the only one who says it has value, I question whether it truly has value. A dollar is only worth a dollar cause everyone else says that's its worth. Since no one really proves by action that what I offer is valuable and desirable, that means its value isn't actually there. People can say they want it, and say it has value, but then show that it's really not worth much to em.

I have enough confidence to have self respect. Just not enough to put up a wall that doesn't make me question the value. I think 20+ years ago what I bring would've had more value to folks. Now it's just like, nope. Least if I go by how often it gets overlooked, and left. Usually under "well I can just do that stuff myself. Why do I need to be with you to get it?" And my only answer is, "idk. I don't offer much else despite efforts. The point is you don't have to do it yourself. It's how I show love and show up. I take things off your plate so you don't have to do everything. I share responsibility so you have more time to do things you want, enjoy."

That's how I see it. More time to chill. More time to enjoy eachother. Shit like that. Or apparently dumb shit like that. But everyone be like "I'll just do that myself. What else you got?" Like I'm supposed to have millions of dollars, good looks, or whatever, or something. Like, what else is there? That's called effort and valuing you so much I wanna make life easier and comfortable for you. Literally offering my services, time, effort, various kinds of support, and body too cause prey and submissive. That's not enough? What ridiculous standards exist these days? Expecting Disney perfect relationships and results without putting effort and time in? And if it ain't that, then it ain't real? That doesn't make any sense to me

That takes irl physical hat commissions? At some point I would like to have a hat made that's the upper half of my anthro sona self skull. The bill would essentially be the upper mouth and nose, textured appropriately to simulate scales and inner mouth, thinking possibly faux leather 🤔. The top front of the hat would be the eyes, and the back would have 2 6inch horns and 2 8inch horns. Horn material something solid and not easily broken, coated with something to give it proper horn bone feel/texture. It wears like a hat but isn't a traditional billed hat. It actually shaped like my sona head, skull

Was thinking vikings sometimes wore the bones of Animals and skulls on their heads like hats. That's where this idea came from, but it's just wearing the upper half of my sona selfs head instead. As if cut off at the jaw joints, and some kind of elastic adjustable strap to hold it in place

In relationships these days but it ain't old school real and healthy love. I believe in old fashioned love. The wife serves, supports, makes the man feel strong, valued, powerful, but also him safe to be open, and vulnerable emotionally without ever throwing those vulnerabilities back in his face. Hes More than just a wallet and dildo. As for the man, the man should give almost the same, but the masculine version, protection, security, sheltering embrace. The wife isn't just a pussy, but a gem, his queen, vulnerable to him, at his mercy, so dominant, protective, and loving mercy is what he gives. There should be mutual give and take, and a respect that goes deeper than money. A desire to comfort and be there for the best AND worst of times. Should enjoy their company and time above all else. No that doesn't mean only them, it's important to maintain friendships too. But the time of your partner is highest. There should be value in each other deeper than wealth and lust.

For real, idk wtf most are doing these days but it's not that. It's playing games and treating people like toys in a chest or boxed lunches. Have enough of that one and ya throw it away. Oh there's some imperfections on this one, yeet. Just, no. That's not a relationship. This one isn't as shiny as this one, I want shiny. Getting rid of coal so close to being a diamond, unwilling to help eachother and aid in making eachother shine, to chase after someone who looks or seems better but is honestly just clean glass. Hit a bump and run away cause it's easier to hermit or Start again than it is to be patient and get through a momentary challenge with them. That's not a relationship. In old fashioned real, you fight for eachother, not against. You don't throw them away unless there is zero chance they'll change or evidence that they don't want to. That is the only time it's acceptable to walk away. That also demands communication if you have any respect at all for them, and if you don't, then you never cared in the 1st place and are a problem you* need to fix. Don't string em along cause you get something, or just cut them loose to wonder what they did wrong cause that's easier than communicating you're unhappy or there's a problem not getting fixed that needs to be.
"Oh but if they're not perfect they aren't for me". No. That's a bullshit excuse and logic. Perfection does not exist. They can be close, but guess what, a real relationship is a garden and both need to tend to it. That's old fashioned. I believe in that also. Idk about the rest of yall out in the world. You tend to that garden to make it perfect when you both feel they're worthy of that effort. Don't be lazy or a coward and yeet it cause it's not perfect right away.... okay, I'm done ranting. Got a little off there. Yeah, old fashioned real, healthy love, effort, I believe in that shit, and it needs to make a comeback. Too many out there playing making people a fucking mess, and making a mess of your own lives without even knowing it yet. How yall making a mess and not knowing it? Cause down the line, you will* realize way back when, you threw away something good to pursue something better, and by the time you learn that, that person you threw away, hopefully picked themselves up and went and found better, and the effort they deserved, so you're high and dry with nothing but regret for playing the game.

"If it doesn't scare you, it's not as worth it. If your future isn't scaring you, it isn't a worthwhile future. Be that jobs, relationships, friendships, etc, if it doesn't scare you, then it's not as worthwhile, cause those are the risks that have worth and meaning in taking, they have the most value to you and your character."

Thank you pastor carl and al. A good thing to keep in mind I suppose, whether you're religious, or spiritual, or not. "God loves more a loving atheist than a hateful Christian. God loves more a loving gay, than a hateful straight. God loves more an honest man, than a lying one. See, you cannot live God's will, with any kind of hate or lies or demoralizing pride in your heart. You cannot act his will, while also feeling pride and ego, supremacy, hate towards others and those who oppose you. You can't charity work or hollywood act your way into eternity with him while also being hateful, or toxicly prideful. To hate others is to hate yourself, and to hate God. To lie is to hate, lacking the morality of God to be honest. To be overly prideful is to hate, lacking the humility to empathize with another and admit mistakes."

Not actually religious, but am spiritual personally, and this makes sense whether you use/view God as a person, or a phrase that's a concept of compassion. Hate of others is just a hatred of some aspect of yourself in that person or persons. Must love and respect yourself, in order to fully understand and love others; to feel that goodness inside.

"God sees those who practice homosexuality as sinful."
Alright. So when you say this and you're a guy, who knows you are loved by another guy, who you in turn value, care for, and maybe even have feelings for, what you're really saying is; 'I'm afraid of what I've been told, and I hate myself for who and what I am. I'm homosexual and I'm in the wrong and evil for it. Im afraid to be myself because of it all'.

"Monogamous Heterosexual is what god intended". Uh, yeah no. Love was. Mankind introduced sexual orientation into it, to be manipulative and control the population, pro-reproduction, hatred, fear. If you got a brain, you should use it, free will and gifted intellect exist for a reason, to discern truth from lies and make the choice to not follow bad orders. You 100% should not be with a female just to reproduce. You 100% should not be with someone who you do not love or deep fulfilling connection. You 100% should not make a family when there is no love. And for sure when you gay, you should not be with a woman in any way beyond friendship. You definitely need to be respectful both of yourself in that situation, and respectful towards the woman; they are not there to use as a baby warehouse or property to own just cause some book tells you to. Use your brain, it's why it's there.

So really the only "evil" or "wrong" is betraying yourself, betraying who you are for another's gain(that's called lying to both), betraying another person by lying, being highly disrespectful, and/or being hateful. Anything that truly violates yourself or another's spiritual center; Which you know will be wrong because you will feel a type of guilt that is very corrosive and hard to move on from.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T6Ct56PwjWk good lesson, it takes courage to face truth. Especially our truths

Honestly, the more I study religion, the more I both do and dont believe it. I believe in it, when its applied to life and the spirit in all things, as an abstract concept and teacher, to have the utmost quality of emotional life, needs, and care; instead of being taken verbatim. When you think about it analytically it becomes unbelievable beyond the abstract and not really possible to have been conjured up by anything other than mankind... It changes every few decades to reflect the new times suggesting its not some law by an "all powerful being" to be followed to the letter, and not meant to be taken literally, but as a true abstract thought and concept to fulfillment and balance, so the "hippies" honestly had it right. The fact it changes also indicates its completely conjured up by humanity to control people with what THEY think and feel is right or wrong, which is why there are inconsistencies from writer to writer, nation to nation, religion to religion, and conflict around it.

Life on the planet existed for millions of years before the introduction of man and eden, so earth and life, is not something made just for man. Life exists in many forms out on other planets as well, which periodically also experience cataclysms(same as earth did between each era) to prepare for different kinds of life, not just earth. If there is any foundation within written religion beyond just control and the interpreters perception, it is most likely, based around life from other planets, galaxies, star systems, or even dimensions visiting this planet in the spirit of exploration and knowledge to further their understanding; much like humanity does with its technology being shipped off to planets current advances can reach. Further study shows even in the caveman days there was no such thing or concept as religion. As a matter of fact, prior to around 6000BC theres no concept of polytheism or monotheism or religion the way it exists today, not even any concept of spirituality either, just survival mostly. However, there ARE paintings and odd texts from those times, of strange beings visiting the planet, and we all understand now that any extremely scientifically advanced society or species when compared to ours would be indistinguishable from gods and magic; thus any non-abstract concept beyond our understanding(even as it grows today) would be indistinguishable from a god and whatever they're expressing. Anything we could be taught by such a being/beings, would be highly susceptible to interpretation, misinterpretation, and malcontent depending on the recipients and their level of intellectual, emotional, psychological, and spiritual development.

Thus my conclusion all things considered, religion and how it is taught today, is complete bullshit. All current writings of it, bullshit. Its fake and by fellow humanity who wished/wishes to dictate right and wrong, and create cages and dissonance between people because hate and misunderstanding are easier to manipulate and control. Religion as it is written today, is a cage with the illusion of choice and free will existing within it. Everything written within it, out of balance when taken verbatim. The only way it makes any sense whatsoever, is when being taken out of the context it is written and applied as an abstract concept, because we are NOT happy when being told what to do, or when we feel hatred, and we are not happy when we feel trapped or misunderstood, or hated for who we are; but we are happy when we apply the abstract concept of religion to how we live and experience life, and tell manipulators to fuck off. The abstract concept of religion, more appropriately named "spirituality", is the real purpose behind it, not the texts and commands verbatim. Remove all the written commands and replace them with free will, deep personal thought, abstract concept, harmony, and balance, and suddenly, not only does it make more sense, but you are more free and happy than you had ever experienced with seemingly everything going your way on cloud 9, because your deepest needs(not to be confused with wants) are being fulfilled. The true "sins" and violations are not what are per say written since they change as well, but things which violate the spiritual fulfillment; for example, murder. Murder violates spiritual nature, even emotional murder violates nature, which is why when we kill who we are to fit others needs or commands, or kill another the same way, or outright take a life, we feel guilty and split, unable to feel fulfillment completely if at all, ever again. The concept of extreme pride is a sin of the spirit, because extreme pride misguides and violates the spirit into horrible acts and hatred which often violates others for personal vanity or gain. If it makes you feel extreme levels of guilt and doubt, it should be considered a sin, because that is the spirit and concept of harmony and balance, speaking to you that you are violating something you shouldn't. If you love another man as a man yourself or woman as a woman yourself and are fulfilled, but feel guilty about it (most likely) based on what peers say or think, that isn't the/a sin; that is the spirit, love and harmony in yourself saying what you need, and its your WANTS(to please those peers) that are creating the guilt; this also ties into the concept of extreme pride, but from the ones making you feel guilty for who you are, just to satisfy themselves based around success, instead of fulfillment. Verbatim religion is a trap to slap a leash and collar on you and the spirit, follow the concept underneath the verbatim, follow the fulfillment, because that is the truth behind the other lies within religion

Also... pretty song https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xm3.....nel=ABBA-Topic and I apologize if it seems any tangent, ill do my best to clear up what I can if asked. Autism brain go bzz sometimes

That mankind is so egotistical to think there is a god, and humanity is his ultimate creation. That the whole world and all in it, was made just for man to use and be prosperous. That every other species is lesser than humanity cause god gave us intelligence and in his image, and not them. So for other cosmos lifeforms that have higher intellect than humanity, they're supreme compared to humans, We're here for them to use, Using our own logic; or theyre not of "gods" creations, yet by Bible words, everything is his creation, including those more intelligent than humans. It's completely flawed on that alone.

I honestly don't believe there is a "god". Everyone is welcome to believe what they wish, but Ill take the nerd and examination side, using that creation of superior intelligence. To me, the concept of a god is man made based on hallucinations or more advanced beings visiting and humanity has passed that down, changing it around to match the needs of society, and their need to control. What you control, you dont need to fear. On top of that, they use it as a way to feel less alone, in an existence they scramble to understand, so it's less scary. As long as there's fear and a lack of understanding, there will be a "god" to justify the stupidity/ignorance, and manipulation of masses.

If you struggle with identity, love, self love... consider this
What are you doing? Why? For whom?Don't burn bridges as you figure yourself, life, and time out. Don't ignore *your* actual needs for real love and real acceptance. You won't get those things unless you accept the real version of yourself, that wounded child version of yourself inside which those it hurts to feel, tells you your real needs. Don't confuse your wants(like approval and conditional love) that involve others, as absolute needs, those are wants. You don't need your parents approval, or anyone else's. You need *your* seal of approval. You need *your* love of self. You need only to value and respect the real you. Wearing a mask and burning bridges trying to love yourself only when in that mask, will bring nothing but emptiness and shallow bonds, because the real needs of the real you, are not being touched. Running from yourself and those needs will only cause you pain and trouble. You'll lose alot more than you gain

It is also acceptance. You are forgiven you know, and worthy of both. You're worthy of chances too, of effort. The real you.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tX8.....tyFootballClub wounder how many are the person on the right, the robin williams, hiding behind projection, compassion, enthusiasm, fake smiles and laughs.

If I wasn't transparent about the fact I have it; Judging from my behavior 95% of the time, you'd never know I have it cause I can fake it to make it that good. Mines harder to treat too as its not a chemical imbalance addressed with medication, but a result of compound traumatic experiences, and physical brain damage from undiagnosed at the time, concussions. Even if I do not vibe with you, there is a reason I do not block people (unless you're a scammer). It's cause everyone needs at least one person who is a reliable ear, who will hear what you have to say. Cause the thing of it is, you don't actually have to agree with what they are saying, to actually hear what is being said.

Ever been upset, weight of the world on you and so heavy hearted its in your stomach making you naseous, but you just can't place a thing, name or face to why you feel that way? Me today, and sometimes. Why, idk.

Idk why people shit on people for talking or asking about such things either. It's valid to feel things, bad and good.