I feel sick to my stomach, broken and beaten... as if hope was given to me, only to be stolen today... you must be wondering why?
Woke up to a ban on a Discord group. Furry drama yet again ruins my time in the fandom. Some other furry misbehaves, tosses insults and argues to staff, but thanks to their manipulative ways I'm stuck with the punishment and demonized... all because I deemed their behavior wrong.
In the past I've endured abuse in the furry fandom just because I've spoken out against bad behavior, including attacks against people involving race, religion, and political views. I've faced bullying and abuse, and even received threats to my health and my life on one furry website. I've never once had staff on a single furry website intervene and help... never once did anything I report matter since it turned year 2008... and I've even had staff on websites partake in the cyber-bullying I endured.
I honestly fear I might go through this shit all over again, and why?, simply because I had not the patience or the mercy to ignore the bad behavior of a single, horrible person who has been causing problems and getting booted from multiple Discord servers for their inappropriate actions and the fighting they enjoy causing because of their desperate need to be the center of attention.
Well, things could be worse, I could be suicidal, but, my medication, and the fact I have some Discord friends at all still, makes me still content enough with my life... it's a crappy life... a horrible miserable life... but it's my life. I just need to deal with it somehow.

I choose not to name names or give details, because, if anything, it'll probably make things worse...

I hope this venting about my problem does not cause you all problems, everyone needs to vent sometimes... it's not healthy to bottle your emotions...

Trump urges small scale weak gun control laws - and what happens? Conservative Republicans and Gun Owners explode! They don't want military assault weaponry banned from being sold to civilians. They don't want Bump Stocks removed, which enables them to shoot several hundreds of thousands of bullets a minute... they don't want criminals and mentally psychotic people to be banned from owning guns, which is a law that is sadly not enforced because of the lack of background checks.
These people condemned Democratic lawmakers for pushing large scale strong gun control laws, making assassination claims and burning buildings and planting bombs and shooting people, but when a Conservative Republican pushes weak ones, they go equally insane?
The NRA Slogan for gun control laws is "the only gun control we need is a steady hand and a quick trigger finger"
That's the official NRA Slogan... which... is kinda scary... but what is scarier is that the NRA, which has ties to the KKK, NeoNazis, and Sovereign Nationalists, believes that the Government is corrupt and evil.
The NRA is anarchist fanatics that need to be opposed, and I think Trump is too much a coward to do that, since they voted for him, and he still is counting on their votes.

People I've chatted with on Discord have boosted my Confidence enough for me to want to draw, so, I drew some sketches of animals from the game Staxel. I put them up on my gallery on my accounts at the websites I'm on.
I'm going to try getting back into drawing. These people have restored my confidence, and have given me hope that I can try and make things and regardless of whether they come out great or not, people will not mock me for my lack of innate talent and will at least respect me for trying and encourage me to do more.
In the past, people have insulted me, said my drawings suck, that I draw worse than a mentally retarded autistic 5 year old, and a lot of these people have never had their comments removed from my art by staff on furry websites when I requested it, until the people who mocked me got banned for insulting and mocking popu-furs who were close friends of staff on furry websites.
I at least hope this time my artistic creativity does not get stifled, even though I do tend to face heavy amounts of cyber-bullying and have never once been helped by staff on any furry website in regards to abuse in those regards.

Center for Vocational Rehabilitation called this afternoon, I'm starting next week, finally. I'm glad to be going to my aftercare program starting Tuesday. Will be going to there Monday-Thursday. I've been waiting a long time to start my aftercare program since leaving the hospital, been over a week... but I'm glad things are going along fine.

It seems that because I never know everything that has happened in someone's past, I will never be able to say just the right thing to help and console them. I will always say something wrong, I will always make a mistake, and will always will be wrong. It's like I'm cursed.
I want to do something good, I want to offer advice that is helpful, and I want to be a good friend. I want to help others, and yet, every-time I seek to do so, it seems that I am bound to inevitably fail, as I will eventually say something that causes everything to fall apart.
I honestly think things are hopeless, and my endeavors to make friends are meaningless. If I was meant to have friends, then I would have such, I would have a family that loves me, and people who would never betray me, and people would find me worthwhile to know and love.
Instead, I am a revolting, annoying, pest, someone unworthy of notice, of time, effort, a waste of space, breath, and time...
Why have I been born cursed to never have a lasting friendship? Or to have my family, my bloodkin, care for me? Why must I be forsaken? Life is cruel, when you have only good intentions, and yet only the worst happens.

I've learned that most people here in the USA, my home, believe a lot of things they call facts, and truths.
I've even had wonderful friendships with popular furry artists shattered, and all their followers hate me, solely because I told them these things are not facts, and are not true. These things that are lies, myths, propaganda, are present in all aspects of American life... things that have no truth to them whatsoever... in regards to how we interact and deal with Canines, Felines, and Rodents, here in the USA.

The first myth- dogs came into existence 6000 years ago, they never came into being from evolving from wolves, they were found and bred by humans, and have no relation to wolves.
Many Americans believe this. They believe no human ever adopted wolf pups or submissive wolves, and raised wolves in ancient times. They believe that all dogs originate from wild dogs. This is what is taught in both schools that teach evolution, and creationism, here in the USA.

The second myth- purebred dogs have existed for 6000 years, and have been the only forms of domestic dogs for thousands of years.
This is another lie. Most purebreds are named after regions, and nations, whose names have only come into existence within the past 3000 years. The most ancient purebred, the Shiba Inu, receives its name over 1 of 2 words, 1 of the words only came into existence 3000 years ago. The only close trace to a Shiba Inu scientifically discovered goes to a mummified corpse that is almost 5000 years old, and it was not purebred, it merely bears a close match to the Shiba Inu breed, more so than to any other dog, whether mutt or purebred, and its not even a purebred, as it contains the DNA of other current 'breeds'.

The third myth- purebreds are healthier, stronger, smarter, and live longer, than any other animal, and all animals in the wild are purebreds.
This is false. Purebreds are the result of multiple generations of forced inbreeding, and while in the modern age it is no longer necessary to inbreed to produce purebred cats and dogs, because there are many many of each breed, most purebred animals are still bred in pairings of siblings, cousins, and parent/child, and this is common among both breeders with licenses AND illegal dog kennels. Animals in the wild do not always pair with direct family members, as is proven in dog, wolf, and coyote packs, in which females in heat separate from the pack to seek out a mate, and males seeking a mate separate from the pack, and wild felines who roam outside their territories which they share with family. I watch way too many animal documentaries.

The fourth myth - all canines, felines, and rodents eat their young with every litter, and you must separate the mother from the young.
This is not true. In times of desperations, an animal with eat one of their young rather than starve, or they will eat an enemy pack/pride's offspring if they are starving and a battle is over. But, outside of those rare circumstances, it is not true an animal will always eat at least one (1) offspring from every litter. Mind you, this myth originates from the time when Christianity began spreading across Europe, and Christians needed to demonize animals as being savage and evil, as being the servants of witches and warlocks, and having been created not by God but by Satan. As such, Wolves, Felines, and Rodents were condemned as doing such acts as proof of why they were created by Satan. In the modern age, some backwards Christians have embraced evolution, and have treated all Canines as the same, which is why Dogs are now grouped in this too.

The fifth myth - Wolves will attack, kill, and eat humans on sight, wolves will never be friendly or peaceful as instinct drives all wolves to attack kill and eat all animals that is not a wolf on sight.
This, is bullshit, lies and propaganda, fear and hatred, spread to encourage the hunting and extinction of wolves. My family has owned a wolf, and a wolf-dog, mind you, it became illegal to own a wolf, and later, a wolf-dog, in New Jersey, under the claim that all wolves and wolf-dogs attack humans on sight with intent to kill on sight. Our wolf never attack a human or any other animal during its entire life (except for bugs and toads, which it ate). Our wolf-dog also never did any attacks on any living thing (except for bugs). And the US Government has only 1 recorded Wolf attack ending with a fatality over the past 100 years... and the victim died in a hospital from an allergic reaction to medication... not from his injuries. 100 years, and never did a wolf actually kill a human being itself. Plus, the US Government has recorded only 6 wolf attacks nationwide during the past 100 years. That's very VERY few attacks. Especially considering that people encounter wolves on a regular basis in Western States. Especially considering that people hunt wolves year round on a daily basis in Western States, as they state that endangered species can be hunted to extinction (every species of wolf in the USA in endangered, and has been for the past 60 years, that's longer than I've been born!). So... yeah... Wolves are proven to not do what this myth says. This myth is a myth. It is lies, propaganda, and deceit.

The sixth myth - All wild rodents have rabies and there is not a single wild rodent without rabies.
This is also not true. If this was true, every-time someone would get bit by a rodent, or come in contact with rodent fluids, like blood, people would be in threat of death. There would be a mass epidemic and our entire continent would be quarantined and everyone living here in the USA would be denied to leave the USA. Not all rodents have rabies. Some do, and some don't. The idea that every wild animal is diseased is ridiculous, cause then they'd quickly turn extinct, let alone humankind could fall as well to the aftermath of the plague animals. Please, stop spreading idiotic claims like everything has rabies and there is no such thing as an animal without rabies, what if someone stupid in the government would believe you? It'd be chaos.

The seventh myth- Felines and Rodents are not fully domesticated or tame, we have only had them as pets for the past 200-300 years.
This is also bullshit. Cats have been kept as pets at Asia, Egypt (which is North Africa), and in the MiddleEast, as far back as 3000 years ago. That's a long fucking time. Also, specific types of rodents have been domesticated or tamed at specific parts of the world. In South America Guinea Pigs were tamed and domesticated as Livestock as far back as 4000 years ago. Rats were domesticated in Asia as pets as far back as 3000 years ago. Mice have been domesticated as far back as 1000 years ago at multiple continents. For God's sake, stop spreading your bullshit that cats and rodents are not pets and are not domesticated or tamed.

The eighth myth- Dogs are the first animal humans tamed 6000 years ago, and cattle and goats are the only other animals we had tamed for thousands of years. Again, this is more bullshit. We had tamed 'canines' 6000 years ago as fully tamed, but partially tamed goes back as far back as 8000 years ago. Even then, Europeans never used Dogs until the Romans introduced them to the Continent 100 B.C., and Europeans did not fully trust the dark skins new animal because they relied on their furry hounds, wolves, for a long time, and they felt their beasts were proven trustworthy while the alien humans were bringing alien beasts that could be dangerous. Back then, alien meant foreign. Anyways, I might as well add, Sheep were domesticated and kept as far back as goats, and cattle, and sheep were more popular than cattle, and goats were more popular than cattle, at certain parts of the known world. So Sheep were another domesticated animal that people ignore. There were also other livestock and beast of burden people ignore. Camels, horses, and chickens. These animals have been domesticated as far back as 5000 years ago. Meaning during the time you all think we only had Dogs, Cattle, and Goats. Sadly, Just because Dogs, Cattle, and Goats were among the first tamed animals, doesn't mean there were no other animals that were first. And all the second tamed animals occurred in a time very close by. Please remind yourself we as a species did not have only 3 animals in our lives for over 3000 years from 6000 BC-3000 BC... you are being, inaccurate. Especially consider that we had multiple continents as well. The third set of tamed animals include Felines and Rodents. Which expands things heavily. It's not solely about Europe and the Middle-east.

Had an episode, almost a waking nightmare, where I barely had any control over my actions, and any knowledge and memory over them. Was supposedly very briefly aggressive followed by intensely depressed and suicidal. Was sent to a medical hospital. After 16 hours,, was transferred to Riverview Hospital. Returned from Riverview Hospital to home an hour ago, had my medication adjusted while at hospital, was there 6 days... no longer depressed or suicidal. Happy and calm. Did some cleaning, made my bed, sorted my belongings, petted the cats, let one inside. I'm happy to be using the computer now. Updated my Twitter, logged into Facebook for the first time in years, and am informing everyone why I was gone from the internet, and not answering my phone, and Skype, and Discord. I'm OK, healthy, and happy. No worries this time around. I believe there is a pretty good chance it is going to stay this way too.

December was an unreasonably hot month with temperatures managing to reach 70 Fahrenheit in New Jersey. We had no snow... and it was horrible. Oddly, this January, we got snow on the December 31 AND January 1, only for it to be gone and melted away already. Two days with enough snow to be considered a snowstorm, with 2 feet of snow! Two cold days, followed with today in the upper 50's, and its like it never snowed at all. Trump is saying he wishes our area would benefit from Global Warming because it is so cold to him. What the hell is cold about this Winter?, and why the hell would we want more global warming?!?!, we already had a summer when it turned over 140 degrees Fahrenheit!, coupled with intense rain storms! My area sucks to live in, and its only getting worse and worse! My stepfather isn't making things any better. At first I thought my suicide follow through was going to be enough for him to realize he treats me bad and needs to care about me... but already he has gone back to his controlling abusive ways... its as if everything he said at the hospital to me to convince me he cared about me and he would stop treated me poorly was a lie, and that he never had any intention to show me love or even pity... my mother is doing her best to keep me happy and content, along with my sister, but that alone can't help much... especially when we have a member of the KuKluxKlan living in my neighborhood and doing his best to keep me scared of leaving my property with threats to me and my siblings. I hope January gets better... but with it turning Day 3 soon in under 3 hours, and with Day 1 and 2 already being horrible... I don't know what to think. I had a horrible enough year 2017 with constant bullying on furry websites that I went to perform suicide in December... I'd rather not have 2018 be a repeat of 2017... I'm still hopeful somehow this could be a good year... even if staff on multiple furry websites continue to do nothing to stop the harassment, slander, and death threats I endure.

Well, considering my followed through suicide attempt was from a mix of circumstances, I'm now seeking to escape a few of them.
In regards of the circumstances I'm dealing with IRL, they are tied to an unkind, uncaring stepfather, and he and my mother are controlling, and quite, abusive.
While this is just the root of a fraction of the issues that caused my suicide, they are a factor, and certainly, without them, I'd be less depressed, less stressed out, and dealing with less anxiety.
I need to move out, but that isn't possible as my deviant manipulative mother and step-father have done everything they can to ensure I can not. They strip me of my money for each month, leaving me only scraps to survive off of, and they constantly belittle me and destroy both my confidence and my hopes, and refuse to provide any aid in me ever having hope of a job, or even acquire a driver's license. I cannot walk to a job, and there is no bus service or taxis in Bayville, only a train that would take over an hour to walk to... that leaves specifically to far off places...
I've been stuck thinking, if someone were to take me in, I could seek out a job, whether a fast food worker or a man stacking products on shelves, I'd take ANY job, just to pay that person for taking me in, and doing everything I can to help out and support my savior.
Problem is, not many furries exist in my area, and there are 0 in my town. Still, if there is anyone who would drive into New Jersey, Ocean County, Bayville/Beachwood, and pick me up and take me away from my nightmare parents, I'd appreciate it.
I'd still deal with any stress or abuse online in the furry fandom at various websites, and my damaged liver, my other health problems, but I'd at least be able to get away from a horrible home situation.
Anyone here at FA who helps would also have my thanks, just spreading the word would be appreciated by me.

Well, someone called 911 cause they saw my journal. I've been in a hospital for 6 days. I lost my liver from my lethal mix of loads of alchohol and loads of pills. I'm depressed right now. I left the hospital happy, but after arriving to FA, SoFurry, and Weasyl, I have hit an instant intense depression, as something horrible happened to me after arriving at each website. I'd like to talk to someone... anyone... please... you all know every method how to contact me... I left my phone number, address, instant messennging services, and more, across every journal I've made, and it gives them all on my profile... I don't want to be depressed.

Also, go to this link if you want to have more info as what happened that caused my intensive depression to return.
https://inkbunny.net/j/302000-Vinch.....-failed-to-die
https://www.weasyl.com/journal/1222.....-failed-to-die
I just got out of hospital... I don't want to go back.

Since my previous journal was removed for speaking about another website and its staff that FA, in which it had broke CodeOfConduct Rule 1.6 - no flaming and insulting others, this will be my last journal on FA. I no longer am going to risk breaking rules, and if anything if you want to talk with me or find out my well-being or issues please go to the websites InkBunny or Weasyl. I hate staying on the website Inkbunny mind you due to its love of pedophilia, but its someplace. I love Weasyl though, its basically FA but without the extreme behavior of people and the extreme extent of rules. FurAffinity (FA) will always be my favorite site as long as I'm here, its where my real family and friends are, and not the false family that I was born to and the friends they wish to choose for me. I'll still commission people, favorite artwork, leave comments and shouts and notes... but this is my last journal.

---

Updating this... I got suspended on my birthday for mentioning past occurences between me and people on this site, and other sites. Whether these things are true or not, saying such things broke FA rules, and I was suspended for 2 months on my birthday. As such I realized I cannot leave comments on art, journals, or shouts on pages, if they ever mention details of my interactions with my fellow furries that are negative and unpleasant. Because almost anything said about anyone can be deemed negative somehow, as FA's rules are extremely vague and without descriptions or examples, and are only able to be interpreted and questioned by staff, rather than risk future punishment, I made a pact to never mention my interactions with other furries that were negative on this site again. As such, I will lack communication on this site in many ways.

---

This site is still my life, I've been here the year it was founded, I would die without it, so if anything, I'll do anything to stay here.

The first mass-deportation of arab Christians has become important to news!
In a situation where all Christians who originate from Iraq are being deported to Iraq, the news cares!
They are mentioning how Trump and ICE are deporting Christians who are Arabs over the fact they don't want non-whites in the USA.
Sadly, there was numerous other incidents... but this is the first coming in hundreds of deportations of Christian Arabs in under a week.
Maybe people will realize the insane Xenophobia of Trump and ICE.
These folk say that you are eligible for deportation based on race. Your race makes you a criminal. Not your actions.
Hopefully this will incite mass-protests. Hopefully if protests do nothing, riots targeting deportation supporters will occur.
The mass-deportation of Lebanese Christians was ignored by our country. As Americans, many ignored it all together.
We must use our voices to fight evil now! We must resist, oppose, and defeat these evil Xenophobes!

There is an art campaign going on for Net Neutrality. It's originating from DA(DeviantArt).
I'm not a great artist, but my new friend JacobFox wants to spread the word.
What is more important than removing political and corporate control over the internet and protecting our freedom here?

https://danlev.deviantart.com/journ.....lity-689661577

That's the link I was given, lets hope it works, and hope that lots of people join in to help defend our internet liberties!
Freedom, liberty, and privacy to all citizens of the World Wide Web!

So, there is a guy who believes that circumcision is scientifically proven to make you immune to STDs and Cancer effected reproductive parts of the body and people are slowly beginning to believe this furry who exists on FA and InkBunny.
Then there is another guy who believes that kidnapping, and raping woman to impregnate them, because they have sex outside of wedlock, is justice...
And another instance where purposely tricking women into impregnating them because they were dumb enough to have sex when they are not married or they are married is a punishment of justice...
Madness! Pure insanity! The children would suffer because of some lunatic trying to impregnate a women for justice, makes it kind of the opposite of justice... its sinful!
Then there is more madness... a guy who believes that he should be the only jackal allowed in the furry fandom, who waged a war on SoFurry to ban anyone who would ever make a jackal fursona because he thinks he is the only guy allowed to have a jackal fursona.
And then the person who says that they are selling their art dirt cheap and they wish they weren't poor even though they take photos of every new car and boat they buy while they sell their art for single commissions for $500 when most furry artists don't even have a garage with 8 cars and a dock with 4 boats and a mansion... it's insane!
There are more and more greedy, lustful, sinful, evil furries filling the fandom. What's worse is their behavior which is done IRL and not done in fantasy is tolerated. I'm okay if you have art with rape, incest, etc, I just won't look at it, but when you admit that is what you do IRL... and when you think that Donald Trump and Bill Gates are middle class citizens with very little money to their name.... when you think that anything your 'God' says becomes scientific fact...
That is pure evil. The furry fandom is going to hell... and fast... real fast...
What's worse of all... is this is considering morally acceptable by the furry fandom now...

I think I might be depressed. I've been sleeping a lot, eating less, and crying a lot more.
I'm not sure what to even consider the source of all this.
I'm not sure if it's what goes on at the internet to blame, or the aimless direction of my life that leads no-where.
I'm not sure if it's the horrible stuff that has happened to family and friends, or the world in general.
Regardless, it is invoking a great deal more thought than normal for me, which I'm going to try to use constructively.

You can follow me on other art sites.
SoFurry, InkBunny, Weasyl.
Of course, I'm largely inactive on those three, but I still visit there.
I don't like SoFurry and InkBunny, due to their staff whom I have had issues with.
I don't like InkBunny because they allow both pornographic cub art and human child art, which disgusts me.
I'm very new to Weasyl, and have had no issues there yet.
I've accepted that at times I have to leave this site and neither use it or even visit it when things turn bad.
Sometimes bad things happen. Sometimes bad people exist doing bad things.
Sometimes bad things happen to me, or I meet bad people.
However, there is always hope, and a light.
Even when there is doubt, their is hope.

The Trumptard Tribe had successfully managed to act to support their leader Donaldovich Trumptard from elimination, by effectively using the political moves called 'Demonize everyone else' and 'Crap on all America' in the Scapegoat challenge.
Comey, the RepubliKKkan Tribes most successful member, who managed to help his Tribe defeat the Democrass Tribe at every turn, was ousted for refusing the alliance with the Trumptard Tribe, in the Scapegoat challenge, and put in place what should be a lasting state of protection for Donaldovich Trumptard.
Meanwhile, the Democrass Tribe, continues to fail miserably in everything, thanks to Crapperly Clinton, their new leader. Crapperly Clinton has acted in everyway to make her Tribe do good but only succeeded in aiding all opposition all the time every time. The tactic 'whine nag and complain about meaningless issues and ignore all things important' and 'Demonize everyone else' has been in use at a constant ever since her rise as leader.
However, in this episode things have been everything but peachy for the Trumptard Tribe. Trumptard Tribe needed to succeed in the WageAWar challenge to continue to maintain the Tribes control of politics. However, Donaldovich Trumptard had sabotaged his own team's challenge by telling the enemy his team's plans. In addition, he also got his elimination immunity removed by effectively revealing he cheated on a previous challenge by cheating against the RepubliKKklan Tribe when Comey refused the alliance he offered.
With this current challenge a failure Trumptard may actually be eliminated!
Plus, the RepubliKKklan Tribe is attempting to take advantage of this, collapsing the Trumptard Tribes domination of the high ground and taking it themselves with the 'Seize and Control Congress Jungle' tactic.
Meanwhile Crapperly Clinton continues to shit on her own Tribe, leader it to go no-where!
It is a fucking mess on America Island, where food was recently declared a luxury, the water supply was poisoned, white terrorists are gunning down men women and children left and right, and a scary cannibal cocaine addict called Alex Jones recently decided that feces is a new food group!

Donald Trump is known to be corrupt, immoral, racist, and sexist... but he is also very business savvy and cunning, in spite of lacking intelligence and knowledge in political, racial, religious, and international matters.
Donald Trump has acted in best interests for this country in the form of a business, but not a country, in which the well being of the population at large and small issues is sacrificed for the most important individuals and agendas.
This has resulted in countless people condemning him, and a slow but increasing number of his followers betraying him.
Donald Trump might be impeached, since we have a Congressman who is demanding it, and a Senator as well... but impeachment won't fix anything.
Fact is, Trump put in an administration that can easily function and continue these very same acts and issues, good and bad, without him.
Even worse is that Pence is no better than Trump, and Pence will assume rule if Trump is impeached.
Even if Pence gets impeached, it will result in Congress running the nation, but Congress is also flawed and imperfect.
Congress ruling would be MUCH better than Pence or Trump ruling, but they will pale in comparison to being an ideal governing body and authority in which people will find plenty of reasons to complain and to condemn for 'corruption'.
Regardless, we're looking at a unique state in which the White-house and Congress is made up solely of the new-age conservative-republicans. Democrats might exist in the Senate, and the House of Representatives, but while they share those place with other political viewing folk, Congress and the White-House belongs to a single political force.
What will be a major issue is the continued misuse of our nations funds and taxes, and a continued abuse of both citizens based on religion, race, politics, and origins, but also foreigners.
They're literally targeting Arab Jews and Christians as being evil and horrible terrorists that are no different than Al Quada and the Taliban and ISIS right now. My grandpa, being one of said individuals was targeted over such stupidity.
We need to put our money into real, logical defense methods, not these insane ideas of building a wall and persecuting people based solely on them not being simultaneously white and Christian.

And how will we make a fix that's needed? It would takes not a few months, but a few years to fix the current shitfest we have right now. This means either Trump completely changes in all forms and fixes the mess he made, or he gets impeached and Pence fixes the mess, or they are both impeached and Congress fixes things... and Congress might not fix things... so where do we go from there? Simply put, from there we basically try to deal with the new age of corruption, persecution, and dedication to conflict our country embraces... which will not be good, but it would be what we would deal with. Its hard to put faith in Trump to fix things, and hard to put faith in Pence to fix things... but then again, Trump has had good intentions before, not all the time does he have bad intentions... its just he has literally ruined everything he touches... I can only hope and pray for the best at this point as there is no other option.

Great, more problems headed our ways here at the USA. Many problems beyond that than we can handle.
Well, Trump is no longer as focused as he was on invading Syria, but then again, originally he was an Assad supporter, he flip flops back and forth still as to whether Assad is good or evil, whether we should fight alongside Assad or against him... surprising he supports a dictator, condemns him, attacks his country but warns him of attack, and now backs off and goes back to peace with him.
Yup, Trump is now focused on North Korea. He claims war is on the horizon if NK's ruler doesn't change... but he is also oddly spouting a lot of speech about how smart and respectable Kim-Jom-Un 2nd is, and says he wants peace talks with this remarkable, admirable, leader. I can't tell if that means war with NK, or SK, because it seems Trump doesn't know what side to take in a war lasting 50 years so far...
Also, recently people from Canada have been refused entry into the USA. Lots of people who are Asians, Arabs, and Blacks, are being sent back to Canada. Apparently Islam isn't as big a threat as race. The major question though that determines whether you enter the USA or are sent back to your country, spoken by the head of ass-hat defense, is whether you support Trump or not, and if you support Trump, you can enter the USA, but if you refuse to pick a side or do not support Trump, you cannot. Wow...
Considering Trump called Canada a threat to the American Economy and a nation supporting Terrorism... Canada is bound to be pissed off Trump's administration is bullying their citizens at the border... then again, a similar things is happening with Mexico... except a wall is desired to be made to add to that shitfest.
Lastly, Trump said he will disband the Federal Court system for acting against his executive orders, that way the only good court system, he says, the Supreme Court, will remain, and good men make up that Court. Sincerely a bitch move... but then again, what will he do, disband the Supreme Court? His bill to disband un-needed Federal Courts is currently in the shitter, he'll probably need to make yet another executive order to do anything, and his executive order needs to get past both Congress and the Federal and Supreme Court to work... yup... more toilet paper being made on Trump's desk.
Trump might have good intentions for everyone who is white and non-catholic christians and republican and conservative in this nation... but he is fucking up on a grand scale because he ignores the well being of most people.
Pope Francis was video recorded for his speeches condemning Vladdimir Putin AND Donald Trump... the Prime Ministers of Canada, Australia, Germany, and Japan have all voiced their irritation with a man without morals and without a higher intelligence necessary to rule a nation... every is getting pissed... Assad was pissed at Trump, but now their friends again... Trump and Putin used to be pissed at eachother over the Syria issue, now their best buds again... if our only allies become 2 dictators, if we lose our borders to our bordering nations, if we lose all our longstanding allies and continue to be condemned by the Pope... we'll be in a situation of no recovery.
Donald Trump can't be this dumb to purposely cause all this! There must be a reason behind all this stupidity! For Christ's sake my grandpa had to go to court because Catholic Arabs whose Catholic parents were refugees from the middle-east were up for being deported. My grandpa won his case... but what happens fucking next time? I mean, for fucks sake?!?!

My Cat Orange, who was soon to turn 18 this Spring, is dead.
He had an Inoperable Cancerous Tumor.
While he originally seemed able to recover from whatever he had been sick with two days ago, we were concerned with a growth and his slow recovery. We had high hopes, since he was active and did plenty of purring around us.
Yesterday afternoon he was taken to the Vet, who suggested to bring him to a Veterinary Hospital. We still had high hopes. He wasn't doing as well, but was still able to be content.
Today at the Veterinary Hospital we got bad news. The Growth turned out to be a Tumor. It was also Cancerous was more internal than expected. It was inoperable. He was put down. We will receive his ashes soon.
This is a huge hit for me emotionally, as I lived my life with him, and if anything can barely live without him.
He was, friend, family, a close companion who cared more for me than anyone else.
My siblings are as equally broken by his demise. He will be dearly missed.

My aunt may be better, but my cat and grandfather are not.
My grandfather is recovering at the hospital still. My cat is still having issues with an infection, old one gone, new one here.
Both are life-threatening illnesses. Both can be fatal. Both we're waiting to see the results.
This has left me easily frustrated and irritated with all sorts of things.
I'm not one who easily deals with tragedy... I can only hope and pray at this point, sad to say.

In a Muslim only held territory in Russia, not sure how its spelt exactly... Chechna?
It's doing something horrible... its officially opening camps to effectively turn homosexuals heterosexual or deport them.
Homosexuals refusing to comply are punished with torture and death... which is quite horrid.
Originally supposedly this place was well known for persecution of anyone homosexual.
Homosexuals getting beaten and tortured happened often. But at least then it wasn't officially being done by the government and law enforcement. It was instead being done by lawless folk and 'vigilantes' as they were called.
The Governor of the region says Homosexuals have never existed in their region, or in the country of Russia, and anyone spreading the idea of homosexuals existing is creating heretical propaganda. Locals claim that the actions taken with the camps are the will of Allah, and that Putin is a wise man to allow these places to exist to convert monsters into human beings.
I suppose the worst thing is that this recent event resulted in applause from several White House officials in our own country, mind you, Trump's administration has suggested that they would legalize homosexuality as a mental illness if they could when they first entered office, so maybe this isn't surprising.
The persecution of others is commonplace in the most devolved parts of the world where humans live like they are more savage and worst than the conceived notion of a demon, simply put, southern USA, communist countries, religious dictatorships, military dictatorships, but the thing is Russia is supposed to be a republic, it hasn't been a communism or a dictatorship... so how the fuck is Russia devolving this far to make Joseph Stalin's reign potentially more benevolent?
...
My only hope is that something causes drastic change in Russia.

Well, my aunt, my last living grandfather (mother's father), and my cat, are all dealing with serious illness.
My aunt has a tooth infection that spread beyond her teeth and into her gums.
As a result she needs to be medicated, and is likely to go under surgery soon.
My final grandfather is dealing with a blood infection, this occurred after he acquired pneumonia.
He is hospitalized, but is not getting better. The only good news is he is not getting worse.
Lastly, my cat Orange Thing is dealing with a mouth infection. It has spread into his final few teeth, and his gums.
He is too old and weak to partake in surgery to fix it... so the vet has us giving him anti-biotics.

Long run said short, if things all take a turn for the absolute worse, I will have lost another 3 family members in this year's first 4 months.
I will have lost not only my grandparents on my father's side, but I will also lose another grandparent, an aunt, and a pet cat.
I'm honestly a bit optimistic though. I think in all likelihood they chance of even two out of three deaths is highly unlikely.
Regardless, if any of them die, its still going to hurt like fucking hell on an emotional level.

In our USA deaths in America reach new high with domestic terrorism. Small scale domestic terrorist organizations and large scale organizations are slaughtering citizens of almost all races and religions, but the deaths of Protestant White Christians is quite low. The majority of deaths are of anyone not White and Whites who are not Protestant, such as Catholics, Buddhists, and so forth.
Even more unpleasant is that law enforcement being killed by domestic terrorists is at an extreme high.
Ever since immediately prior to Trump's inauguration, these cases have been happening, and slowly increasing at a steady pace. But at this point its now killing more US citizens than anything else. Combine foreign terrorism, and domestic crime, together, and domestic terrorism has killed more people. Terrorist organizations such as the KuKluxKlan, NeoNazis, and SovereignNations, three different groups of White Extremists, KKK dedicated to so called 'ProtestantChristians', NeoNazis made up of Protestants&Catholics, the final made up of Jews, Christians, and Atheists, is slaughtering immense amounts of people. Trump supporters refuse to believe these organizations exist, and Trump refuses to acknowledge these groups have killed anyone in the USA both prior to and after his election.

In addition, I might as well mention the fact that vigilante citizens are on the rise. Trumpists are killing massive amounts of Buddhists and Hindus from South Asia, claiming that all such people are Muslim and need to get out of the country. A sizable amount of these people are from countries such as India, with neighboring countries peoples also dying from these attacks. One person killed an Indian man who was a manager of a store who said they were out of orange juice. An hour after the orange juice claim, he returned to the store, killing the man and burning the building to the ground, claiming Hindu Indians are bringing Islam to America. Another event was when two Indian men where shot dead at a bar by a disgruntled dishonorably discharged Navy officer. He claimed Buddhists from India are a dangerous Muslim threat endangering America. He also shot a white man who tried to intervene repeatedly. He miraculously survived.

Even these vigilantes appear in protests. Numerous occurrences with both Trumpists and Democrats have occurred when both sides have come armed with weapons, and not for the purpose of attacking law enforcement surprisingly, but attacking people of the opposing viewpoints. Trumpists have been seen arming themselves with knives, bats, homemade wooden shields, homemade pepper spray cannons, tasers, helmets, and handguns in the protests. They have also been arrested with these things confiscated. Democrats have been arrested possessing Riot Shields, Riots Helmets, Kevlar Vests, Riot Batons, as well as Bricks. Some of these Democrats were law enforcement officers, and they have passed their belongings to other protesters claiming they were for self-defense against criminally insane Trumpists. In spite of this, these things have been used on Trumpists who have not used violence in addition to violent Trumpists.

Our country is in a state of chaos. The SovereignNationals believe they are about to create their own country and win their war against the US government that they have been fighting for 60+ years now, since they were founded. The KKK is granted immunity by numerous people refusing to acknowledge the organization having ever existed, with others claiming it is propaganda that the KKK ever performs crime. And the NeoNazis seem to be thriving as they rely heavily on hatred and extremists to recruit and gather forces, as well as attack non-whites and non-Christians.

If our federal government continues to deny the existence of these organizations, and continues to deny that there are any people dying in our country, I think we may become vulnerable to a revolution or rebellion of chaotic extremists.

In Texas all court hearings in regards to actions involving rendering it difficult for non-whites to vote on state and federal affairs have been thrown out by the State courts, and Federal courts are refusing to even consider such things.
Elsewhere a shooting done by a white extremist, a disgruntled discharged military officer gunned down 3 men who are Indian in ancestry. He claimed that Hindus and Buddhists pose an extreme terrorist threat to our country.
Another case of prejudice and stupidity bring up when US celebrities have been detained at airports who were African in ancestry. Uniquely, this shows that this prejudice attacks both common citizens of the USA, and the wealthy and famous.
One more for the show is that it turns out anti-Semitism is in extreme scale. In addition to the St. Louis Jewish cemetery being destroyed by a White Supremist group a while ago, another in Philadelphia was targeted... two different cities in two different states. A series of hoax bomb threats done in the name of Jesus was also performed across 11 states, 2 of which includes the states where the cemeteries were attacked.
More white and black police officers have been gunned down by the Sovereign Nationalists, a domestic terrorist organization made up entirely of whites which includes Jews, Christians, Atheists, and Agnostics. These people believe they are legally within right to create their own country, and use the Civil War as an explanation as to why they declare independence from the USA.
Donald Trump and his administration refuses to intervene whatsoever against these atrocities, refusing to support the evil people who do these things, but refusing to help the people they target. His neutral stance is taken as a part of his apathy to everyone in general who needs help, and a willingness to turn a blind eye to those who do these things.
Donald Trump and his administration are working to focus on the only problems facing our nations, the evils of any nation willing to be our ally(we are not willing to accept any old alliance prior to our new administration), and the evils of foreigners acquiring US jobs, and the evils of the only terrorists to exist - Islam. Trump, Bannon, and Spence refuse to acknowledge that the KuKluxKlan and NeoNazis are terrorists, and they refuse to acknowledge the existence of Communist and Anarchist terrorists as they consist entirely of Whites and Asians. Trump and his administration are also focusing on helping Russia and Syria dictators Putin and Hassad expand and conquer neighboring nations... which sounds insane. We should oppose these two, not help them...
Our government has gone backwards and law enforcement is receiving no help as the government refuses to aid law enforcement. People are acting out and chaos is spreading... our country is in a worse state then it has ever been in history... and I'm not sure what to do to help.