Halloween is over... mostly... IRL...
But for many online games, and in some ancient cultures that no longer exists, the Pagan Holiday continues!
But, I'm mostly thinking about how I dished out 50$ for a non-refundable costume, that turned out to be damaged via Packaging...
I'm highly disappointed that the werewolf costume did not match the image advertised...
But I'm morbidly depressed over the mask of the werewolf costume being so damaged it was almost unusable... and indistinguishable as a werewolf...
The Halloween Party was nice, but it turned out many people did not come, so it involved only the closest members of family and closest of friends...
Also, only one time did Trick or Treaters come to our house this Halloween... so we had leftover candy from Halloween...
Side note, I'm gonna be playing multiple games extensively for the Halloween events going on in them... but for tonight, I'm gonna go to bed...
When I wake up... both my brothers will have left to go back to their homes... but I'm glad I spent time with them for more than one day being happy together...

Halloween is coming, and I was able to convince my mother that we can hold a Halloween Party at home! There will be sushi, lots of people coming (mainly teenagers and adults), and candy and booze!
We will all be dressed up, with a choice of coming in a complete costume or not up to the person...
This includes me for once finally!

Also, a cool discovery about an artificial structure non-human made in origin was discovered by NASA and its apparently circling a distant star... apparently NASA can not confirm if its some ancient destroyed wreckage of a ship, space station, it could be most anything at this point, but being that it has apparently been stuck in orbit of the star for a long time its likely whoever built it is long gone... I'm really hoping this means the possibility of encountering intelligent alien life is going up in the eyes of some...

Sadly... uh... if that is all that's left there, we could be fucked and the species responsible for that ancient tech could be extinct... just figuring... go to this journal of a fellow furry for more news as well as links to what NASA found and various idiots arguing about NASA's brain blowing discovery.

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/...../#cid:47667702

Oh, btw, I really do hope someday we can reach that space wreck and discover whatever it is and whomever made it... its really friggin far away... but so close in regards of our technology enabling us to see it... probably 500 years of constantly advancing our space programs could help out tons...

Yup... family birthdays and Halloween... so that is nice...
For a few years I've wanted to dress up for Halloween... but every time I seek to acquire a costume... my mom rages on how I'm not 24 anymore I'm too old for a costume...
Wait... so she is okay with babies, toddlers, kids, teenagers, and young adults having costumes, but once you turn 25 you can't anymore? Even though she wears stuff sometimes when people ask about it?
Well, whatever, maybe someone else who is allowed to acquire a license and/or a car can help me acquire a costume... werewolf season is coming!
Also, birthdays... we already did two, one being my lil' brother Sean... btw...
So... things are probably gonna be decent... I can't trick or treat unless with my little cousins... which is good with me... I actually am happy being at home handing out treats... I can wear a costume and do something nice... and what few treats are left-over are mine... considering our location... we don't always get lots of trick or treaters... one year recently we got only 2 groups who came...
Hmm... October has also come with lots of stuff with Pumpkin flavors... and my family is taking good advantage... especially since we didn't focus on growing Pumpkins this year so our crop harvest is low with that... but boy... other things with Pumpkins that only be bought can be so good!

Recently this past week, a 13 year old Black kid was arrested for making a Clock.
It was for his school's engineering class, for his class project.
Not long after presenting it, school staff called the police, and a bomb squad arrived.
The student was brought out in cuffs, with guns to his head, and repeatedly interrogated on the bomb.
The student repeated he made a clock for class, he had no bomb, and didn't know what bomb they were talking about.
The bomb squad also could not locate a bomb in the school, at the room they were sent to, until a police officer assisted them by locating and showing them the bomb.
The bomb squad immediately deemed it neither looked like a bomb, nor was it a bomb as they took it apart.
Right now the student is under arrest for making a 'hoax' bomb. Since 9/11, any object in possession of anyone claimed as a bomb but is a fake can be deemed a hoax bomb, and possession of such bombs is a form of terrorism.
I have lost all hope in Texas and Texas law enforcement during my childhood. I am not surprised this happened. People are shot and killed in Texas over religion and being a foreign born person and it is considered legal. Killing Federal Law Enforcement is not considered a crime if you are killing them while they are on your property.
Texas folk are some of the worst scum of this country, and so is their law enforcement. If a thermo-nuclear device blows up there, not a single innocent white man, woman, or child will die. It is a place that supports Religious law and states Democracies are evil. It is a place where anyone not white and not christian is not protected by any laws but subject to punishment by all laws. A place where life is deemed worthless and insanity rules supreme. Fuck Texas. Fuck Texas and all Texans.

Saturday and Sunday, and even Monday... were all days different things were done by different people for my birthday. I had much fun, and even though there was no physical presents, I have good memories which is still quite nice.
Saturday my brother Sean drove me up north where I stayed at his apartment for the day and night. In the day we went laser tagging with most of my cousins, and a few of my aunts and uncles, all of these individuals on my mother's side of the family. In teams of 12Vs12 my team won 3 out of 5 matches, with me on the top 5 scorers of my team each time. The bulky heavy body armor however made it tiring to huddle, hurdle, and run alot... but it is necessary for the lasers of the laser guns to work... its covered with multiple sensor spots for the lasers shot by the gun to hit... and covers your torso and arms... it was cool looking...
Sunday I was back here at home, and at night my family held a backyard movie night. We had a projector, which showed the movie Guardians of the Galaxy... which was a good movie... a great movie even! Since my little cousins were there, there was also Spongebob the Movie 2, which played afterwards... and there were several of my brother Erik's friends and my sister Liz's friends.
Monday I was surprised with a special dinner and a cake at home... and a pair of gift cards. It was basically an end to the festivities I suppose. It made me quite happy!
So that was my weekend... and now you know how things were for my birthday. A birthday need not have gifts if it has lots of good memories with people you care about.

Well, Summer is coming to a close, which occurs during September, and that's also my birthday coming...
I've not done as much Summer activities as could have been... very few trips to the beach, very few trips to any water parks, and while there were more trips to parks of the woods, my Summer has been mainly doing stuff on the computer, or around the house.
Well, I have lots of things to do for fall, and none of them will require driving anywhere, which makes it all quite possible! Plus, my Birthday is on September 5th, so if anything, I'll have my birthday first, and Fall activities will come later.
I've been trying to make new friends, both IRL and online, and while I've not been extremely successful, people are recognizing me and remembering good things about me more often, and I've been spread out well over the net in spite of avoiding SoFurry like the plague.
Here's to a good final moments of Summer and to a good Fall!

Well... my stalkers/abusers don't seem to be following me and attacking me around the net anymore.
I haven't seen them on various web profiles, forums, and computer games for a bit. Since this has been enough days in a row to go beyond a week, I'm thinking they're done harassing me. Regardless I'm not returning to SoFurry, where this mess started, because the staff there refuses to punish people who harass others, and even when said harassment involves death threats it doesn't matter to them because their admins say 'it's not against the TOS to speak ones mind and say ones beliefs and desires'.

Well, IRL things have been peachy, my siblings visit now and then, and I've been having my niece visit once a week. I've also gone out to the local park several times and done some gardening around the house with my mother. I love plants, animals, and even fungus. I've seen numerous odd flowers, moss, and mushrooms I've never seen before this summer. It makes me happy to see new forms of life, and even happier to see life prosper! Even the bugs are doing wonderful, especially the bees, which have made a big comeback.

I've been gaming a lot lately too on my DS, and Computer, in case anyone wants to play games with me sometime. I'm even open to role-playing. Yup, I get bored quick if you don't know. I get lonely too... even with the pleasant family going ons going on.

I'm giving up on SoFurry... it might be temporary... or permanently... not sure yet.
With an abusive staff member who is actively racist against black people, and numerous claims by most staff that they cannot ban or punish people for harassment, trolling, racism, and death threats, that website seems like a big pile of shit right now.
What's odd is that this all goes under Toumal's nose, and the SoFurry staff/admins are all users here at FA, and some of them are moderators... why the hell is it they see how this place is run and do things worse?
Also, FA's staff/admins include Dragoneer, who is also on SoFurry with a few other FA staff members. The thing is none of them have any positions of high authority that allows them to have a voice that matters. People say that FA has corrupt people, but they are actually saints compared to what goes on at SF. So to speak, we should be happy here... after all... at least FA doesn't have staff who attacks people over race... Moonblood is the worst furry and admin ever... I'm wondering if he's part of the Ku Klux or something... Dragoneer's worst quality is his bad judgement, nothing else, he isn't evil...
I honestly hope that I can return to SoFurry sometime someday soon. When Etheras and Mericus over at SoFurry stop dedicating themselves to harassing me there and using my profile info to stalk me to places beyond SoFurry... they need to stop abusing me on Steam... why do they stalk me into online games? Fucking ridiculous...

Well, apparently either my mother, or my brother Sean, are effectively trying to ruin my life at home.
My mom as you know never loved me or cared for me since my birth till late adolescence, in which things took a drastic turn and she loved me heavily after a horrid car crash in which she almost died and faced extreme physical and neural injuries. She has loved me heavily... till today...
My brother Sean as you know is a master of technology, especially computer, with a Bachelor's and eventually Masters in mechanical engineering, and having worked in government and military corporations that designed computer tech for our great USA. He has recently taken notice to our computer that even with extreme modifications and updates, buying and replacing old parts with newest tech, it runs and works poorly due to its ancient motherboard... so he is buying a new computer for us...
Well, my mother is re-doing this room, where we have our computer I'm typing from, along with all our tech stuff and even our TV. Re-doing it involves major alterations to the floor, and the area with the computer. We agreed yesterday however the computer, its desk, everything, including some of the rug, would stay. Today she stated it all must go, but the computer could stay. This pissed me off. I got only one sentence in on what I wanted and could not explain why as she cut me off with my response to her 'well the whole floor has to go and everything has to be moved out anyways'. She suddenly stormed off, refused to talk to me, and even with my stepdad asking her to talk to me she refused. She suddenly hated us both. I contacted my brother, and through him negotiated that my mom could remove the rug, but everything else would have to stay and be put back as is, which Sean would help with. I was to start with the computer, and the things at the desk, and did. Finished with everything but the computer. Then learned from mom that Sean was not coming home anytime soon, and I had to remove EVERYTHING and toss EVERYTHING she did not want around, and that this was discussed with Sean. My mom basically revealed that Sean lied to me. I contacted Sean, complaining, angry, and he said he never said anything of the sort and my mom is lieing. Now I'm confused and angry and Sean has blocked me on Skype and won't talk to me. Well, I won't toss anything or allow anything to be tossed, and nothing will be moved or touched by anyone till Sean arrives at a later date... and we solve things civilized.
What do you all think of this crap? I pay the bills and taxes for this house as part of my 'rent' with my social security, I should at least have a say in this since I spend more money on this house than my mom and step-dad with bills and taxes.

Also, Etheras and Mericus, two people from SoFurry, are still stalking and harassing me, and the SoFurry staff have not done anything. Etheras and Mericus have moved from furry artsites to online computer games to harass me. I am not safe playing games, as they have my Xbox, Nintendo, Steam, and Furry identities and targeting me everywhere! I'm so pissed. And they are only potentially able to be punished right now if in online games people in authority see them harass me or I provide screenshot and video proof. I am too pissed to deal with Etheras and Mericus in Team Fortress 2 and other places like Garry's Mod and Left4Dead 1&2. I am tired of this abuse and them tossing hordes of insults and curses and saying I deserve to suffer. I did nothing to them or anyone they know... why do I deserve this?

Someone has been stalking and harassing me on SoFurry... claiming that I stole my character and all the art on my profiles... apparently an ordinary looking brown jackal is character theft and if you link to an artist's page and the artist's art which the artist link's back to me... I apparently am blamed for stealing art... which doesn't make sense.
The art was made for me by other artists and I and the artists have openly stated this.
SoFurry has a pretty corrupt heartless staff and admins who happily take any chance they get to harass people over false claims. This reminds me when LeiLani performed her attack on black skinned folk and how the staff supported and protected LeiLani that attacking people IRL for their skin color is not racism.
Swear someday I'm gonna go nuts...

The games I play and focus on have changed, and with how warm its gotten my chores have changed slightly, in that I have more, and a few less.
Among the things I have been enjoying greatly includes Dungeons of Dredmor, Epic Battle Fantasy, and One Way Heroics. Only one of those games is an online game... One Way Heroics... but its not exactly multiplayer in a form you'd expect... they are all RPGs with a slap of humor in your face... but 2 of 3 of them have an incredibly detailed storyline and story arcs which are able to be discovered... its not Dungeons of Dredmor...
Considering they are all games not made by big companies but with devoted creators who love their games and the game they make as well as their fans, its a nice community thing with each of them.
I've been playing a lot less of online Dungeons and Dragons games... and I've even slowed down a lot on Warframe... and have stopped(possibly temporary?) on Everquest 1&2... I have also completely stopped with Xbox Live... its too much money and not many games for a guy like me who won't join in with this Xbox One garbage.
Our gardens at my home are doing well so far... I am real sad our Hazelnut Bush has died and been removed as its been around a long long time... it was over 20 years old... my stepdad uses pesticides and weedkiller... something me and my mom don't like and have been trying to get him to stop... with partial success. Also, the ponds have plenty of frogs and other unique visitors and residents, it makes both me and my mom happy to know that animals elsewhere in the area can rely on our property as lakes, marshed, and forests in our area are cleared for all these damn houses.
There has even been an owl that has visited, but my mom worries about birds of all sorts that visit our property cause we own cats, and not all of them play nice with each other, let alone would they play nice with birds with a select few of them.
Eh... hopefully all is well for all others... I've been limited with fandom things, and using this site, cause my family does not approve of it. Hopefully I chat and stuff soon.

LukaFawx has so kindly accepted some Steam games from me as payment acceptable for commissions!
She did two for me, and they both came out great! I love them!
If your reading this... I might as well say... go commission her!
http://www.furaffinity.net/user/lukafawx/

Apparently there is still lots of looking at gun control and problems involving guns and controlling them.
Amongst these topics include college campuses and the many 'accidents' and 'crimes' and 'suicides' that occur.
Some people bring up that young people shouldn't have guns... especially since they include people that are either irresponsible or untrained, which is why many accidents and crimes happen with guns legally acquired for self-defense.
The other half is that college campuses have heavy amounts of alcohol usage in the behavior of clubs whether fraternities or otherwise, and that the many suicides and accidents could be avoided if guns and alcohol never mix at colleges, something impossible at southern states.
With a rise in accidents, crimes, and suicides going higher and higher at southern colleges, we can only ask, what can be done to decrease the damage and stop the loss of many lives?
Some say banning alcohol will solve everything. Others say banning guns on campus grounds and properties will solve everything. Others say limiting/controlling both without bans will solve things.
In each case, its a gun, and it gets fired, and someone gets hurt or dies.
The suicides part is completely separate from everything though, depression, anxiety, and stress.
I honestly think that banning alcohol will do next to nothing, but it will be better than nothing, while a gun ban will do a huge amount of good.
The controlled state by adding a series of limitation laws with a well-funded enforcement agency would do a lot of good too.
Which should be done, and when there is actual voting for actual action, what would you choose if there would be either 2 or all 3 options above available?

It seems when I see or hear about corruption or injustice going on it tends to have a big impact on me.
I tend to stick on such things like glue for a short while...
and I never forget anything do to my photographic memory making things worse than normal...
Also, I think it might be tied to my youth with how helpless I was then to stop various evil things...
People bullying and beating the crap out of weak people. Creeps that enjoy torturing and sometimes killing animals for fun. People older and in authority that openly flaunt they can do bad things and get away with it.
I know that various things might never change, and now that I'm older focusing on even bigger things I cannot change seems to be what takes hold now...
Why do I care so damn much? Why do I want other people to care? Why do I want people who do bad things to be punished and for good people not to suffer?
If anything, I should focus on what I can change, things that I couldn't stop at all when I was young...
But, would there be enough people focusing on the other bad things?, would all the other evils in the world continue to be ignored?
My brothers friend was attacked when he went down into southern states round December, and on returning he came back, mentioned it, and acted like it was normal and acceptable. Getting beaten having trash tossed all over you while your on the ground, I know the cops there said for him to grow some balls, but I can't help but feel Billy should have been living well when he went to visit his parents. Being homosexual isn't a crime, but performing assault is... yet they treat it the opposite out there...
And all the crap that goes on still with corrupted politicians in the government and military, speaking the evils of non-whites and non-god fearing folk, those who are foreigners and gays, and the pain and suffering they deserve... it's too much...
I can change some things... but I can't change others... but I want to protect my family, my friends, and my family's friends from the horrors that go on... should I give up thinking about big things? Pay attention to that which can be done... or should I stay hopeful for real change and real good occurring?

Less than an hour ago Fox News here in the USA brought up that the two most important military leaders of our country, a Senator and Congressmen, a women who preaches the evils of Islam and a man who served as an Advisor to President George Bush Senior and Junior, were going to speak about how our country is in threat and under attack at our territories in the Middle East by Muslims who seek to steal our land in the Middle East that is rightfully ours.
This pissed me off, its obviously just the typical propaganda to drive people who are low IQ simpletons driven by fear and hatred to support new wars against people that don't ever even come to our own country and its allies.
But then, they mentioned that they are also going to go into discussion on how Democrats are endangering the future of America by having made Public Schools Anti-Christian and Pro-Terrorism. Yup, you read that right, and you heard it if you had the TV on a short while ago.
Apparently, by refusing to teach Creationism as a part of science class, and teaching the opposite, Evolution, there is an apparent 'war' on Christians. Even worse in their eyes, by teaching about the Crusades, Inquisitions, and the Nazis in world history class, there is even more lies and propaganda about three factions that never truly existed and are made up.
Finally, by refusing to force every child to partake in various traditions that are a mix of Patriotism and Christian devotion, and supporting a separatism of Church and State in school, Terrorism is supported. Another act of supporting Terrorism is by teaching about the Middle East's history over 1000 years ago to WW2, in which Republicans say middle-east was supposedly at war trying to wipe out whites and christians and everything said in history books of schools is otherwise lies and propaganda.
Effectively, Fox News then asked for all good folk who are White, Christian, and American, to petition the government to legalize Creationism, the teaching that the world is 6000 years old and extinction and evolution is imaginary, as well as the removal and destruction of all books that teach World History and replace them with US History, and not US History books that teach anything about the times prior to the 1800's like the Revolutionary War as well as the original Colonization of America.
I'm pissed off. Fox News is the most corrupt news station in the world, spewing more propaganda and lies than that of any other country including shit-holes like North Korea and Iran, which are shit-holes fueled by propaganda and lies. That, and they have said even though I have white skin and was born here because of my parents and their parents and their parents, I'm a Nigger and Foreigner, because of my heritage and religion. Yup, can't support that idiocy.

2014 was filled with both strife and trials and joy and merriment.
It contained wonderful times with friends and family as well as bad times with them.
It had me discover the true nature of people as well, whether friend, foe, or acquaintance.
2014 was not an easy year to live through, but it was far from the worst year in my life.
For this I am most thankful and pleased.

I hope 2015 will be a good year, one with much happiness for everyone I know.
I am content starting off the new year as a truly new year. I am content forgiving everyone who has wronged me. Likewise, I would like to apologize for those few I have wronged and receive forgiveness so we can start off on a clean slate.
2015 is a year that should start off with all people in a state of peace and happiness, and no drama and trolls. I hope all will remain as such, and 2015 will be a year to remember, one with great joy.

It could be worse... could be crappier...
My mouth bleeds whenever I eat anything, and it hurts horribly if anything gets anywhere near the damaged area of my mouth. In spite of this... it doesn't bleed all the time or everyday. Mind you, I do sleep a lot lately, and when I don't I'm on Steam playing games.
I did a lot of Christmas shopping yesterday. I basically got everything I needed to for my siblings and cousins and I apparently got my step-brother and his wife in the annual grab bag, so I bought them something too.
I do like that the weather has been clear most of the time. Oddly, when it isn't, it is freezing rain. Hasn't snowed once. Damn... might not be a white Christmas when I think about the lack of snow.
Lastly, I haven't been to SoFurry in a long time. Not on purpose either. But maybe its a good thing? The people and staff there stress me out. I don't like that they consider racism an form of opinion or that they threaten anyone who endangers authority.
Hopefully things continue to go as well as they are, if not better. Things are half-decent. Not good, not decent, but not bad, or horrible. I can live with this.

Well... my gums come lose in my mouth... you know... the pink flesh connecting your teeth to your jaw kinda? Well... now I got exposed bone and blood... fuck this family.
My mom keeps saying gingavitis and cavities can be solved by brushing, that dentists, surgery, and medication is just ways to snag money from people.
She says she is doing what is best for the family, and that it keeps the family safe from those who would abuse suffering.
Fuck that. I'm pouring blood from my jaw into my throat as I type this.

To make it even worse... Lei-lani has made a journal on racism on SoFurry to attack me. She might have said some horrible things about blacks, but it wasn't her and her supporters being racist. I'm a racist for thinking that calling 'all black people lazy thugs who want everything handed over to them and that all black people are murderers, rapists, and thieves'! I'm racist for saying something is racist. How stupid! And people pile on support. I made a promise with Moonblood if I shut-up on the racist attack by Lei-Lani and friends and stopped mentioning the all-white staff of SoFurry is protecting their queen that Moonblood and his pals would stop hunting and harassing me by abusing their admin powers.

Promise broken along with all love to the fandom's kings and queens. They can all go to hell while I'm in the hospital the next few weeks.

Well... apparently LeiLani did not directly perform any of the racist attacks in her journal at SoFurry... she merely supported them by saying, "It's true." Because LeiLani's pleas to the staff of SoFurry included that she never said anything racist herself... she is completely off the hook, is not being punished, and does not even need to apologize to anyone who was offended by said journal's hurtful comments attacking blacks.
In addition, to make things even more un-professional and unusual, Coluth and TheMasturbatingBear, the two people who were adamantly attacking blacks because under their statements, all blacks are lazy folk who want everything handed to them, all blacks are thugs as they all want to murder, rape, steal and riot, these two racist people are being completely ignored as they were not directly reported as LeiLani was the 'focus of the report'. To make things worse, the racist comments are being forgiven by Toumal, as he says, "They explained themselves that they had no intention of making blacks look bad but rather explain about how blacks and their community behave."
I am sickened. FA has had horrible things be done by staff and these horrible things have been ignored... but Dragoneer is a good enough person along with other FA staff that they eventually solve problems. For instance, Zaush is not a staff member anymore... and thus no longer is a sex offender and (ex?)rapist on staff. Other problems have also been dealt with, such as various attacks by hackers... even though it took a long time, problems are dealt with.
SoFurry has a history of perfection and it never having problems with its staff members ever abusing power or avoiding problems. SF has always made sure to punish everyone who breaks rules or performs criminal behavior ASAP. SF has also been benevolent and merciful, allowing first time offenders and people in good standing a chance at apologizing for breaking rules and anyone who is offended/harmed.
SoFurry has its perfect spotless history stained with the first massive pile of shit in history. I'm also worried. If this problem isn't solved soon, it might be ignored forever. SoFurry might actually prove itself as doing one thing and first thing worse than FA in the history of these two sites and their long standing existence and rivalry. SF might actually have its staff ignore blatant racist attacks.
My faith in humanity is already broken... must my faith in the furry fandom be broken next?

---

This new part is added as Moonblood has stated that Coluth and TheMasturbatingBear were merely debating things as fact and trying to make a point that their side is correct. Apparently, because it is a debate, the content is null and void as racism. Moonblood refuses to accept that calling all blacks horrible things and stating it is fact is racism because examples are used to argue it is true. I have lost all faith in the furry fandom. Moonblood refuses to budge, and so does the rest of the staff involved, Dr Calvin and Toumal. They adamantly deem it is not racist to call all blacks thugs, murderers, rapists, and thieves. Even worse, they refuse to drop the issue until I deem everything said not racist and completely true... what the fuck should I do now? If anything, they will stalk me on their site until I either give up and agree with them or I am gone from SoFurry forever. What the fuck has happened to the furry fandom?

---

This new part is added as an end to this issue. I agreed with Moonblood to drop the issue of racism in regards to the comments made in said journal. In exchange there will be no more drama about this issue and I shall avoid punishment for causing drama. There is nothing else to say. Best to look down and move on people...

Well... I've had it. Lei-Lani, a famous furry who is very wealthy and an important high authority on SoFurry has blown my mind with yet more of her horrible opinions and speeches on SoFurry, warranted me to finally report her there. She may be a writer... but she should never type a journal.

I could also report her here too if she goes into attacking 'inferior human breeds' as she calls Blacks and Arabs and attacking godless scum, as she calls Muslim, Buddhists, Wicca, and Hindus.
She really hates people based on skin color and origins, and attacks her fellow furries for not being christian on a regular basis.
I have heard her comments on why she says the N word a lot, and why she thinks all black people consist of lazy free-loaders who glorify crime and need to be shoved out of America. I heard her comments how there is no such thing as middle-eastern people who are not muslim and not terrorists, and how she says anyone descended of middle-eastern folk who aren't muslim are just converts, and those who aren't terrorists will just turn into terrorists later.
I heard of her say Muslim folk are godless scum worshipping the Sun and killing for the Sun. I hear her babble on how Buddhists consist solely of people dedicated to being selfish, proud, arrogant, and cruel. I heard her say Wiccans are evil devil worshippers who perform black magic and summon demons. I heard her say Hindus are delusional lunatics on drugs who belong back in the third world countries where they belong.

She says such hateful insulting things, and when confronted with it she says, "There is nothing wrong if it is true." Well, nothing she says is true. So maybe she is entirely wrong. Or maybe for the past 4 years her account has been hacked and under complete control of hackers and she has never posted a journal or comment in her life.

http://www.furaffinity.net/user/lei-lani/
https://leilani.sofurry.com/

Find out why she has attacked so many people for being blacks, arabs, and 'godless heathens' or at least help me confront her on it.

Also, someone, http://www.furaffinity.net/journals/machinesbleedtoo/, this person blocked me. They apparently made art I've never seen before and use an account name I've never heard of. We've never had contact with eachother. However, they say they did have another account that is no longer around and they were forced to re-use an old abandoned account. Who is this person. He/She is a wonderful wonderful artist with a beautiful personality and I love them for that, yet they will never know this. They will never even know who I am because they randomly blocked people they have never spoken to or seen anything of. It's odd that this has happened several times.
People have said some people make new accounts, but a new account has the same user, and a familiar art style and personality. Only someone with a mental disorder with multiple personalities can do what these many many people who blocked me have done. Some are also what are popufurs too... which makes me think that someone is convincing folk to block me on a large scale.

Then again, very few people ever even look at my journals, I have lost all my friends, and much of my family. I have been betrayed so much and so many people I love have died that I have no-one and nothing to watch me... feeling depressed.

Well, my stepdad's father went to the hospital early this morning, and is having a pacemaker put inside him for his heart tonight. His heart was just doing really really poorly, he didn't have a heart attack, but he could barely act with how slow his heart was pumping blood. At least he's going to be better. He will be at the hospital for about a week.

Also, now I got my mom's full support on becoming a police officer. Wonderful! I will do great things for my community and state. I am not only going to be a protector, but I will do my best to solve problems. As an officer, your duty isn't to punish people, but to enforce the law, and try to ensure safety and order across your territory.
I must admit, with that my family was stolen from this morning by some sad sorry poor dude makes me all the more concerned that more police with high morals to helping people is needed. Even lawbreakers deserve sympathy sometimes, its not the fault of the poor that they do what they have to to make by. They certainly shouldn't steal. And crimes deserve a punishment. But we are a civilized people, we won't lop off hands or imprison people for stealing. If anything, people steal cause they need help but they don't receive help. I could do more than enforce the law, I can also maintain order through kindness.
I'm lucky my county does not have murder commonplace, and the only thing that goes on typically is petty theft, and crap with heroine.

Hopefully things get better and better. Bad news is quickly replaced with good news.

An update on something important in regards to job and family...

It's not going to be easy for me because even passing a few necessary exams and being educated on law, I apparently have a requirement... a driver's license. Something which I managed to avoid focusing on but has to be brought up and I need one... ASAP. And I am not getting one anytime soon without assistance from my family. So it looks like my dream of continuing my family legacy will be on hold...

Literally... why something like this holds me back and not the things I can pass... is... frustrating I guess... but at least it can be solved...

well, I might as well copy and paste what I emailed to my cousin here. I told him on skype.
hey mike, horrible news
[9:38:42 PM] Vincent Gayder: my mom says we're a bit more than broke
[9:38:59 PM] Vincent Gayder: apparently she and dan have no money in the bank and no cash on hand
[9:39:53 PM] Vincent Gayder: because we have no money for our bills and no money for paying for cable and internet we could be homeless next month
[9:40:23 PM] Vincent Gayder: I honestly find what my mom and dan told me to be true, its so ridiculous and hard to accept.
[9:40:36 PM] Vincent Gayder: how could we be broke and next month be homeless?
[9:40:59 PM] Vincent Gayder: well, if you find out a way to help out I'd appreciate it

yup, to put things bluntly, my life is shit. to make things worse my computer power supply is busted, after extended use it begins to start smoking. literally grey smoke comes from it and the computer shuts off. I have no clue how to manage. I hate my life. we can't even feed our cats or buy cat litter... but I thought that was just my siblings being strapped on cash and not helping our pets... fuck!

I think I've finally cried and cried so much I either have finished mourning or have run out of the ability to do so...
As I've mentioned... my good friend and companion, 'Tinker, died, and I was heartbroken and mourning... he was one of the few reasons I have for living...
It has taken a while, but finally I've stopped crying at night... and am able to go to sleep without this as a problem...
He would sleep on my bed whenever I went to sleep at my bed, so it was easier to sleep every night thanks to him. In spite of all the horrible things in my past, my nightmares involving reliving various horrible things, he made sleeping easier... he made it possible.
My nightmares, my painful past, will persist, as one can't change the past, only influence the present and change the future, but he made enduring it possible.
I miss him still, but I am finally done crying... maybe I'll see him in my good dreams often? That would be nice. I'll sleep, and hope for good dreams, and hope for a chance to see him again then.

Uniquely, ever since one of the reasons and individuals I have not to commit suicide, had died and he had been buried, I had endured plenty of sorrow, but with the thanks of sympathy of others.

Oddly, not everyone gives two shits about others peoples sorrows or past tragedies.
Uniquely after my beloved had died, I had been blocked by a few people, mainly furry artists, few were good friends, but I had viewed them as friends, and I always supported their art and spoke well of them.

These people oddly tend to block me because they view my pain and sorrow as funny and stupid, and that I'm an emo-brat that word for word as some of them have said, should kill myself. Oddly, staff here at FA view people telling suicidal folk to commit suicide not as a crime deserving of punishment but as a humorous form of banter arguements to laugh at.

Recently another person, LukaFawx, had blocked me. But not because of me whining and complaining about recent tragedies I endure. Oddly, LukaFawx has oddly blocked me because apparently, being raped, having you house vandalized and even set on fire, as well as beaten senseless, out of peoples views of religious and racial superiority, as pointless meaningless suffering that can never compare to her family being currently poor and potentially even becoming homeless.
She attacked me as a Godless fool who should be willing to show sympathy to true suffering and embrace God rather than try convincing people 'that kindness will come from other people helping her rather than God plopping large sums of cash in front of her'.
I'm surprised she would attack me, but this is another example that Christians that are devout extremists will show hatred towards anyone who isn't embracing their religion. I offered some wise advice that denoted my desire to help her suffering family. She attacked me because heretics and heathens are the last people she wants helping her.
This is why my family can't roam our own community freely and why we can't be safe anywhere.
There are cruel heartless folk whose Egos are so strong in regards to religious supremacy that suffering so others can suffer is the only acceptable option in their lives.
I honestly hope LukaFawx and her family's monetary problems end. But I also hope her hatred ends as well. My lack of servitude and devotion doesn't warrant an attack by her, nor does the attack warrant me to end a hope she and her family suffers further.