It's wild to think this used to be such a big part of my life and now it's been over two years since my last update. It depresses me to see it left untouched for so long. I actually have some surprising good news about my chronic wrist pain. I went through an mri scan, and as per usual, everything came back normal. We have it pretty well narrowed down to being some kind of neurological problem. I highly suspect it may be psychosomatic. Just knowing there is no damage or structural aberration in my joints helps me fret less, which makes flare ups more manageable.

I've been weight training and working hard on my mental health lately, which seems to be helping. I know it'll take a lot of slow conditioning to uproot the anxiety that got me here, but maybe I'll draw like I used to one day. I have such an urge to get back into doing yiff and Pokémon content. In the meantime, I've taken up fursuiting and furry related toy photography/film making. Perhaps I should try posting some of that here.

I thought I would update since it's been so quiet around here. If you've payed attention, you're aware I've battled chronic pain for a few years now. It's finally become so severe that I basically can't draw anymore. Even if my condition improves, I doubt it's a good idea to keep doing things that agitate my wrists as badly as drawing does. I don't really know what to do with this account now. There's a possibility I'll come back to post clay and/or writing, but it absolutely breaks my heart to say I probably won't be drawing in any meaningful way again. So yeah, basically just informing y'all I have no choice but to quit my passion and the world is a wretched, unfair, god-awful place. I cannot possibly overstate my resentment for the hand I've been dealt.

I'm still having problems in both wrists, but I've recovered enough that I've been able to start Semi-seriously working on art again. I wouldn't consider myself fully back just yet, but I'm through the worst part of my hiatus. Submissions will most likely be trickling in at a slow rate until I'm fully healed.

My goodness, what has it been? Four months since I was last heard from? To sum things up, my wrists are still in too much pain for me to do much of anything and a couple of months ago I came down with an absolutely killer sore throat that is still bothering me. I am actually not even going to school right now because I wouldn't be able to do the work if I did. I kind of gave up hope and quit seeking medical help for a long time, but I'm done being helpless and my determination to get better has been reignited. I still don't know when I will be back to normal, but I think I'm on the right path.

Much love for every single one of you and please wish me well.

~Vivian

Sorry I've been so absent. My wrists have been hurting. I went to the doctor yesterday and it turns out I most likely have tendinitis. I'm not that worried about it, but I really won't be able to draw or do much of anything until it is fully healed. You probably won't see or hear much from me in the meantime. I'm trying to at least keep up with my friends, but the speech to text software I'm using is slow, clunky, and overall aggravating to use. Your patience is much appreciated.

Hey guys, my cover of Castle is finally live. I'd love it if y'all checked it out. <3

https://soundcloud.com/user-5634859.....uffs-vilethean

Hey! I’m doing a cover of the song Castle by Halsey. I’m creating a piece of art to accompany my cover on Soundcloud and Youtube and my concept requires two characters, one of whom will be my secondary fursona Vilethean: http://viviansthingstuffs.deviantar.....shot-692333603

I need another character to fill the second slot. The piece will be the second character sitting atop a royal throne. Vilethean will sit on their lap, draping herself over the throne in an effort to assert herself as the new queen. The piece will, of course, be sfw. If you have a character you think would suit this role or if you just want a chance at a free piece of art of your character, please send me visual refs (I don’t need a full ref sheet) and tell me you are gunning for the throne.

I just wanted to let everyone know that if my art has slowed down a bit lately, it is because I'm getting a little bit creatively fatigued with it. I'm still drawing, but I'm having difficulty mustering the motivation to finish anything. I'm going to be taking a little bit of a break from it to let myself recharge. I also want to get into making kandi and I plan to use that as a reprieve from drawing. I have some pony beads and elastic thread coming in the mail hopefully tomorrow and I will probably share some of my kandi creations with you guys. It will, of course, be furry themed, so it will still be my usual subject, but in a different medium. Ooh, hey, you guys might even get to see me. I'm ultra cute btw. :3 I have confidence that after some fun in a different medium, my inspiration and creativity for drawing will be back and stronger than ever.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ua3UZfRCd6M

This is a speedpaint of the candy gore piece from a few days ago. I nearly sacrificed my PC to blue-screen Satan to make this, so please send me some love.

This is it everyone! Here is the lucky winner:

http://viviansthingstuffs.deviantar.....Name-646194627

I should give a brief explanation of my reasoning, so here goes!

This character was one of only two non-furry entries, which made her immediately stand out. I thought on it and I realized that there is a lot of straight human/anthro content, but it is largely unexplored territory as far as lesbian content goes. The more I thought on it, the more interesting the idea of trying it out seemed, so I have decided to go for it! The finished piece will be up whenever I have it finished, so stay tuned!

You guys certainly did not make this an easy decision for me. I got some really great entries and I had to think long and hard to choose a winner. I will definitely be doing more of these in the future, so stay tuned for that as well!

My YCH contest is now closed to new entries. Thanks a ton to all seven participants; you guys are seriously awesome! AnyGAY, the winner should be announced sometime today or tomorrow.

I'm thinking about doing a free YCH thing. How it would work is I would put the sketch up, and then anyone who wants to enter would leave a link to their character and then I would pick the one I want to draw out of them. It would most likely be a mildly naughty pic featuring your character and Vivian. Would anyone be interested in such a thing?

I started drawing porn about 2.5 to 3 months ago and in that time, I have improved at drawing more than I've improved in the last four years. I've been so thrilled to see myself finally break through some huge barriers and I feel like there is nothing stopping me from going anywhere I could possibly want.

I have also finally worked up the courage to start interacting with fellow furries. I have felt so isolated from my kind for so long and it has been really great getting engaging with people who understand me a bit better than the everyday background characters who inhabit my real life.

There have been some less spectacular times as well though. Whenever my mind is in an erotic place, guilt, shame, and self-hatred are never more than a few doors down the corridor. This has been the case nearly my entire sexually-aware life. Spending this much time on porn has forced me to face these feelings and confront some painful realities with my shields down.

I won't go into too much detail on that though, because this is a happy journal. Overall, this has been an amazing journey and I hope it lasts for many years to come. <3 I give a huge thanks to all of my followers. 11 doesn't seem like a huge number in the grand scheme of things, but think about it: that means 11 people happened to see my art and decided they would be interested in seeing more from me. I greatly appreciate every single one of you. <3 I want to continue to get better for me, for you guys, for the passerbys, and for all of my future followers.

I'm really glad I decided to become an NSFW artist, but it's a bit awkward sometimes. For the first time in a long time, I feel real passion and love for the work I create, but I have to keep it all hidden. I only have one irl friend I really feel like I can share my content with and it isn't like I can show my family my true talent at this point. lol My parents know that I love drawing and that I do it all the time, but they haven't seen anything I've made in months and I can't help but wonder what they think about that.