Nearly a month ago (April 23rd) was my 33rd Birthmas. I didn't post a journal because things have been happening rather rapidly. Around that time, I had a telephone call (was supposed to be telehealth) appointment, and I was basically blown off by a second PA from a orthopedic center in Helena; The first PA was very kind, had listened well, and told me that they were going to have me to PT for 6 weeks to appease insurance and allow me to get MRIs done. If my disc was still herniated, I could get the discectomy that the doctor in Iowa had said I needed and was the last thing they could advise. If it had healed (though, to be fair, the only MRIs they had were from April of 2023, before I moved to Montana), then they would look for alternative treatments, as the epidurals no longer helped (they hadn't been since the first one, and even when I started getting them in the L-4/L-5 area again, where I had the first time and it helped for almost a year... they didn't help nearly as long. I thought it was due to the norovirus infection I had gone through not even a month later, but it seems that would not have caused it. Despite the fact the morning I woke up and had the full blown effects of it was the first day I had felt any pain since I got the injection on the level I had before I had gotten it). Cut to about 2/3 weeks later, Last week of March or first week of April, and I was told that the original PA was "no longer with the clinic". They offered to set me up with a different doctor, who had the same title (PA), but by this point? Only the original PA from their clinic had listened and been willing to help me with the pain. However, this clinic's medical professional had been the first to actually listen to me and willing to help me, no matter what the outcome was, and so I was willing to give her a shot. I regret that decision, due to the fact that the only response I have received since the telephone conversation was a message on the medical messaging app, telling me that they will not be doing anything else for me. They advised me to keep taking the nerve pain medicine I'm on (which hasn't helped with the nerve pain, only my anxiety, and that has been the case with every nerve pain medication I've been on. None I've taken have done me any good in terms of the nerve pain side of things), Physical Therapy (as per the original PA's instructions, which were both not what she said and impossible for me to do. The last session I had done with the P.T. had been basically me barely able to stand due to a mix of inability to sleep and my nerve pain being so bad I could barely move. She had rubbed something into my back and helped to loosen some knots, but all of the stress and anxiety had been so bad that I couldn't even move my shoulder too far for a stretch without causing severe pain) and to do more epidurals (which I had already told the first PA weren't helping me anymore, or barely at all, and I had told this new PA the same. It seems it had gone in one ear and out the other).

TL;DR - 33rd Birthmas last month, 23rd of April; lots of stress and anxiety because I have been having worsening nerve pain and was rejected for the 3rd time by the 3rd medical center after they 'parted ways' with the first medical professional in Montana to ever actually give a crap about my condition and want to genuinely help me no matter what the issue was. Needless to say, I'm not happy about it and not doing super well. Oh, also, Lunar's mom (my mother in law, essentially) isn't doing the best either. I think I'm actually having an empathic link with her, and when she has blood sugar drops from her type-2 diabetes, it is causing me to have blacking out spells.

So, yeah, getting close to the 23rd, and signaling my 32nd trip 'round the sun. I am unsure what to do or how to feel, minus sick, dizzy, not very awake or aware, and wanting to sleep... Cause those are all feelings I have right now..!

Anywhositwhatsit, I hope everyone has a great day, and don't forget, "Sometimes, it feels like the whole world is against you, but having one person standing by your side can shatter the illusion"

Call on me, if you need a hand. I'll always be someone you can lean on ^^;

Ko-Fi here - https://ko-fi.com/volumixendarkangel5079

Birthmas is next month, April 23rd, and I will be 32. Yay~

I redid my account, to reflect all of the personal and spiritual changes to myself. Unsure what will be reuploaded, especially because I really don't feel like getting in trouble with the admins for any art that may be against the rules now. I'm around, and here as usual.