Why won't my depression just go away..why do I keep fighting all these god damn ghosts.

Why can't my paranoid little brain just fuck off for a while..nothings wrong..

Part of me thinks that's whats wrong..

Working out, no shirt, just want to talk to people

http://www.livestream.com/wolfbane03

come and talk with this old boar :)

GO HERE!

MANLY SQEEEEEEE :DDDDD

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/11080630/

OMG amazing!!!

MY GYM IS OPEN AGAIN!

ZOOOOOM-

Reallly crappy day of traveling. Nothing but flight delays and to much flying.

But I'm back in Wisconsin now, only one more trip this year I think.

I'm coming Crt.

Like the bloody tide.

Ask me things so I can respond to them after my plane ride home!

Don't know what to say other then the last day was the best.

I'll see all you Furries next year <3

No way I'm missing it.

..do not be the last to fall asleep.

I was a total fanboy today, I got to meet Rukis, one of my favorite artists. Her art helped me figure out I was gay.

She is simply awesome.

I spent all my cash on her..gonna have to grab more from an ATM later..

Kinda feeling lonely for some reason..everyone's off doing stuff while I'm here relaxing so I'm just gonna pass out again and try and sleep more..

My mind loves to wander..

We are here!

Here with  literarywolf  yunin  callumfox and  crocdragon89

Met up with  firewolf39 and  Kaahl, separated from everyone else and went and had a blast! I may have been a little tipsy >>

Okay I was VERY tipsy.

I also ran into  aizui randomly XD was nice to meet her in person, also saw  niic but he didn't hear me when I called him.

More fun to be had tomorrow!

Going to be getting on the flight from Wisconsin at 12pm landing at my destination at around 5:30 after a layover about an hour and half into my journey.

Thanks for helping me get here.

And Crt...


I love you so fucking much.

So today's..or rather tomorrows question is..

What do you define as "friendship?"

And I will be getting the FUCK out of Wisconsin for a week.

God I am so excited, tonight is gonna dragggg.

This is what happened to me today.

I had an argument with my mother, this happens sometimes with people. I went back to my room to chill out on my laptop, she yells a bit, I yell a bit, pretty normal to have disagreements every once in a while.

Here's the part you shouldn't read if you are sensitive.

So her boyfriend comes in with a hammer, starts prodding me in the chest with it, tapping my laptop and telling me how he'll wreak my stuff if I don't go "get off my lazy ass and do something"

I tell him to quit touching me and to get out of my room.

He proceeded to start pushing me around, I pushed back, I'm not his dog, he doesn't own me.

He starts saying how he isn't afraid to go back to prison or something to that effect and starts pressing the hammer against me none to gently. Telling me how he's going to beat me/kill me.

I laugh in his face. I got tired of being afraid of him a while ago. I also am a lot bigger then I used to be.

Then..then this fucker twacks me in the balls with said hammer.

At this point I go into my combat mode. Everything gets a little clearer, a little easier to read, adrenalin starts pumping and I'm already mentally numbing my body so I can fight how I'll need to.

This is when my mother comes in and breaks up what I'm sure would of been a rather bloody brawl.

She proceeds to tell me how she loves me..but it's my fault in some twisted way, how I could of prevented it.

Because a 300 pound fat fuck who is 60 something years old has to try and intimidate me with a hammer and prove he's the alpha, the boss, the man of the household.


If you ever wonder why I don't join "packs" why I come off stoic, cold, angry.

That's why.


Over the years I've learned how to deal with this sort of thing. Learned how to take a hit and give one back.

Why I can't physically respond like I want to with my partners in the bedroom. For all there effort I'm still wondering if I'm about to be attacked.


This is why I come off so cold sometimes, why I'm always there to help when people need it.


I've seen the dark side of human nature. I don't want anyone else exposed to it like I am.


This is my normal.

So first person to comment on this gets a poem I'll make :)

Another step in the right direction.

Anything on your mind?

Go ahead and ask :)

I'm going to keep the details to myself, but I have a rather good chance of getting out of here.

I have a 6 month time limit.

I intend to be gone by then.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lmc21V-zBq0

Run Boy.

Run.

Taken from  cloud2012 who took it from  blahblah192 who took it from  rondogator who took it from..

1. Who is your boyfriend/girlfriend?
 crt

2. How did you two meet?
 blahblah192 advertised a stream he was doing, I showed up and we started trying to figure out his live-stream issues

3. When did you officially start dating?
March 4th for me, March 5th for him, darn time difference XD

4. Did you meet online?
Yup

5. What attracted you the most to him/her?
Openness, a willingness to try and understand others views.

6. Is he/she what you expected?
Nope, he's been better <3

7. Did you have sex on your first date?
Haven't really had a first date yet, not in person anyway.

8. Are you two freaks in bed?
It remains to be seen!

9. Do you live with them?
Nope, although possibility have recently opened up..

10. Are they snugglers?
Damn right.

11. What was the last compliment they gave you?
"My handsome man" I'm scruffy damn it :p

12. How long have you been dating?
3 months now

13. Would you spend the rest of your life with them?
I'm not entirely sure yet, I certainly see us remaining together for a long while <3

14. When will you see them next?
Hopefully before work.

15. What interests do you share?
Video games, movies, ect, ect. I'm still learning :)

16. Is there something you regret?
Making him worry, not being able to hold him tight in my arms.

17. What was the last thing he/she gave you?
A Worry stone he carved <3

18. What was the last thing you gave them?
A ring.

19. Are they willing to sacrifice for you?
Yes. Just yes.

20. Have they given you a ring?
Nope, already covered :)

Ask me things! the shaman boar wishes to hear your words!

I'm in a relationship, no means no.

Deal with it.

Where are you staying?
The Wyndham.


Departure?
Will be going to the airport on the third

Transportation:
Plane, then car

Who will you be rooming with?
 yunin  literarywolf  callumfox  crocdragon89

Who will you hang out with during the convention?
Probablt just the roomies

Will you be suiting?
Nope

Which suits?
^^^

What is your gender?
Male

How tall are you?
5'6

Are you taken? Are you looking for a 'mate'?
Happily taken

Can I talk to you?
If you wish

Can I touch you?
>.>

How can I find you?
Um..find me? XD Message me where you would like to meet :)

Can I visit your room?
Not up to me

Will you be going to parties?
Not planning to.

If I see you, how should I get your attention?
I would recommend waveing..or saying hi..I dunno XD

Do you have an artist table?
Nope.

Will you be performing?
Eh, maybe if there is some kind of open mic night

Do you have prints/CDs?
Nope.

Will you have art in the Art Show? General or Adult sections?
Nope.

Can I look in your sketchbook?
Don't have one

Can I draw in your sketchbook?
^^^

What/where will you be eating?
Wherever And whatever I please! Mwahahaha!

Can I come with you for food/fun/etc?
Um..sure?

Can I take your picture?
Why? XD

What's your goal(s) for the con this year?
Meet furrys! Buy stuff! Have fun!

I just got to see my Boyfriends face live over a camera for the first time.

It's an incredible privilege to finally gaze at the one I love, see his hair sway and his eye's move, instead of a frozen image from a photograph.

It's the little things.

I'm so happy right now.

I love you  crt <3

TOM CLANCY!

OPEN WORLD RPG!

SQQQQQUUUEEEE