A lot happened...i am currently in the Evita hospital in lanus due to a fractured bone.. https://imgur.com/AWGSLnP i had to get surgery and am now waiting on the leave since they transferred me to mental health a while after the knee surgery
I made some refunds :( i am terribly sorry.
But right now i am no good to draw anything let alone in this enviroment
Its bad but i wanted to thank all of the people which supported me <3
I would love it if i could come back one day...

it is 20th january here.. i thought i had nothing to celebrate, tbh...
but, it doesn't *have* to be like that
TY furaffinity and all kind and gentle ppl and friends<3

hello!
i am sorry about my lack of inactivity, it is not that i don't want to interact anymore...in addition to my mental health issues, i am having nervous and cardiac problems now, it makes it difficult to get anything done. I am just waiting to get help for it so that i can be my old self again, and produce art and have more positive interactions with the FA community. I hope that explains my hiatus.
Well, i was feeling lonely, so i wondered if anybody would like to have like, a cyber birthday party or something--when jan 20th comes, something like maybe in the comments section, or we could make a discord chat, or something. My only IRL friend got prohibited from my house,and i don't want to spend it pathetically like i did new year's.

Also, i wanted to get myself a birthday present, i saw this rouge plushy, it is like $13 USD shipped: https://articulo.mercadolibre.com.a.....amp;type=item&amp;tracking_id=7b4416ee-1a04-41ef-8d92-c292fa6a7f88 (it's $4,770 pesos total, cus shipping is like $1,020 pesos and the plushy is $3,770 pesos)
I don't have any money for it, but i do have this graphics card, if anyone wants it i can lower it to $5000 pesos: https://articulo.mercadolibre.com.a.....ut=grid&type=item&tracking_id=763bfed5-eec0-42ee-bfe2-f6eddfcffd24
Someone commented "Bueno dale ahí hago la compra" (Ok, i'll make the purchase now) but he never did.

It's ok tho, i don't NEED a present, i just miss getting toys, i used to collect toys all the time, but after 2021, things got bad econonically, and can't really collect since. But in the grand scheme of things, it's not really what i really need...

Well, i am not sure what else to share n.n, i feel the need to come back to FA nearly everyday, but because i hate the fact that i am so depressive and having the current health issues so prominently in my mind, i feel it is not good nor positive for the community, and it is better to abstain myself until i am in a better place. But i miss you all very much.

As for the fcyber birthday party thing, i dont know the first thing about how to set it up lol n.n, but maybe we can brainstorm something together

I hope everybody had a great holiday, and a better new year's eve than mine...and, i wish you all the best for this new year of 2023 that's just started <3

Lately i can't get happy about anything (the last i remember having a fun time was watching the new "beavis and butthead do the universe" movie yesterday...but that's not productive...that doesn't make any "money" or is contributing to "society" or whatever)
I have difficult getting to draw anything anymore, i used to have fun just drawing, now i feel fun has been drained out of me.
I've been thinking i don't enjoy living anymore. (I know it's a meme to "kill yourself", but it's sort of how i feel right now...not that i am going to kill myself, just that i feel pretty dead even though i am technically alive...i hope i am making some kind of sense.)

I have all of these ideas racing through my mind, of my oc, of tails and klonoa, and sally, and fiona, and cody calf...full blown out stories and various scenarios. It is really frustrating that i can't put them into drawing because once i stop fantasizing and daydreaming about them, my mind snaps back to the regular state of mental problems i can't shake.

I'm so frustrated and dissilussioned, of the maybe 3 people i felt a close connection and attraction to online and felt interested enough to try and maybe share and engage and build up on my personal or private erotic fantasies and sexual fanart together, i've only had moderate success, or it would happen that communication or interest broke down or shifted. And it is really hard for me to come out of my shell and approach people, aswell as open up to them. The erotic fanarts are not as stimulating as they once were, i think this is also a product of stress and my life in general. Lately my libido is not as high as it used to be...i must be the one unlucky bastard in all of the internet, the one place that is full of porn and horny people, that can't make it work.
Sex is an important part of my life (maybe not in the conventional way it is for most people that get it on IRL or whatever), i am not sure if i should try to rekindle it...maybe post some new artworks or try and meet new people that will be more in tune to entertain my fantasies...maybe it's a stupid idea, and i am being unrealistic about what to expect from online relationships...i wonder if i always was to begin with.

Are there any activities or games that hook you up and when you realize it 5 or 8 hours passed by?
I need something to take my mind off things right now and i figured i'd ask for everybody's opinion.

hey guys, does anybody know if there's any games past 2014 that will run on an 32bit OS with integrated grahics (Intel hd4000 or intel q43/q45 chipset, i never know which one) and old processor (Core 2 Duo E8440 3ghz)?
So far i found:
Thimbleweed Park
Sonic Mania
Stardew Valley
Cuphead
Yatagarasu -Attack On Cataclysm-
Valfaris
Blazing Chrome
Xeno Crisis
BallisticNG (only the old v0.9.4 version, can't find it.)
Retromania Wrestling
River City Ransom Underground
Shakedown Hawaii

Lee Carvallo's Putting Challenge
Bonestorm (Add my username on Steam: THRILLHO
or GO TO HELL (No, don't go to hell please, simpsons reference XD )
Would be nice if https://www.pcgamingwiki.com/ or even Steam would let you tick a box to browse only games that allow 32 bits

If you happen to know any games from 2014 onwards, that are not available on PS3, and are 32-bit and think may run on my potato IGP, please let me know n.n, specially 3d ones 'cus i was looking at pixel art for more of a chance that they'd be 32bit compatible,.
But maybe some retro-looking/low poly games may run?Like "Jazzpunk", that was 3d.


thanks...(i mean it was great in 2009..it could run quake 4, doom 3...sega model 2 emulator, it does have a place in my heart...but it's been more than a decade now, that is a long time when it comes to technology progress...)

Still a bit sad to play much of anything, i need to process this problem, get out of the funk i am in, and get my morale back up, but i figured i would ask, so even with a 2009 pc, you can still have fun.
But also, to talk to you guys...it is not good to stay in bed 24 hours and not reach out with people and talk about whatever, we're social beings, mourning is understandable but i have to slowly overcome it.

bad news...the pc's motherboard is fucked. I had to gut all valuable parts and throw it out. Another pc would cost me $462 bucks: https://articulo.mercadolibre.com.a.....899-bee2-8f9df0cd1b9a
But with my depression and nerve problems, there is no way i can make that kind of money...even at $6/10/20 a commission, where would i find 18 clients?I don't have that kind of money (the other PC was a practical gift, i bought it from my brother for $40,000 pesos...that's just what the "RX 550" video card costs alone.)
To say i am devastated is an understatement...i've been using the same dell pc for 12 years...i inherited generously the ps3 from my brother to play and i was happy, but they ended ps3 support for games in 2014-ish/small part of 2015?.
I just gave up and took pills /tge xanax and oloft for mty depression and anxiety and to lower stress, if ever i needed em was now to quench anguish over..my life really
and stayed in bed for most of these past 2 days...i was just, defeated and remembered of my country's and personal life and situation and it just decimated me.
I don't know what to do...i have those collectibles i wanted to sell but my friend hasn't posted them on ebay...idk...
I am depressed... (well, more so than usual)
thank you argentina

Hi, thank you again for having me back on furaffinity...it is the kindest, most understanding and supportive community i've been in my 22-23 years of using the internet. I have a problem, and i was wondering, sort of as a desperate last resort, if anybody had any tips on how to restore my computer (I am back on my old 2009 Dell optiplex 760 pc now...):
"N*******o *** 29 min · Compartido con: Público
I am depressed.
My new computer broke, all because i was trying to fix the faulty USB ports...it was a special deal offer from my brother, i can never buy a "Radeon RX 550" card on my own, it is $180 dollars, i dont have a job to make that kind of money. and The computer won't boot now. I feel like shit, i wanna slit my...balls."

"N*******o *** 21 min ·
Compartido con: Público
Goodbye 8th/(some) 9th generation gaming.
Hello third world poverty my old friend."
What happened was, i was trying to make these faulty USB ports work with my external hard drive, it was brand new and i really needed the space, but it'd outright not work on the usb 3.0 ones, and the regular speed usb ports picked it up for a while, with errors, meaning potential damage to files (not as big of a deal) or the disk itself due to stopping and starting and being screwy (big, big deal >.<) so i enter the bios and disable some of the USB options, and one of them was to disable USB controller. Meaning, all USB were disabled, leaving me with no way to use any input, keyboard, mouse...don't have an old ps/2 keyboard/mouse since decades either.
So: i am recommended to turn it off, take it off the AC power for 10 minutes, remove the battery in the motherboard, wait another 10 minutes, put it back in, reconnect it to the power outlet, and restart it, so that it'd reset the bios settings. It worked. Except, it would not recognize my graphics card (AMD RX 550), which i had to take out since THE BOARD MANUFACTURER HAD THE GENIUS IDEA OF PUTTING THE BATTERY *UNDER* THE CARD BELOW THE PCI-E SLOT smh. So it would recognize integrated graphics Ryzen 7 or whatever, but not my graphics card. Now using VGA as integrated doesn't have hdmi. Long story short, graphics card is not being recognied, i try and slide it in in case i put the card wrong and its not making contact, the fan spins but no dice. Not showing in devices, amd is telling me the driver is incompatible, so i uninstall AMD utility, download the auto-recognition software from AMD, at this point the fan had stopped spinning, and the software only recognized a "Ryzen 7" (integrated graphics)
And now, i can't even get the computer to turn on, it will power up, the power suply fan will spin, reset light lights up, but nothing comes on screen,i am not able to use it, not even with the integrated graphics video anymore, it won't boot.
So yeah, i think my dumb fucking ass just destroyed the only chance an unemployed asshole like me will get to have a 8th gen gaming experience, go me and my stupid idiot fucking idea.

I truly just wanted to better my pc, now that i finally i had a new-ish one after 12 years. Get it more storage space.
I ended up ruining things.

If anybody has any tips or ideas on why it may not turn on (the pc...the video card, i have no idea but i am fearful...well, i better not think about it may be broken because i will just get depressed even more) please let me know. Maybe there is a way to get it back to boot at least on integrated video, or i am doing something wrong that i am not seeing in my desperate state, maybe i disconnected some cable while removing the graphics card and am not aware, i just don't know.
Thank you kindly.
Sorry for the venting, to say i am devastated is an understatement...

I have been having issues performing over the past months.
My mental health kept getting worst and this combined with the often lack of available medication for my depression and anxiety made the situation really difficult for me.
I started becoming reclusive and avoidant, i felt very guilty and still do now, i am very ashamed to be writing this right now, and it was not the ideal solution i'd have wished which was to give back the money, AND finish the commissions eventually, nor is this the explanation you deserve, which i would like to do, but is much more personal and would require me to go more in depth about my declining mental health issues and the problems occuring in my household which affect my ability to focus and perform in an acceptable and professional manner.
But i had to speak, i can give a more in-depth explanation afterwards, but i just had to say something, i have to get it out of my system.
To everybody i hurt, i am very sorry.
Around two days ago, i started feeling motivated and confident again, and missed this place very very much, so i couldn't help to try and come back.
But i don't know if it is up to me to come back to your community, after i ruined my reputation the way i did, and affected you negatively.
If you are willing to have me back, i can give another earnest shot at finishing your commissions.
If there is no longer a place for me here, sadly i will understand, the blame is entirely on me, there is no way around it.

It is very difficult to face you all with a straight face, but i will try to be strong and come back again to check on this journal.

I was trying to get the money back to you, but i soon realized i would at risk of repeating my past mistake when my behaviour was pointed out to me.
I will try to sell my personal items in the meantime and try to gather back the paypal for you that way: https://imgur.com/a/IFQHAYs
I had this on my mind since May of this year, i will consult my friend for selling them. If he consents, he can sell them directly himself, and send the money back to you, so that i do not have to touch any money myself.
I would rather try and finish your artworks in the meantime, but it is important for me to reconcile first, and make amends with everyone whom i owe these artworks.
I understand if you hate me, i am very regretful and remorseful.

I apologize deeply and sincerely. I feel very bad.

Hiya
I'm in dire need of help lately, i've been feeling unwell physically and thought instead of asking for donations, i'd start a patreon like subscription service: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/45374416/
I've not been able to eat well and it's taking a toll on me: https://www.facebook.com/permalink......zE438NVhpxo2L7SfXp51vp1dA-QpcxEZOmQpfvvBZzEPfPT-mI&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R
If you're interested, just send your pledge to anapancheri[at]gmail.com and please send me a note if you do so that i can know who to send the artworks to n.n Ideally the cost would be $15 per month (the site i use, saldo.com.ar, to cash out into Argentine pesos to buy the food, won't let me cash out if it is any less than that >.<) With this i could buy something nutrituous to get by and feel a bit healthier through the day.
You'll be getting 30 sketches per month, plus a few select ones will be cleaned-up, colored, and sent to you at the end of every month, i hope it's a good deal. If you could please share it around, it'd be greatly appreciated.
In the meantime i'll keep up the daily sketches to prepare to get back to the commissions i owe. Thank you kindly for your time.

I am sorry, right now i, um, mustered up some courage so to speak...
I was wondering if anybody would like a quick $5 black and white sketch (or $6, i don't know how much paypal takes, the thing is, i needed $15 to be able to cash out the minimum on this site: https://saldo.com.ar/ ) Saldo.com.ar takes a fee, my paypal which is anapancheri[at]gmail.com takes a fee, so i don't know how much i actually need.
My mom has a $400 debt at the grocery store and she asked me for help, and it broke my heart because i am not in the condition that i used to be and made me feel sorrowful because i could have helped when i was in a good mental state had i known.
A friend offered $10 generously but sadly saldo.com.ar will not let me take any less than $15 out, which is why...honestly i shouldn't be asking him anything, it is not his fault...this is a friend who has helped me out thorougly and tremendously and so altho grateful, i feel super bad it'd be him as he's done a *lot for me already.
Thank you
Although $15 will not make much of a dent on a $400 debt i would just like to feel as if i am doing something , anything to help, at least
I wanted to sell my shit but i have no real valuables and people here in argentina don't have much cash to spend on regular comics, toys, and consoles with defects from my experience

I've been fighting against a very debilitating clinical depression for a while now...these past few weeks affected me particularly hard and i felt so terribly sad...i didn't think i could do anything--it's like my energy was zapped out of me, and nothing i derived joy from before seemed to get me back up again. I feel specially bad about commissions because you are always ultra nice and patient, and deserve better...i deserve all the blame. Back in the late 00's/early 10's, i was able to do commissions, ychs, with a faster turnout...this is my only source of income, and i felt i could still do it back at the time i accepted your commissions, but then i started having different medical problems. If i could give back the money, i would, but out of respect, because i would still do the commissions, i don't want anybody to be mad or feel disrespected. I took up more than i thought i could chew, because i used to be able to do it, and it frustrates me that i can't seem to do it anymore. It is also my only source of income, i do not have a proper job because the economy here is terrible, and the welfarre that i received i am giving it 100% to my mom (it is not much because it has devaluated greatly and my country, argentina, has a huge inflation problem), we're several people living in the household, 3 of us are on medications for different conditions, so money is a problem and i get sad when i think about it, and about how helpless i am being towards it (10 to 14 years ago my plan was to get psych help, get a standard job, any job, i had signed up for school janitor, but the demand was very high and i never qualified) and help somewhat (i thought i could save, and maybe that way i could have a retirement...the *insane* amount of inflation and devaluation, would have made it that my money is worth peanuts 10 to 15 years down the road, of course, i never expected that back in the day...1 dollar was like what, 3,50 pesos in 2011?Now it is nearing 200 pesos per dolar...and salary is generally, i am guessing for low end jobs, $15,000 pesos?If you account for medications (and that's with my mom's union medical insurance, i shudder to think what full non-discount price is...possibly half the salary?) 1 kg of meat is $700 pesos, vegetables are fruit are, crazily enough, often more expensive than meat (?!) so good nutrition becomes impossible.

I just wanted to explain, why i am so disheartened and lost so much hope in life, and quality of life in general...i never for a minute did not want to continue with commissions or anything even close ike that. You helped me and are on my mind often.

I used commission money to buy a lot of peanuts and seeds which they say cotain a lot of vitamins and nutrients, soup, noodles, rice (which are cheap, one of my neighbours was selling me 3 packages of noodles (1,5 kg total) for $100 pesos (is it like, 60 cents of a dollar or so?), i also managed to replace my broken monitor and tablet, it was all thanks to you.

I am very grateful.

I don't know when i will be able to do all the commissions...i do not have an estimate time for finishing anything...i am incredibly sorry, i am very unstable, this is all my fault and responsability. I am very ashamed and not proud at all. But please know that my intent is to do so...

I wished to start a like service, like patreon, because employment is at an all time low, i have not support from the state/government other than my dissability welfarre which has devaluated to the point it is not significantly helpful, but that didn't work out...I was thinking of putting my email here or asking if anybody was interested in donating to me (you absolutely don't HAVE to tho, please)...but would that be ok?I feel embarrassed about it, it is a desperate and tricky situation for me.

Hello again everyone,
I've been holding off on making this journal, i had tried to note and message some people explaining my situation, but it was still difficult...
Last month something happened to me which i never experienced ever, i've had issues with mental health before, but they were mostly depression, anxiety nothing to the point of what happened last month...i basically started having delusions and experiences which now i realize were dream-like and not real, but at the time, i believed them as reality, i can spare you the details if you prefer because i am not fond of the experience >_<, but it was one of the creepiest experiences i probably went through...i can tell you if you really wanna know by note or something, but what basically happened i started believing that i had been hacked, that i was being threatened / blackmailed...and ran the risk of going to jail (at one point i believed i WENT detained and made a declaration...i don't know what triggered these...hallucinations?they were like...i'm not sure how to explain, like i'd dream stuff or experience it in my mind, but couldn't tell it apart from reality, except, it happened when i was awake.)
Nothing specific in particular seemed to have triggered it that i can tell, that is the creepy part.
As i wasn't really in control of what went through in my mind, i couldn't make progress in the commissions at all... (in fact i asked my parents to format the pc because it was hacked and lost a bunch of data that i never backed up that way >.< in fact they told me i would talk to them about how the hackers were communicating with me still even though there was nothing on the screen since they decided to take away the cpu and the cellphone, so there was no way, yet they told me i still said i kept seeing things in the monitor...) it came out of the blue, in the sense that i can't pinpoint what triggered the issue, and i've been feeling pretty sad and guilty about not being able to work on things since that happened..i haven't had anything like this happened until i finally came to my senses this month...i changed medication now...at first i was reluctant because it seemed like a one-time thing but i am giving it a try anyway.
The reason it took me so long to speak up is because i was feeling very anxious and depressed for most of the month.

It's been bothering real bad :( i didn't want to keep people in the dark or anything...nobody seemed mad or angry, i was hessitant because the delay may had pissed people off, but it was all in my mind afterall...thank you guys for your patience, and really, really sorry about all this.
Since i'm finally snapping out of it, i would like to continue now, if that's ok and you're still interested...it may take me some time, so i am sorry in advance if i am not as fast at turning out sketches and pictures, but please know i am committed to doing all of them ( uwu*)

Here is a current list WIP that i had posted last journal, so we can all keep track of things...i wish i had better news to report, but hopefully better times will come and before long my FA account can get back to normal and more active n.n*

 Ilirej - Comic book project commission (First page finished, the remaining pages still to be done.) 5 Black and white YCH commissions (Pending..)
 FoxyKitsune5668 - A black and white ych commission (Completed!)
 Kaelies - 5 color ych commissions (1st commission at early stage, now being worked on..)
 BJbear2001 - Design / fact-sheet blue-print commission, and a photograph commission (Pending)
 why_me777 - 6 YCH Color commission (First YCH started work on, i am at the early stage of working on the initial sketch of the 1st.)
 darkorangereturns - YCH commission (Completed!)
 Osprey - Cody x Miss Lilly commission :3 sorry about the delay on this, i know i was meant to provide a work in progress sooner...
A_S (I've your e-mail---i am trying to find your FA username again ^^,! I am still contacting you through email, but feel free to comment here if you like so i can edit it!) - Dragon x Liliana Vess black and white commission (Pending--also my apologies for not being able to provide a W.I.P. yet... >.<=
 AiluropodaUwU - 2 Black and white commissions (2 out of 4 finished.)
 deadbattery - Color commission


 fc32 &  astraltraveler000 - i hit a bump on your commissions late last year...afterwards, i became too embarrassed to contact you ;w;? but i wish to make up for it somehow

If i missed anything or anybody, please let me know thank you ^^,

Hello everyone,
First off i wanted to thank you both, again for your help and support with what happened to me last month--but also, for your patience, because, i haven't been able to deliver commissions as quickly as i'd hope for. This month was a bit rough on me aswell, i felt the need to explain why, both to have peace of mind myself, but to keep everybody updated, as i was going to make a journal for organizing a list of commissions i had, so all users could come by and get updated on my progress as i go along...
Well, the first thing is i ran into some medical problems again >.< it wasn't even half through the month, and i ran out of medication for my anxiety (Xanax), the doctor is the one responsible for making the prescription, but he can be hard to get hold off...this means i had to quit the medication "cold turkey" again, ideally what is adviced is to lower the dose instead, because i was caught off guard, i could not do this. A couple of days after, i received a notice to take the first shot of the "Sinopharm" COVID-19 vaccine, this was both exciting and scary for me, but it created another problem, you are asked not to drink any alcohol for 48hs since being vaccinated...i habitually drink daily, and this coming out of the blue aswell, made me have a bit of a withdrawal too. It just wasn't a very fun experience to go through :( that's mostly why i couldn't focus or perform well...
I do want to, though ;w; i've been trying to get my account going again since the beginning of this year...i don't want to quit or abandon it, i keep hitting bumps but they are generally health related, or technical problems, quitting, it's just not what i want.
Anyway, now that i have gotten that off my chest, i'd like to post a list of the commissions i owe ^^, (it is in no particular order) thanks again to each and everyone who chose to commission me despite my issues;
 Ilirej - Comic book project commission (First page finished, the remaining pages still to be done.) 5 Black and white YCH commissions (Pending..)
 FoxyKitsune5668 - A black and white ych commission (Pending...)
 Kaelies - 5 color ych commissions (1st commission at early stage, now being worked on..)
 BJbear2001 - Design / fact-sheet blue-print commission, and a photograph commission (Pending)
 why_me777 - 6 YCH Color commission (First YCH started work on, i am at the early stage of working on the initial sketch of the 1st.)
 darkorangereturns - It was an YCH commission, right?I am trying to find the information ^^, maybe you can comment here if you see this. I will note you if not, because i will still need the reference and pose, but i am 100% sure you ordered a commission.)
 Osprey - Cody x Miss Lilly commission :3 sorry about the delay on this, i know i was meant to provide a work in progress sooner...
A_S (I've your e-mail---i am trying to find your FA username again ^^,! I am still contacting you through email, but feel free to comment here if you like so i can edit it!) - Dragon x Liliana Vess black and white commission (Pending--also my apologies for not being able to provide a W.I.P. yet... >.<=
 AiluropodaUwU - 2 Black and white commissions (2 out of 4 finished.)
 deadbattery - Color commission


 fc32 &  astraltraveler000 - i hit a bump on your commissions late last year...afterwards, i became too embarrassed to contact you ;w;? but i wish to make up for it somehow

If i missed anything or anybody, please let me know ^^,

It was so helpful and heartfelt.
I had some physical problems which are subduing already, and i no longer want to think about what happened 2 weeks ago. Such toxic bullshit...it's not good to have on the mind.
More importantly, i want to apologize about any and all delays at communication and specially the commissions, it takes me some time, but i want to make everyone happy, all users, so i will do it, little by little...better yet, if i can go into overdrive and focus as much as possible. My lineart isn't as good as i'd had hoped, so i want to take up some way to make it up, by shading or otherwise, i don't want to rush anything, and i don't want to take too long. I appreciate your patience, i never mean to take it for granted so i feel sorry when it may come out that way after so much help and appreciation was directed my way of all people, they could not get a fast enough production.I'm sure it feels bad for them to, i am trying to ammend this.

Please look forward to my activity again ^^* i can do it, i can get fired up...i'll do it no matter what!
& Thank you again for everything, i'm very humbled by your support and help.

Also i will be starting my commissions now, that i actually not feel like human crap...these past 3 days have been awful.
I am currently looking for donations for my stolen money of $15 dollars (can be sent at anapancheri[at]gmail.com if you have any to spare...also i am willing to make commissions of course, also canbe sent at anapancheri[at]gmail.com and note me the details, i can pull allnighters so you won't have to wait long for the other commishes to finish if you like) So; yesterday i had many cumulative experiences with a scumbag seller, he sold me food in good condition, for half the price of supermakret (eg, 30 cents per 500mg bag of noodles...14 broth cubes for like a dollar...to help my mom in end of month should be good i think.) even my $5 dollar monitor he sold me) but then for some reason, maybe he realized i was buynig frquently for him and wanted to make money off of me by less than ethical means?i do't know, the thing is, he started selling me broken electronics, broken toys, i'd exchange them, and he'd give me yet another broken one...and he does NOT give cash back. Then to top it all off, as i was waiting for him to attend me (some junkie kids and a girl were hanging around) they leave suddenly and quickly after without buying anything, suspiciously. I find later that my $7000 pesos are gone :( (i think it's rather obvious what happened..)
So i lost my mind, i trie to search for their house (against my mom's wish who they were students of her "tjey won't give it back, wathc out the have guns) i don't care, at least apologize for stealing medication money, i've to take xanax and it does not come free, nor does natidepressant, it's the ethical thing to do if you're at leat 0,0001 not a pice of shit)
well, i went, fuming all over near blocks to no availe, even convinced my my to help me recognize the house...nothing, her mother was there but did not regognize a thing.
Then yesterday it seems all this out burst catched up on my and took a toll...i went to the supermarket as usual, and my knees, legs and spine starteed giving in ad i crashed, first at the store (he helped me up), then as i was crossing the street, fell, scratched my hand, broke ALL $430 pesos worth of merchandise, leaving glass and liquid all over the street (the MIDDLE of the street min dyou, asphalt, i crawled to the curb ASAP and tried to clear out the glass so as to not affect any car's tires)
so this nice guy offers to call a taxi i got buy another figuring i can place it in the seat until i am driving back to my house's door...
Police arrive, super helpful to me, tkae my data, call an ambulance instead as at that point they realized, my legs and spine were beyond useless, the even nicer ambulance comes and helps me and treates me very humanely, i grab my bag, and with the help of the nurse go has me by the hand, then somehow, either my spine pulls back or my legs give in backwards, i have no fucking clue, even while i am being held by the right arm, i fall on my ass...boom, another glass container crushed beyond repair, $790 down the drain...at this point he must have realized something is majorly wrong so he broke out the wheelchair and we arrived safely to the ambulance. once at the hospital, they gave me an IV: (Don't worry, NO blood whatosever in the picture, just paper gause over cotton to keep the needle secured..NO needle visible either, this was after it was removed...just a warning in case someone's triggered) https://files.fm/f/2vwahd7ej they must know what they're doing, after driving me back to home, entering me in wheelchair, and my parents helped me get up to the bed, in around 5 to 10 hours of rest i could walk around again, this mroning, i was already good as new (no pain, regained loss of my lower body..) they really know what they're doing...
so im back in shape..physically at least (my parents berated me, my dad tried to put the guilt on me that he vomited blood and felt bad, my mom told me that she doesn't love me, which hurt, like excuse me but i didn't CHOOSE to have a severe physical breakdown!you didn't think i was worried about how you may feel? first time i looke up quick and painless suicide, and actually wasn't as hessitant to go for it, unlike in my teens wherei ws t o scared)...but the phyisical damage, whatever was in that IV, it fixed me up good.
sorry for the rant, i need to keep you on the up and up about your commissions no matter what, and i guess it is also a selfish thingm after all that happened, i needed a place to vent, you needn't read all of this at all, i know it is a mess, please refrain if you like, i needed to get it out is all, i am hurting..

it is embarrassing, but...may i borrow $10?or if you'd like a commission for that amount, i can sell you it, but i think my art is not so interesting, so maybe i can borrow it (i promise to give it back, please feel free to send it with buyer protection if you wish, i want you to be tranquil that your money is safe..)
See...... i am very distraught over my favorite artist's patreon situation...patrons are dropping left and right, everyday, he told me...
that is no way to treat an artist ;w; it pained me because he gave art (SUPERB art mind you) for over a decade
i could care less if it was some hack, mean spirited "artist", but him, i really appreciate
the problem is my monitor's blotch is expanding and i haven't reached enough to buy an old CRT yet (they should be giving those away if i know anything about wasteful people who throw obsolete media as if it was not worth a thing...one man's trash is another man's treasure, isn't it?to me it's not just "treasure", i need a screen to draw and work on commissions, it is my livelihood, but i digress)
Well..i was wondering if i could borrow $10 (i promise to give it back, if you wish to send it with ebay buyer protection for security please do go ahead ^^ i am determined)
i got fortunate enough to receive 2 commission offers...but i cashed the paypal out, because these past few months things in my household have gotten particularly dire, and my mom can't make ends meet at the end of the month...i can't just sit idly, i feel my duty is to help her, she helped me throughout her lifetime and never asked anything of me even when i tried to support back and provide and help, but failed (Thank you argentina government...not...thieves...)

Preface: If you happen to feel like helping me out, you can do so through my paypal; anapancheri[at]gmail.com ...thanks kindly in advance.
I'm pretty ashamed to ask this...but, simply, i cannot draw competently anymore, i think my mental distress and constant nervous and tense state finally started catching up to me back since 2018 just about. Simply putm i can't do well what my passion is, art and furry art....
So my only income is gone, my family's composed of my mom, dad, and us 3 brothers, and we all subsist on a single income (her retirement), the economic strain is huge.
So i was wondering, if anybody would like to donate to me, any amount, all is appreciated, i'd be grateful.
I lost my drawing ability, i tried and was mocked by 4chan telling me it's alzheimer chicken scratch, i'm not mad at them i am just frustrated because it is true...
Well, please let me know if you'd be interested in my donation paypal email...i know my art took a nosedive, but i will be more than happy to draw a black and white, sketchy giftart to any and all donors <3
Thank you

First of, thank you to my clients for waiting for me, it took way too long for me to pick myself up by the bootstraps, you deserved prompter service, and you deserved quality service. And i couldn't make it. I don't know what it is about my depression, maybe it is a cyclycal thing, i couldn't tell you, but it's not the first time it has happened, and i feel guiltier everytime >.< i used to do this all the time back in 2015, my frustration becomes unsurmountable :( i am fortunate to have such understanding clients and to be in a platform with such sympathetic people. I will start sketching again now that i am motivated, and hope that soon i will have all of your commissions ready, thanks for believing in me, even if i felt undeserving ( uwu*)

OK!Having let those pent up thoughts and feelings out, let's get to the topic at hand. As you all well know, 2 years ago, something happened, it seemed to make no sense, no reason, yet, it was all too real. Fast forward to just the past few weeks, this, which seriously matters to me, has taken a fast and sudden rise of epidemic proportions all across the media. I am talking about the pandemic that plagues hollywood: Sequels, Reboots and Remakes nobody asked for, particularly, "Space Jam 2"
Now, it seems to me her redesign looks beautiful (In the screenshot, not so much the promo art: https://www.deviantart.com/alvaxero.....qWnLj_vXRKYPqY ) boi she still THICC <3 and i don't mind a flat chest. I kinda like flat chest too, i like feminine male characters which look basically how lola looks now. Boobs are not a deal breaker for me, the butt is. I just think it's dumb, out of touch and pointless to make that change, not just the change, the REASONING behind the DECISION =_= they are clueless.

Anyway, seeing as they don't want people to see her as hot, and i am not embarrassed to admit that i find her super hot, i have busted a nut to her so many times that my dick has now worn out and looks like a sharpened pencil, and am not embarrassed to admit it, i will counter their expected reaction that they assumed for the redesign, and proceed to draw 1 lola bunny sexy fanart a day until Space Jam: A New Legacy comes out because:
1) She's still hot asshole: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lOR.....xuM&t=176s
2) I am an idiot
3)I have too much free time

You guys are the best, and super compasionate / understanding.
I wanted to thank particularly  fc32 and a dear old friend;  AstralTraveler000
Although i don't know how long it may take me ;w; one thing¡s for sure, i will NOT let you down *hugs*

Hi FA friends,
first and foremost, i think i owe an explanation, and an apology,
i've been having some troubling mental and emotional issues--stress and depression came back to me and hit me hard.
Which is why i've been having such a hiatus regarding producing content and finishing commissions.
I should've said something sooner, but i was scared, and sad...this is my fault.
But i received much understanding and support, and that meants a lot to me.
I am making this journal as a reminder, and a stepping stone to slowly get back to art.

Thanks to everyone who had such extreme patience with me, and compassion.
And i am sorry to the people i may have affected...my idea is finishing the commissions, and then offering the kind clients that were unfairly affected by my situation a free commission as i feel rather guilty they had to put up with my inactivity.

But i still have the paypal money ( around $50 dollars) i haven't touched it and i will give it back if you prefer it, i dont wanna feel defeated by my shitty state of mind but it should not come at the expense of the people who were generous and supportive to me, so it is the right thing to do.

Sorry everybody..

Thank you, and i hope to continue making content for you to enjoy and also get my productivity back again so i may offer commissions to you that i can deliver promptly.

he donated the totality of what i needed for the tablet.
I'm so appreciative of it, you've no idea...thank you for getting me out of this pinch... ;u;
I just ordered it:
https://imgur.com/JZSs2t4
Coincidentally, today is my birthday (january 20th c: )
FurAffinity community and my online friends always make it better *hugs*
I look forward to making more pictures for you all to enjoy.
I'll keep you posted ( u.u*) thank you again.

The drawing tablet i used for drawing, but most importantly for coloring, just broke today...it was a wacom "ArtPad II" from 1994, which i had since the 2008...
I was looking to get a new one, but the cheapest one. is nearly $5000 pesos ($42 US Dollars): https://articulo.mercadolibre.com.a.....simil-4100-_JM
I don't have that kind of money at the moment, and ironically my means of making some money on my own were through my commissions...
If anybody would like to help me out with this, i'd greatly appreciate it...my paypal address is anapancheri[at]gmail.com
I also have a buymeacoffee account now: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/OuoQ4mn
I am sorry for the delays this may cause :( if anybody would accept traditional sketches in the meantime, like pencil and paper, let me know.
The problem is, it won't stop pressing, even when i am not applying pressure to it, meaning it will drag along the stroke whether i am intending to draw a line / paint a section or not, as if you'd be dragging the mouse with the left button pressed at all times.
I had already been having this problem while working on  kame1's commission, but at times it went back to normal, and with some difficulties managed to color it successfully...but now, it is constant, it seems the tablet finally gave up.
If anybody has any ideas as to whether i could fix it aswell, let me know...i've been trying with this alluminum type paper that sometimes come in cigarette boxes, medication...(i think kitchen rolls aswell, but i did not have that) i thought that could stop the "permanent pressing", but i could not sucessfully attach it to the end of the pen, and it wouldn't work laid over the tablet. It is some kind of electronic problem, some magnetic fault of some kind....
I'm both frustrated, angry, sad, and embarrassed that it had to happen at a time like this, since i had my mind set on creating patron exclusive content this year, as well as pursuing commissions and posting my personal tails art here on furaffinity. I guess that last part i could do if you guys don't mind pencil sketches, but it's really crushed all my other plans.
I will try and save up my IRL money for the tablet in the mean time, but it'll at least take me about 5 months since i only get $1000 pesos per month...this fucking sucks ;w;' i'll keep trying tinkering with the alluminium foil tomorrow. I'm real sorry about this.

As glorious as it is--Kojima and Suda51 be damned--
I ran into a little problem. You see, i have a ps2, but it's not connected because wiring would be a mess and i'm mostly using the ps3 now, even for ps2 titles. Long story short, upong loading it i was greeted with a black screen and could not actually play the game.
So i guess i will be missing out on the glorious gaming experience that is this game (Or maybe my console was trying to protect what little's left of my brain x'D )
Which PS2 games do you recommend?I've a little list, and if they are compatible with PS3, i'd love to try 'em, these include:
Eve Of Extinction
tony hawk's underground
Berserk: Millennium Falcon
Nightshade (The sequel of sorts to ps2's Shinobi by Sega)
tony hawk project 8
Metal Gear Solid 2 (Dunno which version, if the first one..or the other one..i think the subtitle is "subsistance?"something like that?probably i would be playing the earlier one)
tony hawk pro skater 4

I know "Ico" and "Shadow Of The Colossus" have also been acclaimed?I also want to play the kingdom hearts series, but i need to play them in order, and i am currently playing the first one in short bursts, so i won't be able to play the sequels until that's done.

Any suggestions would be appreciated! (That also goes for any PS3 games you may think may be worth a check)