Well it’s that time of the year again: half off Valentine’s candy and stuffed animals, gaming all night, treating yourself to your favorite meal, laughing at the silly people that spent too much money on their “loved ones” just so they can get laid or because they know they’ll get their butts chewed out if they don’t buy those overpriced gifts, flowers, and cards to show how much they love their partners...

Yeap, y’all know what day I’m referring to: Happy Single Awareness Day! This is one of my favorite unofficial holidays. It’s a day to celebrate and be PROUD of being single and independent. Because we single folks need love too. And like myself, I know several of my watchers are single too so I thought I'd share some anti-vday cheer with everyone with some of my favorite quotes and memes I saved for just such an occasion:

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 (okay, I'm just being a smartass with the last one, LOL)

Now for those of you who just flat out hate valentines day, single or not, here's something special for you...

So why am I celebrating a day that was originally made to mock single people? Honestly? It amuses and tickles me- that and for some odd reason, it makes me happy. That, and contrary to popular belief- It is okay to be single...

...no really, is it and anyone that thinks or tells you otherwise obviously isn't happy enough with themselves to see past needing another person to fill whatever void they have in his or her life.

Being in a relationship does NOT guarantee happiness, especially if you weren't happy before getting in said relationship. Far too many people, especially furries, equate being in a relationship with being happy- pathetic. I have no shame in admitting I've been single a long time, 8 years to be exact, and as odd as it sounds? I have had less drama, been healthier, and have been a hell of a lot happier being single and having good friends in my life than when I was in a relationship or trying to pursue one.

That is not to say there's anything wrong with wanting a relationship; you just don't NEED a partner (there's a difference between wanting and needing a companion...don't make me write a long ass journal differentiating between the two concepts). No, if you want a partner and feel they'll make you happy and "complete you?" More power to you buddy- go for it! My point is, you won't be happy in a relationship if you're not happy with yourself first...

So how do I celebrate Single's Day? It usually involves me:

-wearing a nice outfit that makes me feel good about myself ✔
-treating myself to a nice piece of art ✔
-buying something nice for myself for no reason (Street Fighter 5!)
-spoiling myself to a nice dinner ✔ (Tonight's menu: Pizza! I mean...shrimp pasta and salad, with red velvet ice cream for dessert)
-leaving work early

Why? Because I can and I deserve it. That might not seem like much to some of y'all but you know what? Just knowing I have a fun, relaxing evening in store and can pamper myself makes me happy and that's all that matters.

But Whisper, does that mean you'll never date or be in a relationship again?
- One day, sure- maybe once I hit the 10 year mark of being single *chuckles* All kidding aside, if it happens, great. Just not something I'm actively looking for right now.

Do you ever get lonely?
-Occasionally. Though nowadays not so much since I like my quiet/me time. That's why I have friends, video games, and fitness to keep me distracted.

Why are you still single?
-Because I have standards, something most people seem to have forgotten the meaning of over the years. That and I have a really sharp sword, along with an even sharper tongue I use on people that tick me off.

You're a mean little wolfcat aren't you?
-Yes, thank you! Wait, that's not a compliment? Oh, that's not nice. Hmm...


...and for those of you that are still down about being single- remember, there are plenty of fish in the sea!

Haha, okay, okay that was the last picture, I promise. I really am a mean wolfcat. Happy Singles Awareness Day y'all! I'm off to...oh right, I have to work now- dang it. Okay, work then fun~

---

Now to those of you in a relationship or seeing someone right now? Any comments along the lines of “You’ll find the right guy/girl one day…” or “Being single sucks!” comments will be instantly blocked- Sorry you had your day, now let us singles enjoy ours.

Nor do I want to hear any of you single folks whining about how miserable you are or how you can't find anyone...either find something positive about being single or DO something to change why you're single- simple as that.

Edit- What...over 50 comments on one journal?! You guys are so awesome and fun to talk to! Here's to being single life and long, rambling journals~ 🍓

Dang, it is me or did this year go by REALLY fast?

Well it’s the end of another year folks. I hope everyone had a good year and if not? Well tomorrow’s a fresh start so get ready and hope for the best! I can happily and thankfully say I had a good year and am looking forward to what next year will bring.

Mind you, I still have a lot to work on and I want to improve in my life: physically, mentally, and emotionally. But that comes with time. Heck, I may even go back to school and get another degree as my supervisor has been subtly nudging me to consider nursing. But we will see huh?

Anyway, to end the year and my last journal post of the year, I thought I’d repost some humorous, somewhat painful, blunt truthful tips on “How to Know When You’re a Real Adult,” an article I found a while back but was saving for the right occasion…especially in this community full of immature goobers that rather spend their last few dollars on smut than putting it aside for a rainy day- and don’t y’all get butthurt because some of you KNOW it’s the truth! *laughs*

Honestly, there’s still a few of these points I need to work on, so don't take offense to them...and if you do, well hit that back arrow! Afterall, that's what it's for. So try to take these tips lightly and with an open mind. With that being said-

You'll Know You're on Your Way to Becoming a REAL Adult When You Accept These Truths

1. Life's tough. Get a helmet.
Relationships fail, people can be jerks, you can't always get what you want, and at some point in your life, you will have to stand outside in the pouring rain without an umbrella. Accept the fact that life isn't always easy, but draw strength from the knowledge that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, and the hard stuff makes you appreciate the good things even more.

2. If you want to play hard, you REALLY do have to work hard.
It's a trade-off, so deal with it. If it's any consolation, it's usually worth it.

3. If you f*ck up, it's your responsibility to fix it.
You're not a kid anymore, and no one is going to run behind you with a broom sweeping up your messes — nor should they. If you make a mistake, it's your obligation to rectify the mistake. As long as you're willing to admit it and embrace the consequences as yours and yours alone, then it's totally within your capabilities to make things right, too.

4. Sometimes you have to give people the benefit of the doubt.
Some people don't even always deserve it. And it's never easy to do. And sometimes you give someone the benefit of the doubt, and it ends up blowing up in your face. But the best thing ever is when you give someone a chance, reserve your judgement, and realize there's a damn good reason for the way they are. You will definitely learn something more about them in the process, and you will probably figure some stuff out about yourself too.

5. You have control over your life.
Scary, right? The control you have over what happens to you can be both liberating and utterly terrifying. Do with it what you will — but you are the puppet master of your own play, so make it interesting, make it good, and make it something you can be proud of.

6. Making compromises is a good thing. Compromising yourself is NOT.
There's a fine line between changing your mind and changing who you are. Toe it with caution, and remember that nothing is worth compromising your core beliefs, even if it may seem like it will make your life easier at the time.

7. Success is just about perception.
You (and only you) can determine what success really means, because it differs from person to person. Maybe some days success is just making it out bed, maybe other days it's parachuting out of plane. You get to decide.

8. Some people are just big assholes. [I can't even stress this point enough]
And there's nothing you can do about it, so don't try. The good news is that the world is also full of really amazing people, too. So hang on to the good ones really tightly, and forget about the rest.

9. School doesn't come close to teaching you everything you need to know.

10. Love isn't just a feeling, it's a choice you make.
The older you get, the more complicated your relationships become. It's easy to fall in love, but it isn't always easy to stay in the same place you fell. Love is a choice you make every day, to love or not to love, to try or not to try, to work at it or not to work at it.

11. You can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped.
Sometimes you are fighting a losing battle with a person, and the best thing you can is bow out of the situation. As you get older, you get better at knowing when to recognize this and at making the (difficult) choice of just letting go.

12. Money won't solve your problems. [No really, it won’t]
Money isn't magical. It can help with some of the more immediate problems, true, but you have to work through the real sh*t to be happy in life, and those things, more often than not, aren't money-related.

13. You are not the center of the universe. [looks at SEVERAL people in this community and just points to this statement again]
Your problems are real, but they are not the only problems. Everyone lives in their own worlds, but it's essential to understand and acknowledge all the other worlds around you. It helps keeps things in perspective.

14. Things are rarely as cool as they seem.
No matter how big people talk, things rarely live up to the hype. But sometimes you have to weed through the mediocre to get to the really good stuff, so never shy away from a new opportunity. Approach new experiences with the expectations of a realist, but the hopes of an idealist.

15. You can't make everybody happy.
You can't make everybody happy, so don't even try. The harder you to try to please people, the more you forget to focus on your own happiness — and your happiness matters! Be kind, be considerate, but know that not everyone is going to like what you do or say, or even who you are, and that's totally OK.

16. Sometimes you have to put yourself first.
Thinking of yourself first isn't necessarily synonymous with being selfish. Sometimes your immediate needs or wants take precedence over someone else's — and there's nothing wrong with that. The key is knowing how to recognize when and where to exercise this luxury.

17. Jealousy is a huge waste of time.
Someone is always going to have something you want, and you're always going to have something someone else wants. See the conundrum here? The grass isn't always greener, and worrying about what could be will drive you insane.

18. Change is good. Sometimes.
All change is not bad change, even if it's ridiculously hard at first. Still, don't feel bad if you hate it, because it's not always right, and change for the sake of change is not always a good enough reason to make big moves.

19. Sometimes you just don't have the answers.
You don't always know if what you're doing is right. We're all just winging it most of the time anyway, so at the very least, it should be a comfort knowing that even if you're clueless, you're not alone.

20. It's never too late to change.
Though your 20s are arguably the decade you grow and change the most, it doesn't mean that you are done becoming who you ultimately want to be when you leave them. Nobody's perfect, and we should all be open to change. If there's something you don't like, there's always time to do what you need to do to get to a place where you really love yourself.

21. You can't have it all.
You can have A LOT! You can have amazing things, you can do almost anything, and your life can be what you make it. But you can't have it ALL — no one can. So aim high, but not so high that you make yourself miserable trying to live up to unattainable expectations.

22. The only time you should look back is to see just how far you've come.
You're probably doing better than you think you are. When you see analyze things microscopically, you'll probably find a lot more wrong than if you take a step back, look at the big picture, and see all you've accomplished.

---

And to end this journal, I leave the quote below. Happy new year folks! Here’s to a new year full of (good) conspiracies, good rng in video games and MMOs, evading furry drama like the plague, and losing those last few pounds so everyone that ever shot you down or rejected you will think to themselves, “What the hell did I miss out on?!”

“Tomorrow is the first blank page of a 365 366 page book. Write a good one.”

So one of my coworkers was teaching CPI today and asked me if I would be a guinea pig to help out with something (CPI- Crisis Prevention Intervention= a class mostly taught at healthcare and behavioral health facilities on how to deal with unruly and/or psychiatric patients without hurting the patient or yourself in the process).

Now let the record show, everyone ALWAYS uses me as their personal guinea pig! Be it testing out new recipes, hairstyles, medicines, or even exercise equipment. But this time, it was something interesting. He needed someone to act as a "hostile patient" and act as if I was going to attack or try to physically harm the students. And considering I'm in shape and able to fight, I got to...you ready for this shocker? Punch my coworkers!

You heard right- something that is usually grounds for instant termination of your job, I got to fight on campus...and paid to do it! And yes, I had permission. I even told HR about it as well and one of them, "Bootcamp girl," high-fived me and scolded the instructor for not letting me kick or hit them harder- you can't make stuff like that up.

...and fyi? Bootcamp girl is the Employment Manager that can hire or fire people at any time. The irony...the sweet irony of it all.

Unfortunately, the instructor wouldn't let me hit them too hard. Nor was I allowed to kick them...something about Worker's Comp, the employees weren't trained yet to handle such "hostile" demonstrations, and them not being able to take a kick to the head or groin without proper protection...I kinda zoned out after they told me no kicking or fast punches and jabs-

*just looks innocent* What?! I was just trying to offer them real life experience dang it! I've seen some wild patients, especially if they're drunk or have altered mental status, that took some kicks, swings, and even throw people twice their size and weight...it was great! Err, I mean...how dangerous.

I'm not going to lie when I say it was awesome taking a swing at some of my coworkers- especially since most of them knew me and didn't expect to be fighting the person that makes their lives a living hell most of the time by assigning them mandatory training to do. Honestly, I'm surprised no one tried to knock me out and chalk it up as an "accident." I know I would have if the shoes were on the other foot (don't judge me, some of you would do the same thing to some of your coworkers or supervisors if you had the chance, LOL). Anyway, the training required them to be able to block my attacks and restraint me as if I'm a psychiatric or hostile patient, and of course, not hurt me or themselves in the process. At one point, the instructor had to ask me to do some slow punches so I wouldn't hurt anyone since the class was just starting out.

...

What fun is that?! I mean worse case, if I hurt someone we are in a hospital, right? *snickers* I know, I'm awful. They shouldn't have asked me to be a guinea pig if they didn't want me to help them properly train.

So how is everyone? This year has gone by way too fast- even Christmas is coming so quickly this year! It's funny, when I was a kid, it seemed like Christmas took forever to come. Then when it got here, I was so excited to be out of school and have presents to open, time went by too fast to really enjoy...well being a kid. Now that I'm older, while I still love Christmas [even if it is going to be 80 degrees on Christmas day here, blah!], it seems like the opposite problem- time leading up to Christmas goes by so fast, it's hard to take it in and enjoy the holidays! Though I'm happy to say I got all my shopping and gifts done in a timely manner.

I'll be posting Christmas art and gifts next week so excuse my inactivity in the meantime; I'll be spamming everyone's inboxes next week I'm sure.

Otherwise I'm doing great! I FINALLY met my fitness goal and lost 60lbs, and am now working towards making that a 65lb loss, and eventually 70lbs. How much do I plan to lose before I stop? Not sure! I enjoy working out, being healthy, not to mention wearing small clothes again; I'm nearly a size 8 clothes wise, and I have never been that small before! However, I also love eating (screw starving yourself to lose weight!) so I'm going to work out as long as I'm able to and feel like it. Worse case, I'll become so sexy and toned from working out, my self-esteem will go up a few levels- how awful would that be? Next year my fitness goals include: starting a new fitness regime, see if I can run 5 miles (my current best is 4 miles in roughly 50-55 minutes), and find some sparring buddies that aren't scared to fight against me-

...well 2 out of 3 of those goals seem realistic, lol.

Anyway, back to work I go! Have a good one~

Yes, it’s a real holiday thanks to the Chinese. I honestly thought it was a joke at first when I got a newsletter from Newegg saying “Singles Day Sale” until I did a bit of research-

The holiday was originally meant to be a day set aside for single people to spoil themselves and ENJOY the fact that they’re single. Oddly enough, singles day was started by some single college students, “Students at Nanjing University started Singles’ Day in 1993 as a way to celebrate being single, largely by buying themselves presents.”

Singles day always falls on November 11- the date is four single 1s- 11.11, or as they call it in China, “bare sticks,” which represents you being unattached. Basically, it's meant for you to celebrate being single rather than holding a self-deprecating or negative attitude about how horrible it is being single like society tries to push down anyone’s throat that isn’t in a relationship-

…I’m starting to think I was born in the wrong country dang it.

Nowadays, singles day has become a corporate holiday where businesses target…you guessed it, singles, and offer them huge discounts- at least overseas; it’s basically their version of Black Friday. Unfortunately, the trend really isn’t as renowned in the states, shame.

Now I’ll admit sometimes I get irked seeing people qq about being single or how lonely they are…don’t like it? Do something about it! Or better still, be thankfully for the things you can do while you’re single. For example, my boss comes in my office every other day telling me the “joys” of being married to his loving wife [actually it’s kinda funny to listen to some of his stories, lol]. And with each story, he tells me how lucky I am to be single, being able to play video games without someone nagging at me or telling me I game too much. Or being able to eat and buy what I want, save up money without worrying about kids or a spouse, and most importantly, he tells me how I shouldn’t take being single for granted.

Here’s a quote I think is appropriate for such an occasion…or anyday really, “Not everyone who is single is lonely. Not everyone who is taken or married, is in love…”

Anyway, random journal is random but seeing this holiday put me in an oddly good mood! I guess it’s nice to see people finding the perks to being single rather than the downsides. I mean yeah, technically there’s singles awareness day (SAD) people celebrate…or grumble about, in retaliation to valentine’s day, but most people refuse to even celebrate SAD since it’s seen as more of a mockery to being single, lol. Me? Hell, I don’t need a holiday to celebrate or spoil myself- I’m working on being happy with myself every day of the year and that’s what matters.

Now if y’all will excuse me, I’m going to celebrate singles days in my own special manner: I’m going to try and browse for a new monitor for my pc since all these sales are going on online. Followed by a night of raiding with friends, and heck, I might even order myself a pizza just because I can!

_{(No, I have not forgotten it's Veteran's Day as well- which is obviously an important holiday as well. This wolfcat reserves the right to be proud and happy of being single- regardless of what day of the year it is).}

Well it only took 5-6 months, lots of patience, along some bargain shopping, but my new pc, Beast, is finally done!

...yes, it's name is Beast. I know I called the old one a beast as well but it's official name was actually "Conspiracy."

Here is a picture of my old pc just for those that are curious as to why I upgraded to a new pc

...I know, the inside is filthy! Don't judge me, lol.

And the new one here. And no, the cover is not off the side; it actually has a plastic screen (it was really hard taking a picture of this thing without my reflection showing!)

Definitely happy I got this pc finished...even if I grumbled, complained, and whined through the process. Though I'm happy to say 90 percent of the parts I got on sale from newegg so I did dang good money wise.

Also, I want to give a BIG thanks to the people that helped me build this beast from hell:

The person that inspired me to build it:

Friends that listened to me gripe and moan helped me pick out the right parts and offered IT support before, during, and after the process (in no particular order):  Felidire,  FeuerfuchsKA8,  Tiido,  mustang,  justicekyo

...and the person that built my pc- my boss!

Not many bosses would offer to help you build your pc while you're at work and spend almost all day doing so. Actually, I got to help put it together. Since this is my first pc I've ever built, I asked if I could watch and assist him so I would have some idea what parts went where and I could try to build my next pc myself...or at least without being so dependent on others for help. Unfortunately, all of my pc savvy friends live out of state, so it's not like I can just call them up for help everytime something goes wrong with my pc.

Overall, building it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be but definitely took a bit of patience. I'd say the worse part was installing the heat sink...my poor boss cut two fingers trying to put it in, along with putting all the cables into the motherboard.

Other stuff...

How are you liking the new pc? Well I figured the best way to test it was to try out some of my high end games on steam and WoW this past weekend. The graphics...are wonderful. Not to mention I don't lag on certain boss fights like I used to.

Are you are going to add or upgrade your pc anymore? Later on I do have plans to get-

-keyboard: the current one is from my HP desktop (about 6 years old). It's so old, the letters on the keys have been typed off- thank goodness I know how to type or I'd be screwed.
-dual monitors: will happen when I get more desk space or as my boss suggested, mount them
-speakers: same issue as the keyboard; they've been recycled from my old HP computer. They work but the quality could be better.

Otherwise, I have no plans to do any internal upgrades. Not for a long, long, LONG time. I'm too cheap to buy pc parts very often.

So what did you do with your old pc? Good question. It's currently sitting in my living room until I decide what to do with it. Honestly, the mobo, video card, and ram aren't bad; just getting too old for some of the newer games coming out. Not to mention, it's hard finding DDR2 ram anymore so it was time to upgrade the motherboard and memory if nothing else. My boss suggested I turn use the pc for watching movies, or even turn it into a surveillance system.

Anyway, geeky journal is geeky! So what else is going with me?

Nothing much. Just resting, gaming, and trying to stay out of trouble. I also have a bunch of commissions I need to upload to my gallery but...yeah, I'm lazy so hopefully I'll get to them sooner than later

On a very positive note, as of today I'm down a total of 59lbs! *fistpumps* I'm only one pound away from my goal of losing 60lbs! Then...I'm gonna lose even MORE weight! Well, not too much but enough to where I feel more confident in my looks and body.

Oddly enough, I haven't worked out for 3 days prior to this morning, and pigged out on sweets and goodies Friday from a festival we had at work. Yet I lost weight. So wait a minute: when I watch what I eat and arduously work out, I gain weight or the scale goes up. Yet when I relax and don't micromanage my food intake, I LOSE weight?

...

I really hate my body sometimes. It's a conspiracy; it truly is *eats a protein bar and sighs*

Hope everyone is doing well- have a good one!

Had something interesting happen to me at work yesterday afternoon and I thought I would share it with y’all since it’s not a rant (for once):

I was on my last break for the day and decided to take a walk outside to get some fresh air and see how the weather was since I had been cooped up inside my office all day. As I was taking my final loop around the hospital before heading back in, I see what looks like a purse in the middle of the Outpatient Clinic parking lot. But I think to myself, “No, it can’t be...” But as I got closer to it, sure enough, there’s a little, black handbag just lying in the middle in the parking lot. And it was in plain view. And by plain view, I mean if you’re walking out the door of the clinic, you can’t help but see it. Not to mention, I saw two people sitting on the benches in front of the clinic with a clear view of it. And I’m sure people going in and out of the door could have seen it as well, depending on how long it was out there; with it being close to shift change, there were a few people coming and going in the area.

Is it bad that my first thought was, "This is either a practical joke, a test, or a bomb someone's left out here knowing someone would pick up a purse out of curiosity..."

Then I realized the purse was probably empty or someone already took its contents out, otherwise someone would have picked it up and taken it in by now. Not to be presumptuous, but my job is not exactly in the safest area: our facility that offers healthcare to those that are poor or on a fixed income so we get several destitute patients. In addition, there being two detention centers right by my job, and there’s a prison built into the hospital as well...and people wonder why I'm always on guard or practicing my punching? Yeah.

So I open the purse up, hoping there’s at least an id or name so the person can be contacted: it’s full of money, credit cards, and (thankfully) two identification cards.

…then I do a double take and look at that money again.

It is wrong that for a split second I wanted to keep money for myself? Not the credit cards…just the money (darn my parents for raising me to be honest and responsible, haha). Kidding aside, I picked up the purse and decided to turn it into the police. So I texted my boss, told him what happened, and took the purse to the police/security on campus. When I got back to my office, my boss said he was proud of me and I’m definitely due for some good karma…

…you hear that rng in WoW? My fury warrior needs to some new gear- can I please get some good karma my way just this once? LOL. But yeah I felt…good for doing that, like really good.

But my question is this: does being a Good Samaritan pay off? I’m sure we’ve all heard the old saying, “Nice guys finish last….” or, “Being nice only gets you hurt…” If I had not found that purse, would someone else have turned it in…or would they have just taken it, the money, and gone their merry way- not caring if that was someone’s grocery money or money to pay off a bill? I would like to think there is some benefit to being nice, even if it’s not always apparent at the time.

Anyway, random journal is journal. What else is going on with me-

•How goes the computer- are you done building it yet?
Since I have had several people ask me about my computer lately, I figured why not address it real fast. Yes, I’m getting ready to build my first gaming rig- I’m only missing a few core parts: the HDD, a new case, and cpu fan. And then me and my boss will work on it. The main holdup right now is that I’m VERY picky about what kind of case I want…and I'm a bit cheap (okay very cheap) so finding a case that’s reasonably priced, not cheaply made, and aesthetically appealing is an issue for me. My boss jokingly told me if I don’t hurry up and build this pc, the parts I’ve already purchased will be obsolete by the time we build it…smartass, lol. So I’m going to try and make a final decision on the case soon. Estimated completion date: October/early November 2015.

•Still working out/losing weight?
Yeap! Unfortunately, my weight’s been going up and down due to gaining muscle, my body being stubborn, and me just liking to eat junk because I’m hardheaded, lol. I’m still at roughly 55-56lbs lost (it fluctuates but that’s about average), however; my BMI is now at a healthy level, I have more energy than I’ve had in years, on a good day, I can run 4-4.5 miles, and I’m slowly starting to see some definition on my thighs and calves. My goal is to keep going until I lose 60 pounds…at which point I’ll decide if I want to keep going or just work on building tone and muscle. However, my dietitian told me that for my height and age, I am technically at my ideal weight and if I want to lose the rest, I'll have to really push my body past its comfort zone to get rid of these last few pounds.

My current exercise regime includes: running and interval training, using a 20lb kettlebell (love kettlebell swings!), and hopefully will have my punching bag up shortly so I can focus on my punching and kickboxing more.

•How’s work?
It’s work…ish? It helps that my boss is a gamer, likes pcs, and he has a “no stress” policy so he comes in my office once or twice a day just to procrastinate from his own work or try and stay awake say hi, and even ask how my raids and gaming are going...nice huh? So minus the occasional idiot, dumb questions or phones calls, and impatient twit that comes through, I really can’t complain. Plus, I like what I do for the most part so…*shrugs*

•Anything interesting going on in your life right now?
Nope! Quiet wolfcat is quiet and I kind of like it that way; keeps me out of trouble. Most days I’m either raiding, watching anime or television, looking for new workout videos and exercises, or recuperating from work. While that routine sounds boring to most people, it’s stability and peaceful to me.

Society, just once I wish you would prove me wrong-

Yes, this journal is another rant. Yes, I rant alot. Yes, people tick me off ALOT. I’m pretty sure that’s becoming a common theme from my journals. But believe it or not, I’m actually a nice person (if you catch me on a good day). Ignorant, dumbass, superficial people just have a knack of bringing my bad side out- which nowadays seems to be the norm, especially on the internet. Which brings me to my rant-

Earlier today, one of my friends messaged me after putting a new picture of himself on a dating and social furry site (name of the site withheld but I’m sure most of my friends already know which one I’m referring to…yeah that hellhole). And I guess as an experiment, here’s what happens after putting a picture of himself online showing off his abs he’s been working on-

“So I put my unflattering, shit-quality photo of hairless abs onto 'the site'... and guess what happened? 5 women message me in under 24 hours, lmfao! So much for men being outstandingly shallow, huh? XD”

What the reader is probably thinking: “A bunch of women messaged him because they’re interested in him and he’s complaining? What’s his problem?! Better still, what’s his secret so I can get someone to talk to me?”

What I was thinking: “I’ve been working out for almost two years and I still don’t have any abs dang it…*jealous*”

I know that’s what most of you are thinking, but that’s not the issue. What’s so bad is the issue as quoted by him, “That ad has been more or less the same for 5 or whatever years, so you can bet the only thing any of them cared about was the photo…People are so superficial it's saddening, lol.”

*points to the above and shakes my head* Right there folks is the problem. It took him putting up a picture of his six pack to get attention. Yet the rest of his profile, which has been the same for years, hasn’t hardly gotten him any replies. So basically what that tells me is the only reason he got any replies was because of his looks, or body rather. Because those same women would have probably ignored him had he just had his profile with a “normal” picture of his face or him covered up, or no picture at all. So where are all those people that claim they want someone with a “good personality, intelligence, or understands them and their needs…” Hmm? I guess they’re hiding behind all the twits drooling over those six packs! LOL.

Let’s face it, we’re all superficial to a degree- it’s safe to assume that. But if that’s the only thing you’re looking at in a relationship, dating, or even friendship? Then you will be screwed later in life because guess what? Eventually everyone ages! And those abs, biceps, butt, and everything else will start to sag, wrinkle, and fade- then what? That person you were so physically enamored by has nothing left to offer you because you didn’t take the time to get to know them on any other level *snorts* People are so fixated on finding someone with an Adonis-like body, they don’t look at the here and now- or rather who is right in front of them, and could make them happy.

Now I’m going to be blunt here and I will probably offend a lot of people but so be it. Realistically, how many people out there, particularly in the furry community are:

• In shape- and I don’t just mean aesthetically. I mean someone that knows how to take care of their bodies, works out, and eats right.
• Have good health: mentally, physically, and emotionally
• Are intelligent- not just book sense but common sense too
• Have a job and can support themselves
• Have their lives in order
• Knows how plan ahead
• Have little to no drama (well…that knocks out most of the fandom right there)

I’m not saying it’s impossible to find someone that meets all of the above- believe it or not, people like that DO exist, furry and nonfurry. But…it’s pretty damn difficult. So rather than weed through the masses or patiently wait, most people “settle” with someone that has most of what they’re looking for: be it looks, financial security, or the classic- said person is there, available, and wants to be with them. Basically it’s convenient for both parties involved and a bit of desperation…

So what’s the moral of that little rant? People are superficial and are more likely to date someone based on looks alone rather than personality or getting to know the person beforehand. But I guess I really didn’t need to write a long ass journal to say that; most of you already knew that. In addition…ladies? Shame on you for being as bad as the men I’ve lashed out at in my journals! I’m hanging my head in shame over here.

…and yes, in case you didn’t notice for once I’m picking on women, not men! That’s right guys, women are just as superficial, judgmental, and ignorant as a men. Wow, who would have thought that was possible? /sarcasm

I know I slam men a lot…*blinks* Okay, okay, 95 percent of my journals are about how much men are the primary issue when it comes to dating and relationships. But I have no shame in admitting women can be just as bad, especially furry ones. Trust me, I can dedicate an entire journal on how flaky and ignorant women can be (most not all women- to you exceptions out there: thank you for not falling into the typical stereotypes and standards) but that’s for another day…believe me, it will come soon enough. Until later…

*dusts off my journal because it’s been so long since I posted anything*

---

You know, it’s funny. Just last week,  Mustang asked me when am I going to post another journal. And I told him I would as soon as I find something or someone to rant or go off on.

...I need to learn to just keep my mouth shut, lol. I was reading an article this morning and sure enough, I found something that got me grumpy: dating and how superficial people are. Anyone that’s been watching me awhile knows I’ve covered this topic ALOT. Now I’m sorry but you regulars know how much that topic gets me riled up.

And for those of you already in relationships or have someone that likes you for you: kudos. I wish we could all be as lucky. But let’s face it: for most of us dating is not fun, tough, and downright depressing at times- which is why I don’t even bother anymore: I'm more focused on my job, friends, gaming, fitness, and most importantly, trying to be happy with myself and self-esteem.

So then why am I discussing it? Because it’s just one of my huge pet peeves and unlike most women, this particular woman in this article has a backbone and to me, is an awesome example of how a person should deal with rejection.

Here’s the article I was reading for those of you that actually like to read.

Now for the rest of you lazy furs, I’ll paraphrase the article as best I can: basically a woman went out with a guy she met on Tinder…never used the site myself but heard enough about it to avoid it like the plague. Anyway, the woman met up with the man on a first date and they got along great. That is until the next day when she got a “pleasant” message from him:

“Thanks for a wonderful evening last night. I really enjoyed your company and actually adore you. You're cheeky and funny and just the sort of girl I would love to go out with if only my body and mind would let me. But I fear it won't.

I'm not going to bullsh*t you . . . I f*cking adore you and I think you're the prettiest looking girl I've ever met. But my mind gets turned on by someone slimmer.

Shallow? It's not meant to be. It's the same reaction you get when you read a great author or see an amazing image, or listen to a piece of music you love, it has that instant reaction in you that makes you crave more.
So whilst I am hugely turned on by your mind, your face, your personality (and God . . . I really, really am), I can't say the same about your figure. So I can sit there and flirt and have the most incredibly fun evening, but I have this awful feeling that when we got undressed my body would let me down. I don't want that to happen baby. I don't want to be lying there next to you, and you asking me why I'm not hard.

. . . I would marry you like a shot if you were a slip of a girl because what you have in that mind of yours is utterly unique, and I really really love it.”

I’m just gonna stop right there before I find out that twit’s address and go kick his butt on her behalf. So…haha, the bastard basically admits that while he loves her personality, mind, and thinks she’s attractive and would love to marry a girl LIKE her. But he’s not turned on by her because she’s not skinny enough for him. And you want to know the bad thing? She’s only overweight by 20 lbs- and she’s already lost 15.

…*looks at said woman’s picture and shakes my head* Okay, if men consider her overweight then I must be a pig! LOL. What the hell is wrong with society nowadays?! I’d say “What’s wrong with men…” but yes, I know, women are just as bad as men: I’m mature enough to admit that. But let me discuss this from a woman’s perspective from a moment. Nowadays, it seems like women have to be a size 8 or smaller to be attractive. Dear gah, it’s crap like that that makes my blood boil and further pushes me away from the dating scene. Even if you have an athletic build like Ronda Romsey or Venus Williams…they get shamed by men all the time- why? For being in shape but having “built, toned, muscular” bodies from working out and exercising so much and not having “dainty” figures that you can break in half or look like they haven’t eaten in days.

And don’t tell me men suffer as bad as women: oh no. Not with all the art on here dissuading that little argument. All the time, I see art of male furs gaining weight on purpose or heavyset guys that get positive attention and hit on for how they look. Whereas, if you’re an overweight female- online or in real life? You get looked down on. For example, if a female posts “fat art,” or hell, even a real life picture, people are instantly grossed out, tell her she needs to lose weight, or does not think it’s attractive. Or worse- if you suddenly lose weight, everyone says how fat you used to be and how good you look now: I can attest to that. Ever since I’ve lost weight, people at work tell me all the time how big I used to be and how good I look now. Yeah…if I was so fat back then, why did they wait to tell me that AFTER I lose weight?! Maybe, just maybe, if I had a nudge years ago, I could have started working out before I got so "fat" and had to work it off. Hmph.

Double standards: got to love them huh? Yes, I know there are exceptions- guys can be shamed for being overweight and there are men out there that like heavier women, but you get where I’m going with my rambling. Anyway, back to the article-

So after the guy tells her that she’s not skinny enough for him, she replies back- and again, paraphrasing for the lazy:

“You don't have to fancy me. We all have a good friend who we look at ruefully and think "you're lovely, but you just don't tickle my pickle". We wish we were attracted to them, but our bodies and our brains don't work like that. And that's fine.

What isn't fine is the fact that, after a few hours in my company, you took the time to write this utterly uncalled-for message. It's nothing short of sadistic. Your tone is saccharine and condescending, but the forensic detail in which you express your disgust at my body is truly grotesque. The only possible objective for writing it is to wound me.

And I'm ashamed to say, for a few moments, it worked. You stirred a dormant fear that every woman who was ever a teenage girl has — that it doesn't matter how funny you are, how clever, how kind, how passionate, how loyal, how determined or adventurous or vibrant — if you're a stone overweight, no one will ever find you desirable.

I like the way I look…You may think all my profile pictures are "FGASs" (That's "Fat Girl Angle Shots" — pictures from angles that slim and flatter the girl. Because men only ever use candid, brutally-lit, unfiltered pics). But I think they're a fair representation. And I'm pretty upfront about who I am: I describe myself as a woman who loves pizza…I like to think I come across as a confident, happy woman. But could this be the very reason you have targeted me? Did you see me and think "She has far too high an opinion of herself, she needs bringing down a peg or two"? I have to ask — we all know the internet is a dangerous place to be a woman with opinions (I discovered this first hand when I ventured a response to those obnoxious bloody adverts).

I already KNOW that I'm overweight. I can tell you exactly how overweight I am — 20 pounds. I've already lost 15, and I've a stone and a half to go. I'm happy with that. I will get rid of it, safely and healthily. Does that mean that I can't love and enjoy my body now? F*ck no.

I'll never see or hear from you again (you may feel the need to respond to this blog. Please don't. There's nothing you can say that will make me think that you're not a disgrace to your gender).”

My heroine- thank you for putting idiots like him in his place. Not to divulge too deeply into my personal life but I can empathize with her to an extent: when I was younger, I was shot down by a guy that loved my looks, personality, and everything else about me; basically he liked me but flat out refused to date me. Only for him to come back to me years later gushing because he was about to get married, his message to me along the lines of, “You’d love her! She’s just like you…”

…so he wouldn’t date me but he’d date and marry someone JUST LIKE ME? Needless to say, I never spoke to him again. Now that I’m older and wiser, I can laugh about that now because I know I deserve so much better than a guy like that in my life.

And the woman in this article also made me realize something important. Especially as I continue on my fight to lose weight, no matter how in shape or fit you are, there will always be others that don’t approve or like how you look: it’s just how you can’t please everyone. You can be the nicest person in the world…but there will always be one person that doesn’t like you for whatever reason. All you can do is shrug it off and move on until you find friends or someone else worthy of your attention.

And geez, long journal is long! Ah well, I haven’t rambled in three months; it’ll be okay. Have a good one…

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Edit: Really? I go three months without an update or journal and I come back to all these comments...I guess I better stop being so lazy and write more? No promises though

…when people put selfies up only to say how ugly, fat, unattractive, or bad they look. It seems like everytime I see someone’s picture online: be it on here, facebook, or some other social site, they say how awful they look…yet they clearly look as if they were trying to pose, did their hair, or dressed up for the camera (…). “Yes, I look so horrible yet I’m holding my phone up to the mirror and posing so I can look sexy for people to tell me otherwise!” *rolls eyes* Ugh…

To me, an awful picture is one in which you were NOT prepared for or knew about and as such, it caught your bad side or you were not dressed how you would like. That is a bad picture- and even some of them aren’t that awful; sometimes being yourself on film brings out the best pictures and don’t seem so fake, especially smiles. Something about a forced or fake smile just…bothers me for some reason.

And for those people that post up selfies and whine about how bad they look…seriously, if you think you look so bad, why the hell did you put up a picture in the first place?! Are you that starved for attention or reassurance from random people you’ve never met…and probably will never meet, or people that don’t know you just to feel better about yourself or your body? And if you really think your picture looks that bad, why not take another one or wait until you feel or look better (or does that make too much sense?)

Sorry for the random rant but damn, I felt it had to be said as it seems to be a common trend. It seems like whenever I browse through submissions on here and see someone's real life picture up, they complain about their looks or how the picture looks for whatever reason. I really hate when I see people saying that about themselves in selfies, it’s like they’re hoping someone will say otherwise. And if don’t like how you look- don’t post a picture online for others to judge you…simple as that. Hell, people are superficial and judgmental enough as is without adding to the drama...

Anyway…hi! How is everyone today? And hello to all you new watchers- and yeah I rant a lot, just a fair warning; my friends seem to be used to my ramblings now and actually encourage them as odd as that sounds, lol. So what’s going on with me lately? Nothing much. I’m more or less engrossed in fitness and gaming right now (yeah, those two things don’t sound like they do together do they?) With my birthday coming up in less than two months, I made a resolution to myself: I want to reach a 60lb weight loss by my birthday.

…I’m currently at 54lbs down; that leaves me with six pounds to go *takes a deep breath and flexes* I am so pumped and ready for the challenge! The only problem is lately I’ve been gaining weight (everyone swears it’s muscle though I think the scale and my body are just conspiring against me) so I’m basically going to have to cut some of my carbs out to balance out my muscle and weight loss. But I’m excited; I’d love to celebrate my 30th birthday with such a milestone!

Anyway, back to work I go...

Well…we made it to Friday folks! Geez, I can’t believe it’s been two months since I put up a journal. I hope everyone is doing okay and having little to no drama in your life (Yeah I know: furries not having drama? Funny). Anyway, thought I’d end the week with an informative yet fun journal.

Yesterday, I read an article about strong, independent females and the issues they face in society, especially when it comes to dating, relationships, or just making new friends or social connections. While this article was geared towards dating, I think it applies to ALL relationships: friendships, coworkers, or anyone you interact with on a day to day basis. And while some of these statements are meant to be funny, for the most part, they pretty much describe the type of people I prefer to be around or spend time with…so keep that in mind those of you that are want to get to know me better or are so “intimidated” of me you’re afraid to even say hello:

1. Don't expect any fluff from her.
You're going to have to stop dancing around issues and start being straight with her, because that's how she's going to be with you. If there is an issue or something bothering her, you're going to know about it. She is a problem-solver and she wants you to be, too.

If you want something sugarcoated, you should probably go get yourself a cupcake, cupcake.

2. Don't expect to carry on any type of relationship solely through text messages.
Women like this are efficient communicators and the nuances of texting aren't going to cut it. Sure, some texts throughout the day to keep in touch will work just fine, but your primary mode of communication will be over the phone or face-to-face (as it should be).

3. Don't expect her to be impressed by your antics.
Leave your "social proof" antics at the door. Any juvenile attempt to make her jealous by talking about or posting photos with other women will backfire. Strong women do not get jealous because they are secure enough in themselves to know what (and who) is worth their time, or what/who isn't. If she is going to fully commit to you, she expects the same in return -- no games here.

4. Don't expect to have mindless conversations. [I can't even emphasize this point enough]
Strong, mature women are worldly, passionate and educated. They are willing to have real conversations about real issues, and while there might be World of Warcraft playing in the background, her mind is still going a mile a minute about things that really matter. If you want her attention, you are going to have to keep up.

5. Don't expect being indecisive to fly.
She probably has a stressful job that requires her to spend the day making decisions or dealing with other people's nonsense (THIS…so much!) If you are looking for evenings full of "I don't know…” exchanges, then you are barking up the wrong tree. She wants you to be capable of making decisions and take the initiative.

6. Don't expect her to put up with disrespect.
No woman should. Today's women are bold, confident and know what they want. What they don't want is to be around someone who is going to mistreat or disrespect them.

7. DO NOT expect being flaky to be okay.
If you say you are going to do something, whether it involves her or not, you're going to be held accountable.

And THAT is one of the number one reasons my tolerance for people is slim; being flaky is something I will NOT put up with, from males or females.

8. Do expect to be consistently motivated.
Having a strong woman is like strapping a jetpack to your back. She lives her life with purpose, with goals, and with a vision. If she’s chosen to befriend or spend time with you, her ambitious nature will rub off on you, if you aren't like that already. You will have a lifelong teammate by your side…a confidant.

9. Do expect her to fully commit to you.
Strong women are loyal. They expect honesty and commitment from you, but they are more than willing to return it with the same fierce passion they apply to every other aspect of their lives. You will not find a more trustworthy woman than a strong, independent one.

Why? Because she chooses what she wants out of life and she holds on to it when she gets it. When she wants something, she will give it her everything.

10. Do expect to have new experiences.
She has lived her life with passion and excitement. Along this journey she developed hobbies, interests and has had unique experiences. Furthermore, she has built a list of things she wants to do in the future -- and she wants to share them with those she cares about.

11. Do expect to look forward to every day.
When you are with a strong woman, there is no such thing as being bored [that's subject to debate, lol]. She is always on the go, and while she does enjoy relaxing on the couch, she can just as easily suggest an impromptu weekend away in the mountains. And, even if you plan it out, expect her to add her own personal flair.


Tl;dr: You will never be happier than when you are with a strong woman, because she lives her life with a burning desire to make the best of it. She will motivate you to become the best possible version of yourself…do not shy away from strong women, and do not be intimidated by their passion for life.

As of today, I finally did it.

After a year and some months of running, cutting back on ice cream and junk food, and consistently flipping off this evil scale for conspiring against me, I did it: I’m down 50lbs!!! That may not seem like a lot to some of y’all but believe me, I’m proud of myself for losing that excess weight and getting my BMI down into a healthy range (body mass index). Mind you, I still want to lose a little more weight and some inches before I completely stop losing weight but just hitting that mark is all the motivation I need to keep going and maintain my hard work.

“So how did you lose all that weight?” Started off walking, then progressed to jogging, and now I run and climb 20-40% inclines on my treadmill 3-5 days a week, 15-30 minutes (sometimes longer, depends on my mood). I also alternate the trails and workout so I don’t get burned out or bored. I occasionally do kickboxing and T25 as well, cooling down with squats, lunges, jump roping, crunches, and pushups (ugh, hate pushups). On weekends, I try to go jogging and running outside, weather permitting. I also do light weightlifting 2-3 days a week. As for food? I’m still eating the same things I always have: I just eat less of it and watch my fat intake.

What I did NOT do to lose weight: no fad diets or diet pills, starving myself, counting every little calorie or gram of fat I consumed, or giving up my favorite foods

Tl;dr- increase physical activity and decrease food portions= fit wolfcat

“What made you want to lose weight?” I’ll be blunt: I wasn’t happy with the way I looked and felt and decided to do something about it. I already have crappy self esteem about how I look; now add being fat to that: yeah, sucks for my little morale. That and my family’s medical history isn’t exactly stellar (high blood pressure, cholesterol, etc) so I wanted to nip any contributing factors that could hurt me down the road. I also want to point out that I did NOT lose weight to impress anyone (other than myself but that’s okay~). I’ve seen and read stories of people losing weight just to get a girl/guy and guess what? That will not make you happy in the long run. However, I’ve ranted about that issue in the past so I won’t go there.

“What’s your goal now that you’ve lost weight…?” Lose MORE weight!

But seriously, I don’t know. Probably just keep working out and maintain my shape. As I told one of my friends, the hardest part is now maintaining it. One of my coworkers invited me to attend bootcamp with her next month and I think I’m going to take her up on it. For 21 days, 5 days a week, 30 minutes a day, I’ll be sore as hell and not able to move an inch! But at the end it preps your body for the summer months so you can show off your hard work (hello shorts and tank tops). Otherwise, the only goals I have in mind are:

• Lose 10-15 more pounds
• Run a marathon. Planning on starting with a 3K and going from there
• Run 4-5 miles nonstop (current longest mileage run without stopping: 3.2)
• Get a replacement punching bag so I can have something to hit…err, I mean practice kicking and boxing with
• Work on toning my legs, abs, and arms (in progress)
• Learn how to use kettlebells and resistance bands and integrate them into my workout regime
• Do more than 5 one, handed pushups

“Are you going to show us what you look like?” Hell no. Silly furries, fa is for furry art, not humans! *laughs* I prefer keeping my furry and real life separate.

Anyway, that’s all that’s going on down here. Otherwise, I’ve been enjoying the snow- a fun break from work and responsibilities for a few days, and keeping busy as much as possible. On that note, I’m off to learn how to stick a needle that's the size of a phillips screwdriver through human bone!

…yes, it’s as painful as it sounds but so much fun to watch- unless you’re squeamish in which case, I wouldn’t recommend it. Later~

Well it’s that time of the year again: half off Valentine’s Day candy and stuffed animals, gaming all day, treating yourself to your favorite meal, laughing at the silly people that are out running around spending money on their “loved ones” because they know they’ll get their butts chewed out if they don’t buy those overpriced gifts, flowers, and cards.

Yeap, y’all know what day I’m referring to: Happy SAD folks! This is one of my favorite unofficial holidays. It’s a day to celebrate and be PROUD of being single and independent. Because we single folks need love too. Technically it’s Sunday (Feb 15) but I rarely post anything on here on the weekends so I thought I’d post this journal a few days early.

Now I know what some of you are thinking, “Why would you be happy about being single?! Especially in today’s society that seems to ostracize people that aren’t paired up and humping like animals…” or the classic, “But I need someone in my life to make me complete/happy/understand me…”

Simple- Contrary to what the media, society, even your friends and family try to push onto us, you don’t have to be in a relationship to be happy. End of story. Anyone who thinks otherwise needs to reevaluate their life and priorities because guess what? Being in a relationship does NOT guarantee your life will instantly become better or make you happier-

…no, it really doesn’t. Please disregard all the fa journals, facebook posts, and tweets that say otherwise. They are a lie, just like the cake.

And then you have the people that say “Why not just treat vday and/or SAD like any other day? ”

…and to y’all I say that’s very true! You shouldn’t need a specify day of the year to say you care about someone else even or yourself - let’s face it, valentine’s day is basically a capitalist trap. And those that are single are left feeling…well for a lack of better words, crappy, and feeling like no one cares about them just because they’re not in a relationship. In a perfect world, people would tell and show you how they feel about you all the time and not rely on a few days a year (vday, Christmas, your bday, etc) to do something nice for you.

But we all know how fair life is…don’t we? So rather than crying about how life isn’t fair or doing brooding about, how about doing something nice for yourself or spending time with people that care about you- friends, family, even your pets! I don't know about y'all but this weekend I'm pampering myself and going to relax. Why? Because I deserve it~

And on that note, here are some funny (and true) responses you can tell those nosy coworkers, family, or anyone that’s getting on your nerve when they ask why you’re still single:

'Why Are You Still Single?'
• ”Just lucky, I suppose.”
• ”I’ve been busy cultivating a rewarding and fulfilling career.”
• ”Single? Actually I think of it as ’Keeping my options open.’”
• ”It was either this or a toxic relationship with my ex. I’d say this is a definite step in the right direction.”
• ”Good guy, bad timing; bad guy, good timing… Whatcha gonna do?”

And my personal favorite:
• "I’m in a long-term relationship with independence, and we’re very happy together.”
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Now to those of you in a relationship or seeing someone right now? Any comments along the lines of “You’ll find the right guy/girl one day…” or “Being single sucks!” comments will be instantly blocked- Sorry you have your day, now let us singles enjoy ours. Nor do I want to hear any of you single folks whining about how miserable you are about being alone or how you can't find anyone...either find something positive about being single or DO something to change why you're single- simple as that.

On a sidenote, today's Friday the 13th isn't it? Hope everyone's having a good day so far~

...I really miss working in the ER.

Good evening everyone! And yes, I'm still alive and kicking. I was not planning to post a journal until the new year, but after hearing an interesting story at work, I figured why not share it and use this chance to update everyone on what's going on with me as well. But back to why I'm posting this journal- and as a warning, if you have or like kids, you might not like reading this little story:

So earlier today, I heard the operators call for some of the head nurses to go down to the ER to help- no big deal right? Probably just a critical care patient or they were short and needed help. However, a few minutes later, the operator then called for the hospital chaplain and hospital security

...okay, that's not a good sign. It wasn't until this afternoon that I found out what happened- apparently a 24 year old mother came into the ER with a 2 year old that had been horribly beaten and bruised. Like...it was pretty much DOA (dead on arrival) when it came in. And, here's the sad part, one of the nurses was telling me how she was trying to give CPR to a baby. Not sure how many of you out there are CPR certified or familiar with it but you're basically giving chest compressions to a person in hopes of shocking life back into his/her heart. So here's this little body, and she's trying to beat on its chest: it was a moot point.

And to make matters worse? While all that was going on,the woman left one of her kids in the car by itself...and it was a baby as well *facepalms* And she had six children total [note how I said "had," needless to say, she won't have any after that situation, haha].

Now make no mistake- I hate kids, refuse to ever have any, and I will tell that to anyone that asks me that. However! I am completely against child abuse...or any abuse for that matter. So when I hear that dumbasses like her are even allowed to reproduce and then hurt innocent little rugrats that didn't even ask to be brought into this world? *shakes head* It's people like her that DO NOT need children, yet are the main ones that keep popping them out! And while I feel sorry for the deceased kid and its siblings? It makes me wonder why the hell the mother just didn't give up the children for adoption or...here's a thought- keep her damn legs closed and she wouldn't have had any in the first place! People like her make me sick- not so much the fact that she is an abusive wench, but she had children and raised them in a hostile environment. And don't say she was stressed or overwhelmed- NO, there are all kinds of programs and help out there nowadays to help parents in situations like that.

So why do I miss the ER after something like that happened? As odd as it sounds, I...hmm, I have to word this carefully so as not to offend or confuse anyone: I like the action and excitement that happens in that department. Not bad things like abuse and mothers being cuffed and dragged away for abusing her kids. But being in an area where there's -always- something going on and you see interesting things. Even working on in the other areas of a hospital: ICU, medicine, psyc unit...you're not guaranteed to see much happen outside the occasional death or patient coding. But in the ER- you see everything from stabbings and gunshot wounds to people literally fighting for their lives!

...yeah, I'm a medical geek; don't judge me. Anyway, on to more positive things-

Christmas is here! It doesn't really feel like Christmas does it? With that being said, I will be posting Christmas and winter themed gifts and art between tomorrow and Christmas eve, including a few gifts. As a heads-up, some of y'alls gifts might be late-sorry in advanced but I promise the wait will be worth it. I'm not saying whose gift(s) will be late however; that will spoil the fun. Just realize that if your gift is not ready by Christmas, just be patient and relax! (I know, that's something furries are so good at) Remember, good things come to those who wait.

As for what's going on with me? Hmm, nothing new at the moment. I'm actually in a good mood right now because my life is going okay. Today, one of my coworkers treated the entire office to lunch as a Christmas gift, then I got three gifts as well: two from supervisors, one I received as a thank you for doing such a good job

...wait what? Supervisors that acknowledge you for doing your job and appreciate you? Blasphemy! Since when did the corporate world reward hard work and dedication?! Haha, but on a serious note, I'm doing fine: no drama, no idiots in my life, I look and feel good about myself, and some of my friends even surprised me with gifts to open this Christmas! *is almost happy enough to smile...almost*

Anyway, enough ranting for now! Have a good one y'all and have a conspiracy-free holidays~

Has it really been two months since my last journal? Well, let’s fix that…

Unfortunately, I’m actually in a good mood, so there will be no ranting or conspiring against anyone today (yeah, y’all are welcome). Just wanted to check in since I’ve been fairly quiet lately, minus the occasional posting of art here and there. My life is going okay, if not a bit tiresome, and I’m happy to say is my life drama-free, fairly stable, and heck, I’m still losing weight and slimming down. Not to mention, I'm finally getting to the point where I feel damn good about myself again. Can I brag a moment? I think I deserve to just a little (If you don't want to read it, just skip on to the next paragraph, I promise I won't kick your butt...today). Last weekend, I was pulling out the rest of my winter clothes, including all my leather outfits and accessories (because leather is a winter necessity) and was able to put on several pair of pants and jackets I haven't worn since 2006-2008! Yes, I've lost that much weight. And yes, it really is a damn good feeling.

So I really can’t gripe…today that is. Well let me rephrase that: I can gripe but I don’t have a reason to at the moment so I’m just gonna ride this feeling out until someone or something gets me riled up again.

First off, as a heads-up, I’ll probably be relatively quiet over the next few weeks since the new World of Warcraft expansion, Warlords of Draenor, will be out soon and, well let’s face it: I’m a gamer, I like shiny gear and weapons, and killing stuff. So yeah, replies to notes and messages/comments on here will be slow while I’m engrossed in killing orcs and other baddies. Why am I saying this? I don’t want anyone to accuse me of “ignoring” them or being too busy to socialize- at least I’m courteous enough to give fair warning and not just disappear without a trace like some furries do when a shiny new game comes out *glares at about 40 percent of the fandom that went quiet the day Destiny launched* Yeah…lol

…oh, and I am sorta busy with work too *looks at the massive project I just got this morning...just shrugs, and paws at it* Knew I forgot something relatively important, hmm. My job is under the impression that I’m actually “good” at my job so they keep giving me these projects that only I can do (read: no one else wanted or had the patience to do them so it got “volunteered” on to me). Blah. So apologies in advanced if I’m quieter than usual but I’m probably busy working, gaming, or trying to rest a bit between now and the holidays, which brings me to my next point:

Commissioned art and holidays
It’s nearly that time of the year again! I’ll be gifting some of my close friends art for Christmas. And around the holidays, I do try to budget my money properly…which means any commissions you see me post from now until Christmas will either be: a) old art I got and have been too lazy to post (which is sadly ALOT) or b) something I ordered/commissioned earlier and am just now receiving. Either way, I’ll keep sporadically posting art just to keep my account active and because I like sharing my commissions with others. With that being said, if I’ve hinted to you in the past to get a reference or picture of your sona but you’ve yet to do so? (You know who you are…yes, I’m talking to YOU) You have until December 5 to get a proper reference- otherwise, all you’re getting for Christmas is a bag of coal. And yes, I really would do that and some of you know I would so don’t push your luck. If I haven’t spoken to you about getting a sona or art with me in the past? Then I’m probably not talking about you and you’ll probably get lumps of coal just because I feel like it. Okay? Great!

I’m so glad we all had this little talk.

Anyway, hope everyone’s doing well. I’ll be back later with some random rant or rambling about someone or something. Have a good one.

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Edit- Really? Like really you guys? This update journal turned into a major geek/gamer/hug fest...how? I really don't know, y'all are just good like that I guess. Trying to get in some chat time with me before I disappear again huh? LOL

Well once again, the media and society has got me riled up. I was going to post a journal regarding friendships and relationships BUT it can wait...at least for now while I address something else.

Earlier today, I was reading an article about Ronda Rousey- for those of you unfamiliar with her, she's an UFC (ultimate fighting championship) fighter, not to mention she pretty dang good at judo...judo! A woman that can kick your ass and pin you into submission if you catch her on a bad day? Hell yeah, strong, kickbutt female for the win! And while I'll admit I'm not personally a fan of her, I respect her because she's a female that's pushed herself to get what she wants out of life and isn't afraid to take on anyone that tries to get in her way...

Anyway, that wasn't what the article was about: basically the writer of the article was commenting on Ronda's body type: how it's muscular and toned, yet she still manages to look feminine. The writer said that this [body type] is the ideal women should aim for- hence giving them a sense of confidence, inner strength, while feeling sexy as well, or as the writer defines it, "Strong is the new sexy, and strong is the new thin." While this statement is the writer's opinion, it's fair and understandable to a degree: there's nothing wrong with a woman having a built, muscular, athletic body type and -still- managing to look sexy, right?

...apparently not. As I read over some of the comments in the article's section- the majority of which from men of course, I was reminded of how ignorant and close-minded our society and the standards they set for how women should look and/or act. Here's a few comments from the article:

1) "Yeah sorry "strong is the new sexy and new thin"......no it's not. I admire her dedication to keeping her body in top shape, but normal people don't have that time, and most males will not find a masculine body attractive. If I see muscles on a female I'm not interested."

2) "There are three things that are always attractive and always will be: big boobs, big butt, slim waist."

3) "Don't already have too much attitude, hostility, and violence in the world without turning women into men? As a man, it's a complete turnoff!"

*pulls out my sword and starts to sharpen it at that last comment, growling a bit* Did I mention I really abhor the male gender at times? Because I do with such a passion (no offense to the few decent guys still left out there; you're excused for now). However, just to show I’m not completely biased, I'll throw in a comment posted from a random female as well:

"Well there is no doubt strong and healthy is a great ideal, but in my opinion that will be even more of an unachievable goal than thin. Yep, most women have like 10 minutes to focus on fitness. So now they have to concentrate not only eating just right but lifting, calisthenics, cardio, etc At least some women had a natural propensity to be thin, I know of no women who naturally looks like this. Work that job, birth and raise those babies but be sure your fit as an Olympic athlete...no problem."

*facepalms* Okay, so I don't care much for many females either- I think I just hate most people in general, LOL. So let me get this straight: it’s okay for a guy to be muscular and toned but if a female has muscles or doesn’t look “feminine” enough, she’s not attractive? Really?! Say it with me now: backwards ass double standard. Is society that damn superficial and ignorant? [No need to answer that because I already know the answer to that] Now while I’ll admit I don’t care much for women that are so muscle-bound they look masculine or look like they’re taking steroids, I don’t see the problem with a woman building –some- tone and muscle in her biceps, quads, abs, and other areas to look and feel good about herself while being healthy. And contrary to the naysayers out there, it IS attainable to do cardio, lifting, and eating right while juggling work , responsibilities, and a life. Hell, if I can do it as lazy and tired as I am from work most days, then so can anyone else that’s so “busy.” Thankfully, I don’t have rugrats so that might be a factor that works in my favor… but regardless, I’m sure there are women out there that can maintain this lifestyle under all those conditions. Even moving around a little each day can make a difference. For example, earlier at work, a girl from another department in the hospital bought over some boxes full of electrolyte fluid to our department. She warned me that they were heavy and one of the guys from housekeeping that was standing nearby offered to pick it up for me instead. I glanced at the boxes, and asked the girl how heavy was each box. She just said "heavy." I picked up one of the boxes- and not to sound cocky but the box was maybe a medium sized box that weighed maybe 8-10lbs, if that! I went ahead and carried the boxes myself, lol. I mean, I lift 5-10lbs dumbbells when I work out most days so maybe that's why the weight didn't bother me but come on! Are today’s girls really that dainty and out of shape, that anything over 3-5 lbs is too much to carry nowadays?

…then again, that probably explains why when I bought a pair of dumbbells a few months ago, the girl at the register was struggling to pick them up and scan them for me *chuckles* I mean…how awful

But wow, the standards people have set as their ideals for relationships and how they want their partner to look is so superficial. I always hear people say, "I don't care how he/she looks, as long as they make me happy or have a good personality..." Right...I'm sorry but that's bull, at least in most cases. Unfortunately, nowadays it's very rare to meet someone that puts personality over looks. If you’re one of the few that genuinely fall into that category, kudos to you. Seriously, I’d love to shake your hand. But! I'm getting off topic- a discussion for another day...

To sum this up, or tl;dr because I know how lazy some of your furs are: apparently most people, male and female, don’t care much for women that have athletic, bulky, muscular type builds because it’s not attractive or sexy. However, and this is what kills me, nor do they want a woman that’s obese either. If you’re too skinny, something’s wrong with you. So what DO today’s man and woman consider an “ideal body type” then? Most of you will say “average”- but then even that’s a vague description because guess what? What’s average to someone is probably considered overweight or too thin to someone else so we’re right back to where we started- judging people based on their looks rather than the person and how he/she acts

Now if you’ll all excuse me, apparently I need to go find a 15lb ammo box and carry it around until I’m toned and in kickbutt shape so I can teach some “friends” that need a lesson on why it’s not wise to challenge a wolfcat to wrestle. Rambling aside, I will be posting some commissions later on, probably sometime this weekend or later next week; I’m just lazy right now…for those of you just watching my account to see Whisper in her beautiful fury and rage. Otherwise, hope everyone is well and behaving yourselves…

Haha, look who I’m talking to, “behave yourselves...” that'll be the day. Later!

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Edit- Whoa, did not expect so many replies, much less interesting (and lengthy) ones at that! Definitely having fun reading and replying to them. Plus, it keeps me on my toes with some of your replies. Thanks you guys for putting up with my neverending rants and rambling...

As I was reading the news this morning, I saw an article on yahoo regarding mistakes we make in our 20s. And I nodded my head at 90 percent of it. Let’s face it, when we’re young and stupid (well, some people never grow up but let's not go there...) we deal with our fair share of issues, challenges, and assumptions about life, relationships, careers and other things that make us go crazy. The 20s are especially rough and can be unforgiving…can anyone say quarter life crisis?

With that being said, here’s a list of common mistakes that people tend to make in their 20s. Why I am sharing this? Because a good chunk of this community is in their 20s and I thought seeing some pearls of wisdom might behoove some of y’all. And honestly? Some of these mistakes go for EVERY age range in my opinion. This list is paraphrased, minus a few points I really wanted to emphasize (because I know how lazy some of y’all are) so if you want to read the entire article, go here

1. They think education and talent are enough to become successful
High intelligence, natural talent, and degrees from elite universities are all good things to have, but they in no way guarantee that you will land a great job — and mean nothing when not paired with hard work.

"How you work with others and carry yourself can also turn out to be much more important in advancing your career. "

2. They don't start saving money

3. They equate happiness with money

4. They neglect their health
As you get older, you'll learn pretty quickly you can't party like you did in college. 20-somethings also need to pay attention to their mental health, since any potential issues usually arise in your 20s.

5. They give up when things get tough *looks at several people in this community and shakes my head* I'd say something but I'm gonna censor myself due to how butthurt people tend to get nowadays...

Ending a serious relationship, getting fired from a job, and having your startup crash and burn can all seem life-destroying when they happen to you for the first time. But rather than giving up or aiming for a lower target the next time, you should use failures as opportunities to learn and improve yourself.

6. They put things off

7. They try to please everyone
When you're starting out in your career, it can seem natural to want to be on friendly terms with your boss, clients, and all of your coworkers. Rather than feeling crushed when you realize some of them simply don't like you, accept it and don't stress out.

"Inevitably, someone will always dislike you"

...and I'm going to say this again for emphasize because I don't think some people understand this concept. In life, no matter how nice, accommodating, or wonderful a person you think you are? Someone is NOT going to like you. Rather than try to figure out why that is, just accept it and reflect on the fact that there are people out there that DO like you.

8. They think all friendships can last forever
"Your college pals that you think will be your best pals for life? Some will still be there at 40, most will be living their lives doing their thing. When your friends aren't all living in the same town or campus, you'll realize which ones mean the most to you, and which ones are worth the effort of maintaining a relationship with.”

9. They look for their "soul mate" [yeah, I’m looking at you furry community and your insatiable need to find someone as quickly as possible because you can’t be alone and happy]

Some people decide to spend most of their 20s single, unattached to anyone. Others search for the right person to marry. The latter group can get caught up in the fantasy of finding someone where everything just clicks and the relationship is effortless.

But in real life, the most meaningful long-term relationships require work and dedication.

10. They think moving somewhere new will solve their problems
Do not think that moving to the opposite coast means you'll suddenly find meaning and direction.

11. They see things in black and white
Many people in their 20s get caught up in absolutes. For example, some feel like they have to choose between a career path that benefits them or one that benefits others, without realizing that self-interest does not have to mean the opposite of doing good for the world.

12. They try planning years in advance

13. They think they're the only one of their friends struggling
"...regardless of income, job, or living situation, every 20-something is still figuring things out as they go along."

---

Now there's a hell of a lot more I could add to this list: thinking the world revolves around you, getting married too young or quickly, having kids too young (or at all; I'm sorry but some people just should not have kids), being impatient and thinking things should happen when YOU want them to, or doing nothing at all with your life and wondering why life "isn't fair." But unfortunately the author didn't have me around when he wrote the article so I couldn't put my two cents in *chuckles* But in all seriousness, and this advice is for anyone in their 20s, 30s, teens, whatever the case may be. When life gets tough and seems unfair, take a sword and go melee on it until you feel better!

...oh, that doesn't work for everyone does it? Damn. Okay Plan B: suck it up and keep trying until you find what you want out of life, then work to attain it

On that note, I should get back to work! Gracias a dios es viernes... (Spanish: thank god it's friday!)

You know it's going to be one of those weeks when one of your coworkers comes into your office with two handfuls of chocolate candy as bribery motivation to complete something for them

…

*sets said chocolate on my desk and just looks at it for a few minutes before eating a rice krispy treat instead*

Anyway, hi everyone! This is mostly just a filler journal because it’s been a while since I posted anything. Things have been oddly quiet in my life. Which I can’t complain about, sometimes quiet is a good thing right? Mostly been working, working out, and gaming when time allows me to- you know, same old, same old. Which on a sidenote? I’m nearly at my 50lb weight loss goal! I had planned to hit it by my birthday a few weeks ago but too much barbeque, birthday cake, and ice cream said otherwise. That and I rather take my time doing this than just rushing to lose it only to gain it right back again. In addition, I’ve integrated some heavier dumbbells into my workout so I’m sure I’ve gained a bit of tone and muscle as well *shows off my toned legs, butt, and thighs* Feels great to be back down to my college weight! Now to keep going until I’m lean and at a healthy BMI (body mass index).

And no, not trying to look like a toothpick; I’m one of those people that doesn’t look right when I’m too skinny if that makes any sense. I’d post a picture on here to show my progress but then I remembered this is fa so…yeah, not happening. No offense to anyone but why should I care what others think? This is a “furry” site afterall, right? You need something to drool over, you got my sona

….actually, no, you can’t drool over Whisper either or she’ll kick your ass. And if she doesn’t, I will. Huh, screwed no matter who you try to look at. Yeah, that sounds about right *throws on my boxing gloves and glares at any disbelievers*

Also? I am REALLY getting sick of those Assumption(s) meme journals that have been floating around lately. I’m at the point where I don’t even read them anymore. Why? I don’t know; something about them just irks me. I know they’re meant to be fun and a way to get to know people but rather than having to wait for someone to make a journal prompting you to inquire about them, why not…I don’t know, ASK them regardless? *shrugs* Or maybe that’s too straightforward and simple for some of you, I don’t know. I’m at the point in my life where if I want to know something about someone or something, I ask- period. You shouldn’t need someone to post a journal giving you permission to make an assumption about them and they’ll tell you if it’s true or not. No wonder society is so presumptuous and screwed up nowadays *sighs and shakes my head* But that’s my rant of the day. Hope everyone’s well. I’m gonna eat this lemon pound cake my boss just bought me and hope the rest of today goes by quickly

So apparently I’m the devil *puts on my best surprised face*

Earlier today, me and one of my coworkers went to the cafeteria to see what they had for lunch. Now I already packed a lunch: salad, chicken and a baked potato, but I usually go to the cafeteria anyway just to see what they have. You guys ever packed a lunch only to realize, “Meh, I don’t really want that but I’ll eat it if I have to?” Yeah…I have days like that sometimes, hence why I like to check what the cafeteria has every day. So we get there and I saw “IT”: chocolate cheesecake! And it was the last slice for only $1.50!? But since I’m watching my weight, I had to ask myself- “How bad do I want that cheesecake?” and “How long would it take to burn off all the calories in it?”

…
…
…

Screw it, I wanted chocolate cheesecake dang it! So I asked my coworker, who’s also trying to lose weight and following a carb-free diet, would she like to split it with me so we could both have a treat without going overboard. Yeah, she called me the devil for being “an enabler of fat and sweet goodness.” *throws on a pair of pointy horns and just eats the cheesecake for myself* More for me then! LOL. It’s a known fact if you completely deprive yourself of sweets and cravings when you’re trying to lose weight, then guess what? You’re probably going to either overeat or break your diet. Yes, I’m still trying to lose weight but I still have my ice cream and a take-out burger almost every Friday night. Why? I work out 3-5 days a week and watch my fat intake relatively well so even if I do overdo it one day, my metabolism will burn it off if I stay active enough (that and I'll be damned if I give up my favorite foods completely, hmph).

So…hi! Everyone still alive for the most part? I’ve had a few people poke me via shouts and notes asking me how I’m doing since I’ve been so quiet lately. I’m fine, just busy with work, gaming and staying out of trouble. I’ve even been cutting back on commissions- mostly to save up for some epic pictures in the months to come. So for those of you that are just watching me for art/commissions alone? Be patient; good things come to those that wait.

In other news, I have set a new personal goal for myself: I’d like to lose 50 lbs by my birthday! Doable? Damn right it is! I’m already down roughly 39.5, 40lbs and a hell of a lot of inches. And my birthday is less than 20 days away. Now I just need to buckle down and get serious! Wait, did I really just eat a chocolate cheesecake and I need to lose about 10 pounds in 2 weeks? Really?!

…meh, it was worth it.

Anyway, later folks. Time to go run up and down seven flights of stairs so I can burn this pudge off.

*pulls a Goku and goes to go train in a hyperbolic time chamber for the next two weeks so I can come out looking epic and badass*

...the simplest things really do make you happy.

It's been a week since my promotion at work (see previous journal). As I was leaving out of work today, Bob, the manager of HR and infamous prankster that made me think I was getting a paycut...yeah, him. Came up to me and gave me a hug and asked me how I was enjoying the change and such. Then we talked for about five minutes about some other work matters which I won't disclose (hospital policies and all).

Now, I know that sounds unorthodox and even unprofessional, especially a boss hugging you...but keep in mind this is the South, not to mention he's a pretty lax guy to begin with so it's his nature to be as friendly, yet professional as possible to all employees.

But I tell y'all what, considering I haven't had a hug in...dear gah, I can't even REMEMBER the last time I had one! Is that sad? yeah, I'm pretty sure it is. Anyway, it felt, nice. And not in a "Oh, woe is me, I'm so lonely, emo, and need physical contact" sort of way. I mean "Huh, I'm actually noticed and appreciated for my hard work, maybe I should keep that up." Not to mention how candid yet relaxed he was talking to me outside of work. Let's face it, how many of your bosses, much less HR supervisors would talk to you outside business hours? Exactly. Which made me realize I"m damn lucky to have a job that I enjoy! It has its moments, and gah knows there are times I wish I could just hide under my desk until it's time to go home (I've tried, believe me, lol). But overall, it's...okay.

...on a random, conspiracy filled note, I really hate WoW's rng and loot/drop system. Like...I'm this close to hunting down a suitable sacrifice to increase my loot and droprate percentage. And if you don't know I'm rambling about, let me see if I can put it in geek/gamer terms- ever played a game where you needed x amount of a, b, c, or d to progress on to the next quest or part of the storyline? But the droprate for what you need is so bad or random, you can spend what seems like days, weeks or even months farming that ONE thing? Or how you need that one item to really help your character- that helm, chestpiece, ring, weapon...but it won't drop no matter how many times you run it? Yet your friend runs the same instance and gets it on their first attempt?!

Yeah, that's me right now *sighs and rubs my forehead* Will probably delete this journal tomorrow if I feel like it; just felt like rambling a bit since I've been too lazy to post any art lately. Until later~

So, just had the shock of the year…

So yesterday, when I was at work, the manager of Human Resources- we’ll call him Bob, and Jane, she’s over the financial aspect of HR, stood outside of my office and asked if I was busy. You know, it’s NEVER a good sign when HR wants to talk to you, especially when they’re holding paperwork in their hands. So I said “Sure, I got five minutes to spare…” Bob says “We’ve had to make some cutbacks to your pay…”

…
…

Yeah, not increase but CUTS to my pay! My face actually went pale- a funny thing to see really but, yeah, I was not laughing. He then sets some paperwork in front of me. I was getting ready to commit some workplace violence against our HR department, and then-

I nearly fell out of my chair. They not only gave me a new title but a raise! First off, Bob has some jokes! He said he couldn't resist messing with me so he decided to play a little joke on me and what better way than to make it seem like they were going to cut my pay or worse (...). You see what I work with here?! Anyway, back on track-

I’ve been doing so much extra work and projects not only for my department but for the hospital and its employees- and not to brag, but getting recognition for it. So HR, along with my boss, decided to fight to get me a new title and pay to reflect my work. And to my close friends I’ve been talking with, that’s a huge relief since right now the facility is trying to do cutbacks and layoffs, hiring and promotions are very scarce right now.

What's that you say- the corporate world actually –rewarding- hard work? A manager and Human Resources department that actually care about its employees and fights for you?Blasphemy! That is a lie!

Trust me; I’m still in awe over here myself. I went to HR shortly after they told me all this and one of the women in there told me all the work they did to not only get my position changed but how they were cheering me on, hmm. Anyway, my new position takes effect starting the next pay cycle/period since they'll have to update me in the computer and payroll system. So Bob and Jane congratulated me, and Bob told me point blank he was –very- surprised it got approved…and I am too to be honest. When someone requests a new position here, it requires a long, drawn out process from the manager explaining why they need the position and then it’s got to be approved by three people: the head of HR, said manager/supervisor requesting the position and finally the CEO of the hospital, who can veto it even if the other two parties agree with it.

So yeah, wolfcat is doing okay right now. My boss and coworkers are excited for me, as are my parents. Me? Pfft, I’m still going about things nonchalant- you know; don’t want to get a big head over it. Though I have to admit, it feels odd. I'm not really "excited" about it yet. I mean, yay, promotion- but I seem to be the only one not bouncing off the walls about it. I guess because I realize that it's really the same job I have now. Now I'm just being compensated for all the extra work I do -shrugs-

Anyway, hope everyone is doing well. I’m gonna celebrate by ordering a pizza…meh, screw that, I'm still watching my weight. I’m gonna spend the weekend vegging out, eating ice cream (ice cream is good for you, it's got milk...yeah, healthy stuff!), and playing some games until it's time go to back to work again. Until later~

Because it's cold and raining down here, ALL the schools, colleges and most businesses are closed. Along with any and all bridges and overpasses due to the fact that people down here aren't used to this kinda of weather- and keep in mind it's only 30 degrees, with a low of 24ish? (...) Damn, southerners really are weak- I'd hate to see what would happen if it got REALLY cold around here-

...and yet I'm being forced to go to work instead of staying home all day gaming and being lazy *sulks* there's a conspiracy afoot dang it!!!

In other news, hi all you new watchers! Here, have some king cake while I console myself and trudge off to work this morning. I know, I know, I'm supposed to be watching my weight but...what's mardi gras without king cake huh? Laissez les bons temps rouler! (Translation: "let the good times roll" in cajun)

In other news, I have a crapload of commissioned art to upload- which I was going to do this morning *glares at my boss* But it's okay, most of them are SAD (single's awareness day) themed so I'll hold off on them a few more days I suppose.

Well let me keep this rant short, I need to get ready to head to work. I'll post a special SAD journal in a few days as well so don't fret you single furs and folks out there, there's hope for us too. Until then, have a good one y'all~

Dang, it's been over a month since I last posted a journal? Let's fix that shall we. And what better way than to share something that happened while I was on my way out the door from work. I'm...not sure if this falls under sad, funny or just pathetic, I'll let y'all decide.

Anyway, I was leaving work, waiting on the bus to head home when I noticed a girl pacing back and forth by the main lobby- and I'll be filtering out ALOT of details due to HIPAA and patient confidentiality so bear with me. So she finally picks up the phone and that's when it started. Let's call this girl "Jane Doe" or jane for simplicity sake. Jane calls up, who we'll assume is either her boyfriend or husband...or her some deadbeat, whatever. Jane starts yelling into the phone- and everyone in the lobby can hear her and she doesn't seem to care one bit. Basically, she just had a baby-

...but it was a stillborn (died in the uterus or dead at birth for you non-medical folks).

As you can imagine, Jane was very upset by this. But that's not what had her riled up, oh no. She was upset because while she was in labor, said bastar...err, let's call him "dumbass" shall we? Was nowhere to be found. Even the nurses and jane's doctor was trying to contact this guy while all this was going on- and on their personal phones for that matter! No answer. So over 12-18 hours later (again, being vague for privacy sake), jane is finally able to get ahold of dumbass. At this point, the baby has been put aside to be taken away and buried and can't be viewed by anyone else. And jane? Well jane's ready to kick said dumbass's ass. When she asks where he was during all of that...what does he say? (and I think everyone in the lobby was curious to know that too at this point)

"Oh...I didn't know."

...

*facepalms so hard it leaves a red mark on my forehead* at this point, I'm ready to go help her kick his ass too and I don't even know her! Now make no mistake I:

-hate kids and don't EVER plan on having any (except for dogs, dogs are the only "kids" I need)
-don't have a "maternal instinct"
-feel that it was partially jane's fault for sleeping with dumbass in the first place (yes, it's her fault too, she chose to sleep with him and ultimately get pregnant)

But, I felt sorta bad for her, especially as she stormed out the hospital still wearing her gown with tears streaming down her cheeks, not even bothering to change clothes. Call me callous and cynical if you want but meh, just goes to show that it really is hard to find a decent guy nowadays, even one worthy of being a father figure...I'm just glad I won't have to ever worry about that *chuckles*

Hmm, I guess I should say what else has been going on with me lately other than plotting and conspiring huh? Eh, nothing much- just work, working out: still trying my damnest to lose weight and making progress (trying to work on toning myself and gaining more endurance), and even managed to get into a few game betas! Which I won't be discussing much on here due to some lovely NDAs. Otherwise all's nice and quiet on my end. I still have a bit more art to upload (most of it weeks and months old) but I'll do that when I feel like it, no rush. Plus I'm starting to plan out a few christmas commissions for a few of my close friends so don't expect many new commissions from me until the holidays.

...and on that note? time to grab a big bowl of cereal and call it a night. Have a good one~

---

(and for those naysayers that haven't been watching me long or think "You just haven't found the right guy yet to make you change your mind...you'll want a rugrat one day!" I'd like to direct you to this journal I wrote nearly two years ago and STILL stands true)

So can someone tell me how the hell you can lose then gain 7 lbs within 24 hours?!

I'm sorry but, that's a grand conspiracy if I've ever heard of one. For anyone that's been keeping up or talking to me lately, I've been working out and trying to better myself for the past few months. I'm down about 20, 21 lbs and a few sizes [damn right I'm bragging, I worked my ass off...literally!] Heck, soon I'm gonna look as cute as Whisper *chuckles* I was going to do the comparison meme, you know the one that's been going around on here for years now to show that I'm almost like my sona. But then I realized something:

- this is a FURRY community (that's enough reason right there)
- I'm a female in a majority male fandom/community
- it's the internet so no one cares how you look behind the screen

...so why bother? That and I don't like scaring my viewers anymore than I already do.

Anyway, when I weighed myself yesterday, scale said I had lost 7lbs: I knew it was just water weight since I haven't been able to eat for the past week after my wisdom teeth surgery.

Tell me why when I weighed myself again this morning on the same dang scale, said 7 lbs had miraculously come back...fml. I mean hell, I knew I'd gain it back but not -that- fast, sheesh. Sometimes I really hate being a female...like not even joking: females gain weight so easily, especially since we retain so much water in our bodies but try losing it? Hell, that's a work out right there! Ha, see what I did there? Yeah...that was lame *blinks* leave me alone dang it; I need my corny jokes to get me through the day.

Ah well, back to the treadmill and weights I suppose. I've been getting more and more compliments from people noticing my weight loss, to the point where it's obvious I will have to go shopping for some new clothes soon. And anyone that knows me knows I HATE shopping for clothes, like almost as much as I hate shoe shopping. I might just bribe myself with a trip to Gamestop when I go out just to motivate myself (one new outfit=two new games I can buy myself!)

Anyway, other than staring at a huge plate of cookies, cake and other assorted pastries in front of me right now that I can't eat due to my teeth? I'm...okay? My job went from state/civil service to privately run today so they're trying to distract us to make the transition as smooth as possible (read: stuff us with food and free stuff keep us relatively quiet) *pours myself a glass of cold milk and tries my damnest to eat some cookies and cake anyway* Ouch dang it; gotta eat through the pain...

...and yeah, this journal is mostly just to bump my journal from yesterday: I was going to delete it but since I still have a few active commenters and giggles from it, I guess it can stay archived. So instead y'all get to hear me ramble a bit more

Disclaimer: Anyone who watches me knows I barely do memes but I thought this would be an interesting change of pace. Hell, I don't have anything to hide and I barely have 100+ watchers...only a handful of which actually read said journals so why not?

...that and it's fault, I blame him for any and everything *points in his direction*

Contrary to popular belief, I'm not a complete "prude" and there's ALOT people don't know about me...they're just so busy making assumptions about how they think I am or "tiptoe" around me because they don't want to offend me, they don't take the time to get to know the real me.

With that in mind, the few of y'all that actually read my journals? enjoy! Will yank this down within the next 24 hours based on my mood

---

1. Is there anyone on your friend's list you would ever consider having sex with?

At one time? yeah. But now? Nope...

2. Sex in the morning, afternoon or night?

Eh, night I guess

3. What side of the bed do you sleep on?

On either of the sides (left or right)...that way I can reach over and grab either my katana or aluminum bat if I have to defend myself against horndogs...err, I mean burglars

4. Do you masturbate?

Tried it in my younger years: been there, done that...doesn't do a thing for me

5. How often? Lately?
n/a

6. Have you ever taken your clothes off for money?

No...but I'll gladly put them back ON for money because of how horrible I look

7. Do you prefer showers or baths?

Baths

8. Have you ever had sex in the shower or the bath?

Nope...

9. Do you watch/read pornography? With other people?

Sure, who hasn't? Keep in mind most of my friends are guys so it's not like it phases me. I just don't see the "wow" factor in it, it's basically a very bad, corny movie or story to me. I haven't watched any in person with anyone but I was invited to with a former coworker! (I turned him down though, lol).

10. Do you want someone aggressive or passive in bed?

Aggressive only! I'm sick of guys with no backbones or expect me to do all the work, hmph

11. Do you love someone on your friends list?

As a friend? sure

12. Do you know all the people on your friends list?

Nope

13. Would you choose love or money?

Money and only money- you can't live on love alone and I dare anyone to say otherwise

14. Your top three favorite kinks in bed?

Let's see: bondage/tying up people, biting and/or licking, and whips, chains and paddles (just kidding...or am I?!)

15. Has anyone ever gone beyond your personal line of respect sexually?

nope

16. Where is the most romantic place you have had sex?

n/a (and people wonder why sex doesn't interest me...yawn)

17. Where is the weirdest place you have had sex?

n/a

18. Have you ever been caught having sex?

nope

19. Have you ever been to a strip club?

nope

20. Ever been to a bar just to get sex?

No

21. Ever been kicked out of a bar or a club for sexual reasons?

Nope

22. Ever been picked up in a bar?

haha, please...I barely get "hit on" by anyone, let's get serious here

23. Have you ever kissed or had sex with someone of the same sex?

Nope

24. What's your sexuality?

Straight and damn proud of it!

25. Had sex in a movie theater?

Who the hell has sex in a dirty, dark place like that? I rather know who or what I'm touching thanks

26. Had sex in a bathroom?

Nope (didn't I tell you people my past partners were boring as hell).

27. Have you ever had sex at work?

Nope.

28. Have you ever been in an "adult" store?

Nope

29. Bought something from an adult store?

Nope

30. Do you own any sex toys?

Nope...though I've had guys offer to buy them for me but that's another story

31. If yes, how many and what are they?

n/a

32. Does anyone have naughty pics of you or are you on film?

...really? Come on now, next question...

33. Have you ever had sex with someone and called them the wrong name?

Nope

34. Have you ever had phone sex?

Many, many years ago...after agreeing to date my ex, I dare say it was one of the stupidest, most boring things I've ever done

35. Have you ever had cyber sex?

Only with someone I've genuinely interested in or want to date/dating. Otherwise? why bother

36. Do you think oral sex constitutes a form of intercourse?

Depends on the person and how it goes

37. What's your favorite sexual position?

I honestly don't have one (no seriously, I don't)

38. What's your favorite sex act?

Pushing someone to the edge only to make him hold it a bit longer. Then tease the hell out of him a bit more until he begs for mercy...err, I mean for me to stop *blinks* Yeah I'm a tease and proud of it

39. Have you ever had sex with more than one person at a time?

haha...ha. No seriously- this is me remember?

40. Who do you think has the guts to re-post this?

*yawns* anyone bored enough to do this and doesn't care what others think of them

Having your wisdom teeth pulled out is a conspiracy dang it!

Yeah, I shouldn't even be online but dang it, I"m bored just sitting here "resting." I'm not allowed to come into work until next week- my boss's orders. She, along with my other supervisor, both nurses, insisted I get some rest and recover properly...that and they don't want to see my "bleeding gums" or swollen mouth full of gauze, blah. And my mom, who's staying with me a few days making sure I"m okay? Doesn't want me sitting at the computer too long *sighs* blah humbug. Funny thing is, other than irritated nasal sinuses? and that's from that dang nasal cannula they stuck up my nose for oxygen. I feel fine. I was walking around about an hour after I got home and the grogginess from the IV sedation wore off (yay for very, very strong drugs that knocked me out!) and a few hours later? err, well let's just say I've been texting some of my friends on my phone out of sheer boredom...sorry y'all but I needed the company and I'm not allowed to do any excessive talking right now

Anyway, the surgery was fairly quick: was at 7 this morning, lasted 45 minutes. Next thing I know? they were wheeling me to my dad's car and home to recuperate. No real pain (yet) though they gave me some strong pain meds to combat it if it starts to bother me and I'm on a strict "soft food" diet (read: all the ice cream a wolfcat can eat) for the next week

...oh dear, how terrible *curls up in a corner with a gallon of ice cream, chocolate pudding and frozen yogurt to nom on*

Anyway, hope everyone is doing better than I am. I just wanted to ramble a bit since I really can't sit at my pc long to play any games right now *grumbles* I know there's a conspiracy afoot but I just can't put my finger on it. Hell, even my pain meds that are supposed to induce sleep aren't working and they're -strong- too (rather not say the name on here for medical reasons)

...

Eh, screw it *pulls out devil may cry 3 and rages for the rest of the evening* Will probably delete this later when I finally fall asleep or my voice goes out from yelling at the game, whatever comes first