I got an art tablet nwn I'm not good at coloring things traditionally, so I do it digitally. But I only had a mouse and used MSPaint in the past, so I was kind of limited and it was hard to preserve some of the choices I made traditionally the way I had to make it digital X3 Now I can do a lot more and maybe make things more detailed nwn Very happy about that~ It was starting to feel pointless to draw, because I could never make the digital as good as the traditional, and I also couldn't improve in the ways I wanted. I think now I'll have a better opportunity to do that~ No more smudges or graphite or ink on my hands, no more eraser shavings >w< I can try new things and it won't be as annoying because it's so much easier to erase and it's just a much better sensory experience. It's kind of spoiled me though >u>; I doodle in my sketchbook at work and I don't like it. But I also don't have the motivation/mindset I used to that gave me more of a passion for it, so that's probably another issue. Anyway, yeah. Maybe I'll post a bit more now ^^ Maybe.

I have plenty of ideas, but no motivation to draw or create anything. I have a lot of executive dysfunction issues when I'm unmedicated, unfortunately. Not much intrinsic motivation here, unfortunately ^^; I always seem to prove myself wrong when I make statements like that, so maybe typing this will lead to me drawing. I definitely have an idea for an updated fursona. Just one, so far.

In the summer I had an idea for a different dragon, but the longer I was home the less and less I was able to draw. I'm home for good now since I graduated from college last November, so I haven't drawn in a long while. I had an idea for a new dragon, but that didn't work out. I was barely able to draw it then :s None of my ideas worked and it felt like I didn't know what I was doing anymore, and eventually I lost the spark. Eventually I created a sad character that was less of a sona and more how I felt. I guess I'll post that. I was barely able to doodle it and it still isn't perfect, but it's alright.

Anyway, I have another idea now. Maybe once I have my medication I'll find a way to draw it. I really don't feel like I can draw anymore. There's a lot I can't do here... I don't even have a desk or table or good lighting to work with. I'd love to be able to draw again, but this really isn't a good place for it xmx My creative limbs just don't work anymore, it seems.

I can't figure out what I wanna draw >:v I used to draw so much. I used to draw all the time, in high school. It helped with my emotional expression and gave me something to do. My characters used to represent me somehow.

Now I rarely draw, and I don't draw my characters either. Not having a desk contributes to that. But I also don't get the feeling to do it, or the motivation. I'm also using a different pencil than I was before. It's a good pencil that erases well and allows me to add details I couldn't in the past, but I think the lead is a bit too small or something. The eraser is also running out, and using a separate one really slows me down to where I just stop drawing >u>;

Right now I'm medicated because I take some classes for fun. I'm out of school now (graduated in December) so I'm rarely medicated. It seems that when I'm not medicated I have no interest in drawing xux; But I wish I did, and I wish I was as into it as I used to be. I have time to do it now, so it would be nice to do. I just play games or watch videos all day :/

Sometimes I even feel like making another suit or costume or something, but I don't have the space. I also seem to be a bit claustrophobic, so I'm not even comfortable wearing the suit I did make (which takes up a bunch of space and involves a character I no longer identify with). I really want to do something creative and animal related, but I can't xux It's to the point where I have ideas and would rather have someone else draw them than draw them myself. I have lots of ideas, maybe too many. But no motivation to draw or make them at all.

I also wish I could improve a bit more. I'm tired of the pixels >u>; I want to be able to draw the way other people do and have smooth lines and do different things with coloring. The coloring would require gaining more knowledge, but for the art program all I have is a laptop. I don't have a fancy drawing tablet or whatever, and I would have to get one with a screen to do well with one. I feel like everything I draw kinda looks the same >u>; I'm limited by my physical skills and devices. There are other things that bother me about my art but once again they'd require gaining knowledge and practicing, and I don't think I have the patience for that >u>; I'd love to get better with expressions and poses. I think it comes to some people naturally, but I already have trouble with expressions because of autism I guess.

There are just so many things I can't do, it seems ^^; I wasn't very satisfied with the last few things I drew. It's like drawing needs to fulfill some kind of purpose for me, and it's just not doing it anymore. In general I feel like my capacity for passion has decreased, and nothing really captures my attention the way it used to. I did stop myself from getting too into things at one point, but I guess it's out of control now ;w; I don't know what I want to do with art anymore. I want it to communicate something or turn into something, but it can't or won't for so many reasons. I think my characters used to be alive, but now they just exist in a void and I really don't want to make a whole world for them to exist in :/ My mind goes "What's the point?", and that goes down every step of the way until I'm not sure I even want to make a character.

[Rambling On]
I used to see other people's characters and think they were so cool. I still do! It seems like their characters exist in a world. They aren't just name-only beings, it seems. Maybe because they commission people that put them in places where they're alive, or maybe because they can draw that well and do it themselves. Their characters seem to have pretty strong identities too.

I've never put much story to my characters. In general I create things that are supposed to make their own stories and their lives start when I've finished bringing them into the world. But they never come to life >u>; They don't really feel like characters, I guess. They're just shapes with names. They aren't alive, and they don't live. I can't draw them in lively ways, or put them in places, or have them interact with anyone. I don't even have the patience to make reference sheets for them, so I couldn't get them drawn by someone else even if I wanted to ^^; They're reoccurring background characters in a story/show that doesn't exist.

When I think about making a new character I've already lost half my motivation by the time I touch the sketchbook. I think "What's the point of naming a shape?". I also can't stick to singular representations of myself, so my sonas don't feel right. There are things I don't know how to draw either, so even if I imagine them I can't draw them. Gryphons and centaurs, anything with wings, fan characters with specific art styles, etc. No skill, very little patience. Drawing is kind of like putting together puzzles for me. I enjoy it, but if it takes too long I lose interest in it. I worked on puzzles for hours at a time when I had the space. Working on a drawing for more than a few days usually means it'll never be finished. Certain levels of detail and quality take time, and I don't have the patience to take that time or learn how to do it, so I guess I'm just kinda stuck xux;

Bet I've already used that title before.

I got a new house on Second Life~ Sold my old land and got some new land and a new house. My old neighbors had a really big house and it was very nsfw and I could see and hear a lot of it, which was annoying. New house is cute and small. Perfect for a single squirrel, although it'd be cool to have a housemate. I don't know what I'll do with the extra room. I haven't furnished it much. I lost a lot of energy and motivation this week. I don't feel much interest in doing any particular thing. I log in sometimes feeling a bit like it would help me somehow, but nothing happens and then I log off :/ I've been very cold and sleepy all week.

It would be really nice to have an avatar for Ilzorath. I like dragons, after all. But it seems that I'd have to put it together myself and I don't want to. It'd take a lot of time and money >u>;

I need to remember to do it at some point. At the least I'll have a list of what could've been. >u>

Mina werewolf
Saika bear
Jan Brr'ee
Mel E. Tonin
Teabats
Zapling
Big desert lizard
Rujia dragon
Berry fairies

I've wanted to make things for so long. I have so many projects in my mind. So much I could do. It reminds me of a line in a book I'm reading for class...

I hate school so much. It's consuming me. I'm supposed to graduate before Christmas, but I fear I'm going to fail. I'm so overwhelmed. I don't even know how my brain got this far to begin with. Executive dysfunction. I wish my body was a machine that could work without a consciousness. I'd love to just go to sleep and wake up to all of my work done. I'm so tired of this. I don't have time to do anything I like anymore. I don't even feel like doing the thing I like. Nothing makes me as happy as it used to. I never get to draw or create, I'm dissatisfied with every game I manage to play and playing some is a chore. At this point I'd just have to pay other people to do all my drawing for me. I want to see my characters alive, but I can't draw them anymore.

Right now my soul is being destroyed by a research paper. I have never been able to complete a research paper on time or on my own before. I had to retake a class because of a research paper once. I have one due tomorrow at midnight, 7 days after it was originally due. I don't even have half of the required pages. I have no idea what I'm doing. I just was not made to write research papers... I've been here for so long, and I'm still here. I feel like I'm being held hostage. I just need the stupid degree. I've worked so much, I've paid them, I've helped them. Would they get in trouble if they just gave it to me? Maybe the accreditation makes them have to follow certain rules or something. I wish they would just give it to me.

I've been here too long. It feels like some kind of cruel game, making me worry and stress and work so hard for nothing. I got this far, but everything is too much. Everyone tells me I can do it. I've gotten this far, but the longer I stayed the more I struggled. Maybe it'll be one of those situations where the runner in first place collapses inches from the finish line. I'll be frozen in that moment forever xwx

I forgot I was a furry, kind of. When I was in high school it was really big and important to me. I stopped making it immediately noticeable when I noticed people bullying and insulting furs on facebook and in other places. I already felt hesitant to speak, but I didn't want to work up the energy to do so only to have some rando insult me and dismiss whatever I said because I had a profile picture of a cartoon animal. Anyway,

I found a nice discord server for people who share one of my traits. It was a new home after my original one on an actual website was destroyed by terrible people. It was nice. But then they started saying dumb and rude stuff about furries. I had just remembered I was one and had a great conversation with a kohai about my characters and art. But those people were rude. There were too many of them for me to speak, and when I tried I was ignored.
So many people, so much ignorance, and I couldn't say anything to explain or defend what they were admittedly not sure about. They didn't seem like they wanted to learn, though. It felt bad to have people I thought liked me (who I liked as well) insult something I cared about like that when they didn't even know if what they were saying was true. So I stopped speaking. Not unusual for me. Anyway, after a few weeks I was thinking of coming back, but then I see them saying something similar :/ It probably isn't worth it. At this point I won't be able to feel comfortable there anyway.

I don't have the time to chase after their raucous conversations or small-talk with them when they finally quiet down and the only ones around don't know me. I just don't feel cared about there. It's overpopulated. I don't know what I expected. I'll congratulate myself for participating as long as I did, but it just isn't something I can do long-term. The sense of community is inconsistent and it's hard for me to feel like part of a group as it is. I drown in crowds. I never did well in the furry "community" either. Groups just aren't for me. I can't exist in a group.

The website changed! :0 Looks much nicer, I'm pretty surprised to see that. I haven't posted my art in so long >u> I don't know why I ever felt the need to. But it feels weird just having it and not putting it anywhere, and it was always nice to be able to have it whenever I wanted without having it downloaded on my phone. I haven't even had time or motivation to draw stuff for a while. Haven't done many big drawings in a long time xux I want to get better at coloring.

I think the reason I draw my sonas has changed over the years too. I used to use them for a lot of self-expression, maybe because I wasn't able to do it irl at that time. Now I can, and I just draw them for fun. Drawing so often in the past really kept my characters alive, but now they feel a bit stale, and I don't make new characters anymore. I used to draw constantly hoping to improve. I have improved over the years, but I get pretty frustrated with Rinn and Ilzorath X3 I can't draw either of them as well as I want to, so I can never have a drawing of them I'm completely pleased with and it's very annoying. And because my coloring is so flat and paint-bucket and meh, I don't have much interest in doing the work of darkening the lines, scanning them, fixing them, and then coloring like I used to. The end product isn't as satisfying anymore. I want it to look better.

My mom had me watch a Lisa Ling cover story(?) on furries with her and now I have two suit ideas in mind and plan to make her a character. But I don't want to keep using this account. I don't wanna come back xux

I can't make friends here.
I struggle to even maintain conversations online, let alone socialize in general.
Everyone who talks to me fades away within the week and never returns again.
I don't understand Twitter or Discord, I'm not good in group chats.
I don't have transportation to cons and can't talk well in group situations.

How the heck can I be a part of a such a social community?
It's impossible for me to talk to anyone here x-x
It's impossible for me to make friends online, and I don't know how to do it irl either.
I felt unwelcome and uncomfortable in both local communities I had access to.
And no one can see me anywhere I go xwx
I don't know what to do.

Welcome to my page.
If you're here, I'm probably not.
My twitter is simpleTails if you want to reach me for some reason.
I will come back here occasionally, but I don't really like it here a lot,
and I don't know how much longer I'll post here.
I do feel the need to post, however, so I'll have to find a better place to do it
where someone might notice more.
I want to share with others when I'm proud of what I've done.

I want to talk about my characters and post my art of them where someone will see it.
I want to share with others.

A lot of what I've drawn recently is not furry, so I don't wanna post it here.
This account is supposed to be furry, not general art. So I don't want to mix too much.
I'm not sure what I'll do, but posting here disappoints me, so I should stop.

This summer I've been drawn much more to Ilzorath than Rinn when it comes to self-representation. I wanna write about why, because it's something that interests me~

I originally made Rinn in the summer, but she feels a lot more like a college character to me. She's very much associated with my college city since she was becoming a main sona when I interacted with the furs there. She likes Japanese stuff like I do and I bought a lot of merch and stuff that year. She wears a seifuku sometimes, so a school outfit. I imagine her being in a yuri as a lonely main character. She travels alone and likes girls. I tend to feel alone and I like girls. My isolation and loneliness is much stringer when I'm at school, while I'm at home now and try to tone down the gayness to avoid annoying anyone (and I'm hyperaware of it otherwise). There are also tons of squirrels at my school that I enjoy watching and taking pictures of, so my own lovely squirrel is often on my mind. The nature at my school is also lovely, and Rinn is often surrounded by nature.

I made Ilzorath last November I think, while I was at school. She didn't represent me much while I was there because it took me a long time to even figure out how to draw her. I finished right around the end of the school year and bought a sketch of her from staticcreature on twitter that perfectly represented her despite the terrible ref sheet I provided for staticcreature to work with. I had already decided Ilzy would be addicted to the internet, but once I got home I started feeling a lot like her. She has issues that make going outside and interacting with others hard for her, and she has the choice to not do it and feels unable to do it well so she doesn't. I'm trapped in the house and she's kinda trapped in her cave. I'm on the internet or playing video games from the time I wake up to the time I go to sleep, and she does the same thing. She doesn't talk to many people in real life, and I never get the chance to. She just feels overall rough to me, and I feel rough all the time. She's quiet and bitter and not very expressive, and that's how I've been this summer. It's one of the worst summers I've had in my life, and I don't feel much love for anyone right now, really. Can't rely on anyone for anything, so I gave up talking to them. They don't talk to me anyway. That's not gonna help me in the end, but it probably won't hurt me either. Idk. I don't know if I listed any great reasons for Ilzorath. But I just feel a lot more like her right now. My life is pretty empty right now, I guess, and so is hers.

I'm never here anymore, whoops ^^; I'd almost prefer my presence here to not exist at all.

Update on the concert, turns out the whole time my friend was wanting me to pay, even though the whole time he knew that I had no money (I brought it up preeeeetty often) and that I had to cancel in the first place because I couldn't afford it. And then they had a family emergency and his job wanted him to work the day of the concert and I just let it fall apart as they failed to understand that even if I wanted to, I couldn't afford to help with financial stuff. So I backed out and then I was given all that bad info afterward. Nice to know it would've never happened anyway even if I suddenly gained hundreds of dollars, it was stupid of me to trust another person to make one of my dreams come true, especially an untrustworthy and flaky guy (my friend's husband).

I kinda wanna delete my account. Or at least unwatch almost everyone I'm watching. Sick of seeing thousands of submissions that I have to clear out because the number bothers me. I don't draw a ton and I post here in case someone else might like or see what I post, but few people ever do. I don't buy art, I don't sell art, I don't do trades, and I don't socialize (already learned that lesson).

I feel annoyed every time I come here. ^^; I come and see no nice notifications like comments or favorites, just heaps of submissions and journals I'm not going to look at because there are too many. I don't get to enjoy any specific artists much because I'm watching too many people here. I come here and I nuke my submissions and journals and then leave.

I have little reason to be here. I just wish I could stop getting the compulsion to come check my notifications.

I'll have to drive part of the way to the concert....he said we could split it. But I haven't driven in a year. And I have only driven on a freeway/highway thing like once or twice. It's very hard for me to make super fast adjustments and decisions on the spot, And when I drive I can't eat or drink or talk. Having to pay constant attention for so long is going to drain me xnx I hate driving. It's so boring and I'd have to be using all of my senses and resources to make sure we didn't crash and die.

But it wouldn't be fair for him to have to drive all the way there. But wouldn't it be better to be unfair then to risk losing your life or getting really injured and having to go to the hospital?? He didn't seem to think anything I said make it seem like a bad idea. But he has to drive his wife everywhere because she can't drive, so I wish he would just drive there too >u>;; I really, really, REALLY hope the rental company insists that the renter has to drive the car. I hope with all my heart and every bit of power I have. I hope to God. I'd even be willing to lose something I like if it meant he'd have to drive the whole time. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaugh. :s

*collapses to my knees screaming* There's going to be a Vocaloid concert in LA!!!!!!!!!

If I scramble and flail just right I should be able to go, but looking at the price... I don't live in LA. I live about 8 hours away. I would be using Amtrak to get there and back, but the only options are overnight. The first night I would be at the concert, and the second I would have to get back on the Amtrak and go home. The issue is, all the Airbnb listings I see want me to check out at 11am.

I have no connections in LA ^^; Young female traveling alone in an unfamiliar place. I just want to be safe and secure until I leave.

I'm really hoping I can do this. At the very least it'll be like $250 overall. I'm counting on a lot of things to happen just the right way. Need to sell my 3DS and get some care dot com jobs. I'm really counting on them. I just can't stand to miss another one of these concerts.....

edit: Never mind, I give up. There's no way it's going to work out. x-x Really, it was stupid of me to even consider it a possibility. All my heart beats for....once again postponed....

Making my dorm next fall a cave theme, with a bit of dragon stuff mixed in. Specifically stuff that relates to Ilzorath. I like the idea, but a lot of the things I've thought of require commissioning someone, especially because living in a "cave" will make me wanna be more dragon themed overall and get some items that hint at dragons and scales and Ilzorath.

I can easily imagine having a laminated door hanger or sign that says something like "Beware of Dragon" and has a picture of her furiously typing out some rant on her laptop or something, or maybe hitting someone over the head with a laptop or something. I don't know if she interacts with humans or not...it would probably be a fox she was attacking. And then maybe on the back it would be a picture of Rinn curled up asleep on some moss with stacks of manga nearby and have some cute text about squirrels needing sleep too or something, idk. I'd definitely love to have a pic of Ilz in her room with her belongings and stuff in the background (all the different lamps and rarely-handled plushes of her favorite characters and stuff), but I'm not good with lighting or shading or depth or...

I think it would be cool to have more scaly and dragon-like things. I think dragons are cool, and Ilzorath is one of my sonas, so it would be fun to acknowledge her more. She's the most autistic one, so it makes sense that I'd have more real-life items related to her than Rinn or Ivy X3

The bathroom is based off an image I have in my head of a pool of water/area with soft running water in the caverns connected to Ilzy's cave filled with soft, rounded pebbles. There'd be a place in the ceiling where the moonlight could peek through, reflecting off the surface of the water and making the pebbles almost shine beneath it. I definitely have the pebble stuff down, but there isn't as much of a shine or water as I'd like and dark gray rugs and nice tabletop fountains are pretty expensive. I only have so much to replace what I had to throw away and get extra with, so I can't go all out just yet. I'm excited to finish everything in the end, though. The money I'm spending is going toward a very useful place for once, and it'll improve my standard of living.

*can't commission anyone or get free art because none of my characters really have reference sheets or none of the reference sheets are good enough*

I've always had people draw my characters incorrectly even when I had reference sheets, so I hesitate to make more because I can just draw my characters on my own. But because I'm drawing them they tend to be imperfect and not show exactly how I want my characters to look, and then I change them immediately or repeatedly almost as soon s they've been posted :/

It's a lot of work making them look right, and I don't want to make a bad accurate one. I want them to be the ref sheets to end all ref sheets for those characters unless I decide to change an aspect of their design. So it's a lot of work making one that doesn't suck and that is accurate and anatomically nice
I always forget some important detail and I never have the guts to correct the artist, and then I have art that I never use or look at because of its inaccuracy and imperfection ^^; I'm very particular about how I want my characters drawn. I like things to be kind of close to how they are on the ref sheet, because I put work into drawing each species as correctly as possible, with the right nose and ears and paws and paw pads. I'm very picky about it and would rarely be able to accept something that is technically "wrong" for the species, like dog noses on rabbits or completely incorrect head shapes. I just csnt ^^; So I need to make ref sheets, I guess, that properly express how specific I want things to be drawn.

And I don't have a fancy computer program with layers that I can use to make my backgrounds less plane and to organize my words better and stuff, so they're all gonna look like crap no matter what, I think.... actually now I see something I can try.

:s

Here it is.
I've observed my Summer state and should be prepared for the darkness. I've made my kohai aware of how I tend to be...not looking forward to it.

I'd say "Maybe this summer will be different?" But I don't see how it would be any more different than any other... Nothing will change that I know of. There's a reason I get the way I do, and the causes of that reason most likely have not changed... I'll just try to deal with it the best I can.

I hate the way I act. It's worse than watching anime... pretty much cost me a friend last summer, but I don't need her in my life anyway. Last time I blew up at someone like that I also needed her out of my life. God is watching out for me~ I needed both of those connections severed completely, and they were. But I still don't like how it feels to upset someone, and how upset I feel during the whole season.

I can't enjoy it. And then I go right back to school, which will only be a little better.

I have August planned to be at least a little amazing, and I do hope it goes the way it's supposed to, or I'll die a thousand deaths x-x

As usual won't have money, house won't be 100% stress free, can't interact with the furs in town, friends busy (I can only guess they would be, I don't see why that would suddenly change). Now I have friends in another state I can't even see, unless August goes well. That's really all I can look forward to. And the fact that if I don't immediately spend all my money on cool Japanese stuff I'll be able to slowly run out of it by buying myself treats I also wouldn't be able to get otherwise~ But I'll be unmedicated, so who knows how it'll turn out.

Not something I do crazy often. I have twitter but don't talk to anyone there, don't commission folks much or sell art, don't have any furry friends (I'm pretty specific with my definition of friendship), and don't really talk to anyone in the areas I live in.

I did try, for a while. I thought it would be cool and fun, and it was for a little while. But over time the typical downsides of social interaction and community awareness showed up. It become clear to me how little I wanted to talk to most of the furs in my college area ^^; I know the community is made up of a ton (if not mostly made up of) males, but jeez. There was an imbalance of cultures that just really got on my nerves and made me uncomfortable, so I had to leave. I met some locals my age irl, but that kind of interaction isn't completely necessary for me and I just became more and more aware of the flaws and differences we all had that made it difficult for us to get along as well as I do with my friends, so I had to cut ties with them too.

In the state where my family lives, the community there isn't amazing for me either. There seems to be a better balance of folks, but the group is so closed off and rude to people who aren't part fo it that I was never able to fit in well. Additionally, despite my typical efforts to mesh well with everyone and meet folks, no one spoke to me or replied to me when I said anything (in the Facebook group). I didn't make any friends, no one welcomed me, and I was actually treated very rudely by someone there for a really stupid reason (concerning the social anxiety I can't avoid or escape. Come to think of it, I was also quite intensely mistreated by one of the locals here in my college area. It actually really messed me up and I was cornered and starting to break down, but God sent one lovey person who just also happened to have Autism to come and defend me against her. Not a single other person in the group (and there were several people active and online) did a single thing to intervene.
Assholes. -n-

No one in the "real world", or more traditional communities, has ever mistreated me, but the few times I made attempts to interact with other furs I was attacked and "bullied". I often make sure to notice that the people announcing their exits form the community tend to be at least a little social in the community. It made sense to me even before I started trying to talk to people.

I should probably just stick to my skill of not needing to talk to others much. It would save me a lot of wasted energy, time, and emotion. Every time I reach out, especially online, something happens that makes me regret it. Now I've lost the laminator my dad gave me back when my heart had less holes in it. It was a sign of better things to come, and a generator of possibilities, and in my idiotic kindness I threw it into a black hole so the person who attacked me could make a few bucks over the long, long break they had that I certainly could've used.

Cons seem nice. But I should stop wanting to go to them. They're social events and I know no one in the community. I can commission people online if I insist and suit around my dorm or campus at night if I must. But there's nothing I can gain from a con. Not even an anime con. I really just can't enjoy the social side of any communities I'm attached to, and I need to remember and understand that so I don't waste any more time in my life. Not to say I don't enjoy talking to anyone. I just can't get much enjoyment out of seeking people out, as I don't have the skill to talk to them for very long and I'll probably make a mistake that will erase the chances of future interactions. And once folks notice that, they don't want to talk to me anyway, so it's fine I guess.

Tomorrow is my birthday~ I'm gonna be 20 years old *w*
I bet I won't feel any different, especially because tomorrow is one of my busier days.

I wonder if I should retire my current "fursonas"? They don't represent me like they used to. But they did a good job in the past~ I could say...

Ilzorath takes Loro's place.
Ivy takes Clover's place.
Rinn gets her own spot after Chikoa's is destroyed and removed.

I think that sounds about right~

I made a warrior cat clan group chat on facebook to plan my birthday event with my friends X3 I had a lot of fun doing it. I gave it the lame name of Birthday Clan.

Each kohai got an apprentice name and each senpai got a warrior name.
My name is Fogstar, and I was formerly Fogstep. I'm a dilute tortoiseshell she-cat~ I suppose the step is for my hesitance and maybe also my caution. I look before I leap, I move a step at a time and can be very slow. I think before I act and sometimes don't act at all. My process of action has many steps to it before the actual action happens. My hesitance can get in my way, but it's very important to think and be careful, and that's probably why I'm the clan leader, aside from the fact that it's going to be my birthday on the 10th uwu

Kohai 1 is Thistlepaw, and she's a black norwegian forest cat with unruly fur. Her warrior name will be Thistleheart because she is sensitive, with a sensitive heart and is full of love for her friends and family and will do anything to help them out. She acts like she's rough around the edges, but her beauty and kindness is clear past that prickly veneer.

My other kohai is Boulderpaw, a pixie bob with a solid build. Her warrior name will be Boulderspring because she is enthusiastic and does what she needs to do to get things done. She is strong and up to any challenge. She's a little larger than other cats her age and is insecure about it, but it only enhances her strength and ability and adds to her uniqueness when compared to others.

My senpai on campus is Peachnose, an orange and white mackerel tabby with a pink nose. Peaches are cute and the creaminess of the white mixed with the orange reminds me of an orange creamsicle, which fits her personality pretty well. She's very much like a sweet dessert or frozen treat. It just seems pretty playful and also aesthetically pleasing, and that's her. She's also always learning something, always sniffing around for more information.

My senpai off campus is Honeyflight, a grey calico whose pale orange marks stand out well from the rest of her fur. She is always busy and always moving around or going somewhere. She never stops moving and just kind of zooms from place to place. She can be very extreme (always moving, worrying too much, drinking too much accidentally, earning a lot but spending very little and only buying cheap things, suddenly buying something expensive, suddenly deciding she wants to move out of the country) and never really sticks in the middle of things. She just flies in one direction or the other, so I think her name fits her pretty well.

I need a new sketchbook so I can continue drawing. ^^; I've needed one for a little while now. A while ago I considered buying one online, but I couldn't find the one I would've gotten. My school can take me to either Wal-Mart or Michael's, I don't think I can do both. So I'll have to go longer without one.... I'm on the last page of the one that's the size I like (and am less likely to waste sheets of), and I already drew a bit in it yesterday.

I would love to have foam and more fur. It'd be fun to make another head or some other kind of wearable. I don't think I like fursuiting much. I think I start to panic a bit in the head I made because I can't breathe as easily as I can without it and I'm so restricted in it. A mask or hood/shawl thing would work better for me, most likely. A head that feels roomy and gives me enough room to breathe might work well, but I don't know if I could make one like that.

RULES :
1. Pick a character you've created.
2. Fill in the questions/statements as if you were that character.
3. Tag at least four people to do this meme
4. Tell people that they been tagged with a link from your journal (if you want to)
____________________________________________________________________________________
Saw that  Aldin_Busheytail did this, and apparently got it from  Aedenmel, and it looked like fun.

Character picked: Hrinndyl Quicktail


1. What is your name?
Hrinndyl Quicktail! But please call me Rinn.

2. Do you know why you were named that?
Nope. ^^ It's kind of a common name where I'm from, too.

3. Single or taken?
Single. I'm a mojyo~

4. Have any abilities or powers?
Nope, nothing special about me. ^^;

5. Stop being a Mary Sue!
Oooh! I'd kill to be a Mary Sue *o* I bet it's pretty fun.

6. What's your eye color?
Green.

7. How about hair color?
My hair is white, just like some of my fur! The rest of it is gray, except my ears and nose, and part of my back.

8. Have you any family members?
I'm pretty sure I still have parents back at my village, and the uncles and aunts and cousins l didn't get to see very often.

9. Oh? How about pets?
No. I don't think anything living would want to belong to me ^^; I'm not especially powerful or talented or anything, so there wouldn't be much point in it.

10. That's cool, I guess. Now tell me something you don't like.
Glad you think so, I guess. I don't like traveling very much, though I don't have much choice right now. And I don't like big crowds or talking in front of a lot of people, so I tend to be quiet in groups.

11. Do you have any activities/hobbies that you like to do?
I like reading manga when I can find it, and napping when I'm safe, if that counts~ I'm also a fan of dancing, and it's only when I'm dancing that I don't mind being around others that much.

12. Have you ever hurt anyone in any way before?
It probably hurt the squirrels who cared about me when I disappeared from the village without telling anyone face-to-face, but other than that I don't think so.

13. Ever… killed anyone before?
Heh, no! XD I'm more of a run-and-hide kind of squirrel.

14. What kind of animal are you?
I'm a Ponderosa squirrel.

15. Name your worst habits.
Hm.... well, I probably tend to think less of myself than I do of others. And I judge others more than I should before getting to know them. I also eat way too much when I find something I like.

16. Do you look up to anyone at all?
I don't really know anyone to look up to.

17. Are you gay, straight, or bisexual?
I'm only attracted to other females.

18. Do you go to school?
No, I don't really have a reason to.

19. Ever want to marry and have kids one day?
I'm not a big fan of kits, but it would be cool to find someone who would want to marry me ><

20. Do you have fangirls/fanboys?
Nope. I'm kind of a background character, so the fans wouldn't even be able to see me.

21. What are you most afraid of?/[b]
Fire! I hate hate HATE it. I'm pretty flammable, and trees are pretty flammable, and clothes are pretty flammable. There's just no way it can be made safe :s I'm also scared of sand...

[b]22. What do you usually wear?
For ease of movement I wear soft stretchy pants and a light jacket, but I'm most comfortable in my seifuku.

23. What's one food that tempts you?
So many things *w* I haven't had a lot of different foods in my life, so I'm always open to trying new things! But I do really like pecans, specifically.

24. Am I annoying you?
"I"?? Who are you? Either way, not really.

25. Well, it's still not over!
That's fine, I don't really have anything else to do today. ^^

26. What class are you (low class, middle class, high class)?
Probably low class, since I don't live anywhere right now and I'm not from a highly-populated area.

27. How many friends do you have?
.....I think I can say I have one friend.

28. What are your thoughts on pie?
I haven't had pie, but I bet it's delicious!

30. Favorite drink?
Juices are really nice! But fresh, clean, water can't be beat.

31. What's your favorite place?
I like big libraries with a lot of manga and places to sit.

32. Are you interested in anyone~?
No.

33. That was a stupid question.
Was it? It seemed okay to me ^^

34. Would you rather swim in a lake or the ocean?
I try to avoid swimming when I can, and those both sound like terrible options. I'd like to swim in a hot spring~ Or maybe just a warm spring.

35. What's your type?
My type? I think I'd like someone who cared about me and could take care of themselves and communicate well.

36. Any fetishes?
... I don't know. But I don't think I would tell you if I did. It's definitely going a bit too far to ask something like that...

37. Seme or uke?
Do those words apply to females?? Maybe I'd be more of a neko...

38. Camping or indoors?
Indoors. I like being hidden away and knowing exactly what or who is around me.

39. Tag People!
Who would I tag?

I don't really wanna delete my account, but I never use it. It's a bit of a waste, especially since I never commission anyone X3

Ivy is watching and waiting. She was always there, but now she's made herself visible.

Well thanks. :T