When pushed to the limit of emotional pain
Two storms brew within me of fire and rain
One burns with wrath seeking targets without
The other drowns me with crippling doubt
One is hell-bent on energetic destruction
The other is consumed with moping unproductive
Caught between these forces of apathy and rage
I find my free will locked up in a cage
My only wish is that this misery ends
With the long dreamless sleep that death portends
But I lack the means sure and swift
And I don't want to leave my parents adrift
For the time being my misery continues
Without relief from all these issues

Authors note: I composed this while headings home from a shitty day at college.

December last month of the year
A time for reflection a time for fear
Days grow shorter nights get colder
As decrepit year continues to grow older
Looking on things done and undone
Remembering many hardships overcome
Looking to the future with some hope and much dread
As this year lingers on its deathbed
Last days pass quickly with little fear
Bringing an end to this poetic year

November the penultimate month of the year
When last colors of fall finally disappear
Weather switches between two extremes
Rain in abundance or cold supreme
January comes early as home heating fails
And those called to help can naught but flail
With one month to go till this years relent
My patience is exhausted, my reserves are spent

October month of Autumn's descent
When final heat of summer relents
Fools are confounded by basic geography
Switching mouth for head is height of idiocy
The pace increases with assignments a plenty
As all are consumed with worries a many
I haven't shaved since late September
An early preparation for no shave November
Politics goes insane to a dizzying degree
as all the zealots begin to reee
With few shortages of October surprises
I cannot wait till the next month rises

September month of schools quickening
The last heat of summer sickening
Gloves come off as Labor Day passes
Pace of course work increasing in classes
The Tropics swarm with Hurricanes a plenty
While the Temperates have rain storms a many
Of the course load one shall strike the hardest
And drive from students their sanity furthest
A month that for all involved is hell
Wake me up when it's over and all's well

August month of summers maturity.
With cresting heat and high humidity.
The last of summers fun comes to an end.
As all face the disruption that the semester portends.
First week is filled with chaos and flow.
As classrooms move and students come and go.
The buses are packed and the sidewalk crowded.
The former especially on the days that are clouded.
Zombies shamble about, cell phone in face.
And headphones on ears, minds without a trace.
Like January this month inspires much ire.
The hopefully subsides like Cali wild fires.

July month of summers fury
Far removed from Winters flurry
Lillies give way to Chickori on the roadside
As heat and humidity continue to rise
This infernal combination brings considerable vexation
To Children of all ages seeking relaxation
Heat and humidity sap the strength of all
As they await the arrival of fall

June

June, the month of my arrival
Of springs ending and summers revival

A month caught betwixt conflicting moods
One of content and one of gloom

Days of humidity and heat interfere
In the most carefree month of all the year

Yet long as the happy medium is found
Lazy fun and relaxation abound

As Mid-Summers Eve passes
And July’s heat masses

At the middle point of the year

May, most beautiful month of the year
When Flowers bloom and leaves reappear

Spells of heat and rain disrupt
an otherwise fantastic month
Filled with fun that weather interrupts

Near the end the pools are open
School years end with great commotion
Stage is set for summers arrival
With the end of semesters last final

April month of many showers
That eventually sire May flowers
In the meantime it cruelly reigns
With cold of March and its own rains
Rains that keep me from my argent bike
As the final assignments commence their strike
Winds howl from skies vast
Bringing cold from months long past
Thank goodness this foul weather will not last

March the month of January and May

When lion and lamb come out to play

Rash bet brackets sow financial devastation

Annoying the sensible with their vexations

The last cold of winter waxes and wanes

The final fury of inverse flames

Till April comes with its sweet rains

And winter ends its final days

February month of fewest days
Yet Suffering abounds in many ways

Days of cold and days of warmth
Days that cheating patriots mourned

Midterms come with anxiety and strife
Against this stress poor students strive
Enduring nights of sleep deprived
With spring break far away with reprieve

Only the arrival of the march lion
Will climate brighten and future widen

January Days
Cold & Dreary

January Nights
Long & Weary

January Holidays
Lacking & Few

January Snow
Improving the view

January Brown
Depressing & Sad

Let January pass quickly
So I can be glad

As some of you might have noticed, my replies for the past 4 months have been absent. Thankfully I am not dead, thought given what I have been through in that time frame, I sometimes feel like. I don’t feel comfortable going into detail about what happened, but its impact on me has left me wondering if I will ever be able to write erotic fiction again. My first priority right now is to sort through what I have left and to get my life back on course. Whether I’ll be able to write for FA, SF, or Weasyl again I still do not know. If that happens to be the case, I apologize in advance to those who have been following my writing.

3/28/14 - 56743
Days since hatching 9788

I knew it would happen sooner or later when my car spun out on a mountain road during a severe snow storm. After limping along since late November of last year, it gave out on me not far from where it spun out. The fact that it was slow in coming made the whole situation much worse than if it had been an immediate write off. While commuting 60 miles to college every week day, I was treated to the tragic spectral of my fun to drive South Korean hatch back slowly turning into a north korean tractor that looks horrible and does not work. I have a contingency plan to get a replacement, but I don't know if it will be ready for next week.

Update: Thankfully I got some good news in this front. My dad bought an 09 Accura so I will be able to drive his 04 VW which is still in very good shape.

Apparently David Cameron think it would be a good idea to ban any porn that has any subtext of rape. In other words, everything on FA that involves BDSM would possibly result in a three year prison sentence.

Here is a video on it. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ul_7AI6AdgY)

When I got a calendar for this year I decided to rename the listed holidays with names that reflect their actual nature more closely. I went with the commonly celebrated US holidays.

The first one I renamed was Memorial Day or as I like to call it Sofa Sale Day. Just as the arbitrary start of summer is a retail holiday, The arbitrary end of summer is now Mattress sale day.

The forth of July is, at least for the US, Nationalism day.

Nine Eleven is now War OF Terrorism day.

The ninth of October is Lief Ericson Day, which should be more popular then its more well known contemporary since Leif Beat Columbus by roughly five centuries.

Columbus day is now Native Genocide day.

The day before Halloween is the start of the x-mas holiday season, though that will soon be pushed back to after Mattress Sale day

Armistice Day, more commonly known as Veterans day, is now TV sale Day.

Thanksgiving is now Annoying Relatives day and the day after is Black Friday.

Finally there is Cashmass. A holiday that, like 'reality tv,' is slowly taking over every thing.

Anyways, Try to remember the good things that Labor day celebrates like, child labor laws, the five day work week, safer working conditions, the ability to form a union to arbitrate for better pay, and unemployment compensation.

MJD: 56482
July 10, 2013 – AHD 9527 : The Problem with Activist Groups

When a group of people band together in pursuit of changing the status quo, they usually start with the intent of taking actual action and the fulfillment of set goals. As the movement progresses and a substantial amount of stated goals are achieved, the group(s) often become divided between factions that are dedicated to accomplishments and factions that are dedicated to theatrics. Often factions that are more zealous and militant tend to split off as well.

The differences between the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (SPCA) and People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA). The former runs animal shelters in many countries and despite its flaws, tries to do the best it possibly can with the limited resources it receives. The later on the other hand, is shaped by substantially different goals and motives. Shelters run by PETA have the dubious distinction of killing most of the animals they take in. Instead they seem focused on the publicity of demonstrations that involve lettuce bikinis and signs that exemplify Godwin s law. Additionally their long term goal are described as total liberation for animals. This zealotry goes to the illogical extreme of wanting to keep people from having pets or even seeing eye dogs for the blind. Finally, they have known ties to the violent Animal Liberation Front, who have shown a disturbing willingness to violate the law since utopia justifies the means in their eyes.

Regretfully, the gay rights movement has fallen into this trap as well. When the modern movement was started, simply being gay was regarded as a crime and gay bashing was socially acceptable in the majority of places. In short, the movement literally had matters of life and death to fight for. The early years of the AIDS epidemic served only to strengthen this resolve though the standard arguments over courses of action started to creep in. As sodomy laws fell, AIDS became manageable rather then a death sentence, and gay bashing was met with increasing revulsion, the decrease of immediate and existential threats became an agar plate for division over goals and tactics. Unfortunately, the public face of the more recent gay rights movement has been one of corporate sponsored pride parades and PR stunts like glitter-bombing.

The dividing line between groups that are focused on actual action and groups that simply seek PA 'awareness' is difficult to discern. None the less, one should be careful when lending support, monetary or physical, to a cause. If discretion is not practiced, your support could go to ineffectual PR stunts and drum circles involving over turned buckets

MJD: 56472
Days since hatching: 9517

After having an interesting and deep line of thought, I decided that I should write things like this down instead of letting them fade into the aether of my mind only to reemerge later. This will of course not be a regularly occurring series since the flow of thoughts like this are highly unpredictable. Anyway, if you find what I write interesting, feel free to comment on it.

The Trans-formative power of the car.
It is often assumed by humans that when driving they are a separate entity from their vehicles. In practice, however, the combination of man and machine is more of a chimera then most would think. Outside of a car an individual is a mere ninety to several hundred pound intelligent ape. However when one enters a car and turns the ignition, they are suddenly transformed into a several thousand pound machine that can can travel many times faster and is capable of killing tens of thousands of people each year in the United States alone.

The anonymity that is given through driving has a significant effect as well. Unless you are right beside them and have matched speed, it is very difficult to even distinguish the occupant of the other vehicle, never mind react to the nonverbal communication that would be used face to face. For these reasons, a car becomes a macro expression of ones personality. This is often done intentionally by choice of make and model, Customization, and Tuning. However it happens unintentionally in the way that one acts as the Vehicle's brain. Ones emotions, that would show little presentation inside of the cabin, are expressed by the way that the car Accelerates, turns, brakes, and sounds. A person at ease will drive in a calm and relaxed fashion. A person that is tired or drunk will drive in a similar manner to the way that whey would walk.

However, the most intriguing expressions are of aggression and haste. When felt by the driver, the car becomes an avatar of these feelings at best and a weapon to intimidate and kill at worst. An aggressive driver will use that car as tool to enforce their dominance over others on the highway. While most will follow the generally accepted advice to steer clear of the aggressor in question, a few will take this as a personal challenge to their own ego and react in kind. The best case scenario from such a confrontation would be that one of the combatants will blink and things return to a relative normalcy. If neither side backs down, however, the situation holds the potential to escalate from aggressive posturing to a pitched battle of steel vs steel that can have disastrous consequences for the combatants and anyone who is unlucky enough to be in the vicinity.

The results of expressed haste are usually a willingness to bend or even outright break the law. When pressed for time or distance, the once understandable speed limit becomes an inconvenient suggestion that when the situation is desperate enough will be quickly abandoned. The signals that regulate traffic are subject to similar reinterpretation. A stop sign or a red light suddenly turn into a yield sign or a yellow light. The yellow light and yield sign simply cease to exist and fade into the unimportant background. At this point the old aphorism, Haste makes waste, will quickly and harshly come into play if a cop is near by, or another car goes unnoticed, or a telephone pole suddenly appears in the middle of the road.

In short, you car may not be Christine, but it still can have dangerous effects on ones life. As such it is advisable to keep ones passions in check and exercise good judgement.

Modified Julian Date (MJD) : 56453
Days Since Hatching : 9498

Well, I'll be 26 years old at 11:19 pm Pacific Daylight Time and yet I'm no closer to having a job, home, or life of my own.

Yay, (Sarcasm self-test complete)

Modified Julian Date (MJD) : 56430
Days Since Hatching: 9475

For the past few days, I've had a strange dream on my mind that I have not been able to sort out. So I am fielding this appeal for an outside opinion if you wish to share it.

The dream starts with myself living as an ex-pat over seas. While roaming the mass transit system of the city I'm living in, I meet a alluring male who is also an ex-pat. One thing leads to another and I eventually find my self at his house with his three kids.

While looking around, I make the shocking discovery that this guy and his entire dysfunctional family are a bunch of serial killers and I am their latest victim. However, I have the wherewithal to grab a combat knife and make my escape. As I tried to leave the room, the father showed up with a knife in hand. With my knife hidden from view, I asked why he had a dagger in hand. To this he said, "It's bring your dagger to work day." Not wanting to give him a chance to attack me, I struck first.

After i killed him, a relative Who was still at home entered the room and asked if I needed help. I explained how the situation was under control but the help with long term plans would be welcome. I mentioned the fight earlier and she showed me a 22 caliber pistol that was used unsuccessfully to stop a mugging. While joking about the fact the I was successful I looked away briefly and when I glanced back, I was alone in the room again. While trying to make sense of this, I heard a faint knocking noise on the door. As soon as I opened it the youngest of this crazy klan, who was about the size of a Chuckie doll, attacked me like a wolverine.

Things really start to get weird at this point. After a mortal fight, I emerged victorious only to find the older sibling moving in on me. They looked like deathly pale versions of the Pattinson and Stewart vampires and they happened to be romantic lovers. While fighting these super powered emo sibling fiances, I discovered that they are the masterminds behind this insane family and that their power comes from a black magic ritual where they killed their mother to become twitards.

I fled the house and lead them on a chase through the streets, a flea market, and a small airport while they attack me like angry ghosts. Somehow I manage to jack a large plane and my first thoughts were on leaving this crazy place. It was at that point I realized the relative I had seen earlier was a message from the dead mother telling me that I could not escape these emo ghosts. Even if I managed to get back to the country I grew up in, they would follow me with only one thought on their minds. Kill the sane person. Once that happened, they would return home and continue their insanity. I could not allow this.

So I turned the plane around and proceeded straight for the cursed house. I dived into the house at full speed to consume the terrible place in a kerosene fueled inferno. Then I woke up.



Really weird is it not.

Modified Julian Date (MJD) : 56391
Days Since Hatching : 9436

My life recently got some much needed happy with the following two events.

First I managed to get my hands on a copy of Goldeneye for the N64 after far to much time apart. Not as flashy as the new first person shooters, but lacking useless fluff like DRM, DLC, the need for a persistent internet connection, and online MP where you must spent hours futilely grinding and getting killed again and again by hard-ons who have prestiged several times and have no real life.

The other news, which also relates to the theme of the gaming industry going headfirst down the sewer is the fact that Electronic A-Holes has been voted worst company in America again. With their second golden poo in two years, it is obvious that they have not learned a damn thing from Diablo III, Mass Effect III, and Dragon Age II. I'm beginning to think that Electronic A-Holes wants to be known as a publisher that takes good franchises and then drowns them in a river with kittens.

Here's a link if you want to know more. (http://games.yahoo.com/blogs/plugge.....170932002.html)

Modified Julian Date (MJD) : 56339
Days Since Hatching : 9384

While I still intend to upload my writings to Fur Affinity and SoFurry, I have decided to get a Weasyl account to follow several of the artists I am watching there and to hopefully find new fans for my work. It will also give me an excuse to go through my old work and edit it before posting. Additionally I hope it will allow me to re-live some of my better past memories.

Here is the url if you want to see it. (https://www.weasyl.com/profile/whitecrow)

I happened on this YouTube video concerning something that is simultaneously funny and tragic about a church in Virginia that thinks being around and stroking horses will turn you straight. I'll post a link below. To anti-gay people and organizations, All I have to say is give up already. Your desperation is making you look more ridiculous every year. First hitting pillows with a tennis racket while shouting 'mom' repeatedly, then squeezing oranges to get your 'masculinity' back, and now going bareback with a horse.

(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LuCreKoi7go)

Since I have not seen any one else mention this I might as well give the true reason for the season. Happy Sol Invictus, birth of the unconquered sun. After all the original reason for all the celebrating that happens around the winter solstice in western culture is the fact that the sun will not disappear, at least not with in our lifetimes, and that the wonderful months of spring are soon to come.

So I say Again Happy Sol Invictus