I have finished my quilt for the charity raffle. It looks great and I still need to make the display frame for it. But that project, the quilt, is out of the way. Also, the banner for the charity Brigade is all set. We will try something new at MFM this year... well, new for MFM anyway. And I hope it works really well, so if you are going, keep your eye out for it.

So, getting my tails finished, cleaning up some artwork, working on my script for the show, though I may do something totally new for MFM this year. Playing this one by ear. Making some special presents now...

And trying to crank out a piece of art for the charity auction if time allows.

I really do a LOT for MFM! Yay!

So, exhausted...

So, Highlights: Hanging with Maximus and Tonka, being pounced by MAximus, Bowling in suit, Meeting Albi Azul and Matsi, Meeting Fox Amoore, KP, Blitz, Kage, Stitch, Genisisw, Ripner, Jbadger, and a LOT OF OTHERS!!!!!

And more than just meeting, hanging out with all of them!!!

Cosmic, Wish I had been able to spend more time with you.

Other highlights, taking my usual surplus of tails, (which I do every con and which I normally give away for free) and I took said tails and actually sold them... after a fashion. I gave them to the charity coordinators and if you made a donation, you got a tail! I am sorry BTW, I cannot remember his name! He was sitting at the volunteer table, and for some reason, I keep thinking his name is Skittles or Snickers, (Edit: his name was Skippy. Thanks Cosmik!) and yet I know it is Neither! That's what happens with a Candy theme...

I got to spend some great time with Blitz this year. I think he enjoyed my company as much as I enjoyed his!

I was able to do a show, and this time in front of a completely new audience. At least at first until some of the later crowd got in. I had a LOT of fun.

I do not know what plans will be for next year. I do not think I am going next year. But it is too early to tell.

Also got some photos of my suit done! So may post a couple so I have some nice ones of my suit on my fa.

Also, the vibrating paws seemed to be a big Hit.

OH YEAH!!
Special Note:

Looking for colorists! I have a lot of art that is sitting incomplete, because I am not the best colorist in the world, and am now looking for folks who would be interested in coloring works for placing on the site. I actually have one I need to post which should go up next week when I have time. But if you are interested, contact me!

So, I've been pretty busy lately getting ready for two upcoming cons. Normally they are spaced out by more than a few months, but since I am going to both Megaplex and MFM this year I'm scrambling to get stuff done. The new job has me working hours which has me busy except for a few days each week which are then devoted to the various con projects, including charity artwork, the quilt, and prep for my shows.

At the moment, I've had a stressful day. I did finally finish the two entries to the MFM t-shirt contest. But I won't post those until after MFM. I finished three charity drawings for the various auctions and I was supposed to start on the Quilt today. But a friend who came over this weekend, kind of got stuck here an extra night due to car trouble. So I had to give him a ride home. The ride to his place was uneventful...

The ride back however, was right out of one of my stories... so much so... it IS one now!

So I am driving along I-10 heading back home when I come up behind a truck. In the back is a few of those crane type skill games. I say crane type, because I didn't see the hooks. But while I was contemplating passing this truck the panel on one of the machines slides open. and then tilts back towards me as if the universe was watching very carefully and giggling all the while. Now you have to imagine the next few seconds very carefully. My car is suddenly bombarded with cute plush animals bouncing on the road, hitting my hood, slamming into my windshield and flying away a moment later. I swear I heard one make a squeeker noise. And mixed in with the plushies was my favorite thing int he world... Rubber ducks.

Yes... Rubber Duckies were quite literally bouncing off my windshield. And in a moment of both confusion and surprise I reacted instinctively and turned on my windshield wipers...

For those that are looking for the visual, yes the duck would hit my windshield and then get batted away by my wipers.

Which is why... I had to get new wipers tonight... It actually dented one pretty bad. But in all fairness they were old and needed replacement anyway.

So I get around the truck after my plush/duck shower and drive off. About ten minutes later I have a mild blowout and am forced to the shoulder to change my tire. For the record, there was no evidence the ducks caused the flat... I had old tires... But I did look for a stray beak or flipper just in case. I keep a full sized spare for just such an occasion and popped it on and drove home. Went tot he store to get the new wipers, replaced them and will get new tires tomorrow.

And will be adding this to my show.

In addition to all this I discovered my dieting and exercise is working. I weigh less, My shoulders and arms are bigger, my waist line is smaller! Woo Hoo! Right?

Well... This being me... there is a catch. I seem to be shrinking. I have been 5' 8" for a LONG time and I am very sure of this given how short I've been most my life. Well... measured recently and I somehow lost TWO inches! I'm shrinking! I'm already short enough as it is universe! The only plus side to this I can see is if Maximums puts me on his back again, I'll be able to ride longer because I'll weigh less. :)

So last night was the first party/meet I've held since my depression and anxiety attacks took over my life. I stopped hosting the events because I needed a break and because I needed to get control. Somehow with my anxiety issues and the depression I was so overwhelmed by groups of more than two that I'd begin to loose control, feeling helpless, lost and getting into dark spaces in my own mind. I've since been getting help to deal with these issues and the new techniques are working.

Last night was a test. A small get together of select friends and locals whom I know very well. End result was a dramaless event with decent and yet easy to manage foods and drinks. We sat around tables and drew (as it was an art jam), painted, dyed eggs, laughed, talked and had fun. It was the kind of meet I used to have before they got so big they got out of control. And I loved it. I didn't have an anxiety issue once. Not one. It felt like old times while being new.

It was a shame so many people missed it. But now that I have a formula that seems to be working, we'll slowly expand on it until we find one that works best for us. I'm exhausted and yet so charged! I've only slept a couple of hours because I'm just so ramped up.

It's the feeling I get at cons. I missed this... a Lot. And not just because it's been a while since I had one of these meets. But even when I was having meets... they didn't leaving me feeling this positive. They left me run down, upset, depressed, and drained emotionally and physically. Part of that was the depression I was trapped in for almost 3 years. Part of it was how we managed the meets. Part of that was expectations I put on myself regarding the events. New perspective has helped correct some bad habits that were hurting myself.

I'm not exactly back in the saddle as they say, but I'm definitely riding again.

So the past few weeks have been hectic, and this week in particular has been intense! First off, I walk to work on a daily basis, good exercise and it's close. Also saves a ton on gas. Only down side is some days I have to be at work at 6am. So walking when it's dark out. That in and of itself doesn't bother me. Some good decent light all around. Well one morning recently I am walking to work and it's dark and all. I pass this one area and stop as I suddenly notice a shadow move not more than a few feet from me. At first I am thinking it's a dog, not more than 6 feet from the sidewalk. I didn't even see it until I was practically beside it and right as walk up beside it, the shadow moves and two vertical white stripes come into view.

I quickly turn my head so I'm not looking at what is now apparently a SKUNK, just in case it sprays me, and just keep walking. I grew up in the country, I know what this means. I can't run or it'd spray out of reflex. I don't dare stop for the same reason. So all I can do is just keep walking at my same pace and pray for the best.

All I could think of was how I was going to explain that one to work. Because I WOULD be calling in. There would be no way they'd even let me work after that. But fortunately, the skunk moved on right after I kept walking and nothing happened, save my heart developed an intimate relationship with my adam's apple.

So as I said, BUSY week. Crazy week. Too much going on. One thing right after another until I have reached now... which is totally exhausted. Work, Social things, more work, dinner with family, more work, my brother gets engaged and invites me to dinner so I'll be the first to know, even more work, my brother (same one) has trouble with picking up his kids from his ex, MORE work, And in the middle of ALL of that, the Opera.

Now, I'm not an opera snob, or even an opera buff, but I love music, and I love art in all its forms. Opera and Ballet are just another form of artistic expression and I love seeing how things are done. Well this opera was a BIG one. And I do mean BIG. It's Wagner's (pronounced Vagner, for those who do not know.) 'The Ring' Series. To put it in perspective for those who do not know, this is one of the more commonly quoted operas when it comes to music. Has the famous 'Ride of the Valkyries' piece in it. It's so big it is to my knowledge the only opera that has Four parts. Not four acts... Four parts. Over 8 hours of opera! Well Houston has never performed the Ring series. This is so big they are doing it in segments, one part a year. Well just this week, we went and saw the first Part, Das Rhinegold. The music is amazing, beautiful and powerful.

But with any Opera, there are two parts. The music which is often straightforward and left as the original writer intended. Then the Production which is open to interpretation and often is. This is a Nordic based opera. Featuring Norse gods like Thor, Odin, Loki, etc... I was half expecting armor and chainmail. What I got was almost surreal.

Ever see Family Guy, when Peter takes over his Wife's production of a play she wanted to do? He starts writing in robots and mechs and lasers and special effects? This was sort of like that. The back ground was this massive video screen which played a variety of images, sometimes pretty, sometimes surreal, and sometimes creepy. The giant golden baby fetus was in particular... disturbing. I have my theories on the meaning but was so jarred by it I felt like I was too busy focusing on it to notice what was going one. Then the giants showed up. Like a scene from an anime, they walk in as giant Mechs! I know they are giants so I guess this works, but there are these two guys walking in with these massive pseudo animatronic devices they are literally strapped into. Okay... all that I got. Baby was innocence being corrupted, the giants were well... giants, the gods were on these catapult looking things so they could be lifted and lowered to symbolize their godliness...

But I lost it when Loki showed up. Up until this point I could buy into it. But Loki pops up and... well he doesn't walk onto stage, he DRIVES onto stage on a freaking SEGWAY! Imagine this visual folks!!!

LOKI on a SEGWAY!

And not just on a segway, but he came equipped with TURN SIGNALS! On his arms were these rows of lights that were also on his back, so that whenever he faces the crowd on his little two wheeler I kept expecting one of them to start blinking before he merged with TRAFFIC! And when he was facing away it was worse, because the lights on his back, about where his shoulders were, were the same. I saw him turn and zip away from the audience and when he slowed down, I half expected them to get brighter as he hit the brakes!

I couldn't focus anymore. All I could do was watch as Loki zipped around here and there, singing and performing as he should on a modern two wheeled contraption. Up until this point the tech had a purpose. The segway's point was lost on me. I was so distracted by it, I had to close my eyes to focus on the music again.

Don't get me wrong, it was an amazing production and the music was astounding and captivating. It's just that the visuals were very discordant to me and kept distracting me from the story and music.

That and being able to say the phrase I saw LOKI on a Segway!!! Just all I can focus on for now. Loki with turn signals on a segway...

Someone please draw that!

So... it's that time again, rumor control.

However, this one is a little different from my norm. It has come to my attention that there is a lot of speculation going on regarding my activities since November. This is not surprising to me. I have always been very involved with the local furry groups so suddenly stopping the furmeets I usually host would of course bring out the curious.

The problem isn't the curiosity... it's that after all this time... Only TWO people have actually asked me what was going on. Don't get confused though. I'm not concerned how many people asked as much as how many are still speculating and have Never asked me.

I'm approachable. I don't have a host of secrets I'm keeping locked away. I mean for crying out loud, I stand up in front of people and tell stories about all the silly, strange, bizarre things that happen to me and laugh with them about those events.

So this message is for the furs who are wondering what's going on...

Please... JUST ASK ME!

Just because I don't post the stuff publicly doesn't mean it's a secret, I just prefer to hand out the details of my life myself... seeing as how it's MY life. :)

Email, notes, whatever, just feel free to ask. It's better than hearing all these rumors which are way, WAY off.

So here are some of the rumors that have been popping up since my break...

1. Rumor: I had a major break up and am no longer with my husbands. Reality: Not true... or even remotely close. Still together, still mates.

2. Rumor: I've been banned from some of the local meets. Reality: If I have, no one bothered to tell me.

The truth is, I have a new job which started in November, and I now work weekends which just so happens to be the number one time when folks plan meets. So I don't always find out in enough advance to ask off.

3. Rumor: I have two penises. (Also) I have three testicles. Reality: Who are all these people speculating about the structure of my genitalia?! And why, especially given the nature of social media these days, aren't they just asking for pictures of it like everyone else? Actually, in all fairness... I think the folks asking these questions are playing up the whole wierdness of the rumor about me supposedly being a hermaphrodite... Well, if you're making rumors to give me material for my show, don't bother. Life has that covered for me. No, really, it is more than capable of giving me material. Not to mention if folks are looking for credits for starting a rumor that gets mentioned in my show, just remember, I don't issue credits in my shows. :P

Which brings me to the point of this: If you wnat to know what's going on, just ask me. If there is an expert on me out there... it's probably me, so go to the source! And if you really want to know what my genitals look like... I'd love some new artwork... maybe a trade? :D

I was not able to make TFF because of my new job, but things are now set and in place. I now will be attending Megaplex and MFM this year. And it looks as if I'll be doing a show at each of them!

I'm jealous as hell of everyone who made TFF this year as I missed out but hopefully I cna make up for it.

So... it's Valentine's day right? And me and my mate went out for a romantic dinner, we came home, we were alone in a dimly lit home and one thing began to lead to another and some nice, hot and heavy petting was going on with the full and clear intention of evolving into something best related on online porn sites. But that's not a surprise right? Lots of couples getting romantic right?

Timing is everything. We are in the midst of the hot and heavy when the doorbell rings. And at this time of night that is ODD. So we peek out to find out what is going on and as soon as we do, (THANK the STARS the house was dimly lit!) we hear someone begin singing "Can you feel the love tonight."

It's the KIDS!!! And their Kids! The kids had come over and brought the grandkids and were serenading us THAT song all in the Valentines Day spirit!

So we are trying to find robes, as we're not near clothes and let's face it... a ROBE when in the middle of the hot and heavies is not a very concealing piece of clothing! And pants wouldn't have been much better. So it's dash and dress and then be civil and make up the appropriate lie as to why it took so long to answer the damn door! Because we sure as hell were not telling the truth!

So a little while later and they leave for the night and we are sitting there thinking why did they pick THAT song!?

So, it's late... okay, it's nighttime. Mates went to bed and I'm looking out the back window. I see a shadow at the pool. So, I'm doing my usual nighttime routine of doodling in my sketchbook and such when the shadow jumps into the pool. So I get up to investigate. I open the back door, turn on the lights and scare the hell out of the poor raccoon who was just taking a quick dip. He/she goes running off over the fence. We've had critters fall in by accident before. So, I wanted to make sure whatever was in could get out.

That in and of itself wasn't the problem. The problem was as I was staring at raccoon butt hightailing it over our fence, something swoops out of the air, dives down right in front of me, skims the pool's surface and pulls up right in front of me, and I MEAN RIGHT in front of me! The crazy kamikaze bat nearly scrapes off my nose as it pulls up and narrowly misses slamming into my FACE!!!

And I mean what the hell?! I know the bats in this area are not that BIG, but maybe it was proximity, or not but the blasted thing looking like I was buzzed by an EAGLE! Why is it when you're startled... things always appear bigger than they are supposed to be? And why in all the bloody places on the PLANET this bat could have flown it picked the one spot DIRECTLY in front of my FACE?!?!

And then all was quiet. Raccoon was gone. Bat was gone and the only noise to be heard was me... standing next to our pool... making noises that would have made me look like an escapee from an insane asylum...

THANKS UNIVERSE!

Nice to know your still providing me with choice material for my SHOWS!!! Glad to know my budding career as a storyteller is not going to lack for fresh and original anecdotes to ADD!

It's because I was born on Friday the 13th, isn't it?

I don't normally make resolutions. I find they can be a little self defeating if you cannot live up to them... But I've been reading a lot recently... and I mean a LOT on some interesting studies coming from universities and scientific communities and given what I read... I realized I needed to do a few things more in my life.

So here are my resolutions to do more this year.

1. Eat more bananas and citrus. (not counting banana bread) :)

2. Eat more green vegetables. Just to spice things up.

3. Daily stretches and Kata exercises to help flexibility, and bloodflow. I'm not a young pup anymore. I'm not ancient either so don't start with that graymuzzle crap. :)

4. Laugh more. Good for depression.

5. Listen to more music. Sit down with my friends and listen to what they are listening to so I can discover new music I am missing.

6. Play more video games that are NOT touch games. Video games improve cognition, multitasking skills, problem solving and mental strength. Touch games do NOT. :P So... I need to get back into console games.

7. Dance more. Overall good exercise and great aide with depression.

8. Fursuit more. I used to suit fundraisers and events at least a dozen times a year outside of cons. It's immersion, role-play, fantasy fun and a little escapism is a good thing now and again. And helping children smile is ALWAYS worth it.

9. Live more. Stop seeing the current circumstances of my life as an obstacle to overcome but just another step on what has already been an amazing road. Plan for tomorrow instead of fearing it.

10. Love more. Stop being afraid to tell others how you feel for them and enjoy the fact they are simply in your life. Love the moment and the fact they are a part of it.

So, yeah... a note to myself... put here where I can see it when I log in for a while. I've been dealing with depression and have had a not so great day today, but had some minor revelations while reading scientific journals... So here are my resolutions for this year and hopefully for my life.

If you read and want to use, go for it. This one is mostly for myself.

Three part journal: Feel free to skip to part most relevant to you.

First: Explanation about my last post.
I am having problems. I have no intention of going into detail in public. My friends can feel free to ask. Some already know. I AM getting help. Some major changes in my life over the past several months are contributing factors for all of this, but there is more. As a result, additional stresses, like hosting meets and big projects need to be put on hold until I am better.

This is why a lot of people did not get invited to the family's New Year's party. I wasn't there. I was working the whole damn time and sleeping when others were partying. This does not make for a happy wolf. Having to go to bed while others are clearly enjoying themselves. So if you didn't get invited, it's not because I didn't like you. I literally had no say on the matter, and truthfully, I was under more than a LOT of pressure from other things to even begin to try.

So, I will be ending furmeets for the foreseeable future until I'm better.

Second: Rumors, Rumor control, and A disturbing but interesting observation.
As is common in my life, I am fielding rumors again. So here we go with Rumor control.

First one on the block, is this one. I am not broke and destitute. I am more surprised by how some people are drawing this conclusion because we served, *gasp* generic sodas at the last meet than anything else. Now, it IS true that I was jobless for a while. I had quit one job this summer, had a temp one in Oct and Nov. And am currently employed now. So I am not unemployed. I'm not rolling in money. But I'm not hurting. But all of this speculation about my life has got me thinking.


Second, now this is a prize winner, worthy of being mocked in a future show. It started a few months back. I started getting rather personal emails and notes asking me questions, vague at first, but progressively bolder, asking questions about the structure of my genitals. Yeah.... it was weird. And given I was a little surprised by the nature of the questions, I was deliberately vague. And then a few weeks back, someone finally had the balls to flat ask me what he was hinting at and thus I have finally learned the nature of the rumor. So here it is folks.

NO. I am not a hermaphrodite. I am a guy. I do not have any female parts at ALL.

I mean really.... where do they come up with this crap, huh? I figured out from talking to this guy that he thought that the other Wielder artist was in fact me as well. So yeah... I can't even sort this one...

Now an observation. This was made by a non furry, who has known me for years. So he is a fur friendly person. He said the following to me when I mentioned the two rumors. "Furries are perhaps the most wonderful, most creative people I know. And the most dangerous." At first I didn't know what he meant, then he explained. Furries, not all, but a LOT more than just some, are very BAD about talking about EVERYTHING. Rumors, gossip, true, false, it doesn't matter. It's as if many of the people who do this sort of thing do not understand, sometimes, you have to know when to keep your mouth shut. And in this day and age, this includes facebook, twitter, blogs, and ANY social media or communication. It's not the fact that the rumors exist... it's the fact that they are being talked about enough that they make their way back to me. They really shouldn't. At some point someone should step up and say "So? What does that have to do with anything?"

I have people debating my death, my sexuality, my use of generic sodas, and whether I have a peak or a valley or both. But... I don't hear people discussing my artwork, my themes, or involvement with the fandom and community.

I think it's time the fandom took a hard look at itself and said 'time to grow up a bit'. But that may be asking a bit much from some people. Then again, maybe the fandom will surprise me. That would be amazing. (No sarcasm. I mean this.) I'd love to see the fandom revert to its tightly knitted, supportive network again.

Finally, a Story.

So I'm driving around recently and someone commented about the radio station on in my car. He complimented it. And I realized I didn't know how to explain how the station was on so I decided to just tell it like it is. My car is a PT Cruiser. And for the past few years the radio has been kind of glitchy. I turn off the radio if I want quiet and yet when I start the car the radio will turn back one, often changing stations to one of the local ones. A hard rock/alternative style station. The odd part is that station is NOT one of the programmed stations on the radio, though I don't mind the music sometimes. I'm pretty eclectic on my music. So My car likes to turn on the radio and change the station on its own. So when I explained this to my passenger, he said, 'Huh, wouldn't have figured a Cruiser would like this style of music.' :)

So... I guess the P in PT Cruiser stands for possessed. :)

Beware. Personal drama. And this time it's all on me.

To those that were able to make it, I am sorry for what happened this past weekend. A lot of people I know will only know that something was clearly wrong during the party. I owe them an explanation. But truth is... I don't have one. It's hard to explain what is happening to me right now. I have problems, and I am getting help to deal with them. They contributed to a sort of melt down that caused me to loose control and let's face it... this past weekend was not one of my shining moments.

To those that came and were forced to see me that way, I am sorry.

To those who were unable to make it. I am relieved you didn't have to witness it. But I did miss your presence.

To those that did not get the invite... PLEASE don't take it personally though that may sound shallow via this method. I never got everyone's emails... and even those I had... I never finished typing. Life has been throwing me curves. and I've been missing. I will try and develop a better system for the invites. Many people seemed to have missed theirs through one means or another.

But I have some things I need to deal with before I'll host another get together. I know a journal is a terrible way of disseminating information like this, but I simply can't do it another way right now. If you know someone this event affected, please let them know.

I really am sorry.

That I actually thought would be fun to do.

I sometimes answer questions posed to me and thought, eh, what's another one?

So here goes.

1. Why did you join FurAffinity?
At the time I had been on Y-Gallery before the big anti-furry purge. Then needed a new place to submit art for those who actually liked to look at my stuff. FA fit the bill.

2. What does your username have to do with you?
The name Wielder comes from an old friend back in College who dubbed me the Word Wielder. Because he suggested that I used words the same way some people used weapons. I took on the pseudonym WolF Wielder in 1993 when I began publishing short stories and artwork. I eventually turned it to Wielder13 when getting online because just Wielder was usually taken. Though I still only use the name Wielder

3. What is your current avatar of?
A drawing of my character WolF by Flatrat, in what I consider THE sexiest image of my character.

4. How many watchers do you have, and how many do you watch?
780 Watchers - 733 watched

5. Do you have more than one account?
Yes: https://www.furaffinity.net/user/wielder13arch/ for older works.

6. Name 3 of your favorite artists on FA.
Borni, http://www.furaffinity.net/user/borni/
Flatrat, http://www.furaffinity.net/user/flatrat/
K-9, http://www.furaffinity.net/user/k-9/

7. What artist do you admire because of their personality?
Borni. Sweet, kind, sympathetic and nice enough to let you call him with concerns.

8. Do you comment, fave, or both?
Both, though I rarely fav. For me Favs are Favorites. If I fav something I REALLY like it. And I comment when a piece really grabs my attention.

9. What do you typically post on FA?
Mostly furry porn. But mostly because that's what I enjoy drawing. I draw for fun, so I draw what I like.

10.What's your favorite submission in your gallery?
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/11736135/

11. What are the things you wish you could draw better?
Everything. I always want to get better. No matter the subject or medium.

12. How many hours a day do you spend on FA?
Don't know. Some days... minutes... others a few hours.

13. Are you a fast, slow, or medium typer?
Medium

14. What is the most annoying thing people ask you?
"I thought you were dead?"

15. What is the most annoying/offending comment you've received?
Well... fair warning... this is nasty. But it is what I got via email some years back. Parenthesis mark where I edit the vulgarities out with letters to be less crude. "You guys are sick (MFs). If you have nothing better to do than sit around and draw animals licking each other’s penises, you must be really ugly if you cant get anything and have to satisfy your self with pictures of dog penises. You’re a sick (F). I hope your mother is proud…I wouldn’t be surprised if you have sexual fantasies about her to. You guys are real (AHs)." Apparently he thinks I am a personal group or something, perhaps a collective like the Borg. Incidentally, my Mom read this and asked me if I wanted her to kick his A. My mom was actually quite proud of my being a furry and being a furry artist. And yes, she knew about the Pron. She saw it as nothing more than a different form of art.

16. What/who inspires you?
My mother (Rest in Peace), and people who ask intelligent questions with a genuine desire to learn new things.

So, new computer is up and running and with it some new software for doing art stuff. Downside, I'm having to learn new art software as my old stuff which has served me well for many years is now too outdated to operate on this PC. And the new stuff had to come from a different company as I couldn't afford the high end stuff. Downside is that it is slowing me down with cleaning and touching up stuff. The plus side is it is till better than what I WAS doing which was nothing!

On top of that I was submitting some art and had one of those holy crap moments! I discovered the furry fandom back in 1993. 20 years ago. Back during my first year in college. However, before I found out about the fandom, I had already started to explore furry artwork. It was rough and desperate. And then With my discovery of furry in general everything changed. Over the years I went from desperately doodly furry stuff on the back of my History notes to drawing on paper and eventually submitting online.

After 20 years, I'm still here, still drawing what I enjoy and still sharing it with those people who enjoy it. That's quite a thing to realize for oneself. That I'm still doing it and I still ENJOY it! :) So I put together a little retrospective a sort of sampler to show what two decades did to me. http://www.furaffinity.net/view/11736296/

And after I posted it I realized that I had unintentionally included an underwear pic in each sample. Boy I have a bad underwear fetish. :P

So now I find myself wondering, what will 2023 be like?

So, for the past few weeks I have been fighting a bad case of depression. One a bit worse than my usual slight bouts, but hardly what you'd call severe. It's led to some interesting dreams though...

Anyway, I was planning to start posting some artwork, but I can't. My computer, which is 7 years old and has been updated a few times is finally nearing the end of its life. Things are no longer functioning and such. While I can still get online and thankfully type, my scanner no longer works right as far as the data transfer is concerned and I cannot seem to save the scans anyway.

However I have a new computer being built and should have a running PC within the next few weeks. Which means there may be a smidge of an art flood at that time. Once I get new graphics software. My Photoshop is so terribly outdated it isn't funny.

So look to the horizon and be patient. Art is on the way.

So here we are, back from the con. It was both exhausting and one of the most fun cons I have had in a long time.

Highlights:
1. Being dragged up on stage so Tyger Cowboy can humiliate me.
2. Being the GOH in general and having so many people come up to me to both thank and congratulate me was truly amazing and so validating. I have been involved with the fandom since 93, and yet, with a few exceptions have felt fairly invisible in the fandom until fairly recently. So it was very VERY nice to receive that level of validation. Truly amazing for me.
3. Maximus' bareback ride! http://www.furaffinity.net/user/maximus-ursus/ When the big blue bear and I met I admit, I was intimidated. I both love bigger guys and feel terribly shy around them, but I was in fursuit and when he hugged me I think I surprised him just as much when he, like so many others at the con found out that my WolF suit vibrates. And for you pervs out there, it'she paws that vibrate. So a few fun hugs later the big guy picked me up and put me on his back like a plush backpack and started walking around with me which was so cool for me. I was like a little kid again, delighted in the phenomenal experience of being tall for once. I was like, "So this is what it's like to be a tall person!" And "Look! I can see the TOPS of people's heads for once!" So, yeah, like a kid. But I had a great time. And when he and my mate we talking about my joining the Predators, I got all shy and bashful again...
4. One of the most amazing things happened Saturday right before the parade. My mate who was not going to the con showed up! He and my other husband had conspired in secret for him to take the bus and show up. So there he was and we got to spend the rest of the weekend together.
5. Misadventures with Paddlefoot. She had run up behind me and slapped me on the ass, so I reached over and picked her up and slung her over my shoulder. It is at this moment she said a memorable statement, "Oh my god! His hands are vibrating my ass!" I was in fursuit with withe vibrating paws. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m-hvV7T-_fg (1:12 into the video is when she starts this.)
6. Puppet singalong with Rhubarb. I brought Happy Two Feathers out for his debut performance this year while Rhubarb was taking requests for an impromptu performance and got to do a little sing along with Happy.
7. Having to threaten to motorboat Dingo to get certain others to quit teasing me about my touching her boobs.

Most of this stuff will likely end up on youtube soon. :)

Other highlights which will get added to in detail later... The art jam, the kink round table, closing ceremonies, the quilt and auction item successes, the constant hugs and happy warm feelings, and the overall feeling of coming home again for a long weekend with my extended furry family.

I love this con.

Only down side: seeing two people I like and admire and consider as friends arguing with each other. I hope they didn't take offense to my leaving, but I just can't sit and watch something like that, it tears me up. And I won't get in the middle of things I do not understand or am required to take sides on. I hope they hold no ill will for me for my hasty retreat.

YAY!

And wow! What a week! My husband just got home a few minutes ago and is out the door already. Turns out there is a crisis with his father and much to my utter dislike he dropped the phase I feared hearing since this all started weeks ago.

"I might not be going with you to MFM."

Sigh...

He literally won't know until tomorrow. So... It may just be me and my other husband. (Boy that sounds weird saying it like that) But who knows, he may be able to resolve this tonight. Which means he will get to go.

So tonight, more packing.

And I can eat hard and crunchy food again! YAY! And I just saw a cat breakdancing next to our pool... It's not even our cat. We don't have a cat. I can't even get normal Visiting animals. Oh... that makes sense. He's not breakdancing... a Squirrel is throwing nuts at him. And has REALLY good aim it would seem...

Ah, Nature really is better than television.

EDIT:
*******

My husband just got in. He isn't going. This crap with his father hit the proverbial fan and it messed up our plans. For those who are concerned, the matter is complicated and VERY hard to explain without sounding like a script from the Jerry Springer show, but suffice it to say, while a part of me positively RAILS at anyone offering sympathies towards the man that somehow sired my husband, I do appreciate the sentiment.

But trust me... if you met the guy, your only sympathies would be for my husband who is struggling to attain sainthood for putting up with that man.

Anyway... it'll just be my other husband, Aqualaboy and myself this year it seems. On the plus side, we can get there earlier.

Dentist yesterday for work on my teeth.

Pest control today for a surprise bee hive on our house.

Two days left until MFM.

How my mates are dealing with me this week is anyone's guess. I am all over the place. Packing, last minute art work for the con, props, puppets, fursuits, and then, if I remember, my clothes...

I have this horrible fear that if I don't get my head in order soon, I'll be wearing my fursuit all convention just because it's all I remember to pack. :)

I am so very excited that words do not really do this justice. This is my tenth MFM, and getting to be the Guest of Honor has me positively weirder than normal. Wolfsangel has been dealing with my odd mood swings too. How I ever got so lucky as to have the people in my life that I do, I will never know, but the fact that I haven't scared them away speaks volumes of their character in ways words will never achieve.

Okay... Advertising should be focused on those it best applies to but really?

I am a gay man with two husbands. Our litany of lifestyle choices being what they are, there is no reason for this.

To the cosmic powers that be, sending us a Victoria's Secret catalog is a joke. At least two of the men in this hous have boobphobia.

But it was funny. This marks a failure in advertising.

As the date comes closer and closer at any moment, I am totally going to loose it. I still have a few things left to get ready for the con, but not much. And yet I am already bubbling with excitement. I am barely resisting the urge to start packing...

Yeah... I do pack early.

Not looking forward tot he dentist either...

And it's time to get a new computer. yay....


I need to go pick up chocolate too! I need to have my candy bar stash fully loaded for the con.

So... haven't been in years. But went tot he dentist to fix what looked like a chip. Discovered I have "soft" teeth. Dentist was actually impressed they were in as good of shape as they were...

But now have to have some dental work done... RIGHT before MFM! Yay. Oh well. Anyway, I'm down about this as I am still hunting for a job and I may have to use the money I had saved for a new computer for the dental work.

Still, all things considered, it could be much worse, and I'm still having lots of positives to look forward to this year, especially in a month. It's almost here! I am so excited!

MFM!

While my friends make it to cons, I am still at home playing catch up. But in all fairness... while I was galavanting around Europe, they were home doing the usual things. So it evens out, though I really wish I could be at Megaplex this weekend.

Still, At least I am getting a lot of work done. I finished the gift image for the MFM Supersponsors. I finished the Props for the Match Game. I finished HALF the weeding I have to do. :-P

But last night I also finished this year's Raffle item for MFM.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/995917.....00/9366185397/

I hope this is the correct link. I have weird luck with Flickr. But then again, when DON'T I?

So tonight is a night off, relaxing. Then tomorrow I start work on my show and some more home projects.

I'm really starting to feel good again after a mild depression hit a few days ago. And the work makes me feel accomplished. Though... as MFM is getting closer, Tyger Cowboy is sending me emails with vague hints and slightly terrifying laughter from whatever it is he is planning for me. :)

Well, I am now back int he states. Yay! Traveling is fun, but a whole month takes it out of you. I had originally planned to spend a few days decompressing and relaxing and recovering from the jet lag. Then start up the artwork again.

That will have to be rethought now. :) With the news about being MFM's Guest of honor, I have a drawing I want to crank out as a thank you that expresses how much I feel about that particular convention. I also have lost to do for the charity event and such. So the next few weeks will be devoted to all of that. And of course also cranking out the charity items which will be hand made.

And if time, the repair of a puppet I want to bring as well as repairs to my fursuit head's jaw.

So... don't expect any artwork for a while. Sorry about that, but as soon as I get this all caught up I can get back to some new work.

BTW, had a weird nightmare. Which is odd given I do not normally have nightmares. In this dream I would open doors and 50, and this is important... FIFTY little kittens would run through the door. Small little puff balls of adorable cuteness... So where is the nightmare part? Well have you ever imagined fifty kittens doing what ONE kitten normally does, only in unison!? That's 50 kittens running up your leg at once. 50 kittens climbing the curtain, dashing into the kitchen while you are carrying food, climbing onto your lap, and yes... even purring in unison. FIFTY kittens purring looses its charm if it is all happening by your head. And good luck trying to push the little adorable fluff balls off... they're kittens so they're CUTE!

And what woke me up from this unique horror experience? 50 kittens pouncing my toes while I was sleeping.

Even my dreams are utterly bizarre.

Well it is official! I got the news and I am this year's Guest of Honor at MFM this year! I am currently in Eindhoven with a friend as part of a European vacation. That's the reason the art got quiet a few weeks back. But right now I have Internet and decided to let everyone who reads this knowthe news. I admit, knowing Tyger Cowboy the way I do I was worried it was a prank. Then I realized it wasn't and now I am REALLY worried. :)

All things considered, I am both honored and totally blown away by this news. I literally had to keep rereadingthe email to make sure I hadn't imagined it. Given the news I will be devoting my remaining summer time to preparing some special items for MFM, so the art hiatus will continue for a while. In theean time if you are going to MFM, I hope to see you there.

And to those who voted for me for the GOH, thank you so very much!

For those that have been enjoying the flow of art recently, be prepared for a (hopefully) small drought. I have obligations and life stuff coming up that will be taking up some time. As in weeks. So the art will dry up until then.

It's nothing negative or anything like that, and it should actually be fun.

But it does mean I'll be letting go on the art postings for that time. I hope everyone has enjoyed what they have seen so far. And I hope to have more soon.