So, been drawing a lot lately for me. I've been depressed and such and it's been helping.

Mostly I've been doing furry art, but I've done some other stuff too.

So in the past 8 days, I've done 17 images. All posted on this account, one in scraps.

So, at the very least I have been productive. But tonight is movie night. Saw Oz and Iron Man recently, both VERY good movies and well worth watching. I think we are watching GI Joe tonight.

Been busy drawing and such. Trying to make and post at least one image a day for a while. See how it goes. It's been helping with the depression. And it's good exercise for mind.

So that's why there's been a lot of artwork lately.

After all this time, it FINALLY HAPPENED!!!!

An end to the arm pain? Getting paid lots of money for art? Skydiving with Charlie Sheen? (Thanks a lot, miakoda~. Never gonna get that out of my head!)

NO. None of that. No, this is something much cooler... at least to me.

I've finally flipped.

And for all you sarcastic people out there going, 'yeah, but you did that years ago...', that's not what I mean.

What I mean is I've finally flipped the numbers on watches vs. watching. For years I have been watching more people on FA than were watching me. Well today that changed. the numbers have just flipped and I am now, for the first time, being watched by more people than I am watching.

Okay, I admit, this is probably something that is only cool to me, but as the numbers have been slowly increasing, I've been eagerly awaiting this day. And today it is!!!

BTW, the watcher who finally flipped me is http://www.furaffinity.net/user/ristin/

To Ristin and all the others, thank you ALL for watching me.

Well just got back from the doctor today. for the past 8 months I've been dealing with chronic pain in my right arm. Which is the arm I draw with. The diagnoses at first were not helpful. However, eventually the docs seemed to have nailed the problem and as of today I am released from treatment. Yay! Downside are all the bills.

Because I'm feeling perky, I'm opening this journal for another round of Ask Wielder.

Feel free to ask whatever you like. I may not answer some questions, or may only answer some privately.

Please bear in mind I MAY use your questions as part of another round of Ask Wielder drawings.

We'll see.

Also, some new images should go up soon, possibly this weekend if not earlier.

Going to try and get back to drawing soon. Or at least some color work. Got sick and ended up sleeping a day away. So enjoying onion soup until I can eat meat again. Look forward to new images or colored posts hopefully within a week.

So, after a long and tiring day, I am now a Grandpup. Little Emma was born today. So lots of family fun and celebrating and to top it off...

tomorrow... jury duty...

This journal brought to you by the letters W, T, and F. And is best read with background music from a carnival. :P

Insomnia. A word that has many meanings and interpretations, but which boils down to the simple phrase. “I cannot sleep”

I’ve had insomnia since I was 8. Or more accurately, I was 8 when I had my first run in with it. At the time I had a remarkably unsympathetic reaction to it when I told my parents. For my father, who had never had trouble sleeping in his life, he saw it as my offering an excuse to stay up late watching television. Which was actually kind of stupid as this was back before cable and back when the big stations still signed off at some point in the night and wouldn’t resume broadcast until morning. (Yeah, I’m dating myself a lot here.) My mom just didn’t get it. So I would literally be stuck in my bed for 8 hours, miserable, bored and unable to sleep. Because heaven help the kid wondering the house in the middle of the night.

As the years went on, I’ve come to terms with my insomnia in the sense that I know it’s going to happen and it happens on average of about two to three times a year. Sometimes less. On one hand I get a lot of work done. I mean don’t we all wish we had an extra 8 hours in the day? On the other hand some of the quality suffers, because I’m still TIRED. I just cannot sleep. The first day is usually fine. I feel awake and charged and energized. But as you enter the 36 hour mark, the fatigue begins. By 48 I’m beat but still cannot sleep. If I’m lucky I get so tired I can take an hour nap. By 50+ hours I’m reaching that stage that is fun to be around.

It’s kind of like being drunk without drinking. That’s when the uber weird really starts to come out to play. It’s times like these I look at all the newspapers needing recycling and go… hmmmm. It is moments like these that led the construction of the paper mache dragon that donned the front yard of my parents house for a few days. Made entirely out of recycled tax forms, and breathing shredded tax documents at an entire miniature army of stick figures holding plastic forks as weapons. And on the dragon was painted the words the “Tax Beast”. Of course this was early April. I remember my mom came home from work took one look at the thing in her yard and walked in and saw me cooking and just asked, “Still can’t sleep?”

Sleeping pills are kind of a sensitive issue with me because of an event in my past. But I take them sparingly. And sometimes they work. Sometimes they do not make a dent. And I usually don’t realize I’m imsoniatic until it’s really too late to take them. Right now, I’m not taking because this is what I call a “noisy” case.

The best way to explain this, is to imagine you listening to the radio. You have one radio and one station and you understand it just fine. It’s clear. This is a average person. My brain is more like 12 radios, on 12 different stations, each equally clear and amazingly enough I am listening and understanding ALL of them at once. Right now my brain is racing with concepts, jokes, movie ideas, comics ideas, movies I’ve seen, games I want to play, and all while listening to Poinkcast… So yeah, that last bit probably isn’t helping. I actually could lay in bed and close my eyes and my brain is so active that I would instantly start doing various things in my head.

To best appreciate what this means… I am sitting here typing on the computer for this little journal while trying to figure out which animals need to be featured in my book I am working on, trying to determine which color of backing I need to finish the four quilts I have sitting downstairs, trying to remember if I ever got Alex’s email from MFM, because I finished his quilt, trying to imagine what yogurt flavored chicken nuggets would taste like, wondering what it would be like if Morgan Freeman fursuited, trying to figure out how to make a smurf ride a dinosaur, trying to work out a construction design for two different puppets for use later on this year, and trying to design a label for my own brand of homemade spices with a Big Bad Wolf theme… (You can thank Jase for that one.)

And this is while I’m AWAKE!

I have to find distractions at times like these. If I find something that uses my mind more, it slows down and I feel more like I’m just driving fast on a highway rather than suddenly finding myself thrust into a NASCAR race where all the cars are made of fruit! And right now I’m also dealing with the big six letter word…

STRESS

Work stress, life stress, and a sort of fear of what my future may hold. Because lo and behold I’ve hit a point in my life where I’ve lost something I’ve had my whole life… direction.

So things could be better. But then again they could be massively worse. It boils down to just can’t sleep for now and not sure what to do with myself.

IF you are looking for baby quilts, which can be given away as gifts for baby showers, or hung on walls as decorations, please let me know.

I've been on a quilting frenzy and made 5 quilts in as many days. I also could use some money. So I'm willing to offer a discounted rate to FA members if you are interested. Baby quilts are 3 feet square and normally sell for $80 each. (Great if you get people to pool their money.) However for FA members, should anyone be interested... I'm lowering the price to start at $65. Some quilts may be more depending on material and design.

This site has examples of some of my older works.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/995917.....7616889380824/

Delivery cost depends on where and how and will be determined on a case by case basis.

I do not have a Paypal account. So I have no way of accepting money via that option. But there are others.

If you are interested, let me know and I'll send you photos of current quilts and you can choose which you may be interested in.

On a final note, these quilts can be hung as wall decorations, or may be used in a practical sense. I use Cotton fabrics normally and design them to be washed and used. Care and washing instructions will be included.

*************

As for why the sudden reason of putting this on FA, well that was because someone suggested it to me. It honestly never occurred to me before.

So, here I am, doing some more rumor control. They do seem to spawn after cons a lot like creepers at night. And lo and behold... Some were actually right for a change.

1. Wielder has panic attacks. Reality: this one is actually true. 100%. I am prone to anxiety or panic attacks. I have been able to keep them under control for the most part, but every once in a while I just can't keep them under wraps and stress. The tornado at MFM understandably caused one back in Sept of 2012. But I did have one at furry Fiesta this past weekend.

2. Wielder freaked out at Furry Fiesta. Reality: this is part of number 1. I had a panic attack when my mate learned that furry communication can be dangerous. My mate was looking for me. He told a fur we mutually knew that he was looking for me and that fur in turn told another fur that knew us. By the time it found me... It changed from my mate was looking for me to "he's looking for you and it's very important, urgent!" Which inadvertently triggered a panic attack.

Now let me explain, normally I wouldn't get triggered by such simple things, but I was I'll and exhausted, which makes it easier for that to happen.

3. Wielder was hardly at the con. Reality: I was fairly reclusive the time I was there. I wasn't hiding though I spent a lot of time in the corral and moving about. So I was there and not hiding in my room.

So lo and behold... Three rumors that actually got it right. For now... I figure they'll snowball in a few weeks and they'll go crazy, but for now they are right.

Now there were a couple that came to me that are of course not so accurate...

1. Wielder is a slut. He had his husband go to In and Out for burgers and brought two guys back to his room to do a sword fight in his mouth. Reality: first... This one is SO specific that I think it may have been deliberately started by someone who doesn't like me and the phrasing gives me a few suspects. Not many people use the term sword fight like that. It didn't happen. I was not feeling good the whole weekend and all I accomplished was late night snuggling with my husband. Also... This. Rumor is specific in time too... When asked sources all say the rumor says it happened roughly 6ish to 7. On sat. Which makes sense as that would be when we'd have dinner. And it had to have been sat, as we didn't arrive until after 7 fri and left by 2 sun. However anyone who wants to look up the schedule... Or even better, all the people who were there can testify that at that time I was busy doing my show. So there seems to be some real hatred behind this one. So far the three people who approached me about this rumor didn't believe it but wanted me to know about it.

2. Wielder got drunk and threw up on a raccoon fursuiter. Reality. Don't drink. Never been drunk. Never threw up on a fursuit. I think this may be a case of mistaken identity... Unless there is a new Wielder going around.

There were others... But they seemed to be more in fun and jest. Kind of like people who know about rumors and me and were having fun. They actually gave me some good laughs, but these seemed the ones that needed to be addressed.

Oh... And the last one... Yes I did beat The Game. :)

I WILL be there.

I will also be having a show at TFF. So, if you actually read these journals and want to see me humiliate myself yet again for the amusement of others, then please find me Saturday Evening, 6PM at the Elm Room. (Please note this is where I am scheduled at this time, but it may change.)

Also, I will be dragging the usual assortment of art cards, and chocolate for trading with artists.

But I just finished the tails. I'm trying something new at TFF for the first time. (New for me, but not necessarily new for the fandom) I just finished making a large assortment of little tails that can be attached to badges and whatnot. I just finished a little over 300 of the boogers. I will be giving them away or trading them for art or whatever.

So... here's your opportunity to publicly say "Wielder gave me tail". :)

I will arrive Late Friday night.

See you there.

For anyoen who say the X-mas episode of Funday Pawpets, the question has been repeatedly asked what did I do to my arm.

In jest I would tell people I hurt it wrestling Reindeer. Which while Wearing JAeger suited his personality. What he would have been wrestling them for is anyone's guess.

But the real answer at the time was unknown. I had no idea what was wrong with my arm. All I knew was that for the past six weeks, it went from mild ache to something worse as time went on. I've been seeing doctors and a few days ago was finally put on a medication which seemed to suddenly make a HUGE difference.

So today a specialist examined me and states that he believes the problem is Frozen Shoulder. The treatment includes monthly shots directly into the joint, some medication I am already on for another week and physical therapy to keep the shoulder from worsening. No one is sure what brought it on exactly, though there are theories. But for now I just feel a little loopy and the constant pain has been reduced to a dull ache which may have been from the injection. Still sore in all the same areas, but I have hope this will finally turn around and I will be able to move my arm properly again soon.

I have held off explaining the injury because no one was yet sure what had happened and I wanted to be more certain. Thanks to all the letters and notes of concern about the arm, but it should be improving with the next few days, and if it doesn't we try something else.

So, this has been going on for a few months now. And now it's getting silly. I got an email today. A long drawn out, heavily winded expression at disappointment in my very existence.

And what did I do to draw out this person's ire? What crime did I commit that was so heinous that it warranted an immediate reaction via email from this person?

Well... on that point I shall join the masses as the genuinely mystified.

Why am I confused, one may ask. Is it because this person's points were unclear? Or somehow vague? No. The reason I am confused is because the person who wrote this angry letter confirmed before they even got started that everything they heard was just rumor.

Rumor.

And yet they reacted as if it was somehow solid fact, despite the fact that they admit it was a rumor. I wonder strongly if they understand the difference between rumor and fact at all. But this letter isn't the reason I am writing this. It's actually nothing more than the straw. Not the one that broke the camel's back. But the one that just ticked me off when I was already in a bad mood.

To clarify, rumors and myself don't get along. There are TONS of them out there circulating around me and ironically enough people often tell me all about them, failing quite humorously to connect the fact that the rumors about the Wielder they are talking about happens to be the same person they are talking to. Over the years I've heard some AMAZING ones.

My favorite will always be the one where I am dead, Tyger Cowboy covered up my death and hid my body at the hotel the MEphit Fur Meet used to be at.

But lately... as in the past several months, the rumors have turned darker and sinister. They lack the amusing tone I've come to enjoy. The statements now circulating are entering the realm of slanderous and defamatory.

That being said, I put this out there not only for those who happen to glance at my journals...

BUT to ANYONE who ever wanted to know anything about me, ...

PLEASE ASK.

Don't trust the rumors. If you hear someone spreading the rumors, invite, suggest, or feel free to command them if that's your style, to just ask me. I have regular rumor control through here.

My last can be found here:http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/3877364/

I also have a whole Ask Wielder Comic project that can be found in my scraps folder.

I'm approachable. But please don't approach me working under the assumption that any of the rumors are true. Even if by some fluke you nail one that actually IS, it'd almost be safer to assume their all inaccurate first.

Which brings me to my last point. While this person had lots of rumors that upset them, the one that seems to have set them on edge was the notion that I was anti-babyfur.

Okay, Rumor control: I am not anti-babyfur. Anyone who's took time to look through my artwork will notice a theme. A theme of fetishes, kinks, and erotic exploration. Not much in this world squicks me. While I'm not into every fetish and kink out there, I am okay with many and most of them. And the ones I am not okay with are few, and I have good reasons for.

As for babyfurs... I have lots of babyfur friends. I know many of them. I not only do not hate babyfurs, but I am a daddyfur for a couple. I have two cubs from that community. One a babyfur, one a cubby. My life is full of the interesting and the unusual. I see no reason to try and cut out people out of my life. My experiences are the richer and the more sublime for having these people in my life, as friends or as more.

I don't hate anyone. No, really. I have a couple of people I probably should hate, and whom I'd probably be forgiven for hating if I listed all the wrongs they did against me, but I do not hate anyone. LEt's spread THAT rumor!

Wielder doesn't hate anyone....

I need a list of names, folks. And your help.

I have a commission project I want to get done, and to do it, I need artists.

I Have been asking the more well known artists out there and the turn around combined with their higher prices makes this project impractical. So here is what I'd like from you guys and it would be a big help.

Give me names and FA info on any artists you know who do quality work for reasonable prices. Who have a good turnaround time and steady history of getting the work out.

And if they don't mind accepting payment other than paypal without pitching a total fit that would be a major bonus.

I cannot use paypal. I had to block them from accessing my accounts because they ... let's just say we don't get along. There are plenty of legitimate ways of paying without paypal that can be secured and even guarenteed and I use them instead.

Anyway... minor rant aside. I really need some assists here. So, if you have a friend who would be willing to tackle an unusual commission project with potential to have their art put out and praised, and you know they can be trusted to get the work done quickly and for a reasonable price, I'm willing to consider them. Just send me info so I can contact them.

Thanks.

This is for anyone who reads these journals, follows my artwork for any reason, or just anyone who wants to put in their two cents regarding a specific issue I am giving some thought.

First, some background. I used to do commissions. I did okay with them and had some decent followings on them and was really good about turnaround and production. I stopped because I began to develop the arthritis issues, which have improved thanks to treatments. I also stopped because drawing lost its fun for me. The having to draw exactly the way people wanted made it work, and since I was trading money for art, I expected that might happen.

So I stopped taking commissions because I wanted to give my fingers time to heal and because I wanted to rediscover what I loved about the art I wanted to do.

I have since adopted a policy of taking requests that may or may not ever get done. No one pays for them, even when finished, so I never felt as if a rush was in order.

But now I am faced with a sort of dilemma... I don't NEED the money... But I could really use it. I'd like to take the next step in evolution for art and begin a more digital approach. So... I'd like to start saving up for two things...

A new computer (Which is necessary as my old one is reaching the point of no return.)
And a tablet. (about to show my ignorance as I am not sure what it is called exactly. But basically one of those electronic pads so I can draw into the computer directly.)

One is essential, the other an investment.

Which is where I would like some feedback. I'm not a great artist, or even one of the famous ones. But I have been doing it a long time and have a particular style some folks like. I need some help looking at the pros and cons of opening the commission board again after all these years. I need help figuring out if I should, if I might regret it, or if it may be just the challenge I need.

I just need some input. Even if it is something as simple as "i buy your art." Which I may hold you to. :) But mostly I am considering something else...

If I do this, I may revise my current project... I have in the works a large multi-character project... Details here: http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/3950834/

The purpose of the project was simply to challenge myself and give me a specific goal. But if I do open up commissions, I wonder, would anyone be interested in a basically 'your character here' type of set up? I am still working on the details as this is a 25 character image. But if people were favorable to the idea it could easily at this point, be modified to include characters.

Again, this is all discussion at this point.

For those curious, I don't expect to raise the money I need by commissions alone. My goal will be $3000. Which is out there, but would let me get the toys I desire most. But I may as well set the goal I want instead of selling short.

So...

What do you think?

Ever get an opportunity to look at yourself quite unexpectedly and suddenly realize exactly how deluded you really are? Funny how it happened to me today. I went to a meet today, a furmeet. And in a way it was fantastic. I met up with Spike, a fur who had dropped off the radar for years and was amazed with how we connected, and more than that, for the first time I was able to sit with him and talk in a way I had always wanted since I had first met him. That was fantastic. And I’m delighted he is local to the area.

Then I heard the rumbling. It would seem that a local friend who hosts meets of her own has recently run into trouble with complaints about her meets. The problem is that a lot of complaining has been going on behind the scene lately. Rumors and secret discussions and friend of a friend type comments. Accusations of misuse of authority, accusations of certain people not being invited, and even accusations of certain sub groups being unwelcome.

I could easily get into the long list of complaints, that are centered just around myself and the meets my mates and I host. But that isn’t why I feel I have to write this.

I screwed up. I moved to my friend’s side in an attempt to help her. To defend her and in that sense I feel, even now, that I did the right thing. When I stood before the crowd and begged them to come to us with their problems, to give us the chance to fix them, I feel I did that right as well. I even did my best to keep it succinct and short despite some things that came up. Probably didn’t succeed as well there, but I did try.

No… where I screwed up is when I looked all these fellow furs in the face and begged them to come to us I forgot one very important thing I wouldn’t realize until I was driving home. I was in effect, preaching to the choir. These furs WEREN’T the problem and never had been! Why was I reminding THEM about this? The problem was not them.

It was those who DIDN’T come to the meets. These were the predominant complainers, whiners and bitchers. These mysterious, nameless OTHERS who whine about how this meet is run, how that meet is organized, and even who runs them. Those were the ones I should have told.

But they were not there. They rarely if ever come to the meets. These people sit in the shadows of their personal worlds and snipe at the things they see from afar. These same people will likely never come out and form their complaints legitimately. They will likely never email or call us directly and discuss with us the problems they feel the meets have. Not like the regulars can and already do.

And that’s where I screwed up. I was just trying to protect someone from what felt like an anonymous cloud of hate and vitriol. And in the process forgot who I was talking to. These regular furs didn’t deserve to hear me speak as if they might be at fault. Because they were not. I got lost in my protective nature and forgot where the real culprits lived. I owe the regulars an apology.

And now I’m at a loss. How can we restore the strength of our local community, when there are these secretive complainers who chip away at the resolve of those who host these meets? What will happen when the threats, the complaints, the rumors, the accusations, and the all around ill will by these secretive complainers suddenly make those few who host these events give up and walk away? It isn’t the hosts who will suffer, but the whole community, even those who snub it.

I don’t know what to do.

Well given the date and all the hype about this being the end of the world, I find myself reflecting slightly. Partly because I'm in pain. I managed to injure my arm recently, somehow. (And this is rather annoying since it seems to hurt worst at NIGHT and only when I'm trying to sleep.) So, I'm a fairly cranky wolf right now. Today not only marks the end of the world date, but today I am going to do something I've dreamed about since I was a child. (Not literally today but the journey begins today.)

Today, We leave to go to Disney World. <b>I'm going to spend Christmas at Disney</b>. For me, that is a childhood fantasy I always had that I also always understood would never happen as I grew up very poor. And yet here it is, many years later, about to fulfill something I never thought would happen. Well the Going to Disney part. As a child I never even considered actually spending Christmas there. But it is something I am REALLY looking forward to.

Although I'd rather NOT be on the road today just in case the crazies who think the end is real are driving too...

On another note, I'm going to be on the Funday Pawpet Show Sunday. I am VERY excited about this prospect. My being on their show is show exciting for me. Packing Jaeger along and his new holiday outfit. I'm particularly excited one of my mates is going with me. I hope they're ready for what he intends to wear.

As of this point, the audience participation stages are finished. I will now be listing the details and those will be used to construct a single image. Some of this may seem spoiler like, but the image itself still needs to be constructed and designed and such.

First, what everyone voted on/selected/etc...

15 animals species listed. (I will make every attempt to include one of each in the image.)

The number from 5 to 50 was determined by average and rounded up. The result was 25. (Which made me sort of cringe as this is the number of characters I will have to draw as a part of this challenge. This is a minimum character count, I give myself the lee-way of exceeding it if I feel it will help the image.)

Voted environment is Sci-fi. Specifically an Arena. (So that is where all the action will take place, in the middle of an arena with a sci-fi atmosphere about it, so probably a lot of shiny metal plates and such. Have to design the arena first and then draw. There will not be an audience in the arena as the audience was meant to be one at least.)

Robots are out, Cyborgs are in. (Which will mean some of the characters will likely have cybernetic appendages... )

**********

And Involved/instigating all this is the Arch villian. This is the latest selection process. Since Only seven people offered suggestions, I have decided to assign each suggestion a number and use the random number generator to select one randomly. Only one suggestion had more than one vote, I supoose you'd call it that. So that one would naturally have slightly better odds of winning...

So the villain archtype is... #3... TamaraRose's suggestion of ... zombies...

Okay... um zombies are not really sci-fi... but I like a challenge... So... cyborg zombies work for you guys?

Results from previous journals:

15 animals listed.

The number from 5 to 50 was determined by average and rounded up. The result was 25.

Voted environment is Sci-fi. Specifically an Arena.

Robots are out, Cyborgs are in.

---

The votes were the majority for Cyborgs, but definitely a majority against robots. The Arena setting BARELY beat out Space Ship and Alien Planet. (Both of which had the same number of votes.) So it was really close on that one.

Now for the last stage of the voting process before I go forward with the illustration project.


Answer this question...


What is your favorite Archtype Scifi Villain? (This can be any classic or modern character type, as long as it fits an archtype. Ex: Evil Alien Dictator, like Ming the merciless from Flash Gordon. Evil robots, like Daleks from Doctor Who...)

Feel free to list specific examples if you want to be more clear.

Results from previous journal:

15 animals listed.

The number from 5 to 50 was determined by average and rounded up. The result was 25.

Voted environment is Sci-fi.

---

Now for the new questions.

Please choose one: Alien Planet, Space Ship, Arena, Giant Robot, or Command Bridge

Please answer Yes or No to the two following: (you are deciding if they will feature in any way)

Robots: Yes or No

Cybernetics: Yes or No


As with the other one this will only be up for a few days until I have a chance to process the information. Each stage will get steadily more specific as we go on.

Okay... going to try another one of my projects. Like others in the past there is an unpredictability factor. People will be voting on something without knowing What they are deciding. This adds the random element to the challenge I have set myself. So here is the first question I will ask of those who follow my journals.

I don't know how long I'll run this, so do not hesitate to answer.

Choose a number From 5 to 50.

Name one animal species.

Choose one: Nature, Ancient, Sci-fi, or Surreal.

Post your answer in a reply to this journal. (I am probably going to regret this....)

Every once in a while, I find it useful to listen in on the rumors being said about me. What makes this activity funny is not just the rumors, but the fact that, when I'm at a con, people will walk up to me and tell me rumors... about myself, apparently overlooking the name-badges hanging from my neck, identifying who I am. Now, I considered some of these people were suggesting things just to see my reaction, but in the end I discovered that the majority really had no idea who I was.

It is occurrences like that, which have given rise to the nickname, Wielder the Unseen. Anyway, rumors at cons, on forums, personal emails, and chat rooms do reach me from time to time and I've decided to help with a little Rumor Control. Just to clarify for anyone interested, and probably to amuse the rest.

Rumor Control: (Just so people know, I did my best to confirm that these rumors were about me, however, they could be about one of the other two Wielders I know of. It’s hard to be sure in a few cases, but most of these were made clear to me that they were supposed to be about me.)

Rumor: Wielder got married recently, and he and his wife live in Arkansas.
Fact: Yes, I am Married. No, it is NOT to a woman. I am in a poly relationship and Have two husbands. I am Gay, VERY gay. We live in Texas.

Rumor: Wielder is Dead. (Yes... this one is still going around.)
Fact: Not dead. I'm still very much moving around. And no, not a zombie. Not into brains. Unless zombies develop and insane attraction to bacon... not a zombie either.

Rumor: Wielder has a new boyfriend (Or girlfriend in some rumors) every other week. He's not into serious relationships.
Fact: I have only had a relationship with a grand total of four people in the past ten years. One was my Ex. We were together 5 years before I broke off the relationship. (I had LOTS of reasons not worth diving into now) After him, I was alone for four years before I met the TWO men who would later become my husbands. We will be celebrating 5 years together in a month. Here's is where I think it gets messy. I also have a boyfriend. Right now. So, YES, this is complicated. I have two husbands and one boyfriend. They all know about each other and I love all of them. For those that are scratching their heads wondering HOW? Then consider this... if you've ever heard my stories, you know life has NEVER been remotely normal for me. So why would my relationships be any more normal than my life?
Fact: I AM very into serious relationships and do not enter into any of them lightly. I do not trade up or out for a new boyfriend whenever I get bored with the last. And I am GAY. Really gay. Can't stand touching boobs. So, never had a girlfriend.

Rumor: Wielder is off limits, because he is married. (This is the polar opposite of the last one)
Fact: I am in a restricted, but open relationship with my husbands and boyfriend. There are certain things I'll Only do with my husbands, but there are other actions I can do with whomever I like. I am a very social person, who likes meeting new people. If you are unsure, best to ask. I will be as clear as possible. I'm not into setting people up for disappointment. I try to be open about limitations up front. There are some who will not speak with me for fear of angering my mates. (Not at all sure why.) But I can definitely talk to people.

Rumor: Wielder hosts Orgies at the cons he goes to.
Fact: I've never hosted an orgy at a con. EVER. I've had some rather interesting room parties, but even stretching the imagination, they were not orgies. I've also found myself not invited to said orgies... Which I find disappointing. I wanna go too!

Rumor: Wielder was banned from Furfright.
Fact: I have only been once. No. I was never banned from ANY con.

Rumor: Wielder Collects Stamps.
Fact: ?? Where would this one even come from? I used to collect comic books. Never collected stamps.

Rumor: Wielder doesn’t go to cons.
Fact: I don’t go to MANY cons. Usually only two a year.

Rumor: Wielder hates religion.
Fact: I do not hate religion, specific religions, or religious people. I’m in fact, very spiritual. However, I was raised that religion was a very private thing. Kind of like masturbation. You can do it, but you don’t brag about it. I am critical of zealots though. I have no problem with people having beliefs. But I do have problems with that crowd that overemphasize their religions, forcing them into my lap, screaming the battle chant of “I’m saved and you’re not” especially when they take time to emphasize the ‘you’re not’ part.

Rumor: Wielder hates fursuiters.
Fact: I own three fursuits, was a professional mascot, and was married in suit. The only thing I hate about fursuits is my lack of decent heat tolerance which forces me to spend so little time within them.

Completed projects:

As we have now passed MFM, and the quilt made for it seemed to have been a huge success, bringing in close to $500 for Tiger Haven. I learned a lot about better techniques. The fliers were a help. But next year I'll have a display for whatever I make as well as setting aside two to three hours to actively seek out sales.

As I type this, I just finished the Ask Wielder Project, in the sense that I will have answered at least one post per person. Some posted more than once. I will keep it open just in case anyone wants to ask more of me in the future.

I also was rather inspired from MFM. My muses were so noisy after the con that I threw together two images, both of which were done on the theme for next year's t-shirt contest. The down side is I cannot post them until next year. But I am quite impressed with the pieces. Not everyday I get done with two particularly complex pieces and actually feel satisfied my wrists are sore.

Future Projects:
Only one left for future consideration. And the catch is I can't draw it. I will eventually make a series of images based on many of my rather silly and out-there dreams. But I'll be asking other artists to interpret those images. If anyone knows artists willing to do trades, or has some affordable rates for commissions, please let me know.

And Gripe:
There just seems to be way too many people online these days, or just in general, who seem to be of the opinion that HAVING an opinion is a valid excuses to express it. Their sense of timing, or decency is lacking at best, or absent at worst. And the majority of these people seem to not understand the basic principles behind a critque. They offer their opinion as a criticism and cry out, should anyone complain about their opinion, that they were just offering 'helpful criticism' and should the target attack back with as much venom as they originally mustered these overly critical individuals or masses scream the battlecry of 'troll' or 'butthurt' and denounce the validity of the target's objections.

But here is the problem. Having an opinion is not a valid reason to EXPRESS that opinion. It MUST serve a valid purpose or the words will have no true validity. The PURPOSE of criticism is to help one grow. Therefore in order for it to be VALID criticism, one must follow a simple system. You must first evaluate the work. Then you must determine both the positive AND the negative elements. IT is at this point that you would then Express those points. But this is where so many get it wrong. They focus only on the negative elements or worse focus only on PERSONAL feelings caused by the work, which are not valid in such a criticism. Because how you FEEL is not going to be the same as the next person. But what is worse is most people STOP here, but the process is not finished. The most important step is the last one. It is at this point you are supposed to offer possible solutions to correct the flaws in whatever it was that was being evaluated.

This process is the same no matter what is being evaluated. But those who seem to understand this process are the most targeted when they counter this flagrant cynical behavior with genuine criticsim of their own.

There is a clear difference between offering criticism and being critical. And one other important thing about criticism. It's just plain RUDE to offer criticism without first securing permission from the one you will be criticising.

I guess I'm just tired of seeing creative minds giving away hard work, often for free, only to have some over-opinionated jack-up tear them down and not only expect them to KEEP making stuff for free, but be GRATEFUL for the venom and spite.

It's sickening and saddening how little they understand about the process and how much more useful they would be if they did....

This is a two part journal note. One to help me keep straight all I'm doing and Two, there is a part for others who may want to assist at the end.

As of this point I am working to wrap up the Ask Wielder Project. I have a few left to do and should hopefully have them done in a week.

After that, art will be put on hold as I work on a quilt for a charity auction. Yeah... I quilt too...

Upon finishing that I may be drawing heavily on personal art projects.

Concurrently to all this is a long project working with an artist to have a comic printed and Run In Genus Male. Hopefully next issue. I have written another story and will be working with an artist who has better skill in the comic form than I do. It will feature new characters that I created but who have yet to show up here. So pics of them may be appearing soon.

For those who attend, I will also be present at MFM this year.

In addition to all this, I am working with another artist to get fliers made for my show at MFM. If all goes well I hope She will consent to me sharing the final flier on my account.

I am also looking for willing artists to consent to get involved with a bizarre project. For this, I need either REALLY affordable rates for commissions or freebees... I WILL consider Trades too. But I need other people's interpretations of this... Those that know me well know I have very VERY odd dreams. Well I'd like to have a series of them illustrated. Some will be adult, others just ODD!

If interested in this, drop me a line, a note, or reply here.

Well may have to hold off on the art a bit longer. It turns out my AC is broken again... AGAIN! And I'm irritated with the people who are supposed to fix it since they seem to only patch the problem and try to charge us everytime they come out. Waiting for them to call.

Anyway, should hopefully start the Ask Wielder project when the AC comes back on. Meant to begin today, but too hot. So... it's coming eventually.

The project is still ongoing at this point, but I need more questions to make this work. I will begin drawing possibly within the next few weeks, or after the first of June so I am sketching out designs now for the questions I have, though they are just a few at this point.

So this is a reminder to those that read these journals:

Go by this journal for details:
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/3434947/

The form is simple. Ask me a question, pretty much any question you like on the journal linked above. Those questions will be answered in an illustrated form, in short, I'll draw the answer.

For those that don't know what to ask me about my personal life, or have the misfortune of knowing way to well already, :) , you can feel free to ask about any of my projects or characters from my stories or artwork as well. Let your imaginations run wild with your questions to get at the deep, dark, and possibly TMI answers that I will provide.