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Posted 8 years agoSketches, lines, and graphic designs!!
Currently accepting requests to expand my portfolio. My art ain’t always gon’na be free, so get it while it lasts! In terms of art, I’m offering no-revision fullbody sketches, lined headshots, and chibis. In terms of graphic design, I’m offering single-revision business cards, flyers, and logo design.
Get ‘em while they’re hot!!
Currently accepting requests to expand my portfolio. My art ain’t always gon’na be free, so get it while it lasts! In terms of art, I’m offering no-revision fullbody sketches, lined headshots, and chibis. In terms of graphic design, I’m offering single-revision business cards, flyers, and logo design.
Get ‘em while they’re hot!!
Heyso -- General Update Time
Posted 9 years agoSo, things are getting more stabilized around here (by 'around here,' I mostly mean in my head; my life is the same crazy mess it's always been).
I'm with my true-blue companion, fullgoldflush, and we're still all wrapped up in each other. We've been getting along better lately, which is good.
My headspace has gotten weirder and worse, then weirder and better, and has been ping-ponging a bit in the last few weeks. I think we're figuring it out, but I'm not totally sure. Things go skitty-wompus pretty easily up there.
I'm gon'na try to draw more, might be trying to save up to go to MCFC this coming Spring, though we have to move, so the financial ducks might not be in a row that quickly.
Well... stay frosty, followers. Hopefully I'll upload more stuff in the coming weeks.
-Billy
I'm with my true-blue companion, fullgoldflush, and we're still all wrapped up in each other. We've been getting along better lately, which is good.
My headspace has gotten weirder and worse, then weirder and better, and has been ping-ponging a bit in the last few weeks. I think we're figuring it out, but I'm not totally sure. Things go skitty-wompus pretty easily up there.
I'm gon'na try to draw more, might be trying to save up to go to MCFC this coming Spring, though we have to move, so the financial ducks might not be in a row that quickly.
Well... stay frosty, followers. Hopefully I'll upload more stuff in the coming weeks.
-Billy
Nope
Posted 9 years agoInstability
Posted 9 years agoBipolar.
Obsessive-Compulsive.
Autism Spectrum.
Dysthymia.
Social Phobia.
Dissociative Identities.
The words to describe them are too many, make my head spin so hard I find myself nauseous.
All simply to describe to the laymen why I'm too loud, too angry, so very, very confused.
And that's all I've found it is.
Confused and, as a child, alone - without an ear that intoned to listen for the deafening shrieks of my fragile psyche.
A child unable to grasp the world firmly in one little hand, left to fend for themselves in a family of addiction and ignorance.
The alters have left, and the waking dream sequences are no longer a part of my life.
A dark cloud hovers where once they stood, holding the doors shut for my own safety, my sanity.
And as I approach I've found that the cloud, that dark fog, hides truths only more vicious still,
with long knives at the ends of rope fingers, jutting from the depths to teach my curiosity that it is unwelcome.
There are nightmares, now, that bring me to the surface screaming for air.
There are memories that I'd never thought to exist, until they shook me to my very core.
At the heart of my mind I thought to find a child, innocent and wide-eyed, lost and glossy-eyed to the world at large,
Yet I found in the depths, beneath leaf and loam, nothing more than a withered corpse, glassy-eyes longing for a hope never granted.
I'm currently working through the emotional upheaval and trauma-dump that results when one is recovering from Dissociative Identity Disorder. While many years of speculation and confusion gave me reason to doubt my own diagnosis, the loss of the 'ability' to blackout dissociate as well as the now-revealed sections of my psyche hammered home that I am indeed recovering from what had reached the point of DID. Facing my emotions is hard, facing the flashbacks and memories and triggers I didn't know I had is harder. On the bright side, determination of why I've had certain problems, why I have certain compulsions, and -generally- why I'm trapped being the way that I am at least 60% is a great motivator and aid to be able to overlook the stressful parts of my problems and misunderstandings that usually result in my losing doctors' aid. So I'm getting better, seem worse, and I'm actually starting to develop some understanding and consistence now that my memory is a different, more manageable type of touch-and-go.
Obsessive-Compulsive.
Autism Spectrum.
Dysthymia.
Social Phobia.
Dissociative Identities.
The words to describe them are too many, make my head spin so hard I find myself nauseous.
All simply to describe to the laymen why I'm too loud, too angry, so very, very confused.
And that's all I've found it is.
Confused and, as a child, alone - without an ear that intoned to listen for the deafening shrieks of my fragile psyche.
A child unable to grasp the world firmly in one little hand, left to fend for themselves in a family of addiction and ignorance.
The alters have left, and the waking dream sequences are no longer a part of my life.
A dark cloud hovers where once they stood, holding the doors shut for my own safety, my sanity.
And as I approach I've found that the cloud, that dark fog, hides truths only more vicious still,
with long knives at the ends of rope fingers, jutting from the depths to teach my curiosity that it is unwelcome.
There are nightmares, now, that bring me to the surface screaming for air.
There are memories that I'd never thought to exist, until they shook me to my very core.
At the heart of my mind I thought to find a child, innocent and wide-eyed, lost and glossy-eyed to the world at large,
Yet I found in the depths, beneath leaf and loam, nothing more than a withered corpse, glassy-eyes longing for a hope never granted.
I'm currently working through the emotional upheaval and trauma-dump that results when one is recovering from Dissociative Identity Disorder. While many years of speculation and confusion gave me reason to doubt my own diagnosis, the loss of the 'ability' to blackout dissociate as well as the now-revealed sections of my psyche hammered home that I am indeed recovering from what had reached the point of DID. Facing my emotions is hard, facing the flashbacks and memories and triggers I didn't know I had is harder. On the bright side, determination of why I've had certain problems, why I have certain compulsions, and -generally- why I'm trapped being the way that I am at least 60% is a great motivator and aid to be able to overlook the stressful parts of my problems and misunderstandings that usually result in my losing doctors' aid. So I'm getting better, seem worse, and I'm actually starting to develop some understanding and consistence now that my memory is a different, more manageable type of touch-and-go.
Anti-Patreon
Posted 10 years agoAre we seriously paying for the 'privilege' to see the artwork of artists?!
Okay, see, let me explain: I am 100% behind the primary concept of Patreon:
the concept that it exists for the sake of allowing career artists the ability to afford the time
they need to be able to devote an appropriate amount of time to artwork that is pleasurable
instead of just grinding out endless commission work. Totally cool -- I'm good with people
using Patreon for 'early peeks' at artwork, stages of art, WIPs, prizes for Patrons, and onward.
What I'm seeing more and more of, that makes me sick to my stomach are artists who
are now using free websites like FurAffinity as 'teasers,' putting up only their PG artwork, or
only their sketches, or only the bare bones of what they've been working on recently, and using
each and every one of these pieces of artwork as a desperate cry for more fucking money so
they can draw more art that you can't see without putting a few dollars in their pockets.
You whores disrespect the name of artwork, fucking seriously. :/ Considering yourself an
artist when you'll only work for money is like considering yourself in love just to get your
dick wet.
Okay, see, let me explain: I am 100% behind the primary concept of Patreon:
the concept that it exists for the sake of allowing career artists the ability to afford the time
they need to be able to devote an appropriate amount of time to artwork that is pleasurable
instead of just grinding out endless commission work. Totally cool -- I'm good with people
using Patreon for 'early peeks' at artwork, stages of art, WIPs, prizes for Patrons, and onward.
What I'm seeing more and more of, that makes me sick to my stomach are artists who
are now using free websites like FurAffinity as 'teasers,' putting up only their PG artwork, or
only their sketches, or only the bare bones of what they've been working on recently, and using
each and every one of these pieces of artwork as a desperate cry for more fucking money so
they can draw more art that you can't see without putting a few dollars in their pockets.
You whores disrespect the name of artwork, fucking seriously. :/ Considering yourself an
artist when you'll only work for money is like considering yourself in love just to get your
dick wet.
HELP RE: NAGA SEX
Posted 10 years agoSo, I can't decide how I think it would be most appropriate to draw out naga sex? I have a mass
of snake characters and am in constant conflict about how exactly I want to portray it... Anyone
have ideas?
of snake characters and am in constant conflict about how exactly I want to portray it... Anyone
have ideas?
In Process / Owed Artwork
Posted 10 years agoBecause I'm finally starting to struggle keeping track of it, I'm writing down the artwork that I'm in
the process of working on that is a reference, is being done for someone else, or is being made with
the intent of being sold.
IF I'VE FORGOTTEN ANYONE/ANYTHING PLEASE TELL ME!!
Commissions
1. Reference sheet for kida_raindance -- sketched / lining...
2. [Trade] Suited Tom for keeskeren
Monetary Fillers
1. Collaborative Adoptable Sheet -- shaded / colouring...
Offers/Requests
1. Personal icon for keeskeren
2. Family Photo: Walter, Arabella, Flynn for fullgoldflush
3. Reference sheet for zanethebrokenangel
4. Suited Exhibitionism for d-hcase
Personal
1. OTP 30-Day Challenge [overtime]: Day 3 -- sketching...
2. Reference sheet for Billy -- lined / colouring...
3. Touch Chart for Billy
the process of working on that is a reference, is being done for someone else, or is being made with
the intent of being sold.
IF I'VE FORGOTTEN ANYONE/ANYTHING PLEASE TELL ME!!
Commissions
1. Reference sheet for kida_raindance -- sketched / lining...
2. [Trade] Suited Tom for keeskeren
Monetary Fillers
1. Collaborative Adoptable Sheet -- shaded / colouring...
Offers/Requests
1. Personal icon for keeskeren
2. Family Photo: Walter, Arabella, Flynn for fullgoldflush
3. Reference sheet for zanethebrokenangel
4. Suited Exhibitionism for d-hcase
Personal
1. OTP 30-Day Challenge [overtime]: Day 3 -- sketching...
2. Reference sheet for Billy -- lined / colouring...
3. Touch Chart for Billy
BOOM BABEH
Posted 10 years ago
I'm back online ~
B3
And fullgoldflush has a computer now, so that means she'll be online ever.
; w; Eem.HEY FRIENDS.
Posted 10 years agoAs I commented in the last journal, finally actually moving.
This update is to say that we are in the process of doing just that, and because of the timing, I may have internet as
soon as I move, OR I might not be back online until Tuesday. Just as a warning -- if I'm gone all weekend, I'm fine.
<3 Love you, Mama! Love you, Zane! I'll miss you guys and ev'rybody else, too. C:
-BillybeanSome Struggles
Posted 10 years ago
We are actually moving finally (I think I said that already).
But fullgoldflush and I have been fighting, and badly.
And I've started having panic attacks again for the first time in around six months,
and they're over really menial stuff.
At the moment, it's whenever I can't manage to get something right while I'm drawing, and it's
sickening, with the chest pain and the hyperventilation and the tearless, breathless sobbing.
They're not long or persistent or as bad as the necrophobia-caused ones I used to have all the time.
But the fact that they're back is so awful and I can't get anything done because, sure, I can get
over them, but I can't get past them and it's hard as fuck.
At least my Embroidered Equines information request form came.
Sucks that I cannot manage to make the high quality version of HoneyComb's cutie mark without
panicking.
FML.
Update! c:
Posted 10 years ago
Still trapped at the crappy apartment, though thanks to my mom's ranting, the landlord isn't
forcing is to pay a full month's rent being stuck here. The stuck sucks, especially since 80% or
more of our stuff is in boxes, including all our cooking stuff. xP
For once, we're actually in the black in terms of finances, which is an amazing reason. Hopefully
we're going to be able to stay there in our new apartment. Given Big Brother got his old job back
(yay), I decided to set my replacement tablet sights a little higher than they were. And so...
[ HERE'S MY NEW GOFUNDME ]
I was previously raising money to get an Intuos; with our increased income, we don't really need to
crowdfund (let alone save) to afford that one. So instead, I decided to go with my first preference,
and I'm trying to save up for a Cintiq Companion Hybrid. ; w; I also added reward levels!! So
donations of $10, $30, and $50 receive increasing qualities of artwork.
Aaaand I seriously need to colour this set of 'taur adoptables, but I just cannot get the momentum
going. Bwar. @ x@
Hope everybody else is doing well enough ~ c:Why are the dates all screwed up?
Posted 10 years agoIs anyone else having this issue?
Most old things I see are either 'July 11th' or 'November 11th, 2014'.
And it's making hard to figure out abandoned accounts vs. active ones?
It's weird.
Most old things I see are either 'July 11th' or 'November 11th, 2014'.
And it's making hard to figure out abandoned accounts vs. active ones?
It's weird.
Moving (apartments, not sites)
Posted 10 years ago(Gah, with all the freaking ship-jumping, I'm disgusted that I have to point out that I'm moving
in real life, not on the internet.)
Or we're trying to, anyway.
Applied for an apartment, that my mother is acting like we've already been approved to move into.
Landlord is barking at our heels because he's ashit eating bastard cockmonger.
And to top it all off, I have a broken leg, a fucked-up cast, and am nearing that bleeding time that
comes with being a transman off testosterone, and a fibromyalgia sufferer with a hormone problem.
So I've got this mysterious stabbing chest pain again, like every month.
Augh.
So I'm not going to be around as much over the next couple days.
Minimal presence and stuff. I'm still alive, though. Notes are best way to reach me.
Or Skype, I guess. WithKeyLymes, because I'm creative.
-Billy
in real life, not on the internet.)
Or we're trying to, anyway.
Applied for an apartment, that my mother is acting like we've already been approved to move into.
Landlord is barking at our heels because he's a
And to top it all off, I have a broken leg, a fucked-up cast, and am nearing that bleeding time that
comes with being a transman off testosterone, and a fibromyalgia sufferer with a hormone problem.
So I've got this mysterious stabbing chest pain again, like every month.
Augh.
So I'm not going to be around as much over the next couple days.
Minimal presence and stuff. I'm still alive, though. Notes are best way to reach me.
Or Skype, I guess. WithKeyLymes, because I'm creative.
-Billy
COMMISSIONS! [4 slots, lowered prices!]
Posted 10 years ago↱ Commission Sheet | Rules | Reviews ↲Current Wait Time: Roughly one week.
NOTE OR COMMENT TO CLAIM A SLOT! C:
↱ Slots: ↲
1. Taken by KidaRaindance
2. Open!
3. Open!
4. Open!
5. Open!
Will Draw: Any gender/sexuality, any race/species, backgrounds, tasteful nudity, NSFW
subject matter, unique bodies/faces, wings, most kinks (most is not all), vore, gore (I'll try,
anyway), abuse/rape**, select canon characters (ask for more info), most fan characters.
Won't Draw: Particular art styles, ferals (no ethics, I'm just crap at non-humanoid body
types), reptillian heads (trying, still failing), colour vomit, scat (including messy diapers), soft vore,
extreme muscularity, MLP 'feral' ponies (anthros only), most canon characters, hate artwork, stream
commissions (my skill level just doesn't allow for that currently).
↱ Draw Cravings: ↲
◆ Nagas - Always and forever, they be my flavourite.
◆ Babyfurs - Boy do I love cute floofy things in diapers. :P
◆ Sissies / Femboys - I'm in the mood for details and ruffles and boys that look like girls while still
definitely being boys. P:
◆ Orcs - I lovelovelove them (and much of their artwork), but have no experience drawing anything
that they're made up of; 'ugliness', bulk (both fat and muscle), hairiness on a non-anthro
humanoid, size differences. I CAN'T PROMISE ANYTHING as far as my skill level is concerned,
but I will try my buns numb.
◆ NSFW content - As my gallery dictates, I have minimal experience with pornographic artwork. This
needs to change.
◆ Multiple Characters - Preferably with pose references, as I'm not yet good enough at anatomy to
compose them myself.
◆ Character designs - For some reason I've been in the mood to do adoptables and other variations
of character designs on bases, along with doing my own drawings to accompany them. Is fun.
↱ Commission Form: ↲
Not needed for PWYW commissions.
Please remove everything in parenthesis!
Customer. (Your main account username.)
Commission Type. (Lineart, sketch, traditional, CG, etc.)
Character. (Description and image references, please.)
Personalities/Relationship. (So I have an idea of who they are/how they interact.)
Scene. (Overall, what you want the scene to be.)
Emotion. (The feeling you want from the scene; romantic, sad, happy, etc.)
Background. Y/N (Description and/or image references, if you want a background.)
↱ Reference Sheet Form: ↲
Please remove everything in parenthesis!
Customer. (Your main account username.)
Colour Scheme. (What colours you'd prefer the background/font to be.)
Maturity Rating. (General / Mature / Adult)
Character Name & References. (Name and image references only - descriptions expected
below.)
Character Information. (Whatever information you want displayed on the image. Please use paragraph
spacing if the information is extensive.)
Character Appearance. (Detailed character appearance information, from front and back.)
Close-up Details. (Anything you want to be zoomed-up on; piercings or special markings or eyes or
whatever.)
Clothed Fullbody. Y/N - (Details for the clothing that you want the character to be wearing.)
Alternate Forms? Y/N - (Options : Feral, child (age), and/or other (goo, plushie, chibi, etc.))
Clothing References? Y/N - (Amount and specifics.)
Inventory? Y/N - (List of objects and either descriptions or picture references (if necessary).)
Favourite Fetish Reference? Y/N - (What it is, preference on the scene you'd like to display it.)
[TMI Tuesday] Embarassing Sex Meme
Posted 10 years ago1. Is there anyone on your friends watch list you would ever consider having sex with?
Oh yesyesyes. > //w//>' But I'm a bit of an odd pidge in that I... consider sex to be
something that improves a friendship, rather than turning it into something else...
...I have indeed messed up some friendships like that. @ -@
2. Sex in the morning, afternoon or night?
Afternoon delight ~ I have weird hang-ups in the morning. n //n''
3. What side of the bed do you sleep on?
Inside - whichever side is against the wall.
4. Do you masturbate?
Daily.
5. How often? Lately?
Again, daily. Anyone who's been married for a while knows the whole 'you got off, I got off,
okay, goodnight' routine, and that's about where we are with me off T. Except we just use
our expensive vibrator instead of each other. ; //u//; Manual stimulation is hard.
6. Have you ever taken your clothes off for money?
Not yet, but it's practically been scheduled. Though 'taking clothes off' isn't 100% accurate...
7. Do you prefer showers or baths?
Baths! My poor legs and torso looove an opportunity to not hold up anything and be nice and
suspended for a bit.
8. Have you ever had sex in the shower or the bath?
Several times. When we still lived with Big Brother's parents, there was a lot of oral sex in
the standing shower. > //> And a few splashy occasions of sex in the bath.
9. Do you watch/read pornography? With other people?
I do indeed; I prefer written pornography, usually story driven and dripping with detail. In
terms of the visual stuff, I prefer that which you find around here - illustrated porn, though
I have more human than furry. As far as other people, though... only indirectly. I'll
share things with people through the 'net and roleplay in that regard. Big Brother and I
get all teenage boyish when we try to watch porn together and just end up making fun of it.
xD! Though we have recently discussed the possibility of my reading erotic works aloud for
play... > ////>
10. Do you want someone aggressive or passive in bed?
Aggressive plz! I'm extremely passive and service-oriented, so I freeze up if my
partner doesn't direct me.
11. Do you love someone on yourfriends watch list?
I absolutely love some people on my watch list platonically. Romantically, I'm definitely
beginning to develop some such feelings...
12. Do you know all the people on yourfriends watch list?
Oh, not in person, no. I don't even know a majority of them in terms of internet
contact, but I'm trying. There are a few people on there that I added because we share
interests and drawing tastes, so I can build up my courage to make friends with them.
n //n!
13. Would you choose love or money?
I want to say love, but given the way my life has been going, I'm going to go with 'money'.
Neither of them would make me happy by themselves, but money would allow me to do
things that would make me happy, while love has been restricting me from doing so. Not
proud of that answer, but it is true.
14. Your top three favorite kinks in bed?
Ohlordy that's hard, especially because they change as my kinky levels reach capacity...
Currently all just intense roleplaying scenarios: Breastfeeding, extreme gore/necrophilia,
powerplay.
15. Has anyone ever gone beyond your personal line of respect sexually?
Once, but that was due to a lack of communication. Got guilt tripped into giving oral in a
car because 'he bought me McDonalds'. Upon completion, I realized I could have just walked
the two blocks to where I was staying. - 3-'' Overall that whole night was a mess, though.
16. Where is the most romantic place you have had sex?
A hotel room, playing the lead characters from Scott Westerfeld's Leviathan Trilogy.
It was the first warm, private room we had to ourselves in over six months of homelessness
in San Francisco, playing characters who spend three straight books pining after each other in
a desperate confusion while having to put those feelings aside because there's a war going on.
Romantic settings for me and Dani are always in the mind, and it's part of the beauty in our
relationship. <3
17. Where is the weirdest place you have had sex?
Under a tree behind a police station in Salt Lake City, Utah.
18. Have you ever been caught having sex?
Augh, yes, twice. DX Both fucking times by my mom's gay friend, who could not for
the life of him learn to knock!!
19. Have you ever been to a strip club?
Not yet, still! D8 Got'ta work on doing that before I turn 22, and that's quickly approaching.
20. Ever been to a bar just to get sex?
Nope.
21. Ever been kicked out of a bar or a club for sexual reasons?
Nope.
22. Ever been picked up in a bar?
Nuh-uh.
23. Have you ever kissed or had sex with someone of the same sex?
And got engaged to - in terms of physical sex, anyway. Though yes to men, also. xP
24. What's your sexual preference?
Pansexual with a preference for masculine androgyny (i.e. masculine women, most
trans*peoples).
25. Had sex in a movie theater?
Yup!
26. Had sex in a bathroom?
Maybe, I'm not totally sure - I know I've jerked-off in one during that stint of homelessness.
27. Have you ever had sex at work?
Nope, I don't have a work! xD
28. Have you ever been in an "adult" store?
Oh yes.
29. Bought something from an adult store?
Many things.
30. Do you own any sex toys?
Ohfuck yes.
31. If yes, how many and what are they?
Twenty-seven!! > w< My lucky number ~ They are two packers (a big one and a tiny
one), two Doc Johnson Vac-u-lock dildos (a double penetrator and an average-sized one), a
normal-sized Feeldoe, a small jewel buttplug (pink and gold), six cock rings (various sizes),
a medium sized jelly buttplug, a Vasu the Naga from Bad Dragon (large, I think) with
cumtube, a clitoral pump, a bit gag, two adult size pacifiers, three collars (two custom, one
bondage-ready with three O-rings, one metal with a copper plate reading 'sweet boi'), purple
leather ankle cuffs, a blindfold, two knives devoted to knifeplay (previously scalpels), a dog
brush (for Big Brother), a simple flogger, a Flying Linguini, a 'SLUT' paddle, a riding crop, a
nylon cane (medium width), a pair of crappy, quick-release handcuffs... oh! Actually, I also
have a fire cupping set that I haven't successfully used. > x>
32. Does anyone have naughty pics of you or are you on film?
Oh yes. > //> Especially for a certain special friend of mine. <3
33. Have you ever had sex with someone and called them the wrong name?
Only technically, since Big Brother and I have sex as characters all the time. I'm sure it's
creepy when our roommates hear me shouting 'Daddy'. = //w//=
34. Have you ever had phone sex?
Yes, with someone who had a thing for mewling. > //w//>''
35. Have you ever had cyber sex?
So much.
36. Do you think oral sex constitutes a form of intercourse?
I do! It can transmit STIs after all! o:
This was fun, I hope you enjoyed. XD I went through the process of taking a huge picture of my
whole toy collection to make sure I knew how damn many we have. It was fun and worth it. - w-
Oh yesyesyes. > //w//>' But I'm a bit of an odd pidge in that I... consider sex to be
something that improves a friendship, rather than turning it into something else...
...I have indeed messed up some friendships like that. @ -@
2. Sex in the morning, afternoon or night?
Afternoon delight ~ I have weird hang-ups in the morning. n //n''
3. What side of the bed do you sleep on?
Inside - whichever side is against the wall.
4. Do you masturbate?
Daily.
5. How often? Lately?
Again, daily. Anyone who's been married for a while knows the whole 'you got off, I got off,
okay, goodnight' routine, and that's about where we are with me off T. Except we just use
our expensive vibrator instead of each other. ; //u//; Manual stimulation is hard.
6. Have you ever taken your clothes off for money?
Not yet, but it's practically been scheduled. Though 'taking clothes off' isn't 100% accurate...
7. Do you prefer showers or baths?
Baths! My poor legs and torso looove an opportunity to not hold up anything and be nice and
suspended for a bit.
8. Have you ever had sex in the shower or the bath?
Several times. When we still lived with Big Brother's parents, there was a lot of oral sex in
the standing shower. > //> And a few splashy occasions of sex in the bath.
9. Do you watch/read pornography? With other people?
I do indeed; I prefer written pornography, usually story driven and dripping with detail. In
terms of the visual stuff, I prefer that which you find around here - illustrated porn, though
I have more human than furry. As far as other people, though... only indirectly. I'll
share things with people through the 'net and roleplay in that regard. Big Brother and I
get all teenage boyish when we try to watch porn together and just end up making fun of it.
xD! Though we have recently discussed the possibility of my reading erotic works aloud for
play... > ////>
10. Do you want someone aggressive or passive in bed?
Aggressive plz! I'm extremely passive and service-oriented, so I freeze up if my
partner doesn't direct me.
11. Do you love someone on your
I absolutely love some people on my watch list platonically. Romantically, I'm definitely
beginning to develop some such feelings...
12. Do you know all the people on your
Oh, not in person, no. I don't even know a majority of them in terms of internet
contact, but I'm trying. There are a few people on there that I added because we share
interests and drawing tastes, so I can build up my courage to make friends with them.
n //n!
13. Would you choose love or money?
I want to say love, but given the way my life has been going, I'm going to go with 'money'.
Neither of them would make me happy by themselves, but money would allow me to do
things that would make me happy, while love has been restricting me from doing so. Not
proud of that answer, but it is true.
14. Your top three favorite kinks in bed?
Ohlordy that's hard, especially because they change as my kinky levels reach capacity...
Currently all just intense roleplaying scenarios: Breastfeeding, extreme gore/necrophilia,
powerplay.
15. Has anyone ever gone beyond your personal line of respect sexually?
Once, but that was due to a lack of communication. Got guilt tripped into giving oral in a
car because 'he bought me McDonalds'. Upon completion, I realized I could have just walked
the two blocks to where I was staying. - 3-'' Overall that whole night was a mess, though.
16. Where is the most romantic place you have had sex?
A hotel room, playing the lead characters from Scott Westerfeld's Leviathan Trilogy.
It was the first warm, private room we had to ourselves in over six months of homelessness
in San Francisco, playing characters who spend three straight books pining after each other in
a desperate confusion while having to put those feelings aside because there's a war going on.
Romantic settings for me and Dani are always in the mind, and it's part of the beauty in our
relationship. <3
17. Where is the weirdest place you have had sex?
Under a tree behind a police station in Salt Lake City, Utah.
18. Have you ever been caught having sex?
Augh, yes, twice. DX Both fucking times by my mom's gay friend, who could not for
the life of him learn to knock!!
19. Have you ever been to a strip club?
Not yet, still! D8 Got'ta work on doing that before I turn 22, and that's quickly approaching.
20. Ever been to a bar just to get sex?
Nope.
21. Ever been kicked out of a bar or a club for sexual reasons?
Nope.
22. Ever been picked up in a bar?
Nuh-uh.
23. Have you ever kissed or had sex with someone of the same sex?
And got engaged to - in terms of physical sex, anyway. Though yes to men, also. xP
24. What's your sexual preference?
Pansexual with a preference for masculine androgyny (i.e. masculine women, most
trans*peoples).
25. Had sex in a movie theater?
Yup!
26. Had sex in a bathroom?
Maybe, I'm not totally sure - I know I've jerked-off in one during that stint of homelessness.
27. Have you ever had sex at work?
Nope, I don't have a work! xD
28. Have you ever been in an "adult" store?
Oh yes.
29. Bought something from an adult store?
Many things.
30. Do you own any sex toys?
Oh
31. If yes, how many and what are they?
Twenty-seven!! > w< My lucky number ~ They are two packers (a big one and a tiny
one), two Doc Johnson Vac-u-lock dildos (a double penetrator and an average-sized one), a
normal-sized Feeldoe, a small jewel buttplug (pink and gold), six cock rings (various sizes),
a medium sized jelly buttplug, a Vasu the Naga from Bad Dragon (large, I think) with
cumtube, a clitoral pump, a bit gag, two adult size pacifiers, three collars (two custom, one
bondage-ready with three O-rings, one metal with a copper plate reading 'sweet boi'), purple
leather ankle cuffs, a blindfold, two knives devoted to knifeplay (previously scalpels), a dog
brush (for Big Brother), a simple flogger, a Flying Linguini, a 'SLUT' paddle, a riding crop, a
nylon cane (medium width), a pair of crappy, quick-release handcuffs... oh! Actually, I also
have a fire cupping set that I haven't successfully used. > x>
32. Does anyone have naughty pics of you or are you on film?
Oh yes. > //> Especially for a certain special friend of mine. <3
33. Have you ever had sex with someone and called them the wrong name?
Only technically, since Big Brother and I have sex as characters all the time. I'm sure it's
creepy when our roommates hear me shouting 'Daddy'. = //w//=
34. Have you ever had phone sex?
Yes, with someone who had a thing for mewling. > //w//>''
35. Have you ever had cyber sex?
So much.
36. Do you think oral sex constitutes a form of intercourse?
I do! It can transmit STIs after all! o:
This was fun, I hope you enjoyed. XD I went through the process of taking a huge picture of my
whole toy collection to make sure I knew how damn many we have. It was fun and worth it. - w-
Today is the day...
Posted 10 years ago...for country music.
♪ gon'na kick off my shoes and run in bare feet
where the grass and the dirt and the gravel all meet ♫Awesome YCH's by Liquid36/WelpeBlut!!
Posted 10 years agoI sure do love promoting artworks. :P
In a recent binge, I've been digging up (along with lots of bases), lots of awesome YCHs offered by
amazing artists. The primary ones are by an artist named liquid36 (aka welpeblut), who
hasn't done a whole lot of Your Character Here things before, but thus far has freaking amazing
ideas. While I have the extra change to participate in one of the pictures, I'm still on the poor
side, so the other is beyond my grasp for the time being.
The first is titled "Well Used" and is appropriately cock-covered, with an expensive and lofty
fullbody position available in the center for a high price. The varying cocks slots, however,
start at a measly $10! Even the autobuy price is cheap at $30. Most of the
slots are still completely empty!!
[ FIND IT HERE !! ]
TW: GORE/VORE
The second is a. maze. ing, especially given I have not otherwise seen many YCHs of this topic
before!! An outdoor barbecue wherein the main course is fukano, and everyone seems to
be quite pleased by the unique plate before them. This one I was incredibly excited about, but
at the price and with my want to increase my base collection, I'm tragically unable to afford the
entry fee. ; w;
[ FIND IT HERE !! ]
I hope you enjoy!! Even if not, please spread the word, I'd love to see the slots filled! C:Looking for Affordable, Beautiful Commissions?!
Posted 10 years agoLook no further!!
idogmeat (previously bioindustrial) is offering beautiful painted collaborations between
themselves and their partner for only $35!! While it may seem strange that I'm advertising so
vehemently without buying myself, that is simply how phenomenal I find the artwork that these
two are producing -- given I can't afford it currently, it seems like a sin to not pass their
information around in the hopes that someone else will buy it!!
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/6636238/
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/6636238/
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/6636238/
I CANNOT STRESS TO YOU ENOUGH HOW BEAUTIFUL THEIR ART IS GO BUY IT. ; AAA;
Better News [Comparatively]
Posted 10 years agoSo despite all the badness described in the last journal, things have been looking up --
little bit at least. My first YCH was autobought. The couples therapist who Big Brother
and I were seeing saw me for my hormone therapy referral, and was comfortable writing
the letter after the first appointment, instead of after two, which is delicious; got'ta
wait until after I actually see the endocrinologist to get excited, though, I'm not making
the preemptive-response mistake again in this situation.
No homelessness issues for now -- my mother decided to stick by her want to keep me
away from her perfect husband, while still abandoning her initial response to our landlord's
behaviour of '-gasp- oh we have to get you out of there!' So we're going to be stuck in
this hovel for another month, looking for somewhere else to live.
Commissions are still open!! c:
little bit at least. My first YCH was autobought. The couples therapist who Big Brother
and I were seeing saw me for my hormone therapy referral, and was comfortable writing
the letter after the first appointment, instead of after two, which is delicious; got'ta
wait until after I actually see the endocrinologist to get excited, though, I'm not making
the preemptive-response mistake again in this situation.
No homelessness issues for now -- my mother decided to stick by her want to keep me
away from her perfect husband, while still abandoning her initial response to our landlord's
behaviour of '-gasp- oh we have to get you out of there!' So we're going to be stuck in
this hovel for another month, looking for somewhere else to live.
Commissions are still open!! c:
Shit Circumstances [Vent Post]
Posted 10 years agoToday, the bad has officially gotten worse.
It was difficult enough to deal with our landlord's outrageous behaviour -refusing to acknowledge my
legal name change, accusing us of things we haven't done to damage the apartment- especially
when it reached the point of slandering us to potential renters.
It was slightly more difficult, though not impossible, to deal with the concept of our little sister, Megan,
coming out here for a visit during Spring Break. We hadn't seen her for nearly a year, and it was two
weeks before our moving date anyway.
It started escalating much more dramatically from there when we discovered that the pain that had
been steadily eating up my leg was an ankle sprain. Between the splint and the gabapentin controlling
the amount of pain throughout both my legs, things were looking up -- for, y'know, half a moment
anyway.
Until the gabapentin lodged its serrated claws in the back of my neck and pulled, its emotional side
effects (as they always do) tearing away my sense of sanity and reason to shove me over the edge.
In a night, impulsive terror and suicidality wracked my body and -in the slimmest of silver linings-
taught me what it might have been to have Borderline Personality Disorder, and that I am now beyond
certain that I do not have it.
The pain controller gone, ankle sprained, and within the night of my episode, what I thought was a
cold has progressed so severely that I am coughing breathlessly whenever I try to breathe, once even
to the point of vomiting. Back to the urgent care a day later, I'm told that I have acute bronchitis with
wheezing, given antibiotics, cough medicine, and an inhaler. It's March 28th and I can't even move
without coughing until I ache. I go to bed in so much physical pain that the pillow feels like knuckles
in my back -- my body is a bruise.
I call my mother today, as we had agreed that Dani and I would stay with her and her husband until
appropriate action was taken against our landlord, when we might be able to rent an apartment again.
According to her, that final agreement was never made. First we were going to stay with her to save
money, then realized SSI would have to be refiled and wasn't worth the risk. Then, we were going to
try to move out before the end of the money, spent $150 on a single rental application, and were
slandered against the renter. We determined that staying with my mother and her husband was the
obvious course of action, at least until we could ensure that we would even have the slightest possibility
of renting a new apartment.
She didn't remember *that part*. As far as she had decided for us, we would be staying here until we
found a new apartment, however she thinks *that* is going to happen. Our only option to applying for
a new apartment is either denying the right to contact our previous landlord and therefore having not
enough documented rental history as well as incriminating ourselves OR applying and 'just hoping' that
he doesn't make wild accusations one of the times, flushing hundreds of dollars down the drain in the
process.
She refuses to so much as address these concerns. I asked to know if she was going to let us stay with
them or if we should look for homeless shelters while we still have internet access, and she whined that
we wouldn't have to stay in a shelter, without giving us an explanation as to how. When I confronted
her with the cost, she decided that she suddenly had to get back to work.
The woman will not even help us. Her 'help' was telling me that she would bring us more small boxes,
which does little to help my illness and difficulty packing. My phone is broken (which it already was,
but now it's not even functional). We cannot even call our landlord to rescind our declaration of moving
out. My bitch mother will not respond to the text messages we've sent out through Dani's phone, either.
Helpless, useless, horrible. What the fuck do we do now?
It was difficult enough to deal with our landlord's outrageous behaviour -refusing to acknowledge my
legal name change, accusing us of things we haven't done to damage the apartment- especially
when it reached the point of slandering us to potential renters.
It was slightly more difficult, though not impossible, to deal with the concept of our little sister, Megan,
coming out here for a visit during Spring Break. We hadn't seen her for nearly a year, and it was two
weeks before our moving date anyway.
It started escalating much more dramatically from there when we discovered that the pain that had
been steadily eating up my leg was an ankle sprain. Between the splint and the gabapentin controlling
the amount of pain throughout both my legs, things were looking up -- for, y'know, half a moment
anyway.
Until the gabapentin lodged its serrated claws in the back of my neck and pulled, its emotional side
effects (as they always do) tearing away my sense of sanity and reason to shove me over the edge.
In a night, impulsive terror and suicidality wracked my body and -in the slimmest of silver linings-
taught me what it might have been to have Borderline Personality Disorder, and that I am now beyond
certain that I do not have it.
The pain controller gone, ankle sprained, and within the night of my episode, what I thought was a
cold has progressed so severely that I am coughing breathlessly whenever I try to breathe, once even
to the point of vomiting. Back to the urgent care a day later, I'm told that I have acute bronchitis with
wheezing, given antibiotics, cough medicine, and an inhaler. It's March 28th and I can't even move
without coughing until I ache. I go to bed in so much physical pain that the pillow feels like knuckles
in my back -- my body is a bruise.
I call my mother today, as we had agreed that Dani and I would stay with her and her husband until
appropriate action was taken against our landlord, when we might be able to rent an apartment again.
According to her, that final agreement was never made. First we were going to stay with her to save
money, then realized SSI would have to be refiled and wasn't worth the risk. Then, we were going to
try to move out before the end of the money, spent $150 on a single rental application, and were
slandered against the renter. We determined that staying with my mother and her husband was the
obvious course of action, at least until we could ensure that we would even have the slightest possibility
of renting a new apartment.
She didn't remember *that part*. As far as she had decided for us, we would be staying here until we
found a new apartment, however she thinks *that* is going to happen. Our only option to applying for
a new apartment is either denying the right to contact our previous landlord and therefore having not
enough documented rental history as well as incriminating ourselves OR applying and 'just hoping' that
he doesn't make wild accusations one of the times, flushing hundreds of dollars down the drain in the
process.
She refuses to so much as address these concerns. I asked to know if she was going to let us stay with
them or if we should look for homeless shelters while we still have internet access, and she whined that
we wouldn't have to stay in a shelter, without giving us an explanation as to how. When I confronted
her with the cost, she decided that she suddenly had to get back to work.
The woman will not even help us. Her 'help' was telling me that she would bring us more small boxes,
which does little to help my illness and difficulty packing. My phone is broken (which it already was,
but now it's not even functional). We cannot even call our landlord to rescind our declaration of moving
out. My bitch mother will not respond to the text messages we've sent out through Dani's phone, either.
Helpless, useless, horrible. What the fuck do we do now?
Recent Absence
Posted 10 years ago
So obviously I've been gone for a couple days (if anyone's noticed). Emotions
are fine, had to stop taking the gabapentin after it caused a bit of a mental breakdown.
Mostly I've been gone because I contracted bronchitis. So with that + no longer
having the meds that were lowering my fibromyalgia pain, I have been prettymuch
bedlocked for the past two days, and intend to continue that.Misunderstandings
Posted 10 years agoI had a nice day today that was absolutely saturated with them.
Got'ta love that developmental gap in abilities. Smart enough to use big words,
but too stupid to know how other people perceive them.
-sigh-
I should just stick to my hermetic corner, it tends to work out better that way.
Churn out art, be a shoulder to cry on, nothing else.
Work on building up that dissociative disorder.Commission Rules & Regulations
Posted 10 years ago↱ Commission Prices: ↲
T = traditional | CG = computer graphics
Artist's Choice (T/CG) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . PWYW, $5+
(2 characters for $10+, 3 for $15+, etc.)
Basic Sketch (T/CG) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $7
Lineart (T/CG) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $10
Shaded Sketch (T/CG) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $15
Flat-coloured Lineart (CG) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $15
Full Colour (T) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $25
Full Colour (CG) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $35
Reference sheets (T/CG) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $50+
Highlights (no shading), includes NSFW and SFW
Additional Characters . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . +$10 / each
NSFW . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . +50% of cost
Experimental Background (CG) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $5
Simple Background . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $5
Complex Background . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $15+
Reference Sheets [Waitress base] . . . . . . . . . . . . . $30
2 outfit chibis included . . . . . . . . . . . . . more +$2 / ea
Custom Edits . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . +$10
Character Designs [Waitress base] . . . . . . . . . $10 - $15
(comes with free icon!)
Include Artist's Choice Piece . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Price x2
Option: Streaming! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . UNAVAILABLE↱ Rules: ↲
1. I reserve the right to refuse or refund a commission at any time, for any reason.
2. All prices are negotiable!
3. For just the cost of shipping, I will send you the original copy of your traditional piece!
4. I can't draw in other peoples' styles, please don't ask me to.
5. You'll get two WIPs. As of yet, I have no streaming service.
6. You can have my sketches or lineart finished by other artists, as long as you give me
credit and don't remove my signature.
7. Steal my art and I'll cut you.
8. I am open to doing private commissions, just provide an email account. c:
9. Repeat offenses of any rules will result in your being blacklisted.
↱ Will Draw: ↲
Any gender/sexuality, any race/species, backgrounds, tasteful nudity, NSFW subject matter, unique
bodies/faces, wings, most kinks (most is not all), vore, gore, abuse/rape, select canon
characters (ask for more info), most fan characters.
↱ Won't Draw: ↲
Particular art styles, ferals (no ethics, I'm just crap at non-humanoid body types), reptillian
heads (trying, still failing), colour vomit, scat (including messy diapers), soft vore, extreme
muscularity, MLP canon OR feral (anthro fan characters only), most canon characters, hate artwork,
stream commissions (my skill level just doesn't allow for that currently).
↱ Process: ↲
1. After making certain that I have slots open and filling out the form provided (above/below),
send it to me in a note and we'll discuss any specifics that need to be clarified and a price will be agreed
upon. I will send you a Paypal invoice; while you're welcome to pay it immediately, I will only
require payment after you've gotten the first WIP.
2. You'll receive two WIPs, one after I've finished the base sketch and once after I finish the flat
colouring, where I'll allow you to request (or redline, if you'd like) any changes that should be made to
the pose, body language, expression, construction, or colour. When I've finished the picture, you are
welcome to any variations in shading, lineart, and background colours that you want until you're
satisfied . c:
3. You'll receive several versions of the finalized piece, including but not limited to a full-sized
PNG, a resized PNG, and a consolidated PSD with background (if requested).
4. If you intend to upload the image to FurAffinity, I request that you simply include credit with
a link to my profile or a link to the image as uploaded on my account.
5. If you wouldn't mind, I'd appreciate a review of the services you received here. Thank
you!!
↱ Commission Form: ↲
Not needed for PWYW commissions.
Please remove everything in parenthesis!
Customer. (Your main account username.)
Commission Type. (Lineart, sketch, traditional, CG, etc.)
Character. (Description and image references, please.)
Personalities/Relationship. (So I have an idea of who they are/how they interact.)
Scene. (Overall, what you want the scene to be.)
Emotion. (The feeling you want from the scene; romantic, sad, happy, etc.)
Background. Y/N (Description and/or image references, if you want a background.)
↱ Reference Sheet Form: ↲
Please remove everything in parenthesis!
Customer. (Your main account username.)
Colour Scheme. (What colours you'd prefer the background/font to be.)
Maturity Rating. (General / Mature / Adult)
Character Name & References. (Name and image references only - descriptions expected
below.)
Character Information. (Whatever information you want displayed on the image. Please use paragraph
spacing if the information is extensive.)
Character Appearance. (Detailed character appearance information, from front and back.)
Close-up Details. (Anything you want to be zoomed-up on; piercings or special markings or eyes or
whatever.)
Clothed Fullbody. Y/N - (Details for the clothing that you want the character to be wearing.)
Alternate Forms? Y/N - (Options : Feral, child (age), and/or other (goo, plushie, chibi, etc.))
Clothing References? Y/N - (Amount and specifics.)
Inventory? Y/N - (List of objects and either descriptions or picture references (if necessary).)
Favourite Fetish Reference? Y/N - (What it is, preference on the scene you'd like to display it.)
↱ Disclaimers!!↲
** With regard to NSFW and rape/abuse artwork - I will not condone drawings meant to threaten or
dehumanize anyone. I require consent of all parties involved before drawing anything considered
an 'extreme' fetish or involving consensual nonconsent of any sort.[/center]
Saving for a new tablet! [GoFundMe]
Posted 10 years agoI dun'no how many people I've seen already posting information for their GoFundMe's or Kickstarter's
or Patreon's, but I'm joining the bandwagon for a menial and hopefully short term reason. That is,
I've had my current tablet for nearly three years and, while I replaced the cord and have it working
well enough, it's reaching the point of faultering and stuttering about on weird little problems. I'm
hoping that I'll be able to replace it before I reach a point of being unable to work toward the financial
goal at all.
Big Brother's mom agreed to help me out with the fee, as well, so if I can raise at least half of it on
my own, she'll match it to pay for the product in full. Plus, the US Wacom site offers free shipping
on products over $50, which is a nice bonus.
In any case: If you have the extra funds, please help me earn my way to a new tablet!
GOFUNDME HERE!!Updates in the Real World
Posted 10 years agoI realized lately that I haven't really given anyone real information about my
life in my journals, so I figure that getting in that habit is probably a good idea, given how
hectic my life can get.
Right off the bat, I'm a fantastically twisted individual IRL -- the facade that I've developed
and honed over the years serves now only as a mask that I can use on the internet. It is
me, but with every bomb around the edges cleverly defused. As it stands, I currently have
a list of diagnoses including PTSD, Bipolar Disorder, Dysthymic Disorder, Social Phobia, OCD,
LPR (Laryngopharyngeal Reflux, a variant of acid reflux), severe dismenorrhea, gender
dysphoria, and Fibromyalgia. Seems excessive, I know, and dealing with it is a bitch and
a half -- I've spent most of my life trying to arrange my diagnoses into something sensible
that can be managed appropriately, but that has yet to come to fruition. Hopefully I'll be
able to swap out a portion of the mental diagnoses with something more fitting overall,
that will actually allow for any kind of therapeutic help to, y'know, help.
Currently, Big Brother and I are trying to get out of our shithole of an apartment, but we're
meeting some bizarre resistance, primarily from the landlord. While it's a terrible situation,
it did grant us an offer from another apartment building that will allow us to move into the
next available unit. Priceless, sure, if only we had some idea of when that was going to be,
and somewhere to stay in-between.
I've also been on the computer more than I've been since I was still in high school, despite
not being around so much. This is because I've been hard at work beefing up my
portfolio with as much artwork as I can manage, trying to express every little variation
of work I can produce, or at least that I intend to offer to you lovely folks once I finally
open up my commission. Speaking of which, thanks to any new watchers!! I'm almost
at 50, which is more than I ever expected to have ~
All-in-all, life has been stressful but relatively rewarding over the past few months, so
I can only hope that it continues to be so.
- Billy