If you'd like, ask me some "would you rather" questions. I think that would be fun!

Sometimes when I have too much time on my hands I like to sit and think about how sad it is that there isn't much of a market for second-hand dildos. Nobody ever seems to be looking for used or like new dildos. I think it's a shame that we've become such a disposable society. After all, some four year old in Indonesia put his blood, sweat, and tears making that for you. Yet, some selfish people over here take that for granted and have little regard for the underage sweatshop labor that goes into bringing you pleasure on those lowly, lonely nights. You know, when it's just you and an angry cock shaped inanimate object you have crammed inside of you.

So people, just don't throw away your used dildos. Sell them on Ebay, Amazon, Craigslist, or even donate them to your local Goodwill store. Pass them down to your grandkids as if it was cherished as some kind of family heirloom. Look, the next time you think about discarding your old, used dildos like they're just a piece of garbage. Stop and and think about that poor Indonesian boy who put his care and craftsmanship that went into making that lifeless apparatus that you enjoy shoving up your orifices.

Don't be so wasteful, but if you must throw them away don't just toss them into a trash can somewhere. Put them in your recycle bin. The last thing we need is for all of your used dildos is to clutter up all the landfills. Besides, the guys at the recycling plant get a kick out of recycling big rubber dicks. A big rubber dick today could be a car tire or a pacifier tomorrow. Save the earth and recycle. Let's not make that 1970s public service announcement ad Indian cry again. I mean, that was embarrassing when he began to cry as he saw that empty beer can, or 3 Musketeers wrapper floating down the river. Just imagine what kind of temper tantrum he's going to throw if he ever stumbles upon a landfill with your used dildos.

Hey there moms and dads,
I see that Senior prom season is fast approaching. Which means you will flood social media with pictures of your dorky kids standing outside by a limousine in their tuxedos and prom dresses. I think it's wonderful that you parents take the time to document the hours before your daughter's
deflowering. Remember, you just spent several hundred dollars on a prom dress for your daughter that within a few hours it's going to end up on a motel room floor somewhere. By the end of the night the only thing she's going to be wearing is a pearl necklace.

That's right, your daughter is going to be covered in so much of her prom date's salty liquid dick sugar that she is going to look like the opening scene of Law and Order:SVU. You wont be able to tell the difference between your daughter or the inside of a vault at the sperm bank. You're going
to mistake your daughter for the Creature From The Black Lagoon. That is if the Creature was from a black lagoon that's filled with that was full of her prom date's cum. She's going to look like
the Rocky statue that's covered in pigeon fecal matter. Except, the pigeon feces isn't pigeon feces. She's going to be one big walking mountain of spunk.

Parents, this isn't just about your minxy daughters. No, it's about their dates too. Hopefully your daughter's date is a true gentleman, because a true gentleman would at least ejaculate on
her tits, or do her in the ass. If he's not, well then you better hope the school puts a big bowl of morning after pills right next to the prom punch. Otherwise the only graduation walk your daughter will be doing on graduation day is walking to Planned Parenthood.

Aww, your kids sure grow up fast don't they? It seemed like it was just yesterday you were dropping them off at nursery school and now here they are in some strange motel room taking loads to
the face. Happy prom season moms and dads. #proudparents #lifesspecialmoments

If you have questions for me. I just might have an answer.

If you've got questions for me, I'll have some answers for ya.

Got any questions? I might have answers.

I just saw that a talking sex robot that comes equipped with warm genitals that's going up for sale next year. Wow, sex dolls have come a long way from the blowup variety that had yarn pubic hair and clown like helium tank mouths that my creepy uncle had sex with back in the 1980s.

I'd love to have one of these new sex robots. The warm genitals seems like an excellent touch. However, I could do without all the talking. Who the hell wants a sex doll that can talk? Look everyone, if I wanted a sex doll that could talk, I would just have sex with my little cousin's Teddy Ruxpin.

Got anything to ask, go for it! If you wanna keep it anon, I have CuriousCat too.
https://curiouscat.me/WolfangCerberus

If you'd like to ask or confess something, you may here.
https://curiouscat.me/WolfangCerberus

Or you can on FA as well. Either one is fine

Hit me up with some naughty like questions. Or just anything really.

Ask me anything you want.

Ask me things!

Oh my! In the wake of the Orlando night club shooting I see that the Indians are all upset with the gays for taking all the credit for being victims of America's deadliest mass shooting. Apparently the Indians argue that they had hundreds and hundreds of more of their own people slaughtered during the Wounded Knee massacre. Simmer down people. I think that everyone can agree that both the Orlando night club shooting and the Wounded Knee massacre were deadly. Does it really matter which one was deadlier?

Look, whenever you gays and Indians bicker just remember the gay Indian from the Village People is stuck somewhere in the middle. Don't make the gay Indian from the Village People have to choose between the gays or the Indians. It's like making a child have to choose which parent to live with after a divorce.

So next time you war painted savages and interior decorators want to be a bitch to one another, please stop and think about how your actions and constant fighting are going to effect the gay Indian from the Village People. I mean, let's face it. The last thing we need is for the gay Indian from the Village People is to start welling up like that overly sensitive Indian from those 1970s pollution PSA ads used to do every time that sensitive Indian sees an empty beer can floating down the river.

You got questions? I have answers.

I see the University of Washington has recently been terrorized by what they are calling a "serial masturbating ninja." Oops! Is this ninja violating someone's safe space? Has masturbating in a ninja outfit all of a sudden become a micro-aggression against marginalized students?

I'm very confused by all of this. I thought universities were all about diversity and tolerance. Yet you don't seem very tolerant of masturbating ninjas. After all, who would you say is the most marginalized group on campus is these days? I think masturbating ninjas have likely been the most unrepresented group on any campus since late 1500s Japan.

Masturbating ninjas have no campus voice. They don't have any organized student coalitions, and they certainly don't receive any of your special affirmative action protections when it comes to things like enrollment admittance. I have heard of the United Negro College Fund, but I've never heard of the United Masturbating Ninja College Fund. Furthermore, there is no box to check for masturbating ninjas on the United States Census Form. Unless of course they fall into that ever adorable category the government likes to refer to as "other".

So where do you elitist academia pricks get off discriminating the most marginalized group since the 16th century? Now look, am I supposed to be against this ninja because you think his masturbatory acts are misogynistic, or am I supposed to be against him because his acts might be considered offensive to ancient covert warriors of feudal Japan?

Please tell me millennials as to why I should be offended by this masturbating ninja so I can feign outrage just like all you social networking warrior assholes do every time someone draws a shit swastika, or someone fakes being in the military with a false uniform. Sorry, but I'm going to be rooting for the masturbating ninja. I hope that he never gets caught. I hope that he leaves his enormous wads of spunk behind for all of you college kids to clean.

My advice is you college kids should stock up on old t-shirts and dirty socks. You're going to be cleaning up ninja jizz instead of attending your 2pm racial studies course. Happy spunk removal you dicks!

Got any questions? I have answers.

You have a question for me? I'll have an answer for you. ^^

You know what to do.

Wanna know something about me? Just ask away.

Ask me things!

You know what to do.

Well then you can ask me here of course. I should have an answer.

You know what to do.

Anything you'd like to ask? I just might have an answer.

Anything you want to ask? I just might have an answer.