so im finding more about myself. a big thing is my dopamine fix. Its coming from wanting to be sub. i wanna lose control. i want to be controlled. but it so hard to find someone to take me they eather disapper on me or tell me lies.... uggg its such a pain

So its been awhile since i made a journal so its time to update on my life

i got a vr headset and been heading into vr
now an elite in the bclub and im questioning some of the people who call my friends on there if there just friends becuse im an elite
iv picked up streaming after taking a break for 4 months of not streaming to pursue it as a hobby again forgot how fun it was

iv gotten 2 raises at my current work for being loyal and trust worthy ((pays to be a wolf))
i waited for a girl for 3 months just to feel like a clown

im still bad at starting convos and moving my life along
my life has been a bit of a roller coaster and i dont know how i feel

eather way i hope everyone is safe

may the moon guide you

Im still moving around and im still working iv learned people are getting stupider and having to tell adults what to do like an adult baby sitter so annoying -.-

when im home im not doing to much iv picked up streaming more and more and is affiliated and has had a paid out here and there its kinda nice when it happens made great friends and people

either or i hope everyone is safe and smart

I know i don't talk much or let me presents but known as well. But I'm here if wanting to talk to i know a lot of people have issues and so do i personally but if you need an ear Im always where with a simple note away.

as well I started picking up streaming iv already become affiliated and having a lot of fun. If you do want to stop by send a note ill drop my discord and a link to my twitch

As the old saying goes ((the tittle becuse i feel like i dont want to retype it but it is what it is)) so looking back thrghout the year if personally had highs and lows between friends and family and even on here iv picked up streaming and on the technalcle side to where now i can have a stream physcially do stuff in minecraft like give me stuff and do other things. i work at my job for now a year being paid decently and my house sistuation is ... decent my kitchen as been teared up for 4 months now as we wait for JUST THE SINK but it is what it is im going to try to be less... akward but idk if that will change "possitive thought" right? eather or hope the new year is better for me .. and new year is better for you

I just wanted to wright something seeing how you were doing ya you reading this .... that one person that is reading i appreciate it eather im tired im sick and im already done with work my life is going ok lost friends gained some streaming lightly and im playing a moble game that takes more of my time called grand chase idk thats all hope everything else is ok

i wanna join second life but im not fully sure how to do it any tips or help anyone wanna give to help me understand i dont wanna be in there not knowing what im doing or in the default stuff sadly