Sorry Everyone for not telling you that I have moved for a good few years. I am now !

If you are interested in following my artwork, it will be posted there, all activity will be made on there.

If you want to talk to me on discord, I am Orion#1355

Alright, so I gained a few jobs and have been focusing on them while playing some games to help release some tension. Its either that or shitpost on tumblr about my undying love for Grillby because he's hot shit 'n all.

There is a huge project going on, so I've been writing down everything I need, getting everything in order. I am at a good point to where I can relax on that and my main job so that I now focus on what I need to. I've also taken some time and officially come out as not completely female. I accept that i am female, but I also feel so male. You are still free to refer me as she/her, even when I am male, as long as you don't directly call me as a man or woman. I might bite my tongue on it, but it does make me feel uneasy when it happens

I've also shown my Ranna to a few friends and they were happy to see her, they insisted that i'd keep her, if not as my Main as she always was, but as my secondary. I thought about it and I agreed. She does have painful memories, she's gone through a lot, and I lost connection to her. However, she is still a part of me. She's been with me for years. Evolving as I have. So, after one last revamp, Ranna is reborn:
-The moon mark over her right eye is gone, instead its moved to her back, with some wings.
-Instead of a red tint to her hair a purple tint will take place
-She's no longer wearing a poncho, tank and skirt. Instead she's wearing something that is more gender neutral
-Ranna has a male side, who is named Adrian (an actual name I go by), minor differences will take affect.


Outside of this, i've been practicing voice acting. Its not easy, I've had my Des voice down, just not perfected. So i've been playing with a friend of mine while taking cues from others (if possible) to learn how to act. I might post any voice clips that I've done after I gain confidence.

If you need to contact me, you can pester me on skype (rannades) or on tumblr (randomlydes) so long as you tell me who you are and how you found me. I do check my phone during break when I'm at work, or try to check often when I am doing everything else

With good reason, too.

I needed to take my mind off of things, which helped a lot. I still need to submit things on both accounts, but I haven't felt up to it because too much was on my mind

I detached myself from Ranna, and everything connected to her, and returned to my original 'sona, Des. It might hurt a lot of people, but with her gone, the usual things about her that is connected to me is gone. Her moon, her sun, her star. Gone. It wasn't easy, but its gone, and now I am able to focus on new interests and tastes. Try out new things. I've gained new friends and focused on them while I healed, and it helped. In a bit of time, You will see that I will change my character icons TO Des, and just leave Ranna behind. Truth be told... I stopped feeling like Ranna for quite a while. I've tried changing her up, making her feel like me.. .but in the end, she wasn't me.. It seems like I stopped connecting with her that it was just hard to keep her afloat. Ranna would smile, and be happy, but she always had that hidden sadness every time I drawn her. With Des, I was able to be her. Puppy-like and always causing trouble/havoc among her friends.

If you are on my skype and notice that I am online more often, instead of being invisible, but you see that I don't respond much... its because I still don't know how to respond so much. I can only respond if I know what I can say, or if I can spare the time to really talk. A few of you would poke me even if I am invisible, some already knows that I will see what you want to show me. But I am not good with small talk. On top of that. I am usually in a call with my group or one of my friends. I tend to focus on them.

I got a project coming up. I will be making a Undertale comic that will be voiced by a good friend of mine who voices Grillby in the tumblies. Right now we are working on the script and seeing if we might need any extra help in voicing them.

Other than that, I am sorry for still being in my slump. Things are looking up for me, but I still got a few stragglers in depression. You are free to nag at me if you need to

My previous YCH's are done, and already been shoved at their owners weeks ago. But i've haven't been feeling it.

Im going to open up PWYW chibies again soon enough. I need to get back to work. I also got two more YCH's to shove out. There is just so much to do..

I'll be fine though. Just showing you guys I am still alive.

I'll be submitting the chibies soon enough

I've been craving to do icons for a long while now. Heck I've been wanting a new icon for myself (however no ideas comes to mind. I'll be selling icons for $5 each, they will be fully colored and shaded. If you want a double or more, I'll just add 2-3 dollars to the additional icons.

No animated or painted icons, as it will take too much time and I don't want to make more people to wait. Even if I already have a base for it, I won't accept any animated icon sets

All I need is your ref and what kind of icon you would like. I will note you with a sketch of your icon as well as payment info. If you would like a invoice sent, be sure to include it with the request (I'll ask for the info needed)

Slots
1
2
3
4
5

IM SO EXCITED WHOAAAHHOOOOO



I got a quite a bit done and I am pretty happy, because now I can open for more PWYW chibies (and soon, pinups). In the next few days I'll be putting my pictures out and then I'll be seeing if I am missing anything. So far i think I am good.


now, i'll just relax and get ready for bed. I'm exhausted tbh

Okay okay okay, I just learned that my high school buddy is now here on FA.


Believe it or not, its thanks to her that I chosen to strengthen my art desire. I am very thankful to her and want to continue to climb up with her in the coming years too.

So... I has a request. Shower her with love and stalk her like I am because I said so! At least check her out if you got the time XD

http://www.furaffinity.net/user/mamuemu/

today I will focus mainly on my SFW list. My NSFW I always do it when i feel completely alone (which is a challenge)

On my NSFW, i won't continue that line until I finish my current 4 projects on it. For some I need to ink, for other i just need to shade it.

For my SFW, I'll continue to do PWYW Chibies, for anyone and everyone. But If someone wants me to draw more, I'd prefer to go with repeat customers (as they are familiar with how I work). So full bodies poses and what not will be limited.

THIS IS UNTIL I FEEL RELAXED. When my NSFW is completed, And until I feel like I can freely do more.


Current List:
Kimi Chibies x2 pictures
Ursie Femboi x1
Aimi Chibi x1
Tsuki Ref

I can add more if you want a PWYW chibi (I will only sketch it for approval and finish it after i finish the works before yours). I've only included the major pictures, so any "I'd like another picture" isn't included because I'd like to focus on works I've already started and been paid for.

I've been depressed, and upset at myself. I've been hating how I am living right now. But that is all on me. I just need to slap myself silly and just do what I can. I am sorry for being a flake, I don't like people waiting on me. This silly puppy just needs to stop being so angry at herself.

Whenever i have the spare time, I will respond to messages whether they are notes from here or anywhere people ends up finding me. If you find me on other sites and you do not know if it is me, you can contact me here to make sure.

However, there are certain things to keep in mind when you do try to keep in contact with me:

-For one thing, overall, I am not talkative. One of my dearest friends knows that I love seeing her messages, no matter if its a greeting, or if its to show me something silly. She also knows that if I am there and she needs me, I'd be responding to her in a heartbeat. I care for all of my friends, but I am not a good friend in general. Regular talks isn't my thing, some of the times I do end up forcing myself, and that drains me. So, for many cases, expect either slow or dropped conversations. Its not you, its more of the fact that I like to be in my world. Just be aware that I see everything you send me, even if I don't respond.

-If you find me on other sites, you can hit me up on there, if you don't think its me, message where you do know its really me. I will tell you right away if that is the real deal or not.

-If you find me on skype, and you add me, I HAVE to have a reason why you want to be on my list. I don't like randoms very much. If you need to commission me, or if you want to try to be friends and you found me on so-so site, I need to know

-If you are on my Steam, I hate being messaged there. I find it stupid and annoying, especially when I play my games. I've recently edited my settings to where i won't get the pop ups anymore, or the sounds. If you need me, and you have my skype/facebook/twitter, then hit me up there. Otherwise your messages WILL be ignored, no matter how important this is.

-Facebook is facebook, if you find me, YAY. I might not add you or let you add me, though. I try to keep it towards select friends, and family. I only keep FB for messenger, anyways. But I will say that I've seen quite a few familiar faces through the suggested friends bit. But you probably won't recognize me unless you are familiar with my real name.

Whether I am at work, drawing, or playing games. I am always doing something. I am sorry for sounding like a big dick, but I like my space. I've been alone for so long, that I am used to staying alone. I've had a lot of great friends at one time, but in the end, I can't manage anyone truly trustworthy. Most wants something from me, and its not what I can give them.... And I am just sick and tired of constantly reminding them that fact.

Anyways... I figured to have this off my chest so I can go back underground and do what I can

i've spent quite a while working on my stream preparation, and i've realized that anything WHITE turns black, when they are not supposed to as I view it through a small preview. I do not know if this is a bug, if I did something wrong, or anything. It just happened.

I do not know if its me, or if it's Picarto.



If you still want a chibi sketch, I am still selling some for at least $5 per character. I won't push this, because of the issues, though, as I wanted to stream.

I've been trying to draw for several days now. I did slow progress. At first its me fighting with my tablet, now its me fighting my desire to make things right. which takes forever!

But on top of that, I am juggling my second job, and helping my sister with her's. We will be on the Scare Team for Halloween Haunt at Kings Island this year! I will be a clown while she will be a very deadly prep-girl. In a matter of weeks we will be popping out at people and going silly crazy at them! :D Sadly, our days of prep/practice are on different days until it officially starts.

Other than that, I shamefully found myself with Fallout Shelter. I've been killing my phone playing this game and figuring out how to not let my people die so fast, which is rather hard because I've became quite taken in the process of making babies. SERIOUSLY! They just make out in the back room for a few seconds and BAM she's preggos.



Oh and in other news. I will be selling quick chibies in a few days to shake things up of my art schedule. Would mostly be in the evening, so keep an eye out

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/17509438/

No one has bid yet, but that is alright. If no one wants it, then I will take it as my own and once again attempt to finish it off.


I've had that pose for more than a year. Its amazing how long its been unclaimed

For a bit now, I've been thinking on letting Ranna go.


Right now, she's bringing way too many bad memories. When I first ironed her out, I was still in highschool, and I was with my Ex. She helped me feel like I can be who I wished to be. She helped me pretend to be happy, and that I am not a failure. She adapted with me, she went from a straight black wolf with yellow eyes, to something more than that. She was a mutt, she was a mixed breed, and she had confidence. She didn't care that she isn't a pure bred. She had enough love for her friends, she was protective, and she was more out of her "rabbit hole" than her real counterpart. Hell, I even made her skinnier than the real me!


She had droopy ears. You'd think it was because they were heavy, nope, it was because she ended up reflecting how depressed I was IRL. They hung to the side, not all the way up, or down, like she was struggling to show she was happy. After a while, they just kept feeling like they are getting bigger, thus being too heavy to exactly perk up enough. Even though I sorta loved the idea of having floppy-dopy ears, the droop's origin is sad.

I've ended up realizing, that I wanted to make an affectionate picture of Ranna and her beloved. Not just friendly, silly pictures with her friends. Affectionate pictures. Loving Pictures. But each and every time. I ended up afraid. Scared of something that shouldn't have bothered me now. There are several pieces in my folders right now of her where she is embracing her beloved, on a date with her beloved. I craved to draw such loving works. And yet I am still afraid. Why? Because of my EX, of course!

I can't believe that I am stuck in the rut and was made to feel that my enjoyment in this community was shameful. I was ashamed when I tried to share that I enjoyed pinups, and made some money off it. Hell, any mention off of this was met with a not pleasing response. I was encouraged to draw the works when the inspirations hit NOW. After I left him, AFTER I freed myself from that man. I still end up becoming chicken. HELL, I want to do smut of Ranna and her love, and post it without fear. What am I so afraid of? That he'd see it now? WHO THE FRIG CARES!?

That man made me a doll. He made me deeper into my shell than I was before. He made me feel like shit. I was so happy that I left him and moved on. I became content with what I've had after leaving him.

-breaths-

I need to feel good with Ranna again. or, I'll just let her go for good. Right now, its doesn't feel good enough to do anything with her, anymore.

I'll mostly use Des and maybe a new furry character to replace Ranna for a bit

While I promised myself to be more active. I just can't when I have no reason to push forward. Im out of commission for now, but I'll struggle to get what the paintings done before I vanish completely

I've been trying to get a bite to eat today, and failed.

Since I will be dealing with hunger headaches and a protesting stomach, I don't think it is wise to focus on art :T At this time, the moment I succeed in getting a bite to eat, it might be too late for me to stream anyways.


D: Sorry for not being able to stream, guys

I seriously need to start raising money. I have a medical bill to pay, as well as future rent bills, and internet bills... But I also want to save money for my future goals that isn't set in stone yet.

So, this is what I plan (artwise) to hopefully balance my current commissions with what I want to sell:

Right now I have quite a few pinups being worked on, five are paintings, and the rest of them are just waiting to be inked/colored/shaded. I would like to focus on the beginning of the week (Sunday-Tuesday).

I want to sell cheap chibies along side these pinups, as well as some Google-Eye icons so i can make some extra money. I will focus Wednesday-Friday on these, even do some streams so people can watch me do them. I also might do these chibies during the beginning of the week, but only if I desire to have a small break from the pinups I want to focus on.

Saturdays are just simply my days off. No matter what. If I desire to draw, it will be anything I want to draw.

---

Im having an issue with time management with all the things I want to do. I wanted to put my stories into games, I want to do so many projects, I want to make money so I don't stress about not being able to eat or pay the bills. I have a bad habit of stressing out because i piled up too much on me. I have a bad habit of wanting to do so much in such little time that I can only think that I am doing this to mirror my father's work-a-holic habits... Its frustrating.

But hopefully this will help me both make money and get old project done in good time. For one thing. I am going to strictly avoid selling any other works outside the icon/chibi deal i've mentioned. Not until the current big commissions are done.

From when I started on furaffinity over 6 years ago, to this very moment when a certain suck up-- I mean... wonderful fox.. pointing out that I am now exactly 8000 views. If I joined my naughty account, I bet I'd be even higher because who doesn't like smutt... But I have chosen to have two accounts for those who wants to feel comfortable with just ONE account. I personally don't think smutt would look good right next to pictures of cubs... I like my sweet and spicy foods separate, sometimes

It is a good milestone, indeed, but I don't think I'll give a freebi Kiriban or what nots until I gain a total of 600 watchers. It will be enough time to focus on specific works a bit more as well as gain more attention for my project where I'll draw my Des in different styles every week or two.


I hope to climb up further, I hope to avoid getting discouraged and continue on my goal. I hope to actually put my little stories into games. I hope to be one of those trustworthy artists that people can go to. But until I get my foot out of my bum and actually stop getting discouraged so easily. I won't be trustworthy enough to deliver artwork at a good pace for my watchers.


Thank you, everyone, for taking the time to look at my account. Once again.. 8000 views is a huge feat, and I wouldn't have gotten this far without you.

---

In other news, if you happen to find leongon's stream last night, be prepared in some submissions later on today!

I've been thinking about this for the past year. I have accounts/pages of both, however, I am still unsure. So please. tell me your thoughts. Your positive AND negative thoughts


For one, I don't want to be attached to twitter, but I think it would be one good neutral ground for anyone in the future. I think it would be good to come up with some request streams and use twitter to take part. Especially when it comes to practice sketch styles. Maybe someone can teach me how to be twitter savvy o-o

And for Patreon, this is harder. I want simple support, but I don't want to make people feel like I am ripping them off. I want to make things free for everyone. Even if it means that my supporters can view the free things sooner than anyone else...


I still want to iron out these ideas. So if you share your thoughts, that would be wonderful

Please read before you end up raging at me >///<

Alright, so... every day I have to bite my tongue because I have to scan a boat load of junk food for people who are planning on using food stamps. Half the time I have to do separate transactions because they also want to buy smokes or whatever. This takes a bit of time, and even more-so a line just HAPPEN to grow and my co-workers just HAPPEN to not be close enough for me to call over without risking to leave my register.

It bugs me because I work at a gas station. It bugs me because we mostly sell junk food here and so narrows out what they would buy. It bugs me because these people will waste available money on their card just to buy said junk food instead of things they would NEED. It bugs me when these people buy up to 3 whole bags worth of junk food and then go through more (and sometimes separate for each) transactions for cigarettes.

And yes, while I don't live on welfare, while I don't live on these foodstamps cards to buy food. I have lived on food stamps before. My mother was just a single mother raising two daughters alone as the father of the oldest had problems with child support and the father of the youngest was in jail for being a sick f**k. She hated it, but it helped us survive and live through. I was just a young, ignorant child who didn't understand and just saw pictures on paper that said that we can get this or that. I helped by looking for those items and took them to the cart. I wanted this cereal, but I had to get that cereal because its on the picture. If mother had enough money for extra things, she'd try to get things we need over the things we want.

Now... I don't know what kind of lives they live. It's none of my business. I know this. Its just... I don't like it when they use their money for junk food instead of food that would be good in the long run. Its good to have treats now and again, so when I see a group of people with a drink and a bag of chips (each), I don't feel as bad because its limited. Its just when these people try to buy the whole store is when I start having silent issues.

-sighs- Puppy rant over...

Im now 23. Yay...


Can't believe that I survived this long.... Its almost ... scary. My father was told by a monk that I will not survive before I was 20. That monk didn't know I exist, and at that time... I seriously was suicidal. I felt lonely and scared. So it made everything seem too real... like it would come true. Luckily I was too chicken shit to really complete the deed and not exist now.

So many rough things has happened since I was a child. And while I blocked out the details, I still know what happened.

Which, It makes me happy to say, I don't -want- anything for my birthday. I am simply happy for what I have and would more than often hunt out what I want on my own.

The only thing I -do- want, is a picture of me with my lion and family together

I work at a gas station, and even though its at a location that means it will be busy (like it was on Christmas x-x It was non-stop waves of people, buying things they should have bought days/weeks ago), I still loved working there. We always deal with stupid, people who are rude and yelly as hell, but we can only do what we can. It won't change how much I love working here.


Well... Today, was just something that tests my nerves against that love. Even though I was pushed upon two straightforward weeks of 35+ hours (money's nice, but I would rather be with 20+ hours as a part time to balance my art), I was tired, sore, and struggling to keep a smile on my face as I work there.

Twice i had to deal with customers that will be painstakingly annoying towards me, and twice I had to deal with my Shift-leader over riding what I was taught (and morally felt right) to do. Twice I had to feel like my words feel nothing of worth. She's a great person, caring and will focus on her tasks to the best she could. But when it comes to situations like this.... I just feel lost and upset.

First customer was caught by her, he was taking some of our cigarillos. It was technically behind the counter, even if the door was taken off quite a bit ago. We have always asked nicely for the customer to avoid doing that in the future, even if they were going to pay for said item. They apologized and moved on their merry way with their tobacco purchase. But this customer just kept on saying things like it was there and he was going to buy it, and thought it was alright to grab them. I should have kept my mouth shut, but I told him it was common sense. Then he went on a whole tangent that tobacco stores always let you pick said items from the shelves (even if I responded by stating we are not a tobacco store, but a gas store)... Trying to move things along, I asked for his ID, he said it was in the car, I suggested that he goes and get it. He called ME rude and kept on his tangent. I asked him that if he doesn't stop, i'll have to request for him to leave. But things gotten worse, and it gotten to the point where he made a bigger fuss WHILE asking his friend to go get the ID. I asked him to leave because he wouldn't stop (He told me I should be happy, smiling, and be NICE to the customer, which I usually would towards most in the first place). All his BS was wasting too much time and I needed to take care of the next customer. The Shift-leader decided to override my decision and serve him.... Despite me telling her what was going on

Now... Whether I was in the right or wrong, this was one I would have normally let go. The leaders usually have the higher say than me, its in the past, and I should focus on my work. But the next one didn't prove so... nice..

Another customer, asked for the same sort of cigarillo, I asked for her ID, she didn't have one. I set the product aside, and told her calmly that I couldn't sell it to her as she didn't have it. She walked off, called me a bitch, and practically sent a man to buy it for her. Right away he pulled his ID, and went for the product too (kept changing the flavor). I told him that I know its for someone else, and he went in denial while proving that it wasn't for her (I didn't state it was for a female). He kept saying its for him, he's legal age, and what nots. I still declined, and he still fought me. I even saw her walking towards the door and look at him before she went off again to the car. My shift leader, once again, took control, he told her the same story, I told her mine... And she went to serve him anyways. I protested, and told her I will NOT allow it on my register.

Afterwards, she went to talk to me, I yelled at her to get away from me. Few minutes later, she asked if the customers I declined went to the same car, which made me blow up.. As calmly (enough to not yell in the store) explained to her that I don't like how she does this to me. She overlooks my words just to make the customer happy. No matter what I say she pulls this shit, enough to get me to be at risk to be in trouble.

I don't care if she takes over for certain people. Like the first Customer. Because I would always try to breath and accept it. Learn from it, and try to be better at this, like keeping my mouth shut. But when I try to put my foot DOWN and uphold the rules and laws and all sorts of bullshit.... Shouldn't I be friggen backed up upon this? Its not a Right, its a Privilege.

Either way, I'll be talking to my manager about this when he gets back from vacation. If I am truly in the wrong (for the second part), I won't be happy about it -sighs-

I got a few pokemon I want to trade, and while i could throw them at someone on the GTS for a legendary I do not have, or everyone there wants the pokemon I DON'T want to trade =^=

I won't trade the special event Pokemon Gengar or Metagross that are shiny, as they were recent special event pokemon that anyone could have easily gotten.

The pokemon I have are

Suicune
Beautifly (Which is funny, because when I got this one, I was hunting down for butterfree)
Cofagrigus (German Shiny)
Murkrow
and Gyrados

Im not seeking anything in return, tbh... so if they are traded with lousy pokemon, I'd still be happy.

I want something fun to do, while Im trying to juggle artworks and actual work. So would anyone like to do a silly weekly contest starting next year for these shinies?

Artwork probably won't be necessary, stories can be involved, and each contest has to follow a very silly theme o3o!

Well, Halloween is over, and Im sad to say that I missed a good chance to do a collab deal with leongon like we did years ago. Its alright, though, as we will always have chances in the future.

Things have been going well, sorta, over here. My second job just ended (I worked as a skull-clown for a halloween theme park on the weekends) and I am now just trying to see if I can get more hours again at my main job. My boyfriend finally met my family officially and now understands what he is getting into. And I gotten to see my father after so long.... and I felt a bit more at peace at the moment.

My artworks is all caught up. I already sent what I needed to the clients, I just need to submit them. I reaaaaally REALLY need to make a updated price sheet, but I feel very lousy... I unno, im just a bad critic with my own works >///w//< But Im hoping to stay more alive

(oh, and be prepared about the chibi floods I'll be submitting soon)

As summer draws to a close, we can't help but remember some of the fun events that has happened in the past few months. I've been wanting to do summer chibies for a long time now. So I will be doing them now, and no one can complain because it will be only available for the rest of August!

There are TWO ways to go with this:

Preposes

I will be posting pictures of preposes as I gained the ideas for them. All will cost 5 US dollars unless the client wants to make it into a speedpainting, then it would only be +3 dollars extra. Backgrounds are free as long as they are simple.
Even if the prepose includes multiple characters, you will only be charged 5 dollars for the whole picture

Custom
If you have an idea of your own, you can customize your work. I will only charge 8 US dollars overall, while the speedpainting will just be 10 US dollars. Backgrounds are once again free as long as they are simple. Client WILL see their chibi sketches before I finalize them

Keep in mind I will only have 10 Custom slots available