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General | Posted 14 years agoshall i be haunted by dreams i can not remember? by sights that i dare not see? i do not know what too do. i am at a crossroads and all i can see is a dead end.
nightmares
General | Posted 14 years agoshall i be haunted by dreams i can not remember? by sights that i dare not see? i do not know what too do. i am at a crossroads and all i can see is a dead end.
guh
General | Posted 15 years agowell, i dumped my irl friend last week, she understood and we are still good friends.... but my mom keeps on trying too hook me up.... for od sake im 19 going on 20... I CAN FIND MY OWN BITCHES!!!!! XD
a sad note
General | Posted 15 years agoso hi, i dont know if anyone cares or if anyone will read this but whatever,
my grandfater wasnt the best man early on in his life, and most of my family hates him for the shit he did, but i got too know him for who he really was, he loved too play ps2 and eat pizza, help otehr people and just talk, since he passed away ive never really felt the effects, a little sadness here and there but i want too go up too his old house, but i have too keep smacking myself, "dude he is gone" not moved away he is gone, poof gone never going too see him again....and it just hitting me now that i have moved closer too ware he used too live.
my earliest memories in my life are of me and my dad sitting on the porch at grandpa's house, the fresh air, and gramps, always cracking a joke, always smiling and showing me how too paint the model cars. but i need closure, i dont know how too get it, so i am trying this journal thing and seeing if it helps,
the last time i saw him was last year around christmas time, we played ps2 all day and a snow storm blew in so we went too get some groceries before it got too bad, and he let me drive, it was so fun, he brought me too ware he worked the next day and i got too see my great grandma, but now those are all memories, im never going too have another memory again and i dont know if i can handle that. i dont cry, i haven't for 4 years, but i am almost at the point that i bawl every-time i think about one of those memories..... i just.. cant believe he is gone... gramps i miss you, you didnt deserve 1/2 the shit the family threw at you, miss you and i hope you know that at least one of your grandkids knew you for who you were,
R.I.P Al Coombs :(
i feel a little better after typing that, hopefully i can talk about it without bawling my eyes out..... makes me look like a panzy....
my grandfater wasnt the best man early on in his life, and most of my family hates him for the shit he did, but i got too know him for who he really was, he loved too play ps2 and eat pizza, help otehr people and just talk, since he passed away ive never really felt the effects, a little sadness here and there but i want too go up too his old house, but i have too keep smacking myself, "dude he is gone" not moved away he is gone, poof gone never going too see him again....and it just hitting me now that i have moved closer too ware he used too live.
my earliest memories in my life are of me and my dad sitting on the porch at grandpa's house, the fresh air, and gramps, always cracking a joke, always smiling and showing me how too paint the model cars. but i need closure, i dont know how too get it, so i am trying this journal thing and seeing if it helps,
the last time i saw him was last year around christmas time, we played ps2 all day and a snow storm blew in so we went too get some groceries before it got too bad, and he let me drive, it was so fun, he brought me too ware he worked the next day and i got too see my great grandma, but now those are all memories, im never going too have another memory again and i dont know if i can handle that. i dont cry, i haven't for 4 years, but i am almost at the point that i bawl every-time i think about one of those memories..... i just.. cant believe he is gone... gramps i miss you, you didnt deserve 1/2 the shit the family threw at you, miss you and i hope you know that at least one of your grandkids knew you for who you were,
R.I.P Al Coombs :(
i feel a little better after typing that, hopefully i can talk about it without bawling my eyes out..... makes me look like a panzy....
well close too moving/ general blerb
General | Posted 15 years agoim close too moving now, 3 days and im gone, away from the place i am so familiar with, my car is all ready for the 12 hr drive too the new house, ive said my goodbyes too everyone, and i am getting ready too say my hello's and ready too meet new friends, and 2 VERY old friends from a decade ago....one of witch i dated....but its all ok now, he forgives me and i forgave myself, all packed and stuff, moms coming with the truck too pick my tone of shit up haha. my cell is in my name, and i an now unemployed.... hear i go. :S hope i make it **puts paws on eyes**
