First journal in 7 years, damn that's crazy.

I'll keep it brief!

Still with the same wonderful otter who got the job and moved up here to be with me. We've been dating for 12 years now. It's been fantastic and I look forward to every day with him.

Many have seen by now my sona has changed, I'm a Behemoth now! It feels great, way more suiting to my size IRL and it actually motivates me to want to find and commission artists again.

StarWind(Star) my tiger is still around for sure! He is just going to be taking it easy, as a big lazy cat might.

Thanks to all who have supported me in big ways and small these past years.

Arz~

So, this will probably be the last of my journal entry for the year, it's been a roller coaster of a year. 2012...mmm...

Well, ANYWAY!! To the good news!
I mentioned in my previous journal that I was in a relationship, this is with a wonderful guy. He and I have known each other for going on four years now. Well, he recently applied for a job up where I live, and what's more is...HE GOT IT!!

He will be moving in with me on the 5th of January, just 10 days from the day of this journal entry. We will be going from 3 hours apart to the same house. I am excited, anxious, happy, nervous and so much more! This is going to be a big change for me, but it's a step that I have wanted to take for quite some time.

With this...I feel that I'll have a solid, loving friendship and relationship. I don't expect us to always agree, or get along, but I know that we will push through those times. On top of that, this will bring financial security and make this house truly feel like a home.

There is so mch to do around here, it's gonna cost abit to get this place upgraded like I would care for to make room and space for things. But it's all gonna be worth it!! Next time ya here from me will be 2013! Happy New Years and may next year be a fantastic one for all of us!!!

I'm still alive, though sometimes it doesn't feel like it. I'm still active on FA, even if it doesn't seem like it. And finally yes, I am still active in the furry community even though I'm sure some of you haven't seen me in years.

A lot has happened in the year since my last journal post...I know I can't cover it all, and the fact that I'm actually writing a journal surprises me abit. Guess I've just had a lot going through my mind as of late, and I ran across something that brought up old memories. So the long and short of it all, is that this journal is abit random, but I'm sure everyone can deal...I know I have.

Biggest news of the past year is probably this...I've entered into a real relationship with someone. It's been years, since I can say I've actually had a REAL relationship, and I didn't know if I would be able to fit that role once more but I have and as scared as I am, I am 20 times more happy. Who is it? Well I'm not gonna say for now, but...I can tell you abit about him. He is a wonderful man, someone I've known for well over two years, and that I've grown close to and love deeply. He's a true friend and I am grateful to him for a lot, Ooooh yeah, can't forget...he's a hot sexy otter!! Hopefully everyone will get to see some art of him and I soon. Been needing to get some new art!!

Work...well I still work at the same place, been there for 5 years now...longest I have ever kept a job in one place. I still enjoy the work, though the people there need their attitudes checked once and awhile. But that's just about everywhere.

Family...damn, my siblings both are married now, and I have a niece and a nephew...I'm the oldest child so not fair but I'm happy for them.

Friends, I don't get to see nearly enough of them! I still travel as often as I am able, and do try to keep in touch with as many of my good friends as possible. Though things have been oddly quiet of late. Everyone gets busy, it's life, but I will always make time for my friends.

I can't really think of what else I should be putting here, and if you have read this far you've definitely got patience, thank you.

I'll try not to make my next journal entry a year from now. I just use FB more often...and even that I only use rarely lol

Being broke... I've got bills piling up and it's just... frustrating. But I'll keep this brief and summarized.

Ahem...

VENT VENT VENT RANT VENT WHINE POINT BLAME RANT VENT SCREAM

Now that, that is over...thank ya'll...and if anyone knows how this tiger can make a nice sized pile of money relatively quickly that would be much appreciated knowledge.

I'm not really sure what to confess.

Lame I know...

I'll most likely be removing all of the 10 day journals from my account by the end of next week.

n___n z__z

Day Seven: Four Turn Offs.

1.No self esteem or to self centered. There's definitely a balance between the two. But the two extremes are definitely turn offs. Be confident and self assured but make sure there's room for others in your life too.
2. Lack of personal care. Bathe, brush, deodorant...take care of yourself, and your appearance otherwise you're just gonna come off as nasty and unhealthy.
3.No sense of humor or overly sarcastic, again, finding the balance, be able to laugh and joke playfully but don't be so sarcastic or joke in such a manner to be hurtful.
4. Don't put other less important things before your friends, or loved ones. certain things may only come so often in a year, but they are in no way more important than those you say you care for.


Day Eight: Three Turn Ons.

1. When we are alone, and close enough emotionally...kissing, a good kisser will really turn me on, being close...nothing is as simple, or as powerful in an expression of emotion and feeling as that.
2. Surprise me, be spontaneous at times, little gifts, treats or surprises show me how much you care and really speaks volumes.
3. Be willing to go the distance for me, things aren't easy all the time, and showing me that things aren't one sided or show me that you're willing to make sacrifices for me.

1. My Mother, one of the most capable and strongest person I know. She's my rock and raised me to be strong.
2. My Father, compassionate, empathetic and sincere. My Dad is a wonderful man who's helped me become who I am.
3. My Siblings, brother and sister both, at times wanting to destroy them, and at times I couldn't be saved without them.
4. My Grandparents, two of the smartest and wisest people I know, they raised 6 kids, have 14 grandchildren and one great-grandchild. They've inspired and influenced me through my life.
5. Nicky, she's been a friend to me for many years, though times have been like a roller coaster, you've always come through as a true friend.

There's a lot more people that mean a great deal to mean.

1. I wish I had never trusted that one person as much as I did. It blinded me to see just how much harm was really being done.
2. I wish I had been harder on ex roommates, they walked over me and left me really hurting financially.
3. I wish I had done better in high school and college, but when you get your first taste of real independence you go a little nuts.
4. I wish I had never really lost contact with all my old high school friends, they were a great group of people.
5. I wish I never maxed out my credit card just to keep my roommates satisfied.
6. I wish I had never said what I did that night at the cabin to one of my friends, it hurt both of us, and I lost out on a chance for a future with them because of it.

1. What are they going to have me work on today?
2. My bills.
3. I wonder if I disappoint anyone.
4. What are my friends up to.
5. My Dogs Alex and Wilson.
6. Which is the better path to be taking.
7. Getting my knee healed so I can continue to jog/run/bike.

Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot.
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession

1. Communicate well, and be able to hold a conversation at length.
2. A charming personality will only go so far, be real with a dash of charm.
3. Laugh at my stupid jokes even if I may have told them before.
4. Be willing to love me as I would be willing to love you.
5. Supportive and caring often will make me smile.
6. Don't expect to do everything yourself, and be able to accept help. Don't be dependent but don't be completely independent, it makes me feel useless.
7. Be my friend before anything else, if I'm wrong tell me and show me that I am, I'll listen and learn.
8. Take my hand and show me a smile, show me your world and I'll show you mine.

Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot.
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession


1. I'm 6'10" in REAL life.
2. I shave my face only once to twice a week.
3. I work in retail.
4. I'm buying a house
5. I often observe, then act.
6. I own two wonderful dogs, one of them is a wolf.
7. I enjoy playing video games to kill time.
8. I have one brother and one sister.
9. I enjoy laughing when possible.

First worth while looking meme in a while, let's see where this goes.

Ever so graciously borrowed from  Kai_Ren_Sky

Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot.
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession

1. Thank you for all the help you've given me, stood by me, even when I was making some of the worse choices ever.
2. I just want ya to know, that was a really stupid choice, you are better than that and you really aught to stop this.
3. After everything is said and done, no matter what, we'll be friends and grow closer for it, I'll always try to be the friend you deserve and nothing less than that.
4. I wanna punch you in the face, kick you in the groin, stomp on your head for all the stuff I have to put up with from you.
5. I want you to know I've called the attorney's office, I will get what you owe me.
6. You really like to make things all or mostly about you, I'm simply a side note in your book.
7. I wish I could see you again, I miss you so much...
8. Ya know, I sometimes regret not taking that chance with you.
9. I wish we lived closer, then we could really see where things might go.
10. I'm stronger than you, I'm smarter than you, I've got better friends than you, you really need to get over yourself and stop messing up other peoples lives.

Ever been told something that you know was gonna end up with something bad going to happen to someone?? And ya wanted to tell the person it would hurt to save that person the shock, surprise and pain of what was to come if they were to keep on their present path? Yeah...that's where I am...

I want to say something, but I know its none of my business... and if I were to say something it has the potential to be a total drama bomb and what not.

I don't know why it ticks me off as much as it does...or maybe it is more frustration and aggrivation from another issue that I have (but can't speak of) that has found it's way here...

Either way...not in the best of moods because of it.

So yeah, like the title says...I've been thinking, a lot...and ya know it's generally not that good when that goes down, but in this instance it isn't so bad...

I've been thinking a lot about imperfection and perfection. I believe that no one is perfect, gods know I'm not!! But...even imperfect people, imperfect beings and lives can still shine with a light of perfection and beauty...

Look at the concept of mates, partners, husbands and wives...while it may not be in every instance...two people come together and form a union. Two impefect people who look through their own imperfection and find the impefections in their new mate to be pefect. Two beings while not capable of doing everything by themselves, with the help of the other one can achieve greater heights and levels of awareness.

I'm fond of puzzles and I see this as much the same concept, each piece of that puzzle is imperfect, but no matter how imperfect, odd, weird, or out there their individual shape is they always come together to form a fantastic picture.

I guess I've been thinking about this because while I know I'm imperfect...I see the potential to fell more complete again...looking at and accepting the imperfections of another and wondering if they could ever accept it themselves, and see more too...

It would help if I was a mind reader ya know? But...I can only go on thoughts, wonders, feelings and assumptions. I try to speak openly, and honestly...I've learned from my past, a hard lesson to have gone through...

Anyway...take care all you people out there...until next time.

Phew...okay...let's just get this going.

I was on Vacation up in Virginia this past week, getting home on the 11th. It was a great time with family and friends, spent a few days on the beach, saw some really cool street performances, and I even found a piece of Fulgurite (the stone that is made when lightning hits the sand, what I call a lightning stone) in the ocean I was thrilled with that. Add to the fact I was the only person in my family not to get sunburned, thank you multiple applications of sun block! Then spent a day at 6 flags of america in Virginia. That was a blast, I haven't been to an amusement park in ages, and even though I barely fit or in some cases can't fit on a roller coaster because of my height, I love the rides and the fun it brings. Was a heck of a hot day for it though, but still good fun. Worse part of this trip was the driving 17 hours one way, that was driven twice.

A picture of the Fulgurite: img94.imageshack.us/i/0707001123.jpg/

Pardon the quality...I left my digital camera with my sister, and my cell phone is only so good...the half on the right of the picture is solid sand, rock hard, the half on the left side is cloudy glass, you can even see some of the bubbles of air trapped by the sudden heating and cooling of the sand (though not in this picture >< )

Of course the vacation wasn't all happy times, down in Louisiana, in my home no less my roommate situation boiled to a fine point and exploded with a shit storm of drama that I've not had in my house in ages. The newer roommate (Josh) was aggravating EVERYONE in the house. Along with his general lack of consideration, he was also apparently bulimic, purging himself once or twice a day in the bathroom and everyone could here it. He didn't bother to get a job but found plenty of time to go out to the clubs and get whatever he wanted on... (he ended up bunking up with the roommate that I had to kick out...wow...that I was just like...no words...) anyway, it got to a point where once I got home I would evict him and it would be said and done, turns out that happened before I got home, there were even fist fights... *sighs* None of it would have happened if I had been home though, everyone who comes in my home knows better than to start any shit with me and if I could have been there my roommates would not have suffered... it's all done now though...he's gone, things are quiet now.

But the drama did have a silver lining, I already have a new roommate and had one before I got home on the 11th. A furry no less. He's a great deal more courteous and friendly than Josh ever was, and has shown interest in finding work quickly, I have high hopes for this arrangement.

Of course coming back home meant going back to work at Target...and sure enough, the day I come go back is the day that EVERYONE on my team is getting written up, coached or in two peoples cases, fired...wonderful...lucky for me I wasn't here last week because it was an utter disaster at work, and I managed to avoid it quite nicely... Then today...ugh, for the first half of the day I couldn't concentrate on work, my mind was everywhere else in the world but not at work...my thoughts wandered where they should only really go when I'm home. *deep sigh* It's hard to untangle a mind when it is so decidedly fixed on something or someone that I know. The latter half of the day I was able to focus abit more, but even then it didn't seem to matter, my team got chewed out yet again for their lack of performance and me along with them even though I was working just as hard as ever.

My store manager was cheerier than I had seen him ever and then I realized that it was because he was able to fire a couple of my coworkers yesterday. Admittedly one of them deserved it, he didn't show up on several occassions but the other...not at all. She was fired because she was going to need to pick up her son and had to take off a few days to do so because he lives in a different state...she was within her probationary period and was given the major ultimatum of stay and work or go get your son. She chose the more responsible and only path a parent can take.

In other news, mostly regarding what I was thinking about today...a lot of things, mostly focused on one or two key things. Ya'll ever have things you want to say, want to ask, be out and about with toward an issue or a specific person, but that issue or person just doesn't seem approachable about it? That was one of my thoughts...how to say what I need or want to say without truly making anything difficult or uncomfortable. I tend to find myself a patient person and will not speak out of turn when I feel the timing isn't right for what has to be said...so I suppose I can only wait for the right time, the perfect moment, hoping that things will be favorable... or in one real instance, that I won't have to say those things because either the issue works out, or someone says those very important things first.

Yes I know it's vague but I really don't think it appropriate for me to be posting to to much detail, oui?

Anyway, that's my two bits for now, talk at ya'll later!

So I had a very long journal ready to post...but my computer went computarded and restarted itself...and Microsoft Word only recovered a couple paragraphs of it...so here is things summed up...

Got a new roomy, they are already annoying me greatly, here's hoping that he doesn't turn out to be a bum.

Work is killing me with stress, I'm stuck, or I have to find a new job they both scare me...

I'm getting more and more frustrated...money, friends, love and life in general...


I really wanted this to be more in depth and thought out, but I'm not gonna go and retype up another four or five pages of work. Probably would have just had people jumping down my throat about one thing or another anyway so maybe my computer was preemptively stopping anything from happening who knows?

Peace Ya'll

So here recently I've had to evict one of my roommates...I'll not go into details, suffice to say things were owed and promises weren't kept.

And that means I must fill the empty space in my house as quickly and efficiently as possible. I'm looking for a new roommate. This is a furry house hold and as such, a furry or fur friendly person would be idle as to avoid any awkward "hey what's that you're looking at...OMFG what's that!?" moments...

What I have to offer is this, the room you are moving into is the second biggest in the house and generally best naturally lit in the house. It's about 10x13 feet, and it comes fully furnished with a bed, desk, dresser, and bookshelf. The bed is going to be new because the person who had stayed in that room ruined the mattress, also the ceiling light and fan will be replaced due to those being broken as well. You will be free to decorate the room as you see fit, any major changes of course will need to be asked about first though.

Along with the bedroom, you get your utilities taken care of, you also get high speed internet provided you have a computer to use it with.

As for food, there is a food pool in the house, if you want to contribute, then the house will buy and pay for groceries for you as well, or if you want to only buy food for yourself then you are more than able to do that too.

What's expected of you is this, you pay your rent on time every month, for the size of the room along with the furnishing as well as you getting internet and utilities paid for is $350 a month due within the first week of the month unless arrangements are made with me before hand. If you do that, you have pretty free reign, I've been burned in the past so I will also be expecting you to sign a lease with me just to ensure both of us are covered.

What I'm looking for in a roommate aside from the furry aspect, is that they be alright with dogs, I own a wolf and a husky hybrid and they are inside dogs for the most part. I'll also expect you to be responsible, putting your priorities and obligations in the right order, you should be willing to sacrifice some things in life to ensure you have a place to call home after all. Unless you have alternate means of bringing in money, you'll be expected to get a job and work. Having your own car is suggested as well, I've had to chauffeur people before and I'm not a fan of it, I'll do it if need be but having your own means of getting around is great.

Where is my home? It's in Northern Louisiana, in Shreveport. I'm aware that it might be out of the way for some people, but I can't change where I live heh.

So if you, or someone you know who you feel would be right for this kind of place would be interested in moving here and having a bit of a place to call your own. Then please contact me via a note or email provided at the end of the journal and I'll give more contact information, arrange a time for you to see the room, answer questions, etc...

Thank you for taking the time to read this, I hope you might be interested in living in a pretty awesome furry household.

Email: WSTiger[at]gmail[dot]com WSTiger[at]gmail.com

I do this...AAAAAAAAAALL the time! >_>

http://purinaanimalallstars.yahoo.com/?v=7485498&l=100000085

I've been told recently that I'm a survivor, a strong survivor. At first I had to stop and think about that. I suppose that there are different kinds of surviving out there and I am just going through one of those ways.

And looking back on what I've had to endure over the past year and some time...I can't help but feel abit of satisfaction in the fact I've come through this far and hope to only keep moving forward with things.

I've lost roommates, I've endured a job that doesn't appreciate me, as always bills bills bills, and no money, people taking advantage of my hospitalty and generosity...but I won't stop giving those things to those who deserve it. I'm sure that is nothing new to a lot of people. What makes me any different from anyone out there? Probably nothing, I'm an average person who has issues.

I'm not complaining, just a little introspection. There are things in life I wish I could change with the blink of an eye, I'm putting my effort into what I want to see improve, and slowly...very slowly things are.

I still look at the past and take from it bits and pieces. I try to be a happy person, and seeing how things work out for others around me...

All I can do is stand strong, take the blows I must, and take it one step at a time. Isn't that all anyone can do though?

This past weekend started off so great. And ended so miserably.

Nothing major happened it was all mental. I couldn't stop reminiscing about times gone by. My life is so different now than it was. I know that's a good thing cause I have a lot less negativity to deal with.

Though I feel I'm lacking something significant...while I know I don't need it, that doesn't stop my mind and my heart from wishing for it.

I only got a few hours of sleep last night because of this, my monday is not off to a good start, hopefully the rest of the day is better than what proceeded it.

So I just beat Assassin's Creed 2. I've gotta say, much more satisfying ending than the first one. Still leaves a few questions, but also leaves open for another game. This was a great game, the last couple games I purchased or were given, I didn't really get deep into. But this one drew me in from the start of it and kept me going. I unlocked everything and collected all but 2 trophies...mainly cause I have no clue how to do what is required of me to get those....oh well! Still a great game.

Now I have to figure out what to do with myself. It took me about a week to beat the game, mainly cause I couldn't sit down and play it for an extended period of time. Guess I can go back to White Knight Chronicles or Dragon Age: Origins not sure which.

Aaaaah, these are those nice quiet days that I miss, troubles and negative things behind me and in the past, nothing but a bright day, my pups, some ice tea and friends. This is the SHIT. That's right. ^__^

It has been twelve long LONG months...but finally, today...I'm gonna be getting me SOME!!!

....

BIRTHDAY PRESENTS YOU DIRTY MINDED FURRIES!!!


Yes, as of early this morning I turned 26. I made my own cake and it's gonna be awesome!

That's it for now!


Cya!!!!

I had to put one of my dogs to sleep yesterday, such a hard thing to do. But she had lost the use of her back legs almost completely, along with losing weight and her spine starting to curve... She was suffering in her day to day life. She's gone to her peace...and it was so wonderful to see her finally not in pain... She will be missed....

Brendi

2000-2009