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More Updates - Nimin and myself
Posted a year agoSo figured I should do an update, since it's been a while.
First, v0.975 has been removed by mods for some content flagging. It's stuff that had been flagged years ago, got tweaked to be appropriate, got the okay from Dragoneer himself, and now some 15 years later (10 years since there's been any change to the post), it got flagged again for some reason. The mod that I was communicating with offered to do a more thorough review, but I haven't heard back yet. I'm not too worried at this point, the game already had stuff that I didn't feel represented what I wanted to do anyways, and it's still available via other sites. The only thing I'll miss, though, is the hundreds of comments that were pretty cool to check out after all these years.
As for a new Nimin, it's still pretty hobbled after what happened last year. Back in April I did manage to get quite a bit of progress, but it was essentially re-doing all the stuff I did in 2023. Haven't had much progress since, but I feel like I'm getting close to a norm now and might be able to get back to it with more force. But suffice it to say, things will likely take much longer.
With regards to last year, I figure I can provide some details at this point. My dad had been battling cancer for a couple of years, already making things a little stressful. Last year things went downhill with a lot of being in the hospital. That's when I posted the last journal. My dad seemed to have stabilize, which is why I thought I could get back to Nimin, but shortly after that journal he passed away suddenly. So yeah, life really took a tangent to take care of that and family.
It's nearly a year later and things have mostly settled - we've all tried to get back to a new normal. I'm doing well, I even went to MFF last year and all the friends there were very supportive, it was very nice. This whole situation has also reminded me of how much life had stalled for the past several years, so a lot of my motivated-time has been getting ahead on those things. I really need to find a life partner if I want any hope of starting a family. So Nimin takes a backseat for a bit longer.
Anyways, yeah, I'll see if I get back to Nimin in earnest soon. I will be at MFF again this year. This time I will be hitting the dating apps harder; last year was a bit of a wash for obvious reasons, lol.
First, v0.975 has been removed by mods for some content flagging. It's stuff that had been flagged years ago, got tweaked to be appropriate, got the okay from Dragoneer himself, and now some 15 years later (10 years since there's been any change to the post), it got flagged again for some reason. The mod that I was communicating with offered to do a more thorough review, but I haven't heard back yet. I'm not too worried at this point, the game already had stuff that I didn't feel represented what I wanted to do anyways, and it's still available via other sites. The only thing I'll miss, though, is the hundreds of comments that were pretty cool to check out after all these years.
As for a new Nimin, it's still pretty hobbled after what happened last year. Back in April I did manage to get quite a bit of progress, but it was essentially re-doing all the stuff I did in 2023. Haven't had much progress since, but I feel like I'm getting close to a norm now and might be able to get back to it with more force. But suffice it to say, things will likely take much longer.
With regards to last year, I figure I can provide some details at this point. My dad had been battling cancer for a couple of years, already making things a little stressful. Last year things went downhill with a lot of being in the hospital. That's when I posted the last journal. My dad seemed to have stabilize, which is why I thought I could get back to Nimin, but shortly after that journal he passed away suddenly. So yeah, life really took a tangent to take care of that and family.
It's nearly a year later and things have mostly settled - we've all tried to get back to a new normal. I'm doing well, I even went to MFF last year and all the friends there were very supportive, it was very nice. This whole situation has also reminded me of how much life had stalled for the past several years, so a lot of my motivated-time has been getting ahead on those things. I really need to find a life partner if I want any hope of starting a family. So Nimin takes a backseat for a bit longer.
Anyways, yeah, I'll see if I get back to Nimin in earnest soon. I will be at MFF again this year. This time I will be hitting the dating apps harder; last year was a bit of a wash for obvious reasons, lol.
New Nimin Update - Progress much slower than anticipated
Posted 2 years agoI've been meaning to put out this journal for pretty much a year now, hoping to post it when things started to turn around. But things haven't turned around, they've just gotten worse.
When I posted the journal last year announcing I'm working on a new Nimin, that was after a couple years of fairly steady progress that I had determined was sustainable enough to announce. Last year I was supposed to finish the first town and most of the major mechanics, then 2-3 towns a year after that until I was done with all 8 towns.
Shortly after that previous journal is when life started happening in force. It was nonsense after nonsense last year, slowing down my progress with distractions and anxiety. This year has gotten even worse, to the point where I haven't written anything since August because of some especially major issues. I'm still waiting to see where those issues end up, but at the moment I'm tentatively trying to build the will to get back to the game. I did get halfway through the first town so far and I've done some more major mechanics, but I'm definitely not achieving that goal by the end of this year either.
tl;dr - Progress on new Nimin is much slower than expected, so it's not coming out in the next couple years like I had hoped. I still warn anybody from getting too hyped up anytime soon, but I do plan on continuing, even if it is slow.
Related to the diminished progress, one thing that has been particularly fussy this past year and a half has been the dating scene. I'm not exactly getting younger, so I'm pushing myself into the dating world a lot, despite all the other issues going on. And it can get a little disheartening to mention my "hobby" after a month of getting to know each other and promptly seeing people balk. I don't hide my sex positivity, but when the conversations finally feel comfortable to bring it up, then having this big part of my life be a sudden no, it doesn't feel great. It's for the better though, I want to be able to be myself in a relationship.
Why do I mention my dating life in my Nimin update journal? Well, I figure if somebody is interested in Nimin, I won't run into that awkward balking as much, lol. It's worth taking the shot, right? To that end, I will be at MFF this year in Chicago (like I usually am). I'll be on multiple dating apps (CoffeeMeetsBagel, Hinge, Tinder, Feeld, Bumble). So if you're a single woman and maybe interested, check the dating apps. I figure it's better to match naturally through a dating app; we can see who each other is without necessarily knowing who I am, so there's less pressure on both of us (I know I'm not the most extroverted person XD). So just kind of a heads up there.
Anyways, thanks again to everybody for their support! If I start making significant progress again and manage to get halfway through the game, I'll try to provide another update then so it feels more real.
When I posted the journal last year announcing I'm working on a new Nimin, that was after a couple years of fairly steady progress that I had determined was sustainable enough to announce. Last year I was supposed to finish the first town and most of the major mechanics, then 2-3 towns a year after that until I was done with all 8 towns.
Shortly after that previous journal is when life started happening in force. It was nonsense after nonsense last year, slowing down my progress with distractions and anxiety. This year has gotten even worse, to the point where I haven't written anything since August because of some especially major issues. I'm still waiting to see where those issues end up, but at the moment I'm tentatively trying to build the will to get back to the game. I did get halfway through the first town so far and I've done some more major mechanics, but I'm definitely not achieving that goal by the end of this year either.
tl;dr - Progress on new Nimin is much slower than expected, so it's not coming out in the next couple years like I had hoped. I still warn anybody from getting too hyped up anytime soon, but I do plan on continuing, even if it is slow.
Related to the diminished progress, one thing that has been particularly fussy this past year and a half has been the dating scene. I'm not exactly getting younger, so I'm pushing myself into the dating world a lot, despite all the other issues going on. And it can get a little disheartening to mention my "hobby" after a month of getting to know each other and promptly seeing people balk. I don't hide my sex positivity, but when the conversations finally feel comfortable to bring it up, then having this big part of my life be a sudden no, it doesn't feel great. It's for the better though, I want to be able to be myself in a relationship.
Why do I mention my dating life in my Nimin update journal? Well, I figure if somebody is interested in Nimin, I won't run into that awkward balking as much, lol. It's worth taking the shot, right? To that end, I will be at MFF this year in Chicago (like I usually am). I'll be on multiple dating apps (CoffeeMeetsBagel, Hinge, Tinder, Feeld, Bumble). So if you're a single woman and maybe interested, check the dating apps. I figure it's better to match naturally through a dating app; we can see who each other is without necessarily knowing who I am, so there's less pressure on both of us (I know I'm not the most extroverted person XD). So just kind of a heads up there.
Anyways, thanks again to everybody for their support! If I start making significant progress again and manage to get halfway through the game, I'll try to provide another update then so it feels more real.
I (and maybe Nimin) are alive!
Posted 3 years agoI've been avoiding posting a journal about this and wasn't planning to until I was much closer. However, with some messages I've seen lately (thanks for the support!), I realize that people thinking I'm completely gone might make it harder when I actually want to release what I've been working on.
I am indeed working on a new Nimin. Built completely from scratch with some major changes and the hope of releasing a "1.0" version eventually, potentially monetized.
When?
Short answer - Maybe 2024/2025
Long answer -
In my last journal, I mentioned I was brainstorming and re-imagining Nimin from scratch. I did indeed do that for nearly a year. And then I threw all of that away and started over again because a lot of it wasn't meshing. This was a good thing; I kept iterating on the concept, weeding through the remnants of what the game was vs what I wanted it to be. Plus, Flash was dying so it wasn't a good idea to keep building in it anyways.
In 2019, I started another fresh major round of brainstorming and really got to the main concepts that I wanted over the course of a year. I literally wrote no code, it was all just brainstorming and trying to fit all the pieces of the giant jigsaw together until I got something that I thought was good and was also doable.
Near the end of 2020, I started the coding again. This had to be from scratch, using a language I had never used before. It was suggested to me by
skycorp (they've also got a TF text game called "Underworld" you can check out) and it's working well for my needs (I should point out that it was also suggested back when I asked for Flash alternatives, I just didn't realize how useful it was then). I'm not using any of what was written in the original Flash, I've been rewriting even the similar base concepts from scratch.
After over a year now, I've got a lot of the base engine filled out. I've even started to actually write the story. Maybe by the end of the year I'll have one or two towns filled out. I've also tested that the game works by sending a build out to some friends with some base functionality like buttons and inventory and the TF engine, and it worked, so I know I'm not just writing myself into a corner like before.
Progress is slow. In the period I've also lost some friends and there's been family health issues during the pandemic, which pushes away the creative mood for a while. Yet, this time around I've been making consistent progress regardless of work or love or life, which is why I'm confident enough to even post this journal. At the rate things are going, I might have the meat of the game ready by 2024 or 2025. So definitely not something to keep an eye out for soon, but also not entirely dead.
What's different?
A good amount! It may have a different feel from the original Nimin, but it'll also retain the light-hearted sex-positive outlook that I'm aiming for and I think people particularly liked with Nimin.
Some things have changed because I never intended them for the game anyways. I never liked 'rape' - it was a concept originally from its predecessor that I just rolled with, but ran counter to my goals. Even then, there was no actual rape in the game, it was more an assertion of dominance (if somebody didn't like what you were asserting, you weren't allowed). "Prostitution" also wasn't intentional - I'm not opposed to it as a concept, but it broke the flow of "sex being special" by instead being easily available and was mostly added as a lazy way of filling out gameplay.
Some things have changed because I reconsidered their value. "Combat" makes little sense in a game where I want kinks to be fun and whimsical - using a sword to injure somebody countered that idea heavily and was more of a residual trope of being an RPG. There will still be random encounters; they'll just function much different. Movement has also been freed up, because having a random chance to move to the next area was a lame way of inserting obstacles, again a lazy way of filling out gameplay.
Some things have changed to make the game easier for me to write and actually complete. Having multiple cocks/vags is difficult to write about in every single sexual encounter, yet had very few sexual encounters where they mattered, so their value just wasn't worth the extra effort to include them. Same goes with having a clit + cock; they're both the same phallus and only having one allows me to actually transform it back and forth accordingly. Also, everybody will start out as "human" rather than selecting a race. This helps the story make much more sense and allows for story progression.
There's many other major mechanics being rebuilt or entirely new. The ones above are the most notable to show the shift in where the game is going.
Monetized?
This part I have no idea about yet. Crowd-supported vs sold through some gaming platform, I don't know. It'll depend on when I actually finish the game and what the world looks like at the time. Since the game isn't Flash or HTML5, I won't be able to post it for free on FA like I have before. With the time and effort and skill being put into it this time around, I figure I should probably get some value out of it.
It's something I know I'll likely want to do, but right now I'm not worrying about it. I want to build out the game with the goal of making my vision. I don't want to build the game with the goal of making money, which I feel corrupts the creative output. So I'm not going to worry about the making money part until at least most of the game is built.
What to do until New Nimin is available?
Also no idea! I haven't kept up much with the porn game community since I've been focusing on my own stuff. I think TiTS is still going, I know CoC 2 was released to Steam, SkyCorp has that Underworld game. I'm sure there's things going on in all sorts of places. I know life is difficult for a lot of people right now, so maybe share what you've been up to in the comments for others to peruse as well.
I'm not social on here, but depending on how things go you might see more from me in the upcoming years. As I start writing NPC encounters, I might find myself a little rusty and needing to do some short stories to warm up. Maybe even to flesh out the concepts better. We'll see!
Main point is: I'm not dead! I'm just not that social and I don't have much to put out lately.
I am indeed working on a new Nimin. Built completely from scratch with some major changes and the hope of releasing a "1.0" version eventually, potentially monetized.
When?
Short answer - Maybe 2024/2025
Long answer -
In my last journal, I mentioned I was brainstorming and re-imagining Nimin from scratch. I did indeed do that for nearly a year. And then I threw all of that away and started over again because a lot of it wasn't meshing. This was a good thing; I kept iterating on the concept, weeding through the remnants of what the game was vs what I wanted it to be. Plus, Flash was dying so it wasn't a good idea to keep building in it anyways.
In 2019, I started another fresh major round of brainstorming and really got to the main concepts that I wanted over the course of a year. I literally wrote no code, it was all just brainstorming and trying to fit all the pieces of the giant jigsaw together until I got something that I thought was good and was also doable.
Near the end of 2020, I started the coding again. This had to be from scratch, using a language I had never used before. It was suggested to me by
skycorp (they've also got a TF text game called "Underworld" you can check out) and it's working well for my needs (I should point out that it was also suggested back when I asked for Flash alternatives, I just didn't realize how useful it was then). I'm not using any of what was written in the original Flash, I've been rewriting even the similar base concepts from scratch. After over a year now, I've got a lot of the base engine filled out. I've even started to actually write the story. Maybe by the end of the year I'll have one or two towns filled out. I've also tested that the game works by sending a build out to some friends with some base functionality like buttons and inventory and the TF engine, and it worked, so I know I'm not just writing myself into a corner like before.
Progress is slow. In the period I've also lost some friends and there's been family health issues during the pandemic, which pushes away the creative mood for a while. Yet, this time around I've been making consistent progress regardless of work or love or life, which is why I'm confident enough to even post this journal. At the rate things are going, I might have the meat of the game ready by 2024 or 2025. So definitely not something to keep an eye out for soon, but also not entirely dead.
What's different?
A good amount! It may have a different feel from the original Nimin, but it'll also retain the light-hearted sex-positive outlook that I'm aiming for and I think people particularly liked with Nimin.
Some things have changed because I never intended them for the game anyways. I never liked 'rape' - it was a concept originally from its predecessor that I just rolled with, but ran counter to my goals. Even then, there was no actual rape in the game, it was more an assertion of dominance (if somebody didn't like what you were asserting, you weren't allowed). "Prostitution" also wasn't intentional - I'm not opposed to it as a concept, but it broke the flow of "sex being special" by instead being easily available and was mostly added as a lazy way of filling out gameplay.
Some things have changed because I reconsidered their value. "Combat" makes little sense in a game where I want kinks to be fun and whimsical - using a sword to injure somebody countered that idea heavily and was more of a residual trope of being an RPG. There will still be random encounters; they'll just function much different. Movement has also been freed up, because having a random chance to move to the next area was a lame way of inserting obstacles, again a lazy way of filling out gameplay.
Some things have changed to make the game easier for me to write and actually complete. Having multiple cocks/vags is difficult to write about in every single sexual encounter, yet had very few sexual encounters where they mattered, so their value just wasn't worth the extra effort to include them. Same goes with having a clit + cock; they're both the same phallus and only having one allows me to actually transform it back and forth accordingly. Also, everybody will start out as "human" rather than selecting a race. This helps the story make much more sense and allows for story progression.
There's many other major mechanics being rebuilt or entirely new. The ones above are the most notable to show the shift in where the game is going.
Monetized?
This part I have no idea about yet. Crowd-supported vs sold through some gaming platform, I don't know. It'll depend on when I actually finish the game and what the world looks like at the time. Since the game isn't Flash or HTML5, I won't be able to post it for free on FA like I have before. With the time and effort and skill being put into it this time around, I figure I should probably get some value out of it.
It's something I know I'll likely want to do, but right now I'm not worrying about it. I want to build out the game with the goal of making my vision. I don't want to build the game with the goal of making money, which I feel corrupts the creative output. So I'm not going to worry about the making money part until at least most of the game is built.
What to do until New Nimin is available?
Also no idea! I haven't kept up much with the porn game community since I've been focusing on my own stuff. I think TiTS is still going, I know CoC 2 was released to Steam, SkyCorp has that Underworld game. I'm sure there's things going on in all sorts of places. I know life is difficult for a lot of people right now, so maybe share what you've been up to in the comments for others to peruse as well.
I'm not social on here, but depending on how things go you might see more from me in the upcoming years. As I start writing NPC encounters, I might find myself a little rusty and needing to do some short stories to warm up. Maybe even to flesh out the concepts better. We'll see!
Main point is: I'm not dead! I'm just not that social and I don't have much to put out lately.
Is Nimin Dead?
Posted 7 years agoShort answer
Yes. Just assume it is. If you've been holding your breath since the last release for the next one, I hope after 4+ years that you have exhaled. Do not wait anxiously for some giant update, there has been little to no progress and any hype would just lead to disappointment. Expect nothing. If some day there is some kind of update in any shape or form, be excited at that time that something new is there.
Long answer
Sorta. The Nimin that has existed is dead. After much thought and questions and experience gained elsewhere, I have come to the conclusion that Nimin in its current incarnation cannot continue, it is an exercise in futility to do the things I wanted to do with it in the state it is in. No matter how much I sought help, no matter how much I redid bits and pieces, no matter what inspiration I could drive, the momentum kept vanishing.
To that end, I haven't been doing nothing, exactly. I have bouts of creativity and I have been making an attempt to foster those bouts, make something come from them. I almost started working on a whole new game to fulfill the concepts I have had in my head. I even wrote up the overall structure and style of the game and had only just begun actually writing the code. But as I was writing the first couple scenes, I came to the realization: why am I writing a lot of this again? It may be slightly different, but it's very similar to what I was aiming for with Nimin (just with a different perspective). The only reason I was doing it anew was because Nimin had been written into a corner I couldn't get it out of and was bloated with things I didn't care about. And while it may seem like such an obvious idea, it wasn't until I got to that point that I recognized it: why not just take Nimin's engine and start Nimin over from scratch, this time actually planning for all the things that had pushed me into a corner already.
So, that's what I did. I spent a week or two brainstorming, using a lot of your guys feedback, and even more of the lessons I had learned and stories I wanted to tell. I outlined what I want a "New Nimin" to be, from the core gameplay elements to the overall world, keeping in mind something that is "doable", as opposed to the original flow of "all the possibilities". I've got a nice document with enough leeway for spur-of-the-moment decisions, but with enough focus so I know it should make sense. I even started writing for it, something I haven't done in a long while.
HOWEVER, that is not a sign that something is coming. That is not even a "some day this will happen". That is just a statement of what has been done in the past few months.
As I have stated in previous journals, I cannot put as much time towards making things as I used to, not even close. Those bouts of creativity? I'm lucky if I get one weekend a month to follow through on them. Why? Well, before I was an unemployed 20-something living in the middle of nowhere with my parents, with no life and no friends outside of the internet, that used creativity to keep myself afloat in a sea of depression and likely would not have existed much longer at that rate anyways. Now I have a job, live on my own, have friends both online and irl, and other hobbies I can actually do. But, I am also a 32 year old virgin that has never had a romantic relationship, despite deeply wanting that special someone and starting a family. I know I am not the only one in that boat, others have expressed the same, and I want to make sure I do something about it rather than wallow in it. I have been trying for 3 years now to fulfill that and it is not easy. Staying at home working on a porn game does not help in that avenue, so I have to prioritize against it, maybe even for another 3 years (though I really hope it doesn't take that long).
So, will I be making anything ever again? I think so; I believe a core part of who I am is somebody that creates erotic fiction. Will I be making anything in the foreseeable future? Maybe. I have plans and when creative bouts come I try to build out those plans. Yet I cannot confirm nor deny that anything will happen, I have no clue how long anything would take or if anything can come to fruition, and I need to keep it that way for a while.
While this journal is informing everybody out there about the status of things, this journal is actually more for me. I already know a lot of you support my lack of content; this isn't the first time I've stated a lot of this. But, this journal is to cement what my current path and objectives are, to solidify the fact that while I do want to create, I have other priorities, and I can't use one side of my life to make excuses as to why I don't perform in the other side of my life. I will do both as I can, when I can, and try my best to not fall too far behind any of it.
Thanks! And if any conversations ask "is Nimin dead?", here's the journal that acts as proof that "Sure, just assume that it is".
Yes. Just assume it is. If you've been holding your breath since the last release for the next one, I hope after 4+ years that you have exhaled. Do not wait anxiously for some giant update, there has been little to no progress and any hype would just lead to disappointment. Expect nothing. If some day there is some kind of update in any shape or form, be excited at that time that something new is there.
Long answer
Sorta. The Nimin that has existed is dead. After much thought and questions and experience gained elsewhere, I have come to the conclusion that Nimin in its current incarnation cannot continue, it is an exercise in futility to do the things I wanted to do with it in the state it is in. No matter how much I sought help, no matter how much I redid bits and pieces, no matter what inspiration I could drive, the momentum kept vanishing.
To that end, I haven't been doing nothing, exactly. I have bouts of creativity and I have been making an attempt to foster those bouts, make something come from them. I almost started working on a whole new game to fulfill the concepts I have had in my head. I even wrote up the overall structure and style of the game and had only just begun actually writing the code. But as I was writing the first couple scenes, I came to the realization: why am I writing a lot of this again? It may be slightly different, but it's very similar to what I was aiming for with Nimin (just with a different perspective). The only reason I was doing it anew was because Nimin had been written into a corner I couldn't get it out of and was bloated with things I didn't care about. And while it may seem like such an obvious idea, it wasn't until I got to that point that I recognized it: why not just take Nimin's engine and start Nimin over from scratch, this time actually planning for all the things that had pushed me into a corner already.
So, that's what I did. I spent a week or two brainstorming, using a lot of your guys feedback, and even more of the lessons I had learned and stories I wanted to tell. I outlined what I want a "New Nimin" to be, from the core gameplay elements to the overall world, keeping in mind something that is "doable", as opposed to the original flow of "all the possibilities". I've got a nice document with enough leeway for spur-of-the-moment decisions, but with enough focus so I know it should make sense. I even started writing for it, something I haven't done in a long while.
HOWEVER, that is not a sign that something is coming. That is not even a "some day this will happen". That is just a statement of what has been done in the past few months.
As I have stated in previous journals, I cannot put as much time towards making things as I used to, not even close. Those bouts of creativity? I'm lucky if I get one weekend a month to follow through on them. Why? Well, before I was an unemployed 20-something living in the middle of nowhere with my parents, with no life and no friends outside of the internet, that used creativity to keep myself afloat in a sea of depression and likely would not have existed much longer at that rate anyways. Now I have a job, live on my own, have friends both online and irl, and other hobbies I can actually do. But, I am also a 32 year old virgin that has never had a romantic relationship, despite deeply wanting that special someone and starting a family. I know I am not the only one in that boat, others have expressed the same, and I want to make sure I do something about it rather than wallow in it. I have been trying for 3 years now to fulfill that and it is not easy. Staying at home working on a porn game does not help in that avenue, so I have to prioritize against it, maybe even for another 3 years (though I really hope it doesn't take that long).
So, will I be making anything ever again? I think so; I believe a core part of who I am is somebody that creates erotic fiction. Will I be making anything in the foreseeable future? Maybe. I have plans and when creative bouts come I try to build out those plans. Yet I cannot confirm nor deny that anything will happen, I have no clue how long anything would take or if anything can come to fruition, and I need to keep it that way for a while.
While this journal is informing everybody out there about the status of things, this journal is actually more for me. I already know a lot of you support my lack of content; this isn't the first time I've stated a lot of this. But, this journal is to cement what my current path and objectives are, to solidify the fact that while I do want to create, I have other priorities, and I can't use one side of my life to make excuses as to why I don't perform in the other side of my life. I will do both as I can, when I can, and try my best to not fall too far behind any of it.
Thanks! And if any conversations ask "is Nimin dead?", here's the journal that acts as proof that "Sure, just assume that it is".
Thanks for the answers!
Posted 7 years agoA lot of you provided some very interesting answers, both in the previous journal and the anonymous form!
I've also seen some of you getting into conversations and stuff, which I also appreciate.
I think my desire to be creative, on FA or anywhere, is twofold:
1) There's things that I like that there isn't enough of or isn't done in the particular way that -I- want, so I feel the urge to fill in those gaps.
2) tl;dr - I feel the more people understand their kinky sides (rather than fear them), the better their world gets and the better the rest of the world gets in turn.
I've seen social stigmas cause more problems than not. As long as your kinks do not infringe or abuse the existence of others, then there is nothing wrong with it. And if your kinks do abuse others, then you likely feel bad in some way, and exploring the kinks fictionally can help determine the "essence" of why you want that, which can allow you to find healthier outlets that don't harm others. In all cases, being afraid of ideas, and fear of exploring them, only leads to disharmony and anguish, while understanding and exploration of ideas can distill their essences into healthy identities of self. I feel that's true of many aspects of life, but the sexual is one of the most socially stigmatized.
Overall, everybody sharing helped me understand others more, and myself. There are many kinks I cannot focus on in my creations, because I myself do not need them and thus cannot sufficiently present them, but understanding what others look may help translating some of the essence of those kinks into some of my own.
A bit philosophical and whatnot. Point is: Thanks for sharing!
I've also seen some of you getting into conversations and stuff, which I also appreciate.
I think my desire to be creative, on FA or anywhere, is twofold:
1) There's things that I like that there isn't enough of or isn't done in the particular way that -I- want, so I feel the urge to fill in those gaps.
2) tl;dr - I feel the more people understand their kinky sides (rather than fear them), the better their world gets and the better the rest of the world gets in turn.
I've seen social stigmas cause more problems than not. As long as your kinks do not infringe or abuse the existence of others, then there is nothing wrong with it. And if your kinks do abuse others, then you likely feel bad in some way, and exploring the kinks fictionally can help determine the "essence" of why you want that, which can allow you to find healthier outlets that don't harm others. In all cases, being afraid of ideas, and fear of exploring them, only leads to disharmony and anguish, while understanding and exploration of ideas can distill their essences into healthy identities of self. I feel that's true of many aspects of life, but the sexual is one of the most socially stigmatized.
Overall, everybody sharing helped me understand others more, and myself. There are many kinks I cannot focus on in my creations, because I myself do not need them and thus cannot sufficiently present them, but understanding what others look may help translating some of the essence of those kinks into some of my own.
A bit philosophical and whatnot. Point is: Thanks for sharing!
What do you like?
Posted 7 years agoTo start, this is not for Nimin, nor is this for a new game.
I've been in a creative slump. I haven't created anything in nearly a year. Not even commissioned something for an idea. Shit has happened, shit has not happened, and I'm looking to reset.
Along those lines, I was thinking: What do people other than myself really like, erotica-wise? What really gets them going? I usually stick to what I personally like, and sometimes I'll add in other things just to explore the idea. Occasionally I might try to cater to something others like, but I don't really know if I am.
So, this basically boils down to 2 questions:
1) What do you really like in fictional erotica? Particular fetishes? Particular sequences/setups that really appeal to you? I don't need a broad "I'll go with anything". Instead, I'm asking for you to reflect on your porn stashes and come up with an answer to "what really gets to you?".
2) What do you really like in an erotic game? Similar to the above, but I know a lot of games have come out over the years. Is there any features of those games that you really liked? Were there features you wish more/any games had? Again, I'm not saying that I'm going to spin a game off of the answers to this, but there could be some inspiration.
And for those of you that want to answer anonymously, here's a Google Form that you don't need to sign in to answer. Just has some fields to fill in for the questions above that doesn't track who you are, but still gives you an opportunity to honestly communicate. I'm not going to share the responses either, for the security of the answers. I also added the "What's your gender" question, just out of curiosity if, for example, females feel particularly unrepresented in their desires, since I know fictional erotica tends to be male-centric. You don't need to answer it if you don't want to.
https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1.....rm?usp=sf_link
Thanks!
I've been in a creative slump. I haven't created anything in nearly a year. Not even commissioned something for an idea. Shit has happened, shit has not happened, and I'm looking to reset.
Along those lines, I was thinking: What do people other than myself really like, erotica-wise? What really gets them going? I usually stick to what I personally like, and sometimes I'll add in other things just to explore the idea. Occasionally I might try to cater to something others like, but I don't really know if I am.
So, this basically boils down to 2 questions:
1) What do you really like in fictional erotica? Particular fetishes? Particular sequences/setups that really appeal to you? I don't need a broad "I'll go with anything". Instead, I'm asking for you to reflect on your porn stashes and come up with an answer to "what really gets to you?".
2) What do you really like in an erotic game? Similar to the above, but I know a lot of games have come out over the years. Is there any features of those games that you really liked? Were there features you wish more/any games had? Again, I'm not saying that I'm going to spin a game off of the answers to this, but there could be some inspiration.
And for those of you that want to answer anonymously, here's a Google Form that you don't need to sign in to answer. Just has some fields to fill in for the questions above that doesn't track who you are, but still gives you an opportunity to honestly communicate. I'm not going to share the responses either, for the security of the answers. I also added the "What's your gender" question, just out of curiosity if, for example, females feel particularly unrepresented in their desires, since I know fictional erotica tends to be male-centric. You don't need to answer it if you don't want to.
https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1.....rm?usp=sf_link
Thanks!
Not Flash? Then what?
Posted 7 years ago
splingmer posted to my shouts about how Flash is going away. And they're not the only ones; I've been notified that by multiple people. I heard about it, but never really cared. If Flash was killed off, there's other ways.The only reason I created games in Flash was because a friend had given me the Adobe suite back in college. I used the suite for photoshop way back when, but then the UTG thing happened, I saw how it worked, saw how I already had the tools and said "sure, why not?" and just continued from there. No active thought about it, it was just the thing I had on hand at the moment of inspiration.
Now that Flash is really dying off (though it might still be playable through hosted sites like FA anyways?), what do people think is the best way to play games through a browser at this day and age? HTML5? Unity? Something else?
I don't keep up on this stuff. I still don't really care. Coding languages are coding languages, jumping between them isn't a problem. And while I could do a bunch of research myself to figure it all out, many of you keep up on these things much better than I, so it's much more efficient to ask. What do you guys think Nimin and other text games should be built with?
Nimin 2B or !2B Followup - How to code/write with Nimin
Posted 8 years agoI know it's been a couple months since the last journal, but I finally got around to filling out a sort of "tutorial".
This -should- help with creating events for Nimin, for those that aspire to. If there are any gaps or information that would be helpful (and there likely will be!), please let me know and I will add it. It's hard trying to explain something from scratch for something you've been doing naturally for years, so it's highly probable I'm missing some mental steps.
https://github.com/XaderaDiddle/Nimin/wiki
I'm going to ask those that are interested to check it out. See if it fills in the gaps.
Also, I may start using the GitHub project board to provide visibility into what's being worked on/what needs to be worked on for myself and for others that want to assist.
This -should- help with creating events for Nimin, for those that aspire to. If there are any gaps or information that would be helpful (and there likely will be!), please let me know and I will add it. It's hard trying to explain something from scratch for something you've been doing naturally for years, so it's highly probable I'm missing some mental steps.
https://github.com/XaderaDiddle/Nimin/wiki
I'm going to ask those that are interested to check it out. See if it fills in the gaps.
Also, I may start using the GitHub project board to provide visibility into what's being worked on/what needs to be worked on for myself and for others that want to assist.
Nimin News - To Be, or Not To Be
Posted 8 years agoI've done a lot of thinking about Nimin. I know there hasn't been an update in 3+ years now, I know a lot of people still comment on it and are interested in more, I know a lot of people still ask if it's just dead and isn't going anywhere. So, here's all the information to those questions.
Some history
First, here's some background. When I started Nimin, it was a passion project after seeing UTG (what would eventually become CoC). I saw UTG, I liked the idea behind it, and I thought "Gee, I really like the idea here, but it doesn't quite suit my tastes, and there's some ways I'd want to do things differently". That was that, I saw something I wanted more of and the only way to get more was to make it myself. So I did. I didn't plan it out too much at first, I mostly had fun just rolling out the concept, building it however I thought would be interesting.
I started Nimin after being unemployed for 2+ years (yay graduating into a recession!) and was living in the middle of nowhere with my parents in a place I didn't like with my only friends being online. That life situation continued for another 3-ish years. That meant I had basically no life outside of my computers and the internet. Nimin and my writing was an escape-mechanism for me, a purpose I gave myself to want to continue living. I'm sure you get the gist of what I'm saying there.
Then, after 5 years of unemployment, I finally caught a break thanks to a certain someone in the fandom and I actually got a job. I had to move somewhere that was the opposite of the middle of nowhere, I had to get used to the work I was doing, I had to get used to living alone, I had to get used to finally "living". I no longer had the necessity nor time to work on Nimin. But I still did; I had a small update a year after I started working. But when I did that, I had been working with code at my job for a while and the many glaring problems with continued support of Nimin started to show through. I was realizing more and more what Nimin -needed- to be better, and I was actually planning out the long-term goals with Nimin. While before I was doing things as they came, I was now thoroughly thinking it through. And there was so much that needed to be updated!
That left a bad taste in my mouth. I could no longer just haphazardly add stuff because it was becoming harder and harder to do it. So I took a break and worked on something else. The God's Lewd Labyrinth. That was proof to myself that I could build something out from beginning to end, even while my real life was going.
The problem
I now know what I'm doing with Nimin. I know what I want to change, what I need to change it to, what I need to fill out, all sorts of stuff that would make the game much better and more enjoyable to everybody. The list became -enormous-. I realized I needed help, I could no longer do it myself. Over 2 years ago, I started to legitimately look for help. At first I was really hesitant and had high standards. That pushed off a bunch of people. As I continued going, I realized that the standards didn't matter if nothing actually got done. Over the past year, I've made a much better effort in accepting and looking for help.
There are multiple people willing to help with the writing of new content. I really appreciate their efforts. It's nowhere near as fast as I used to be able to get content done, but people have lives just like I do and experience the same issues that I do. No matter what happens, I'm going to make sure their efforts come to fruition. Even if I don't get all the things done that I want to get done, I will still release a new version of the game with their updates because they are awesome.
The problem, however, comes down to all the other things that need to be updated... I'll get to the details in the next section, but essentially, doing things "right" takes a while. And as much as I say to myself "I'll do more when I'm off from work"... I don't. When I'm off from work, my desires are to play video games and watch TV so I can recharge so I can do even better at work because I like what I do and I get rewarded well for doing it. And even when I do have the impetus to do things, I'm focusing on my next step in life: finding a girlfriend! I had put off looking for relationships for years until I could be able to support myself, and now that I can support myself, I have long since realized how friggan lonely I am. A major life barrier has been removed and now I can be open to happiness (despite my positive and friendly demeanor, I have been significantly depressed for years, I just don't let it be detrimental to moving forward or affecting others), and now I'm basically wasting a lot of my motivation trying to find -somebody- that I can love and it's proving tremendously difficult, despite my numerous efforts in dating and self-upkeep and so on. It's like the job hunt all over again, but in regards to something I've wanted for even longer.
Basically, I'm saying that despite my goals with Nimin, and all the thoughts and plans and pretty clear paths to take with it, I just haven't had the time nor energy needed to do so.
So what's going on?
There are people currently helping writing out new content. A friend is also close to finishing up a new GUI for the game that looks way better than a bunch of boxes.
I have been redoing a lot of the "core" of the game. I spent 8+ hours just redoing -breasts-. And I mean on a root level. Breast growth is no longer just an "add an inch per growth" thing. Breast growth is now volumetric; you gain breast "weight" and that "weight" gets calculated into the girth of the boob. What does that mean? It's now slower to get to larger sizes of breasts, so it's harder for somebody to get huge "by accident"; you need to make a concerted effort to grow breasts. And that means there's more opportunity for items and leveling for people that want to get to ginormous sizes of breasts. This also meant better milk-production calculations so you can see significant swelling and limits to milk that actually makes sense. This also means better descriptions of breasts. "2 inches" of breast size on a 9-foot tall amazon is far less significant than a 3-inch tall fairy. One would be considered almost flat-chested, while the other would have tits nearly as large as themselves. Now the game can actually regard that. Breast descriptions are now in relation to the player's size, and I've almost doubled the number of descriptions. And I can actually provide chest, bust, waist measurements to help with that. Yes, that means a broad muscular chest affects how big your breasts are in comparison. Yes, that means I can track slim vs fat. Yes, I can provide actual numbers to the appearance box so people have an actual idea as to what this shit means, rather than some vague hand-wavy crap.
Those kinds of changes have happened with pregnancy and bellies. Cocks. Balls. Nipples. I still need to do hips and butts. And then after those changes have been made, I need to go through the game and add the support for the new system. And then I need to rewrite the appearance description.
And then I need to rewrite how variables are tracked so we can have better-tracked NPCs as well. And then I want to remove "violence" from "combat" because it makes no sense in a sex game; why the fuck are you slashing at someone with a sword when you're playing the game more for growing a giant dick to masturbate to? And then I want to remove prostitution, because easily accessible sex removes a great deal of potential gameplay. And then I need to rework how currency works so you wouldn't need something like prostitution to begin with. And then I need to rework being "over-burdened" with a system that is nicer to players so they don't feel the need to have as much currency, which is now way more possible thanks to the reworked sizing system. And then I want to add a system so a writer's name is clearly credited when you reach their scenes, and then I want a system to be able to overmouse items in your bag to get quick descriptions without needing to click on them, and then I want to make apk files so people can play the game on android devices, and then and then and then...
And that's not even close to what I want to do with the actual content of the game! All that shit is just stuff under the hood to make the game feel like a better game and not just a dating-sim. That's why I needed writing help. I spent 8+ hours on just TITS (not to be confused with TiTS). Imagine how long all the rest of what I just spouted out is going to take! And then all the content on top of that!
I do have a vision for the game. All that I spouted above is possible, I even know what the actual code is to do it so it's not just a bunch of empty bullshit. I just do not have the resources to get it done.
What I need for the game to be "alive"
Nimin is not a for-profit venture. I don't have a patreon set up to take money to support it. The only money I got for the game was a couple small chunks during donation drives when I was in a serious jam. I've avoided making Nimin a for-profit venture because all of my works have been free. Why? Because I understand what it means to not have money and needing some kind of entertainment. I understand what it means to want to feel accepted despite how shit the world is towards "weird tastes". I understand that there just isn't much of this out there. Could I make money off this? Seeing how CoC and TiTS goes, yeah, I'm sure I could, but then Nimin wouldn't be a passion project to fill roles that are missing in the world. It would be a job. And I've got a job already that pays better and looks better on my resume than "made porn game with horsecocks". This stuff is my hobby that I share, just like all the other artists and writers share.
And for Nimin to continue to grow, I need other people that feel the same way. I need writers that want to add content. I need coders to fill out the underlying mechanics. And I'm not looking to "hire" people to fill out my vision. What I'm saying is Nimin lives or dies by the interest others have in continuing it.
I can very easily move on from Nimin. I have other smaller projects in mind that I can work on by myself. While I enjoyed working on Nimin, and I'll still do tweaks here and there and I'll likely always have a "gameplan" on where to take it and I'll definitely support others that want to work on it, I have little personal investment in seeing it get finished. By that I mean I don't see it as some grand achievement to complete nor some semblance of myself that needs to be shared. Nimin is, and has always been, a project out of passion to just -do it-, not because -it needs to be done-.
Yes, I did have to specify that because when I have asked for assistance before, people brought up money - being paid to provide their "services". I don't give a shit about services. I just care about people being interested in working on a project that they feel they want to contribute to because they like it. It is a great way to gain experience in working on a coded project. It is a great way to gain experience in developing a game. It is a great way to get your own kinks and ideas into something that others will see. Heck, if you think putting "made porn game with horsecocks" on your resume will help you with getting other jobs, you're welcome to use this as an opportunity.
So yes, I can use coders. People that can go through the code and improve it, to do the things that I see as necessary and potentially add things they think can help.
I can use writers. People that can fill out the content to make the game more diverse and enjoyable to people. People that can understand what is required to write well and can follow through on using the mechanics employed in the game to write out scenes that have multiple dimensions and take into account they are for a game, as explained here.
I need people that understand how a project benefits from both new ideas and following somebody else's ideas. There is a game here that benefits from certain things, but if you're not wary, it can become a detriment. That's why I will most definitely shoot down certain ideas and push for particular ones. Yes, a whole new mechanic could be cool, but if it's completely unrelated to the themes of the game and you can't personally fill it out to make the mechanic have a legit purpose, then no, it's not worth putting into the game. Trust me, I've learned this myself the hard way. I'm sure some people remember the "fetishes" mechanic that once existed. And I've worked on other things that suffer from the same problem. So I will still act as a "project leader" that will guide Nimin, and while I encourage people to bring in new ideas and express themselves, I want people to understand I will have some restrictions to make the game better in the long run.
So... Now what?
People are working on the game currently. Not many, but a few whose work will come out well when they are finished. There's still lots of room for people to work on it, if there is interest.
So, this journal is to let people know what is going on and determine if they themselves are interested. A lot of the underlying work I've been doing on the game is to help support others in assisting with the game. I will continue do do that. If there is a significant interest in working on the game, in turning Nimin into more of a community project, then I will look into finding a place for a community to work together. I'm not going to pre-emptively do that though, because I generally avoid doing extra work if it's not going to be useful, lol.
Currently, I have the code base for the game here:
https://github.com/XaderaDiddle/Nim.....imin%20v1/code
The only thing not there is the Flash work-file that stores the visual objects (the buttons and text boxes and stuff). The Flash work-file has a single line of code to load in the code that you see in that link, that's all. That's just my way of retaining "ownership" over the project, but otherwise, yeah, that link is pretty much all that Nimin is. There's more details here.
So yeah, that's about all of what I've got to say. I'll respond to inquiries or whatnot, but now if anybody has questions about what's going on with Nimin, this is the most accurate journal currently :)
Some history
First, here's some background. When I started Nimin, it was a passion project after seeing UTG (what would eventually become CoC). I saw UTG, I liked the idea behind it, and I thought "Gee, I really like the idea here, but it doesn't quite suit my tastes, and there's some ways I'd want to do things differently". That was that, I saw something I wanted more of and the only way to get more was to make it myself. So I did. I didn't plan it out too much at first, I mostly had fun just rolling out the concept, building it however I thought would be interesting.
I started Nimin after being unemployed for 2+ years (yay graduating into a recession!) and was living in the middle of nowhere with my parents in a place I didn't like with my only friends being online. That life situation continued for another 3-ish years. That meant I had basically no life outside of my computers and the internet. Nimin and my writing was an escape-mechanism for me, a purpose I gave myself to want to continue living. I'm sure you get the gist of what I'm saying there.
Then, after 5 years of unemployment, I finally caught a break thanks to a certain someone in the fandom and I actually got a job. I had to move somewhere that was the opposite of the middle of nowhere, I had to get used to the work I was doing, I had to get used to living alone, I had to get used to finally "living". I no longer had the necessity nor time to work on Nimin. But I still did; I had a small update a year after I started working. But when I did that, I had been working with code at my job for a while and the many glaring problems with continued support of Nimin started to show through. I was realizing more and more what Nimin -needed- to be better, and I was actually planning out the long-term goals with Nimin. While before I was doing things as they came, I was now thoroughly thinking it through. And there was so much that needed to be updated!
That left a bad taste in my mouth. I could no longer just haphazardly add stuff because it was becoming harder and harder to do it. So I took a break and worked on something else. The God's Lewd Labyrinth. That was proof to myself that I could build something out from beginning to end, even while my real life was going.
The problem
I now know what I'm doing with Nimin. I know what I want to change, what I need to change it to, what I need to fill out, all sorts of stuff that would make the game much better and more enjoyable to everybody. The list became -enormous-. I realized I needed help, I could no longer do it myself. Over 2 years ago, I started to legitimately look for help. At first I was really hesitant and had high standards. That pushed off a bunch of people. As I continued going, I realized that the standards didn't matter if nothing actually got done. Over the past year, I've made a much better effort in accepting and looking for help.
There are multiple people willing to help with the writing of new content. I really appreciate their efforts. It's nowhere near as fast as I used to be able to get content done, but people have lives just like I do and experience the same issues that I do. No matter what happens, I'm going to make sure their efforts come to fruition. Even if I don't get all the things done that I want to get done, I will still release a new version of the game with their updates because they are awesome.
The problem, however, comes down to all the other things that need to be updated... I'll get to the details in the next section, but essentially, doing things "right" takes a while. And as much as I say to myself "I'll do more when I'm off from work"... I don't. When I'm off from work, my desires are to play video games and watch TV so I can recharge so I can do even better at work because I like what I do and I get rewarded well for doing it. And even when I do have the impetus to do things, I'm focusing on my next step in life: finding a girlfriend! I had put off looking for relationships for years until I could be able to support myself, and now that I can support myself, I have long since realized how friggan lonely I am. A major life barrier has been removed and now I can be open to happiness (despite my positive and friendly demeanor, I have been significantly depressed for years, I just don't let it be detrimental to moving forward or affecting others), and now I'm basically wasting a lot of my motivation trying to find -somebody- that I can love and it's proving tremendously difficult, despite my numerous efforts in dating and self-upkeep and so on. It's like the job hunt all over again, but in regards to something I've wanted for even longer.
Basically, I'm saying that despite my goals with Nimin, and all the thoughts and plans and pretty clear paths to take with it, I just haven't had the time nor energy needed to do so.
So what's going on?
There are people currently helping writing out new content. A friend is also close to finishing up a new GUI for the game that looks way better than a bunch of boxes.
I have been redoing a lot of the "core" of the game. I spent 8+ hours just redoing -breasts-. And I mean on a root level. Breast growth is no longer just an "add an inch per growth" thing. Breast growth is now volumetric; you gain breast "weight" and that "weight" gets calculated into the girth of the boob. What does that mean? It's now slower to get to larger sizes of breasts, so it's harder for somebody to get huge "by accident"; you need to make a concerted effort to grow breasts. And that means there's more opportunity for items and leveling for people that want to get to ginormous sizes of breasts. This also meant better milk-production calculations so you can see significant swelling and limits to milk that actually makes sense. This also means better descriptions of breasts. "2 inches" of breast size on a 9-foot tall amazon is far less significant than a 3-inch tall fairy. One would be considered almost flat-chested, while the other would have tits nearly as large as themselves. Now the game can actually regard that. Breast descriptions are now in relation to the player's size, and I've almost doubled the number of descriptions. And I can actually provide chest, bust, waist measurements to help with that. Yes, that means a broad muscular chest affects how big your breasts are in comparison. Yes, that means I can track slim vs fat. Yes, I can provide actual numbers to the appearance box so people have an actual idea as to what this shit means, rather than some vague hand-wavy crap.
Those kinds of changes have happened with pregnancy and bellies. Cocks. Balls. Nipples. I still need to do hips and butts. And then after those changes have been made, I need to go through the game and add the support for the new system. And then I need to rewrite the appearance description.
And then I need to rewrite how variables are tracked so we can have better-tracked NPCs as well. And then I want to remove "violence" from "combat" because it makes no sense in a sex game; why the fuck are you slashing at someone with a sword when you're playing the game more for growing a giant dick to masturbate to? And then I want to remove prostitution, because easily accessible sex removes a great deal of potential gameplay. And then I need to rework how currency works so you wouldn't need something like prostitution to begin with. And then I need to rework being "over-burdened" with a system that is nicer to players so they don't feel the need to have as much currency, which is now way more possible thanks to the reworked sizing system. And then I want to add a system so a writer's name is clearly credited when you reach their scenes, and then I want a system to be able to overmouse items in your bag to get quick descriptions without needing to click on them, and then I want to make apk files so people can play the game on android devices, and then and then and then...
And that's not even close to what I want to do with the actual content of the game! All that shit is just stuff under the hood to make the game feel like a better game and not just a dating-sim. That's why I needed writing help. I spent 8+ hours on just TITS (not to be confused with TiTS). Imagine how long all the rest of what I just spouted out is going to take! And then all the content on top of that!
I do have a vision for the game. All that I spouted above is possible, I even know what the actual code is to do it so it's not just a bunch of empty bullshit. I just do not have the resources to get it done.
What I need for the game to be "alive"
Nimin is not a for-profit venture. I don't have a patreon set up to take money to support it. The only money I got for the game was a couple small chunks during donation drives when I was in a serious jam. I've avoided making Nimin a for-profit venture because all of my works have been free. Why? Because I understand what it means to not have money and needing some kind of entertainment. I understand what it means to want to feel accepted despite how shit the world is towards "weird tastes". I understand that there just isn't much of this out there. Could I make money off this? Seeing how CoC and TiTS goes, yeah, I'm sure I could, but then Nimin wouldn't be a passion project to fill roles that are missing in the world. It would be a job. And I've got a job already that pays better and looks better on my resume than "made porn game with horsecocks". This stuff is my hobby that I share, just like all the other artists and writers share.
And for Nimin to continue to grow, I need other people that feel the same way. I need writers that want to add content. I need coders to fill out the underlying mechanics. And I'm not looking to "hire" people to fill out my vision. What I'm saying is Nimin lives or dies by the interest others have in continuing it.
I can very easily move on from Nimin. I have other smaller projects in mind that I can work on by myself. While I enjoyed working on Nimin, and I'll still do tweaks here and there and I'll likely always have a "gameplan" on where to take it and I'll definitely support others that want to work on it, I have little personal investment in seeing it get finished. By that I mean I don't see it as some grand achievement to complete nor some semblance of myself that needs to be shared. Nimin is, and has always been, a project out of passion to just -do it-, not because -it needs to be done-.
Yes, I did have to specify that because when I have asked for assistance before, people brought up money - being paid to provide their "services". I don't give a shit about services. I just care about people being interested in working on a project that they feel they want to contribute to because they like it. It is a great way to gain experience in working on a coded project. It is a great way to gain experience in developing a game. It is a great way to get your own kinks and ideas into something that others will see. Heck, if you think putting "made porn game with horsecocks" on your resume will help you with getting other jobs, you're welcome to use this as an opportunity.
So yes, I can use coders. People that can go through the code and improve it, to do the things that I see as necessary and potentially add things they think can help.
I can use writers. People that can fill out the content to make the game more diverse and enjoyable to people. People that can understand what is required to write well and can follow through on using the mechanics employed in the game to write out scenes that have multiple dimensions and take into account they are for a game, as explained here.
I need people that understand how a project benefits from both new ideas and following somebody else's ideas. There is a game here that benefits from certain things, but if you're not wary, it can become a detriment. That's why I will most definitely shoot down certain ideas and push for particular ones. Yes, a whole new mechanic could be cool, but if it's completely unrelated to the themes of the game and you can't personally fill it out to make the mechanic have a legit purpose, then no, it's not worth putting into the game. Trust me, I've learned this myself the hard way. I'm sure some people remember the "fetishes" mechanic that once existed. And I've worked on other things that suffer from the same problem. So I will still act as a "project leader" that will guide Nimin, and while I encourage people to bring in new ideas and express themselves, I want people to understand I will have some restrictions to make the game better in the long run.
So... Now what?
People are working on the game currently. Not many, but a few whose work will come out well when they are finished. There's still lots of room for people to work on it, if there is interest.
So, this journal is to let people know what is going on and determine if they themselves are interested. A lot of the underlying work I've been doing on the game is to help support others in assisting with the game. I will continue do do that. If there is a significant interest in working on the game, in turning Nimin into more of a community project, then I will look into finding a place for a community to work together. I'm not going to pre-emptively do that though, because I generally avoid doing extra work if it's not going to be useful, lol.
Currently, I have the code base for the game here:
https://github.com/XaderaDiddle/Nim.....imin%20v1/code
The only thing not there is the Flash work-file that stores the visual objects (the buttons and text boxes and stuff). The Flash work-file has a single line of code to load in the code that you see in that link, that's all. That's just my way of retaining "ownership" over the project, but otherwise, yeah, that link is pretty much all that Nimin is. There's more details here.
So yeah, that's about all of what I've got to say. I'll respond to inquiries or whatnot, but now if anybody has questions about what's going on with Nimin, this is the most accurate journal currently :)
Some stuff posted to Inkbunny
Posted 8 years agoI realized I've never explicitly stated this, but I figured some of you might be interested.
There's some things that I've posted to my Inkbunny account that I haven't posted here. Just some stories or commissions that don't quite fit here.
https://inkbunny.net/Xadera
Game-related stuff is being posted here primarily though, so if you're not interested beyond the games, then don't worry about it :)
There's some things that I've posted to my Inkbunny account that I haven't posted here. Just some stories or commissions that don't quite fit here.
https://inkbunny.net/Xadera
Game-related stuff is being posted here primarily though, so if you're not interested beyond the games, then don't worry about it :)
Sex Facts/Theories with Xadera~
Posted 8 years agoWith the survey a few weeks ago, I brought up some things that some people seemed surprised/unknowledgeable about. In my "research" for all the kinky things I write about, I have learned a bit and there's quite a few things that many people don't know about and many people may want to keep in mind for their future. I even incorporate a bunch of this stuff into my writing/games. So I figure "why not explicitly state what they are/how they work?". So here we go.
Alternate title - "Things you should have been taught in health class"
I'm kinda imagining a comic with Xadera as the sex-ed teacher pointing out all of these things XD
Lactation
Breastfeeding vs Pleasure - One stigma about breastfeeding is that people associate breasts/nipples with sexual pleasure. Because, yeah, nipples are pleasurable. They should be. The sexual stimulation received from nipples is an evolutionary measure to encourage breastfeeding. People often think of breastfeeding as a chore they just have to do in child-raising for X number of months and that's that. But, ideally, breastfeeding should be done out of enjoyment for the act, rather than based on some social construct, because babies often benefit from further breastfeeding, even past the first year. Just because you feel sexual pleasure with the child does not mean you are feeling sexual pleasure -for- the child and shouldn't be shunned as some kind of ass-backwards pedophilia. Such fears only hurt the child and the relationship with them.
Inducing vs Pregnancy - Pregnancy is how most people think lactation occurs. Which is true; the hormones released during pregnancy are set up to specifically trigger lactation. However, you don't need to get pregnant to induce lactation. There are drugs that can cause lactation as a side-effect, yes, but theoretically everybody should be able to manually induce lactation. When nipples are stimulated in a certain way, the body releases hormones that feel good (in addition to the immediate pleasure). With regular stimulation to simulate breastfeeding, the body takes that trigger as "I need to make milk now", and with continued regular stimulation, the hormones will build up the process to release milk. So, anybody should theoretically be able to induce lactation. Even men! The only caveats are that developed breast tissue is necessary (which just requires a bit of estrogen), and that the process of simulating regular feeding can take a couple months of determination to eventually trigger it. There are guides on how to accomplish it around.
Increasing milk supply - This is a rather interesting aspect of lactating. The body actually regulates milk production based on supply and demand. If the breasts are regularly fully emptied (like every 2 hours), the body has triggers that realize "Oh, I'm not making enough to keep up with the demand, I need to make more". The body will put more resources to the breasts, increasing the mammary glands, and slowly build the milk production. I am aware of cases where milk production was easily 5-10x what a normal mother-feeding-child would get, just by making an effort to always drain the breasts dry. So yeah, those fantasies about human dairy farms are actually pretty possible. And on the flip-side, if the breasts aren't fully drained at a steady rate, the body realizes it's making more than necessary, and starts removing the resources and lowers production.
Breast growth via lactation - Per the above, increasing milk supply means increasing the mammary glands. Breasts are generally made up of 2 tissues: mammary tissue and fat tissue. Breasts are an area where fat is deposited, usually to protect the mammary tissue; so one way to increase breast size is to get fatter. That's not something many women want to do, though. However, with puberty and pregnancy, the growth initially comes from the development of the mammary tissue, first from estrogen, then from preparations to lactate. The more the breasts need to lactate, the more mammary tissue builds up for increased production. The body even has a process to remove fat to make room for mammary tissue as it grows, but also has to re-deposit the fat around the breast to protect it, overall increasing the size of the breast with the greater amounts of lactation.
Lactation and weight loss - One "problem" women might find with trying to lose weight is that their breasts shrink as well. For some this is a good thing, for others they find this to be a problem. Losing weight means losing fat, losing fat means losing the fat that makes up the breasts, so losing weight means shrinking breasts. Lactation prevents this. When lactating, the body is triggering around building mammary tissue and ensuring there's fat to protect it. This means the body will actually make the breasts a priority when depositing fat, and drop the priority on removing fat from breasts. So, lactating when trying to lose weight will make the breasts one of the last places that shrink, while also reducing the amount of fat being re-deposited elsewhere on your body.
"Deflated breasts" after lactation? - One fear with lactation is how it often leads to the "deflated" look of breasts after the fact. It takes away the perkiness. Yes, this will happen, for a reason, BUT it can be prevented. As the mammary tissue takes the place of some of the structural fat in the breasts during lactation, when you stop lactating, the mammary tissue will shrink, and now all the fat it had replaced is gone so the breasts just look deflated without any structure to support them. However, just as the body has a process to remove fat to make room for the mammary tissue, it also has a process to add back fat to replace the mammary tissue as the mammary tissue shrinks. This process just isn't as fast as the process of shrinking mammary tissue. If a woman builds up milk production from breastfeeding, but then tries to cut off the breastfeeding as fast as possible, the mammary tissue will shrink faster than the fat can be deposited to replace it. The way around this is simple: reduce lactation slowly so the body can keep up. When pumping/breastfeeding, leave just a little bit of milk left to trigger a little bit of reduction. Give time for the body to add back the fats before reducing further. Take what mothers might do in a single month and spread it over six to a year, and you'll see a whole lot less deflation. Ie, you can increase breast size from lactation, and still be able to keep that size when you stop lactating!
Pregnancy
Sex during pregnancy - Sex is mostly safe during pregnancy. Unless you've got a massive horse dick that can thrust all the way to the womb, or you're bashing against the belly out of some weird sex kink, there's no worries about harming the baby. I'm sure most of you reading this are already aware, but it's something often not known among the common population. And no, you definitely can't "jizz on the fetus"; the cervix gets capped off during pregnancy, separating it from the vagina and preventing any fluids from going either way. Just don't go out of your way to stick a dick through that cap and you'll be good.
Sex is good! - Sex during pregnancy has a multitude of benefits. In many cases (but not all!), pregnant women are usually hornier, thanks to the hormones and various pressures being placed on their bodies. It's good to encourage that, both for confidence and love and whatnot. But, it's also especially good because it's muscle-training for the birth. All of those stupid classes to flex your crotch for birth? Similar idea, but sex is a bit more fun and less awkward, imo.
Sex during birth? - I don't actually mean trying to stick in a dick when the baby is coming out. That's a bad idea. However, sexual stimulation and arousal during birth can make sooooo much of the birthing process better. First of all, arousal in women actually stretches out the vagina, providing a better path for the baby to come through. Secondly, lubrication from arousal makes things more slippery and again assists in the baby coming out. Those two alone will make the process smoother and reduce the chances of any tearing of the vagina significantly, making it already worth it. But, thirdly, the pleasure can override the pain. Having an orgasm during birth can likely negate any pain being experienced. Don't believe me? Put a tiny bit of hot sauce on your genitals. Yes, it's going to hurt, a lot. But, then start masturbating. The pleasure from masturbating can even be amplified by the pain, making it an overall good experience. How do you think Masochists work? So, the next time you or your loved one is giving birth, definitely consider making it a sexual experience; pinch some nipples, rub some clits, etc. BUT! Only do it if you or your partner is prepared to do that in advance, and you both know what works as it's happening. Don't just take this info and slam it into an unsuspecting partner, that's not going to work (duh!).
Analogues
Clits are dicks. Sorta. - Most people understand that the clit is just a smaller dick. Yes, for the mostpart. Clits are actually most the firmer tube of flesh from the underside of the shaft, along with the head of the dick. The rest of the dick? Well...
Labia Majora are dicks too. Kinda. - The outer labia, the thicker plusher part that holds the rest of the vagina in, are actually supported by the same spongy tissue that the rest of a penis is made out of. The tissue that is often soft, but when aroused can engorge with blood and become stiffer, yet still relatively supple. So, when aroused, the outer lips actually swell a bit, just like penises do. It's something I want to do in some of my games/writing at some point, but I don't think many people understand that mechanism. But it is partially why labia pumping works and can be pleasurable, just like dick pumping can be. Check out some videos and you'll see.
Labia Minora is a scrotum - The clit is the inner part and tip of a dick, the outer labia is the shaft of the dick, the inner labia are essentially the scrotum. Not a surprise to most people. I'll also just say the clitoral hood is like the foreskin, the ovaries are balls, an inner pipe of a dick is a really small vagina, the womb is something inside the piping system of a dick that isn't even worth getting into.
Clit growth - The clit is the female dick, yes. But, if you add a bit of testosterone, that clit will actually grow. Men already have testosterone, so their dicks won't grow more from more testosterone. However, women don't have much testosterone, so adding more will cause their "dicks" to grow more to their genetic potential. Clits will actually take on more of a penis-like appearance as they become more visible. Google big clits, you'll get the gist. But, people also know that testosterone lowers your voice, gives you body hair, etc; not the features many women want in themselves. However, if you focus testosterone cream on the clitoris so its receptors pick it up first, continually massage the clitoris and pump it to encourage the growth, and remain careful of keeping a low dosage and being wary of other changes, it's possible to get the clit to grow before the other changes occur. And if the other changes do start to occur, they're temporary at first, and stopping the cream will make them go away as the testosterone gets flushed out. The clit will also shrink as well for the same reason, but if the massaging and pumping keep up, the shrinkage will be minimized and voila, a bigger clit without all the other features. This kind of treatment is actually suggested for those who can't seem to orgasm/find their clits or in general have a low libido, if they want it. It also works for women who don't have those conditions and can lead to some fun.
Breast growth in men - Just as testosterone will make a woman's clit grow but won't make a man's dick grow, estrogen will make a man's breasts grow whereas it wouldn't help for women. I'm not going to go into too many details, since it's something most people know about, but there's guides around if you're a man interested in your own breast growth. Even doing a little bit of it can assist in making the nipples feel great, just like it does for women. I'm not too sure how women would think of men growing breasts though, I should have asked that in the survey.
That's all for now
That's currently the major points I wanted to cover that I don't think there is enough knowledge going around for. So, hopefully you may have learned something and can pass the knowledge around. Knowledge is power!
If you want to corroborate any of the above info, I encourage you to leave a comment! If you want to debate any info, I'm welcome to that too! I've spent quite a bit of time scrounging the internet for this kind of info, because these topics aren't studied very well due to stupid social (and even scientific) taboos.
If you've got any additional info you think should be share, go ahead and comment to that regard as well. I'll try to confirm/debate it as appropriate, and potentially throw it up with the rest if it's something I really missed or did not know myself.
Alternate title - "Things you should have been taught in health class"
I'm kinda imagining a comic with Xadera as the sex-ed teacher pointing out all of these things XD
Lactation
Breastfeeding vs Pleasure - One stigma about breastfeeding is that people associate breasts/nipples with sexual pleasure. Because, yeah, nipples are pleasurable. They should be. The sexual stimulation received from nipples is an evolutionary measure to encourage breastfeeding. People often think of breastfeeding as a chore they just have to do in child-raising for X number of months and that's that. But, ideally, breastfeeding should be done out of enjoyment for the act, rather than based on some social construct, because babies often benefit from further breastfeeding, even past the first year. Just because you feel sexual pleasure with the child does not mean you are feeling sexual pleasure -for- the child and shouldn't be shunned as some kind of ass-backwards pedophilia. Such fears only hurt the child and the relationship with them.
Inducing vs Pregnancy - Pregnancy is how most people think lactation occurs. Which is true; the hormones released during pregnancy are set up to specifically trigger lactation. However, you don't need to get pregnant to induce lactation. There are drugs that can cause lactation as a side-effect, yes, but theoretically everybody should be able to manually induce lactation. When nipples are stimulated in a certain way, the body releases hormones that feel good (in addition to the immediate pleasure). With regular stimulation to simulate breastfeeding, the body takes that trigger as "I need to make milk now", and with continued regular stimulation, the hormones will build up the process to release milk. So, anybody should theoretically be able to induce lactation. Even men! The only caveats are that developed breast tissue is necessary (which just requires a bit of estrogen), and that the process of simulating regular feeding can take a couple months of determination to eventually trigger it. There are guides on how to accomplish it around.
Increasing milk supply - This is a rather interesting aspect of lactating. The body actually regulates milk production based on supply and demand. If the breasts are regularly fully emptied (like every 2 hours), the body has triggers that realize "Oh, I'm not making enough to keep up with the demand, I need to make more". The body will put more resources to the breasts, increasing the mammary glands, and slowly build the milk production. I am aware of cases where milk production was easily 5-10x what a normal mother-feeding-child would get, just by making an effort to always drain the breasts dry. So yeah, those fantasies about human dairy farms are actually pretty possible. And on the flip-side, if the breasts aren't fully drained at a steady rate, the body realizes it's making more than necessary, and starts removing the resources and lowers production.
Breast growth via lactation - Per the above, increasing milk supply means increasing the mammary glands. Breasts are generally made up of 2 tissues: mammary tissue and fat tissue. Breasts are an area where fat is deposited, usually to protect the mammary tissue; so one way to increase breast size is to get fatter. That's not something many women want to do, though. However, with puberty and pregnancy, the growth initially comes from the development of the mammary tissue, first from estrogen, then from preparations to lactate. The more the breasts need to lactate, the more mammary tissue builds up for increased production. The body even has a process to remove fat to make room for mammary tissue as it grows, but also has to re-deposit the fat around the breast to protect it, overall increasing the size of the breast with the greater amounts of lactation.
Lactation and weight loss - One "problem" women might find with trying to lose weight is that their breasts shrink as well. For some this is a good thing, for others they find this to be a problem. Losing weight means losing fat, losing fat means losing the fat that makes up the breasts, so losing weight means shrinking breasts. Lactation prevents this. When lactating, the body is triggering around building mammary tissue and ensuring there's fat to protect it. This means the body will actually make the breasts a priority when depositing fat, and drop the priority on removing fat from breasts. So, lactating when trying to lose weight will make the breasts one of the last places that shrink, while also reducing the amount of fat being re-deposited elsewhere on your body.
"Deflated breasts" after lactation? - One fear with lactation is how it often leads to the "deflated" look of breasts after the fact. It takes away the perkiness. Yes, this will happen, for a reason, BUT it can be prevented. As the mammary tissue takes the place of some of the structural fat in the breasts during lactation, when you stop lactating, the mammary tissue will shrink, and now all the fat it had replaced is gone so the breasts just look deflated without any structure to support them. However, just as the body has a process to remove fat to make room for the mammary tissue, it also has a process to add back fat to replace the mammary tissue as the mammary tissue shrinks. This process just isn't as fast as the process of shrinking mammary tissue. If a woman builds up milk production from breastfeeding, but then tries to cut off the breastfeeding as fast as possible, the mammary tissue will shrink faster than the fat can be deposited to replace it. The way around this is simple: reduce lactation slowly so the body can keep up. When pumping/breastfeeding, leave just a little bit of milk left to trigger a little bit of reduction. Give time for the body to add back the fats before reducing further. Take what mothers might do in a single month and spread it over six to a year, and you'll see a whole lot less deflation. Ie, you can increase breast size from lactation, and still be able to keep that size when you stop lactating!
Pregnancy
Sex during pregnancy - Sex is mostly safe during pregnancy. Unless you've got a massive horse dick that can thrust all the way to the womb, or you're bashing against the belly out of some weird sex kink, there's no worries about harming the baby. I'm sure most of you reading this are already aware, but it's something often not known among the common population. And no, you definitely can't "jizz on the fetus"; the cervix gets capped off during pregnancy, separating it from the vagina and preventing any fluids from going either way. Just don't go out of your way to stick a dick through that cap and you'll be good.
Sex is good! - Sex during pregnancy has a multitude of benefits. In many cases (but not all!), pregnant women are usually hornier, thanks to the hormones and various pressures being placed on their bodies. It's good to encourage that, both for confidence and love and whatnot. But, it's also especially good because it's muscle-training for the birth. All of those stupid classes to flex your crotch for birth? Similar idea, but sex is a bit more fun and less awkward, imo.
Sex during birth? - I don't actually mean trying to stick in a dick when the baby is coming out. That's a bad idea. However, sexual stimulation and arousal during birth can make sooooo much of the birthing process better. First of all, arousal in women actually stretches out the vagina, providing a better path for the baby to come through. Secondly, lubrication from arousal makes things more slippery and again assists in the baby coming out. Those two alone will make the process smoother and reduce the chances of any tearing of the vagina significantly, making it already worth it. But, thirdly, the pleasure can override the pain. Having an orgasm during birth can likely negate any pain being experienced. Don't believe me? Put a tiny bit of hot sauce on your genitals. Yes, it's going to hurt, a lot. But, then start masturbating. The pleasure from masturbating can even be amplified by the pain, making it an overall good experience. How do you think Masochists work? So, the next time you or your loved one is giving birth, definitely consider making it a sexual experience; pinch some nipples, rub some clits, etc. BUT! Only do it if you or your partner is prepared to do that in advance, and you both know what works as it's happening. Don't just take this info and slam it into an unsuspecting partner, that's not going to work (duh!).
Analogues
Clits are dicks. Sorta. - Most people understand that the clit is just a smaller dick. Yes, for the mostpart. Clits are actually most the firmer tube of flesh from the underside of the shaft, along with the head of the dick. The rest of the dick? Well...
Labia Majora are dicks too. Kinda. - The outer labia, the thicker plusher part that holds the rest of the vagina in, are actually supported by the same spongy tissue that the rest of a penis is made out of. The tissue that is often soft, but when aroused can engorge with blood and become stiffer, yet still relatively supple. So, when aroused, the outer lips actually swell a bit, just like penises do. It's something I want to do in some of my games/writing at some point, but I don't think many people understand that mechanism. But it is partially why labia pumping works and can be pleasurable, just like dick pumping can be. Check out some videos and you'll see.
Labia Minora is a scrotum - The clit is the inner part and tip of a dick, the outer labia is the shaft of the dick, the inner labia are essentially the scrotum. Not a surprise to most people. I'll also just say the clitoral hood is like the foreskin, the ovaries are balls, an inner pipe of a dick is a really small vagina, the womb is something inside the piping system of a dick that isn't even worth getting into.
Clit growth - The clit is the female dick, yes. But, if you add a bit of testosterone, that clit will actually grow. Men already have testosterone, so their dicks won't grow more from more testosterone. However, women don't have much testosterone, so adding more will cause their "dicks" to grow more to their genetic potential. Clits will actually take on more of a penis-like appearance as they become more visible. Google big clits, you'll get the gist. But, people also know that testosterone lowers your voice, gives you body hair, etc; not the features many women want in themselves. However, if you focus testosterone cream on the clitoris so its receptors pick it up first, continually massage the clitoris and pump it to encourage the growth, and remain careful of keeping a low dosage and being wary of other changes, it's possible to get the clit to grow before the other changes occur. And if the other changes do start to occur, they're temporary at first, and stopping the cream will make them go away as the testosterone gets flushed out. The clit will also shrink as well for the same reason, but if the massaging and pumping keep up, the shrinkage will be minimized and voila, a bigger clit without all the other features. This kind of treatment is actually suggested for those who can't seem to orgasm/find their clits or in general have a low libido, if they want it. It also works for women who don't have those conditions and can lead to some fun.
Breast growth in men - Just as testosterone will make a woman's clit grow but won't make a man's dick grow, estrogen will make a man's breasts grow whereas it wouldn't help for women. I'm not going to go into too many details, since it's something most people know about, but there's guides around if you're a man interested in your own breast growth. Even doing a little bit of it can assist in making the nipples feel great, just like it does for women. I'm not too sure how women would think of men growing breasts though, I should have asked that in the survey.
That's all for now
That's currently the major points I wanted to cover that I don't think there is enough knowledge going around for. So, hopefully you may have learned something and can pass the knowledge around. Knowledge is power!
If you want to corroborate any of the above info, I encourage you to leave a comment! If you want to debate any info, I'm welcome to that too! I've spent quite a bit of time scrounging the internet for this kind of info, because these topics aren't studied very well due to stupid social (and even scientific) taboos.
If you've got any additional info you think should be share, go ahead and comment to that regard as well. I'll try to confirm/debate it as appropriate, and potentially throw it up with the rest if it's something I really missed or did not know myself.
Survey - The results!
Posted 8 years agoAlright, I have spent a few hours going through the results of the survey, and here's the generalized data that I have found. But first, I have a few things I need to preface with!
1) THIS IS NOT INDICATIVE OF RIGHT AND WRONG! - Whether you're in the minority, majority, etc, it doesn't matter if people like what you like or dislike what you like, this is not proof that you are correct or wrong in what you enjoy. Everybody has their own preferences, and even if yours are more popular or not, that is no reason to think you are better or worse than anybody else. Despite getting data, the main things I want people to know is to RESPECT each other and yourselves.
2) This data is HEAVILY BIASED and is NOT scientifically accurate AT ALL.
- The sample size is far too small to get any significant statistical correlations
- The sample group is restricted to those who saw the survey on this site within the past couple of days and actually WANTED to take the survey. In other words, it's likely people who shared the survey with others likely already have shared interests with those others, and thus bias the survey to that regard.
- The sample group is restricted to those who likely already watch me, which means they are into some of the things I put out. And the stuff I put out can be pretty weird, compared to others!
3) There's a lot of things that there just wasn't enough data for, so if I don't specify a trend, just assume that it was so evenly distributed that there was nothing to point out, or there was so little responses that it wasn't worth pointing out.
4) Thank you to everybody who participated! I know a lot of you shared some pretty personal stuff in this survey, which I am not sharing, but I appreciate the candidness and hope you all do well! :)
So, the results... First I'm going to start with the notes I took from eyeballing the data. These are things I noticed and thought were things people might like to know. When I say "females" and "males" here, it's kinda fuzzy, mostly it's birth gender, but can dip a little into identified gender, but there's not enough data to refine it further. These are also notes, with additional notes that I'm adding now).
Result Notes
males - similar percentage of "not birth gender" as females
females - put androdgynous more, no identifying as males
males - bit on the heavier side
females - weights average out
everybody - heights average out
everybody - more towards the "unfit" side (Understandable, considering this is a community that is largly on computers).
everybody - stick more to "own beliefs" than religions
everybody - first sexual experiences were largely "maybe"
males - more spontaneously aroused than females
everybody - seek out erotica about the same rate regardless of gender, when averaged comes to about once per week to once per day
everybody - erotic reading scored highly (Totally a bias of those that watch me, since my stuff involves reading usually XD)
males - more fictional single pictures for source of erotica
females - more animated videos for source of erotica
everybody - masturbates at about the same rates regardless of gender, especially in the 1-4 per week or once per day range
orgasm success rate - about the same percentages, but only females had 0% success rates. no correlation to breast size or penis size or clit size, or almost any body feature (weight, height, fitness, etc)
orgasm success rate - those whose clits did not leave their clitoral hood seem to have a lower success rate, though there's plenty that had a high success rate with it. (No causality here, just an observation.)
females and female-gendered males - enjoy their nipples more than male-gendered males
female lubrication - "drooling" is average
female pleasure - clitoral, then nipples, then g-spot
men - largely penile, anal was as common as most of the other options
prefered partners
females - generally prefer females or are bi, very few only-males (I imagine this is largely due to the sample bias)
males - largely female and some males
female - prefer more on the slim-average side of weight
males - prefer more averaging out of weight
females - prefer more on the stronger side than males
females - breast size preference averages out pretty evenly from small to large
males - breast size preference averages out a little on the larger side
females - around 6-8" penis size, some preference on larger, but also a few that prefer smaller
everybody - desire for 50-75% kinks in common
females - 25-50% kink difference max
males - 50% kink difference max
everybody - scat, guro, snuff, vomit was pretty largely the ones mentioned as strict no-nos, and even then only 50% specified strict no-nos
males - pregnancy was more common among those that marked a necessary kink (though still only just a few) (Definitely sample bias here, I imagine)
females - lactation was more common among those that marked a necessary kink (though still only just a few) (Definitely sample bias here, I imagine)
males - more commonly marked "open minded" as a necessary extra factor, whereas females did not regard this
Calculated Results
This section I actually wrote out a script to go through the data and calculate things for me. This is the actual output from the script. I specified females that identify as females, males that identify as males, and then "other" for all other cases. The "other" group is because of the low sample size for every possibility, but they all have the fact they did not mark their birth gender as their identified gender, or had "it's complicated", so there could be correlations observed there.
This data is also just strict numbers, no analysis. Again, if your kink scored high or low, don't worry, everybody has their own interests!
Female identifying as female - 14 total
General 'Real' average = 2.76
General 'Fictional' average = 3.06
Average number of 1s for 'Real' kinks = 13.64
Average number of 5s for 'Real' kinks = 7.07
Average number of 1s for 'Fictional' kinks = 11.29
Average number of 5s for 'Fictional' kinks = 12.5
Top 5 'Real' kinks
"Being submissive (taking orders being forced to do things) during sex?", 4.29
"Roleplaying during sex?", 4.14
"Sexual toys during sex/masturbation?", 3.86
"Oral sex from somebody else?", 3.71
"Lactation?", 3.71
Bottom 5 'Real' kinks
"Wearing diapers WITH peeing/pooping?", 1.0
"Pooping during sex/masturbation?", 1.0
"Wearing diapers WITHOUT peeing/pooping?", 1.14
"Adult Baby play?", 1.43
"Peeing during sex/masturbation?", 1.43
Top 5 'Fictional' kinks
"Loving sex", 4.21
"Size play (one much larger than the other)", 4.21
"Impregnation (but not necessarily the pregnancy)", 4.14
"Anthropomorphic animals (furries etc)", 4.07
"Original characters", 3.86
Bottom 5 'Fictional' kinks
"Scat", 1.0
"Snuff (death)", 1.21
"Guro (blood and gore)", 1.36
"Diapers", 1.43
"Cocknipples", 1.79
Male identifying as male - 32 total
General 'Real' average = 2.45
General 'Fictional' average = 2.9
Average number of 1s for 'Real' kinks = 15.34
Average number of 5s for 'Real' kinks = 5.84
Average number of 1s for 'Fictional' kinks = 13.59
Average number of 5s for 'Fictional' kinks = 11.5
Top 5 'Real' kinks
"Oral sex from somebody else?", 3.53
"Roleplaying during sex?", 3.53
"Being submissive (taking orders being forced to do things) during sex?", 3.53
"Sexual activity from partner while you're busy with a non-sexual task?", 3.44
"Oral sex for somebody else?", 3.44
Bottom 5 'Real' kinks
"Pooping during sex/masturbation?", 1.09
"Blood/cutting?", 1.19
"Wearing diapers WITH peeing/pooping?", 1.25
"Wearing diapers WITHOUT peeing/pooping?", 1.38
"Torture bondage?", 1.41
Top 5 'Fictional' kinks
"Loving sex", 4.53
"Breast growth/large breasts", 3.97
"Girl on Girl", 3.94
"Transformation to animal/animal features", 3.84
"Anthropomorphic animals (furries etc)", 3.84
Bottom 5 'Fictional' kinks
"Scat", 1.28
"Guro (blood and gore)", 1.5
"Diapers", 1.53
"Snuff (death)", 1.56
"Odorous", 1.78
Other - 19 total
General 'Real' average = 2.93
General 'Fictional' average = 3.1
Average number of 1s for 'Real' kinks = 10.16
Average number of 5s for 'Real' kinks = 7.74
Average number of 1s for 'Fictional' kinks = 10.79
Average number of 5s for 'Fictional' kinks = 12.74
Top 5 'Real' kinks
"Sexual toys during sex/masturbation?", 4.11
"Oral sex for somebody else?", 3.95
"Oral sex from somebody else?", 3.74
"Crossdressing in private?", 3.74
"Breast growth via inducing lactation from excess nipple stimulation?", 3.74
Bottom 5 'Real' kinks
"Wearing diapers WITH peeing/pooping?", 1.21
"Pooping during sex/masturbation?", 1.26
"Adult Baby play?", 1.32
"Wearing diapers WITHOUT peeing/pooping?", 1.37
"Smoking?", 1.58
Top 5 'Fictional' kinks
"Anthropomorphic animals (furries etc)", 4.53
"Male becoming female", 4.32
"Transformation to animal/animal features", 4.11
"Monsters", 4.05
"Girl on Girl", 4.05
Bottom 5 'Fictional' kinks
"Scat", 1.32
"Diapers", 1.37
"Snuff (death)", 1.63
"Guro (blood and gore)", 1.84
"Odorous", 1.89
Differences between male and female kink averages (Not including 'other')
Top 5 females scored higher than males, real
"Sensory deprivation?", 1.04
"Exhibitionism?", 1.03
"Hidden vibrator when in public?", 0.94
"Labia pumping?", 0.86
"Sexual activity hidden in public?", 0.86
Top 5 males scored higher than females, real
"Inflation via fluids?", 0.53
"Inflation via air?", 0.31
"Wearing diapers WITH peeing/pooping?", 0.25
"Wearing diapers WITHOUT peeing/pooping?", 0.24
"Breast implants?", 0.18
Top 5 females scored higher than males, fictional
"Forced compliance to sex (unwanted but agreed to)", 0.87
"Monstrous/Alien", 0.83
""Mean" sex (revenge jealousy etc)", 0.8
"Female becoming male", 0.72
"Cute/Kawaii", 0.6
Top 5 males scored higher than females, fictional
"Testicle growth/large testicles", 0.77
"Penis growth/large penis", 0.61
"Transformation to animal/animal features", 0.55
"Inflation", 0.48
"Hyper penis", 0.42
Final Observations
I was one to think that females would be more likely to avoid weirder kinks than most males. But, from the data above, it looks like females actually scored kinks higher overall tham males. And, logically, those that fall under the "other" category seem to be more accepting of kinks in general.
Although, most important to point out is... the difference is really really small. It's easily accounted for just from having a small sample size. But I think overall, there's not too much difference between people, when it comes to "weird kinks", which is nice. Just a difference in "which kinks" people prefer.
The main point I want people to come from this is: Everybody has weird stuff they're into, it's okay to be into weird stuff, even if it's weird amongst the weirdos.
I'll leave the survey open for a while longer. I've saved the scripts I used to get the numbers, so I can easily rerun them later; it'll just be the manual notes that I likely won't be able to do again.
Any thoughts on how I handled this? Was this information interesting to you? Might there be anything else you guys might want to know from this?
1) THIS IS NOT INDICATIVE OF RIGHT AND WRONG! - Whether you're in the minority, majority, etc, it doesn't matter if people like what you like or dislike what you like, this is not proof that you are correct or wrong in what you enjoy. Everybody has their own preferences, and even if yours are more popular or not, that is no reason to think you are better or worse than anybody else. Despite getting data, the main things I want people to know is to RESPECT each other and yourselves.
2) This data is HEAVILY BIASED and is NOT scientifically accurate AT ALL.
- The sample size is far too small to get any significant statistical correlations
- The sample group is restricted to those who saw the survey on this site within the past couple of days and actually WANTED to take the survey. In other words, it's likely people who shared the survey with others likely already have shared interests with those others, and thus bias the survey to that regard.
- The sample group is restricted to those who likely already watch me, which means they are into some of the things I put out. And the stuff I put out can be pretty weird, compared to others!
3) There's a lot of things that there just wasn't enough data for, so if I don't specify a trend, just assume that it was so evenly distributed that there was nothing to point out, or there was so little responses that it wasn't worth pointing out.
4) Thank you to everybody who participated! I know a lot of you shared some pretty personal stuff in this survey, which I am not sharing, but I appreciate the candidness and hope you all do well! :)
So, the results... First I'm going to start with the notes I took from eyeballing the data. These are things I noticed and thought were things people might like to know. When I say "females" and "males" here, it's kinda fuzzy, mostly it's birth gender, but can dip a little into identified gender, but there's not enough data to refine it further. These are also notes, with additional notes that I'm adding now).
Result Notes
males - similar percentage of "not birth gender" as females
females - put androdgynous more, no identifying as males
males - bit on the heavier side
females - weights average out
everybody - heights average out
everybody - more towards the "unfit" side (Understandable, considering this is a community that is largly on computers).
everybody - stick more to "own beliefs" than religions
everybody - first sexual experiences were largely "maybe"
males - more spontaneously aroused than females
everybody - seek out erotica about the same rate regardless of gender, when averaged comes to about once per week to once per day
everybody - erotic reading scored highly (Totally a bias of those that watch me, since my stuff involves reading usually XD)
males - more fictional single pictures for source of erotica
females - more animated videos for source of erotica
everybody - masturbates at about the same rates regardless of gender, especially in the 1-4 per week or once per day range
orgasm success rate - about the same percentages, but only females had 0% success rates. no correlation to breast size or penis size or clit size, or almost any body feature (weight, height, fitness, etc)
orgasm success rate - those whose clits did not leave their clitoral hood seem to have a lower success rate, though there's plenty that had a high success rate with it. (No causality here, just an observation.)
females and female-gendered males - enjoy their nipples more than male-gendered males
female lubrication - "drooling" is average
female pleasure - clitoral, then nipples, then g-spot
men - largely penile, anal was as common as most of the other options
prefered partners
females - generally prefer females or are bi, very few only-males (I imagine this is largely due to the sample bias)
males - largely female and some males
female - prefer more on the slim-average side of weight
males - prefer more averaging out of weight
females - prefer more on the stronger side than males
females - breast size preference averages out pretty evenly from small to large
males - breast size preference averages out a little on the larger side
females - around 6-8" penis size, some preference on larger, but also a few that prefer smaller
everybody - desire for 50-75% kinks in common
females - 25-50% kink difference max
males - 50% kink difference max
everybody - scat, guro, snuff, vomit was pretty largely the ones mentioned as strict no-nos, and even then only 50% specified strict no-nos
males - pregnancy was more common among those that marked a necessary kink (though still only just a few) (Definitely sample bias here, I imagine)
females - lactation was more common among those that marked a necessary kink (though still only just a few) (Definitely sample bias here, I imagine)
males - more commonly marked "open minded" as a necessary extra factor, whereas females did not regard this
Calculated Results
This section I actually wrote out a script to go through the data and calculate things for me. This is the actual output from the script. I specified females that identify as females, males that identify as males, and then "other" for all other cases. The "other" group is because of the low sample size for every possibility, but they all have the fact they did not mark their birth gender as their identified gender, or had "it's complicated", so there could be correlations observed there.
This data is also just strict numbers, no analysis. Again, if your kink scored high or low, don't worry, everybody has their own interests!
Female identifying as female - 14 total
General 'Real' average = 2.76
General 'Fictional' average = 3.06
Average number of 1s for 'Real' kinks = 13.64
Average number of 5s for 'Real' kinks = 7.07
Average number of 1s for 'Fictional' kinks = 11.29
Average number of 5s for 'Fictional' kinks = 12.5
Top 5 'Real' kinks
"Being submissive (taking orders being forced to do things) during sex?", 4.29
"Roleplaying during sex?", 4.14
"Sexual toys during sex/masturbation?", 3.86
"Oral sex from somebody else?", 3.71
"Lactation?", 3.71
Bottom 5 'Real' kinks
"Wearing diapers WITH peeing/pooping?", 1.0
"Pooping during sex/masturbation?", 1.0
"Wearing diapers WITHOUT peeing/pooping?", 1.14
"Adult Baby play?", 1.43
"Peeing during sex/masturbation?", 1.43
Top 5 'Fictional' kinks
"Loving sex", 4.21
"Size play (one much larger than the other)", 4.21
"Impregnation (but not necessarily the pregnancy)", 4.14
"Anthropomorphic animals (furries etc)", 4.07
"Original characters", 3.86
Bottom 5 'Fictional' kinks
"Scat", 1.0
"Snuff (death)", 1.21
"Guro (blood and gore)", 1.36
"Diapers", 1.43
"Cocknipples", 1.79
Male identifying as male - 32 total
General 'Real' average = 2.45
General 'Fictional' average = 2.9
Average number of 1s for 'Real' kinks = 15.34
Average number of 5s for 'Real' kinks = 5.84
Average number of 1s for 'Fictional' kinks = 13.59
Average number of 5s for 'Fictional' kinks = 11.5
Top 5 'Real' kinks
"Oral sex from somebody else?", 3.53
"Roleplaying during sex?", 3.53
"Being submissive (taking orders being forced to do things) during sex?", 3.53
"Sexual activity from partner while you're busy with a non-sexual task?", 3.44
"Oral sex for somebody else?", 3.44
Bottom 5 'Real' kinks
"Pooping during sex/masturbation?", 1.09
"Blood/cutting?", 1.19
"Wearing diapers WITH peeing/pooping?", 1.25
"Wearing diapers WITHOUT peeing/pooping?", 1.38
"Torture bondage?", 1.41
Top 5 'Fictional' kinks
"Loving sex", 4.53
"Breast growth/large breasts", 3.97
"Girl on Girl", 3.94
"Transformation to animal/animal features", 3.84
"Anthropomorphic animals (furries etc)", 3.84
Bottom 5 'Fictional' kinks
"Scat", 1.28
"Guro (blood and gore)", 1.5
"Diapers", 1.53
"Snuff (death)", 1.56
"Odorous", 1.78
Other - 19 total
General 'Real' average = 2.93
General 'Fictional' average = 3.1
Average number of 1s for 'Real' kinks = 10.16
Average number of 5s for 'Real' kinks = 7.74
Average number of 1s for 'Fictional' kinks = 10.79
Average number of 5s for 'Fictional' kinks = 12.74
Top 5 'Real' kinks
"Sexual toys during sex/masturbation?", 4.11
"Oral sex for somebody else?", 3.95
"Oral sex from somebody else?", 3.74
"Crossdressing in private?", 3.74
"Breast growth via inducing lactation from excess nipple stimulation?", 3.74
Bottom 5 'Real' kinks
"Wearing diapers WITH peeing/pooping?", 1.21
"Pooping during sex/masturbation?", 1.26
"Adult Baby play?", 1.32
"Wearing diapers WITHOUT peeing/pooping?", 1.37
"Smoking?", 1.58
Top 5 'Fictional' kinks
"Anthropomorphic animals (furries etc)", 4.53
"Male becoming female", 4.32
"Transformation to animal/animal features", 4.11
"Monsters", 4.05
"Girl on Girl", 4.05
Bottom 5 'Fictional' kinks
"Scat", 1.32
"Diapers", 1.37
"Snuff (death)", 1.63
"Guro (blood and gore)", 1.84
"Odorous", 1.89
Differences between male and female kink averages (Not including 'other')
Top 5 females scored higher than males, real
"Sensory deprivation?", 1.04
"Exhibitionism?", 1.03
"Hidden vibrator when in public?", 0.94
"Labia pumping?", 0.86
"Sexual activity hidden in public?", 0.86
Top 5 males scored higher than females, real
"Inflation via fluids?", 0.53
"Inflation via air?", 0.31
"Wearing diapers WITH peeing/pooping?", 0.25
"Wearing diapers WITHOUT peeing/pooping?", 0.24
"Breast implants?", 0.18
Top 5 females scored higher than males, fictional
"Forced compliance to sex (unwanted but agreed to)", 0.87
"Monstrous/Alien", 0.83
""Mean" sex (revenge jealousy etc)", 0.8
"Female becoming male", 0.72
"Cute/Kawaii", 0.6
Top 5 males scored higher than females, fictional
"Testicle growth/large testicles", 0.77
"Penis growth/large penis", 0.61
"Transformation to animal/animal features", 0.55
"Inflation", 0.48
"Hyper penis", 0.42
Final Observations
I was one to think that females would be more likely to avoid weirder kinks than most males. But, from the data above, it looks like females actually scored kinks higher overall tham males. And, logically, those that fall under the "other" category seem to be more accepting of kinks in general.
Although, most important to point out is... the difference is really really small. It's easily accounted for just from having a small sample size. But I think overall, there's not too much difference between people, when it comes to "weird kinks", which is nice. Just a difference in "which kinks" people prefer.
The main point I want people to come from this is: Everybody has weird stuff they're into, it's okay to be into weird stuff, even if it's weird amongst the weirdos.
I'll leave the survey open for a while longer. I've saved the scripts I used to get the numbers, so I can easily rerun them later; it'll just be the manual notes that I likely won't be able to do again.
Any thoughts on how I handled this? Was this information interesting to you? Might there be anything else you guys might want to know from this?
Survey - A couple more days
Posted 8 years agoI'm going to leave the survey (link) open for a couple more days to allow for some more responses to come through before crunching some data.
So far, 44 people have taken the survey, only 12-13 of which are female, so I feel a larger sample size would be better before trying to identify any trends. But thanks to all that have filled it out so far, I can already see some interesting data!
I'll likely spend the time Saturday trying to sort it out and giving you guys feedback, so continue filling it out until then, the more data the better! =D
So far, 44 people have taken the survey, only 12-13 of which are female, so I feel a larger sample size would be better before trying to identify any trends. But thanks to all that have filled it out so far, I can already see some interesting data!
I'll likely spend the time Saturday trying to sort it out and giving you guys feedback, so continue filling it out until then, the more data the better! =D
Survey - Re-opened!
Posted 8 years agoThe survey from the following journal has been updated:
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/8237436/
The survey now has some extra stuff, allowing for better organizing of background and more male-centric questions, since it'll be good to compare. I also split out a section regarding your "preferred partner", both as to their background and their interests. Not that I'm making a dating site (there's plenty of those already), but it might be interesting to see how much kinks make a difference in your desired partner.
Thanks again for all of the feedback so far! If you took the survey before it closed (before this journal was posted), then please go ahead and re-take the updated survey. If you don't want to re-take it, that's fine, I still have the responses from before to help fill the data-pool, and thanks for your original responses! :)
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/8237436/
The survey now has some extra stuff, allowing for better organizing of background and more male-centric questions, since it'll be good to compare. I also split out a section regarding your "preferred partner", both as to their background and their interests. Not that I'm making a dating site (there's plenty of those already), but it might be interesting to see how much kinks make a difference in your desired partner.
Thanks again for all of the feedback so far! If you took the survey before it closed (before this journal was posted), then please go ahead and re-take the updated survey. If you don't want to re-take it, that's fine, I still have the responses from before to help fill the data-pool, and thanks for your original responses! :)
Survey - Kinks for Women - Please fill out?
Posted 8 years agoAfter some discussions I've had lately and some genuine curiosity building over time, I am interested in learning what kinds of things women can be into. I've noticed that it's often men that go on the "crazy kink" route, but I know of women that have as well, but not nearly as much. So I'm curious if it's a general gender difference or if there's the same number of women that are and they might just be afraid/silent about the subjects. There could also be some interesting correlations between lifestyle and kinks, so I added some initial questions to sort that out.
So, if you are female and interested, may you please take a bit of time to answer this survey? It's completely anonymous and there's absolutely no judgement on what you answer. I just ask that you answer honestly so I can get clean data. Sorry if it seems a little too personal at times, but that's why it's anonymous, I have no idea who you are when you answer. And if you don't have an answer to some things, feel free to skip a question, or estimate.
https://goo.gl/forms/uShl7GfG20nmHKxJ2
If you are male and want to take the survey, I can't stop you. I can even understand doing it out of curiosity of the survey yourselves. That's fine. I just ask, again, that you answer honestly, especially to the "which gender are you?" question. If you know somebody else that doesn't follow me or might not even partake in FA, feel free to pass it around, there's no restrictions on fandom.
I tried to cover a lot. Things that I'm interested in, things I'm not interested in, things I know others are interested in. Also tried to do it a bit sporadically so there's no overall grouping of "extreme" vs "tame" or whatever. And I likely forgot a good deal, which I can add in later.
If you have any questions or comments about it, feel free to leave the messages in the spaces provided in the form, or leave a comment here, or note me directly if you prefer something more private and less anonymous. I may also make a post later about some results of the data, if there is interest in it.
Thanks to anybody that participates! I likely won't be able to thank you directly, since it's anonymous, but this is the best I can do! :)
Reiterating:
1 = Eww, gross, turn off, 2 = No, not interested, 3 = Maybe, might try/under certain circumstances, 4 = Sure, I'd be up for it, 5 = This is my thing, do want
So, if you are female and interested, may you please take a bit of time to answer this survey? It's completely anonymous and there's absolutely no judgement on what you answer. I just ask that you answer honestly so I can get clean data. Sorry if it seems a little too personal at times, but that's why it's anonymous, I have no idea who you are when you answer. And if you don't have an answer to some things, feel free to skip a question, or estimate.
https://goo.gl/forms/uShl7GfG20nmHKxJ2
If you are male and want to take the survey, I can't stop you. I can even understand doing it out of curiosity of the survey yourselves. That's fine. I just ask, again, that you answer honestly, especially to the "which gender are you?" question. If you know somebody else that doesn't follow me or might not even partake in FA, feel free to pass it around, there's no restrictions on fandom.
I tried to cover a lot. Things that I'm interested in, things I'm not interested in, things I know others are interested in. Also tried to do it a bit sporadically so there's no overall grouping of "extreme" vs "tame" or whatever. And I likely forgot a good deal, which I can add in later.
If you have any questions or comments about it, feel free to leave the messages in the spaces provided in the form, or leave a comment here, or note me directly if you prefer something more private and less anonymous. I may also make a post later about some results of the data, if there is interest in it.
Thanks to anybody that participates! I likely won't be able to thank you directly, since it's anonymous, but this is the best I can do! :)
Reiterating:
1 = Eww, gross, turn off, 2 = No, not interested, 3 = Maybe, might try/under certain circumstances, 4 = Sure, I'd be up for it, 5 = This is my thing, do want
Nimin - Other kinds of assistance + Here's the code!
Posted 8 years agoSo, the previous journal has been met with more success than other attempts! Only a few people have really come forward to help, and most have postponed due to life and are getting back to me when they can, but I've actually got a couple of people currently in the process of writing scenes, which is great! I'll be looking forward to those who had to postpone to get back to me as well, because they showed quite a bit of promise and I'm hoping to hear from them again!
However, I've gotten quite a few offers to assist with the code. I wasn't exactly looking for coding assistance, since that part is generally easy for me, but with the way life has been going lately, I'm realizing that assistance towards that end would be helpful as well, there's no point in me just rejecting it.
I am not going to structure this as much as the writing. Trying to manage the project with writers already takes up a good chunk of my time. But, if you are interested in looking at the code, I'm going to give everybody access to view it, and if you find areas you can help, then I welcome you to message me and if I think you're on a good path, I'll set you up to make pull requests to modify the code yourself.
I'll preface this: this code is code I've written (save for a couple small bits that are still leftover from UTG) and while I welcome people taking inspiration from it or using bits for themselves, I'd ask that you not try to use the entire game engine with replacements without asking for my permission first. This is open source and accessible to everybody; I just do not accept people making a Nimin clone and trying to sell it for money. Not that I think you'd get very far if you did, but if anybody sees a clone going up and advertised as an "updated Nimin" for purchase, know that unless I made a journal here describing such, I did not make it and nor am I selling it. Then again, as you'll see, it's probably not worth trying to clone anyways XD
Also, this contains spoilers for things that aren't in the game yet, if you're a masochist that needs to know everything instead of enjoying the game that's played :P
https://github.com/XaderaDiddle/Nim.....imin%20v1/code
If you're unfamiliar with Git; it's essentially a repository for code. That's where the code lives and it tracks what changes in the code, and people can be given varying permissions to work with the code. There are a few key files missing, but that's generally all of it. I just added it to Git a few months ago in order to help with people assisting. You'll also notice it doesn't get updated frequently, and the updates are small; I don't have too much time or motivation to do everything at once. But I am working on making it more readable for others and the base engine to make more sense. It's still cluttered in some areas because... all those files you see were originally a part of a single giant file XD And some bits were just me testing things out or potentially setting up for things that never got far.
So yeah, feel free to peruse as you'd like. If you want to make actual suggestions on the code (actual ways to change the code, rather than generic tips like "Use moar objects"), then feel free to note me and we could potentially set you up with modifying the code :)
And before people comment to this regard (because there's been a few), yes, this is a non-profitable venture. This is for fun and self-interest in making a game that people have enjoyed. If Nimin never got updated again because there was no assistance, I'm not going to agonize over it; I'm not asking for assistance out of a feeling of privilege or some nonsense, but rather to continue for the enjoyment of myself and others because it's fun to create and to share.
Otherwise, have fun checking it out, if you're the type that enjoys looking through code or are interested in the Nimin behind-the-scenes :)
However, I've gotten quite a few offers to assist with the code. I wasn't exactly looking for coding assistance, since that part is generally easy for me, but with the way life has been going lately, I'm realizing that assistance towards that end would be helpful as well, there's no point in me just rejecting it.
I am not going to structure this as much as the writing. Trying to manage the project with writers already takes up a good chunk of my time. But, if you are interested in looking at the code, I'm going to give everybody access to view it, and if you find areas you can help, then I welcome you to message me and if I think you're on a good path, I'll set you up to make pull requests to modify the code yourself.
I'll preface this: this code is code I've written (save for a couple small bits that are still leftover from UTG) and while I welcome people taking inspiration from it or using bits for themselves, I'd ask that you not try to use the entire game engine with replacements without asking for my permission first. This is open source and accessible to everybody; I just do not accept people making a Nimin clone and trying to sell it for money. Not that I think you'd get very far if you did, but if anybody sees a clone going up and advertised as an "updated Nimin" for purchase, know that unless I made a journal here describing such, I did not make it and nor am I selling it. Then again, as you'll see, it's probably not worth trying to clone anyways XD
Also, this contains spoilers for things that aren't in the game yet, if you're a masochist that needs to know everything instead of enjoying the game that's played :P
https://github.com/XaderaDiddle/Nim.....imin%20v1/code
If you're unfamiliar with Git; it's essentially a repository for code. That's where the code lives and it tracks what changes in the code, and people can be given varying permissions to work with the code. There are a few key files missing, but that's generally all of it. I just added it to Git a few months ago in order to help with people assisting. You'll also notice it doesn't get updated frequently, and the updates are small; I don't have too much time or motivation to do everything at once. But I am working on making it more readable for others and the base engine to make more sense. It's still cluttered in some areas because... all those files you see were originally a part of a single giant file XD And some bits were just me testing things out or potentially setting up for things that never got far.
So yeah, feel free to peruse as you'd like. If you want to make actual suggestions on the code (actual ways to change the code, rather than generic tips like "Use moar objects"), then feel free to note me and we could potentially set you up with modifying the code :)
And before people comment to this regard (because there's been a few), yes, this is a non-profitable venture. This is for fun and self-interest in making a game that people have enjoyed. If Nimin never got updated again because there was no assistance, I'm not going to agonize over it; I'm not asking for assistance out of a feeling of privilege or some nonsense, but rather to continue for the enjoyment of myself and others because it's fun to create and to share.
Otherwise, have fun checking it out, if you're the type that enjoys looking through code or are interested in the Nimin behind-the-scenes :)
Nimin - Looking for assistance - Attempt #3
Posted 9 years agoThis might be a bit long, but if you can read through and understand it all, then you're probably better-suited to help :) (I can appreciate people jumping to help otherwise, it's just not actually helpful when you do XD)
Last year I posted a more serious attempt to start getting a Nimin team (link). About 30% of the people who offered assistance met the compatibility requirements that I thought would have been good for Nimin. Unfortunately, when I tried to follow up with them for some basic scenes or go aheads on full writings, nobody wanted to continue. People have busy lives and couldn't keep going or didn't realize the depth it takes to make a game. I understand; it's hard for me to keep pushing for the game now that I actually have a life as well, hence why I'm throwing up these journals to begin with.
I'm thinking that maybe my expectations were too high, or maybe I wasn't clear enough with how much effort it takes to write up even a basic scene, or maybe it was just a bad time to ask (2016 did suck for many, after all). Heck, even trying to do all this effort to try to get more people sucks out my own interest from the game, so I can relate. But I also understand that if I still want Nimin to stay alive, I need to keep trying.
So, here's my third attempt.
This time, I'm being a little more direct.
What is required
Nimin is a code-based game, not a fill-in-the-blanks simplified type, so some knowledge of coding will be helpful, even if it's just basic logic. Writing a scene for the game doesn't require much coding depth, just enough to understand what a variable is, what kind of math and logic you can use to manipulate different outcomes, and that it's not straight-writing. I can provide some basic training if this is a weakpoint for you, and I will provide information on how Nimin's code works so you can follow along and potentially save yourself some effort.
Nimin is a game, not a basic choose-your-own-story. While the player may only see a few paragraphs of text, the text is not written like that. The text has multiple variations based on what the player does; sentences or entire paragraphs might be swapped out, added, or ignored based on the state of the game, allowing for a more diverse and interesting experience. You can't just write a story and shove it into the game; there's no interactivity or player-unique experience there, which makes it a little more boring and doesn't take advantage of the medium. So keep this in mind; Nimin is like an ice-berg, while you may only see a portion of text on the surface, there is easily much more underneath.
Nimin is a story-based game. You can't just throw in a bunch of small paragraphs here and there and call it a day. You can't just write your own fap-material and expect others to relate. Writing is a form of art, and just like all art, the goal is to communicate an idea in a way that others can understand and relate with what you're trying to express. If you write something that you think is hot and sexy, to somebody else it might come off as dumb and nonsensical if it's not written well enough. It also takes some effort and thought to write out an entire idea, so if you can't see yourself writing a 10+ page story to begin with, you probably won't have the stamina or foresight to write even a smaller event. Trying to write a 10+ page erotica story that you can re-read and feel aroused by, or send to a friend and they genuinely regard it as hot, will be a good indicator as to whether you can do this.
Nimin is a porn-oriented story-based game. While there is room for cool basic-fantasy things, at the end of the day the goal is to arouse people and (at least in Nimin's case) make people feel good about being aroused. And while I'm sure many people can get aroused by just a few sentences of an idea - letting their libido spring up at the thought of a new concept - erotica leaves more of a positive imprint if the idea is more fleshed out and fully satisfying. The whole reason I started writing was because I was frustrated by the fact that so many kinky ideas hadn't been fully realized; it's like being teased during sex and never being allowed to complete XD
These requirements aren't specifically special to Nimin, I feel they are true of all text-based erotica games. And failing these requirements are things that I've seen as short-comings in other text-based erotica games (even with Nimin itself in various areas). So these are a good heads up to what it takes to work on a game like this.
With that all laid out, I'm going to diverge from the previous attempts in this way: I'm going to state specific areas of the games that I need help with. If you see something you think you're interested in doing, then feel free to chime in.
Masturbation scenes
I know a lot of the fun with these games is interacting with the npcs and the world; there's always a need for more of that. Yet, in a game with all these transformations and body-modifying, it really helps to pull focus away from the rest of the world and regard how unique your own character is, beyond the basic appearance screen. Masturbation scenes accomplish that. Masturbating means really exploring your own body and allows you to put into perspective just how "different" it can be.
So, I need more masturbation scenes that focus on different ways of masturbating. No, I do not mean "masturbating on a bed vs masturbating on the floor vs masturbating with a dildo vs masturbating with fingers". I mean: Your cock is too big, so how do you cope with masturbating with it? What if you had a cock and boobs, maybe you could titfuck yourself? What about being so pregnant that you can't reach your own pussy, maybe you have to find a pole to grind your backside up against like a mare in heat? Or maybe something as "simple" as focusing on being covered in fur with a high sensitivity score; do you tickle yourself to an explosive orgasm by accident?
There's already different options for masturbating specific attributes; the scenes can be split up based on whatever attribute is being focused on, and further detailed based on another specific attribute. As you can see, this leads to a wiiiide variety of different masturbations scenes and I would love to do sooooo many, but there's just so many to cover that I myself can't do them alone, especially while trying to fill out other parts of the game. Any assistance here just means more potential for people being surprised when they go to masturbate and find something particularly unique for themselves.
Dream Sequences
This is something I've barely been able to touch on in Nimin, but it's something I really want to do more with. I love dreams. I especially love waking up from a kinky dream, and I'm sure many can agree. And while Nimin already allows for a lot of crazy stuff, dreams allow for even crazier things that don't require tracking even more character attributes or breaking the already meager "physics" of the game further. And dreams are especially useful for portraying the inner-thought processes of dealing with such a sexualized world.
Putting ferals into the game is really difficult, but if a character has a high blood-level for a race and a low mentality, they could have a dream where they are a feral version of that race. The player may have had an exceptionally large amount of breast growth within the past 48 hours, so maybe they have a dream about their breasts becoming stupendously huge and filling up an entire town. Maybe the player has become really close with an NPC to the point they start fantasizing absurd sexual acts in their dreams.
There's many opportunities to reflect a lot of what Nimin can't really offer by putting it in dream sequences. It will also allow me to slip in some story-based dreams once there's enough other dreams going on.
Large events
This is one of the most difficult things to do and something that I struggle with, but it's something that everybody loves about these games. The Lilas, the Malons, the Silandriases, the numerous waifus in CoC. It's great to really go in depth with an NPC, to have diverging story paths based on the choices the player makes, having long-term consequences to how an NPC acts when you change them in different ways. It's the opportunity to really flesh out a specific idea with a non-player character to give the players a chance to see how their choices impact the world around them. It's what makes this game feel more like an actual "game" than a dress-up doll simulator.
So, I need help with more of these. I need larger events that have a beginning and an end, with various paths in between. I also need people to actually complete them; I've been burned before where only a portion of an event gets written and now I need to throw the whole thing away. There's always room to tack on more to an established event, but having it start out as a complete thing on its own is necessary.
If there's anybody willing to work on something like this, I'm willing to put a lot more cooperation into it. Want a new race specifically so you can go into a certain detail? As long as the race doesn't completely overlap with an existing one (there really is no point in trying to differentiate "cougar" and "panther" when there's an all-encompassing feline race, but a dragon might potentially be possible as long as there's enough in-game differences from the all-encompassing lizard race), I can help put it together with whatever else is necessary for transforming or whatever. Want a new location for the race and event? Sure, if you've got enough of an idea to flesh out an entire town, I'm not opposed to putting one in! Hell, if you can think up an entire side-story and you're able to actually write it all out and you need some additional character features added or a new engine to do a particular thing, I will put in the effort to accommodate.
I would, of course, want a summary of what you're trying to do first before you go through with it all, if you were interested. There are some ideas that don't match the theme of Nimin as well, and there are other ideas that could be tweaked to be better suited for Nimin as well. It might not look like it yet, but I did/do have a plan for Nimin's story! XD
Other things?
The three options above are what I really need help with. Items are super-easy to put in, so I don't exactly need help making more; but if a new item will help with putting in a masturbation/dream/large scene, then sure. Same things with new races, new attributes, new classes, etc.
The goal here is to lift some of the work from my shoulders because I can't handle it all on my own. But if there's a significant amount of work being done to add a lot of value to the game, then I'm willing to change my own focus for a time to put in some work on the supporting transformations/items/races/classes/birthings/etc to make that happen.
If there's another thing that I didn't put above that you think you could help flesh out more of, and you can actually write it, then I'm all ears! If you think you can write out a new feature or replace a feature of the game (making the nursery more interesting would be awesome!), I'm listening. I know the game hasn't been updated in nearly 3 years now, so there's likely things I have forgotten as well.
What I DO NOT need
I'm sorry I have to be blunt about this, but it is something that comes up every time. While I am indeed looking for help, I am not looking to have random ideas dumped on me when you have no interest/idea on how to do them yourself. I have ideas out the wazoo for Nimin, all of which would be awesome to implement, but they don't help without actually being done. With every project, you have to understand your limitations, and while I may not cater to fetish X myself, that is because I do not have the ability to do everything. If I could, I would, but then I wouldn't be posting journals like this if that were the case.
I also do not need people that are well-intentioned but poorly-executed. Thank you for wanting to help, I appreciate that other people are interested and there is support. However, talking through an idea, fleshing things out, fixing and tweaking, etc, all takes a good deal of effort from my end (especially as I'm working with multiple people), and too often all of that work ends up going nowhere and makes me feel defeated. Reading through dozens of stories, writing up cheat-sheets for coding and trying to explain how the game works, going back and forth on an idea, doing all of that to end up with nothing... it hurts. It makes me less interested in continuing. I put in a good deal of effort trying to do the previous assistance and ending up with nobody put me off from Nimin for several months. And that wasn't the first time. I'm not blaming others for Nimin not being updated, it happens. But I'm trying to reduce my workload, not increase it with even less productivity. If I can reduce the number of cases of that happening by placing this warning here, then there might be a better chance of Nimin actually going somewhere again, which I think is what we'd all like.
What do now?
If you've read through all the above and you can understand it and you see somewhere you think you can help with, let me know! Either here or in a note, whichever the case may be. I'm not going to filter people out with tests and stuff this time, I'm going to be a bit more blunt about it. Ask for whatever information you would like to have, I'll supply it the best I can, and you can go ahead and write something up to be put in the game. If it doesn't meet certain requirements to the point that I can't tweak it slightly and put it into the game, then I'll let you know. You can adjust however you need. Just PLEASE, do not feel bad if I don't put your stuff in the game because I don't feel it meets the requirements. I'll let you know why with honesty; I'm not the type to hurt your feelings on purpose and I hope the honesty will help you grow in your own skills. I just need to ensure the overall "theme" of the game remains intact and also ensuring that I don't end up with a lot more extra work trying to proofread everybody's stuff just to cover the basics of spelling and grammar and basic game writing.
If you didn't read through the above and it's evident when you blindly offer help, I'll point out the discrepancy and decline pretty immediately, and you'll be free to delete your comment if you like; no judgement. I know that seems kind of rude, but it takes a lot of effort to communicate with so many people as well. I'm not exactly an extrovert, so even responding the comments to this journal will likely socially exhaust me for the rest of the day XD
Last year I posted a more serious attempt to start getting a Nimin team (link). About 30% of the people who offered assistance met the compatibility requirements that I thought would have been good for Nimin. Unfortunately, when I tried to follow up with them for some basic scenes or go aheads on full writings, nobody wanted to continue. People have busy lives and couldn't keep going or didn't realize the depth it takes to make a game. I understand; it's hard for me to keep pushing for the game now that I actually have a life as well, hence why I'm throwing up these journals to begin with.
I'm thinking that maybe my expectations were too high, or maybe I wasn't clear enough with how much effort it takes to write up even a basic scene, or maybe it was just a bad time to ask (2016 did suck for many, after all). Heck, even trying to do all this effort to try to get more people sucks out my own interest from the game, so I can relate. But I also understand that if I still want Nimin to stay alive, I need to keep trying.
So, here's my third attempt.
This time, I'm being a little more direct.
What is required
Nimin is a code-based game, not a fill-in-the-blanks simplified type, so some knowledge of coding will be helpful, even if it's just basic logic. Writing a scene for the game doesn't require much coding depth, just enough to understand what a variable is, what kind of math and logic you can use to manipulate different outcomes, and that it's not straight-writing. I can provide some basic training if this is a weakpoint for you, and I will provide information on how Nimin's code works so you can follow along and potentially save yourself some effort.
Nimin is a game, not a basic choose-your-own-story. While the player may only see a few paragraphs of text, the text is not written like that. The text has multiple variations based on what the player does; sentences or entire paragraphs might be swapped out, added, or ignored based on the state of the game, allowing for a more diverse and interesting experience. You can't just write a story and shove it into the game; there's no interactivity or player-unique experience there, which makes it a little more boring and doesn't take advantage of the medium. So keep this in mind; Nimin is like an ice-berg, while you may only see a portion of text on the surface, there is easily much more underneath.
Nimin is a story-based game. You can't just throw in a bunch of small paragraphs here and there and call it a day. You can't just write your own fap-material and expect others to relate. Writing is a form of art, and just like all art, the goal is to communicate an idea in a way that others can understand and relate with what you're trying to express. If you write something that you think is hot and sexy, to somebody else it might come off as dumb and nonsensical if it's not written well enough. It also takes some effort and thought to write out an entire idea, so if you can't see yourself writing a 10+ page story to begin with, you probably won't have the stamina or foresight to write even a smaller event. Trying to write a 10+ page erotica story that you can re-read and feel aroused by, or send to a friend and they genuinely regard it as hot, will be a good indicator as to whether you can do this.
Nimin is a porn-oriented story-based game. While there is room for cool basic-fantasy things, at the end of the day the goal is to arouse people and (at least in Nimin's case) make people feel good about being aroused. And while I'm sure many people can get aroused by just a few sentences of an idea - letting their libido spring up at the thought of a new concept - erotica leaves more of a positive imprint if the idea is more fleshed out and fully satisfying. The whole reason I started writing was because I was frustrated by the fact that so many kinky ideas hadn't been fully realized; it's like being teased during sex and never being allowed to complete XD
These requirements aren't specifically special to Nimin, I feel they are true of all text-based erotica games. And failing these requirements are things that I've seen as short-comings in other text-based erotica games (even with Nimin itself in various areas). So these are a good heads up to what it takes to work on a game like this.
With that all laid out, I'm going to diverge from the previous attempts in this way: I'm going to state specific areas of the games that I need help with. If you see something you think you're interested in doing, then feel free to chime in.
Masturbation scenes
I know a lot of the fun with these games is interacting with the npcs and the world; there's always a need for more of that. Yet, in a game with all these transformations and body-modifying, it really helps to pull focus away from the rest of the world and regard how unique your own character is, beyond the basic appearance screen. Masturbation scenes accomplish that. Masturbating means really exploring your own body and allows you to put into perspective just how "different" it can be.
So, I need more masturbation scenes that focus on different ways of masturbating. No, I do not mean "masturbating on a bed vs masturbating on the floor vs masturbating with a dildo vs masturbating with fingers". I mean: Your cock is too big, so how do you cope with masturbating with it? What if you had a cock and boobs, maybe you could titfuck yourself? What about being so pregnant that you can't reach your own pussy, maybe you have to find a pole to grind your backside up against like a mare in heat? Or maybe something as "simple" as focusing on being covered in fur with a high sensitivity score; do you tickle yourself to an explosive orgasm by accident?
There's already different options for masturbating specific attributes; the scenes can be split up based on whatever attribute is being focused on, and further detailed based on another specific attribute. As you can see, this leads to a wiiiide variety of different masturbations scenes and I would love to do sooooo many, but there's just so many to cover that I myself can't do them alone, especially while trying to fill out other parts of the game. Any assistance here just means more potential for people being surprised when they go to masturbate and find something particularly unique for themselves.
Dream Sequences
This is something I've barely been able to touch on in Nimin, but it's something I really want to do more with. I love dreams. I especially love waking up from a kinky dream, and I'm sure many can agree. And while Nimin already allows for a lot of crazy stuff, dreams allow for even crazier things that don't require tracking even more character attributes or breaking the already meager "physics" of the game further. And dreams are especially useful for portraying the inner-thought processes of dealing with such a sexualized world.
Putting ferals into the game is really difficult, but if a character has a high blood-level for a race and a low mentality, they could have a dream where they are a feral version of that race. The player may have had an exceptionally large amount of breast growth within the past 48 hours, so maybe they have a dream about their breasts becoming stupendously huge and filling up an entire town. Maybe the player has become really close with an NPC to the point they start fantasizing absurd sexual acts in their dreams.
There's many opportunities to reflect a lot of what Nimin can't really offer by putting it in dream sequences. It will also allow me to slip in some story-based dreams once there's enough other dreams going on.
Large events
This is one of the most difficult things to do and something that I struggle with, but it's something that everybody loves about these games. The Lilas, the Malons, the Silandriases, the numerous waifus in CoC. It's great to really go in depth with an NPC, to have diverging story paths based on the choices the player makes, having long-term consequences to how an NPC acts when you change them in different ways. It's the opportunity to really flesh out a specific idea with a non-player character to give the players a chance to see how their choices impact the world around them. It's what makes this game feel more like an actual "game" than a dress-up doll simulator.
So, I need help with more of these. I need larger events that have a beginning and an end, with various paths in between. I also need people to actually complete them; I've been burned before where only a portion of an event gets written and now I need to throw the whole thing away. There's always room to tack on more to an established event, but having it start out as a complete thing on its own is necessary.
If there's anybody willing to work on something like this, I'm willing to put a lot more cooperation into it. Want a new race specifically so you can go into a certain detail? As long as the race doesn't completely overlap with an existing one (there really is no point in trying to differentiate "cougar" and "panther" when there's an all-encompassing feline race, but a dragon might potentially be possible as long as there's enough in-game differences from the all-encompassing lizard race), I can help put it together with whatever else is necessary for transforming or whatever. Want a new location for the race and event? Sure, if you've got enough of an idea to flesh out an entire town, I'm not opposed to putting one in! Hell, if you can think up an entire side-story and you're able to actually write it all out and you need some additional character features added or a new engine to do a particular thing, I will put in the effort to accommodate.
I would, of course, want a summary of what you're trying to do first before you go through with it all, if you were interested. There are some ideas that don't match the theme of Nimin as well, and there are other ideas that could be tweaked to be better suited for Nimin as well. It might not look like it yet, but I did/do have a plan for Nimin's story! XD
Other things?
The three options above are what I really need help with. Items are super-easy to put in, so I don't exactly need help making more; but if a new item will help with putting in a masturbation/dream/large scene, then sure. Same things with new races, new attributes, new classes, etc.
The goal here is to lift some of the work from my shoulders because I can't handle it all on my own. But if there's a significant amount of work being done to add a lot of value to the game, then I'm willing to change my own focus for a time to put in some work on the supporting transformations/items/races/classes/birthings/etc to make that happen.
If there's another thing that I didn't put above that you think you could help flesh out more of, and you can actually write it, then I'm all ears! If you think you can write out a new feature or replace a feature of the game (making the nursery more interesting would be awesome!), I'm listening. I know the game hasn't been updated in nearly 3 years now, so there's likely things I have forgotten as well.
What I DO NOT need
I'm sorry I have to be blunt about this, but it is something that comes up every time. While I am indeed looking for help, I am not looking to have random ideas dumped on me when you have no interest/idea on how to do them yourself. I have ideas out the wazoo for Nimin, all of which would be awesome to implement, but they don't help without actually being done. With every project, you have to understand your limitations, and while I may not cater to fetish X myself, that is because I do not have the ability to do everything. If I could, I would, but then I wouldn't be posting journals like this if that were the case.
I also do not need people that are well-intentioned but poorly-executed. Thank you for wanting to help, I appreciate that other people are interested and there is support. However, talking through an idea, fleshing things out, fixing and tweaking, etc, all takes a good deal of effort from my end (especially as I'm working with multiple people), and too often all of that work ends up going nowhere and makes me feel defeated. Reading through dozens of stories, writing up cheat-sheets for coding and trying to explain how the game works, going back and forth on an idea, doing all of that to end up with nothing... it hurts. It makes me less interested in continuing. I put in a good deal of effort trying to do the previous assistance and ending up with nobody put me off from Nimin for several months. And that wasn't the first time. I'm not blaming others for Nimin not being updated, it happens. But I'm trying to reduce my workload, not increase it with even less productivity. If I can reduce the number of cases of that happening by placing this warning here, then there might be a better chance of Nimin actually going somewhere again, which I think is what we'd all like.
What do now?
If you've read through all the above and you can understand it and you see somewhere you think you can help with, let me know! Either here or in a note, whichever the case may be. I'm not going to filter people out with tests and stuff this time, I'm going to be a bit more blunt about it. Ask for whatever information you would like to have, I'll supply it the best I can, and you can go ahead and write something up to be put in the game. If it doesn't meet certain requirements to the point that I can't tweak it slightly and put it into the game, then I'll let you know. You can adjust however you need. Just PLEASE, do not feel bad if I don't put your stuff in the game because I don't feel it meets the requirements. I'll let you know why with honesty; I'm not the type to hurt your feelings on purpose and I hope the honesty will help you grow in your own skills. I just need to ensure the overall "theme" of the game remains intact and also ensuring that I don't end up with a lot more extra work trying to proofread everybody's stuff just to cover the basics of spelling and grammar and basic game writing.
If you didn't read through the above and it's evident when you blindly offer help, I'll point out the discrepancy and decline pretty immediately, and you'll be free to delete your comment if you like; no judgement. I know that seems kind of rude, but it takes a lot of effort to communicate with so many people as well. I'm not exactly an extrovert, so even responding the comments to this journal will likely socially exhaust me for the rest of the day XD
MFF 2016
Posted 9 years agoI'll be there!
Again, I'll be sporting this badge: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/15157539/
Might look to get a new badge, but I'm sure I'll keep that one on as well.
Be warned, I am a duder of the 6' skinny variety if you aren't already familiar with me.
Might head there tomorrow, but my milk went sour today so I'm going to have to pick some up before I go :|
Again, I'll be sporting this badge: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/15157539/
Might look to get a new badge, but I'm sure I'll keep that one on as well.
Be warned, I am a duder of the 6' skinny variety if you aren't already familiar with me.
Might head there tomorrow, but my milk went sour today so I'm going to have to pick some up before I go :|
Updates on things
Posted 9 years agoHaven't done much here in a while, besides posting the recent Kimi story, so I thought I'd provide updates on some things for those interested.
General life
Been at my current job for 3.5 years now and doing well. After basically losing 5 years of my life to unemployment and NC, I've finally gotten comfortable having disposable income. Been playing more MTG and buying art commissions from people, something I wouldn't have done a couple years ago.
If you're interested in seeing any of the commissions, I either post them myself if I've done something with them, or I fave them:
http://www.furaffinity.net/favorites/xadera/
There's also some stuff I've posted to my InkBunny account and not here, due to some issues (and same deal with the faves).
https://inkbunny.net/Xadera
So yeah, that's cool.
Nimin
I've done a smaaalllll bit with Nimin. Actually got a bit of Jamie done, though still nowhere near ready for a release. I haven't had the time nor focus for Nimin lately. I have been really pushing to get myself out there to find that special someone, which means I don't spend much free time for creativity. And the looking for assistance has fallen through for the mostpart. There have been like 6+ people that I thought would be good to help write stuff, but they've all had things come up or lost interest. So... yeah. The thought has crossed my mind of just letting Nimin die and moving on with my life. At this point, the most I can consider is putting out one last small release so the new GUI can be out there, or maybe actually paying people to write for Nimin to incentivize it and setting up a Patreon to fund it (but still with the quality control).
Maybe if I find a girlfriend, then I might be more inclined to allow myself to spend more time on the game. I just really need to focus on the former though.
Girlfriend
I want somebody in my life. Plain and simple. For some people it's super easy; "Yeah, we accidentally bumped into each other and hit it off". I don't know how they do it and they must be super lucky to have found each other. I, however, can't depend on luck. My family lacks luck, to the point where we share how crazily stupid the universe can be for us on a rather consistent basis as humorous stories. So, I need to put in effort to find somebody like that.
I've joined dating sites, both pay and free, and messaged plenty of girls that seemed like we'd have quite a lot in common and I'd be their type too. But never get a response. Except for the one girl we started getting into a good connection with while I was dealing with my grandparents' funeral and my friend's grave. But she turned out to be a catfishing account that got banned by OkCupid, so that didn't feel too good.
I've gone to at least 5 conventions in the past year, I've gone to meetups, I've gone to board-game nights; I've basically spent 3 weekends out of every 4 doing something to get the chance of a connection. Even my days off are spent going to more places. And don't get me wrong, I've met a few awesome girls. But they're either already in a relationship, or they're focusing more on their own life, or I'm unlucky/dumb and don't exchange numbers in time before we never see each other again. Weeee.
Not giving up on that though. At least I've seen it's possible, even if it's been rather improbable. I try to laugh it off, but it can get a bit disheartening of course. None of my friends have potential girls they can hook me up with, and nobody has approached me themselves. Even got nothing with the related journal, though that's not surprising. Approaching someone you don't know is hard, and I've kinda shown I enjoy some especially weird things here which could turn many people off. Yet at the same time, I feel like I'm more likely to find a girl that meshes well if she's into at least a couple of the things I've done here, than I would through other avenues. I think I'd like the shy girl that doesn't use the dating sites or meetups or whatever, but then how do we ever possibly meet? Such a catch-22.
So yeah, I'll keep pushing forward until I find somebody. I have the stable income and savings to basically support a family at this point, so looking to start one seems like a good idea. And despite my lack of intimate relationship experience, I think I've done rather well with all my other relationships so far. Being a 30 year old virgin is a bit embarrassing too, but come on, I've probably got more sexual knowledge than people who've been having sex for 30 years XD I'm really looking forward to making a girl orgasm for a few hours straight, I just need to find the person I want to do that for.
Midwest Furfest
I will be there again this year. This will be my third year of the con and I'm more comfortable with it. Looking forward to seeing some people again. Aaand try to network some more for a better girlfriending chance. Fortunately, I'm not the type of crazy that goes around stalking girls, so if my rant above frightens you over unwanted flirting or chasing, don't worry. I'm respectful and a pretty approachable guy; I just lament my lack of luck, lol. But, if you're reading this and you'll be there too and might wanna meet up to say hi, message me and I'm sure we can. Sadly, though, I don't think many single girls in my range show up to the con, but I can't shut out the possibility either.
Should be fun otherwise. I'll probably be getting another bag of dicks to pass out.
Well, that's all for my spiel today. Helps me sort out some of my own thoughts too, so it's almost therapeutic. Now to sleep so I can go to yet another meetup tomorrow after spending most of today out as well.
General life
Been at my current job for 3.5 years now and doing well. After basically losing 5 years of my life to unemployment and NC, I've finally gotten comfortable having disposable income. Been playing more MTG and buying art commissions from people, something I wouldn't have done a couple years ago.
If you're interested in seeing any of the commissions, I either post them myself if I've done something with them, or I fave them:
http://www.furaffinity.net/favorites/xadera/
There's also some stuff I've posted to my InkBunny account and not here, due to some issues (and same deal with the faves).
https://inkbunny.net/Xadera
So yeah, that's cool.
Nimin
I've done a smaaalllll bit with Nimin. Actually got a bit of Jamie done, though still nowhere near ready for a release. I haven't had the time nor focus for Nimin lately. I have been really pushing to get myself out there to find that special someone, which means I don't spend much free time for creativity. And the looking for assistance has fallen through for the mostpart. There have been like 6+ people that I thought would be good to help write stuff, but they've all had things come up or lost interest. So... yeah. The thought has crossed my mind of just letting Nimin die and moving on with my life. At this point, the most I can consider is putting out one last small release so the new GUI can be out there, or maybe actually paying people to write for Nimin to incentivize it and setting up a Patreon to fund it (but still with the quality control).
Maybe if I find a girlfriend, then I might be more inclined to allow myself to spend more time on the game. I just really need to focus on the former though.
Girlfriend
I want somebody in my life. Plain and simple. For some people it's super easy; "Yeah, we accidentally bumped into each other and hit it off". I don't know how they do it and they must be super lucky to have found each other. I, however, can't depend on luck. My family lacks luck, to the point where we share how crazily stupid the universe can be for us on a rather consistent basis as humorous stories. So, I need to put in effort to find somebody like that.
I've joined dating sites, both pay and free, and messaged plenty of girls that seemed like we'd have quite a lot in common and I'd be their type too. But never get a response. Except for the one girl we started getting into a good connection with while I was dealing with my grandparents' funeral and my friend's grave. But she turned out to be a catfishing account that got banned by OkCupid, so that didn't feel too good.
I've gone to at least 5 conventions in the past year, I've gone to meetups, I've gone to board-game nights; I've basically spent 3 weekends out of every 4 doing something to get the chance of a connection. Even my days off are spent going to more places. And don't get me wrong, I've met a few awesome girls. But they're either already in a relationship, or they're focusing more on their own life, or I'm unlucky/dumb and don't exchange numbers in time before we never see each other again. Weeee.
Not giving up on that though. At least I've seen it's possible, even if it's been rather improbable. I try to laugh it off, but it can get a bit disheartening of course. None of my friends have potential girls they can hook me up with, and nobody has approached me themselves. Even got nothing with the related journal, though that's not surprising. Approaching someone you don't know is hard, and I've kinda shown I enjoy some especially weird things here which could turn many people off. Yet at the same time, I feel like I'm more likely to find a girl that meshes well if she's into at least a couple of the things I've done here, than I would through other avenues. I think I'd like the shy girl that doesn't use the dating sites or meetups or whatever, but then how do we ever possibly meet? Such a catch-22.
So yeah, I'll keep pushing forward until I find somebody. I have the stable income and savings to basically support a family at this point, so looking to start one seems like a good idea. And despite my lack of intimate relationship experience, I think I've done rather well with all my other relationships so far. Being a 30 year old virgin is a bit embarrassing too, but come on, I've probably got more sexual knowledge than people who've been having sex for 30 years XD I'm really looking forward to making a girl orgasm for a few hours straight, I just need to find the person I want to do that for.
Midwest Furfest
I will be there again this year. This will be my third year of the con and I'm more comfortable with it. Looking forward to seeing some people again. Aaand try to network some more for a better girlfriending chance. Fortunately, I'm not the type of crazy that goes around stalking girls, so if my rant above frightens you over unwanted flirting or chasing, don't worry. I'm respectful and a pretty approachable guy; I just lament my lack of luck, lol. But, if you're reading this and you'll be there too and might wanna meet up to say hi, message me and I'm sure we can. Sadly, though, I don't think many single girls in my range show up to the con, but I can't shut out the possibility either.
Should be fun otherwise. I'll probably be getting another bag of dicks to pass out.
Well, that's all for my spiel today. Helps me sort out some of my own thoughts too, so it's almost therapeutic. Now to sleep so I can go to yet another meetup tomorrow after spending most of today out as well.
Feedback Follow-up + Nimin Boardgame?
Posted 9 years agoThanks very much to everybody who provided their thoughts on the previous journal. The thoughts provided were very helpful from both perspectives. I'm still unsure what I will be doing in the end, since I haven't actually gotten to that point yet, but now I have a much better idea of why I would be doing/not doing it.
For instance, I had mostly forgotten -why- I made your race selectable from the get-go. I didn't want to make humans "special", because that was too common and cliche'd. But, if I do want to keep the race selectable, I will have to consider a better way of telling the story from the multiple starting points, which would be a unique challenge as a writer in its own right. Or, if I did go with the human start, I'd want to come up with a more interesting reason than just "that's what the player already is, so it's easier".
So, again, thank you all for the input, it was much appreciated!
On another note, I remembered I have a project that I started 3 years ago and never had the time to fully develop. A Nimin boardgame.
I was using Vassal to play boardgames a lot with friends at the time, and I thought it would be fun to create my own Vassal module for Nimin. Vassal is a program to emulate boardgames online and can be coded to automatically set up pieces and do stuff, so I was going to give it a shot. But I never got around to doing the coding, especially as my play group lost interest in Vassal for other things.
However, I did write up most of the rules and :usericonchichi: arted up some of the key assets very nicely. There's still a need to write up the Event, Item, and NPC cards, along with some of the art for those cards, and actually draw the game board, but the core of the game is already there.
The game is essentially a pawn-based move-around-the-board type of game, where you roll for movement and go in whichever direction you want. You start as human, with variable penis, boob, and vagina sizes, the ability to grow a belly with pregnancy, and alternate races that you can transform into if you hit the right events/items. When you move to certain spaces, you can draw event cards that alter the game, or you can interact with stationary npcs, or go into a town to buy items from the store, or masturbate/interact with other players. There's a bit of Munchkin influence, as well as some other games. It's basically a sexual rpg and the goal is to be the first to get to the target SexP mark, which is set based on how long of a game you want to play. And like Munchkin, the game is very modular, to make each game unique, and allows for subsequent expansions quite easily if desired.
The reason I'm bringing this all up now is... Does anybody want to work on it with/for me?
I am not going to complete this on my own anytime soon, but if somebody wanted to do the coding in Vassal or actually create a physical version of the boardgame, I'd be glad to team up to finish it if people are actually interested.
I am not looking for idea people to help create the concept of the game, I've already got it largely fleshed out. I'm looking for people that want to actually bring the game itself into existence. This is probably easier than my attempts to find writers for the original game and won't actually take up much of my time either, if anybody did volunteer. Heck, if people just wanted something they could print out, cut apart, and play, I'd be up for filling that in too.
Just thought I'd check since this thing is otherwise rotting away on my drives :)
For instance, I had mostly forgotten -why- I made your race selectable from the get-go. I didn't want to make humans "special", because that was too common and cliche'd. But, if I do want to keep the race selectable, I will have to consider a better way of telling the story from the multiple starting points, which would be a unique challenge as a writer in its own right. Or, if I did go with the human start, I'd want to come up with a more interesting reason than just "that's what the player already is, so it's easier".
So, again, thank you all for the input, it was much appreciated!
On another note, I remembered I have a project that I started 3 years ago and never had the time to fully develop. A Nimin boardgame.
I was using Vassal to play boardgames a lot with friends at the time, and I thought it would be fun to create my own Vassal module for Nimin. Vassal is a program to emulate boardgames online and can be coded to automatically set up pieces and do stuff, so I was going to give it a shot. But I never got around to doing the coding, especially as my play group lost interest in Vassal for other things.
However, I did write up most of the rules and :usericonchichi: arted up some of the key assets very nicely. There's still a need to write up the Event, Item, and NPC cards, along with some of the art for those cards, and actually draw the game board, but the core of the game is already there.
The game is essentially a pawn-based move-around-the-board type of game, where you roll for movement and go in whichever direction you want. You start as human, with variable penis, boob, and vagina sizes, the ability to grow a belly with pregnancy, and alternate races that you can transform into if you hit the right events/items. When you move to certain spaces, you can draw event cards that alter the game, or you can interact with stationary npcs, or go into a town to buy items from the store, or masturbate/interact with other players. There's a bit of Munchkin influence, as well as some other games. It's basically a sexual rpg and the goal is to be the first to get to the target SexP mark, which is set based on how long of a game you want to play. And like Munchkin, the game is very modular, to make each game unique, and allows for subsequent expansions quite easily if desired.
The reason I'm bringing this all up now is... Does anybody want to work on it with/for me?
I am not going to complete this on my own anytime soon, but if somebody wanted to do the coding in Vassal or actually create a physical version of the boardgame, I'd be glad to team up to finish it if people are actually interested.
I am not looking for idea people to help create the concept of the game, I've already got it largely fleshed out. I'm looking for people that want to actually bring the game itself into existence. This is probably easier than my attempts to find writers for the original game and won't actually take up much of my time either, if anybody did volunteer. Heck, if people just wanted something they could print out, cut apart, and play, I'd be up for filling that in too.
Just thought I'd check since this thing is otherwise rotting away on my drives :)
Nimin - What if you only started human?
Posted 9 years agoNo, Nimin is not dead. At least, not in my brain. I'm still looking for assistance and I'm writing bits and pieces here and there and, most importantly, I've been thinking about where to take the game as a whole, so I have a better idea of what needs to be added to progress to an eventual end.
One of the things I have been considering that would make the biggest impact, and thus want some more opinions on, is potentially having all players start out as human. No options to start as another race.
Why?
Having a single starting point means I can write the story around it, and write everything else from that perspective. The current multiple starting points means that I need to take into account that the player could be seeing Tieden as their first "foreign" race from either a felin or human perspective, which means I need to write it more generally for either. Having just starting as human means all other locations will be new, and I can write it from the human perspective.
All transformations could be written similarly. Going from felin to lupan isn't much of a change; you still have fur, pointy ears, and a tail. So, the transformation isn't as "surprising" as a human that suddenly has fur instead of just skin, or has a tail bursting out of there backside. Thus, transformations can be written with more surprise in them than "your tail gets poofier". As the players are humans in real life (I know, some of you might be dogs on the inside, but you still know the human condition), that's easier to relate with and can get more out of it.
Why not?
That would be a lot of extra re-writing that needs to be done to get the game to get that perspective, since it's already written rather generally. That could be a lot of work in itself, and as it stands I've already got more planned than I'm going to be able to handle on my own as it is, so that's a factor I need to keep in mind so I don't bite off more than I can chew. Yet, otherwise everything just feels more "bland" when I write it generally, which is harder to get motivated to write anyways.
Players may particularly prefer Nimin -because- of the ability to select different starting races. Or they like Nimin because it's written from any perspective like that, which might feel more unique compared to the other games out there. This part is the one that I'm really in the dark on, since I'm not one of the many players.
So, if you can give me your thoughts/preferences, that would be helpful! I'm not guaranteeing I'll have a release out anytime in the near future, but I am trying to get more and more back into the creation process, since it was a big part of my life for so many years and I've been lacking recently.
Thanks!
Update: I'm not responding individually because this has been great feedback so far, from both angles, and I like seeing people think these things through independently! Thanks so much for the discussions here, really helping me think through what's best for the game! (What's best for me doesn't matter too much here, this is a topic that I'm not sure which way I want to go which is why your input has been so helpful!)
One of the things I have been considering that would make the biggest impact, and thus want some more opinions on, is potentially having all players start out as human. No options to start as another race.
Why?
Having a single starting point means I can write the story around it, and write everything else from that perspective. The current multiple starting points means that I need to take into account that the player could be seeing Tieden as their first "foreign" race from either a felin or human perspective, which means I need to write it more generally for either. Having just starting as human means all other locations will be new, and I can write it from the human perspective.
All transformations could be written similarly. Going from felin to lupan isn't much of a change; you still have fur, pointy ears, and a tail. So, the transformation isn't as "surprising" as a human that suddenly has fur instead of just skin, or has a tail bursting out of there backside. Thus, transformations can be written with more surprise in them than "your tail gets poofier". As the players are humans in real life (I know, some of you might be dogs on the inside, but you still know the human condition), that's easier to relate with and can get more out of it.
Why not?
That would be a lot of extra re-writing that needs to be done to get the game to get that perspective, since it's already written rather generally. That could be a lot of work in itself, and as it stands I've already got more planned than I'm going to be able to handle on my own as it is, so that's a factor I need to keep in mind so I don't bite off more than I can chew. Yet, otherwise everything just feels more "bland" when I write it generally, which is harder to get motivated to write anyways.
Players may particularly prefer Nimin -because- of the ability to select different starting races. Or they like Nimin because it's written from any perspective like that, which might feel more unique compared to the other games out there. This part is the one that I'm really in the dark on, since I'm not one of the many players.
So, if you can give me your thoughts/preferences, that would be helpful! I'm not guaranteeing I'll have a release out anytime in the near future, but I am trying to get more and more back into the creation process, since it was a big part of my life for so many years and I've been lacking recently.
Thanks!
Update: I'm not responding individually because this has been great feedback so far, from both angles, and I like seeing people think these things through independently! Thanks so much for the discussions here, really helping me think through what's best for the game! (What's best for me doesn't matter too much here, this is a topic that I'm not sure which way I want to go which is why your input has been so helpful!)
Looking for a Girlfriend
Posted 9 years agoI've kinda attempted this before here, but with spring upon us once more I thought I'd just go all out. To hell with embarrassment!
I am looking for a female that I find attractive, both physically and mentally, to hopefully start a relationship with.
Yes, I am aware it is odd to be doing this through FA. I do have profiles on a few dating sites that I try to be active with, I have gone to dating events, and I keep an eye out for anybody I could strike up a conversation with. However, I haven't had much luck in finding that someone yet and there's always the problem of the fact that, yeah, I'm kinda a perv, as shown by what I do and what I'm interested in here on FA :P "I write stories about girls being inflated with cum and squirting milk from their bewbs" is awkward to bring up in most cases XD (Yes, I do have enough social tact to not actually say that, but the hyperbole gets the point across).
So why not FA then? If you've seen my stuff here and you're comfortable with it or even appreciate it, that's a large chunk of the wall out of the way. I'm not going to get my hopes up, but it's worth the try.
If you're a girl looking for a guy and you think you might be interested, please go ahead and note me. I have an OkCupid profile that I can share that provides more information about me, as long as I can get one from you in return. It's free to set one up, so that seems like a good route, but I'm up for making a profile on other sites if asked. Either way, I'd try to get to know you with some chatting and eventually some Skyping first to become friends, and then if things seem to be going well then we can go a step further :)
If you know of a girl that might be interested, feel free to send her my way too. I won't reject set-ups :P
That's a bit blunt, but I don't really have anything to lose by trying here ^^
And for some quick basics, here's a rundown.
About me
I'm a 29 year old guy in Chicago with a stable job, while making erotica as a hobby (of course). I'm not ashamed to admit it; I'm a virgin and I've never actually been in a real relationship before. I've had opportunities, but I've always aimed for a meaningful relationship first and only after my life was stable enough to support it. Now it is, so I'm open to it.
I'm 6', kinda on the thin to average size, white, dirty blonde hair, got a goatee, no tattoos or piercings. I've got a couple bachelor degrees, tend to use my brain more than my brawn, don't drink or smoke, and I think I'm generally well-adjusted.
You can probably gather more about my personality from how I write and what I've created, rather than what I can put here. Though, despite my kinky nature here, I'm relatively reserved and gentle compared to what I've seen from "normal" people. But, "normal" people won't suggest inducing lactation or enjoying pregnancy either, so there's trade-offs I suppose :P
What I prefer
Let me preface this by saying: I mean no disrespect to anybody. These are merely things I find more attractive in a potential close relationship. I'm friends with plenty of people that don't fall into these and I know some people might take these preferences as hate against the opposite. But my aim is to be honest and up front, rather than offend.
I am interested in a biological female. Biological hermaphrodites are cool too, but possible pregnancy is the main goal. Not saying anytime soon, but I look forward to raising children in the future, from conception onward. Otherwise, physically I do also prefer someone on the thinner side. Short and tall are both great, along with many variations in bust-waist-hips, but I'm not a big guy myself and it's nice to have someone similar. The rest of the features can vary wildly, there's many combinations I think are particularly attractive and even moreso once I get to know the person.
Mentally though, I'm totally looking for somebody that I can converse with for hours. That is so satisfying to find in someone. I don't mean rattling on and on pointlessly, but being able to keep an open dialogue is important to me. Also no drama-lamas, I just don't have the energy to maintain them. The rest of the personality preference is really just a matter of the whole. Shy girls are super-cute when they're still motivated and social girls are fun when they still retain their own identity, etc. I am a nerd that plays video games and Magic the Gathering while watching anime and youtube and so on, so a nerdy/geeky girl would be cool, though having separate interests that can be shared might work well too.
This should be interesting, at least. It'd be good to even make a couple of new female friends out of it, if nothing else. Could do some online gaming or some tv show/anime/movie watching or simply enjoy talking. If you're local, we could go out somewhere fun. If there was somebody long distance, I'm potentially up for flying around.
So yeah, thanks for reading and the consideration. If this journal is still up, then I'm still looking. If it's not, I might have found someone or I realized this was a bad idea and deleted it :P
I am looking for a female that I find attractive, both physically and mentally, to hopefully start a relationship with.
Yes, I am aware it is odd to be doing this through FA. I do have profiles on a few dating sites that I try to be active with, I have gone to dating events, and I keep an eye out for anybody I could strike up a conversation with. However, I haven't had much luck in finding that someone yet and there's always the problem of the fact that, yeah, I'm kinda a perv, as shown by what I do and what I'm interested in here on FA :P "I write stories about girls being inflated with cum and squirting milk from their bewbs" is awkward to bring up in most cases XD (Yes, I do have enough social tact to not actually say that, but the hyperbole gets the point across).
So why not FA then? If you've seen my stuff here and you're comfortable with it or even appreciate it, that's a large chunk of the wall out of the way. I'm not going to get my hopes up, but it's worth the try.
If you're a girl looking for a guy and you think you might be interested, please go ahead and note me. I have an OkCupid profile that I can share that provides more information about me, as long as I can get one from you in return. It's free to set one up, so that seems like a good route, but I'm up for making a profile on other sites if asked. Either way, I'd try to get to know you with some chatting and eventually some Skyping first to become friends, and then if things seem to be going well then we can go a step further :)
If you know of a girl that might be interested, feel free to send her my way too. I won't reject set-ups :P
That's a bit blunt, but I don't really have anything to lose by trying here ^^
And for some quick basics, here's a rundown.
About me
I'm a 29 year old guy in Chicago with a stable job, while making erotica as a hobby (of course). I'm not ashamed to admit it; I'm a virgin and I've never actually been in a real relationship before. I've had opportunities, but I've always aimed for a meaningful relationship first and only after my life was stable enough to support it. Now it is, so I'm open to it.
I'm 6', kinda on the thin to average size, white, dirty blonde hair, got a goatee, no tattoos or piercings. I've got a couple bachelor degrees, tend to use my brain more than my brawn, don't drink or smoke, and I think I'm generally well-adjusted.
You can probably gather more about my personality from how I write and what I've created, rather than what I can put here. Though, despite my kinky nature here, I'm relatively reserved and gentle compared to what I've seen from "normal" people. But, "normal" people won't suggest inducing lactation or enjoying pregnancy either, so there's trade-offs I suppose :P
What I prefer
Let me preface this by saying: I mean no disrespect to anybody. These are merely things I find more attractive in a potential close relationship. I'm friends with plenty of people that don't fall into these and I know some people might take these preferences as hate against the opposite. But my aim is to be honest and up front, rather than offend.
I am interested in a biological female. Biological hermaphrodites are cool too, but possible pregnancy is the main goal. Not saying anytime soon, but I look forward to raising children in the future, from conception onward. Otherwise, physically I do also prefer someone on the thinner side. Short and tall are both great, along with many variations in bust-waist-hips, but I'm not a big guy myself and it's nice to have someone similar. The rest of the features can vary wildly, there's many combinations I think are particularly attractive and even moreso once I get to know the person.
Mentally though, I'm totally looking for somebody that I can converse with for hours. That is so satisfying to find in someone. I don't mean rattling on and on pointlessly, but being able to keep an open dialogue is important to me. Also no drama-lamas, I just don't have the energy to maintain them. The rest of the personality preference is really just a matter of the whole. Shy girls are super-cute when they're still motivated and social girls are fun when they still retain their own identity, etc. I am a nerd that plays video games and Magic the Gathering while watching anime and youtube and so on, so a nerdy/geeky girl would be cool, though having separate interests that can be shared might work well too.
This should be interesting, at least. It'd be good to even make a couple of new female friends out of it, if nothing else. Could do some online gaming or some tv show/anime/movie watching or simply enjoy talking. If you're local, we could go out somewhere fun. If there was somebody long distance, I'm potentially up for flying around.
So yeah, thanks for reading and the consideration. If this journal is still up, then I'm still looking. If it's not, I might have found someone or I realized this was a bad idea and deleted it :P
Midwest Furfest (MFF) 2015
Posted 10 years agoI shall be there again this year, since I live only an hour away by public transportation. This time I actually planned ahead and pre-registered! =D
Don't really have much in terms of actual plans on what to do when there yet, though. Will be hanging out with some friends and maybe attending a couple panels. I'll be there Thurs-Saturday, maybe Sunday if there's things happening.
I'll have the badge by Xizana I got last year as well.
Just a heads up if anybody's got suggestions for me! =D
Don't really have much in terms of actual plans on what to do when there yet, though. Will be hanging out with some friends and maybe attending a couple panels. I'll be there Thurs-Saturday, maybe Sunday if there's things happening.
I'll have the badge by Xizana I got last year as well.
Just a heads up if anybody's got suggestions for me! =D
Looking for Nimin Team
Posted 10 years agoBuilding Nimin is a bit of a logistical nightmare. I need more big events, I need more world building, I need more masturbation scene, I need more dreams, I need more descriptions, I need more items, I need more areas. I need a lot more of a lot of different things, so much so to the point that when I sit down to write something, I get lost thinking about all the things needed and wind up doing nothing.
I have been trying to work on Nimin since I released the Labyrinth game and so far I have made almost 0 progress. After the Labyrinth game and a bunch of other things, I realized what more needs to be done with Nimin and I'm basically drowning in things to do to the point I can't focus enough on even one thing to get it done. I don't have the time nor energy nor motivation that I used to, and my standards have risen even further. I have generally tried to avoid doing this in the past because I feel the different voices make the game worse, but if the game never gets anywhere then it doesn't matter.
So, I am looking for volunteers to be a part of the "Nimin Team".
I have done this a couple times before (looking for outside help on certain things), but they have never gotten far because I couldn't find the right people. This time, I'm going to leave this open and see if the right people come along eventually, even if it does take months.
What I am looking for
I need good writers. I don't mean people aspiring to be good writers or people who think they're good writers because a few dozen people watch them. I mean writers who understand what good writing entails, what it means to really proofread and worry about flow of a story, what it means to write smut in a way that is actually enjoyable and isn't mindnumbing. This is a huge restriction. I am not going to let just any random writers help out; I want to raise the quality of Nimin, not lower it.
I also need writers that can think holistically and creatively. Nimin isn't just writing a long story. Nimin is a game with many variables going on; different body sizes and genders, bizarre mosaics of anatomy, many statuses that can be included or modified. You don't just write a 10 page story for an event. You write different paths and options, you make the event come to life with degrees of interactivity while still keeping in mind your limits on how different things can get.
Basically, it's a cross between a good game developer and a good writer, a combination that isn't very common. You don't need to be awesome at both, there's avenues for big and small events, avenues for game development or enemy creation, many different things to take advantage of your strengths.
What I am NOT looking for
I am not looking for idea people. I have ideas flying out the wazoo and any good writer/game developer has their own as well. Writers will totally be able to come up with their own ideas, if they can follow through on them, but I don't need volunteers whose sole purpose is to provide ideas. I see a lot of notes and comments offering, and I'm sorry, but Nimin's problem isn't a lack of ideas, it's a lack of ability to make all the ideas come to life. The idea people I need are the ones who can fully implement it.
I am also not looking for drama. If you're volunteering to help make the game, anything you make for the game you're relinquishing your personal rights over that content. I don't intend to screw anybody over, but I am not going to add even more logistics with keeping track of who did what and the legalese of it all if things change some way in the future. And I really really don't want to deal with people who suddenly want to snatch the game to make some profit venture, or get all huffed up for some random reason and demand all their content be removed. Communities, furry or otherwise, are rife with drama and I don't want any part of it.
What being on a team will entail
I will be the director/producer of the game.
I have a vision of the game and I will lay out some plans that need to be fulfilled. I may request a specific kind of scene in a generalized way ("A gay/bi lupan event focused around knotting", for example), or I may request certain areas of the game ("A new enemy for area X"). I won't assign these plans. Team members will accept them as they're interested, multiple members can even collab on the same idea if they want. But members will be expected to do at least some of the plans laid out.
I will also accept ideas from those involved. In fact, I hope those involved will be eager to come up with their own ideas. I will review them to ensure they fit within the themes desired and may request slight tweaks to the idea or potentially reject it (with reasons why, of course). Nimin is a game about a wide range of stuff, but I do try to present it in a certain kind of way; kinky but innocent, weird but loving, taboo but inevitably accepting. I don't wanna be tyrannical, but I made Nimin for a reason and want to stick down that path.
When creating content, either your own idea or mine, I won't put it into the game unless it is fully "complete". As in, I won't put in part of the event and leave the rest in limbo until the next update (like Jamie). I've done this before and have been burned by it. This doesn't mean you can't add onto an idea later if you come up with more paths to spin off the main one, but it does mean a path needs to be fully realized. This way, if something comes up or you're no longer interested, the rest of the team doesn't have to pick up the slack to finish something.
I will also provide a cheat-sheet for what's useable in the game without needing to learn how to code. I will expect that it be written in a code-like manner, but I'll provide the formatting so you just have to follow certain rules when writing to keep the syntax without actually having to learn what it all means. If you do want to learn about coding or know how to code, I can also provide the entire code base for you to peruse and take advantage of, maybe even putting it up on Git for group manipulation.
Nobody will be paid for their work. This is not an opportunity for profit, I'm sorry. Nimin is a free game with the goal of just making something awesome, not making something to sell. I do have the donation link up for myself, but I have never received any donations outside of the donation drives and I can even take that down at this point. However! If/when there are donation drives for players to see some of their own ideas/kinks get treatment in the game, members of the team will be able to help out doing specific requests and I will forward the donations received to whoever implemented it. I will also split up any non-requesting donations across all the members evenly. This is merely a perk, not a reason to join.
Per the no-drama rule though, there is no legal obligation to send the donations your way, so you can't try to bring legal action against me for some bullshit, though by then I don't think those drama-lamas will be part of the team, hopefully. I'm not saying I won't send you your share of donations, I hope I have shown myself to be trustworthy enough to not instill that kind of worry, but I do have to protect myself by saying that.
And quick note: Nimin isn't strictly furry! I myself am not a furry, I don't see myself as an anthropomorphic animal nor do I relate more with anthropomorphic animals. Nimin just happens to have a lot of anthropomorphic animals because they do have a place in general sexuality and the expression thereof; they're in for a good reason. But, there's plenty of other options among monsters, mythology, and just plain strange that work too that I just haven't gotten around to adding yet. So, if you're a writer that doesn't want to be a "furry writer", there's plenty more to work with.
How to Join the team
Here's the tricky part: actually building the team...
If you are interested in joining, send me a note saying that you're interested with some examples of your writing. Writing examples generally mean long-ish kinky stories. I need to make sure you can A) maintain pacing and have the stamina to see a longer story through, since events can be long, and B) you can write something sexual that will appeal to people, both with kinkiness and payoff, since that's what the game is about. I've been telling people 8+ pages of story is a good measure of a longer story, and as for kinks, I'm sure you've seen Nimin to know what level of kinkiness can be written about.
If you don't have something written but you think you'd be up to this, then write something. If you think you're better writing the deviating stories with many variables as opposed to a straight up story, then you're probably not right for this as knowing how to adapt to the different styles is required of a good writer/developer.
There's no real limit to how big the team can get at the moment, so there's no rush. If there's more people that just means the game grows faster. Anybody who creates content for the game will be added to the game's credits as they make stuff, with appropriate credit for what they made.
Keep in mind: As said above, I haven't had much luck finding people that can help out in the past. I do have high standards I want to maintain/achieve. I also need people that are genuinely interested in the project for the project's sake. If you're afraid to apply because you're afraid of rejection, then you probably aren't fit to begin with; the no drama rule and the use of directing means you might not work out well if you can't stand a simple rejection. I'm not mean - I'll politely decline - but if you're not mature enough to handle rejection then you're likely not old enough to help out.
But, if you're not quite a good enough writer yet and I see potential in you becoming one, I may offer critiques/suggestions and see if you can grow to fit the role. Do NOT take this as a way to get free critiques, I'll only do so for certain kinds of people. If I don't give you a critique or whatever, don't take it as a sign that you suck, it just means I don't see you being able to fit on the team either due to the kinds of skills required or the type of world Nimin is.
If I get nobody
Nimin won't die if I get nobody. At least, I hope not. I keep having ideas on how to make it better and I'll implement them over time, just don't be surprised if the releases take forever to come out. I didn't make Nimin for popularity or whatever, it's a hobby I like to work on and I'll do it as I do it.
If I get only 1 other person on the team, I'm also not going to drown them in things to do. They'll also do stuff as they're able. Being on the team just means I will readily work with them on adding stuff to the game, not that they're obligated to make stuff forever. Just as I'm allowing for myself.
I have been trying to work on Nimin since I released the Labyrinth game and so far I have made almost 0 progress. After the Labyrinth game and a bunch of other things, I realized what more needs to be done with Nimin and I'm basically drowning in things to do to the point I can't focus enough on even one thing to get it done. I don't have the time nor energy nor motivation that I used to, and my standards have risen even further. I have generally tried to avoid doing this in the past because I feel the different voices make the game worse, but if the game never gets anywhere then it doesn't matter.
So, I am looking for volunteers to be a part of the "Nimin Team".
I have done this a couple times before (looking for outside help on certain things), but they have never gotten far because I couldn't find the right people. This time, I'm going to leave this open and see if the right people come along eventually, even if it does take months.
What I am looking for
I need good writers. I don't mean people aspiring to be good writers or people who think they're good writers because a few dozen people watch them. I mean writers who understand what good writing entails, what it means to really proofread and worry about flow of a story, what it means to write smut in a way that is actually enjoyable and isn't mindnumbing. This is a huge restriction. I am not going to let just any random writers help out; I want to raise the quality of Nimin, not lower it.
I also need writers that can think holistically and creatively. Nimin isn't just writing a long story. Nimin is a game with many variables going on; different body sizes and genders, bizarre mosaics of anatomy, many statuses that can be included or modified. You don't just write a 10 page story for an event. You write different paths and options, you make the event come to life with degrees of interactivity while still keeping in mind your limits on how different things can get.
Basically, it's a cross between a good game developer and a good writer, a combination that isn't very common. You don't need to be awesome at both, there's avenues for big and small events, avenues for game development or enemy creation, many different things to take advantage of your strengths.
What I am NOT looking for
I am not looking for idea people. I have ideas flying out the wazoo and any good writer/game developer has their own as well. Writers will totally be able to come up with their own ideas, if they can follow through on them, but I don't need volunteers whose sole purpose is to provide ideas. I see a lot of notes and comments offering, and I'm sorry, but Nimin's problem isn't a lack of ideas, it's a lack of ability to make all the ideas come to life. The idea people I need are the ones who can fully implement it.
I am also not looking for drama. If you're volunteering to help make the game, anything you make for the game you're relinquishing your personal rights over that content. I don't intend to screw anybody over, but I am not going to add even more logistics with keeping track of who did what and the legalese of it all if things change some way in the future. And I really really don't want to deal with people who suddenly want to snatch the game to make some profit venture, or get all huffed up for some random reason and demand all their content be removed. Communities, furry or otherwise, are rife with drama and I don't want any part of it.
What being on a team will entail
I will be the director/producer of the game.
I have a vision of the game and I will lay out some plans that need to be fulfilled. I may request a specific kind of scene in a generalized way ("A gay/bi lupan event focused around knotting", for example), or I may request certain areas of the game ("A new enemy for area X"). I won't assign these plans. Team members will accept them as they're interested, multiple members can even collab on the same idea if they want. But members will be expected to do at least some of the plans laid out.
I will also accept ideas from those involved. In fact, I hope those involved will be eager to come up with their own ideas. I will review them to ensure they fit within the themes desired and may request slight tweaks to the idea or potentially reject it (with reasons why, of course). Nimin is a game about a wide range of stuff, but I do try to present it in a certain kind of way; kinky but innocent, weird but loving, taboo but inevitably accepting. I don't wanna be tyrannical, but I made Nimin for a reason and want to stick down that path.
When creating content, either your own idea or mine, I won't put it into the game unless it is fully "complete". As in, I won't put in part of the event and leave the rest in limbo until the next update (like Jamie). I've done this before and have been burned by it. This doesn't mean you can't add onto an idea later if you come up with more paths to spin off the main one, but it does mean a path needs to be fully realized. This way, if something comes up or you're no longer interested, the rest of the team doesn't have to pick up the slack to finish something.
I will also provide a cheat-sheet for what's useable in the game without needing to learn how to code. I will expect that it be written in a code-like manner, but I'll provide the formatting so you just have to follow certain rules when writing to keep the syntax without actually having to learn what it all means. If you do want to learn about coding or know how to code, I can also provide the entire code base for you to peruse and take advantage of, maybe even putting it up on Git for group manipulation.
Nobody will be paid for their work. This is not an opportunity for profit, I'm sorry. Nimin is a free game with the goal of just making something awesome, not making something to sell. I do have the donation link up for myself, but I have never received any donations outside of the donation drives and I can even take that down at this point. However! If/when there are donation drives for players to see some of their own ideas/kinks get treatment in the game, members of the team will be able to help out doing specific requests and I will forward the donations received to whoever implemented it. I will also split up any non-requesting donations across all the members evenly. This is merely a perk, not a reason to join.
Per the no-drama rule though, there is no legal obligation to send the donations your way, so you can't try to bring legal action against me for some bullshit, though by then I don't think those drama-lamas will be part of the team, hopefully. I'm not saying I won't send you your share of donations, I hope I have shown myself to be trustworthy enough to not instill that kind of worry, but I do have to protect myself by saying that.
And quick note: Nimin isn't strictly furry! I myself am not a furry, I don't see myself as an anthropomorphic animal nor do I relate more with anthropomorphic animals. Nimin just happens to have a lot of anthropomorphic animals because they do have a place in general sexuality and the expression thereof; they're in for a good reason. But, there's plenty of other options among monsters, mythology, and just plain strange that work too that I just haven't gotten around to adding yet. So, if you're a writer that doesn't want to be a "furry writer", there's plenty more to work with.
How to Join the team
Here's the tricky part: actually building the team...
If you are interested in joining, send me a note saying that you're interested with some examples of your writing. Writing examples generally mean long-ish kinky stories. I need to make sure you can A) maintain pacing and have the stamina to see a longer story through, since events can be long, and B) you can write something sexual that will appeal to people, both with kinkiness and payoff, since that's what the game is about. I've been telling people 8+ pages of story is a good measure of a longer story, and as for kinks, I'm sure you've seen Nimin to know what level of kinkiness can be written about.
If you don't have something written but you think you'd be up to this, then write something. If you think you're better writing the deviating stories with many variables as opposed to a straight up story, then you're probably not right for this as knowing how to adapt to the different styles is required of a good writer/developer.
There's no real limit to how big the team can get at the moment, so there's no rush. If there's more people that just means the game grows faster. Anybody who creates content for the game will be added to the game's credits as they make stuff, with appropriate credit for what they made.
Keep in mind: As said above, I haven't had much luck finding people that can help out in the past. I do have high standards I want to maintain/achieve. I also need people that are genuinely interested in the project for the project's sake. If you're afraid to apply because you're afraid of rejection, then you probably aren't fit to begin with; the no drama rule and the use of directing means you might not work out well if you can't stand a simple rejection. I'm not mean - I'll politely decline - but if you're not mature enough to handle rejection then you're likely not old enough to help out.
But, if you're not quite a good enough writer yet and I see potential in you becoming one, I may offer critiques/suggestions and see if you can grow to fit the role. Do NOT take this as a way to get free critiques, I'll only do so for certain kinds of people. If I don't give you a critique or whatever, don't take it as a sign that you suck, it just means I don't see you being able to fit on the team either due to the kinds of skills required or the type of world Nimin is.
If I get nobody
Nimin won't die if I get nobody. At least, I hope not. I keep having ideas on how to make it better and I'll implement them over time, just don't be surprised if the releases take forever to come out. I didn't make Nimin for popularity or whatever, it's a hobby I like to work on and I'll do it as I do it.
If I get only 1 other person on the team, I'm also not going to drown them in things to do. They'll also do stuff as they're able. Being on the team just means I will readily work with them on adding stuff to the game, not that they're obligated to make stuff forever. Just as I'm allowing for myself.
Why I do what I do
Posted 10 years agoThis journal is to help me sort out my own thoughts, as well as giving others who are interested insight into somebody else.
As I try to motivate myself to write new content, I have to ask myself why do I do what I do. Why should I continue to create? What would others think of me for the things I create? How would I motivate others to create?
Creativity and art is the attempt to express oneself, to pull together an abstract idea they have in their head and get it out, to achieve something they think needs to be achieved. Rarely is art for the sole benefit of others. Something can be created for other people, but the desire to create to begin with is an internal motivation to see something come to life from your own perspective. Everybody has their own perspective and getting lost to the perspective of others means losing one’s identity and reason for existence, so fulfilling your own perspective means substantiating your existence.
Tldr: Art is how we give reason to our existence.
Art can be drawings, art can be writings, art can be dancing, art can be speaking, art can be language, art can be religion; all creative endeavors that are not cloning someone else’s ideas are art.
So, what does making games and stories and drawings say about my existence? How do giant vaginas, horsecocks, long nipples, udders, clitdicks, pregnancy, lactation, egg laying, breast growth, etc, etc give me reason to my life? Why do I feel need to bring these ideas to the world?
I am not a mass of perverted obscenities in real life. I don’t masturbate every day nor go to strip clubs nor watch live action porn nor grope a girl when I get a chance; I think I might actually be more reserved and respectful than many people. I don’t have aspergers or autism or ADD or a terrible childhood or any type of social or mental disorder that could easily explain it away. And yet I still try to push the boundaries of fantasy fetishism, I try to encourage sexual “exploration”/”deviancy” in others, and I try to arouse without any intent for reciprocation.
So… Why?
When I break it down in my head, I think it mostly comes down to two things. A) Sexuality and all variations therein are an honest rendition of a person’s personality and B) I want so much more out of this world and I believe it is somehow achievable.
For (A), what arouses a person is a truer reflection of what they are like when you remove the social facades and structures. It’s hard to lie about what you find arousing, you either do or you don’t, with varying degrees of attraction and repulsion. Now, I’m not saying that liking horsecocks means you want to fuck horses, not even close. There are always some drawings that include horsecocks that will really arouse you and others that will completely turn you off. However, those horsecocks are a reflection of an aspect of your personality, depending on the situations you find them attractive/repulsive. Horsecocks can be a symbol of strength and intensity, or they can be a symbol of impending pain/body manipulation. Liking a horsecock could mean that you are a confident individual that seeks to make yourself stronger, or it could mean you are a weaker individual that wants others to have their way with you. Porn-astrology, if you want to have a laugh at the idea. Tie together all the fetishes somebody likes and you get a good image of who they are as a person, without them trying to hide it behind social labels that barely do them justice. Furries aren’t into fur-porn because they want to molest animals, lolicon isn’t because somebody is a pedophile, bdsm isn’t because somebody wants to abuse/be-abused. Sure, some people who are actually into those real-world equivalents might be into those fictional fetishes just as some people who commit real violence like violent movies. But, for the fictional fetishes themselves, they exist because they reflect a certain abstract aspect of our own selves that we find expresses more efficiently through that fetish.
Honestly, (A) could be said about any kind of interest a person has, such as their hobbies or what they watch on Youtube, but I find it innately more fun and lighthearted when figuring it out in terms of sexual kinks. It’s hard to get into arguments over opinions of fetishes when they’re all bizarre and awkward. And seeing someone blush over a kink they really enjoy yet seem embarrassed about is just so friggan adorable. Sexuality is a medium that is important to our lives and our happiness, and yet it is a medium filled with ignorance and fear of exploration. So, while some may paint with vibrant colors or compose with flutes, I choose to write about tits and cocks.
As for (B), it partially stems from my own (A), and how I go about most of my life. I find the world to be… not really as exciting as I think it could be. I have a degree in Physics and Philosophy, I focused in Astrophysics and could do really complex calculations on some of the most amazing phenomena, I’ve gone zip-lining through a jungle and seen sunrises over the mountains and have had beautiful moments. I won’t claim to be an exceptionally learned person or really all that adventurous, but when it boils down, I do know at least a touch of the better things in the world and… I haven’t been entirely impressed. I know there’s great things, but I feel like there could be greater, and I try to seek that in some ways.
Why did I make Nimin? I saw UTG and thought “Gee, I like that, but I feel like I could make something that I find more interesting for myself”. Why did I start writing? I read many stories and saw many images and thought “Nothing quite arouses me as accurately as I can imagine”. Why horsecocks/pregnancy/extreme-bizarre-weird-things? Because I want to pull together particular aspects of these things together to develop an abstract idea of what I think a better world could have in my mind. Something that’s open and accepting, something that’s daring and progressive, something that feels more awe-inspiring. Not a world literally filled with dicks and vaginas, but a world of freedom and new experiences and amazement.
I am not claiming to be a good philosopher or scientist or artist, or even an adequate one. But this little “rant” is just how I justify what I do, why I think I do it, and why I’m not a grossly perverse degenerate for doing what I do. I don’t feel ashamed for creating what I do and I want people to feel comfortable enjoying what they enjoy. There is far more to these dicks and vaginas than their literal interpretations.
As I try to motivate myself to write new content, I have to ask myself why do I do what I do. Why should I continue to create? What would others think of me for the things I create? How would I motivate others to create?
Creativity and art is the attempt to express oneself, to pull together an abstract idea they have in their head and get it out, to achieve something they think needs to be achieved. Rarely is art for the sole benefit of others. Something can be created for other people, but the desire to create to begin with is an internal motivation to see something come to life from your own perspective. Everybody has their own perspective and getting lost to the perspective of others means losing one’s identity and reason for existence, so fulfilling your own perspective means substantiating your existence.
Tldr: Art is how we give reason to our existence.
Art can be drawings, art can be writings, art can be dancing, art can be speaking, art can be language, art can be religion; all creative endeavors that are not cloning someone else’s ideas are art.
So, what does making games and stories and drawings say about my existence? How do giant vaginas, horsecocks, long nipples, udders, clitdicks, pregnancy, lactation, egg laying, breast growth, etc, etc give me reason to my life? Why do I feel need to bring these ideas to the world?
I am not a mass of perverted obscenities in real life. I don’t masturbate every day nor go to strip clubs nor watch live action porn nor grope a girl when I get a chance; I think I might actually be more reserved and respectful than many people. I don’t have aspergers or autism or ADD or a terrible childhood or any type of social or mental disorder that could easily explain it away. And yet I still try to push the boundaries of fantasy fetishism, I try to encourage sexual “exploration”/”deviancy” in others, and I try to arouse without any intent for reciprocation.
So… Why?
When I break it down in my head, I think it mostly comes down to two things. A) Sexuality and all variations therein are an honest rendition of a person’s personality and B) I want so much more out of this world and I believe it is somehow achievable.
For (A), what arouses a person is a truer reflection of what they are like when you remove the social facades and structures. It’s hard to lie about what you find arousing, you either do or you don’t, with varying degrees of attraction and repulsion. Now, I’m not saying that liking horsecocks means you want to fuck horses, not even close. There are always some drawings that include horsecocks that will really arouse you and others that will completely turn you off. However, those horsecocks are a reflection of an aspect of your personality, depending on the situations you find them attractive/repulsive. Horsecocks can be a symbol of strength and intensity, or they can be a symbol of impending pain/body manipulation. Liking a horsecock could mean that you are a confident individual that seeks to make yourself stronger, or it could mean you are a weaker individual that wants others to have their way with you. Porn-astrology, if you want to have a laugh at the idea. Tie together all the fetishes somebody likes and you get a good image of who they are as a person, without them trying to hide it behind social labels that barely do them justice. Furries aren’t into fur-porn because they want to molest animals, lolicon isn’t because somebody is a pedophile, bdsm isn’t because somebody wants to abuse/be-abused. Sure, some people who are actually into those real-world equivalents might be into those fictional fetishes just as some people who commit real violence like violent movies. But, for the fictional fetishes themselves, they exist because they reflect a certain abstract aspect of our own selves that we find expresses more efficiently through that fetish.
Honestly, (A) could be said about any kind of interest a person has, such as their hobbies or what they watch on Youtube, but I find it innately more fun and lighthearted when figuring it out in terms of sexual kinks. It’s hard to get into arguments over opinions of fetishes when they’re all bizarre and awkward. And seeing someone blush over a kink they really enjoy yet seem embarrassed about is just so friggan adorable. Sexuality is a medium that is important to our lives and our happiness, and yet it is a medium filled with ignorance and fear of exploration. So, while some may paint with vibrant colors or compose with flutes, I choose to write about tits and cocks.
As for (B), it partially stems from my own (A), and how I go about most of my life. I find the world to be… not really as exciting as I think it could be. I have a degree in Physics and Philosophy, I focused in Astrophysics and could do really complex calculations on some of the most amazing phenomena, I’ve gone zip-lining through a jungle and seen sunrises over the mountains and have had beautiful moments. I won’t claim to be an exceptionally learned person or really all that adventurous, but when it boils down, I do know at least a touch of the better things in the world and… I haven’t been entirely impressed. I know there’s great things, but I feel like there could be greater, and I try to seek that in some ways.
Why did I make Nimin? I saw UTG and thought “Gee, I like that, but I feel like I could make something that I find more interesting for myself”. Why did I start writing? I read many stories and saw many images and thought “Nothing quite arouses me as accurately as I can imagine”. Why horsecocks/pregnancy/extreme-bizarre-weird-things? Because I want to pull together particular aspects of these things together to develop an abstract idea of what I think a better world could have in my mind. Something that’s open and accepting, something that’s daring and progressive, something that feels more awe-inspiring. Not a world literally filled with dicks and vaginas, but a world of freedom and new experiences and amazement.
I am not claiming to be a good philosopher or scientist or artist, or even an adequate one. But this little “rant” is just how I justify what I do, why I think I do it, and why I’m not a grossly perverse degenerate for doing what I do. I don’t feel ashamed for creating what I do and I want people to feel comfortable enjoying what they enjoy. There is far more to these dicks and vaginas than their literal interpretations.
