They say when your depressed you should talk to a therapist, but I'm afraid if I do I'll realize I am just waiting to die. Not wanting to kill myself, but to just die, die saving someone, die so someone else can be motivated to turn thier life around. Like I'm a background character in someone else's story who will deliver some peice of wisdom or advice then just die. Or that if I unpack all my feelings there won't be anything there, like being depressed is all I am? Or the solution to my problems is something I shouod have done but its too late to do it or its something I just can't do. I want to be loved and be in love, but have never been romanticly attracted to someone. I have all these sexual fantasies but actually having sex? It scares me, I've never even purposely gotten myself off, having to perform for someone else is terrifying, and I'm not just afraid I'll be bad at it I don't think I can ever... do it. I fear therapy will just lead to punishment, to things that do bring me joy being taken away. That all things I like will be stripped away and "spirituality" that means nothing to me will be forced on me. That I'll be forced to do activities I don't care for with people I don't connect with. Or worse I'll conclude I DO want to kill myself! That I shouod have refused my heart transplant and just died. I don't feel like I have anything I am really passionate about. And then there's my fear I'm just spewing pointless nonsense here.

The whole Palworld lawsuit is a perfect illustration that the Big N needs to start making when choices for dealing with competition. Instead of trying to sue Palworld they shouod have out done them! Palworld is pokemon + Survival, resource gathering, base building, crafting etc. Why didn't Nintendo just make "Pokémon: Survive" same concept but actually Pokemon? Instead of trying to destory the competition in the courts destory them in the market!
Some fan makes a super popular mod or fan game? Don't demand cease and desist, Aquire and Monotize! Buy it off them and sell it!

So often I see people boild down thier criticism to "a show depicted something I don't like so its bad!" While completely ignoring context. The idea tgat discussing a topic means your in favor of it is such a frustrating hypocrisy. So often a show or book presents something society at large sees as wrong as wrong, but people still insist the media is in favor of it somehow? A show features demons and it's accused of promoting devil worship, even if it depicts demons as universally evil, untrust worthy, murderous and deceitful antagonistic forces. How can you hate a peice of media that completely agrees with and promotes your view point? You say a show is procorpiration despite the main villian being a evil business man and the heros being violently anticorporate?

One of the worst parts of my life long difficulty in getting to sleep is the excess of time I have to reflect. Afters watching a video 9n TTRPG horror stories I reflected on my own experinces with the hobby. And sadly most of my stories end the same way "... And then someone lost intrest." Be it the DM or other player, the only other end is "... then no one else had time." Its been almost.. 20 years since last played. It can charitablely be called my primary hobby and I haven't done it for 20 years? This crushes me. My frist Vampire Game, we screwed zoo animals session ends... then the GM lost intrest wants to play D20 starwars. Starwars 1 bad roll and we botch the mission so session ends... and the GM lost interest. 1st D&D as player, we start in tye middle of the game, flee Tiamat, session ends... DM drops the hobby. Second time we protect a caravan come to a town DMPC Red the Bard goes to set up the plot we end session... DM lost intrest wants to play werewolf. Werewolf roll characters roleplay briefly, plan a break in at a corporate building, GM and other players reminisce about a previous game of werewolf with friends who moved away so session over... the the GM lost intrest, wantscto play D&D with new players. D&D again, we rescue the wizard from kobolds, session ends, next session we make it to town and meet... DMPC Red the bard, he goes off to set up the plot... the wizard loses intrest! Game I ran, 15 sessions, then no one has the time anymore. Old GM wants to star5 a new D&D game, we discuss... then he gets divorced all the couple's friends who ARE thier D&D group dump him, except me... year later wife dumps all those friends... DM gets into a plyocule never contacts me again cause the girls don't like/know me.
20 years later got a collection of D&D stuff my mom and step dad want me to get rid of since I moved in for medical reasons...

Take a look at my art, my faves and you'll likely assume I'm gay or maybe trans. But I'm not, I am stright, very much so. But I feel very uncomfortable in situations and settings society associates with being stright. Hate sports, don't drink, don't do drugs. So the its "so your a incel?" But no I don't hate women, I don't believe they owe me anything. Not sex, not attention, not the time of day because I don't approach them, I'm afraid of screwing up enough I don't give much effort. I don't do anything to deserve anything. And LGBTQ spaces? Seem like they should feel safe, judgement free? Nope I feel judged, unwelcome, like an intruder. And when pride month roles around and furry spaces become queer spaces? Nerd spaces become Queer spaces? I tells me "Your NOT WELCOME" this is NOT a place for YOU because queer adjacent isn't good enough. You can't say Biology is real and influences behavior and there are constructed gender behaviors exist, "No middle ground options welcome choose a Side! And don't question" or "You identify as stright so you don't get a voice you either support with out question or you can get the fuck out you bigot!"
So why does Pride Month Depress me? Because it tells me "Your between the cracks" "You aren't welcome were you think you fit in unless you LIE about your feelings and beliefs" and "Your experinces are worthless you FREAK."

I am getting tired of social media spaces I was invited to participate in being so much... the same as spaces I rejected. Tired of what amounts to a diffrent flavor of bullshit and judgment in places that claim to be welcoming. Welcoming sure, so long as you drink thier kool-aid! "Don't point out our hypocrisy" "don't have an opinion that goes against our narrative" "don't point out when you think a part of the narrative is stupid or counter productive." "You'll only ever be a guest in OUR space not a contributing voice because your particular form of weirdness is too "hetrosexual" " "Go back to the place that hates yiu for being too Queer or fall in line and be falsely aggressively queer."

I've been playing with generative AI in a attempt to satiate my desire for images of furry women in latex. But everytime I keep going it philosophical reasons these ladies who get me hard aren't just fap material. I went from a the spooky image of a foxgirl in what barely qualifies as radiation suit into commentary on transhumanisum, idenity and experimental medical procedures blurring the lines between fantasy and realty. My Ego really wants it to be deep, but I'm worried it's just a spore of madness where I'm trying to justify lusting after fantasy characters in unrealistic sexy outfits by wrapping it in smart sounding language.

Someone social media made the dumbest comment on a post in a Gundam Facebook group. The idiot implied the plot of Mobil Suit Gundam Ironblood Orpahns was some how a parallel to the current LA riots!

If you don't know Iron Blood orphans is about child soldiers forming a mercenary company who get drawn into a conflict between Martian colonists for freedom from the representatives of an Earth based goverment who see them self as nobles and want to enforce a midevil European style class system useing giant mecha as the primary means of conflict.

The LA riots on the other hand is goverment irresuction initiated by angry liberals and opportunistic criminals over the issue of illegal immigration. They are destroying and looting Los Angeles because immigration enforcement is deporting illegal economic migrants who still identify as citizens of other countries but want the benefit of US citizen ship with out paying into the system. Thier only justification is that some people who actually want US citizenship will be detained and the sitting president is an asshole.

News flash not the same. A fictional struggle abiut the autonomy of colonists vs an absentee goverment is nit the same as a temper tantrum that bad brown people are being punished for breaking the law by "Evil Orange Man". Breaking things, burn8ng up cars, looting and posting cringe dance videos on TikTok is not how you help the people who land to become legal US citizens when they get caught up with Criminals being deported back where they belong! Your not helping some Mexican guy who wants American citizen ship by smashing in widows or stealing a flat screen TV and demanding everyone Latino with mexican citizen including ones who came to the US just to send all thier money back to Mexico and not pay taxes or sell drugs be allowed to stay and claim benefits of the citizens if your own dammed country!

Like many back in 2019 I saw the Pilot for Hazbin Hotel and became enamored with it. Now 5 years later the show is actually out and I find my YouTube suggestions full of Dubs of fan comics for the series. But not new video's, ones from 2 or 3 year ago. It's a little scary the volume of fan fiction and comics produced during the time between the pilot and the show premiering. But most interesting is how much fans built around the limited information in the comics, which now clashes with the actual lore of the show. It's interesting because people built these fleshed out speculative worlds and complex relationships based on the show's pilot that are so diffrent from the creator's choices. For some this sadly ruins a show, the version you created never speaks to you the same as the offical show, mostly because you tailored your version to your wants, your experiences, you took something someone else made and made it yours. Then of course the clash in vision happens, a character fans expected to be a bad guy turns out is a hero, a character who you expected to be kind is cruel. I think that's the saddest way to leave a Fandom when it's not the inherent quality of the story or characters but that your predictions where wrong that makes you quit.

I dunno if I belong in the Fandom anymore, my tastes haven't changed but I feel so, outside of it now. Anthrocon was this month of course and, I couldn't bring myself to go! I had money, I live a few minutes bus ride from Pittsburg, but I wasn't able to summon the enthusiasm to go. All I could think was I was going to wander around, barely talk to anyone and just worry about the dammed bus schedule. I had no interest in the panels, I don't think any of the locals even know me now. Now I feel like an interloper, like holding onto the idea I'm even part of this community is just a waste. I know I'm whining, but I need to get this out, because having this "discussion" monolouge in my head is making me nuts!

Your often see people writing a story about a fictional character that isn't thier own that seems to "deconstruct" that character. To take apart the character to understand what makes them tick. This can be quite a fascinating story telling path to let you better understand the character weather your writing the story or reading it.
But a lot of stories like this are infact terrible mistakes. "Why do you say that?" You might ask me. Well two reasons come up.

One is when the goal is falsely called deconstruction when it is in fact destruction. Where the writer points out all the flaws a character has then concludes the existence of said flaws proves they are bad characters. The issue here is not the act itself but the dishonestly in not calling criticism what it is. If your goal is to point out why a character is bad call it what it is, criticism. Hiding your intent behind terminology is cowardice, and if your afraid to admit what your doing why should readers/listeners put any stock in what you say?

Another is of course people who don't do the hard part of deconstruction, the part where you come to conclusions about how all the parts work together the way they do. It's like a mechanic try to fix an car by taking it apart to see what's wrong then never putting it back together. Just identifying the parts of a character is meaningless if you don't have something to say about how that makes them who they are. Deconstruction is worthless if you don't put them back together.

I often see people pointing things they dislike in a story and calling it a plot hole, when it after a little thought it turns out it's not.
A real plot hole isn't necessary that by the rules of the setting can't be resolved with out a specific explanation. A subjective plot hole is one that can easily be explained with a generic explanation.

No one poops in a sitcom? Is it really a plot hole? A sitcom is basically the retelling of a humorous life event. Parts that aren't relevant to the story are pretty much excluded. Mundane activities like using the toilet often are not part of the story.

A character suddenly gains expertise in a field they can't possibly understand? That's a real issue. Having the knowledge impacts the story, it can't be dismissed because expertise in a subject should naturally come up, because it's part of the story.

Rey Palpatine being a match for Kylo Ren in thier first encounter makes no sense. A rookie even a prodigy does not match up to a trained foe of equal power. Had she been shown using just a ordinary sword to fight, as opposed to a staff, it would have worked, sword fighting would be an established skill she had.
Luke being able to blow up the Death Star works because he was established as good pilot in dialogue and he had the assistance of Obi Wan's ghost and Han Solo covering him. His skill was established and he had assistance.

After the worste reception ever Max is going to air a second season of Mindy Kaling's hate letter to Scooby Doo, Velma. The offensive, unfocused insult to all audiences wasn't rightful buried in the landfill with the rest of the toxic waste or destroyed forever in fire. What executives thought this was a good idea? No one liked that first season, does Mindy have something on the people in charge? Do they have to show it to prevent some apocalypse prophecy?

It was bound to happen, two streaming services that forced you to merged and half the customer base LOST thier whole library! Funimation and Crunchy Roll merged and ALL the customers from Funimation had thier digital libraries deleted! No recompensation, dropped back to square one! Reminder to buy physical or digital that is stored in hard drives/sim cards you own! Other wise you end up paying to "own" with out really owning anything!

The up coming X-Men 97 is worrying me now for one reason. The sudden number of articles about the character Morph and the decision to make him non-binary or more specifically the choice to make this a big deal. Now on one hand making a shapeshifter no binary kind of makes sense, perhaps too much sense for people looking for DEI boxes to tick?
All I am hearing is "Morph is non-binary" or "Finally an X-Man is Non-binary!". And so what? So what he's non-binary? What about the show? The story? The animation?
I don't think I am wrong when that a character's identity is made such a big deal of that it's preparation to use them as a shield. That any criticism of the show will be redirected to be criticism of Non-binary people.
With the show out next month I am worried that the story will shift to the politics of today or worse the recent "Krakoa Era" of X-Men rather than you know be like it's set in 97? X-Men has always been a imperfect metaphor for Civil Rights and I worry Disney might want to push it into identity politics, which it would be a WORSE metaphor for.
I stand by it being a bad metaphor for Civil rights because well super powers are involved.

As most of us know the recent Flash movie was ment to reset the DC Cinematic Universe to allow James Gunn to come in and unify the films under a new continuity. How ever seems the confusing cluster that the DCEU has been imparted NO lessons. Already Gunn has made it clear his Superman legacy film will feature at least a dozen heroes making their big screen debuts in a film supposedly focus on Superman. How ever the announcement of Wonder Woman 3 makes the whole idea of a "Reboot" a freaking joke. Wonder Woman 3 will be a direct sequel to Wonder Woman 1984 but ALSO be part of the new rebooted universe. Meaning Wonder Woman's history and experiences will not have changed but everyone else's will have? So out of the gate the Reboot universe will carry over continuity from the previous one and attempt to rush to a fully formed cinematic universe in it's very first film by introducing at least 7 C-list heroes. Now we have to wonder if Blue Beetle in the new continuity or the old? Will the coming Aquaman 2 be like Wonder Woman 3 a direct sequel straddling continuities? Was the Flash movie just and excuse to recast Batman and Superman?

An in progress version of Wizards of the Coast/Hasbro's updated to Dungeons and Dragons Open Gaming License leeked and the temp Open has never ment less. Previously it allowed for 3rd parties to create, and retain rights to their own content useing the rules and stucture of Dunegons and Dragons D20 system. The update not only retroactively changes that it goes so far as to claim WOTC/Hasbro owns any intellectual property and all products that will or have made money, in perpetuity (that is forever) and can use it in any manner they like. Additionally it states at any time, for any reason the OGL may be repealed for anyone. It means anyone who made money on D&D dirived content owes them back royalties, anyone who tries to make D&D dirived content all own them royalties and can be sued at Hasbro's whim, and all 3rd party content is WOTC/Hasbro's property now!

This is utter insanity, and a attempt to basically steal profits, IPs and discourage any new 3rd party content!

Ok so if you don't know a new Transformers live action film is coming, Rise of the Beasts. And the director and star recetly got intrevewed by BET and proved the do not get what the franchise is Obviously about. Because their response to "what makes this film diffrent" is the chqnce to focus on African Ameican Idenity and Culture? Make no mistaken that's something great to explore...in a different franchise! But dammit Transformes is about Giant Alien Robots! The Stars are the Giant Alien Robots! The character focus should be the Robots! How many times does Hollywood need to get it wrong? The best Transformers Media doesn't even feature humans! The robots are the stars, thier conflicts, thier feelings. Humans are suposed to be like plot in a porno, something to help us move the story along not the focus! (if the plot of a sex story is important it's erotica not pornography!). The franchise makes money off the robots, how is this hard to get?
Bumblebee was great because, say it with me, "The Robot Was The Star!". Transformers is not about African American idenity, not about African American culture. It's about "Autobots wage a battle to destory the evil forces of the Decepticons" not "homeboy hustling to make ends meet while the man holds him down". You want to make a movie about African American idenity, and culture? Do it, make that movie! Pour your heart, soul and try to make the best dammed movie you can. But do NOT cram that film into the story of Optimus Prime trying to stop Megatron from building a doomsday space gun! You disrespect the simplified escapisum of Transformers, where good guys are good and bad guys are bad. You disrespect the complicated truths of African American cultual idenity and stuggles. Stop mixing the two thye do not mesh well no matter how hard you try!

For a while I've seen sitcom analysis videos and one thing ai find fascinating and Scary is how little the shows actually tell us about their characters!
Think about it, functioning on the premise these are "Real People" is the actually time the show spends with them enough to judge them as people? The show focuses on specific stories, on the most dramatic and interesting parts of life. The high highs,the low lows. The outrageous and intresting inccidents focused around the show's core premise. That leaves so much of thier lives as mysteries, so much to happen off camera. The show gives us a fraction of their life, most of it not shown or mentioned.
The Divorced parent with split custody. They seem like a bad parent, we barely or never see the child. But is the kid involved in the show's core premise? Is the truth that they spend tons and time with the kid, be the kid is never on the show because they logically wouldn't be involved with the story?
The Ditzy Blonde who seems to have no job? What if she has a great job, but manages her time so well that her vaction days coinsode with when the gang goes on a wacky adventure?
Is Big Tough John gay? Well there is no evidence, but no one sociaizes with him outside work, he never speaks about dateing. He doesn't act stereotypically gay, but that means nothing.

If you really think aboutnit you could have two Sitcoms, with the same main character,but because the situations they revolve around are physically or socially no where near each other the cast never mix. The main character to their own ignorance leads a double life. He changes his bahavior based around who's he's with, so the character has different personalities on each show, yet is still the same guy.

If the upcomeing Velma show did this plot point it would be brilliant. Yes this show could be saved if they had the balls to tirn the Protagonist intoma sort of stalker. Of course the whole never be this brave or creative

But let's pretend it isn't going to be a dumpster fire, suspend our disbelief and just imagine....

So we have an epiaode where "Velma" tells her friends "My wierd half cousin will be visting this week and she's really weird and so are her friends so migjt be best if you guys stayed away thill they left."
Do a shot of Velma's apartment and we see a Blue BWM Van with flower designs in the parking lot.
"Velma's" friends think thye see and and approach her but TWIST it's White Velma with Daphne, Freddy, Shaggy and Scooby-Doo. Then "Velma" shows up dressed differently and everyone stares at her. "Mindy, what is this?" Real Velma asks fake Velma. Now the revelation, Fake Velma the star of this show is actually Mindy Dinklly, Velma's mixed race cousin. She has obsessed with being just like her Cousin and hasn't taken the creepy steps of legally changeing her name to Velma and gaslighting her friends to turn them into Diveristy token versions of Mysteries Inc. she even plans to adopt he own Great Dane but has be stalled because she is trying to get one of Scooby's Cousins. She is confronted by her Cousin and her friends for being so weird and creepy. The Mysteries Inc gang leaves but all of "Velma's" friends haven't forgiven her yet and all revert to what we find out where their real personalities. But a mystery happens and they are the only one who can solve it and are foced to work together. Over the course of the case we find out who these characters really are, and they aren't anything like the Knock-Off Mysteries Inc "Velma" was trying to build. The trope of race and genderinf swapping established characters is deconstructed and at the end of the season "Velma" legally changes her name back to Mindy and stops trying to Copy her Cousin.

So on Nov 11 the game Tactics Ogre Reborn came out. As a result I starting browseing GameFQAs to see if any e found scerets etc. Doing so reminded me of the litle behaviors som gamers have that piss me off, and while they always existed so mamy people have grown up trained in these bad habits.. The game literally has a game guide IN the game and people don't consult it and end up asking questions about how the game works that said guide Explains often I'm detail. People who went they have instructions and answers on hand and don't read them are one ofmy worste pet peeves.
When I was younger and aomeone wanted to "learn to play" I was expected to explain everything to them, and they balked when I picked up the instruction manual and said "this tells you how". People would literally get a new game and throw out the box with the Instructions more than half the time! Now in an age where the manual is in the game people still don't read them. And it makes less sense on GameFAQs when they ask basic questions!
To get the answer there you have to
Have a device that can browse the web. Go to the site. Log In. Search for the game you want. Create a new Topic and write out your question. Wait for someone to answer. Read the Answer.
This is considered eaiser than
Turning on the game. Opening the Menu .Scrolling down to find the topic. Reading the answer.
How is 6 steps, one of which you might need to wat several between minutes and a hour for someone else to do, faster than 4 steps with instant pay off?
When it's a topic a manual wouldn't cover ok, but basic things like simple game mechanics?
Oh ad yes this extends to any thing with insuctions or a manual. Read the instuctions on the dammed box of Mac and Cheese! Read the Manual your appliances come with!

Ok so for me point of the Addams family is the Creepy Supernatural Family juxstaposed against "Normal" Life. As it result the Wednesday series by Tim Burton feels like it misses the point. The series sees Wednesday Addams sent to a Supernatural Gothic Private School with creepy supernatural mysteries that feels kind of wrong to me. Your putting a character who traditionally clashes with the "Normal Setting" into a setting where she totatly fits in? So it's no a "Weird" Person reacting to normal life or "Normal" People reacting to a "Weird" person it's a Weird person reacting to a setting she sees as normal?
It's like doing the Normal person goes to mafic school story, except when they have to pick between the magic school or normal middle school they pick the normal school! Like refuseig the call to adventure as the result is the anchent evil decides "Oh ok, then I guess I'll disband my evil army and become a Lawyer instead."

Social media and the Internet is frankly starting to depress me when I find thing I like, because reality reminds me I can't have them. All these ads for swag and snack boxes, I think are so neat... Then I remember "But it would be a waste of money for me to get them". The Swag box is neat, but I have no where to display my stuff and probably wouldn't want half the contents. Services where you skip boxes youndon't really want? Oh cool and... What is the point if end up skipping 10 out of 12 boxes?
Snack boxes? Awesome I'd love to try snacks... Most of which I can't eat cause I'm diabetic or won't like cause it's spicy...
New RPG books that's great for my... No wait I have no one to play with so they would just gather dust with the books I'm already own and never use...
Action figures? Plushies? I love them they can... Sit in boxes with the ones I already have but can't display...
Disk plates I can... Not put those anywhere... Art work can go... No space for that either.
So yes gotten to a point seeing something that appeals!to me only makes me sad.

If you've ever played a competitive online game you know one of the banes of such games are hackers and modders. I on and off play Dragonball XenoVerse 2 and it has hackers and modders of course, to get illegal moves, illegal cosmetics and to modify stats. The developer found while they could ban people with illegal moves and cosmetics(though they didn't care about cosmetics) Stat hackers could use modified saves to get though.
The solution a "Shadow Patch". As the game calculated damage and defense bonuses the highest effective boot you could get was 1.93% with max possible stats, hackers where raising thier stats to get 2.3% boost. So developers went in and added a bit of code that basically made it so if your boost exceeds 1.93 it becomes zero. Now those modders who spend money on their modded save file to get beyond max stats found themselves with weak characters.
Found this out while watching YouTube videos of a XenoVerse Streamer demolishing Modders, confused how they where being destroyed so fast, why it was easy was clear they sucked at the game, but shouldn't the defense and health mods extent the battles? But when your mods weaken your character and you suck well your shredded like tissue paper.
It's like someone who only ever uses aim bot trying to play and FPS, they never learned to aim themselves!

Everyone likes to talk about represention in media, but doesn't anyone remember Nickelodeon accidentally has a show about a trans character? Then only reason its never mention being that people are ignorant about animal atatomy.
The Nickelodeon Film Barnyard and it's series Back at the Barnyard start a cow named Oatis as he tries to keep them fact the live stock is intelligent from the farmer while wackyness happens. A Pretty standard cartoon.
But wait! Oatis is male and a cow.... Male and a cow, presenting male, thinks of themselves as male, is treated as male, and has a utter. Male bovines are not called cows and do not have utters. The common stupidity that all bovines are cows cused Nickelodeon to accidently create a trans sexual cow.