Go watch my new account here ---->

Let's welcome Blue back! Yeah! .......

Let's also talk about all those charge backs, the reason I'm $274.37 IN DEBT NOW.

There is a specific reason why I posted my Skype, email, AND Facebook on my userpage. So if I lost access to my account, you could contact me elsewhere. ONE person did that. ONE person emailed me. I also have a TOS for a reason. I honestly can't believe this turned so, SO bad within SEVEN DAYS.

I thought before was bad.... =/

SIX PEOPLE CHARGED BACK, taking the money FROM MY BANK, and now I'm almost in $300 in debt, and guess what that means? No food or utility money, LUCKILY I saved from my commissions and have enough for rent. I have enough to save my ass for rent.

Why are there so many people out there that don't care about others? I don't even have a single note from anyone who chose to charge back... Oops, her account is suspended, SHE SCAMMED ME I'M CHARGING BACK OMG.

I have sketches, flat colours, WIPS of commissions, so much work and time was wasted.

I'm moving accounts ... All my commissioners will get my new username in a note within the next couple days.

Donations are being accepted. I can't take anymore commissions for the next few days as I catch up, because I'm already behind from not having access to my notes for a week.

alexsullivan87[at]hotmail.com // Donations don't go unnoticed.

I'm just drained. And, thanks for this guys.

PLEASE be patient. I'm catching up with things as fast as I can so I can open up commissions again.

Let's face it, I'm a complete introvert, and I can't make friends or hold a conversation.

Though I'm kinda at a lonely part in my life where I wanna make some friends who I can have conversations with, do art for, share the same interests etc.

Soooo yeah!

*** Edit ***

I'm not up for discusing sexual or dirty things! D= Please don't note me these type of messages =(

Due to two people backing out, there is now TWO slots left! Go here, or note to claim it ; http://www.furaffinity.net/view/23569619/

Right now I'm stuck again XD

My bank transfer from Paypal didn't come in yesterday.

I've been saving up with my Paypal, and even though I have the money I don't have access to it. If I transfer it to my bank, it'll take until Tuesday.

I'm needing the funds to pay the utility bill which was due Friday ( oops x.x )

If anyone would be willing to, I have $150.00 in paypal, and I'm looking to transfer that to someone, and that someone e-transfer me the funds.

I'm sorry I disappeared, but I'm feeling better now, much better.

Thank you guys so much...

Things just blew up after I made the journal ( in a good way ! ) but I had to step back. I still had to worry about my sister's party and getting everything set up.

Due to donations and a large commission I received, I was able to pay the utility bill, and get my sister a birthday present, and my mother a mother's day present.

I was astonished that I actually had a little bit left over to get a few things I had been struggling to get since moving out on my own / hadn't had in a few weeks due to lack of money. Things for myself other then food. I honestly don't know how long it's been since I've bought any clothes or shoes, ( So long last time I went into Spencer's a graphic T-Shirt at regular price was $15.00 CAD now they're $25.00 CAD , also hadn't been in the mall so long didn't even know a year ago they made a whole new addition... )

Before I received the donations my clothes wardrobe was extremely slim. It consisted of tank tops, yoga pants that were too tight on me and would cut off my circulation at the waist, a sweater my rats had chewed near the ends of the sleeves, and ( TMI - stained underwear ).
I had money left over to get a couple pairs of pants, and shirts, and thankfully some new undies, and NEW SHOES, after two years of not getting a new pair and walking around with a holey shoe. I also was able to buy my shampoo and conditioner for my psoriasis, something I haven't been able to afford in so long.

My life has always been at a low, but I don't want to express myself as such. I've always thought as myself as strong, but last Tuesday I broke down. I didn't have anyone to talk to, and I thought even then I was grasping at air. I had a dark week, and I apologize if I came off in any negative light.
I don't like to make myself seem so low, and I especially don't like to broadcast the way that my life is. I like to keep it behind the scenes, not because I'm hiding things, but because putting more pain into the world certainly doesn't do anything.
I'm not looking for pity, and I'm especially not wanting to give off wrong impressions.
I just want to thank everyone. Thank you for your kind words, thank you for your support, thank you for the donations. I don't know what to say.

Tuesday night I felt so grateful yet so guilty at the same time for accepting donations. My psychiatrist has told me I need to learn to accept help when I need it, and not let myself suffer. I even have problems asking my boyfriend for money when I know he has it.
Honestly, I don't know what I would have done if my sister's birthday came around and I came up empty handed for the second year. She's done and given so much to me, and if I couldn't have even done a simple thing like get her a cake, it would have made me feel like I have been feeling - low, worthless, powerless, and useless.

Thanks to everyone who has left kind comments, thanks to everyone who has donated, it's brightened my life so much. I no longer have to worry. I can now start focusing on commissions, and not receiving them!

Thank you so much everyone. Thank you.

Add me on Facebook if you'd like ; https://www.facebook.com/profile.ph.....00006844638307

My sister's birthday is tomorrow and she's not going to have any decorations or anything. I also have to let her know that I don't have my portion for the utility bill.

I'm so sick of being on the bottom step. My Disability hasn't even went through yet, and I'm getting so frustrated living day to day on scraps, worrying if I'll get a commission to feed myself.

It's tiring. And when your exhausted from stress, while trying to not eat so much so you'll have enough for the next day, it's extremely hard to sit down and focus on art. I sit and try to draw, and all I can think about it "what's going to happen tomorrow? Your sister's birthday is ruined."

Since the forced refund, I've been in serious debt. I didn't even get to buy $40.00 worth of food this month. We thought not using the heat would keep our utility bill down but nope...

I'm just so tired.

It gets frustrating because I fucking hate to beg and post so much for commissions. People tell me to get a job but they don't realize I can't physically, or emotionally have or maintain a job. That's why I'm going through the works on getting onto Ontario Disability Supplement Plan.

I'm just.... tired of feeling like I'm under everyone else and I have to beg to get the necessities I need in life.

Why should I have to fight so hard to live? I've been fighting my whole life, and people always tell me it's going to get better. Finding out I have arthritis at the age of 16 piled on tons of depression. I can't get the career I grew up wanting, and now I'm struggling to feed myself.

I'm about done honestly. Anyone have any fucking bullets?

Would anyone be interested in PYYW commissions? Minimum of $10.00 USD, the least you'll get is a fullbody sketch?

MY LIFE HASN'T BEEN IN SHAMBLES, SO I AM DOING THIS!

My Board Game Night Give - away is still in action! But this is what I've always promised my watchers ~

So, here it is!

This month's theme is DISNEY , so you'll get the chance to win a feral illustration with a character of yours, and a animal character from disney!

All you have to do is post your character's reference sheet, and what character you'd like them done with!

NSFW is weeeelcome!!

This is FREE if that wasn't clear!

So get commenting to enter! =)

Update ; Beware has been posted , and I'm waiting to hear back from Paypal.

---

I NEED SOME HELP ... I THINK I'VE BEEN SCAMMED OR WRONGED

So, here it is. Today I got a dispute through paypal for $18.00USD. Checked the date, the time etc. It's been a day shy of a month since I recieved the initial commission payment.

I haven't recieved any concerned notes or messages about a commission. I also haven't ignored anyone about commissions either. You message me and I'll do my best to tell you when it'll be done.

I desperately tried to go through messages and notes and I don't have anything for that date.
The reason for that is I most likely completed their commission, and they're just disputing a refund for nothing.

The problem is I don't know who the hell this person is - other then their Facebook which seems to have me blocked? Which makes me more suspicious. I keep my commission que list as usernames, not emails. And with no message asking about a "overdue" commission, I don't know who this person is.

This is all I know about them ;
[ information removed, person has been found ]

The date I recieved the transaction is March 25th

I've already emailed them with no response.

Once I find this person I will be posting a proper beware on them. Either way, in this situation they are in the wrong. Either they recieved the artwork and are trying to run with the money, or they neglected to follow my TOS, and filed a dispute when it hasn't even gotten close to my 'turn around time' deadline.

ANY help is appreciated. $18.00 doesn't seem like a lot, but in my money it's nearly $25 which would buy me food for a few days - something that was taken away from me this morning.

Heya! Thank you guys so, SO much for the support! Because of this, I'm wanting to give something back for free ~!

Everyone who is on my watch list qualifies! So if you want the chance of one of your buddies being included, make sure ya have them watch me!

What I'm wanting to do is a EIGHT + character portrait, different characters playing different board games together, Monopoly, Kurplunk, Cards Against Humanity etc ~ Pretty much just everyone having a good time and enjoying themselves.

This will also include MARIJUANA USE as my character will be smoking using a bong! But as for NSFW, there's going to be none of that!

There's a few rules, but here we go ~
- You must have a clear character reference
- No characters with wings
- It's gotta be your FURSONA, the main one ya use! Don't use this as a 'oh, I'll get some nice art of this cheep adopt so I can sell it later on for more money', it doesn't work like that =/

If you're interested in a chance to win a spot in this portrait, please comment what character you'd like included, along with 'xbaftw' somewhere in your comment so I know you've read this all!

Thanks again guys ~

I'm really hoping that I can get the badge of approval, and I'm asking for your help ~

If you've commissioned me, please fill out this form and help me become a trusted artist!

https://fs20.formsite.com/Trusted-A.....rm1/index.html

I've been feeling quite lifted the past few days.

Even though commissions are slow, I was able to buy the whole easter dinner for my family for the first time. Tomorrow I will be cooking everyone dinner.

I've been doing different things with my art, trying new shading and styles. I'm getting very confident with my anthro pieces, and I didn't realize how easy it was to draw things like table and couches.

I want to improve my art and grow my audience, and I think I'm on the right road to do so!

My personal life is still stressful, but isn't life just stressful? My boyfriend and I are doing well, Padme is getting her shot on Monday, and she may actually not need the other two shots, so wish us luck!

I was perhaps thinking of updating my patreon, but would you guys be interested? I'd be doing private art for patreon users x3

Also going to be doing a feral free lineart! Which species should I do?

How are you guys doing?

It would be AWESOME if some of you guys could fill out my survey! I'm hoping that it's going to help me with my business!

https://goo.gl/forms/LhAxnIlaBSbfRifA2

Hey everyone, guess what I've been keeping secret the past couple weeks?

THIS!

I got offered to do a interview with Dante, and despite my anxiety I decided to go past my comfort zone and try something new.

This will be airing at 2:00pmpm( Eastern Time Zone UTC-05:00) , but feel free to come a bit early ~ I'll be chatting with viewers live, and I'll be willing to answer any questions you may have!

GO HEEEERE; https://furry.fm/

I've been doing my best to work through my current situation, but my anxiety has been killing me. I haven't been able to sleep or eat. My anxiety hasn't been this bad since I was living with my parents.

I'm begging everyone to be patient, and if you CAN'T, then I'll give you a refund when I can. My TOS is a month and a half and I have people two days after noting me demanding me to show them a WIP.

Cannot handle it, everyone needs to read my TOS, and it is NOT my fault if you don't read it.

I'm just so tired. My fingers hurt, my body is shaky, I just can't wait for Friday to come along, then at least I'll be able to get some groceries for myself.

FIXED, STILL USING THIS! XD

Doing a quick stream for about two hours ~ This time I'll be working on a birthing portrait featuring Alue from Balto !

So this is NSFW!

Remember everyone who stops by and watches gets a chance to win a full portrait at the beginning of each month! Don't forget to also watch for more streams !~

https://picarto.tv/xBlueAshes
https://picarto.tv/xBlueAshes
https://picarto.tv/xBlueAshes

Doing a quick stream for about two hours ~ This time I'll be working on a birthing portrait featuring Alue from Balto !

So this is NSFW!

Remember everyone who stops by and watches gets a chance to win a full portrait at the beginning of each month! Don't forget to also watch for more streams !~

https://picarto.tv/xBlueAshes
https://picarto.tv/xBlueAshes
https://picarto.tv/xBlueAshes

We had made the phone call and everything to set up the vet appointment to get Padme her first shot. After we made the call we felt huge relief knowing that she'd get the shot, the swelling on her genitals would go down, and she wouldn't be at risk of an infection - then I'd have time to raise the money for the second shot.

Last night, I went to the store to get some milk and a few other things, and my card was declined.
I went online to my bank account, and my heart fucking dropped. I WAS and STILL AM furious. My bank account is negative $47.oo

I currently owe over $1,000+ on a credit card. I had received one when I opened my first bank account when I turned eighteen. When I was waiting for assistance, I relied on the credit card for rent and food. Up until three months ago I was up to date with payments, but the interest has been killing me, and I haven't been able to make a full payment in three months.

I can only guess Friday they took all the money I had out of my account, the money I had for Padme, my utility bill, and groceries is ALL GONE.

This isn't the first time the bank has taken my money and put my account on hold. I never thought they would do this over $230.00 , especially to someone with a disability and who is on limited income. I've expressed such to the credit company, but I get the same response each time.

I'm desperately trying to get the funds back, and can only hope I get more commissions. I'll have to edit my TOS to a longer TAT, as I will need to work my ass off day and night to get this money back.

Some of you may noticed I 'poofed' for a few days, and I'd like to apologize about that! But I'm back in action, and I'm continuing with commissions.

For the next hour or so, come check it out ~

https://picarto.tv/xBlueAshes

Still getting things out! I just would like to let you guys know that if it isn't completed yet, you can shoot me a note and change characters etc ! Don't hesitate!

Also, if it's been less then three days, please don't PM me asking me 'when will this be done?', as my TOS states I don't work in que, and my TAT is a month or less.

I'm currently working on my own website, so stay tuned for that!

Prices will also be getting a slight change, and I'll be offering laminated badges soon!

COMMISSIONS ARE ALWAYS OPEN! PLEASE MESSAGE ME!!

Needing some money to give a couple refunds, along with getting some groceries.

I accept Paypal and Interactive E-transfers!

%10 OFF of species I've never drawn / only drawn once !

Anthro Prices;
Flatcolour Badge • $13.00 USD / $17.34 CAD
Fully Shaded Badge • $22.00 USD / $29.35 CAD
Animated Icon • $27.00 USD / 36.02 CAD
Waist Up Detailed Portrait • $25.00 USD / $33.36 CAD
NSFW Detailed Portrait W/ Two Characters • $45.00 USD / $58.92 CAD
Character Reference Sheet • $30.00 USD / $39.28 CAD

Feral Prices;
Flatcolour Badge • $10.00 USD / $13.34 CAD
Fully Shaded Badge • $20.00 USD / $26.68 CAD
Fullbody Flatcolour w/ very simple background• $15.00 USD / $19.64CAD
Detailed Icon • $16.00 USD / $20.95CAD
Fullbody Detailed Portrait • $25.00 USD / $32.73CAD
Animated Icon • $25.00 USD / 32.73 CAD
NSFW Detailed Portrait W/ Two Characters • $40. 00 / $62.82CAD
Character Reference Sheet • $25.00 USD / $32.73CAD

ANTHRO ART BUNDLES ;
New Character Bundle • $60.00 USD / 80.00 CAD ( Save $20 + )
INCLUDES;
- A Custom Character Reference Sheet ( or a remake )
- A Flat Colour Badge
- A Fully Shaded Badge
- A Waist Up Detailed Portrait
Spoil Yourself Bundle • $100.00 USD / 130.00 CAD ( SAVE $70.00 + )
INCLUDES;
- Two Fully Shaded Badges
- Three Waist Up DetailedPortraits
- One Animated Icon
- One Character Reference Sheet

FERAL ART BUNDLES ;
New Character Bundle • $60.00 USD / 80.00 CAD ( Save $20+ )
INCLUDES;
- A Custom Character Reference Sheet ( or a remake )
- A Fullbody Flatcolour w/ Simple Background
- A Fully Shaded Badge
- A Animated Icon
Spoil Yourself Bundle • $100.00 USD / 130.00 CAD ( SAVE $70.00 + )
INCLUDES;
- Two Fully Shaded Badges
- Three Full Body Flat Colours w/ Simple Background
- One Animated Icon
- One Fully Detailed Icon
- Two Fullybody Detailed Portrait
- One Character Reference Sheet